Audrey's Closet

Life sucks right now

2006-02-24T00:46:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone. I'm back!

I finally got a job in January of this year. I went to training while suffering through pneumonia. Came back all excited and ready to go to work when I was hit with reality.

This job sucks.

I know, I'm lucky to have one, but really I'm spinning my wheels here. I am making about the same amount of money I did on unemployment, maybe a bit more. I'm still unable to pay all of our bills, which really sucks.

And I can't sell a damn thing.

This coming from a star that shined at her last company and was the best in sales at that place. Makes me wish I was back at that horrible mismanaged company.

The reason I can't sell is that the market I am selling to is very heavily saturated with salespeople just like me. In my metro area there are 12 other people out there selling for the same company! My god we are not LA or NY! What does this tell you? That management overhired because they expect people will drop like flies when they realize the same thing I have realized. One gal that started when I did wishes she could go back to her old job. I'm with ya there on that one.

Lucky for me I never gave up. I kept my resume out there scanning jobs and I have an interview tomorrow with a promising company that pays more than the crap job I have now. It's also a better sell than this job.

I've got to do something as I just can't get motivated enough to try to sell to this over saturated market.

Wish me luck.

And hey do me a favor, if you read this blog, even just once, drop me a line and let me know. It'll encourage me to write more.

Love ya
Auds

PS Isn't Kiefer hot in 24!?

2 Posts in a month - are you impressed??

2005-10-14T01:47:00.000-07:00

I really need to create an outlet to write, I think this helps me out a lot. I need to remember to write in my blog everyday. I don't think anyone reads this blog, but I don't care. It's very therapeutic anyways.

Got 2 job offers; 1 for a not so great job, commission only, but a chance to make a lot of it. Still it's one of those jobs that you have got to wonder if it is really as easy as it sounds. I'll go to the training and see what it is all about. I got the job without a face to face interview, so that tells you right there that there are issues. I don't know what to do though because we need the money. We are getting poorer by the day. I hate looking at my bank account balance.

Then the 2nd job that I really would like to work for them except I make more money on unemployment, even after working a 40 hour work week. I don't get bene's either.

I took both jobs. I'll have to give up one or the other as the training is at the same time. I sure hope I know what I am doing.

I'm waiting to hear back on a third job that I applied for and did a phone interview with - major company, major bene's, major perks and the money is there. I really hope I get this one.

Sorry this is so boring but I really have to get my thoughts on paper before I can stand to decifer what I am to do.

Gotta go to bed.

Audrey

Have you ever...

2005-10-12T00:30:00.000-07:00

1. Taken a day off from work when you weren't sick?
2. Not told someone that they had something stuck on their face?
3. Wished you had taken a job offered, but didn't because you thought it wouldn't be a good job?
4. Had sexual thoughts about someone you didn't know, but randomly saw on the street?
5. Or about a celebrity?
6. Wished you had more money?
7. Wished you looked better?
8. Wished you had more time?
9. Wished you were younger?
10. Written a list about your deepest darkest thoughts?

Now that you know mine, what are yours?

Auds-

Spam and Scam

2005-09-14T00:53:00.000-07:00

Spam and scam. That is what you get, or perhaps I should clarify, what I get everyday in my email box. The spam from the people that can help me fine tune my resume and the scam from the bounds and bounds of people who want me to come to work for them, but then don't have a legitimate offer of employment for me.

I recently accepted a job, a sales job, with hesitation only because the U.S. Food Program (aka Food Stamps) doesn't cover a family of 4 living on unemployment, and also because unemployment doesn't cover a family of 4 either. So I accepted this job. Know what sucks? This job, a sales job, required me to pay a fee of $250 to receive the sales kit and to cover my training costs. It also calls me a "contract employee" which is a fancy term for "we don't think you'll stay with us once you really learn more about us and this will cover our costs until we find another sucker." Well hey, I'm feeling pretty smart now because I only made it through the 10 hour training CD before I said "I don't think so".

I'm required to purchase my advertising/marketing materials through Kinko's; I'm also required to purchase my own business cards. This company has no faith in their sales people. They set us up to fail. Especially when the training CD is 20 years old and I am told that it shouldn't been given to me. Ok, thanks!

Then there are the aimless insurance people that call and call and call. They want to know if I can start my own insurance franchise. Well if I could do that, then I guess I would have money, and I guess I wouldn't be looking for a job. What are they thinking? Hello, I am a broke mom of 2 with a husband in school full time. Where do I have money to buy a franchise??!!

Then there are the low of the low. The scammy financial advisor jobs. They are the worst. I only say that because they pissed me off beyond belief. They actually think you can take 8 weeks out of your time to pass 3 exams, over 10 hours combined, spend $3000 doing so and then work for $7 an hour while training another 6 weeks. What? Am I related to Donald Trump?? I don't have that kind of money or time?? HELLO! What the fuck are they thinking??

I have a saying that goes like this "don't burn bridges". What it essentially means is that don't be mean to anyone in hopes that you may need them later. So while thinking, ok repeating that mantra over and over, I am hoping I can stay calm enough that I don't yell and scream at these people at their interview.

Well with that said I have some interviews coming up. Well known companies that I hope will turn profitable for me. Let's hope anyway.

See ya

Auds

Woe is me

2005-09-07T21:18:00.000-07:00

Well I have been away for awhile, actually quite awhile.

I should have known from the signs that I was going to be laid off, but instead I chose to ignore them and now I have no job. One of millions of Americans that do not have a job.

Not to sound sad or anthing but we are running out of money. I am desperately looking for a job, but unfortunately nothing pays enough to pay bills. Or I get that I am either (pick one or all)

a: too experienced
b: not experienced enough
c: both

Does that make sense after they have read my resume and talked to me over the phone a few times? Couldn't employers make sense of that after the first conversation or are they not listening? Hello?

I love the form letter I get from one employment agency that tells me that I am way over qualified for the jobs they offer. I am looking for sales and they are administrative work. But it never occured to the letter writer that maybe I'll take anything right now because I have a family to support.

We do have some positive things to look at:

1. I've been unemployed since June and I've been able to pay bills up to now. Mortgage was a close one though this month.

2. We made it through school clothes and school supply purchasing without going broke.

3. We had one pitiful vacation this year as a family.

4. We are still alive and healthy even though we have no health insurance.

This sucks.

Ever notice how stress takes away your desire to have sex? More on that in the next few days.

Audrey

It's been awhile

2005-05-24T09:13:00.000-07:00

Wow, it has been awhile since I last wrote. I'm going to try to write in this thing at least once a week.

I was very angry last time I wrote in here. I've been very busy too. Very poor! I got my paycheck and commission check, paid bills and here we are with $300 left. Then I get my expense check and again an item was left off. I've had it with this company and their rules they create each and every time.

I need to find a new job or a supplement to this job. I'd like to find something I can do on eBay, but it's hard to come up with ideas that someone else hasn't already done. Speaking of eBay, do you realize that people sell a regular item on eBay, then hide something in this item and try to get thousands more for it? Or how about the mystery suitcases that they get thousands of dollars? How crazy is that? You have no idea what you are getting. Must be nice to have money to throw away like that. I would settle for $10,000 right now. That is all I need to make me happy.

Well business seems to be picking back up. I'm kind of surprised considering the damage we have done to the company. People still want to do business with us even though there are rumors out there that we are failing as a company. Surprising.

I'm hoping these new accounts that I've landed will bring in mucho dinero. I need the revenue back up.

At long last it's sunny days again. We should be hitting 90 degrees this week. I forgot what 90 degrees feels like, but I think I will soon find out. At least we have AC. Yay!

Gotta run and get back to work
Auds

Why me?

2005-05-19T18:14:00.000-07:00

Why do I have to take the brunt of the Company and deal with upset customers who are not getting paid the money we owe them. Without going into too much detail and explaining where I work, we owe our customers money. Because of the mismanagement of the company by my boss the company owes customers money. So all of my accounts are complaining because we owe them money. Some customers we owe millions of dollars. I don't yet understand why or how we can stay in business. I really don't understand it. I have been through college and taken accounting courses but it even baffles me.

So customers call up and yell and scream at me not realizing that I am the just messenger and to not shoot me. They want my boss who paints a pretty picture for them and makes promises that he can't keep. We have the controller who says we are out of the woods and on our way back up, but then we are 2 days behind in payments and everyone is complaining. Why did the company end up like this? I want to go fucking hide. I hate this. This is so stressful for me. I am scared to get another job because I have it so well here. That is when things are going good.

I work from home. I schedule my own calls. I can take time with my kids and husband. I create my own hours. But then my boss, who calls me an executive because of my salary, tells me I need to work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. When do I get a fucking day off? NEVER according to the ogre that is my boss. I have never been so pissed off as I am now. Instead of bringing new merchants in, I want to tell them to run for the hills, you'll regret using our services. I am so upset now that I can't type worth crap. Making a ton of mistakes.

I need to find a new job NOW. No more of this shit. My boss the fuck head that he is tells me I need to deal with this tonight. What can I do tonight? I called him and left a voice mail and now he calls me again after I tell him I am going out to dinner with my family. Like I am not to have a life because he doesn't have one either. He is a loser who drove his wife to insanity.

Oh my god, I am losing my sanity.

Emotions

2005-05-17T17:51:00.000-07:00

I'm reading a great book called "Writing For Emotional Release" by Beth Jacobs Ph.D.

It's a book that helps people deal with emotion management; an area I need help in, thus this blog. I've noticed that since I've started writing this blog that I feel calmer and more able to deal with stress. Coincidence? I think not.

This book discusses the sets of skills needed to manage emotions; such as distance, define, release, refocus, organize, regroup and maintain.

Affect dysregulation are disruptions caused by unbalanced feelings. Unbalanced feelings come from emotions that are not clear, coherant or conscience.

I can tell this book is going to help me already.

Today it rained, again. I am so sick of the rain. It's turning our little corner of the world into a big mush pile. In case you decide to look at my profile and see that I reside in "Springfield, Ohio" please note that I don't live there. My profile, along with my city and state are ficticious. All this to protect the innocent and free the enemy (my work).

In case I haven't told you lately, I hate my boss.

See ya soon
Auds

Have you ever read a BLOG?

2005-05-17T01:34:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I have extra time at night I cruise the blogs to see what other people write.

A lot of them are pretty interesting and some are just stupid. Really stupid.

Here is a guy with a great idea and it's definately something that gets your attention.

PostSecret

Check out the postcard from the guy or girl who claims that since 9/11, everyone they know thinks they are dead!? OH MY GOD!

It's late and I'm tired and I'm going to bed.

Nighty nite

Auds

Are you Desperate?

2005-05-16T00:47:00.000-07:00

I am a total Desperate Housewives fan. I love the show and look forward (who looks forward??) to Sundays just so I can watch the show. I make sure this show is on my TIVO list just in case I miss it like I did tonight.

I also love to watch military shows like JAG and now NCIS since JAG was cancelled. Believe it or not my favorite character in NCIS is Dinozzio (my spelling is probably off - sorry). I think Tony would be fun to work with. At least it would keep it interesting.

Another show I am totally hot for is 24! Wow! What show can keep you panting for a whole week until a new episode comes out. In case you haven't figured it out... check out the name of this blog and think of a character in this season's show... wow- what a coincidence...NOT!

Speaking of work - another week of doing absolutely nothing. Why? Because the company I work for doesn't have a "commander-in-chief" that knows what he is doing. He's not even a salesman, like some employees believe. This company is sinking fast, going down. I need to re-fresh my resume, quick! I plan on working on my scrapbooking and also my homework. Oh joy!

Who thinks Kirstie really only weighs 170 pounds now? According to recent photographs and reports; she has lost a total of 30 pounds bringing her down to around 170. I know women who weigh 170 and she is no where near that. I'd say she is more 200 or 210. This is my opinion of course.

Gotta run...

Coach!

2005-05-14T21:19:00.000-07:00

Yay, just got another Coach purse. If there is one thing that I like; it's Coach. Every girl has their favorite designer. My favorite designer is Coach. The bags are made very well and the designs are simply fabulous. What's unique is that you can look online at their website and then go one of their stores and still not see the same bags. It's like you might find a unique bag just by going to the store. Kind of hard to explain.

I'm also a Gap girl too. I would spend every dime I have on Gap. I love their jeans and their tops are very fashionable.

I feel pretty tired tonight. I'm not sure if it is from my homework (besides working full time and being a full time parent; I'm also a part time student). I'm just worn out. I need a good day off from life. But, as everyone knows, that doesn't happen.

Boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy - reminds me of that line from Working Girl. Melanie Griffith is licking her lips while looking seductively at Harrison Ford. Can you tell I am a movie-a-holic?? I am. I love movies, music and books.

My favorite band is Matchbox Twenty. Absolutely in love with Rob Thomas. The lyrics to his song hit home in a way they haven't hit before. My favorite song is Push. I love to turn it up loud and listen to it with my eyes closed. Sweet.

'Night everyone...

Auds-

Spanglish

2005-05-13T22:56:00.000-07:00

Watched Spanglish tonight. It was a movie that I didn't think I would like, but it actually surprised me. Adam Sandler was excellent in it, but Tea Leoni's character drove me up the wall. Anyone who would treat their daughter like that needs to be shot.

Speaking of needing to be shot, what is up with all these kids, specifically girls, getting kidnapped and killed. 2 girls last week were kidnapped by the girls father and were murdered by stabbing from a knife. Not just one stab, but several. My question is why? Why do we not value our youth?

This is why I don't let my daughter walk anywhere without an adult. I'm so afraid for her. She is a beautiful young girl that gets a lot of attention with her blonde hair and that is why I keep my eye on her.

I wish safety on the world's children.

Auds-

2005-05-12T20:17:00.000-07:00

Me!

On a scale of 1 to 10...

2005-05-12T19:52:00.000-07:00

today was a 1.

Just because I have learned information that means the company I work for is going down. That means I need to find a new job. Something I am not really wanting to do now. I have a great job. Here's why:

1. I work from home.
2. I can take breaks during the day and not have someone breathe down my neck.
3. I don't have to commute.
4. I get a decent paycheck, when I get a paycheck.

Some people are telling me to get my resume together while others (like my husband) tell me to wait it out. Wow the choices are just so... appealing!

Now I know why so many people have blogs. It's cheap therapy. Getting off your chest what bothers you to people who listen or maybe they don't listen. Whatever. It helps and it's cheap.

Gotta run, sure I'll have more tomorrow. The soap opera continues.

2005-05-12T09:25:00.000-07:00

Me on a beach...

2005-05-12T09:13:00.000-07:00

I like this picture. I wish it was me now, on a beach doin nothing... Gee kind of like Renee Zellweger...

I'm leaving on a jet plane...

2005-05-12T09:08:00.000-07:00

For some odd reason I have that song going through my head for the last few days. I sing it to whoever will listen to me. Sometimes the dog. Or out in the backyard.

To be honest I'm scared to fly. More on that later.

I hate allergies. Allergies is what you get when you love the outdoors. Unfortunately my body doesn't.

Work was fun today - so far. No one showed up for our conference call. I just love when that happens. Well you are unimportant show we won't call and tell you it's cancelled, you can just sit there and think about paint peeling while we go on about our business. sigh.

More later.

I'm tired...

2005-05-12T01:45:00.000-07:00

I'd really like to figure out blogs because I think this will help me figure out my issues and deal with life on a daily basis.

I really want to hear what YOU have to say too. So write to me and let me know what YOU think.

What Now... Part Deux

2005-05-12T00:29:00.000-07:00

Well now that we have the profile taken care of we can chat freely.

Let's see, I relate my relationship with my boss as the same relationship that Sydney has with Sloane... any hints of who I am talking about now? Yes, you are correct - Alias. My boss is the biggest brain-dead jerk in the entire business world.

Let's make a list - shall we?

1. Likes to give away the company. If our products costs us a $100, he'll give it away for $1! What a deal!

2. Like to assign a project to a person. Checks email 5 minutes later and doesn't see results yet (Geez the project was just assigned, give the person a chance to get back to their desk). Checks email again in 5minutes, then calls the next employee over and assigns the same project to that employee. Repeat email check, if no results in 10 minutes from either employee, repeats process. This is continual until either the entire company is working on one mindless stupid project or until someone breaks the email chains and says something stupid.

3. Makes catty remarks to employees about their attitude, when their attitude was fine to begin with.

4. Borders sexual harrassment. Like to insinuate to company that he's having sex with so and so, even though it's the farthest from the truth and no one can see themselves having sex with a rat like him.

5. When you have an honest complaint, he tries to steer the conversation away from the complaint while totally boggling your mind with endless facts about the company years ago. Sounds like his alzheimers is talking again.

6. When bored, likes to play with people's salary to make it harder for them to earn money. Especially commissioned folks. Feel sorry for them.

7. When really really bored, likes to screw with company finances to make sure that no one expresses any interest in buying company. Most investors would have luck playing the slots than buying this hunk of junk.

Am I being too kind? Maybe I can try harder to find more crap about "Sloane". If the name fits, why not wear it?

Ta ta for now people.

Audrey

What now!!??

2005-05-12T00:27:00.000-07:00

It's one of those nights. You know - the type of night where you should have gone to bed hours ago, but you find yourself just itchin' to take on a project or do something. But it's late - you're feeling kind of lazy and just not sure what you should be doing. Tonight is one of those nights. Plus I had a double shot carmel latte, so I am feeling no pain.

I've always wanted a blog. But in the back of my mind I've felt that people who can read my mind or thoughts will use them against me. Or maybe I will say something that someone I know will find offensive. But you know what? This is my space and I can say what I want. So there.

My work sucks. And so I am told by others that this goes on in corporate America everywhere. So I am guessing the U.S. is really screwed up if all companies within our border operate like the company I work for operates. Really, I need to double check my profile before I start slamming the company that pathetically pays me a salary every month. Oh, if my company and phone could talk they would write a best seller that would stun the world. The company I work for is that screwed up.

Ok, hang on, gotta check that profile. Want to stay anonymous to keep that pathetic paycheck.