Avoiding the Rack

The State of Costumes in 2017

2017-03-30T15:52:00.000-07:00

2016 was a rough year, to say the least, and the bar is lowered for this year because of it. So what is the point of costumes in today's political climate? How can we even pretend everything is sunshine and rainbows for one day out of the year? How can we want to show our bodies when sexual harassment is encouraged? These are tough things to face but they are very real and not going away. We don't live in a perfect world but we sure as hell can imagine it and that's the power costumes have. Through our clothes and appearance, we gain the power of the image.

We can show the world what a black female president looks like or what a transgendered head of church would be like or how a republican who trusts science can run a government. Trust me, neither of them will look like what they try to sell you in those fucking plastic bags at the store.

A lot of people might feel that dressing up as these roles might demean them in some way. However, none of these things are out of the ordinary (even though a female president seems fucking mythical at this point). This is the power that images have. If we can visualize it then we can one day have it. Someone at one point thought of a sexy nurse costume and, while there are no real sexy nurses at hospitals, there are plenty of people that take on that identity in other formats. If we pretend to be president, that's almost half way there to the real thing because we have passed the first step of knowing it can exist.

So this is going to be 2017: A year of hopes, getting them dashed, getting angry about it, and not fucking backing down.

This is not a post about political agendas. This is about not seeing the representation we want and finding a way to make it true for ourselves. This is about having wishes and making them come true. Even if we never see the representation we want, our vision will at least spark the conversation of "why the hell not?"

Best Thing About the Superbowl Idea of the Year: Left Shark

2015-02-07T18:23:00.000-08:00

I don't want to seem like I'm obsessed with sharks or anything... but you guys should really see this shark.

I have to admit, the Superbowl was quite grueling to watch as a Seattleite but the one highlight for me (and the rest of the internet) is Katy Perry's left dancer in the amazing shark suit (whom I am now in love with).

Left Shark's dance moves may not be as on point as right shark but they have definitely stolen all the thunder from anything else that might have happened during sports ball.

The left shark costume is the best excuse to dance as drunk and high as you like (most likely any day of the year). Alternatively, this can turn into a couples costume (or even a threesome Katy Perry sandwich).

Who this costume is for:

Anyone looking to mesh their keen interest in shark week with their significant other's Top 40 music taste
Many of those who would like very much not to forget this Superbowl ever happened

What you'll need:

A Shark Costume
Not the slightest idea of how to dance
ALL the substance abuse

Rating: Easy

Badass Idea of the Year: Modern Age Superheroes

2014-10-24T18:20:00.001-07:00

2014 has been the best and yet, at the same time, the worst year for women. So much so that I have had an incredibly difficult time thinking of female costumes this year. Thus far just some of the topics that have seen light on women's issues have been equal pay, domestic abuse, catcalling, misogyny, graphic female violence in video games, and, of course, feminism. All of which are important issues to shed light on but none of them make very fun halloween costumes. So it's been a big year for women but not a truly positive year.

I really wanted to find some bad ass women to showcase because that is just what the world needs right now. Luckily, many big comic book icons are being redesigned to suit a female audience. Rather than donning tight leather spandex suits and high heels to appeal to the male gaze, now icons like Batgirl are sporting stylish and practical crime fighting gear and ass-kicking doc martens to boot.

Thor being redesigned as a female is probably my favorite of them all just because they didn't re-brand her as She-Thor, Lady Thor, or Thorita. She's just Thor... easy as that... and it's AMAZING. Her costume puts more emphasis on her incredibly muscular arms rather than her lady bits which is a nice change from most halloween wear.

Classic character re-designs like Wonder Woman and Batgirl give the comic book community a new lease on life. As well as the opportunity to attract a much wider audience now that young girls can have heroes to look up to. Also, these costumes are pretty awesome for those cold October nights bouncing between parties. This saves you all the trouble of putting a jacket on a costume and you're already in ass-kicking attire in case the night packs some surprises.

My favorite hero growing up was always Spiderman but my favorite hero in my adult life just may be his female Asian American counterpart, Silk. I've mentioned a lot of old classics being redone and Silk is somewhere in-between. She's a new character but still has a lot about her that reminds us of our friendly neighborhood Spiderman. Not to mention, she doesn't quite look as one-liner-y as our favorite web crawler but instead looks more like she's ready trap you in her web which fits my badass agenda so much right now.

Who this costume is for:

Girls who don't need saving

What you'll need:

None of the spandex
All of the ass kicking

Rating: Badass

Real Life Zombie Idea of the Year: Luis Suárez

2014-10-24T13:11:00.002-07:00

This year may have presented many new and exciting dangers that we can potentially die from. Drone strikes are forever ruining the idea of blue skies all the while, Ebola sleeps in our wake. Despite the introduction of these new terrible world dangers, 2014 is still one of my favorite years largely because it hosted the World Cup and boy do I love the World Cup.

Large sports events are going to boast many heroes and titans but, by far, my favorite figure is the one painted as a villain. Meet Luis Suárez from Uruguay who is most famous for chomping on his opponents in all sorts of zombie fashion.

Having suffered his third warning for biting his opponents, Suárez was forced into suspension to think about his flesh eating ways but his antics will always live on in glory as our favorite real life zombie costume.

Who this costume is for:

Football fans around the world
Those who think the impending zombie apocalypse may have already started in Brazil
All those who love bearing their teeth

What you'll need:

A Uruguay or Liverpool uniform
Teeth

Rating: Easy

Obligatory Wes Anderson Idea of the Year: The Grand Budapest Hotel

2014-10-14T02:52:00.000-07:00

Every few years or so, Wes Anderson comes out with another quirky visual masterpiece that is instantly a hit with all our hippest friends. To their credit, our hippest friends have good taste! Anderson has a talent for making all his characters eccentric from the inside out which makes for an incredible range of diverse iconic personas to choose from. Personally, as a Halloween costume scrambler who is always looking for ideas, Wes Anderson movie years are the best years.

The Grand Budapest Hotel is by far the most mustache-full flick of all. From the brooding villainous mustache of Adrian Brody to the the thin drawn on lip hair of Tony Revolori there is enough facial hair to fit everyone's style types. So I'll be looking forward to a very mustache-full hallow's eve.

However, bonus points will be awarded to whomever can pull off a coveted "Boy with Apple" costume!

Who this costume is for:

Wes Anderson fans
Especially those who have excess purple velvet in their closet
Anyone who is obsessed with perfectly manicured mustaches

What you'll need:

An old Prince costume
An air of arrogance and pride for hotel work
Eyeliner to draw on some lip fuzz
Obligatory Mendel's box

Rating: Medium

Happy Idea of the Year: Pharrell and His Trusty Hat

2014-10-09T14:28:00.000-07:00

2014 has been a year of bad news ranging from missing airplanes, racial issues, gender issues, and missing dictators (*cough Kim Jong-Un). We're really grasping for happy straws this year. Thus I wanted to start off my first post of 2014 on a happy note with, possibly quite literally, the happiest person of the year.

Not only does Pharrell have his insanely popular Oscar nominated song but he also got a chance to sing alongside Daft Punk on their new album. Yeah, this guy is having a good year.

Pharrell Williams may very well be one of Hollywood's most stylish men however, he's more well known for his incredible hat than his incredible style. Which is why he is this year's easiest costume choice. Put on your sharpest (track) suit and add a few dozen gold chains for flair and you just might be the bell of the ball. Of course, top it all off with Pharrell's signature hat and you have yourself the best dressed costume of the year.

Who this costume is for:

Ballers
Track Suit Enthusiasts
Anyone looking for a good hat hunt

What you'll need:

Your best clothes
Your flyest kicks
Gold chains galore
Bling up to your eyes
But mostly just a really large mounty hat

Rating: Easy

The Downward Spiral of Syfy Idea of the Year: Sharknado

2013-10-27T02:50:00.000-07:00

The Syfy channel may be bordering on the lines of Sci-Fi these days with titles like Sharktopus and Dinocroc vs. Supergator (which are all perfectly adequate costumes by the way) but for some reason nothing can even come close to crossing the line between ridiculous and completely awesome quite like Sharknado. For those who have never heard of this truly mind-blowing sensation here is the trailer to catch you up to speed:

In terms of things taking the internet by storm, Sharknado was definitely one of my favorite things to witness blowing through our lives. The tweets surrounding it might have been just as enjoyable as watching Tara Reid escape this jaw-dropping epidemic or land sharks in tornado form. Which is why, in my deepest belief, a Sharknado costume would be more deserving of a high five than anything else we see come out of this year. Read those tornado costume tutorials online because this one is worth it!

Who this costume is for:

Fans of Sharktopus
Those who were disappointed with Shark Week this year
Anyone looking to grasp onto Tara Reid's last hurrah

What you'll need:

A tornado costume tutorial
Sharks

Rating: Medium

Final Countdown Idea of the Year: Arrested Development

2013-05-26T01:47:00.000-07:00

In lieu of the long awaited final season of the most underrated television series of all time, Arrested Development is now more relevant than ever!

I can almost predict that no home-made costume will be more popular nor more well received and those lucky enough to recycle their old AD costumes can get away without spending a dime this year. Those looking to stay in luxe threads while partying all night can easily pull off a Lucile or Lindsey while gentlemen can stick to Michael or a very obscure personal favorite, Bob Loblaw.

However, no character is more recognizable than Tobias as a blue man or never nude and Buster comes in a close second with his hook hand. If you have a very willing friend, you can convince them to dress as Buster's archenemy, the seal.

If anyone owns a segway, it is almost mandatory to go as Gob this year since you will never find a better opportunity to look cool traveling on a segway while party hopping or trick or treating. Bringing along a few magic tricks and an ipod with The Final Countdown will also make this costume shine.

All in all, you can't miss with this costume this year because honestly, who is sick of hearing about this family and their hype? No one, that's who.

Who this costume is for:

Anyone who can never see a frozen banana the same way again
Those who consider The Final Countdown their theme song
Absolutely anyone who owns or has access to a segway
Cousins who are secretly (or not so) in love
Analrapists
The brave souls who are willing to wear nothing but jean cut offs
Basically anyone...

What you'll need:

About a gallon of blue paint
A bottomless martini
Preferably a seal
Knowledge of everyone's favorite dysfunctional family
Did I fail to mention a chicken dance? You need to know a chicken dance.

Rating: Easy

Kawaii Ojiisan Idea of the Year: Sailor Suit Old Man

2013-05-26T01:22:00.000-07:00

Can we start off the 2013 Halloween season with this guy? I think we should start off 2013 with this guy.

Meet "Sailor Suit Old Man," aka Hideaki Kobayashi aka GrowHair, a cosplay photographer who is famous in Japan (and all over the internet) for dressing up as a school girl every day and rocking it. What do we really know about this guy though? Is he a rock star? I wish. Is he a weird old guy who just happened to be a Tokyo notable? Definitely.

Kobayashi is a cosplay photographer who just happens to want to dress like a school girl all the time and lives the dream doing so. Nobody gets the least bit famous simply by being themselves so today I'd like to raise a glass (and this costume tribute) to this guy for being famous for being every bit of himself. If we learn anything from this guy, it's that school girls will flock to you if you have the confidence to put on a cute skirt.

Who this costume is for:

Anyone who dreams of cross-dressing
Everyone's grandfather

What you'll need:

A wild untamable beard (preferably braided and attached to wildly untamable sideburns)
THE cutest sailor suit school girl outfit
A repertoire of cute girly poses

Rating: Medium (can be a stretch for some)

Triple Bypass Idea of the Year: Honey Boo Boo

2012-10-26T13:44:00.005-07:00

I think it's safe to say that child beauty pageants as well as child obesity are both commonly considered odd, cruel, and very modern American forms of child abuse. However the combination of those two things feels so right when Honey Boo Boo is involved!

There are many beauty queens on television and probably even more child beauty queens at that. However, none of them are as famous or as big and brassy as Honey Boo Boo. But what I love most about Honey Boo Boo, especially for a costume, is that she always has a specific look to her. You can't think of a little girl in that frilly mess of a pink dress without thinking of none other than Honey Boo Boo and, as her mother has demonstrated, the look works just as well for adults!

She's become so iconic that even the thought of child obesity or child beauty queens will just bring her image up in my head. The look is overall so powerful that I don't doubt that the image of this costume will stick with people even during their drunken hangover on November 1st. This is especially true if anyone wanted to attempt to recreate her mother's look for Halloween.

I don't doubt that many men can pull off being Honey Boo Boo for Halloween, but for the most part this costume will work best for women of all sizes. I also think it would be a great costume for pregnant women who are really looking to shine!

Who this costume is for:

Ironic hipsters
Mother and daughter pairs
Fans of television drama
Ironic child obesity fighters

What you'll need:

Your weight in make-up
... and then some extra weight on your body
The gaudiest and shiniest frilly pink dress you can find
A tiara

Rating: Hard

Cuisinart Cordless Immersion Blender (Google Affiliate Ad)

Cuisinart Smart Stick Stainless Steel Hand Blender & Chopper (Google Affiliate Ad)

Pseudo-Political Idea of the Year: Clint Eastwood Vs. The Chair

2012-10-26T12:51:00.000-07:00

Political costumes can seem lame for those who just don't have a need or want to follow the circus that is American politics sometimes. However, what isn't lame is a Clint Eastwood costume aka the badass cowboy of Hollywood lore. Known for his notable roles in films such as Dirty Harry, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, Unforgiven, and A Fistful of Dollars... just to name a few. The problem with this is that none of these movies are particularly relevant to 2012. However a chair will fix any Clint Eastwood costume this year!

While Clint Eastwood shines in all the acting roles he's been in, thanks to his speech at the Republican National Convention, his claim to fame this year is now tied to this chair. Here is the speech in full so you can view it in all its glory (and see what all the fuss is about):

It doesn't matter if you're dressing up as a cowboy, boxing coach, or a Hmong food loving cranky neighbor. Adding a chair to your costume will take any old Clint Eastwood inspired garb to relevant times!

Who this costume is for:

Anyone who wants to reuse an old Clint Eastwood inspired costume
Someone looking for a badass political costume

What you'll need:

Maybe a Gran Torino
Mostly likely a cowboy hat
Definitely a chair (but not to sit on)

Rating: Easy

Best Movie of the Summer Idea of the Year: Moonrise Kingdom

2012-10-26T12:42:00.000-07:00

There are a surprisingly low number of movies this year that have been able to produce iconic looks for their characters. Sure Looper and Magic Mike may have been some of the more stand out films this year but do you really remember what they were wearing (or not wearing in the case of Magic Mike) as opposed to films like Black Swan and Drive that came out last year? We may not remember the plot of Drive in the future but we'll never stop associating that movie with that iconic scorpion jacket. Natalie Portman gave an unforgettable performance in Black Swan however, her make up and costume will give you chills to remember for decades. It's unfortunate I can't get that feeling from any movies that have been out this year!

The movie that comes the closest to a memorable wardrobe is none other than Wes Anderson's Moonrise Kingdom. Anderson is a man that always gives his characters a very unique iconic look and Moonrise Kingdom is no exception. You still see people galavanting around in red beanies and blue jumpsuits on Halloween so I wouldn't be too surprised if we saw a few Khaki Scouts this Halloween.

For those who have never seen Moonrise Kingdom, it's a heart warming tale about two of the most fabulously dressed kids who live in 60's and are trying to run away so they can be together. The costume's visibility does depend on who has seen the movie, however, Wes Anderson is no strange name to cinema so I wouldn't be surprised if this costume were instantly recognized and adored.

If you're looking to stay chic this Halloween and love 60's style just as much as I do then Suzy Bishop is a must for those who can find a cute little pink dress and a pair of saddle shoes! This is also a good chance for anyone who needs a good idea for a couples costume as well.

Who this costume is for:

Wes Anderson fans
Those who want to stay warm and chic on an October night
Anyone who is obsessed with 60's fashion but is looking to stay relevant to modern times

What you'll need:

An old boy scout uniform
A Raccoon hat (preferably vegan)
A cuffed pink dress (equip with a pink beret)
Saddle shoes

Rating: Medium

Unwelcome Photobomb Idea of the Year: This Stingray

2012-10-25T21:57:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite photos on the internet just came out this year and it's of these three women in this beautiful ocean scene being unfortunately photobombed by a stingray. I don't know what I like about this photo better, the Sting ray's expression or the expression of of horror on these women's faces at the possibility of being near the very creature that ended Steve Irwin's life.

This costume needs no explanation. If you're looking for an easy last minute costume then look no further! Costumes don't get easier than this and you'll literally be the predator of the party when you unsuspectedly photobomb ALL the photos!

Who this costume is for:

Anyone who wants to hug some ladies all night
Definitely for the photogenic (but also a good chance for the camera shy to come out of their shells)
Stingray lovers everywhere!

What you'll need:

A point grey and slimy tail
A triangular shaped body (with a cut out for your face)
Shocking and surprisingly comfortable facial expression

Rating: Easy

My Favorite Movie Idea of the Year: I'm a Cyborg But That's OK

2012-10-25T13:04:00.000-07:00

I'll admit I'm cheating a little because this movie was made in 2006 however, it wasn't released and distributed in the United States until this year and since there haven't been any movies this year that harbor "iconic looks," I think it's about time to play the Cyborg card.

It's true that I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK is one of my favorite, if not my favorite, Korean movies of all time. Rather than being overdramatic, the film is just a little kooky and, for the most part, you can understand the character's motivations. See it as sort of a love story between the Chief and McMurphy in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

The film is essentially about Korean Pop Star Rain and his struggles on how to help a girl, who thinks she's a Cyborg, get better. While at the same time, he's helping himself come out of his mental state. Though it's never clear why Korea Pop Star Rain was hospitalized, we get to know him as a carefree rabbit robot who steals souls and also as a normal person. The movie actually follows the female protagonist and her descent into robot-dom. However, her name is a bit complicated and Korean Pop Star Rain is so fun to write.

My favorite thing about this costume is that each character has an obvious look to them. If anyone has seen the movie then they will instantly recognize the cardboard bunny mask that Korean Pop Star Rain wears throughout the beginning of the movie of the movie. However, it's the little bow of hair that will make this costume genuinely unique. The female protagonist, Cha Young-goon, besides having guns for fingers, also has a very unique haircut that gives her character a standout crazy person look. I think there are added points to whoever can pull off her red factory outfit!

What you'll need:

For Korean Pop Star Rain

Off white jump suit
Bunny Ears
A pink welding mask
A stylish asian haircut complete with a bow on top

For the Cyborg

A tweed off-white frock
Bangs shorter than anyone is comfortable with
Fake teeth (preferably belonging to your grandma)
Hi-top sneakers
Finger guns

Who this costume is for:

Couples that are fans of Park Chan-wook... or Cyborgs
Men with perfectly curled hair
Women with a slight twinkle for danger

Rating: Medium

Political Idea of the Year: Romney-isms

2012-10-17T18:46:00.000-07:00

Though it is unsure how history will look back on Mitt Romney's political campaign but right now history sees it as a visual-fest of memes. So many memes! While these memes may not last past the election, they're a good way to keep yourself classy this halloween by reusing maybe an old suit or prom tuxedo while carrying a binder full of women in case you don't end up with a date. Let's start with my favorite:

Homeless Big Bird

What a wonderful way to express the 1% kicking the 99% to the ground than with Mitt Romney and his nemesis Big Bird. This meme stemmed from a comment that the governor made about halting subsidiaries to PBS in effort to cut spending and get the country out of its massive debt. However he called out Big Bird specifically in this quote: "I like PBS, I love Big Bird. Actually like you, too. But I'm not going to -- I'm not going to keep on spending money on things to borrow money from China to pay for." This sparked the wonderful internet phenomenon as Homeless Big Bird because honestly, who the hell calls out Big Bird for being a big spender and a main attributor to our country's budget shortfalls?

While plenty of Big Bird costume are, in fact, available on the rack. Nothing will stop you from putting your individual unique homeless flair on it. You can also partner up with someone dressed as Mitt and have him kick you down a little.

Binders Full of Women

On the subject of rectifying inequality in the workplace, Romney takes it back old school and proudly admitted to putting together "binders full of women" when there weren't enough female applicants applying to cabinet positions. However, this turned out to be untrue and these "binders full of women" were actually put together by women's groups for whoever would win the election. All Romney did was hire a woman and basically tried to take credit for the work of women's group that put together these fantastic binders.

No matter how large this binder meme has blown up, nothing will be more popular than you at a party with binders full of women. Luckily, Urban Outfitters has some pretty awesome ones for sale. However you get women into these binders though is all up to the imagination.

As more things come flying out of Mitt Romney's mouth, the longer this list may get so be sure to check back for updated Romney-isms (or other costume ideas, that's cool too).

Who this costume is for:

Anyone with an old suit
Mormons
Sesame Street enthusiasts (and alternatively homeless enthusiasts)
Someone with an ungodly amount of binders (3 will do)

What you'll need:

For Homeless Big Bird

It pains me to say this but... a Big Bird costume
Clothes that have been marinated in the outdoors
A buddy in a suit stomping on you

For Binders Full of Women

Obviously binders (preferably full of women)
Millions of the womens
Orange tinted lotion for the right tan
Slick back old man hair with a glob of white strands

Rating: Easy

Oppa Dance Idea of the Year: Gangnam Style

2012-08-20T14:17:00.000-07:00

I'm not saying you've been living in a hole if you've never heard of Gangnam style but it has been in Time, ABC, CBC , The Atlantic and pretty much all of the internetz (don't ask why this is news). While this parody video may be the flavor of the week in terms of viral music videos, who doesn't want to be a prissy Korean horse rider for a day and show some real swag? Thus Gangnam style is joining my list of halloween costumes for 2012, to which is there is only one so far (gosh I really need to get moving on these).

It's almost humanly impossible to sit down and not watch this video more than once. T-Pain was the one to say it best when he tweeted "Words cannot even describe how amazing this video is." While I love this video to death, I think it's surprising to everyone that the only Korean song to make a mark outside of Korea is actually a song that makes fun of Korea.

Gangnam is a small neighborhood in Seoul that is renown for its extreme wealth (approximately $84 billion) and equally arrogant attitude. This neighborhood (and probably much of Seoul) is also known for their ability to not only be rich but know how to look rich by overspending on conspicuous luxuries. The video itself is trying to capture the ridiculousness of that materialism that we all secretly know exists among the best of us (but especially in Gangnam). Oh subtle social commentary disguised as bling and swag, you are nothing short of awesome!

How hard can it be to recreate a parody of a parody video? Well it's just as easy as a parody-ception. All of it starts with a suit, slick back hair, some black-as-the-night sunglasses with gold trimmings of course, hoards of lovely ladies, and a extra large bucket full of not-caring-what-you-look-like-when-doing-the-horse-dance.

In the event that the horse dance is too hard then I recommend using an actual horse as an accompaniment to your costume. Not only will the prop work for conveying your costume but these things will work wonders for your dancing legs and might prove as proper transportation as well. I also recommend trying out the powder pink suit with this idea.

Not only is this costume very versatile but one of the best places it translates well (if not better) to is on the toilet. No one can blame you for rapping in the toilet if you're dressed liked PSY. At that point, it just becomes common sense.

What makes Gangnam style better than toting around a giant horse is sharing this sensation with all your closest friends. Especially if those friends happen to have orange hair and or bob haircuts. Just slap an electric yellow suit on them and the town is your's for the night.

... And if you're lucky enough to have a friend that will accompany you to elevators dressed as the guy with the green fish tail shirt and floral capri pants then you have a friend for life. No question.

GIF courtesy of our friends at ginopiece.com

Who this costume is for:

Anyone looking to dance all night in style
Rich horse riders
Regular horse riders
Korean boys looking show off some swag

What you'll need:

A very stylish black suit equip with bow tie
Some killer riding/dancing shoes
Very supportive friends with appropriate hair cuts or cowboy hats
Probably a horse

Rating: Easy

Audrey Brooke Tony Wide Calf Boot - Brown (Google Affiliate Ad)

Fusion Marriage Idea of the Year: Gay Royal Wedding

2011-10-27T21:22:00.000-07:00

I have to admit I'm pretty sick of hearing about the Royal Wedding, even after the fact. I know this event only happens every once in a blue moon, but there's just so much more interesting things in the world to report on rather than someone's boring wedding. However, what I'm not sick of hearing about though is gay marriage.

So this is me recognizing that the royal wedding is a significant event that happened this year by fusing it with another marriage event of equal or possibly greater importance that also happened this year: the legalization of gay marriage.

As a (fictional) gay man once said "Eat your heart out Kate Middleton!"

The british monarchy may not give us a gay royal wedding for years to come but it doesn't mean that we can't kill two birds with one stone this halloween and class it up as Will & Nate or Kate & Jill.

Maybe someday gay royals.... maybe someday.

Speaking of the royal wedding, another great spinoff idea from that event would the Princess Beatrice Hat Meme.

How could we forget the best part of the wedding?

Or for the fact of the matter... anyone with a Princess Beatrice Hat Meme.

The situation room never looked so good.

My personal favorite

No one can deny that the royal wedding may provide some of the most relevant and classiest costumes of the year. So take advantage of the slew of ideas this lovely union provides (as well as the new gay marriage legislation)!

Who this costume is for:

Happy or unhappy (gay) couples alike!
Huge fans of the Princess Beatrice Phenomenon
Anyone who wants to add a spaghetti monster of a hat to their costume
Those looking to class it up this year!

What you'll need:

Some major princely garments
A fine lacey white dress
Basically a pound of spaghetti wrapped in pink fabric
A willing (or unwilling) partner

Rating: Easy

Newsgasm Idea of the Year: Any Fallen Dictator

2011-10-15T14:14:00.000-07:00

Fallen dictators are all the rage in the news this year. Reporters just simply jumped on them as if they were Perez Hilton when he first discovered celebrities (Squirrel!). If you've been living in a CNN-free world then please let this angry birds video enlighten you on the situation.

Angry Birds illustrates the defining characteristic of the dictators (even they gave up on Mubarak).

Unrest in the world this year has lead countless revolutions across the globe, causing dictators to flee from fear of wrinkling their suits.

The first little piggy is no other than Ben Ali from Tunisia who is only the second president of the country but has kept that position since 1987. Out of all the dictators history has to offer, he is one of the most toned down and doesn't even sport a unique dictator hairstyle or facial hairstyle. Pulling this costume off would mean that you either need to be around a bunch of news junkies or wear a bright and obvious sash.

The purple screams dictator.

Although if Ben Ali isn't quite a face that history will remember then Hosni Mubarak definitely won't be even though his resume is straight out out of a superhero flick.

See the resemblance?

Unfortunately, aside from his penguin-like features, there's not much that distinctive about Hosni Mubarak. Even Angry Birds gave up on him and added an Egyptian crown for good measure. However, it doesn't hurt to have a pinstriped suit with "Hosni Mubarak" letters down the stripes to illustrate this costume.

This is how real pimps do it.

While Mubarak and Ali were quite the evil dictators, the crown of Miss 21st Century dictators has to go to Muammur Gaddafi. Not only was he a ruthless leader (and by far the hardest one to take down), he also has a unique enough style and persona for anyone to recognize.

Who knew dictators could be so fabulous?

From the neck up, Gaddafi is already vastly recognizable with his unkempt grease curls and cartoonish facial features but from the neck down is another story.

This costume mostly consists of putting glue on a sheet and rolling around on rainbows.

Not only is Gaddafi a ruthless throne-hogger but he's almost just as famous for the flamboyant garbs he always sports. Even his military uniform could only serve as camouflage in the magical world of My Little Pony.

Who this costume is for:

Avid fans of world politics
Middle aged men with villain-like features
People who love rolling around on rainbows

What you need:

For the most part, an impeccable suit
Sashes and medals
An Egyptian crown won't hurt
A fabric in every color
The circular hat is a must!

Rating: Easy

Baby Mama Idea of the Year: Pregnant Beyonce

2011-10-02T23:01:00.000-07:00

Pregnant ladies around the world can rejoice because this year there is a classy, easy, and enjoyable costume for all the baby mamas: Pregnant Beyonce.

What better way to announce it than on NATIONAL TELEVISION.

The full outfit.

Everyone is more than excited for the pop diva and her husband to have their first child but no one is more excited than the pregnant women who are sick of being Kim Jong Il for Halloween again.

See the resemblance?

Or even a pregnant Britney Spears...

Classy as always.

While we're happy for the star studded couple we're really just happy that pregnant women everywhere have an excuse to dress up as a classy lady this Halloween and be a star themselves. How often does that happen really? Most importantly, remember that your costume end up affecting your children later when they see the pregnant pictures.

Baby Kim Jong Il approves of the Beyonce costume.

What you'll need:

A baby bump from any trimester
A handsome husband in a tuxedo
Beautiful orange gown
Enough class and bling to host a gala

Who this costume is for:

Those looking for a great costume while pregnant
Any Beyonce lover
Anyone with a ton of orange fabric they need to get rid of

Rating: Easy (besides the pregnant part)

Mother Monster Idea of the Year: The Many Colors of Lady Gaga

2011-10-02T22:08:00.000-07:00

Lady Gaga has been especially colorful this year and it reminds of none other than the Power Rangers. So if you have enough fabulous friends to dance the night away with then I would love to see some Gaga Rangers this year. Here are some samples of what I mean:

Pink Gaga Ranger

Purple Gaga Ranger

Green Gaga Ranger

Blue Gaga Ranger

Red Gaga Ranger

Yellow Gaga Ranger

Black Leather Gaga Ranger

Evil Three Headed Villain Gaga

With Gaga's repertoire of looks from just this year alone, the possibilities for Gaga Ranger outfits are pretty much endless. Lady Gaga knows this herself and has even capitalized on the idea by selling mass produced Halloween costumes on her website. However Mother Monster herself hasn't produced any 2011 looks for anyone to adorn so stay relevant and rock the most current looks to shy away from the Gaga Halloween crowd this year. If Lady Gaga isn't enough, there's always the option of going as the Power Rangers of Pop meme.

Oh Britney, you's so sexy.

What you'll need:

A circus troupe of fabulous friends
Multi-colored wigs
Possible multiple heads
A year's supply of eyeliner
Enough leather to put you on PETA's radar

Who this costume is for:

Pop Culture Lovers
The creme de la creme of Little Monsters
Wig collectors
Professional leather workers

Rating: Tough

Cooking Idea of the Year: Epic Meal Time

2011-10-02T17:03:00.000-07:00

Epic Meal Time is a YouTube cooking show which comes up with weekly meals that could feed an entire African village. For a year. Garnishing millions of views every week, the Epic Meal Time gang is known for their signature high-calorie, high-vulgar, and high-testosterone video clips.

Eat your heart out Paula Dean.

Obsessed Dancer Idea of the Year: Black Swan

2011-09-20T23:05:00.000-07:00

Never has the bleeding art of ballet been so scary and yet so glamourous than in Black Swan. This year has housed many a horror film, torture porn, and dance flick however nothing seems to stand out as much as this film. No one will recognize you as a character from Step Up 3D or even as the iconic roles from Bonnie & Clyde vs. Dracula (yes this is real) as much as the infamous Black Swan.

oh hello fabulous

For those who don't know, Black Swan is a psychological tale of a young Natalie Portman's spiral into insanity over the lead role in Swan Lake. This self-inflicted mental obsession leads poor Natalie into such shenanigans as drugs, lesbian sex, fists fights with her mom, and eventually... knife fights with her pretend self. All the while she shows off that she is a really awesome dancer so all is forgiven.

This movie not only got a lot of buzz (mostly for the girl-on-girl sex scene) but it was also able to do what most movies can't, Black Swan managed to create an iconic look that will forever be embed in our minds. Whenever we see those swan wing eyes we will think of nothing but Natalie Portman's mental spiraling down through the depths of obsession and that's really what will make this costume shine.

Yin

...and sexy Yang

This costume may not be the most original idea this Halloween but it will surely be the most iconic. You definitely won't find this one on the rack so the real race is to be the best swan queen of them all (just a small task for everyone to obsess over). However Robert Downy Jr. may have beaten you in that race already...

Oh RJD, when are you not adorable?

What you'll need:

A professional makeup artist
A figure that looks like it couldn't bear to house any actual flesh on your bones
Feathers. Lots and lots of feathers galore!
Ballet gear
Mystifying obsessive tendencies
Schizophrenia can only add to this costume!

Who this costume is for:

Hot young lesbian couples (or just really really good friends)
Jim Carry (obviously)
Dancers who already own most of this costume
Good friends of professional makeup artists

Rating: Tough

Hacktivist Idea of the Year: Anonymous

2011-09-18T17:27:00.000-07:00

Anonymous, an online civil activist group, has picked up the slack with our favorite borderline albino, Julian Assange (WikiLeaks), dancing away into oblivion.

The world just can’t seem to catch a break. Financial troubles, natural disasters, and famine haven’t discriminated amongst the global population. This costume is perfect for anyone who’s discontent with the status quo, but has reservations about committing to a cause they know little about.

No introduction needed.

The best part of dressing as Anonymous is the ability to bring relevance to costumes/clothes from your earlier years. Hopped on the V for Vendetta bandwagon? Aspired to be Green Man from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia? Looking for an occasion to wear an ill-fitting suit that was bought from you before puberty struck?

Anonymous with a 4chan flair

Don't be the voice of a silent generation but rather a loud voice in a faceless generation. Show your support for the underground renegades this halloween and impress those who are most important with your world knowledge.

What you’ll need:

A suit (one that you’d be okay with if it were stained by the “spirits” during Halloween celebrations)
Fervor to motivate change in the world (even if you don’t have any ideas to contribute)

Who this costume is for:

Anyone looking to recycle the suit their parents bought for them to look presentable at a family reunion
Social activists with (or without) a cause

Rating: Easy

Dragception Idea of the Year: Jo Calderone

2011-09-18T17:04:00.000-07:00

Jo Calderone provides the best opportunity for “dragception” there has ever been in years. How many people can say they’re a man dressed as a woman dressed as a man? Or even a woman dressed as a man that's actually a woman? It’s enough to make your head spin.

So lovely.

Lady Gaga is such a iconic modern pop figure that she makes for a brilliant costume every year and every season. Her most talked about outfit (or stage act) this year is none other than Mr. Calderone. Rather than running into the blonde glitzy pop star clone army this halloween, be a pop star in disguise and shine in the niche shadows of those who are in the know about Jo Calderone.

Low key glamour is the way to go!

This costume is for the ambitious hair-gel owner this halloween. Not only does it require at least a pound of styling products but flair, personality, and little quirks are a must for the role to really come to life. If you're already looking for a Lady Gaga costume, then this is the one to strive for (although the meat dress is my second favorite option).

Another great reason to love Lady Gaga (unless you're PETA).

What you'll need:

Italian good looks

A 3lb bucket of hair-gel

A suit so skinny that Michael Jackson would proud to wear it

Cigarettes galore!

Never forget the plain white tee

Who this costume is for:

The most ambitious of little monsters
New York Italian men who are looking for an easy costume
People who need to get rid of all their hair products

Rating: Medium (could be more or less of a stretch for some people)

Oscar Idea of the Year: The Many Faces of James Franco

2011-03-01T18:03:00.000-08:00

He may not be a very memorable Oscar host but James Franco has already created many memorable characters in his short career and what better year is there to pay an ode to this very odd actor than the year he gets nominated for a plethora (22 to be exact) of awards that have nothing to do with MTV.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? James Franco's boobs.

Within Franco's repertoire there's a man that represents a man within all of us. Whether it's the adventurous amputee man, the tattooed hillbilly man, or the pillow-loving man, there's something Franco has done in his career that will match that classy man inside you.

My personal favorite

James as our adventurous future amputee!

The beauty of James Franco costumes is that they could also be potential couples costumes for all the ladies that want in on the James Franco action. If you're tired of just having a pillow for a date, why not include a Tina Fey to your threesome? Maybe you need a Mila Kunis to call that tattoo on your chest a home? Or perhaps a Natalie Portman to help you save a Princess?

Always a ladies man

... and sometimes a lady as well!

In case you forgot, a short and somewhat complete list of recent James Franco's roles:

Occasionally appearing as Himself in Knocked Up, 30 Rock and the 83rd Academy Awards
Star stoner Saul Silver in Pineapple Express (although his premiere outfit for the movie is way cooler)
Harvey Milk's bf Scott Smith in Milk (another great couple costume idea although not the most timely)
Appearing as almost Himself as General Hospital's eccentric artist/photographer/serial killer Franco
The government secret holding Thomas Felton in Date Night
Leader of the Beat generation Allen Ginsberg in Howl
Role of the century as adventurous hiker/rock climber Aron Ralston in 127 Hours
Galant Prince Fabious in the upcoming film Your Highness
Last but not least... some unknown role in a Planet of the Apes reboot

I know I left some out but really... who's going to remember one of the many guys Julia Roberts had googly eyes for in Eat, Pray, Love? ... among many other forgettable moments in James Franco's filmography. Although if I did leave out a super major role, please let me know :)

What you'll need (generally speaking):

4 day old scruff (although, for some of you, the time may vary to achieve the perfect amount of scruff)
Short hair that really can't be tamed
Eyes that always look tired whether it's tired-hungry, tired-angry, or tired-excited.
Mostly, but not always, disheveled clothes

Who this costume is for:

Guys with forever messy hair
People not afraid to wear a wig or profess their love to a body pillow
People who already have most of this costume in their closet

Rating: Easy