Audrey Bean's Beanitarian Blog

Lava Tofu!

2026-09-13T16:34:03.332-04:00

I've been seeing posts about this on social media and tried it. It lives up to the hype! I could have almost sworn I was eating a fried egg.

I did find it took longer in the oven than the instructions stated. Next time, I might mix a tiny amount of sugar into the oil I brushed the tofu with, just to aid in browning the crust quicker.

Baojiang Tofu Test Kitchen (aka Lava Tofu)

Cream pudding using tofu

2021-07-24T15:05:00.003-04:00

Avoiding a recent disaster, I returned to tweak my longstanding recipe (instant pudding mix + extra firm silken tofu). It came out really good, without that tofu flavor assaulting you. It's noon and I've already eaten it as a filling in 2 pieces of pie.

The addition of flavored extract helps negate the tofu aftertaste that was bugging me. The addition of fat improves mouthfeel and makes it more dessert-like.

Formula

1 box instant pudding mix
2 tsp flavored extract
2 tbs melted butter or margarine
4 oz coconut milk
1 block of extra firm silken tofu

Drain the tofu. Put everything in a bowl and blend it together until it's totally smooth. That's it.

Yesterday I used vanilla pudding mix and coconut extract in this recipe. I toasted some coconut to sprinkle on top. It was definitely better the next day.

Vegan Pumpkin Quinoa Breakfast Porridge

2021-07-13T20:25:00.001-04:00

I made this recipe today in my crock pot. I liked this one because it contained a higher proportion of pumpkin than most other recipes I've seen.

It's pretty good! I ended up using molasses as the sweetener, so much that it's overwhelming the flavor. Next time, I'd use a little molasses combined with sugar or stevia.

I used rice milk, but you could use soymilk to make it beany! I stuck with the recommended coconut milk for serving. I wasn't sure how that would taste with pumpkin, but it works.

It's a keeper--easy to make while you're telecommuting, and healthy.

Vanilla Pudding Disaster

2021-05-09T18:05:00.004-04:00

One week later and I'm hanging my head in shame for falling for another bad recipe: Vegan Vanilla Pudding.

It sounded SO GOOD. I wanted to believe.

After the recommended 10 minute cook time on low heat, the mixture is still iced cold. I cooked another 20 minutes--3 times the cook time in the directions--and it's still total liquid. Not thick at all.

I guess I need to stick to stuff that is tested in professional kitchens or something. I guess they vet the ingredients list to be sure it's specific enough for a home cook to get it right.

Tofu + Cake Mix = Tragedy

2021-05-02T16:19:00.003-04:00

So I fell for a bad recipe again. Oof. I am a big fan of tofu and eat it in desserts often, but the taste and texture of this is very unpleasant.

This recipe promises an easy box mix cake with only 300g of soft tofu, cake mix , 1/4 cup of water and nothing else. It has been published on numerous sites, and once again believed those same 372 people claiming it's great. Are that many people born missing taste buds, or did they happen to have the same sized tofu and cake mix as the author? We'll never know.

I used a basic "perfectly moist" Duncan Hines box. The recipe just said to use moist cake mix, without mentioning a size.

Also, it was a challenge to get 300g of soft tofu without a scale. Nowhere in my area is tofu sold in that size, so I had to do my best to remove the extra 50g of tofu that comes in the block.

With the 1/4 cup of water the recipe calls for, the batter was too thick. I had to add a full cup of water just to be able to use the mixer, and even then it was super thick, like drop cookies.

I've now baked this for 1.5x as long as the box calls for and it has a raw/tofu taste to it. It did not brown up like normal cakes do.

Do.Not.Make.This.

Beans + Brownie Mix + Wine + Colace = Healthy, Easy Dessert

2020-06-16T20:06:00.001-04:00

Social media is buzzing with a new fad of making brownies with just a box of brownie mix and a can of beans. I've been hesitating to try it because it sounds too good to be true, but after 392 people say something is healthy, easy and good, it makes me curious.

Basically, they say you can simply puree a can of black beans, stir in boxed brownie mix, bake as normal, and have delicious results.

And that is true, if you like demi dolce brownies. Demi dolce is a beautiful thing, say for some Italian dessert recipes. It's also great for brownies, if you like your brownies tough and 10% satisfying to eat.

You have to tread lightly when making a dessert healthy. If you take it too far to the healthy side, you could wind up unsatisfied when eating it, and eating larger portions.

I can attest to this, because I've got a fibrous black bean mass living in my colon right now that would undoubtedly show up on x-rays. I may need to have it surgically removed.

This recipe is:

easy
cheap
a great thing to bring to a potluck, if you want to never be invited again
chocolatey, in the sense that it's the color, but not the flavor of chocolate
dense, not in a good way
chewy, if you like to gnaw on a rawhide dog toy
a waste of good ingredients that didn't deserve this fate
a crime against your stomach
banned in some countries

Ingredients

1 box brownie mix (I used an 18 ounce box.)
1 can no salt black beans
wine, to taste
2-3 capsules of over-the-counter stool softener

Instructions

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.
Grease a 13 " x 9 " pan.
Pour the wine into your favorite drinking glass.
Pour the can of beans into a large mixing bowl.
Use your stick blender to puree them until smooth.
Take a break to get a sip of wine and pat yourself on the back for cracking the code of secretly healthy brownies.
Pour the brownie mix into the mixing bowl.
Do not smell the batter. (You were warned.)
Weep because of the crime you just committed.
Stir vigorously until well blended. This will be a workout because you're basically mixing something the consistency of grout.
Realize you have just made a huge error in judgement making this recipe, take 4 more sips of wine, and go all in.
Pour the concoction into the baking pan. Work quickly, because the batter will thicken by the second as it evolves before your eyes into a sentient, malevolent being. Here is an actual photo of the batter before malevolence took hold.
Bake for as long as it says on the box. Ignore the moans and screams coming from the oven as you bake it.
Hold your breath, check the monstrosity and realize it is still rare and still making monster noises. Bake for another 10 minutes to kill it. (I say hold your breath because the smell is nasty. It smells exactly like brownies baking in your neighbor's oven, if your neighbor lives 3 doors down, and you are baking old socks and used tires in your oven.)

At this point, you'll need to slam 2-3 more glasses of wine, wait until the alcohol kicks in, and eat a warm brownie. You'll be half drunk, and it will be marginally edible while it's warm.

After it's cooled, you'll feel as though you are chewing on my garbage can's wheel.

Use a large steak knife to saw it into pieces. Don't let the flatness of the brownie fool you into thinking it's easy to cut. It didn't rise, so it's way more dense than you think. And again, I don't mean that in a good way.

Now swallow 2-3 stool softener capsules to digest the puck. Sleep in a separate room from your partner that night because you are going to stink up the room with your bean batter farts.

Alternatives

I have heard of people using a mix of blonde brownie mix and a can of white beans to make this recipe. They are the same type of liars that told me you could make the chocolate ones, and I hope they all have itchy tags in all shirts they buy for the rest of their lives.

I have heard of some people not using the liquid from the bean can and instead replacing it with water. Let's face it, this recipe is not good enough to bother trying that.

Aquafaba English Pancakes

2020-05-30T11:09:00.000-04:00

I tried these today. I used black salt instead of table salt to give it a slight eggy taste. This resulted in a really strong sulfur smell, so I added a bunch of nutmeg (another eggy sort of flavor), a pinch of cinnamon and 2 tbs of sugar. The sulfur smell went away and the flavor was definitely in the background.

These were totally awesome and easy to make. Try them!

https://avirtualvegan.com/vegan-english-pancakes/

Unbelievably delicious DIY instant vegan soup

2019-03-04T20:41:00.003-05:00

I threw this together today and wanted to share. So easy, and it didn't need refrigeration!

If you don't know, TVP stands for textured vegetable protein. It is a soy product. It comes in chunks (like ground beef) or strips (like beef strips).

Ingredients:

1/2 brick of ramen noodles without seasoning packet
1 tbs miso
1 tbs chopped green onion
1/2 vegetarian bullion cube
sriracha, to taste
3/4 cup TVP strips
1 1/2 cups water

How to pack this lunch:

Put the TVP in the bottom of a portable soup cup. Add the rest of the ingredients except for the water.

How to heat it up:

Add hot water, ensuring the TVP and noodles are covered. Let sit for about 15 minutes until TVP and noodles are soft. Stir.

Carrabas

2017-08-09T20:45:00.000-04:00

My omnivore dining partners have always been happy with their meals at Carrabas.

Having said that, if you're vegetarian, you may find the menu to be very limited for you. Here is my recent experience (August 2017).

Given the fact that Italian cuisines are rich in vegetarian options, I was expecting to have a few choices. There were a few appetizers, like fried zucchini and bruschetta. I was hungry and wanting an entree. There was no eggplant, heartier pasta dishes, cheese ravioli--nothing at all like that.

I spoke with the server, who asked if I eat seafood or pork. I said no.

She pointed out they only offered either pizza or one other vegetarian entree--pasta with stewed tomatoes, garlic and oil. It was a special occasion and I didn't want pizza, so I ordered the pasta, already disappointed. The server suggested "building my own pasta" which, she explained, was ordering sauteed vegetables to go on top with it. I ordered mushrooms.

The server let me know they did not have any vegetarian salad dressings--only Italian dressing. She said all others have meat in them. I was really surprised by that!

The pasta arrived with what seemed to be an entire box of linguine with 1 single button mushroom sliced thinly. It was ok but I am not a fan of large chunks of raw garlic in anything.

So to summarize, my dining partner freaking loved his meat entree. (I was wishing they would have offered that same entree with a portobello or eggplant instead of meat. I can actually think of hundreds of other ideas that would not be costly or difficult for them to pull off.) My meal turned out to be vegan. Even though that wasn't my goal (except for dessert, of course), it's always a bonus. My meal consisted of meh bread with the saltiest olive oil dip known to Man, a cocktail that tasted like Robitussin, a meh glass of wine, enough pasta to feed a family without much else in it, and an excellent slice of ricotta cheesecake.

I know it is totally the restaurant's decision what to put on their menu, and it's totally my choice to patronize that place or not. It never ceases to surprise me though, that restaurant owners don't have a smidge more to offer the 10%+ of its customers who influence whether their party goes to a particular restaurant. I know I can (and did) "get by" by finding something edible on any menu, but honestly, I'm not going to return if it doesn't taste good. It's just not worth the money and effort of going out.

Jif Chocolate Cheesecake Hazelnut Spread

2016-03-24T19:33:00.000-04:00

In a moment of extraordinarily poor judgement, I purchased a jar of Jif Chocolate Cheesecake Flavored Hazelnut Spread.

Or perhaps it was curiosity. Nutella-like goodness swirled with cheesecake? Sign me up.

The cheesecake part is basically cream cheese flavored frosting from a can. Blasphemy.

It's basically sugar with a little flavoring sprinkled on top, but the sprinkling only happens every other Tuesday. The rest of the week, it is just sugary crack.

I can't review the hazelnut part because the taste of the cheesecake crack frosting is drowning out the hazelnut and chocolate flavors.

VERDICT: Crackety.

Gardein Fishless Filet

2016-03-21T03:00:00.000-04:00

Another win for Gardein! Applause!

The batter is made of tapioca starch, resulting in a beer battered type texture--light and crispy. The filet itself meets my requirements--tasty, reminiscent of a comfort food, but doesn't taste too much like meat.

The Gardein website suggests fish tacos--I'm definitely going to try that.

Happy Meatless Monday!

Pseudoscience

2015-07-06T21:57:00.003-04:00

I have long taken an interest in pseudoscience and scientific illiteracy, and its harm to society. Recently, I've been following the antics of a blogger who calls herself Food Babe. From what I see, she largely posts selfies of herself traveling to exotic places with random bits of snake oil logic underneath, along with an admonition to buy products from her sponsors. Yet she has a large following.

Recently I came across this post on another blog, glorifying Food Babe as a vegan victim of Internet bullies. I posted the following comment underneath. I wonder if it will get posted!

Food Babe author Vani Deva Hari is far from vegan. She posts about bacon, butter, cream, etc.

You are correct that she has a large number of detractors, though I do not know of any reason to believe “they” are getting paid. I know I’m not.

I do not agree with people being nasty or bullying.

Stating truths and criticizing falsehoods is responsible and appropriate. Vani has made an enormous amount of false, dangerous statements, such as the following.

-Microwaved water’s molecules say ‘Hitler’ and ‘Satan’ when they vibrate
-Flu vaccines are dangerous
-Hospitals try to make you sick by giving you unhealthy food
-GMOs are dangerous
-Airlines are poisoning the air with nitrogen

Pseudoscience and conspiracy theories are a serious detriment to society. What we need is increasing scientific literacy, curiosity and skepticism to enable people to make better choices for their health.

Creamsicle smoothie!

2015-05-02T20:30:00.000-04:00

98 degrees and hot flashes. Necessity is the mother of invention!

I blended about 2 tablespoons of orange juice concentrate with 2/3 cup soymilk, a teaspoon of vanilla extract and 1.5 cups of soymilk. Fantastic!

The Food Lab: How to Grill or Broil Tofu That's Really Worth Eating | Serious Eats

2015-04-11T23:36:00.001-04:00

The Food Lab: How to Grill or Broil Tofu That's Really Worth Eating | Serious Eats

Detoxes: an undefined scam - Examine.com Blog | Examine.com

2015-04-11T22:19:00.001-04:00

Detoxes: an undefined scam - Examine.com Blog | Examine.com

Nutrition and Cancer Prevention

2015-04-04T11:24:00.000-04:00

Report: The Sugar Lobby Threatens Organizations, Buries Science on Health Effects

2015-01-02T21:09:00.001-05:00

Report: The Sugar Lobby Threatens Organizations, Buries Science on Health Effects

Truvia pear pie

2015-01-01T20:22:00.001-05:00

I used my standard apple pie recipe from Betty Crocker's cookbook and substituted Truvia brown sugar blend and pears. I followed the Truvia package instructions to substitute the sweetener.

Win! It really tastes good. The Truvia site says their apple pie recipe contains 70% less sugar and 20% less calories than the sugared variety.

You can’t detox your body. It’s a myth. So how do you get healthy? | Life and style | The Guardian

2014-12-07T09:26:00.001-05:00

You can’t detox your body. It’s a myth. So how do you get healthy? | Life and style | The Guardian

Pandas' Bamboo-Only Diet Should Kill Them

2014-07-10T22:02:00.001-04:00

Pandas' Bamboo-Only Diet Should Kill Them | IFLScience

Solar Freakin Roadways

2014-05-25T16:57:00.000-04:00

If you care about reducing animal injuries and environmental issues, this is a must watch. Seriously. Watch this.

EDIT: This technology has come under quite a bit of scrutiny, so here's a place to start.

Easy Mediterranean Lunch Salad

2014-05-18T17:17:00.000-04:00

1 can of chic peas
1 beefsteak tomato
1 medium cucumber
1 tbs fresh mint
juice of 1/2 a lemon
dash of ground cumin
1 garlic clove
8 oz drained yogurt (plain) [can be made with fat-free or vegan yogurt if you wish]
salt and pepper

Drain your beans. Meanwhile, dice the tomato and drain.

Separately, dice the cucumber and mix in the salt. Set aside for 10 minutes, then pour off the juice. Add the yogurt, pepper, and cumin. Crush the garlic and julienne the mint. Mix everything together.

Eat as a salad or sandwich filling.

Easter Menu!

2014-04-20T20:49:00.001-04:00

It was dinner for two today, so I didn't want to be overstuffed and left with too many leftovers. Everything came out well. I had eggplant in my main course, as a nod to the holiday. ;)

Bevande

Rum Sour

Antipasti

Deviled Eggs

Primi

Lasagna Alla Norma

Secondi

Stuffed Peppers

Dolce

Italian Pastries

Buffalo-Style Cauliflower

2014-02-01T11:34:00.001-05:00

Buffalo-Style Cauliflower with Cashew-Dill Dipping Sauce : Recipes : Cooking Channel

I am totally trying this. What an awesome idea!

I am probably going to take a shortcut by buying bottled chicken wing sauce, which I find is pretty good.

ETA: It was good, and totally hit that spot on your tongue reserved for wings. I used bottled bleu cheese dressing too.

Daily Food Plans

2014-01-04T20:52:00.001-05:00

Daily Food Plans

Visit that link for some free, helpful daily food plans to get yourself on track!