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Stuff White People Like (Unabridged)

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

They love nothing better than sipping free-trade gourmet coffee, leafing through the Sunday New York Times, and listening to David Sedaris on NPR (ideally all at the same time). Apple products, indie music, food co-ops, and vintage T-shirts make them weak in the knees. They believe they're unique, yet somehow they're all exactly the same, talking about how they "get" Sarah Silverman's "subversive" comedy and Wes Anderson's "droll" films.

They're also down with diversity and up on all the best microbrews, breakfast spots, foreign cinema, and authentic sushi. They're organic, ironic, and do not own TVs.

You know who they are: They're white people. And they're here, and you're gonna have to deal. Fortunately, here's a book that investigates, explains, and offers advice for finding social success with the Caucasian persuasion. So kick back on your IKEA couch and lose yourself in the ultimate guide to the unbearable whiteness of being.

Alphabet Juice (Unabridged)

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

After 40 years of making a living using words in every medium, print or electronic, except greeting cards, Roy Blount Jr. still can't get over his ABCs. In Alphabet Juice, he celebrates the juju, the sonic and kinetic energies of letters and their combinations. Blount does not prescribe proper English. The franchise he claims is "over the counter" and concentrates more on questions such as these: Did you know that both mammal and matter derive from baby talk? Have you noticed how wince makes you wince?

Three and a half centuries ago, Sir Thomas Blount produced Blount's Glossographia, the first dictionary to explore derivations of English words. This Blount's Glossographia takes that pursuit to other levels. It rejects the standard linguistic notion that the connection between words and their meanings is "arbitrary." Even the word arbitrary is shown to be no more arbitrary, at its roots, than go-to guy or crackerjack. From sources as venerable as the OED (in which Blount finds an inconsistency, at whisk) and as fresh as Urbandictionary.com (to which Blount has contributed the number-one definition of "alligator arm"), and especially from the author's own wide-ranging experience, Alphabet Juice derives an organic take on language that is unlike, and more fun than, any other.

Animal Farm (Unabridged)

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

George Orwell's classic satire of the Russian Revolution is an intimate part of our contemporary culture, quoted so often that we tend to forget who wrote the original words. It is an account of the bold struggle that transforms Mr. Jones' Manor Farm into Animal Farm, a wholly democratic society built on the credo that All Animals Are Created Equal. Out of their cleverness, the pigs Napoleon, Squealer, and Snowball emerge as leaders of the new community in a subtle evolution that bears an insidious familiarity. The climax is the brutal betrayal of the faithful horse Boxer, when totalitarian rule is re-established with the bloodstained postscript to the founding slogan: But Some Animals Are More Equal Than Others.

The Screwtape Letters (Unabridged)

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

A masterpiece of satire, this classic has entertained and enlightened readers the world over with its sly and ironic portrayal of human life and foibles from the vantage point of Screwtape, a highly placed assistant to "Our Father Below". At once wildly comic, deadly serious, and strikingly original, C.S. Lewis gives us the correspondence of the worldly-wise old Devil to his nephew, Wormwood, a novice demon in charge of securing the damnation of an ordinary young man.

The Screwtape Letters is the most engaging account of temptation, and triumph over it, ever written.

I Am America (And So Can You!)

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

What The Daily Show is to evening news, The Colbert Report is to personality-driven pundit shows. Stephen Colbert brings his sarcastic charm to a half-hour report, tackling the important issues of the day and telling his guests why their opinions are just plain wrong. Stephen stands for "truthiness" and his American right to copyright that word and claim ownership of it.

The author describes his audiobook as a simple audiobook from a simple mind: Stephen Colbert's. In plain conversational language, not to mention the occasional grunt and/or whistle, Stephen explains his take on the most pressing concerns of our culture: faith, family...hygiene.

Why now? Stephen fears America has lost its balls and he hopes to re-ballify us...even the ladies. Ladies can have balls: lady-balls too. Stephen likes to call those "Thatchers". Stephen will show how he got his mammoth swinging sack with tales of courage and vital documents from his own life, including the Mother's Day card he made at age six, disputed credit-card bills, and putt-putt score cards - all the major milestones.

The Geography of Bliss (Unabridged)

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

Part foreign affairs discourse, part humor, and part twisted self-help guide, The Geography of Bliss takes the reader from America to Iceland to India in search of happiness, or, in the crabby author's case, moments of "un-unhappiness".

This book uses a beguiling mixture of travel, psychology, science and humor to investigate not what happiness is, but where it is. Are people in Switzerland happier because it is the most democratic country in the world? Do citizens of Singapore benefit psychologically by having their options limited by the government? Is the King of Bhutan a visionary for his initiative to calculate Gross National Happiness? Why is Asheville, North Carolina so damn happy?

With engaging wit and surprising insights, Eric Weiner answers those questions and many others, offering travelers of all moods some interesting new ideas for sunnier destinations and dispositions.

Things I've Learned from Women Who've Dumped Me

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

The Emmy award-winning former executive producer of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report has assembled a stellar line-up of men who have one thing in common: all have been dumped...and are willing to share their pain and the lessons learned.

When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? (Unabridged)

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

Following his two New York Times best sellers, Brain Droppings and Napalm & Silly Putty, comes George Carlin's third audiobook, When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, a riotous journey through the mind of one of America's premiere comic observers.

Ranging from his absurdist side (Message from a Cockroach; TV News: The Death of Humpty Dumpty; Tips for Serial Killers) to his unerring ear for American speech (Politician Talk; Societal Cliches; 13 Sections of Euphemisms) to his unsparing views on America and its values (War, God, Stuff Like That; Zero Tolerance; Tired of the Handi-crap), Carlin's legendary irreverence and iconoclasm are on full display as he vainly scours the American landscape for signs of intelligence.

He also has a silly side:

You know what kind of guy you never see anymore? A fop.

A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed."

I've never seen a homeless guy with a bottle of Gatorade.

A lot of gay men stay in the closet because they're interested in fashion.

I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we don't talk, he works out alone, and I go home.

Here's something you can't do by yourself: practice shaking hands.

When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not an agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.

Good news for senior citizens: Death is near!

O.J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers.

The Areas of My Expertise

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

In the great tradition of the American almanac, The Areas of My Expertise is a brilliant and hilarious compendium of handy reference tables, fascinating trivia, and sage wisdom on all topics large and small. Although best sellers such as Poor Richard's Almanack and The Book of Lists were certainly valuable, they also were largely true. Here is a different kind of handy desk reference, one in which all of the historical oddities and amazing true facts are sifted through the singular, illuminating imagination of John Hodgman, which is the nice way of saying: He made it all up.

New Rules (Unabridged)

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

Bill Maher first came to national attention as the host of the hit Comedy Central and ABC-TV program Politically Incorrect, where he offered a combustible mixture of irreverence and acerbic humor that helped him to garner a loyal following, as well as a reputation for being a hilarious provocateur.

Now, his popular new HBO television show, Real Time with Bill Maher, has put him more front and center than ever. In particular, one of the show's segments entitled "New Rules" has struck a chord with viewers. It's within his rules that Maher takes serious aim, bringing all his incisiveness, wit, and his signature exasperation to bear on topics ranging from cell phones ("I don't need my cell phone to take pictures or access the Internet. I just need to make a phone call. From everywhere! Not just the places it likes!") to fast food ("New Rule: No more McDonald's in hospitals. I'm not kidding!") to the conservative agenda ("Stop claiming it's an agenda. It's not an agenda. It's a random collection of laws that your corporate donors paid you to pass."), Maher brings these brilliantly conceived riffs to audio for the first time, along with some singularly Maher-ian "editorials", editorials nothing like the standard fare found on the pages of the local newspaper!

Nothing's Sacred (Unabridged)

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

You've seen him on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart offering up his trademark angry observational humor on everything from politics to pop culture. You've seen his energetic stand-up performances on HBO, Comedy Central, and in venues across the globe. Now Lewis Black's volcanic eruptions can be found in Nothing's Sacred, a collection of rants against stupidity and authority, which oftentimes go hand in hand.

With subversive wit and intellectual honesty, Lewis examines the events of his life that shaped his anti-authoritarian point of view and developed his comedic perspective. Growing up in 1950s suburbia when father knew best and there was a sitcom to prove it, he began to regard authority with a jaundiced eye at an early age. And as that sentiment grew stronger with each passing year, so did his ability to hone in on the absurd.

True to form, he puts common sense above ideology and distills hilarious, biting commentary on all things politically and culturally relevant.

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea (Unabridged)

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

In My Horizontal Life, actress and stand-up comedian Chelsea Handler boldly recounted her one-night stands - the good, the bad, and the disastrous. In this wickedly honest new work, she casts the net wider with even funnier results, recalling the most noteworthy highs and lows of her life to date - including her efforts to diversify by dating red-haired men, her obsession with midgets, and the dog-sitting interlude in which her boyfriend became overly familiar with a Peekapoo.

Whether it's a vacation with her dad during which he tells airline staff they're a honeymoon couple in order to get an upgrade, or her elaborate attempts to convince her third-grade classmates that she's starring in a Private Benjamin sequel, Chelsea lets it rip in these relentlessly entertaining essays. Displaying the candor and irresistible turn of phrase that have earned her a recurring stint as a correspondent on The Tonight Show as well as her own E! series, Chelsea Lately, this deliciously skewed collection is a guilty pleasure.

Me Talk Pretty One Day

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

David Sedaris' new collection of essays - including live recordings! - tells a most unconventional life story. It begins with a North Carolina childhood filled with speech-therapy classes ("There was the lisp, of course, but more troubling than that was my voice itself, with its excitable tone and high, girlish pitch") and unwanted guitar lessons taught by a midget. From budding performance artist ("The only crimp in my plan was that I seemed to have no talent whatsoever") to "clearly unqualified" writing teacher in Chicago, Sedaris' career leads him to New York City and eventually, of all places, France. His move to Paris poses a number of challenges, chief among them his inability to speak the language. Arriving a "spooky man-child" capable of communicating only through nouns, he undertakes language instruction that leads him ever deeper into cultural confusion. Whether describing the Easter bunny to puzzled classmates or watching a group of men play soccer with a cow, Sedaris brings a view and a voice like no other to every unforgettable encounter.

Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim (Unabridged)

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

In his newest collection of essays, David Sedaris lifts the corner of ordinary life, revealing the absurdity teeming below its surface. His world is alive with obscure desires and hidden motives, a world where forgiveness is automatic and an argument can be the highest form of love. Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim is another unforgettable collection from one of the wittiest and most original writers at work today.

America (The Audiobook)

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

Jon Stewart, host of the Emmy and Peabody Award-winning The Daily Show, and his coterie of patriots deliver a hilarious look at American government.

Termed a "political king-maker" by Newsweek, and "the Dan Rather of infotainment" by Vanity Fair, Jon Stewart, along with the writers of The Daily Show, combines his riotous wit and razor-sharp insight in this hilarious book.

American-style democracy is the world's most beloved form of government, which explains why so many other nations are eager for us to impose it on them. But what is American democracy?

In America (The Audiobook), Jon Stewart and The Daily Show writing staff offer their insights into our unique system of government, dissecting its institutions, explaining its history and processes, and exploring the reasons why concepts like "one man, one vote", "government by the people", and "every vote counts" have become such popular urban myths.

Among the topics:

Ancient Rome: The First Republicans

The Founding Fathers: Young, Gifted, and White

The President: King of Democracy

The Supreme Court: 18 Legs, Four Tits, One Mission

Running for Office: What Are You Thinking?

The Media: Can It Be Stopped?

The Future of Democracy: The Constitutional Robocracy and You!

This program contains explicit language.

Naked

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

Welcome to the hilarious, strange, elegiac, outrageous world of David Sedaris. In Naked, Sedaris turns the current mania for the memoir on its proverbial ear, mining the exceedingly rich terrain of his life, his family, and his unique worldview, a sensibility at once take-no-prisoners sharp and deeply charitable. A tart-tongued mother does dead-on imitations of her young son's nervous tics, to the great amusement of his teachers; a stint of Kerouackian wandering is undertaken (of course!) with a quadriplegic companion. Through it all is Sedaris's unmistakable voice, without a doubt one of the freshest in American writing.

The Podfather Trilogy - Season Four of The Ricky Gervais Show

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

Here are three special episodes of The Ricky Gervais Show, featuring those doyens of the medium, the eponymous multi-award winning Ricky Gervais; Steve Merchant (The Office, Extras); and the round-headed idiot savant, Karl Pilkington.

Part I: Halloween
Ghostly drivel abounds as Steve consults an SMS-based oracle, Karl experiences a kidney probing, Steve visits Bristol, Karl becomes a Godfather, and Ricky tells of some lighter moments at the morgue. (Includes a CD-giveaway contest that has already expired - sorry!)

Part II: Thanksgiving
Karl is unfamiliar with the American public holiday mentioned in the show's title and launches a campaign for a calendar-free society. Ricky explains the origins of Thanksgiving, prompting him to ask Karl who might be a good choice for a present-day pilgrim father. Steve brings up the sterling work mice are carrying out in the name of medicine. Karl's hypochondria comes to the fore as he describes a recent visit to a leg-rubber who prescribes a toe-based soporific. More readings from Karl's diary; UFOs; the will to live; Madeira cake; Relative merits of gay and heterosexual men's pornographic magazines; Oxfam's extended product lines; and Karl is concerned about the shortage of new sounds. Plus there's a (now defunct, obviously) competition to win copies of Karl's book and the new CD box set.

Part III - Christmas
Karl reflects on the year past and singles out an unlikely highlight; Steve stocks up on yuletide essentials; Karl advocates an anarchic Christmas and complains about his domestic chores; Karl's diary draws to a close with revelations of bothersome footwear, cravat-luggage, not-so-current affairs, bees, beds, and worry-holes; and Ricky provides an emotional exit en route to the orphanage.

Ricky Gervais Show: The Complete Fifth Season

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

The record-breaking, chart-topping comedy phenomenon returns for a fifth season - all four episodes are here as a single download.

Ricky Gervais, of course, is the award-winning co-creator and star of The Office (upon which the current NBC hit series is based) and HBO's Extras. Steve Merchant, who also stars in Extras, is his long-time creative partner. Karl is a pile of protoplasm that mimics the functions of a human being.

Ricky Gervais Show: The Complete First Season

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

Were you one of the several people on Earth who didn't catch every historic episode of the most-downloaded podcast ever? Or maybe you treasured every golden moment and want to preserve it for future generations? Now, all 12 episodes of The Ricky Gervais Show: The Complete First Season are here in one package that's far tidier than Karl Pilkington's thought processes.
It's more than six hours of Ricky's rants, Steve Merchant's meanderings and Karl's - well, whatever it is that Karl does.

Letting Go of God

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

Julia Sweeney says she was a "happy Catholic girl" when, one day, she walked into church and signed up for a Bible-study course. "What an eye opener that was!" she says. "Next thing you know, I was on a quest for something I could really believe in. I traveled to places like Bhutan, Ecuador, and my local Starbucks looking for answers. Would I embrace Buddhism? New Age pseudo-science? Was I a freak for feeling the way I did, or were there other people out there just like me? I was grappling with serious questions. But, somehow, a lot of the things that were happening to me seemed, well, funny."

Equally comedic and insightful, Letting Go of God is Sweeney's brilliant one-woman show about her struggle with her faith. Grappling with the seeming contradictions in Adam and Eve, Noah, the Ten Commandments, and even the teachings of Jesus - and trying to understand the Bible's messages about morality, family values, and human suffering while faced with door-knocking Mormons and wise-cracking priests - Sweeney takes listeners on her very personal journey from God to "not-God".

This performance was recorded on November 19, 2005, at the Ars Nova Theatre in New York City.

Julia Sweeney was a cast member on Saturday Night Live from 1989-94, and is best known for the mysteriously androgynous character, "It's Pat!". She has also served as a consulting producer on Sex and the City and Desperate Housewives. Letting Go of God is her third monologue. She performed her first, God Said, "Ha!", in Los Angeles, San Francisco, and on Broadway, as well as in a film produced by Quentin Tarantino. The CD version was nominated for a Grammy.

Ricky Gervais Show: The Complete Third Season

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

Season 1 was the most downloaded podcast in history. Season 2 blasted the boundaries of blather. And now, it's The Ricky Gervais Show: The Complete Third Season. Pay one price, and you'll get all six episodes from Season 3, full of the latest ravings, rants, and ramblings from Ricky, Steve, and Karl.

The News from Lake Wobegon, 1-Month Subscription

WED, 08 OCT 2008 10:02:10 EST

"It's been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon, my hometown...." Garrison Keillor first did his monologue in 1974 to an audience of 20 in a St. Paul theater. Today, more than 2.2 million people tune in each week to hear the tall tales and sweet stories about the citizens of this small Minnesota town. It's a town where "the women are strong, the men are good-looking, and all of the children are above average." Keillor's monologues capture the nuances of country life and of growing up American with eloquence and subtle humor - the luxury of rhubarb pie, the Krebsbachs' thrifty vacation, the vapor lights of Our Lady of Perpetual Responsibility. Step into "the little town that time forgot" and you'll forget it's not your own town, yet feel so close to home.