Autocowrecks

Apple Has Taken over

NickCB — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 10:00:00 -0700

Almost As Good as the Original

NickCB — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 16:00:00 -0700

Be Careful!

theresaburger — Fri, 09 Aug 2013 08:00:00 -0700

The Easy Way Out

jackjohn — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 07:45:00 -0800

I Was Mostly Impressed by the Magic Glowing Box

jackjohn — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 08:00:00 -0800

He's a remarkably coordinated texter for someone on three tabs of acid.

The Song Never Said You KNEW the Boys...

jackjohn — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 06:00:00 -0800

Soooo... boys. Hi. You're in my yard now. This is awkward.

How to Speak Spanish

jackjohn — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 14:00:00 -0700

You're Very Protective of Your Mormon

ichcjasmine — Sat, 27 Jul 2013 06:00:00 -0700

Autocorrect Goes Old School

theresaburger — Wed, 09 Oct 2013 07:00:00 -0700

Is Your Child Using Web Speak Safely?

jackjohn — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 14:00:00 -0800

I'm l33ting so hard right now.

Draw Nyanthing

NickCB — Thu, 01 Nov 2012 08:00:00 -0700

See You at Thanksgiving

ichcjasmine — Sat, 11 Apr 2015 08:00:00 -0700

STD You There Then!

kacerosky — Wed, 08 May 2013 05:00:00 -0700

Will You Be My Fork?

NickCB — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 12:00:00 -0800

Don't be forever alone on Valentine's Day, head on over to Dating Fails!

I Have Two Modes: Rise Above It or SET IT ON FIRE

ichcjasmine — Tue, 04 Jun 2013 06:00:00 -0700

But Look Fab While You Do It

theresaburger — Sun, 22 Mar 2015 10:00:00 -0700

Oh Yeah, Grab My Books

theresaburger — Thu, 14 Nov 2013 08:00:00 -0800

I'm Gonna Bark For Awhile Until I Feel Better

NickCB — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 14:50:00 -0700

Not Everyone Thought So...

theresaburger — Mon, 06 Jan 2014 08:00:00 -0800

Everyone's A Comedian

NickCB — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 04:00:00 -0700

What's Autocorrect Like IRL?

NickCB — Fri, 24 Apr 2015 04:00:00 -0700

What a Great Friend!

NickCB — Sun, 12 Aug 2012 09:00:00 -0700

Someone Took the Already

jackjohn — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 11:00:00 -0800

I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU

NickCB — Tue, 27 Nov 2012 06:00:00 -0800

Is That WHY You're Running Late?

theresaburger — Fri, 13 Dec 2013 07:00:00 -0800

No, That First One Sounds Better!

theresaburger — Fri, 23 Aug 2013 06:00:00 -0700

A Spoonful of Delicious Helps the Evil Go Down

jackjohn — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 16:50:00 -0700

If jaywalking were as delicious as a chicken omelette, the cars wouldn't be able to drive for all the people in the road. Not to compare jaywalking to eating a mother with its young, but still.

There's Probably Some Overlap

theresaburger — Tue, 19 Nov 2013 06:00:00 -0800

Siri Is HAL-in-Training

jackjohn — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 09:00:00 -0800

I KNEW it!

I'm Already on Track With (No) Exercise!

Amemeda — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 08:00:00 -0700

When Cat Facts Backfires

jackjohn — Sun, 10 May 2015 08:00:00 -0700

Someone tried to use the famed cat facts technique on MeganBones, but they didn't count on her enthusiasm and knowledge for cats outlasting theirs. Note to would-be prank callers: don't EVER try this on someone who knows more about cats than you do.

If Only His Name WAS Solomon

theresaburger — Sat, 18 Jan 2014 08:00:00 -0800

Silly Bee, You Can't Use a Phone

NickCB — Mon, 11 Jun 2012 09:00:00 -0700

Self-Poortraits: It's Like We Don't Even Curr

NickCB — Fri, 24 Aug 2012 16:00:00 -0700

Oh. Were We Having a Serious Discussion?

NickCB — Fri, 20 Jul 2012 05:00:00 -0700

Let's Destroy Some Phones!

NickCB — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 08:00:00 -0700

There's nothing more cathartic than smashing up your smartphone. NOTHING.

I Don't Think You Should Play Anymore

NickCB — Wed, 16 May 2012 14:00:00 -0700

You Are Your Own Biggest Roadblock

theresaburger — Wed, 04 Dec 2013 05:00:00 -0800

Remember When You Were Cutting Edge?

chutzell — Thu, 03 Oct 2013 04:00:00 -0700

A Warning from Autocorrect

ichcjasmine — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 05:00:00 -0700

There's Got to Be a Better Way to Represent "Heat"

NickCB — Sat, 17 Nov 2012 06:00:00 -0800

Making Friends and Being Classy

jackjohn — Tue, 14 Apr 2015 04:00:00 -0700

When a friend telling you another of their friends likes you turns awkward...

Works Like a Charm!

jackjohn — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 16:00:00 -0700

FEELINGS. About EXES.

Look, Man, I Just Want to Buy a Car

jackjohn — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 12:00:00 -0800

From the submitter:

This guy bought my car a few days before this text, first thing I heard from him after buying it. Glad he clarified that he indeed was not going to snuggle up with me.

Go Crazy!

NickCB — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 06:00:00 -0700

What Have You Done?

NickCB — Sun, 07 Apr 2013 04:00:00 -0700

Do. You. Even. Shift?

stephenwood51 — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 12:00:00 -0700

Something Went Horribly Wrong

NickCB — Fri, 26 Oct 2012 05:00:00 -0700

Did you have a stroke? SHOULD I CALL AN AMBULANCE?

Truly Only a Look That Chris Brown Can Pull Off

jackjohn — Mon, 30 Jul 2012 14:00:00 -0700

Dark by Nature

jackjohn — Wed, 08 Apr 2015 10:00:00 -0700