DONATE to the Unemployed Philosopher's Guild (aka: KP + Mermaid Palace)

DONATE to the Unemployed Philosopher's Guild (aka: KP + Mermaid Palace)

What do I tell my kids? What if my no DOES mean yes? How bad DOES he have to feel? How are racial dynamics similar? How do I not be depressed about humanity? 

This is an extended version of the original episode from 2017, including more questions and more grappling. SEND KP YOUR THOUGHTS in VM form for the update-isode!

DONATE to support the creation of a final episode telling the story of all that happened after this famed series aired; friendships rekindled, apologies made, mistakes repeated, lessons learned and unlearned and never learned and will she ever learn. 

THANK YOU to all who have donated 100+ dollars! Look out for an email soon where you will receive unreleased writing and the story of what happened to KP and Jay after she made the series. 

"Tending the Garden" is a new healing resource, launched by the Trauma Queen Jimanekia Eborn. FOLLOW THIS WOMAN.

In the "reality check" section: we hear a 37 year old echoing the words of a 27 year old. An attempt at reconciliation gone wrong, the precursor for what we will hear in the next episode. 

DONATE to support the creation of a final episode telling the story of all that happened after this famed series aired; friendships rekindled, apologies made, mistakes repeated, lessons learned and unlearned and never learned and will she ever learn.

When the little girl becomes a teenager and her deepest want comes to pass, it turns out she doesn't want it. She wanted. . . something else. Something more?  Something less? Something sweeter. She doesn't know exactly what she wants, but she learns the hard way what she does not want. 

"Advance" a non-psychedelic trip into my girlhood was originally produced in May 2017. It was named after the type of advance that is made flirtatiously (or threateningly or shyly and on and on).  In this 2025 update we lean into the double meaning: 

HAVE WE ADVANCED ON THESE ISSUES SINCE 2017? OR HAVE WE...RETREATED? ['retreat' is listed as the opposite of the word 'advance' on dictionary dot com. Not a word we generally use in reference to this topic, and yet it feels like an interesting way to look at what we usually call "regression"]. Listen to decide for yourself, and then send us a voicememo with your thoughts to kaitlin@mermaidpalace.org. 

2025 UPDATE FROM KP: Drove by North Dundas the other day on a joyride. The smoking tree is not small anymore. 

DONATE to support the creation of a final episode detailing all that happened after this famed series aired; friendships rekindled, apologies made, mistakes repeated, lessons learned and unlearned and never learned and will we ever learn. 

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Donate to Mermaid Palace! Exciting new projects incubating in need of anti-capitalist support aka indie financing. Thank you to all who already donate, it makes a big difference and we love you <3

Sign up to get our trianual newsletter: the one email KP writes per every three years. 

Support the Jaber kids in their studies <3

When Tarneem sat down to write a letter to her home, this work of poetry emerged in only a couple of hours. We didn't edit a single word. 

It’s been 6 months since she left her home in the north of Gaza. Every day she watches the news and prays for her family, her friends, her people. She waits for the world to wake up. She waits to see her pain reflected and acknowledged. Heartbroken and determined she wonders, “are we not even entitled to nostalgia?”

The letter was written and recorded by Tarneem Jaber, age 19. Music and sound design directed by Ahmad Jaber.

HELP AHMAD ENROLL IN UNIVERSITY: He found a university in Turkey that will accept his credits and let him continue from where he left off. We need 7k more to make enough for tuition! GET THIS YOUNG MAN INTO SCHOOL HERE.

At the same time, we reflect on an entire year of collaboration, awakening and creation. Ahmad Jaber celebrates a birthday that only reminds him of a year of his youth he has lost. In the penultimate episode of the series, KP, Ahmad, Tarneem and the rest of the team take stock of the past, the future and the way we and the world will never be the same. 

Help Ahmad Jaber enroll in University HERE. THE UPDATE: it is half way through the semester, he was accepted at a University in Turkey that will allow him to continue from where he left off! He cannot enroll unless we can make enough for tuition: 7k remaining!

Six months and many voice memos later, some of the fears Doreen expressed in her interview start to occur as Israel attacks Lebanon. 

"This is some black mirror shit. We've never seen anything like this." says Doreen. 

Support Doreen's newest venture Omgyno!

Help the Jaber Trifecta finish med school!

Tarneem Jaber (19 yrs old)  was starting her first week of med school on October 7th. Her brother Ahmad  (21 yrs old) was in his third year of dental school with only two remaining. Hamza, the oldest (24 yrs old), was supposed to graduate this June: He was a volunteer at Al-Shifa until it was obliterated.

The three siblings survived the destruction of their home, food shortages, a long journey to the border, and finding an apartment to rent in Cairo, Egypt. Only a few weeks later they were doing an interview on zoom with a Canadian for a feminist podcast they’d never heard of, telling the story of what they lived and what goes on for the loved ones they left behind.

Each of the Jaber siblings chooses a monologue to read: Hamza reads #30: Yasmeen Abu Amer. Ahmad reads #8: Ehab Elayan. Tarneem reads #13: Reema El Sadi. "We relate to every single word in this monologue," Tarneem says.

"But this war, is worse than anything we lived before."

Support them to complete their mother's parting wish: to finish their education. Thrust into complete independence and faced with international student fees and paying over again for years they already completed, these three brilliant students need your help to fix problems they never should have had to face. Please follow our link: https://gofund.me/854be259

Alaa is a graduate of the Nobel prize nominated Freedom Theatre acting and the co-founder of the Palestine Comedy Club.

EASE ANY GUILT YOU FEEL ABOUT WHERE YOUR TAX DOLLARS GO BY SUPPORTING SOME BRILLIANT KIDS TO FINISH THEIR EDUCATION.

Discussions of whether the cute-ass canals and oh-my-god-there’s-a-boat’s will become his permanent home frame the recording of the first monologue in Ashtar Theatre’s play: 

Ahmad El Ruzzi from Al Wehda street, who was 17 years old when he wrote the story of his experience of power outages, trust issues and karma.

PLEASE DONATE TO OUR FRIENDS FROM GAZA WHO LOST EVERYTHING AND I MEAN EVERYTHING. If you can afford it: consider donating a thousand dollars and giving up 2 - 5 fancy dinners or 10 take-out meals for you and your boo — if 150 people donate 1k each, these young people don’t have to wait and watch donations trickle in over the course of the next few months. Afford them the security of knowing they have some power over their future. 

A glimpse into the friends and friends of friends that share their stories in our upcoming series: an adaptation of the Gaza Monologues by Ashtar Theatre (Ramallah). A group of artists, activists and students from Palestine and beyond read the famed monologues from 2010. Speaking words written by teenagers experiencing war in Gaza over a decade ago, we reflect on what's happening today.

“We relate with every single word in this monologue. [But] this is bigger than any war we’ve lived before.” Tarneem Jaber. 

Please give generously to the young people from Gaza who shared their stories in the series: empower them to reclaim their dreams HERE. 

Music: : Marj Ibn Amer - Muqata’a 

Responding to Ashtar Theatre’s global call to share testimonies from young Gazans first performed in 2010, the series features a chain of personal connections from New York to Toronto to Jordan to Athens to Beirut to Nazareth to Jenin and most importantly: to Gaza. Connections that were forged in a moment of grief and at the same time share some dark-as-hell comedy, appreciation for the sublime, a little too much wine and the most important kind of love: the kind that makes you care about people far away that you haven't met yet. 

PLZ PLZ PLZ DONATE TO THE MERMAID JABER  SCHOLARSHIP FUND PLZ PLZ PLZ  [this is kp and she is on her knees begging you with tears in her eyes mkay] AKA the GO FUND ME we made: https://gofund.me/159b10af

Music Credits: 

Simya - Muqata’a [Kamil Manqus] 

Mayss Invites Xlmxhkfi (in The Ruins Of A Tender Hearts)

Mayssa Jallad - Markaz Azraq (December 6)

A shared moment and meditation: recorded at 4AM in Athens Greece with the window open as the rain fell, gazing at the Athenian mountains aka: former home of the Gods. Use this episode like you would a meditation app: come back to it when you need a moment of peace. Take out the meditation pillow. Play it when you’re taking psychedelic drugs. Use it to relax during your break at work. Play it with a group of friends on a road trip. Play while you take a bath. Half ambient music, half guided meditation, half transcendental experience across the space-time continuum. 

Don't forget to DONATE to Mermaid Palace <3 We need your dollars to keep making feminist sound art!

In this episode: 

Zeus [from KP: this was not staged. the moment I mentioned his name, he threw a thunderbolt and I happened to be recording. I share the moment AS IS.]

The apartment of the badass artist and feminist Doreen Toutikian (check out her work! For pix of her gorgeous pad: follow KP on insta @kaitlinprest). 

An audience in LA singing with KP:  the premiere of this performance, originally commissioned by the On Air Festival 2019. (thanks Scott and Jemma!). 

An audience in Milan singing with KP:  the reason she was in Europe! (thank you to the friends who came all the way to Milan to see the piece: Juj, Ali, Rosa, Ariel and Doreen. Thank you Sarah, Martina and Andrea from Chora Media, and to the opera singers who practiced in the conservatory as KP walked in to do her sound check).

Send us a recording of you singing along at hello@mermaidpalace.org!

If you are an artist or a writer interested in the complicated journey of translating real life into a fictional universe, this one is for you. If you are a regular human being interested in how love is born and grows and changes over the course of decades, this one is for you. We start with a full length audio doc about all of that. 

And then: the end of a romance. The anatomy of a breakup. The final chapter of “The Shadows”.

This is the 6th episode of The Shadows, from CBC Podcasts. Made by Kaitlin Prest with production and co-writing from Phoebe Wang, editing by Sharon Mashihi, and associate production by Yasmine Mathurin. Cameos from Greg, Nancy, and Natalie Prest, Eliot Feenstra, Ian Field Stewart Raven Castle and the residency SMT.

You hear Brendan Baker’s award-winning creations from the Love+Radio era. He is an audio fiction director, composer, and installation artist specializing in spatial audio and ambisonics currently scanning the horizon for his next big creative project. 

Leonard Cohen clip from “Leonard And Marianne” - Falling Tree Productions

The story underneath the story: Mitchell Akiyama and KP spending 80+ hours pretending to be in a relationship in the summer of 2018. Fortunately, the frustrations you hear in this episode are (mostly) fiction. Six years later, Mitch and KP are Toronto besties. 

This is episode 5 of The Shadows, from CBC Podcasts, written and directed by Kaitlin Prest with production and sound design help from senior producer Phoebe Wang. Story editing by Sharon Mashihi. Associate producer Yasmine Mathurin made this episode sparkle. Mitchell Akiyama as Charlie Park with cameos from Kaitlin’s friends as well as Greg, Nancy, and Natalie Prest. Assistant production on this episode of The Heart by Yasaman Mansoori.

The story underneath the story in this episode is meeting Johnny Spence. The performer and musician that breathed life into the character “Devon”. Former owner of sweater. 

This is episode 4 of The Shadows, from CBC Podcasts,  made by Kaitlin Prest in collaboration with Phoebe Wang. Musician and artist Johnny Spence performs as Devon. Mitchell Akiyama as Charlie Park. Edited by Sharon Mashihi. Appearances by playwright and animator (former puppeteer) Bekky O’Neill and Max Kelly. Assistant production on this episode by Yasaman Mansoori.

The story underneath the story of this episode is one that we will never tell. What we CAN tell: is that the sweater who speaks in this episode is real and it lives to this very day in KP’s trunk. It was given to her in the year 2014, 9 years ago this very week of November. She washed the sweater once and only once since then. The last time she wore it was last week. 

This is episode 3 of The Shadows, made by Kaitlin Prest in collaboration with Phoebe Wang and CBC Podcasts. Musician and artist Johnny Spence performs as Devon. Radio goddess Veronica Simmonds performs as Jean Simmonds. The series was edited by Sharon Mashihi, who also appears in this episode as the other sweaters abandoned in the sweater graveyard. 

“Palestine is a feminist issue”, Yazan Zahzah. Keep showing up. 

Donate to Ashtar Theater’s initiative for psycho-social relief interventions for affected youth in Ramallah.

If you like this show and the other incredible shows on Radiotopia like Weight For It, Hang Up, Normal Gossip, Articles of Interest, The Stoop and more, participate in our fundraiser!

This is episode 2 of The Shadows from CBC Podcasts: an auto-fictional series in which KP explores the life she would have had if she’d become a puppeteer instead of a radio producer. There IS a Terry Gross cameo in this episode. Listen closely. You also hear the real life puppetry aficionados: Jessie Orr, Max Kelly and Bekky O’Neil. 

It’s fundraiser time! Donate to Radiotopia to support new Heart content and all of the other incredible shows on the network. We need your help to make more beautiful and heartfelt audio!

 AND: Don’t forget to call your representatives and support a ceasefire in Palestine. 

In the U.S. 

In Canada. 

In the U.K.

Jewish Voice for Peace

Links and Resources from this episode:

How to Stop a Genocide (while in the global north), Hussan S.K

The Inside Story Podcast: What Influence Can International Opinion Have on the War In Gaza? [Al Jazeera]

Jewish Voice for Peace: visit this site for straightforward actions to take in the U.S.A

Save Palestine: Justice for All Canada: visit this site for straightforward actions to take in Canada

5 Solidarity Actions You Can Take in the UK

Do Better: Spiritual Activism for Fighting and Healing from White Supremacy by Rachel Ricketts

@officialjakegyllenhalal

MC Abdul

Thank you to all of the friends of KP who lent their voices and their experiences to this episode.

Does the fairy tale really exist? Or does it only exist at the beginning of a relationship? Our main character believes that she’ll be one of the outliers who will fall in love, and stay in love FOREVER. 

 Featuring: episode 1 of “The Shadows” from CBC Podcasts. Edited by Sharon Mashihi, senior produced by Phoebe Wang, written directed and performed by Kaitlin Prest. Performances by Mitchell Akiyama, Jessie Orr, Max Kelly, Bekky O’Neil, Meagan Castle, Harry Knazan, Rizz Young. Special thanks to Haley Lewis. You hear the real Rumi restaurant in this episode. You can find this beautiful establishment on rue Hutchinson in Montreal.

We go back in time to the era before the term ‘ghosting’ had been coined and explore the phenomenon that Ayinde Bennett calls “making movies in your head”. 

Featuring: the Prix Italia Gold Award winning radio play (the first podcast to win a Prix Italia! That’s some radio history!) co-created with composer and sound designer Shani Aviram. Associate production by Shira Bannerman, editing and performance by Mitra Kaboli, advising by Sharon Mashihi, performed written and directed by Kaitlin Prest, art by Jen Ng.

Resources for accountability and healing at https://www.theheartradio.org/dad

Trigger Warning - discussion and depictions of parental abuse. For resources go to theheartradio.org/dad

Trigger Warning: topics related to parental abuse, trauma, self-gaslighting, gaslighting. For resources go to theheartradio.org/dad

Trigger Warning: topics related to parental abuse, trauma, self-gaslighting, gaslighting, defensiveness, victim blaming

Resources at theheartradio.org/dad

 TRIGGER WARNING: suicidal ideation, reference to childhood and sexual trauma (no depictions), borderline personality disorder

TW: suicidal ideation, depression, anxiety, alcohol.

TW: Light reference to abusive parental behaviour. No mentions of physical violence.

For resources on parental child abuse go to theheartradio.org/sisters

The new season is coming to you as part of a brand new partnership with the incredible: CBC Podcasts!

Support The Heart and donate to Radiotopia Now! https://on.prx.org/3HK9OIh. From the bottom of our hearts, Thank you!

This piece is an adaptation of a live show written and performed by comedian, Kristen Becker. Produced by Katie Fitzgerald.

Originally produced for BBC Radio 4, Shortcuts. Edited by Eleanor McDowell. 

In response to Emily Dickinson's poem 'Hope is the thing with feathers', this work was originally produced for BBC’s Between the Ears, from Falling Tree Productions. Edited by the great Eleanor McDowall.

Appearances is an audio mindtrip by Sharon Mashihi and Mermaid Palace. Subscribe to the series where you listen to podcasts, or on MermaidPalace.org/Appearances.

Part 3 of a 3 part series. Produced by Phoebe Unter, edited by Sharon Mashihi and hosted by Kaitlin Prest.

Part 2 of a 3 part series. Produced by Phoebe Unter, edited by Sharon Mashihi and hosted by Kaitlin Prest. Featuring Nicole Kelly & Kamala Puligandla.

Part 1 of a 3 part series. Produced by Phoebe Unter, edited by Sharon Mashihi and hosted by Kaitlin Prest.

The cycle begins, in episode 1 of Asking For It, a new fictional series from Mermaid Palace.

Part 3 of a 3 part series.

Divesting From People Pleasing is a mini series produced by Nicole Kelly, edited by Chiquita Paschal, and hosted by Kaitlin Prest.

Part 2 of a 3 part series.

Divesting From People Pleasing is a mini series produced by Nicole Kelly, edited by Chiquita Paschal.

Part 1 of a 3 part series.

Divesting From People Pleasing is a mini series produced by Nicole Kelly, edited by Chiquita Paschal.

In this ep you heard the singing of Sharon Mashihi and phone answering of Mooj Zadie. The manifesto writing of Nicole Kelly and Phoebe Unter, the mic meandering of Dylan Gauche, the phone answering of Mooj Zadie, the song of Drew Denny and Christina Gaillard and the big dream of Kaitlin Prest.

Additional credits: Jen Ng, Mo LaBorde, Allie Pinel, Chiquita Paschal, AJ Moultrie, Sarah Rose, Allison Light, Caitlin Thompson, Rider Alsop, Bianca Grimshaw, Alexandria Fisk, and one long phone call with Jenna Weiss Berman.

Extra special thanks to Jen Ng, our design queen. You can see her incredible work on the website, www.mermaidpalace.org.

Subscribe to The Shadows.

Follow on Insta / Twitter at @theshadowscbc. You can find our FB group here.

Produced by Kaitlin Prest with help from Phoebe Wang. Thank you to all of the listeners who sent us your voices so KP could meet you on the moon. In this episode, you also heard the voices of Mitra Kaboli, Phoebe Wang, Jen Ng, Sharon Mashihi, Samara Breger, Meg Bell, Jessica Grosman, Pejk Malinovski, Sean Cole, Lulu Miller, Veronica Simmonds, Johnny Spence, Nancy Prest, Natalie Prest, Allen Watts and Brendan Baker.

Music by Inne Eysermans, special thanks to Katharina Smets.

If you wanna keep up with KP: ~*click here*~

~* The Secret Link *~

In the inaugural episode of Meat, Jonathan Zenti candidly and beautifully discusses his body and how he loves it despite the fact that not everybody else does.

This episode was created for Radiotopia’s Podquest, by PRX and made possible with funds from the John S. and James L. Knight Foundation.

This episode was originally produced by Samara Breger with The Heart.

‘Private family visits’ is the correct term for conjugal visits. Its purpose is not just for sex, but to help maintain strong relationships between inmates and their families. Studies have shown that private family visits can help reduce recidivism.

Original interviews by Dee LaComte.

*Includes the trailer for our upcoming season, “No.”

Ep 4 of ‘Pansy’: A season where masculinity and femininity meet.

Credits: Writing and music by Local Honey. Production support from Julia Alsop. Editorial Support from Cassie Wagler. Special thanks to Julia Serano.

Ep 3 of ‘Pansy’: A season about where masculinity and femininity meet.

Credits:   Written and produced by Allen J. Watts. Production support from Julia Alsop. Editorial support from Cassie Wagler.

And Korry’s not alone.

In this episode, we continue our conversation on gender and femininity and look at what happens when we move out of the heterosexual dating world and into the queer one. Kaitlin assumed that gay and queer life is one big femme-loving genderfuck. But flipping through gay hook-up apps, it’s easy to spot a “no fats, no femmes” trend. So what’s the deal?

Ep 2 of “Pansy”: A season about where masculinity and femininity meet.

Credits:   Produced with Julia Alsop. Editorial support by Cassie Wagler. Special thanks to the folks at the Food 4 Thot Podcast and to Julia Serano.

Ep 1 of “Pansy”: A season of stories about letting your feminine flag fly.

Produced with help from Julia Alsop and editorial support from Cassie Wagler. Special thanks to Julia Serrano.

Released in May 2016, “Mariya” received the Gold Award (Best Documentary) at the Third Coast International Audio Festival.

Mariya Karimjee is a writer based in Karachi, Pakistan. Read her original essay here.

Editorial support from Brendan Baker, Allen Watts, Kelsey Padgett, Samara Breger and Nadia Bajwa. Additional support from Kari June.

Another version of this story can be heard on This American Life.

Sharon receives emails from Harry, a not-so-secret admirer. It’s her best friend Kaitlin. Sharon is (mostly) straight, but could Kaitlin be the man of her dreams? Years after Kaitlin wrote those emails, the two friends sit down to talk about them and what they meant. They ask each other the questions that have always been beneath the surface of their friendship.

This episode was originally produced by Kaitlin Prest and Sharon Mashihi for the Love Letters episode of Audio Smut in 2014.

Produced by Samara Breger with The Heart.

This episode was written by Alex DiFrancesco with production help from Julia Alsop.

Alex DiFrancesco’s work has appeared in The Carolina Quarterly, The New Ohio Review, and Brevity. Their first novel, a radical acid western called [The Devils That Have Come to Stay](https://www.amazon.com/Devils-That-Have-Come-Stay-ebook/dp/B00T4VVCE4/ref=redirmobiledesktop?ie=UTF8&noEncodingTag=1&qid=1422649392&redirectFromSS=1&ref=tmmkintitle0&sr=8-1), was published in 2015.

This episode is part of the Diaries mini season and was written by Tina Horn. Tina is a Lambda Literary Fellow and the recipient of two Feminist Porn Awards. Check out Tina’s podcast and more.

This episode is part of the Diaries mini season, and was written by Molly Osberg. Special thanks to Allen Watts, John Walker and Amelia.

Voicing by Andy Leonard. Produced by CBC’s Love Me with Sophie Townsend.

Produced by Sophie Townsend and Marty Peralta for The Hearsay International Audio Festival.

In the final episode of the Silent Evidence mini-season, Kaitlin and Tennessee sit down and talk about what happened and didn’t happen in the last three episodes.

Discussion topics in this episode:

Dr. Youssefi,

Restorative Justice,

Being in Crisis,

& Silence.

Find out more aboutSilent Evidence.

Produced by Tennessee Watson and Kaitlin Prest with The Heart. Editing by Sharon Mashihi and Mitra Kaboli. Assistant Production by Ashley Cortez. This project was made possible with funding from the IWMF Howard G. Buffett Fund for Women Journalists.

In episode three, a court case unfolds. Tennessee decides to call the cops and tell them about what happened with Dr. Youseffi. Detective Kimberly Norton picks Tennessee up at the airport in Virginia so she can file an official report. What Tennessee and Detective Norton discover is that Tennessee is not alone. Four women come forward, in three different counties. Only one prosecutor picks up the case.

Find out more about Silent Evidence.

Produced by Tennessee Watson and Kaitlin Prest with The Heart. Editing by Sharon Mashihi and Mitra Kaboli. Additional help reporting by Jocelyn Frank. Assistant Production by Ashley Cortez. Editorial advising by Pejk Malinovski. Music by Matthew Daher.

This project was made possible with funding from the IWMF Howard G. Buffett Fund for Women Journalists.

In Episode two, Tennessee tries to reconcile with the abuse that she suffered. From performance art to installations to hair-brained schemes, Tennessee feels a little better every time she asks people to listen to her story. However, she has underestimated Dr. Youseffi’s impact on her life. She decides to confront him at the gym.

Find out more about Silent Evidence here.

Produced by Tennessee Watson and Kaitlin Prest with The Heart. Editing by Sharon Mashihi.

This project was made possible with funding from the IWMF Howard Buffett Fund for Women Journalists.

Tennessee Watson is a documentarian and artist who has been struggling to speak out about something that happened to her when she was a kid, something that she knew was wrong. When Tennessee was seven her gymnastics coach fondled her vulva. In part one of Silent Evidence, Tennessee takes us in and out of her memories, from childhood to adolescence as she comes to terms with what happened to her and finally revisiting the gym where she was abused.

Find out more about Silent Evidence here.

Produced by Tennessee Watson and Kaitlin Prest, with The Heart. Editing by Sharon Mashihi.

This project was made possible with funding from the IWMF Howard Buffett Fund for Women Journalists.

Mariya Karimjee is a writer based in Karachi, Pakistan. Read her original essay here.

Editorial support from Brendan Baker, Allen Watts, Kelsey Padgett, Samara Breger and Nadia Bajwa. Additional support from Kari June.

Another version of this story can be heard on This American Life.

Special thanks to Damien Luxe who voiced this story for us.

Produced for Falling Tree Productions, as heard on BBC’s Between the Essays series with editing by Sharon Mashihi.

Produced by Dane Stewart, Katie Hill, Matthew Kariatsumari and Michelle Macklem. Special thanks to Renée Hodgins, Emily Skahan and Mira Burt-Wintonick.

This episode was originally produced for The Hearsay Audio Festival. Special thanks to Kelsey Padgett, A.C. Valdez and Allen Watts.

Written & produced by Julia Alsop in collaboration with The Heart. Voice Acting by Brian Dolphin, Julia Alsop, Jenn Custard & Sophie Traub. Special thanks to Allen Watts, Max Pearl, Pizza Haus & the original “Dummy.”

This story was produced by Galen Koch in collaboration with The Heart. Special thanks to Kelsey Padgett, Justine Champine, Desiray Roy, and Aaron Carter.

This piece, originally titled after our hero’s Zine, “My Pink Button”, was produced by Jess MG and aired on Audio Smut a long long time ago.

This story was submitted to The Heart by an anonymous Dominatrix and written for podcast by Julia Alsop.

Joan Nestle is a femme, a lesbian, a writer, activist and editor, and a scholar of butch-femme history and theory. In 1974 she co-founded the Lesbian Herstory Archives – and the archives were housed in her apt for years. You can read more of Joan’s work on her blog.

By the time Gina was 24, she didn’t feel too different from that little pageant girl. She got into theater school but her optimism didn’t last. Soon after getting accepted she was drinking beer for breakfast, failing her classes, and fantasizing about skipping town. That’s in addition to the issues she was having with her boyfriend…

Badger Clark wasn’t the only one out there. Queer fur trappers, stagecoach drivers, European explorers, and poets, like Clark, made their way out west looking for the freedom of a new context. And for many of them, that’s what they found.

In addition to our dynomite team, this story could not have been possible without the help of so many people. Production Assistance by Maria Dønvang. Editorial Advising by Julia Alsop, Brendan Baker, Kelsey Padgett, Tina Horn and Ignacio Rivera.

The biggest thanks to Mummy & Daddy and of course, Stefonknee Wolscht.

Dr. Nagoski has compiled all of her brilliance into a book, called “Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Change Your Sex Life,” in stores now. Trust us, it’s a good read.

If you’d like a fun illustrated guide that explains the model, check out Oh Joy Sex Toy’s version (the best webcomic in the world).

But what if there’s a chance that there’s a little more magic left? Can a one day’s love live another day? After a whirlwind night on the subway with a mysterious man with an easy laugh and terrible taste in music, Caroline decided to give her one day’s love a second chance.

This second installment in our “One Day’s Love” series is about trying to turn one special moment into many special moments. Can it be done?

It was Friday October 26th 2012 and Hurricane Sandy was slowly descending upon New York City. Mitra was at dinner with Kaitlin, feeling a bit down in the dumps, she decided to make a love plan that turned into a prophecy. Upon Mitra’s return home, she finds a man sitting on her couch that she cannot deny her attraction to.

This series is an ode to the short and sweet moments in life, the ones you can never get over. The moments that you wish lasted longer because they were so intense, so perfect, so everything you’ve ever wanted to feel with another human being. You wish you could document every second of your parallel existences together, to show the world, that your love is the best. But you don’t because, much like the mayfly, it’s going to be over before it can ever really start.

This story was produced with help from Lucas Adams. Lucas draws cartoons. You can find some of this work here.

The song, Eintagsliebe by Marteria was a huge inspiration for this series. Listen to it here and be inspired.

Special thanks to Daniel Gross and Michele Robinson for confirming that Eintagsliebe could in fact be a german word.

All dressed up in a wig, painted with rouge and powders, and buckled into high-heeled shoes, Einar, now Lili, looked into the mirror with a singular wonder: “Was it really possible that I could be so good looking?”

So begins the story of Lili Elbe, a transgender painter and painter’s muse, who underwent one of the first series of modern gender confirmation surgeries. Her third surgery, meant to implant a uterus, eventually killed her, but not before she documented her life stories into papers that would later be compiled into the book, Man into Woman.

Lili Elbe’s hope was that her book fall into the hands of people like her. She wanted her words to help generations of trans people know that they weren’t alone. Unfortunately, the book is out of print. So when we got our hands on a copy, we couldn’t wait to share one of our favorite scenes, Lili’s christening night. Here’s a little history, from The Heart.

Or worse, people go out of their way to make you feel bad.

It’s hard to be a woman, yes. It’s a lot harder to be a woman who’s hairier, wider, bigger, taller, square instead of round, straight up and down instead of curvy, big hands, big feet, no vagina and maybe no breasts either. A woman who isn’t quite looking like what some people think a woman should look like. But who is finding her way.

To these women, the world can be downright cruel. More than cruel, violent. Harassment often escalates into assault, and more often than you would like to hear, escalates into full on homicide.

For these women, being womanly in the way we are told we have to is sometimes about more than beauty. It’s about survival. This episode is about the story of one woman’s quest for beauty.

It was a collaboration with badass poet and radio maker, Julia Alsop. After we finished production we invited Zil Goldstein into my walk-in closet magic sound booth to talk through some of the blind spots in the story. Zil is a nurse practitioner, working specifically to help medical providers be more LGBT aware.

If you are interested in learning more about the disproportionate amount of violence that trans women face theNational Coalition Against Violence Project puts out a yearly report.

Once the rules of the game change, once we do something that we’ve never done before, the question of how to navigate the new world is what comes next. What do we do after the first kiss? Will it give way to the first holding of hands, the first public display of affection, the first sex, the first week sleeping in someone else’s bed every night? Or will it be the first, but also — the last?

This is a story featuring Drew Denny, a singer, songwriter, filmmaker and artist. You can check out her first feature film here.

This is an interview about necking (or lack thereof). A kiss over time: at the beginning, in the middle, at the end. If you don’t like how somebody kisses, can you grow into it? Samara’s Grandma tells us her story.

This episode is part of our kissing series. If you want to hear more, go here: http://audiosmut.tumblr.com/

Kaitlin and Kyle. They met at a kissing booth. On their first date they went on a recording adventure (for one of the early Audio Smut documentaries about the Drag Queens). They became obsessed with each other. They ended up making audio recordings of a lot of almost everything that happened between them.

This is the last episode of the season. It is also the last episode of Audio Smut. Don’t cry! We will be starting something new in a few months, better and more beautiful than ever before.

Winner of the Hearsay International Audio Festival GOLD AWARD for best documentary. 

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Audio Smut presents: a radio play. This episode was a documentary experiment, produced in collaboration with composer Shani Aviram. We set out asking questions about how perception is altered in early romantic relationships. How does your sense of reality fail you when you’re falling in love? After months of research and 17 interviews, we decided to write a single narrative encompassing the experiences and facts we unearthed.

Winner of the Prix Italia Gold Award for New Formats. 

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Behold the almighty power of the V. Vaginas can hold the largest and smallest of objects with barely the slightest uncomfort. So it just makes sense to stash your weed in there. Star reporter, Ruth Eddy tells us how she came to use her natural pocket.

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This episode is about growing up, becoming an adult, entering a stage of independence: shaving cream, tampons, driving, voting, doing your own dishes, doing your own taxes and sex. This episode will take you on a path of rituals, formal or otherwise.

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The written word: a way to fuel a romance, a way to capture someone’s attention, a way to break up. We read people’s most private letters, and tell the story of the relationships that were made and broken by them.

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In 1909, James Joyce wrote his wife, Nora Barnacle, a series of very sexy letters. While her side of the correspondence has been lost, we still have Joyce’s letters–and they’re really good. In this quickie, we’re reading you one of our favorites.

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FU*K LOVE. Family. Responsibility. Survival. Economic Stability. These were once much more important to things to build your life on. This episode looks at the ideal of true love, how it came to be and what exists outside of it.

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Does it really exist, or is it just a mythology made up by Hollywood? How would you define true love? Jonathan Goldstein shares his thoughts on this Valentine’s Day special.

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Psychologist and sexologist, John Money came up with the theory of a lovemap. A lovemap is a template. It’s a template that we are constantly measuring our sexual and romantic experiences against. It’s the map of what we like, who we like and how we like it. Money’s idea is that we all have one, and they tend to be pretty specific, right down to how exactly you need to be touched to have an orgasm. In this episode of Audio Smut we explore different kinds of lovemaps; sexual lovemaps that deviate from preconceived notions of what is suppose to happen when one body meets another, dating lovemaps unveiling our tendencies in relationships and finally, the physical map of touch.

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Also, this is the reason why Kaitlin insists on holding our meetings in coffee shops. Here, the lines between public and private, work and pleasure, get a little blurry.

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Homelessness isn’t really something that can be easily defined. Sometimes people make choices, other times people have no choices. In this episode, we have three situations from three very different people about how they managed to get by.

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Keith is and always has been an extremely charming man. I know it was the 90s, but there is nothing charming about a yellow jumpsuit. Poor clothing choices aside, Keith still proves to be a chick magnet. If you love this story, stay tuned for our next episode coming out on Sunday July 7th where you will hear more of Keith plus some other truly incredible tales.

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It’s your highschool sex ed class. Mrs. Green is going to play a movie. You are very excited. The room goes dark, the movie begins. You’re already a little bit aroused; you’ve seen pornography before but never in public with all your friends. Until you see the VAGINAS DESTROYED FOREVER because of unprotected sex. Penises OOZING MYSTERY SLIME never to ejaculate normally again! Encrusted growths! Rotting flesh! You carry a mortal fear of STIs for your entire adult life. Until you get one.

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This story happened to a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of Audio Smut Producer, Erin. When surfing the Casual Encounters on Craigslist one must be prepared to be surprisingly turned on. Things get hot on there. Our shero finds a posting that speaks to her. She is turned on and cannot get this man’s fantasy out of her mind. She is so struck that she responds. She has never responded to a Craigslist ad. She is terrified, excited, and extremely nervous. Tonight, we go to the movies.

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The good times and the bad times of making babies. Babies being born is a topic we accidentally avoid on audio smut. But the fact is, we have bodies that make us babies and sex is involved, albeit in many different ways. In this episode, we look at three different stories of babies being born.

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Devon is one of Kaitlin’s oldest friends from high school. They now live in different cities and see each other yearly if they’re lucky. Kaitlin’s sister recently moved Toronto. The rest of this story is in the gutter, literally. Devon has a very sensitive stomach. He ate too much curry and spicy peppers on the night that was to end with him and two beautiful, naked women. A dream come true, right?

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Seriously, what’s the big deal.

In this episode, we tackle one of the biggest taboos. We eat food, everyday and eventually that food has to come out. Yeah it’s gross and stinky but it is one of the most natural things that our body does. Nonetheless, it’s quite common for people to have hang ups around anything that has to do with butts.

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Tip the show and its creators. This audio magic wouldn't exist without the generous donations of its fans. Thank you!

Experience more than sight, sound, smell, taste, touch. Venture with us beyond the 5-way sense scape.

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