Augmented Metal Reality

2011-11-17T06:02:00.000-08:00

DON'T FUCK WITH THE INTERNET

Way Too Fucking Long...

2011-10-27T12:53:00.000-07:00

It's a busy life, the life of a rockstar. Sitting at home, watching entire seasons of TV shows while gorging on Skittles and drinking tea like a chump. Realizing that I have been rather lax in my updating of this, I've decided to make an enormous post chock full of mediocre content. Where to begin?

Perhaps I can spotlight some new bands I've been jamming out first.

Mechina. Fast, technical, brutally groovy. I've been really wearing out my eardrums with these guys. Can you tell why? It sounds like the spawn of Fear Factory and Mnemic. And that is a fantastically awesome thing. These guys need the exposure, being as talented as they are.

Breach The Void! Mechanically charged mathematical metal that brings the groove. So much alliteration. Alliteration erection. It took me a few times to get into these guys, the singer threw me off at first but I gave them a few chances and they grew on me pretty quickly.

Threat Signals new album really blew my fucking mind. I did not expect to hear the intensity that I heard from this album. I now get a Job For A Cowboy feeling coming from these guys. It's a fresh new look on these guys, not that I didn't like them before, but I like this direction that the music is taking.

So in my absence, Machine Heads newest album made its way to the masses. I was, and still am, reeling over the absolute bomb that Morbid Angels new album was, so I had to work up some courage to listen to another enormously popular band who I respect too much to see become pure hacks and garbage. I mustered up the strength to listen and I was more than thrilled to hear everything I love in Machine Head. This album is a 9.5 out of 10, without question. The songs have decreased in length slightly, and the songs have become more condensed and less droning, I think it's the perfect mix. This is my favorite track off of the album right now. There's this version, and then there's an equally stunning and beautiful acoustic version of the song that I'm also really loving. I love every song on the album, "Who We Are", "This is The End", and "I Am Hell" are my favorites besides this song. Do yourself a favor and check this album out. It's amazing.

Hackneyed. Traditional death metal, fantastically executed. I would call this "Vanilla Death Metal", because it's not progressive or especially unique, but it's just quality. I love this album. Oh also everyone in the band is really young.

Fuckin' hell, people. If you like Cloudkicker, Chimp Spanner, Tyrant of Death, or the Levi/Werstler combination, then you'll love this. Instrumental progressive guitar mastery executed perfectly. This is some great metal, mathy and melodic. This track especially just hits me hard. Enjoy.

Devolved - great technical death metal. As simple as I can get. Brutal, groovy, angry. The guy could use some variation in his voice but that small con aside, this is a good album.

Detonation - Technical death metal that brings the pain. Pretty obscure for some reason, these guys should be pretty popular with this kind of music.

Exeloume. When I saw the cover I expected a cheesy 80's thrash garbage album and was pleasantly surprised at the ferocity and anger that came through my speakers.

So now I have some new stuff from the AMR Corner:

Untitled Track by Visceral Creations

Redneck - Vocal Cover by Visceral Creations

Shrine of The Ancient Ones by Visceral Creations

Empty Inside by Visceral Creations

Long Time No Seethe

2011-06-09T21:41:00.000-07:00

Well it's been entirely too long since I've updated this. Lots of things going on with the band and stupid graphic design. To some degree, I forgot about blogging about metal because, quite frankly, nothing's happened in metal news to merit me blogging about it. Well, nothing significant. That changed last week when I...mysteriously happened upon a copy of Morbid Angel's newest release. I heard it once all the way through, and one of the only thoughts in my head was "I can't wait to ream the shit out of this on Blogger."

Well here we go.

Morbid Angel.

Anyone who knows even the most minuscule fraction about metal, has at least heard of Morbid Angel, if not, have heard one of their tracks. Needless to say, they've cemented their position in the metal world forever, and ushered in a new generation of brutal technicality, grim, H.P. Lovecraft inspired lyrics amid trippy guitar solos over crushing drums. 'Altars of Madness' changed the game, 'Blessed are The Sick' further improved upon the volatile formula, finally 'Covenant' made it into a sickening black entity. Then 'Domination' reared its head. The magical concoction had been altered, not negatively, mind you. Generally, people liked and or loved Domination (myself being one of the people who genuinely loved it).

Domination. Morbid Angel had decided to tinker with the critically acclaimed sound that Altars, Blessed, and Covenant had so eloquently solidified a sound that many future generations of bands tried (and failed) to replicate. It was industrialized just enough to keep it fresh, but not enough to drive dedicated fans away. The songs were brutal, sludgy, and dark. Included among these smashing tracks were quirky instrumental pieces that added an odd aura to the album. It is here that David Vincent decides to leave the band, in order to pursue what I can only assume what was a miscalculated assumption of the wealth of profits of his wife's techno-garbage Genitorturers failed to yield.

Time goes on. Steve Tucker gets behind the vocal wheel and everything seems to work out swimmingly.

Formulas Fatal To The Flesh, Gateways To Annihilation and Heretic all see their way to the public, and are all almost universally praised by critics. All of these albums offer up distinct sounds and styles. Each one accentuates a different Morbid Angel style, and all of them being memorable and easily discernible from the others.

Well the Morbid Angel trains seems to slow down after Heretic. Nothing is heard from them, it's quiet in the camp. And after a reasonable amount of time, people begin to anticipate a new Morbid album 'any day now'. I remember I myself had fallen victim to one of the rumors in 2006. About an hour before leaving to go see Iron Maiden, I was informed that Morbid Angel were hard at work, crafting a sickening, evil new album that I anticipated would be even more skull dust-ifying than the others. For about two weeks I churned and prepared for the day when I would hear new Morbid Angel. Sadly, that day passed. Needless to say, seven years later, they've finally put out an album of new material.

So what do we have? The return of David Vincent. Also, the unfortunate departure (he's not dead, just recovering from back surgery) of Pete "The Feet" Sandoval, and a new album to reawaken all of the fans from their seemingly endless slumber. Christ almighty, this is a rude awakening.

Illud Divinum Insanus. What can I say? Close to an entire hour of shit-club horseshit. Half of the album would be pretty good if it weren't horribly outweighed by the atrocious counterpart. The opening track reeks of teenage computer angst, and a failed attempt to create a pounding dance masterpiece that falls flat on it's face and small genitals. Seriously, I could have made that first track in 15 minutes in FL Studios and Audacity. My first listen was not a pretty one. I recall during this track, frantically re-assuring myself that the album could NOT be like this to the end. I was right, of course. The album was not like that. "Existo Vulgore" was a song I had heard before the albums release. I kind of liked it, knew what it was about, so I skipped it and moved on to "Blades for Baal". A showcase for Tim Yeung (who I think is an extremely competent drummer). The song is okay. It sounds like Morbid Angel but not quite as... Morbidly Angelic? I like it but at the time, I'm still reeling from "Too Extreme!" to even initially appreciate the goodness that "Blades for Baal" has to offer.

I move on to "I Am Morbid" which opens up with an audience chanting what I think is 'morbid' before some good drumming and heavy guitar follow. The song kind of dies out on me and I move on to "10 More Dead". The song is Morbid Angel how I remember them. Good. Then I'm treated with "Destructos Vs. The Earth/Attack". The most aggravating song on the album, to be honest. It goes on much too long for how boring and cheesy it is. The lyrics fire off a salvo of douche chill artillery from my brain stem all the way down to my asshole for a whole 7 minutes and fifteen seconds of almost unbearable rubbish. I sit through all of it to really soak it in. "Nevemore" is next, a song I've also heard prior to the release. It's good song, but nothing special. "Beauty Meets Beast" is also another song that just falls to the wayside as far as memorability goes. Then my personal 'favorite-song-that's-not-my-favorite-but-I-say-it-is-so-I-can-play-it-and-annoy-my-friends" song. "Radikult". At this point I'm laughing. There is no other explanation for this. This album has got to be a practical joke of some form. I'm too far gone to care about the last track to write about it. I've probably heard half of it once.

Point? I've been double crossed. Backstabbed. The victim of treachery of the highest capacity. The gods of death metal have turned their shoulder towards their fans in favor of club metal hits. I've not given up on them though. Many bands have put out a shit album and come back ten times stronger than before. Fear Factory, Testament, Machine Head, all have made triumphant resurrections, and I hope to Cthulhu that Morbid Angel does likewise. Who could forget "Where The Slime Live", or "Chambers of Dis", or "Maze of Torment", or "Blessed Are The Sick/Leading The Rats"? I didn't. Sure, this is a mountain in the road of Morbid Angel, but I'll survive. I just hope that they come back stronger than this.

In the meantime, check this out:
http://morbidfails.tumblr.com/

Illud Divinum Insanus

2011-03-31T15:43:00.000-07:00

Illud Divinum Insanus - The LP, out June 7th

"Nevermore" EP album cover, out May 16th

I am speechless. I'm so ready for this, you don't even understand. I hear that there's a Combichrist remix in the works too. To give you a hint as to how the album might sound and the possible influences, Try had this to say:

"I listen to a lot of hardcore [techno] music now — the fuckin' serious, artistic stuff, not that crap you hear at the clubs. That stuff has impact and it's really extreme. Even if there's no guitar in it or no real drums, the energy coming out of the speakers is amazing."

Hence Combichrist.

I am so ready...

Sweet.

2011-03-31T15:08:00.000-07:00

The Haunted, In Flames, Dimension Zero, and Grave? I dunno...
What do all of these bands have in common?

I love The Haunted...? Yeah I do. As long as it's before they switched off singers. I'll be honest, I like a few of the tracks off of their albums afterwards but nothing compares to the first self titled album. Ahh damn is that a great album...

So anyway, everyone knows In Flames lost what amounts to the In Flames portion of the band. Jesper Stromblad. Alcoholic and such yadda yadda...

What happens when you combine all of these elements together? Well you would have an awesome sounding supergroup. I'm eagerly awaiting this debut..."The Resistance"

Marco Aro from The Haunted is singing, Jesper from Dimension Zero/In Flames is on the guitar, Glenn Ljungstrom from Dimension Zero is also on guitar, Alex Holstad from Cardinal Sin/Despite/Decameron is playing bass, and Chris Barkensjo from Godsic/ /Grave/Carnal Forge fame is playing the drums. This could lead up to be an exceptionally melodic band. I anticipate awesomeness. Let's hope it doesn't fall flat on it's goddamned face.

aaaAAAAARRREEE YOU READY???

2011-03-31T14:37:00.000-07:00

Ahhh Korn. Come on guys, would you stop being assholes and go back to 1994 when you were relevant, not to mention, awesome. I'll admit. In between bouts of Dying Fetus and Carcass, I love to throw on Korn and jam out with Tripp pants and painted fingernails. Okay, maybe not that far, but Korn for me represents one of the gateways into harder metal. I was a big fan all the way up to "Take a Look In The Mirror" (Which is extremely underrated. That album is heavy as shit). But now they've posted a short clip of their dubstep skills, which leave something to be desired. A lot.

Get Up by kornofficial

Bummer.

Artist Spotlight: Sideblast -- Cocoon

2011-03-14T13:17:00.000-07:00

Right on the heels of yesterdays A.S. post featuring Kalter, I discover the band "Sideblast". Their unique blend of groove, death, black, symphonic, and industrial metal have put this directly at the top of my playlist for the next few days. They've got a distinct sound, especially with a few of the tracks being EXTREMELY reminiscent of Strapping Young Lad, with the 'wall of sound' mentality that made them a force to be reckoned with. Plenty of oddball background noises to keep you entertained.

2011-03-13T08:02:00.000-07:00

I saw this on EFukt some time ago with a bunch of my idiot friends. I was beyond high when I laid eyes on it. At first I couldn't quite comprehend what I was seeing, as I was in a haze so thick, Cheech and Chong would have been fearful for their lives. On my second view, I geeked the fuck out so hard, I was unable to breathe for close to 5 minutes. I then ate a whole lasagna and tried to explain to my dope buddies why there should be dildos made of sponge material so that women can insert them into their meat wallets so that they can have standing urinals like dudes, and get a little more enjoyment from their urination experience. Another failed business endeavor that becomes abandoned upon exiting the house of a drug dealer. Anyway, enjoy.

Artist Spotlight: Kalter - Spiritual Angel

2011-03-13T07:22:00.000-07:00

Real-talk, faggot. Melodic death metal is becoming a dead end as far as originality goes. Since the early 90's, every Swede, Norwegian, and Dane has been pumping out ridiculous amounts of melodeath. A decade of nonstop releases that herald to the glory days of In Flames, Dark Tranquillity and At The Gates. It's tough to find bands now that keep your interest, as you've probably seen and heard most of it by now, thanks to the wave of idiot kids who formed gimmick bands instead of musical bands. It's a sad scene, but every once in a while, you come across a band like Canada's own Kalter. These guys get it right. Check out the opening track from their new album "Spiritual Angel" and rejoice for now, as there is still at least one or two good Melodeath bands around.

Also for good measure, here's a picture of a gigantic abdominal puss.

Exit Through The Gift Shop

2011-02-21T16:55:00.000-08:00

Any of you seen this movie? It's...interesting, to say the least. It's a very quirky movie about some french guy who suffers some psychological trauma as a child and begins video taping every portion of his life. It's a great movie, I will say. I was fully enthralled the whole time.

There are SPOILERS ahead. Stop reading if you don't want to know. Even though there's not much to spoil. He was dead the whole time.

The plot of Exit Through The Gift Shop :

So I don't know what to tell you. Go see it for yourself instead of torturing yourself with the latest "Rom-Com".

Over-and-out, precious tits.

Check out music from Fun In The Morgue

2011-01-26T18:47:00.001-08:00

Mashuggah

2011-01-22T23:39:00.000-08:00

Youtube is one of those hit or miss things for me. Either what I see on there is very funny or very dumb. Sometimes a combination of both, but sometimes it brings to light the fact that some people are so awesome when it comes to perception, especially with metal. The fact that he was able to discern the rhythms and syncopate them with the song, godlike. This video is a perfect example of such events where Youtube is neither funny, nor dumb, but instead, awe inspiring.

My Album Out Now

2011-01-18T10:31:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, I figured I'd let you know about my bands debut album: "Fun In The Morgue". You can buy the album here.

Ten tracks of thrashy death brutality. Go for it. Support local underground metal.

Here are our homes on the internet:

Facebook
Bandcamp
iLike

Parrghate Metal.

2011-01-17T12:59:00.000-08:00

Niche metal is one of the new things to check out. Pirate Metal is no different. And I actually like it. There some sort of realistic relationship between pirates and metal. Though I think Pirate metal is just Power Metal with a recurring theme beyond trolls and wizardry. But I would even go as far to say that Pirates were the original metalheads. Ugly, hairy, violent drunks.

Anyway, check out some Swashbuckle.

17 Gigapixels of Lesbians.

2011-01-12T11:50:00.001-08:00

Fuck. Imagine porno filmed with this shit.

17 Gigapixel Photo of Glacier Point - Watch more Funny Videos

Black Metal Beer

2011-01-12T10:00:00.000-08:00

Boy, that whole folk-black-barefoot-woodsman style of music is taking off. You can thank Korpiklaani, Ensiferum and Finntroll for things like this:

Note that this Imperial Stout was serenaded
during formation with Black Metal as well. Awesome.

I like the idea. Metal has achieved some great things under the influence of beer. I'm anticipating the release of the "Death Metal Rum", "Industrial Metal Absinthe" and "Pornogrind Daiquiris".

I Stink

2011-01-08T19:23:00.000-08:00

There are some good things and bad things about being an artist whose primary focus is on things of...darker ilk. For example, people who lack such skills can easily be swooned with a very cheap piece of work you may have thrown together in a matter of minutes. Art that exists in this fantasy world is, in a sense, easier to do because you do not have to follow a direct guideline, as it is 'fantasy'. A tree can be very oddball looking, and still be considered art. (Though I do not defend the people who splash paint on a canvas, spear it around and call it a masterpiece. That is not art).

But there are cons to this as well. Especially being a fan of death metal, you notice that many album covers are starting to become more and more intense, dark and just cool. As of now there is a new artist who I look up to and admire very much. So much so that it makes me rather discouraged in my own endeavors.

The guy is Justin Bartlett. Just a beast. He seems to be centered in the black metal scene. And for good reason. Every piece of his evokes some sort of evil thoughts in my head. This picture, for example, pretty much embodies black metal in its entirety (except for the previously mentioned Christian Black Metal, or better referenced as "White Metal")

That is just ultrasick. How do you handle that? You don't. It's going to be rape-faced until you turn away, and then you're going to keep thinking about it.

Here is his website. Where he shows that he is in fact just to awesome. I should stop now.

There's an Invadjent.

2011-01-06T01:50:00.000-08:00

All right so most people who keep up with metal have noticed the influx of 'djent'. Atmospheric, mathematical, and very low tuned guitars. The term 'djent' is actually derived from the sound that the guitar makes when playing the lower notes. The more you know, right?

Well I can see that it's becoming a phenomenon in the metal community, so much so, that it's taking the same route that pig squeals and breakdowns did. Now everybody is going to dive for djent, crack their heads against each other and beat it into the ground until it's unlistenable. You'll inevitably come across 'djent offshoots'. Country Djent. J-Djent, and Djent-abilly.

I'm sad to admit that I like this music, as I am mostly against 'flavor of the month' bands. But I've come to enjoy such bands as "Vildhjarta", "TesseracT" (Their early demo/EP, mostly. Before the gay ass singer they have now), The Interbeing. The list can go on. (Click here for a djent-oriented website. Fijnd your own bands.)

I've even gone as far as to post some djent metal on this very blog. Cloudkicker has made multiple appearances, so has Synthetic Breed (although they're not so much djent as they are just mathy).

One of my favorite djent bands right now is 'Chimp Spanner'. More instrumental music that comes loaded with atmosphere and synths. 'Chimp Spanner' have an odd happiness that accompanies the music, certain upbeat qualities that sort of uplift. I can tell that soon, metal is going to become uptempo and chock full of happy lyrics proclaiming of their love of life. You laugh now, but 10 years ago, would you think that there would be CHRISTIAN BLACK METAL????

Yeah. Shit, I remember when I was stunned that religious death metal existed. God damn it, are these assholes FUCKING with me?

So back to djent.

Periphery is an example of djent that is already tipping the scales and making me dislike it. In metal, there are two things to pay attention to. Technicality, and talent. Most of the bands out there that the kids like are bands that exemplify overwhelming ability, but it's only in their capacity to do sweeps and hammer on-pull offs. There's no music, it's essentially a soliloquy, showcasing 'how good our guitarist is'.

Talent means making music. Being able to write enjoyable pieces that go beyond sweeps and scales. A good example of this kind of combination is Eyal and Emil from Daath. They are both amazingly talented musicians and guitar players. What they play is difficult, but it's also extremely enjoyable to listen to as music. I read an article back when Daath released "The Hinderers", explaining the complexity of metal and classical music, and, though not very well understood by most people, the fundamental similarities shared between the two.

"Within such musical families, it may be common to find members pursuing different genres and styles, especially if they've been separated by a generation of musical and cultural influence. However, it's hardly commonplace for a house to hold both a world-class maestro and a guitar-slinging metal warrior. After all, even though extreme metal – which often boasts virtuosic musicians, linear song structures and atypical rhythms – is the rock subgenre that Eyal finds "the most similar to classical music," the two genres couldn't sound further apart to the untrained ear."

To get a grasp on this, check out the rest of the article written about Eyal and his father Voel here.

Continuing.

Another band that flawlessly performs this intermingling of factors are the legendary "Cynic".
If you want to see how musically inclined he is, read this this article concerning birds. Amazing.

So in closing, I see djent becoming a huge thing in metal in the next three or four years, but then killing itself shortly after. Who didn't learn how to do pig squeals when they heard Job For A Cowboy? Now there's bands where that's ALL the singer does. I was still in high school at the time, and every 20 seconds, you'd hear a gurgle here...gurgle there. I could tell that it was already, in it's infancy, a dying trend. Because all the scene/emo kids were doing it.

I'm a prophet, I tell you. True metal is left at the bottom to seethe and loathe everything that modern music has to offer to the world, which is very little to begin with. It is time to change metal world, to forever redefine what it means to be metal, and I can't do that unless I assemble the best possible team at my disposal to forge the sonic landscapes and convey the truth of metal. The people must realize that there is more to music than crouching and wearing girl pants while you play wretched guitar. There is more to metal than terrible singing and uncreative, cliche lyrics. The very foundations of metal music will be shaken, and all genres of music that amount to nothing will look up and see the monster that I will birth. A grand exordium, and into this universe I shall spawn a musical style that is unparalleled, unequaled, and unstoppable. The emo empire will topple before me, the indie influx shall be shattered in my wake, all 'cores' will fall. I will scour through the music world, and what will be left is nothing but the scorched, charred carcasses of the old, unlistenable garbage that modern society eats up. I will cleanse mankind of this terrible inundation of sonic feces and in it's place, I will build a grand monolith, the symbolic representation of metal in it's purest form. My reign will pulse through the earth, the echoic flood of metal that will twist and distort, reform and re-imagine. All that comes in contact with it shall mutate and re-assemble itself. Unbiased and unwavering. Blackened and heavy, a matter so heavy, it shall never be moved. It's foundations buried firmly in the skeletal remains of what I shall exterminate in my crusade, and nothing shall stand in my way.

I leave you with sounds of 'Chimp Spanner'.

I saw...I came...I saw...I Came Again...

2011-01-02T15:49:00.000-08:00

I didn't realize that this had been out for a while. Even if it is from August...it's fucking bad goddamned ass.

I have ALWAYS been a fan of the Ace Combat series. When they did an XBOX360 restricted release, I was pissed. But this looks like it will make up for it.

Top 20 Of 2010

2010-12-31T00:04:00.000-08:00

So 2010 has been a relatively good year as far as metal music is concerned. Lots of good metal worth checking out. Plenty of great debuts, awesome returns and tear jerking breakups. The underground continues to blossom as metal becomes a mainstream sensation. I can only foresee bad things from that though. All truly legendary metal has been released, perhaps not so much as an underground entity, but as an unknown entity. Carcass? Nile? Testament? The list could very well span a few miles...and I suppose this is the evolution of metal, and no matter how much I wish it would fix itself, I can't see it happening.

Even with this foray into popularity, this year has produced some great headlines, some sad headlines and of course, some what the fuck ones.With it, we've bore witness to such events as...

the Dream Theater vs.
Mike Portnoy saga...

The Fear Factory legal scuffle...

...and the now blossoming
Max Cavalera vs.
Bobby Burns feud.

Shit, the grandfather of metal passed on.
Dio, age 67, was carried to the mountaintop
to be returned to the gods by a dragon.
Or something.

A few others checked out. The Rev, Peter Steele, and Paul Gray (Of Slipknot fame, of which I hate) all decided to kick the bucket.

But when Nergal figured he would do likewise,
he Charlie Brown-ed it. Sort of?
So it doesn't count. Still.
Leukemia.
Where is your god now?
Not in that hospital room.

A lot of other things happened this year worth mentioning as well.

One of my favorite bands, Red Harvest, decided to call it quits. What the fuck guys? this had better be only a step to a great return where I will be singed to ashes with some more ultra-industrial metal.

Also, Blackened death metal titans Zyklon are also throwing in the towel. Oh shit, why do all the good bands have to quit, and all the shitty ones keep pouring out horrifically awful music like The Autumn Offering and The Number Twelve Looks Like You. Oh yeah, they shit the bed too. Well, I suppose every cloud has a silver lining.

Deathcore overlords Despised Icon decided to end their run as well.

I was going to call them deathcore icons but...I couldn't bring myself to it.

Melodeath powerhouse Luna Mortis also ended their run with two albums to their name. Seems a bit like they cut out before they really got into the shit to begin with.

But with these departures, we can welcome back such bands as...

Death look-a-likes Autopsy... ...Voivod... ...and Godflesh

We also got to see a cool tour. The big four. It's been long enough, they decided to man up and devastate some cities. I see this happening again soon. Only after Araya fixes up that pretzel he calls a spine.

The original guitarist for Swedish Melodeath GODS In Flames, Jesper Stromblad also backs out of the band in order to pursue rehabilitation for severe alcoholism. Did anyone watch the "A Sense of Purpose DVD? Shit. Daniel is worse off. Naked Wednesday??

Technical Metal band Textures loses a singer. Damn.

Anthrax takes in Belladonna. Again. Are they starting up a posse? MYPOSSE...MYPOSSE...

Sickeningly talented technical death metal band Arsis acquires a new bassist. Who would be interested when Malone cuts your face off with a harvester on "Forced To Rock"? No one.

Metal grab-bag band Kvelertak debut
with an album that I actually like a lot.

Dark Funeral explodes like an anti-christian bomb,
leaving only Lord Ahriman and Chaq Mol to wade through
the black metal rubble. Three out of five members bail?
Someone's got herp.

With all of this being said, I think it's time I pick my top twenty albums of this year. It was hard to pick who made it to the list and who fell short into the 'honorable mentions' category.

20. Tristwood - Dystopia et Disturbia

Goddamn. I remember when I heard Napalm Death's "Barney" singing, I was slightly frightened. That guys voice is beyond intimidating. It's indescribable and inimitable (believe me, I've tried.) Tristwood is a close second as far as intimidating voiced go. Not only that, but the atmosphere in this album is just downright vile. So much aura, it's overwhelming when the first track finally kicks in and you're enveloped in this blackened death-groove of hate and fear. Tristwood are the last bad I found that made it to this list. I'm glad they did too. That album makes me shiver with pleasant contempt.

19. Obsidian - Point of Infinity

I have no idea who these guys are, where they came from, but this album really impressed me. I've been listening to the first 4 or 5 tracks for a while. They could really turn out to be a great, popular band in 2011.

18. Ungrace - Hostile Revival

An, more unknowns, again. This is definitely a band that has set up their tent in "Fear Factory Camp". Great heavy riffs, great choruses, plenty of headbanging. The singer has an odd voice. I like it though.

17. Aeon - Path of Fire

Ahh yes. Good death metal that dislikes religion.Well what did you expect? Again, nothing groundbreaking here, just overall good metal. "Of Fire" should be enough of an explanation.

16. Trauma - Archetype of Chaos

Just a great album. I hadn't known about these guys until this album. Upon hearing "The Slime", I immediately purchased all of their albums. No regret.

15. Soreption - Deterioration of Minds

Often compared to Decapitated, Soreption are a very kick-drum oriented band. That drummer is really dealing out some damage on this one. Even though it's by definition, technical death metal, it's still got this unreal groove to it. The first track, sixth track, and eighth track are fine examples of this.

14. Immolation - Majesty and Decay

Legends. Icons. Titans. By name alone, they belong here. But even if this were their debut, it'd be right where it is. Nothing groundbreaking, just an exemplary release by very metal veterans.

13. Fleshgod Apocalypse - Mafia

No explanation here. Brutal Italian Technical Death Metal. Listen to 'Abyssal' and you'll know why it's on here.

12. Son of Aurelius - Myocardial Infarction

Another band who would be ridiculously awesome if they changed their singer. He just does not sit well with me. Even with this disadvantage, the musicianship brings them back on the list. It's quite the technically

11. Crionics - Noir

TWO EP'S ON A TOP TEN LIST??? ABSURD.

That first track is superb. Crionics threw a curveball on that one. Aside from it being different from what they normally do, it's essentially nothing I haven't heard before. Crionics just executed it extremely well.

10. Synthetic Breed - Perpetual Motion Machine

This album almost didn't make it. The music, spectacular. Technically speaking, it's perfect. Those Australians really bring the shit. (The Amenta, anyone?) The only problem I have with it is the anyeurism they call a singer. I really don't like him, and would rather have the guy they had on "Catatonic" on this album. I'll reveal something to you. In the metal world, I divide singers up into two different categories. Cats, and dogs. Cats have a shrieking, grinding shrill screech to their voice. This singer is a cat. So is the singer for Chimaira and, at times, Lamb of God. Now dogs, on the other hand, are rough, deep, and bellowing. A voice that carries. Examples would be Amon Amarth, Skinless, and another band on the list, Tristwood. Now, onto number 9.

9. The Acacia Strain - Wormwood

This is about as far down the 'Deathcore scale" I can go before I back off. There's just enough intensity here to keep me interested. 'Beast' is, well, a beast. It really brings to light the anger and hate that The Acacia Strain seem to have. Songs like "Bay of Pigs", "BTM FDR", and "The Impaler" are highlights of the album.

8. Arsis - Starve For The Devil

Ahhh. Sweeps and solos abound. Spastic rhythm changes. Powerful songs. Metal that never repeats a verse. Well, a lot of the time, anyway. This album is just well rounded. Lots of examples of great abilities by all members. "Forced To Rock" is one of the best opening tracks to an album EVER. It just gets me pumped.

7. Cloudkicker - Beacons

Noticing the trend yet? A lot of these bands have already made recent posts on AMR. And this is no exception. The guy is a brilliant musician and songwriter. That's right. The GUY. one dude, and he exemplifies talent. Some of the catchiest, djent-iest metal I've ever heard has been labeled "Cloudkicker". Beacons delivers in groove in technicality. And with that, no singing. Oddly enough.

6. Illidiance - Damage Theory

More unknowns. Ultra Cyber Metal. Catchy choruses, powerful drumming techniques and enough peripheral sound effects to spin your hat and fuck your anus. Fans of Fear Factory and Machinae Supremacy would like this album.

5. Misery Index - Heirs to Thievery

God this album kicks the shit out of me every time I listen. Adam Jarvis is a sickening drummer. Everyone in this album knows how to beat your head about, and this album is perfect for any sort of violent activities you may participate in.

4. Levi/Westler - Avalanche of Worms

I normally hate solo albums such as this. No vocals, and a self serving guitarist who wants to show everyone what he's got. (Yngwie? Yeah.) But in this case, I was wrong. It took me about four months to actually listen to it once I got it. And I wish I hadn't waited. This is such a melodic and catchy solo album. I don't even consider it a solo album. It's just...a sonic rollercoaster. Daath gets two places on my list. Deserved places, of course.

3. Noctiferia - Death Culture

No one knows these guys. And that is a sin. Noctiferia know how to destroy. And with this album, they do so. They definitely have aspects reminiscent of Fear Factory, as shown with such tracks as "Demoncracy" and "Slavedriver". This is definitely an impressive album, even though this is the bands...fifth? They've got a few under their belt. They used to do black metal. I dunno. Whatever happened, I like it.

2. Daath - Daath

These guys get it. Fast, unrelenting, and they've managed to capture a more than eerie tone with their music, specifically the ambient background sounds. If anyone has ever seen Salad Fingers, the ambient noise in those animations remind me heavily of Daath. This is all around beautifully executed metal music.

Now...number one...

1. Fear Factory - Mechanize

Hate all you want. It's number one. It's got everything metal needs. Intense drumming, enormously heavy guitar riffs, pounding effects, and of course, enough groove to make any head crushing you may partake in, a little more rhythmic. This album signifies an enormous comeback from that abortion they called "Transgression". This is how Fear Factory should always be. Make all the fat jokes you want. They are the best and absolutely deserve this spot. The title track alone has more than seven times more plays on my media player than the next BAND that follows up. Which was Daath.

And now with the honorable mentions...in no particular order.

Bloodspawn - Bring The Suffering

Underground death metal. Just quality. Good tunes.

Dawn of Ashes - Genocide Chapters

Took me a few tries to like this, but by god, I got into them. The singer has a very recognizable voice.

Inherit Disease - Visceral Transcendance

Fucking lunacy.

Dawn of Demise - A Force Unstoppable

Traditional death metal in the vein of Cannibal Corpse.

Dimmu Borgir - Abrahadabra

Symphonic chaos. I at first hated Gateways, but then it grew on me. That girl singer in the video looks like a 3rd grade teacher.

The Body - All The Waters of The Earth Shall Turn To Blood

Ever hear of Sun0)))? Ever hear of Khylst? Not that far off. This band is creepy. Lots of ambient stuff to pick up on multiple listens.

Anno Domini - Atrocities

As generic as this band is, they still pull of listenable music that doesn't seem to copy too much bands of it's generation.

System Divide - The Conscious Sedation

I was taken aback when I heard the extremely-extremely ultra hot girl singer take over on the chorus. The musicianship is also awe inspiring. I want that drummer in my band.

So I guess that's it for now. I'm sure we can look forward to plenty of new metal in the coming year. To name a few, Morbid Angel, In Flames, Testament, Carnal Forge, Machine Head, Devildriver. Have a drink to the new year. Get slammed.

I'm Going Caroling.

2010-12-24T02:04:00.000-08:00

Fuck it, it's the holidays. You might as well drink and listen to this shit until you're dead,

Even though the next song is a joke band, whoever sang on it isn't half bad. Coming from a master death metal singer such as myself, that means a lot.

See more funny videos and TBT at Todays Big Thing.

I don't need to explain this next video, at all.

EMBED-Christmas With Gwar - Watch more free videos

AMR Shirt added

2010-12-23T06:41:00.000-08:00

Are you all ready to be fashionable, styling, and all around sexually magnetic, not unlike the silent call to a woman from a pair of shoes or a kitchen?

Then prepare your anuses...

So I've been working on some AMR merch. For now, this is the only available shirts. I suppose with more viewers, there will be more demand for more styles. Until then, go suck a leprous prick.

It's The Cockpuss Holidays

2010-12-23T05:07:00.000-08:00

This video is in the midst of going semi viral on YouTube. It's creepy in many aspects, not to mention funny. And for some reason, it gets stuck in my head. Along with another video that I'm thinking about holding back on for a little bit.

Just in case you were wondering what this Caribbean trans-gendered mutant was saying, he/she was kind enough to include with his/her video the lyrics to this song.

This is a vagina (pussy) awareness public service announcement; this is one of the songs that I have written. I hope that you enjoy listening to it.

Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, oh,

Vagina, vagina, eh

Christmas pussy, pussy

Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, oh,

Vagina, vagina, eh

Christmas jiggy, jiggy

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy,

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy,

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy

Father Christmas, lover boy!

Come over here, give me your dick

Dip it in, in my cunt,

Dip it in, in my cunt

Father Christmas, lover boy!

Dip your dicky in my cunt

Dip your dicky in my cunt

Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, oh

Vagina, vagina, eh

Christmas pussy, pussy

Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, oh

Vagina, vagina, eh

Christmas jiggy, jiggy

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy,

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy,

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy,

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy,

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy

Father Christmas fuck my pussy, fuck, fuck my pussy

This is Christmas,

We gonna have lots of sex

This is Christmas,

We gonna have lots of sex

This is Christmas,

We gonna have lots of sex

This is Christmas,

We gonna have lots of sex

Father Christmas, lover boy!

I'm here, I'm over here

Dip your penis in my pussy,

Dip your penis in my pussy,

Dip your penis in my pussy

Father Christmas, lover boy!

Cool!

You Spilled My Coffee...

2010-12-23T04:44:00.000-08:00

You fucking BITCH!!

Morbid Angel. Waiting.

2010-12-12T14:33:00.000-08:00

If you're not giddy for Morbid Angel, you're a communist fucker. Okay, you're not that good.

Point is, I'm getting fed up with waiting for Morbid Angel. Eight years to make a new album. I'm sure they're busy being badasses and reading the Necronomicon among other grimoire. Don't get me wrong, I'm not rushing them, asking...no, demanding the new album now, but I've been recently on a Morbid Angel habit that I refuse to kick. People didn't care much for Heretic. I fucking LOVED it. Who is not banging their heads to "Enshrined By Grace"? "Beneath The Hollow"? "God of Our Own Divinity"?? Exactly. You loved it. Same with every other album they've churned out. Formulas Fatal To The Flesh? Yes. "Invocation of The Continual One". Need I say more? I need not.

Now let's not be shitheads here. Some bands have followed up great albums with shitty albums, in around a year.

FEAR FACTORY - TRANSGRESSION

Fear Factory. One of, if not, my FAVORITE band ever. This album almost made me cry.

I only liked one song from the original release. "540,000 Degrees Fahrenheit" has a great chorus. The rest of the album is a damn shame. If this album had not been released as a Fear Factory album, I would like it more. "Archetype" was so good, but this was just a total bummer.

A Killing Joke cover? A U2 cover?? They couldn't at least go the distance and be brutal with both tracks? They actually tried to recreate them.

SCAR SYMMETRY - DARK MATTER DIMENSIONS

One indication of a good vocalist is when you leave your band, they have to replace you with two people and then pump out a pile of garbage. It's like totally owning one of your friends, and then they shit their pants.

Two singers. Next thing you know, they'll be rapping on stage. Christian now looks so much better now that this has happened. Now that they see what he was worth and what he meant to that band. Now he's off with "Solution .45", "Miseration", "The Few Against Many", and I'm sure plenty of other up and coming stuff.

SEPULTURA - AGAINST

Max Cavalera is an iconic figure of metal. The second he left, Sepultura just tailspinned into what I consider to be one of the saddest deaths of metal. People hated "Roots". I don't get why. Tribal metal. Come on folks. Quit being asshats.

The only redeeming quality for this band is that the new singer they got is from my area. Thankfully Igor came to his senses and formed Cavalera Conspiracy. Now that's top shelf stuff, my friends.

IN FLAMES - A SENSE OF PURPOSE

This is one of the more recent events in metal where you watch a band make their first foray into mainstream metal. Metal for everyone. Come Clarity was on the edge, but there were some great songs on that album that kept it from doing what this album did. Nothing.

No one will (or should) forget "Whoracle", "Clayman", "Colony" and, "Soundtrack". In Flames has, generally, been consistent with good records. Let's hope the new album sans-Jesper will bring them back to where they belong. I don't expect this though, Jesper is really what gave In Flames that Gothenburg sound.

I suppose in light of these atrocities, I would trade off quicker releases for quality releases. It's a shame you can't have both. Anyway, I anticipate greatly, the return of Morbid Angel and expect nothing less than the best. They've yet to disappoint.

Fucking badass...