This theme has been coming up recently and I was mulling over different ideas in my head…

Then, out of nowhere, I heard these lyrics. Yes, I was playing the radio, but I have it on as background and certainly don’t listen to the lyrics…

But I did. And I realised why…

“You’ve got to get your hands in the dirt to see what the harvest will bring..”

Bon Jovi.

What has dirt got to do with transitions? Because they are not easy. I am not saying they have to be difficult, but you have to know they are happening, recognize them and be prepared to get your hands in the dirt to see what the harvest will bring.
Two transitions…

I am in the midst of two transitions…Last week I was at a family gathering. Next week I am going to Turkey to prepare for my Everyday Happiness Holiday Retreat. In order to deal with all that this week brings (you know what it’s like before a journey- suddenly all the household appliances die, your car needs its MOT and you need to find someone to feed the cat!), I am having to tap, quite a lot…

“Dig deep, get your hands dirty…”

“Don’t be scared to breathe…”

“Don’t be afraid to hurt…”

“Don’t be ashamed in need…”

Thank you Bon Jovi.

For me this week, it’s been about acknowledging certain feelings…and tapping. Even though you would think it would be really obvious that I might need to process, in the middle of two transitions, it took a while to see that.

That’s the “have to know what’s happening” bit…I noticed I was wandering about the house, avoiding my “to do” list.

Stop. Tap. Tell the truth:

“Even though I am wandering about the house avoiding my to-do list, I love and accept myself…”

Some emotions came up. Tap tap. Some icky memories came up. Tap Tap…With EFT Tapping, “getting your hands dirty” is the tapping, Not so difficult…

Then? Well I felt better, and moved on. That’s the harvest. All in a few minutes…
Everyday Happiness!

That’s how I do it?
How about you?  Do leave your tips below…
********************************************************************************************

Tapping for transition

“Even though I’m not sure what is going on, I love and accept myself.”
“Even though I feel like something is happening but I am not sure what, I love and accept myself.”
“Even though this is a time of change and I feel unsettled, I love and accept myself.”

CH: “this unknown”
TE: “this strange feeling”
SE: “this time of change”
UE: “I’m not sure what’s happening”
UN: ” I don’t feel secure in the future”
CH: “Part of me wants to stay the same”
CB: “Part of me wants the change”
UA: “accepting this feeling”
LP: “it’s OK”

CH: “it’s OK to feel strange”
TE: “I am tapping on it”
SE: “I notice what is happening”
UE: “I can tap on any fears or sadness”
UN: ” Perhaps this time of change will bring me joy”
CH: “Perhaps it will be wonderful”
CB: “I am willing to open to what will come”
UA: “I accept myself exactly as I am”
LP: “I deeply and completely love and accept myself”

The post If you want to take that step… appeared first on EFT tapping, transformation for life.

Do you ever feel those butterflies in your tummy or that closing feeling around the throat?

Do you ever get gripped by fear? Or even feel it surrounding you like a blanket so it’s hard to even begin the thing you want to do?

The easiest, quickest and most effective way I know to dissolve that fear in its tracks is to tap on it. Right then and there.

I have been doing lots of this emergency tapping recently as I get ready to launch my book…

“What if I let through too many punctuation errors?” (Yes, really! wouldn’t bother some people but for me it plugs right into a core belief of  not   being “good enough…”)
“Suppose my typesetter doesn’t have time!”
“What if even one of my fellow EFTers hates it…I’ll never be able to hold my head up again…”

What have I done when I noticed these thoughts?

Tapped…then and there…and within a few moments the feeling of fear has come up…and within a few more moments the fear has dissolved.

Over and over.

The good news is that it’s not difficult.

All you have to do is to notice something is “out” and start tapping with the truth of what is going on. You don’t need to know the answer or where you are going.

Start. Tap. Notice. Tap. Then move on.

For example:
“Even though I’m worried about my punctuation…I so want to get it right…I should get it right…what will people think of me…I love and accept myself”,
then noticing the fear feeding those thoughts, then tapping on the fear,
“this fear…”
and very soon, within a few seconds, dissolving that fear and moving on with confidence.
Yes, there might be some mistakes, but honestly, will they sabotage the whole book? No.

If you notice something is “out” as you go about your day, try tapping on it. I guarantee it will shift. If you want, use the script below to help you.

And my book? FIngers crossed, it will be out in a couple of weeks.

xClaire
PS If you want a sneak preview of the beautiful cover, go here to look at it.

“Even though I feel stuck with this scared feeling, I accept myself and my feelings.”
“Even though I’m feeling scared, I love and accept myself.”
“Even though I have this hand at my throat and I can’t breathe properly, I accept myself.”

Crown of head:   this fear
Eyebrow:             this fluttery feeling
Side of eye:          this scared feeling
Under eye:           I don’t like it
Under nose:        I can’t breathe properly
Chin:                    this fear
Collarbone:         this fear
Under arm:         I’m willing it let it go
Liver point:         I don’t need it any more

Crown of head:  letting it go
Eyebrow:             letting it go
Side of eye:         I don’t need it any more
Under eye:          letting fear go
Under nose:       goodbye fear
Chin:                    I choose to breathe fully
Collarbone:        I choose to breathe into courage
Under arm:         Feeling the courage
Liver point:          Strong and clear

If you like, you can do another round with “strong and clear”.

The post The Fear Factor appeared first on EFT tapping, transformation for life.

Do you see a beautiful person?

Or do you see all the things that are wrong with you?

• “I’m too fat”
• “I’m too miserable”
• “I’m too old”
• “I’m too tired”

What happens when someone does something you don’t agree with?

Do you see a beautiful person? 

Or do you see all the things that are wrong with them?

• “They are too stupid”
• “They are too fat”
• “They are too low class”
• “They are too rich”

Ouch…

Aren’t these judgements tiring?  Don’t they make you want to curl up and go to sleep? They take SO much energy…

When you feel these sort of judgements in yourself, don’t they feel kind of sour and constricting?

Are they the sort of thoughts that are going to move you to your heart’s desire?

No.

Supposing it could be different…

To be clear – I am not advocating lack of discernment or value judgements.  Ethics and morality are high up on my value list.  In fact, I think they are VITAL to a compassionate, fair and vibrant society.

But I am suggesting that holding onto negative judgements about ourselves or others is the quickest way to unhappiness, despondency and failed dreams.

What  sort of magic could change that reflection?

What sort of magic can create light out of darkness?   The magic of forgiveness.

Now, forgiveness is a life-long practice. I think that to forgive some very great wrongs, like the Holocaust, takes a special kind of maturity and understanding.

But what if forgiveness is pliable enough and huge enough to cover everything?

What if forgiveness can apply to the little things as well as the big things?

What if forgiveness means you can get on with your day when you have messed up or someone else has messed up?

Forgiveness is such a grand word.  It can imply that you need to be forgiven from above.  It can have connotations of “only deep and meaningful issues need apply for forgiveness”.  But supposing that it can also be really be much more day to day?

Perhaps forgiveness can be down-to-earth practical…

Perhaps forgiveness means you can clear your head and make that phone call?

Perhaps forgiveness means you can let a small “wrong” from your partner go so you can enjoy your evening?

Perhaps forgiveness means you don’t have to fall off the diet wagon?

EFT tapping is a lifeline to forgiveness

EFT Tapping gets you to the freeing power of forgiveness fast because it doesn’t ignore the complaint!

No more, “I must forgive!” and then feeling that resentment or anger or shame coming up…You can’t force forgiveness.  Forgiveness is something which either arises naturally or you ask for. The good news is that you can prepare the ground and give forgiveness the right conditions to blossom.

Because EFT Tapping acknowledges the judgement, and then clears it, it creates the fertile ground for forgiveness to arise.

With forgiveness, you have a real shift in energy and capacity and life becomes SO much more joyful and free.

Clear those judgements and see clearly in the mirror

With EFT Tapping,  you start with the judgements, whether of yourself or others.  When your belief in that judgement has come down to a 2 or 3 out of 10, or your emotion around that judgement has come down – then there is room for forgiveness.  It might sound something like this.

EFT Tapping so you can see clearly

Set Up

• “Even though I have this I am so fat/miserable/old/tired judgement … I accept myself anyway”
• “Even though I’m telling myself I am so fat/miserable/old/tired… I love and accept myself”
• “Even though I hear this voice, I am so fat/miserable/old/tired… I accept myself anyway”

Round

• “This judgement”
• “It seems so true”
• “I’ve believed it a long time”
• “It gives me all sorts of “reasons why not”"
• “I am so attached to this judgement”
• “It’s an old friend”
• “It means I can stay comfortable”
• “This familiar judgement”
• “This familiar judgement”

• “Supposing it isn’t so powerful?”
• “Supposing it’s just a story I have been telling myself?”
• “Supposing it’s not set in stone?”
• “Perhaps there is another way of looking at it?”
• “I choose to let this judgement go”
• “I choose to forgive myself for having believed it”
• “I choose to frogive myself for this judgement”
• “I allow myself to breathe out”
• “I forgive myself”

Go to About EFT if you want to learn more about what EFT Tapping is and how to use those words.

You can, of course, substitute your own words and your own issues.  There is always room in EFT Tapping for looking more deeply at the issue, for doing your detective work about the causes and ramifications of your issue, then tapping on each aspect.

AND this sort of clear, to-the-point zapping of one belief at a time, with the healing power of forgiveness, is SO empowering.  EFT Tapping doesn’t always have to be cosmic!  And anyway, every time you tap for a limiting belief, you are doing sacred work.

Look in the mirror with forgiveness

I think you will like what you see…

Please feel free to leave a comment…Are you willling to share how  forgiving yourself has opened up your world?  This is such a juicy topic…I’ll love to hear your thoughts.

The post Forgiveness appeared first on EFT tapping, transformation for life.

The post Transformation2013 appeared first on EFT tapping, transformation for life.

The Alchemy of Transformation

Imagine this.  You are trying to lose weight.  You have a very important date (your wedding!) coming up. You know everything there is to know about food and nutrition.  But you are in the market, your hand is hovering over a bar of chocolate you KNOW will make you feel better… The temptation is so strong and you even know about the inner game…you know that the argument you just had with your sister on the phone is driving you to comfort eat…

AAGGHH!!!

What to do?  OK, you, dear reader, may not have a problem with food and eating.  But I would bet you feel a smidgen of empathy for our hapless, chocolate-needing, emotional-turmoil-filling heroine.  For I bet there are times in your life when you want to achieve something, you even know about some of the inner triggers holding you back and you STILL fall into that black hole…

Welcome to the club!  You are not alone.

You are playing the drama of:

• “not good enough”
• “not clever enough”
• “not shiny enough”

and a thousand other ways you and I sabotage ourselves…

What if, in that moment of panic, that moment of falling into the black hole you had some help?

 A solution.  A container.  A guiding hand… the Alchemy of Transformation.

You need three things to make alchemy happen.

• One, you need something to transform.
• Two, you need the energy, the magic, to transform it.
• Three, you need a vessel or container to do it in.

So in our story here, our heroine has the first thing.  She has something to transform- she wants to transform her relationship with food, in particular her neediness around her emotional triggers.  She has the second thing – the energy to transform it.  She is really motivated to lose weight for her upcoming wedding.  But she doesn’t have a container.  She doesn’t know how to deal with those emotional triggers and self-sabotaging beliefs.

She is stuck when she wants to be clear…frustrated when she wants to be emboldened…self loathing when she wants to be self loving…

Sound familiar?

Your container needs to be a process that brings mind-clarity, heart-healing and body-presence.  Ideally in the moment. 

In that moment of reaching for the chocolate bar, you need your container, your process.

You need a container – EFT tapping can do this

EFT tapping can do this.  EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques. You tap on potent energy points on the body and your body and your mind and your emotions re-arrange themselves. The dark aspects, the unwanted emotions (in this case frustration and self loathing) dissolve and in their place new clarity and purpose arise. It is a kind of magic.

As well as clearing the “chocolate bar” moment, this magic can also be used for investigating and clearing the deeper reasons a reaction is triggered…

In this story perhaps the phone call with the sister re-triggered sub-conscious memories of childhood competition, of not being pretty enough, not being cool enough…EFT tapping can get to the roots of the issue and clear it out once and for all.  Sometimes quickly and sometimes over time, but this tapping container can purify and transform anything thrown into it.  And of course, it is not the only modality to do this.  You may well have a favourite one of your own.

Even without knowing anything more about EFT tapping, you can start this magical process of transformation for yourself.

Remember, for the Alchemy of Transformation, you need the 3 things:

• something to transform
• the energy, or motivation, to do it
• the vessel or container

Let’s look at how you can dig into this Alchemy

1)   “something to transform”.

Here’s the secret.  The “something to transform” might be BIG, like wanting to lose weight, but the magical moment was reaching for the chocolate bar.  It was specific, in time and space.

So what would you throw into the container of magical tapping?

Take a moment now to pause, breathe deep into the soles of your feet and ask yourself this question.

Where have you stumbled during your day as you were sincerely and with hope moving towards your goal?

You want to identify with specific clarity a “chocolate bar” moment from the last few days.

If you are in business, did you hesitate to make a phone call or get that techie thing done?

If you are working on a relationship, did you have a tiff that sprung up out of nowhere?

If you are a parent, did you snap at your child when you know, for a fact, that it wasn’t about them and you feel guilty?

These are your magical moments that you can transform.  Inside them are all the stories you have created to bring yourself to this specific moment.  That’s great, because then you can do something about it.

2)     “the energy, or motivation, to do it”

Then ask yourself why you want to transform in this area?  These are your motivations, your reasons why. The words, “so that”, are really handy here….

They may be things like:

• a happy relationship so that you make the best parents
• a trim body so that you stay healthier longer
• a successful business so that you can give back

Getting in touch with the deep reasons “why” will be the flames of your alchemical fire…

3)                “the vessel or container”

Choose your vessel, your container for transformation.  EFT tapping works, as do many other tools.   Choose, and use.  This is real alchemy. You need to do the work.  I know you can

With these three ingredients, your Alchemy of Transformation can happen

You have the “chocolate bar” moments to throw into the cauldron, you have the passion of motivation to fuel the fire and you have the vessel of a trusted modality to be your container.

Why not share one of your “chocolate bar” moments below…a moment you know can be the magic ingredient in your transformation journey.  Let’s make alchemy together!

The post The Alchemy of Transformation appeared first on EFT tapping, transformation for life.

It is one I teach all the time.  Be aware of the small things in life…they have so much to teach you.  Today, I needed a reminder!

I was meeting with a graphic designer about my forthcoming book, “Everyday Happiness”.  I have commissioned some illustrations and we were talking about how to present them.

I was really keen on having each illustration showcased in a box.  I thought it would not only look neat and tidy, but would present the illustrations well. She was in favour of not having a box, as the designs would be more free flowing.  As she is the professional, I listened carefully, but kept coming back to wanting a box.

She knew I was an EFT practitioner and would respond to her keen insight:

“Where else in your life are you keeping things fragmented, in boxes?”

I nearly cried…for it is true that I am juggling many balls at the moment and am “coping”  by having clear boundaries…I am using “boxes” to make sense of my life at the moment.  Nothing wrong with clear boundaries, but when those boundaries become boxes…

Could this be the reason I was so keen on boxes for the illustrations?

Possibly, yes.

This is how far reaching and subtle our emotional energies spread. 

This is why some people are “control freaks” and some “let it all hang out”.  We are all only reacting to the world in the way we know best.  Nothing about our behaviour is random.

So I came home and did some tapping on:

“Even though I need and want my boxes at the moment, I love and accept myself…”

I was soon able to shift some underlying anxiety and fear of overwhelm and was able to shift into a much more expansive gear.

This is the beauty of Everyday Happiness – using the clues of everyday to move forward on your path.

Today, I needed a nudge from outside to help me see the clue.

Oftentimes, that is exactly where the clues are:

• how do you react to what people say to you?
• what can you notice about your behaviour that might be a clue?
• how do you feel/react/respond to what you see on the television, read online?

The clues are manifold.  They are lurking in the way you present a meal, choose your clothes, decide about illustrations…

So the next time you find yourself fixated on a decision, look and see what might be beneath it…

Simply tap on the presenting clue, like I did.  Before I tapped, “Even though I need and want my boxes at the moment, I love and accept myself…” I didn’t know what the emotion was.  I tapped, then the emotion came up, then I could clear.  Bingo!

Notice.  Tap.  Clear.  Create.

PS I still want those boxes, but for design reasons, not emotional reasons!

The post The Hidden Clues appeared first on EFT tapping, transformation for life.

Is there something in the day ahead that you are anxious about? Or perhaps you just don’t feel motivated….the Monday morning feeling, or Tuesday or Wednesday or…

Sally woke up one day.  She knew she had to make a phone call questioning a utility bill and felt awful. She stayed under the covers as long as possible and felt sick to her stomach.

Luckily, she knew about EFT tapping.

She decided to do the “Shower Exercise”.

She stood under the hot shower and took a moment to bring her attention to herself.  She started tapping.  She didn’t do the Set Up.  She started tapping around the points from the Crown down and asked herself how she was feeling.  She knew she felt horrible but she wanted to describe it.

“I’m feeling horrible…. feeling sick…I wish I didn’t have to do this…I don’t want to do this….”

After tapping only a few points, she honed down to the base feeling keeping all that stuff in place.  She heard herself saying, “I feel scared….”

Something shifted in her.  That was the core. So she did some more tapping….

 “this scared feeling…this fear….this fear…”

She tapped for a round, then went back to her sternum.  That felt good so she did a bit more there.  She enjoyed feeling the scared feeling dissolve as she also felt the hot water cascade over her head and shoulders.

Big sigh.  What a relief.

Sally then asked herself, “What feeling or quality would I like today to help me make this phone call?”

“Courage”.

The answer came to her loud and clear.

So she tapped with the word “courage….”, saying it out loud, finding herself saying, “I choose courage….” and “I love courage” without thinking it through.  The tapping gave her the words.

 She laughed.  She felt like a lion. 

Sally stepped out of the shower a new person.  The “Shower Exercise” had taken 90 seconds.  After breakfast, she made the phone call to the utility company with confidence and clarity and got the response she needed.

Simple.

I invite you to try the Shower Exercise yourself. 

You don’t have to feel bad!  You could even feel great and end up feeling even better.  The point is to hone in on how you are and how you are feeling (and thinking) about the day ahead, then set yourself up in the best possible way.

Here is what to do.

The Shower Exercise

 Step One

Stand under the shower, allowing the sensation of the water to bring you into the present.

 Step Two

Start tapping at your favourite point.  Ask yourself how you are feeling about the day ahead.  You may get feeling words in response, or thoughts. It’s all good.  Trust the answers.

 Step Three

Tap on what comes up.  Keep it simple.  Don’t get into a story with yourself.  You are looking for the core feelings…Tap, whether on one point, or do a round.  It doesn’t matter. Tap until you feel some relief from having named the “issue” and maybe having cleared some of it.

 Step Four

Ask yourself what feeling or quality would serve you today.  It may be the opposite of your “negative” and it may not be.  Tap and trust.  The answer will be the right one. I call this your Quality.

 Step Five

When you have “tapped in” your Quality for the day, you have finished the Shower Exercise.   Keep that word in mind as you go through the day and notice the consequences.  You may be surprised by its power!

(Note: this isn’t a full EFT tapping session on an issue.  It is about accessing the core “negative” and then asking for the Quality you need to be given to you.  You can always set aside time to tap on the issue in depth if you need.)

If you are feeling great, the Shower Exercise still works.  You are just starting from a different place.  You are still tapping to find a particular Quality that will support you.

This exercise is one of the most powerful ways I know to set yourself up for the day.  That Quality isn’t random.  It is yours.

And here’s the best bit.  You don’t have to be in the shower.  You can do it right here and now!

Ask yourself, right now, what you are feeling about the few hours ahead.  Tap the answers that come up, keeping it simple.  Core feelings and thoughts.  Then ask yourself what Quality would serve you and tap with that….

I did it between typing the last sentence and this and I can tell you I am feeling 100% more positive about my long To Do list for today!  !  I now have the Quality of excitement!

 So I invite you to do the same and share your new Quality below…

And next time you are in the shower, try it.  You will be surprised how powerful it is.

The post That Monday Morning feeling… appeared first on EFT tapping, transformation for life.

Last night, I heard a familiar tale.

“I was lying in bed and wasn’t able to sleep because of this upset from something that happened during the day so I tapped. And tapped and tapped and I couldn’t get rid of the upset.”

The speaker uses EFT tapping often and is used to getting results, so she was confused, “Why didn’t it work?”

When I drilled down, I found that she was tapping on the upset as a whole.

Now, when you are in the upset and still feeling it then to do general tapping is a great place to start. The act of tapping itself soothes the nervous system.

“Even though I have this upset, I love and accept myself.”

But then she got stuck. Why?

Because she stayed general. Something in her was yearning for relief, but she couldn’t find the key.

She needed to look more.

When you are looking for an answer it helps to narrow the search.

Imagine you want a piece of paper – a real piece of paper. It has the answer to your problem. You know what it is and where it is.

It is inside a folder which is inside a hanging file, which is in a sliding drawer of a filing cabinet. So when you want that piece of paper all you have to do is to walk up to the cabinet, open the right drawer, find the appropriate file, leaf through to the folder, take it out and find your piece of paper! Easy!

But supposing you don’t know which piece of paper you want and instead of one filing cabinet there are hundreds, in rows, and maybe they are dusty. How do you find that piece of paper? Aaghh!!!

Exactly. Frustration and overwhelm. You are going to need to narrow your search. You are going to need to sub-divide all those cloned ranks. Now you have a focus for your search. You know what you need to look for first.

This gives you confidence, so you notice that rather than look all alike, the rows are differentiated. Some are blue and some are red and some are yellow. Great! You decide to look in yellow because that is where you are drawn to first. You walk down the yellow rank, open a drawer at random – no, it’s not there. You know it isn’t there because it doesn’t feel right. You open a couple more drawers and there it is! The paper you were looking for – bright and clear as daylight. With a sigh of relief, you take it out. Success!

You have found the answer

So, in this imaginary search for the unknown piece of paper, what did you do?
• You were faced with frustration and overwhelm
• You decided to focus down your search
• This gave you confidence so you trusted yourself & the process
• You investigated what you were drawn to first
• You carried on looking until you found what you were looking for

You used both logic and intuition to find what you were looking for

Now let’s go back to my example of the speaker lying awake at night, yearning to feel better.

She did some general tapping which is great. But she still felt frustration and overwhelm at the upset.

And when you are in the middle of an upset that can be hard. Everything is jumbled up into the overwhelming pain of that upset.

She needed to go deeper.

With EFT tapping, that means asking questions.

The good news is that those questions are simple. When you ask those questions, you are shining a light on the dusty cabinets and they reveal their colours.

Question 1 How am I feeling in my body?

A simple question, but the answer isn’t always obvious. One way of finding out is to methodically scan your body – how are my shoulders feeling? How is my breath? What does my stomach feel like? Is there a shape or a colour or a sensation? There often is. It might feel something like, “I notice I’m not letting my breath out fully. My stomach feels all wobbly, like it’s kind of vulnerable and I notice I’m scrunched up around it…”

Question 2 What thoughts am I having?

Again, answers aren’t always so easy to hear, because you are inside your head at the same time. It’s just you after all!

So try listening to what is going on in your head as if you really are listening to someone else. Then you begin to hear the thoughts.

Sometimes the thought you need for your tapping is the very first one, so don’t try and find anything “special”. What is upfront is what your energetic body is resonating with, so trust that first thought. It might be as simple as “I don’t want this upset, I want to go to sleep now, why isn’t this tapping working?” There will be a hundred other thoughts jostling for space – just like all those filing cabinets, but listen out for what is “on top”.

Question 3 What emotion am I feeling?

There aren’t so many negative emotions – anger, fear and sadness are the prime colours of the emotions – but oh dear, it can be hard to know what you are feeling. Often times you mix it up with the words in your head. “How am I feeling? They shouldn’t have said that….” Sometimes of course it is “on top” – “I am SO ANGRY”, but sometimes it is more hidden.

If so, I suggest you sink a bit deeper into the question… “How am I feeling?” and allow the answer to surface. It will. Giving yourself that permission to feel the feeling is huge in itself and when you hear the answer, what a relief…

You have asked the questions. Now what?

In truth, asking these questions can still give you jumbled answers. But the good news is that you don’t need all the answers.

You just need one answer

Listen out for what is clearest. To use the filing cabinet analogy, the answer was “yellow”. Are you more in touch with the physical feeling or the thoughts or the emotion? You will know.

And tap on that. Keep it simple.

For example, “I notice when I think of this upset, I’m feeling shocked. I feel wobbly.” So you can start with,

“Even though I feel wobbly, and I’m shocked, I love and accept myself”.

Do your tapping for as long as it takes for the intensity to come down. By this time, another important factor will have come up, eg “they shouldn’t have said that”.

“Even though they shouldn’t have said that, I’m OK”.

Do that tapping until you are aware of the emotion ….”and I’m feeling hurt”.

Then you tap on the emotion…

“Even though I’m feeling hurt, I love and accept myself”.

There isn’t a correct order in which to ask the questions and there isn’t a correct order in which to tap.

You are asking the questions so you can make sense of the dusty ranks of filing cabinets. When you hit the right question, the rank with the most relevance will be revealed. As you tap, you are opening the drawers to look for the paper. When you get the right answer, the one with the most power, it is like finding the paper. Then you find the next bit of paper. They will appear until you don’t need them any more.

Again and again, the pivot of clearing with EFT comes down to being specific. It may be a feeling, it may be a word. But when you get it, and tap with it, then you know, because you feel better. It may need several aspects of your upset to clear it altogether. So go on tapping and asking until you are done.

The beauty of EFT is that it is so forgiving as a technique. You don’t need to know exactly what to tap on when you begin. You don’t know where the piece of paper is. You feel the overwhelm and frustration,

“Even though I have this upset, I love and accept myself”.

Your upset comes down a bit but there is more.

“Even though I feel frustrated, I am OK”.

That feels better. You have acknowledged the situation and cleared enough to be open to asking questions.

Question 1 How am I feeling in my body?

Question 2 What thoughts am I having?

Question 3 What emotion am I feeling?

You tap on what answer comes up first and brightest. You will know. Then you tap on the next and the next.

The tapping itself leads you where you need to go: you just need to be willing to listen to the answers

When you have opened all the files you need and exposed them to the light of day, the dusty ranks of cabinets will have disappeared. They are not needed any more.

You feel better. You sleep.

So next time you are stuck with an upset and feel frustrated with your tapping,ask those 3 simple questions. They will get you where you want to go.

The post Why doesn’t the upset go away? appeared first on EFT tapping, transformation for life.

What Does Winning Mean to You?

I tried.  I really tried.  But in the end the lure of the Olympics coming to the UK this week is too much…We are inundated. Everything is Olympic this and Olympic that.  I live far away from any events but it has touched even our lives.  One of my daughters saw the Olympic torch pass the end of her street (exciting) and (less exciting), when I went to book some train tickets well in advance, all the cheap ones had gone (“so many people here for the Olympics, love” said the clerk).

So here I am – all Olympic-themed up!

Do you want a Gold Medal or does the very thought make you run in the opposite direction?

Here’s the thing.

Success is such a loaded word.

Winning in such a loaded word.

Maybe for you the idea of winning is just fantastic.  It means you have attained your goals and all is hunky dory…

But maybe the idea comes with a load of baggage – all that stuff you learned early on.

• “I must do well to make Mum or Dad happy/notice me/approve of me…”
• “When I do well I get bullied…”
• “I can’t do well because I don’t know how…”
• “I can’t do well I’m not clever enough…”

With thoughts like these you can see how easy it is to make (unconscious) decisions like:

• “…and since they don’t get happy/notice me/approve then there’s no point in trying.”
• “…since I don’t want to be bullied I won’t shine.”
• “…and it’s too scary to ask so I’m going to stay small.”
• “…and I never will do well so there’s no point.”

So many reasons not to win or even try and do well…

Success can be scary

Maybe the above beliefs don’t resonate with you, but there may be some other reason why you are not “winning”.  There are as many reasons as there are individual thoughts and feelings on the planet after all…

Perhaps the idea of “Winning” is too competitive?

You may believe (almost certainly if you are British!) that to win means to “make another person feel bad” and so it’s best to stay demure and small.  I never understood that….So many times have I worked with clients who have felt diminished by negative thoughts thrown at them..

• “don’t be cocky”
• “wipe that smile off your face”
• “don’t show off”

Then it’s natural to want to hide and not succeed.  Who wants to be put down when they do well?

Perhaps you have been told you must win?

Perhaps if you are American, it’s the other way?  Success is revered and almost worshipped.  The upside is that it’s culturally OK to do well.  The downside is you might feel forced to perform or not be able…

• “I have to be brilliant…”
• “They won’t love me if I don’t succeed…”
• “I’m not allowed to fail…”

So it would be natural to run away from winning even for your own sake, or to win only for the sake of others.

I recently saw a documentary about British Olympic Gold Medalist, Victoria Pendleton, when she talked about the pressure of needing to succeed not just for her father, or her team, but for her country…She didn’t mention wanting to win for herself…

Let’s redefine Success

What if it was OK to do win?

What if “to win” had different measures?

What if was OK to do spectacularly well by the world’s standards (Olympic Gold anyone?) and feel absolutely  100% about it?

What if was OK to make a tiny tiny step and still feel like you have won a Gold?

That sounds good to me.

Celebration!

With EFT you can find the “reasons why not”, all that mindtalk and negative emotion, clear them and move to your goals…

And one of the biggest motivators is celebration…celebrate your successes!

When you really allow yourself to celebrate yourself (and be celebrated) it’s like rocket fuel…there’s nothing better to give self-confidence a boost.

So here’s my suggestion.

Celebration Tapping

Yes, you want to clear the “stuff” but for a quick boost, there’s nothing like celebration! So sometimes you really want to go for the positive…

Start tapping on the Karate Chop point (http://youtu.be/DcbzZBHXEQU for the points) tap:

Karate Chop Point: 

“Even though I have this Success Issue, I celebrate myself anyway!”

“Even though I have this Success Issue, I choose to celebrate myself!”

“Even though I have this Success Issue, I’m willing to celebrate myself!”

Crown of Head: “I’m doing great!”

Eyebrow: “I’m doing the best I can, right now.”

Side of Eye: “I’m brilliant.”

Under Eye:  “I’m so glad I succeeded even a little.”  (name the success)

Under Nose: “I’m really good at …”  (name something you can be proud of, even things you wouldn’t normally celebrate, like being good at ironing or weeding or typing…)

Chin: “I’m really good at…”  (name something else)

Collarbone:  “and this…”  (name it out loud)

Under arm:  “and this…”  (name it out loud)

Liver Point:  “I celebrate my uniqueness.”

Crown of Head:  “I celebrate my uniqueness.”

You can adapt these words however you want.  The idea is to celebrate yourself!

(Caution – don’t do this if you are feeling really down about yourself and your world and all you hear when you say the celebration words is the rebound – then do some tapping for those negatives first).

So go ahead and celebrate your  Gold Medal you!  If you are brave, ( you are brave aren’t you?) I invite you to post something you celebrate about yourself down below in the comments!

Go for Gold!

 What’s your Gold Medal success? I look forward to reading and celebrating with you down below!

The post What Does Winning Mean to You? (Olympic Special!) appeared first on EFT tapping, transformation for life.

Let me know how you get on….

The post EFT for Fear of Failure appeared first on EFT tapping, transformation for life.