The Brighter Side

The Last Jedi

2017-10-13T13:51:00.000-05:00

So we've been keeping very hush hush over here about whats been in the works. The cat is finally out of the bag and we're happy to announce that the Final (Miller) Jedi will premier in January 2018

2 months

2016-09-28T17:14:00.002-05:00

Charlotte is just the sweetest baby. She's a whopping 10 pounds and has grown to 22 inches.

She (like most 3rd children I'm sure) seems so easygoing and has made going from 2 to 3 kids so smooth. She sleeps through the night and has been my least painful nurser (moms-you know) seriously though, not once has there been a single issue, which is SO nice. Like Isabella she has lost all her hair and is starting new.

She is freakishly observant for a 2 month old, watching her big sisters so intently, and listening and responding to our cues. It's so cute.

Did I mention that she sleeps? It's glorious. She usually goes down between 8-9 and wakes to eat about 5-6 then sleeps again until 8-9. Waking happy!

Charlotte is easy to take on our adventures and loves being worn in her wrap. This month we went strawberry picking with some friends.

She still catnaps throughout the day and isn't on a set schedule which works out perfectly with our lives because no two consecutive days look the same. However she loves to cuddle on me when she sleeps.

About halfway through the month we transitioned to size 1 diapers (She's tiny) and she still has no interest in a pacifier or bottle. But for now thats ok. She loves to lay on the daybed in the afternoon so we can spy on her sisters playing outside.

We're pretty smitten with this sweet thing and I can't imagine life without her!

1 month

2016-08-16T21:44:00.000-05:00

*disclaimer-I am terribly behind on writing this, I've been to busy cuddling my baby*

Charlotte or affectionately referred to in our house as Charley Beth has been such an amazing baby. She sleeps through the night, most nights, if she does wake its once and is quick to eat and go back down. She usually sleeps from 8 or 9pm to 5 or 6am eats and then sleeps till 8 or 9am.

her first night home

Her favorite place to sleep is cuddled up against me and I don't care if it spoils her, they grow up to fast! I like it!

Since she was 13 days past due, she came out looking like she had soaked too long in the bath and this first month was spent slathering coconut oil on her skin and resisting the urge to peel dry flaking skin!

Charley is super chill to wake, she wiggles a little, throws her arms up while curling in her leg in one rapid motion then begins to peak her eyes open.

She is already holding her head up and started lifting it at a day old. I guess those extra 2 weeks inside gave her time to develop some sure strength.

She's pretty cool with chaos, going with the flow of being out of the house at 3 days old, having 2 older sisters who are obsessed with her and learning to sleep whenever she can amidst the crazy.

This happened while Bella was rattling half a dozen jingly toys and Addy was singing

Oh and those big sisters are pretty good at baby holding already. And Charlotte doesn't seem to mind a bit.

We chose to forgo the hospital bath to give Charlotte her first bath as a family. She loved it and the bigger girls loved helping and being a part of it.

Some other fun things that happened this month:

First Easter

met great grandpa

First photoshoot

I feel so blessed by her sweet little presence in our family and am so thankful that she is healthy and happy. Charlotte is such a good baby and after her big sisters I am SO appreciative of that. She's so sweet and an answer to prayer!

Charlotte Elizabeth Miller-A Birth Story

2016-05-17T22:23:00.002-05:00

She is here, She is perfect, she is a miracle and the answer to prayers I didn't have to words to pray.

How can it be that over a month has passed since we welcomed our dear girl? I just want to slow down time. To be able to take more deep breaths and bask in the newness of her, the tininess of her toes and the sweet way her lower lip quivers when she cries. It's true what they say, that with each baby time moves faster; it doesn't really, but, you get less time one on one with each of them, so I fully believe that because your time is sparse you appreciate the baby stage more!

Jared and I took notes of the boring details while I was in labor and I took my time processing all of the emotions that accompany the experience. I'm finally in a place where I'm ready to stop hoarding the blessing and share what came to be our but mostly her story! Because who am I to keep it? Sharing a miracle doesn't diminish the sanctity of it, but multiplies it. And I'm fully aware that I'm currently cuddling my third little miracle in my arms, and the love and gratitude is overwhelming. I can't think on it too long because it reminds me how little I deserve it.

Wednesday March 23 we had our home school community day. I taught to distract myself from being almost 2 weeks over due. It went well. My mind was thoroughly distracted for 3 hours and as soon as I sat down in the van to drive home my body decided to catch me up on what it had been doing the last three hours. I felt cramping and contractions but they weren't anything that made me take note so home we went. On the way I called Jared to let him know that I thought labor was starting so he came home from the office and got home just shortly after we did. The rest of the afternoon I spent bouncing on a yoga ball, taking warm baths, baking and attempting to watch movies cuddled up with the girls since I knew it was all about to change.

After Addiston and Isabella were in bed my contractions got stronger but they were still 7-10 minutes apart. I was in obvious pain but didn't even want to call the doctor because with trying to VBAC I knew the only thing they would say was to go to the hospital and I wasn't going anywhere until I was positive it was time to have this baby. That night was pretty much a blur, I tried to rest. I slept in 5 minute increments, but tried to stay quiet so Jared could get as much sleep as possible. He was up with me several times, getting water and snacks and rubbing my back.

By the time the sun was up Thursday we both knew that this was it and called the parents. Mine were already planning to come down that day for the back-up c-section scheduled for friday. So they might have hurried a little more but were already prepped and ready. Lots of counter pressure, yoga ball bouncing and a few ineffectual hot showers later I called it. It was noon and Contractions were 3-4 minutes apart and made it difficult to stand or breathe through them. My parents were still a few hours out so I called my friend Kari (who was 37 weeks pregnant herself) she and her daughter came over to hold down the fort till my parents arrived.

Last shot as a family of 4

Jared and I arrived at the hospital at 1:15. I got my oh-so-stylish gown and was hooked up to a monitor. I was well into active labor with HARD contractions now coming every 2-3 minutes. Jared and I took guesses as to how dilated I was (6&7) and we were both way wrong, I was only at a 3. I was so upset, I had been laboring for almost a day and was only a 3. I hadn't progressed from 1cm, 50% effaced since 37 weeks so we agreed that progress was progress and at that point were excited that no matter what we were leaving the hospital with our baby, one way or another. Since we were attempting a VBAC I had to be hooked up to monitors continually, basically meaning I had a three foot tether to my bed. I paced, Jared brought my yoga ball, I did squats, leaned over the bed and did lots of deep breathing, while Jared spent the larger part of the next several hours applying counter pressure to my hips during every contractions. Four hours later I finally let the nurse check me again, contractions weren't getting any closer but they were so much stronger. She said she could feel scar tissue on my cervix that basically needed to tear in order for me to fully dilate. At 5pm I was 4cm, 100% effaced and -1 station. I was discouraged. I didn't know how much longer I could go and didn't believe my body would do what it should and that I might be looking at my third c-section.

I don't remember doing much more than cry for the next hour strait, I was in PAIN, I was afraid of another surgery, I just wanted to hold my baby. Jared kept encouraging me and helping me as much as he could, but I could tell he was running out of steam too. I had been laboring on a 3 foot leash for 4 hours, and had only progressed one lousy centimeter. My body was trying to go into transition but couldn't because of a residual scar tissue from a decade ago. My body was working overtime trying to break the scar tissue and it was then that I told Jared I didn't think I could do it, that I thought my body just wasn't cut out for having babies and that I wanted to go ahead and get an epidural so that if I had to have a c-section I would be ready. He let the hospital staff know, and about an hour later I was getting poked with a foot long needle.

We had a sweet nurse who had several years experience under her belt and was so respectful of me and my birth plan. She could tell how discouraged I was getting and lingered in the room a little longer than normal when she was checking the babies vitals. She walked over to the infant bed in the corner and began to remove the sterile seal. She got out a blanket from the drawer under it, opened the infant blood pressure cuff and set out a little pink and blue stripped hat, she looked at me and said, "you're going to do this, I don't break this seal unless a baby is going to use this bed," (c-section babies don't use the in-room bed, they get one in the O.R.) I sarcastically chuckled, I didn't have the energy to come up with a witty comment. She said, "I've been doing this a long time and trust me I know when a baby is coming on their own and when we've got to call the doctor to go in and get 'em" For the first time since checking into the hospital I believed that I could do this and that I would get to avoid another c-section.

An hour later my doctor stopped by on her way out of the office and a new nurse (shift change) came to check me again, I was now to 6cm. I was in shock. It took me 24 hours to dilate from a 1 to a 3 and four hours to go from 3 to 4 and then in an hour I progressed from a 4 to a 6, 2cm in 1 hour was an answer to my prayers! Ever since we had the post-due-date ultrasound and found out about the mass in Charlotte's chest I had been tense, (I had actually regressed in effacement from week 40 to 41 and my doctor said that was normal given the situation) I'm not exactly an easy going person by nature but fearing whats going to happen when my baby was finally born made me even less at ease. Jared had been saying for almost a month that if I would just relax that my body would probably do it's thing and I'd be able to go it labor. Well I guess he was right. For the first time in a month, thanks to the epidural, I was forced to relax and my body was able to do it's thing.

I was getting excited, at this point I fully believed that I would deliver my baby. I tried to relax as much as possible knowing that I'd need all the energy I could muster for the actual delivery.

Two hours later (9:30) I had dilated to an 8. My contractions were a minute apart and with each one Charlotte's heart rate would dip just a bit lower than they liked. From that point on I got to sport a not-at-all annoying oxygen mask.

The nurses stayed close after that. Half an hour later (10pm) I was at 9cm, My doctor was called, she only lives 10-15 minutes from the hospital so she had been at home (watching youtube music spoof videos) I asked to have the epidural turned off and my nurse thought I was crazy but I wanted to feel contractions and when to push. She reluctantly obliged.

By 10:15 I was fully dilated, and charlotte had apparently come down the birth canal hard and fast. People seemed to come from nowhere, there were spotlights and mirrors and extra nurses. My doctor wasn't there yet so one of the nurses helped me get set up and do a couple practice pushes. I wasn't feeling the full extent of my contractions yet but I could feel pressure and was able to help hold my legs up. My doctor literally ran in the room out of breath. She was just as excited as I was for this to finally be happening and ran to change, a few minutes later she was in front of me, gowned and masked. At 10:25 I started pushing. One of the nurses counted slower than I thought was possible with each contraction to keep me pushing for as long as possible. With each push I could feel more and more and that made it so much easier to know what to do. Jared held the oxygen mask on me so I could hold myself up to my legs and focus on pushing. My sweet doctor was literally my cheerleader, I don't think she stopped encouraging me for one minute. Between every push I just kept thanking God for this opportunity, I had wanted so badly to be able to deliver my baby myself and I was. Then the doctor said "give me one last good push" and at 10:43 on March 24, 2016 Charlotte Elizabeth was born.

It was surreal, I watched them clean out her, quivering little mouth (we later learned she had taken a big gulp of amniotic fluid on her way out) and place her damp little body on my chest. I was so relieved that she was crying, breathing on her own, without trouble, that she was pink, and I was able to hold her and pray over her. She was (and is) an answer to so many prayers!

The next hour was spent being stitched up (2nd degree tear) and annoying the nurses because I wouldn't let them take Charlotte to the nursery to be examined. I had to be separated from my first to girls for hours before I even got to hold them, I had my baby and I wasn't giving her up. They found the mobile scale and necessary instruments and brought them to us. She weighed 7lbs 7ozs, was 20 inches long. (small for being 2 weeks past due) and they got the cutest little foot prints.

After she was done being inspected, we swaddled her up and got to just be still. To watch her open her eyes and calmly look around, to breathe deep breaths, and hiccup, and cry soft little cries of a newborn who needs for nothing but is simply figuring out how to cry.

The next morning my parents brought Addiston and Isabella to meet their new little sister.

They were and still are smitten. Isabella declared that she was done being a little sister and that now she and Addy were twin big sisters. While in true Addiston fashion my firstborn just took it all in, beaming with pride.

The rest of the day was littered with vitals being checked, visitors, attempting to nurse (she didn't want to eat because her tummy was full of amniotic fluid) and attempts to rest. They did a chest x-ray of Charlotte in the late afternoon, it like the sonogram pre-birth was inconclusive.

We were told we could take her home that evening but we've done this before, were nervous about the mysterious mass in her chest, and our 3 year old still doesn't sleep through the night so we opted for another night at the hospital with nurses keeping a watchful eye on our girl and Jared and I attempting to sleep on 3" plastic mattresses.

Saturday morning we got to bring her home.

Sunday was Easter and because my parents were here to make breakfast and coffee and get the girls ready and because the sleep deprivation hadn't fully kicked in yet we went to church! (with a 3 day old!?!) And in true Easter fashion we all matched.

The rest of the week was spent anxiously awaiting her CT scan which was scheduled for friday and loving on our sweet new little one.

Friday came and early in the morning before Jared and I were fully functioning we were at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital waiting. Waiting for her name that she hadn't even learned yet to be called, for a test I didn't fully understand to be preformed, waiting for a sweet southern lady to give us instructions, waiting for an elderly st. nick-esque man to walk us s-l-o-w-l-y down the hall to the procedure room, waiting to feed a hungry baby in hopes that a milk coma would keep her still enough for the machines that we wouldn't have to sedate her 7 pound tiny body.

We had been told contrast wouldn't be necessary only to find out it was. I understood the reasoning why and we obliged, only to need to wait more. A pediatric nurse calling a nicu nurse to do the IV because your baby is tiny and new will slap you with a reality check like a cold wind in december. Standing in the corner of a tiny hospital room hearing her first scream of pain while they stick her is hard but the fear of whats on the other side of the test is harder. Jared helped hold her little body and spoke softly to her. After she was all set, I was given the go ahead to feed her to which I was so relieved because it meant I finally got to hold and comfort my baby.

After the milk coma ensued we watched as her tiny body which barely filled the head holder of the machines conveyor belt go in and out of what sounded like a malfunctioning rocket ignition.

Then we got to take her home. To wait.

We were told by the st. nick-esque man that it would probably be Monday before we heard anything, but that if we called our pediatrician and got her to call the hospital and bug them enough they may be able to get us results that day. So call our pediatrician, and bug her so that the effect would continue on up the medical food chain, we did.

A few hours later we received a call.

Her CT Scan had shown no mass, no signs of a mass and no inconsistencies. There were no need for follow-up or extra tests. She was perfectly healthy.

My mind couldn't grasp it.

In that moment my chest lightened. I hadn't realized it but I had been clinging to and cherishing each moment not for the beauty of the moment and her precious newness but for not knowing what the future held, for fear and maybe a little bit of hope. I had prayed, Jared had prayed, our family had prayed and our friends in our church, town, across the country and on the other side of the world had prayed, some even came into our home and anointed my very pregnant belly. And I shouldn't have been surprised when God answered those prayers! I don't have to fear for her future. Because He is faithful. And my tiny little mustard seed of faith was nothing compared to His faithfulness, and for that we are eternally grateful.

She is here, She is perfect, she is a miracle and the answer to prayers I didn't have to words to pray.

Seriously Over Due

2016-03-22T22:32:00.000-05:00

I apologize in advance for the random scatteredness of this post. My mind is scattered right now so it's a good reflection! ok, so where did we leave off? My days and weeks and insanely long pregnancy are all running together. Right now I'm 41 weeks and 4 days pregnant but hey it's almost midnight so lets be honest I'm gonna make it to 41 & 5, and can I honestly tell you I NEVER thought I'd be THIS pregnant?!? I hate to say it but I still feel ok physically but mentally/emotionally I'm sorta loosing it.

Thursday was my 41 week appointment and Jared came with me for moral support. I was still only 1cm dilated and my OB did another membrane sweep which incase you hadn't deduced did NOTHING! She offered to do a c-section the next day (they can't do a standard induction because I've had 2 previous c-sections) but Jared and I agreed before we ever went in that because there is already a mass which could potentially hinder her breathing we want to give her lungs as much time as possible to develop as possible. Since we weren't on board with a next day surgery they kept me for a Non Stress Test. It was pretty boring, and gave Jared and I a chance to breath and discuss more what we wanted to do with this labor/delivery.

After everything was given the all clear, we discussed when this little one would need to join us. I trust my OB and love that she takes into account my research, knowledge of my own body, hopes for the birth, and explains things from all sides so that we can make an informed decision together. Like I said Jared and I agreed that we wanted to allow this little bit to stay in as long as possible to which we discussed the risks of going past 40 and 41 weeks gestation, and that she was still ok with me trying to VBAC if I went into labor naturally, but that we can't medically induce because I've had previous c-sections, and it's just not safe to force unnaturally strong contractions with synthetic drugs on a uterus that has been previously opened (twice). We compromised and agreed for an extra ultrasound to check on the baby one more time.

In the mean time the girls' and I have done lots of walking, parks, the neighborhood, malls. I've been drinking weird teas, eating absurd amounts of pineapple and dates (look it up) and just about every other old wives tale there is to try to induce labor (except drink castor oil-I'm a little nervous about that one) The girls have enjoyed all the outings, and we even threw in a drive in movie this weekend to ease the constant activity. There was a double feature of Zootopia and Kung-Fu Panda 3 and with too many snacks was still only $20 for the whole family! STEAL!

A few laps around the gardens at Opry

my little family and at least a dozen pillows in the back of the van at the drive in

Well This morning was a follow up ultrasound to check on our little girl. We all went as a family, the girls thought it was pretty cool to see their little sister on the inside of me and it was a basic, short ultrasound so I knew they could handle it. The tech we had was not the best, she didn't check as much of the fun little stuff and was less informative than the others we've had. The mass is still there, but fluid levels look good still and blood flow from the placenta through umbilical cord was healthy. She took a practice breath almost right away which is a good sign and her heart rate was good. So with my doctors blessing I was allowed to leave and stay pregnant till at most Friday.

I'm scheduled for a c-section friday morning if I don't go into labor before then. So my sweet little family spent the day (seriously 6+ hours) walking with me so that maybe this little lady would come out. We hit a few stores, walked laps around a mall and then decided to join costco so we could walk laps there. The girls were TROOPERS and it made it SOOO much easier that Jared was with us. I had a few hours of contractions but after sitting down for dinner and then taking a short bath they've tapered off and here we are.

Right now I'm trying to wrap my head around potentially having to have a c-section simply because my body won't go into labor for one reason or another. It's easier to swallow after trying to labor or because your not medically allowed to labor but being cleared to VBAC and trying to go into labor and not is tough!

Her diaper bag is packed, although we may not get to bring her home from the hospital right away if she needs emergent surgery (which we are prepared to hear) My hospital bag is packed except the last minute toiletries, Hospital snacks are in the van, Stupid high tech baby monitor arrived today, and we put all the final touches on the nursery this weekend.

We're ready in every way possible.

Over due

2016-03-14T17:42:00.001-05:00

Oh hey due date, you're here, YAY, oh wait there you went, and here we are again, over due, waiting, wondering, psyching out our parents every time we call. (ok that last part is kinda fun)

When I was pregnant with Addiston I saw my due date come and go with much anxiety, I did everything in the book to try to go into labor, most of which just made me exhausted and uncomfortable. This time while I'm fully ready to meet our sweet little one I'm also ok waiting in comfort as opposed to making myself feel sick and tired, leaving myself with no energy to actually labor or deliver this little one.

I've had so many braxton hicks and false labor this pregnancy that Jared and I were convinced that this little one would make her debut early. Apparently she has other plans.

Last week I got a sitter for a day and had a quiet lunch, a mani/pedi, and went shopping for nothing I needed with NO KIDS. It was lovely and necessary, and now I'm ready to have a baby!

Final belly photo was taken (if I am pregnant in 2 more weeks I don't want proof)

1st trimester complete

2nd trimester complete

3rd trimester complete

Last Thursday was my 40 week OB appointment, I was technically 39weeks 6 days but who's counting (besides my doctor) Well at my appointment I randomly measured 33/34 weeks instead of 40 which called for an unscheduled ultrasound to check on baby girl. I've consistently measured right on or a week behind depending on how she's been positioned and I've gained weight steadily and a healthy amount (26 pounds) so there wasn't a huge cause for concern but when 2 nurses and a doctor were getting such a drastically small measurement they just wanted to check. She was nestled in my ribs causing her to measure small but she is really an appropriate size, approximately 7lbs 4oz according to what they can measure.

Friday was my due date and I spent the day at MOPS and shopping with my girls (trying to stay active and walk without exhausting myself) a few contractions but nothing to cause me to stop and take note led me to cook a pouty overly fancy dinner because for as long as I can remember cooking has been my happy place. So thankfully my 3 & 5 year old are good eaters because cilantro pesto seared mahi mahi, with a roasted red pepper sauce, and roasted brussel sprouts over parmesan grits were what was for dinner and all four of us cleaned our plates.

Saturday morning lead to 3 dozen muffins, poached eggs overtop of leftover parmesan grits with sautéed kale and red peppers. Loads and Loads of laundry and lots of family play time.

Saturday afternoon we received a call from my OB. She had come in on her off day to do some charting and had finally gotten a chance to review the full ultrasound. The tech was just suppose to confirm size and if she measured correctly let me leave which she did so I didn't think else. Well, During the ultrasound a 21x29mm mass was found in the right hemithorax (part of the chest) thats about a 1 square inch mass. Her heart is not deviated, and it appears lungs and diaphragm are functioning but that can't be fully confirmed until she's out and has to use them. This mass could be one of a few things: a small diaphragmatic hernia, CTAM, AV malformation or a bronchogenic cyst.

Most of these options would require surgery very very early in life. So we're trying to prepare ourselves and our girls for this as well. We're still processing and planning. I'm a bit of an emotional wreck but trying to prepare for labor/delivery and everything to come. I'm so thankful for the army of prayer warriors across 5 states we have on our side and the ones who gathered around us at the alter on Sunday morning.

We're praying for healing, wisdom for doctors and ourselves, and peace during this time. Not knowing what it is exactly is hard for my type A planner personality, but we're grateful for wrongly measuring small so the ultrasound was necessary so that we can know as much as possible before she's here.

Today I spent a fun day with the girls. We went to a fancy donut shop and spent too much money on the best donuts we've ever eaten, went shopping for all kid stuff and then visited the daddy at work where they sufficiently screwed up his electronic standing desk by playing with it non stop!

Full Term

2016-02-22T15:45:00.003-06:00

We are officially full term!

Little girl: consider this your eviction notice! It's been by far my most enjoyable pregnancy but I'm ready to meet you. Sleep on my stomach and not pee every 10 minutes!

I'm still able to do pretty much everything I need to and have gotten all of the baby stuff out, organized and washed. Her diaper bag is ready to go to the hospital, my bag is planned out, car seat ready and big sisters are over not fitting on my lap any more.

My Parents came two weeks ago and painted the nursery. They've helped with all dozen of their grandchildren's nurseries and I think it's so sweet. I offered to do the trim work along the ceiling and they had none of it, so 18 foot ceilings and all, they painted the whole room and even let Addiston help a bit.

she was pretty proud!!

I'll post more pictures when we finish it (hopefully next week) But the crib is now re-assembled and important things in place so if she comes (which she's welcome to) We're ready.

Jared also remodeled the laundry room for me for a Valentines present. We've done homemade presents for each other on valentines our whole relationship. When we were in college and had first started dating we both only worked part time and agreed we'd rather spend the money on a nice meal and make gifts than eat in the school cafeteria and buy gifts. That still rings true for us, so the tradition continues.

Before:

After:

More functional, appealing and a fun automatic light that turns on when you walk in the room!

Yay for capable husbands!

We also had our last big family outing before the baby comes, on Valentines day. Disney Live came to Nashville and Jared was able to get a great deal on tickets so we took the girls, who loved every minute.

They dressed up, swung glow stick wands around the whole show and enjoyed cheesy fries during intermission.

We had "spring break" mid winter from our homeschool group last week which I didn't realize but I really needed. It gave me a chance to focus on some stuff around the house and get all the little things in order for me to feel ready to have the baby. We also had a cleaning crew start last week which makes nesting A LOT easier. :) They'll come once a month and deep clean the whole house for at least a year. We'll reassess from there to see what life with three kids is like. It was perfect timing though because we hosted a baby shower for my friend Kari saturday (she's due a month after me) and it was so nice to not have to have half the party prep done!

This week is back to life as normal, school, playdates, meetings, and then a few fun things this weekend for my birthday, but more than anything it's a waiting game. I'm trying to be the calm pregnant lady who is cool with the kid staying in until I'm 42 weeks and ~~miserable~~ she's finally ready to come out but lets face facts: I have a 3 & 5 year old asking every day if she's ready to come out, I'm short and she's pretty much out of room and I've commenced all the old wives tales of walking, drinking special tea, eating spicy foods and hanging out on my yoga ball to try to help the process along! We're ready for you little one.

Stream of Consciousness

2016-02-22T15:17:00.000-06:00

Welp my steady string of almost regular blogging is shot. Holidays happened, they were great, I've been exhausted, I rarely remember what day it is, and frankly can't remember what happened when. I wrote this post a few weeks ago and forgot to push publish, so theres that.

Fun fact, I have 9 types of vinegar. I just got done prepping dinner which called for rice wine vinegar and of course it was the last one I picked up. And well, I have 9 vinegars, and I'm ok with that!

I jot down pregnancy memories here and there. On the back of a church bulletin, which later I probably throw away. In a journal with a thousand other ramblings most of which have nothing to do with this growing babe, and will be lost or forgotten until I die and my kids dig through my junk, and sporadically I write them on a cute piece of scrapbook paper hopefully to be added to a baby book later, but lets be honest, third kid, this blog probably is her baby book.

Not much excitement has happened in the pregnancy since I posted last. I pasted my three hour glucose test after failing my one hour which was such a relief considering I had convinced myself I certainly had gestational diabetes considering how tired I am. Guess my mom was right, having two kids and being pregnant is just that exhausting! The lovely phlebotomist busted a blood vessel in my arm on the last blood draw of my three hour and now over a month later the soreness and bruise have finally gone, luckily it's winter and long sleeves are a must so I didn't have to make up any fun stories about the green and blue bruise just under my elbow.

I'm just a smidge over a month away from this little girl being here and the least prepared I've been for any of my babies. I hear that it's normal to ready later and later with each child which is good, because for us it's true. My parents are coming next week to paint the nursery which will relieve a lot of mom guilt I'm feeling about my lack of preparedness. We're using the same bedding we've used for Addiston and Isabella (because I still LOVE it) plus a few new decorations so hopefully that'll all fall together quickly, since we've done it before. I was able to sort through ALL of our kids clothes recently. Since we didn't have them all properly sorted before we moved I literally went through all of them, the girls helped me sort, and attempted to try on clothes they thought were cute that happened to be 3 sizes too small, it was entertaining. I have 0-9 months sorted out in the closet yet to be washed (as I'm sure they'll smell like fresh paint after next week) and all larger sizes separated and labeled in our storage room. I even found some clothes I had forgotten about for Isabella so her wardrobe got a boost too.

We had the biggest snowstorm Nashville has seen on over a decade last week (or maybe 2 weeks ago?). 8 inches of snow in 24 hours is respectable even for Jared and I's northern selves. The girls and Dogs loved it. There was lots of comfort food, snowball fights, snow angels and a decent snowman.

The Best Part was that 3 days later it was 60 and the month long gross, dirty snow that we're all used to after a beautiful fresh winter wonderland melted away, turning our cute little creek into a river with semi-respectable rapids for a day or so. But a girl could get used to a snow storm like that!

We're trying to be intentional about spending time with the girls before the new baby comes. Random one on one trips to stores or to grab a snack, individual game time and random "dates" Addiston and I got to go to a special children's event at the symphony recently and She was so cute. She had perfect manners. She could have taught the adults in the box next to us a thing or two. It was precious and I swear sometimes she makes parenting easy. SOMETIMES!

Isabella and I got to sneak in some one on one time last night too, we went to the mall and rode the carousel (which we had all to ourselves) did some disney store shopping and topped it off with mini-cupcakes.

28 weeks

2015-12-23T05:27:00.000-06:00

Figured I'd get this down before I forget half of whats going on because... Pregnancy Brain is real my friends!

Our halls have been decked, presents are waiting under the tree and littles are anxiously awaiting tearing open gifts in a fraction of the time it took to wrap them.

We've been more intentional about participating in the season of advent this year as a family. We've been reading a nightly advent family devotional and progressively decorating the tree and house to participate in the anticipation of the coming of Christ. The girls' are getting it and it's so precious to hear their sweet childlike faith and wisdom remind me what it's all about.

The third trimester is here.

We've taken a break from all things baby prep for the holiday season, which after the move, the new car, the new job and wanting to stay on track homeschooling is, oh so NECESSARY!! But I have spurts of nesting where I clean like a maniac and cook freezer meals to store till after baby comes. I'm anticipating the new year and getting this little girl's nursery ready and washing all the little clothes and hopefully finishing unpacking the boxes that have been neglected in our storage room.
I'm excited to know little one in there is growing and things are looking good. I've still been feeling good, although getting slightly more uncomfortable, which I'm reminded of every night when I try to get comfortable. Luckily Jared doesn't mind the 4 extra pillows that have recently taken up residence in bed.

Friday, I had a doctors appointment and 1 hour glucose test, which I found out today I failed meaning I get to return to take the 3 hour glucose test in a few hours. (BLEH) I had gestational diabetes with Addiston and it seemed terrible because I already had food aversions, but as good as I've been feeling this time I honestly don't think it would be that bad to have it again this pregnancy. Don't get me wrong I don't welcome the hundreds of finger pricks but in the big scheme of things it's manageable. And do to the excitement (~~anxiety~~) about the follow up test, I'm up at 4am blogging (not eating-even though a pb&j sounds divine) instead of sleeping-lucky you!

Sunday when we were in our regular hurry to get all four of us dressed, ready, fed and in the car for our (we've been in the new house 3 months and still cant get used to the) 30 minute drive to church. I was loading up the van with breakfast items that hadn't been finished, make-up that still needed applying and little girl hair bows when I slipped. My cute leopard print ballet flats have nearly no traction and as I was reaching to put something on the console my feet just slipped out from under mean and my belly caught my fall on the edge of the seat and van. It hurt, startled me and Jared and led to a few hours of baby girl being chill (which is very unlike this growing little karate kid) I tried to take it easy the rest of the day sunday, but woke up Monday feeling extra sore, so I called the doctor who told me to head strait to Labor and delivery.

After a few hours of being monitored, they determined Baby and I were ok and that I should try to limit myself till the pain subsided. I had a few days of being sore and nervous but am feeling much better!

We're headed to my parent's house for Christmas and I'm super excited to see family and get to continue with our little family traditions. The girls' are at great ages for traveling and usually we can make it strait through only stopping once. I'm only a little annoyed that It's suppose to be in the 50s on Christmas day, in Cincinnati. I love that today it was 70 in Nashville and we played outside, but I go north for the holidays to get my white Christmas. (get it together mother nature) On the bright side, heavy winter clothes take up more space and require and extra suitcase, so here's to packing light for the trip!

Safe travels and Merry Christmas Friends!

Balance

2015-12-07T13:02:00.003-06:00

Balance y'all...I'm not finding it!

I have been so blessed this pregnancy. Save a little scare early on with a short stint on bed rest, this pregnancy has been great. I've felt wonderful, been able to eat whatever I want, (and more) and genuinely my only pregnancy symptom minus the shrinking wasteline is that I'm tired.

Life has finally started to slow down after the roller coaster that was summer! We feel settled into the house, most of the unpacking is done, we're calling a hiatus on all things house until after the new year when we plan to tackle the nursery and a few organizational things we'd like done before baby.

We're figuring out (slowly) a new house schedule (wood floors need to be cleaned A LOT), gifting the girls' swiffer dusters has been major help and letting the dogs enjoy the huge back yard! Homeschooling is going well. I've loved tutoring Addiston's Kindergarten class this semester and we're doing well with staying on track at home. Addiston is starting to read which for me is a double edged sword. The girl is a bookworm and would happily sit and let me read to her for HOURS every single day, which I love. So I'm thrilled that she is picking up some more on her own especially after we had a small stint of stubbornness and she decided she didn't want to read, but now that it's clicking I'm a little sad to see her grow up just a little more.

Jared's new job schedule still has us all confused. He works mostly 9:30-6:30 which is hard on the girls. By the time he gets home we have dinner and then start getting ready for bed. We do get to eat breakfast and dinner everyday as a family and I'm really enjoying this season of sitting and just chatting with the girls over meals before the new one arrives and we're distracted by crying and nursing schedules and lack of sleep. The girls miss having more play time with their dad, so we're trying to be intentional about carving out more weekend time as opposed to doing chores and running errands.

For the most part thats it in life right now. I'm in bed shortly after the girls every night, so Jared's getting in some reading, video games, and helping with dishes or laundry that I have left over from the day. But we're lucky to get in a run down of the day, much less a long talk. Luckily we have 2 date nights scheduled this month so we should get to catch up there, and we're taking a birthing class on saturdays, so long drives are anticipated! I've text a few friends here and there but pretty much unless I see people at church or our homeschool community day I've been MIA to just about every relationship I have :(

Last Month our college friends came to stay for a long weekend and oh my word the sweetness of 5 little girls playing!

(Praise the Lord for having someone who REALLY gets it!)

Jared and Jesse were college roommates, Amber and I hit it off first semester of Freshman year. We were married within months of each other and had our first 2 (4?) children in the same seasons, we are now embarking on homeschooling together and are all food hippies. A decade of friendship in and we laugh at how much life we've done together and how in a few short months we will have 6 daughters between us!

Last week we went to dinner with dear friends to find out that they are having a girl less than 1 month after we are. I'm so glad for a friend to do pregnancy with and a built in friend for our little girl!

I know there are seasons in life and I'm glad things are running smoothly for our family and household but being an pregnancy-exhausted extrovert is hard. When you yearn to go to dinner with friends, or sit and catch up over coffee but really all you want to do is sleep, your mind and body are at odds with each other! I'm hoping I get a small spurt of energy before this third little girl arrives to catch up with some friends and family over the holidays. In the mean time I'm clinging to forced outings and pop-in visitors!

Halfway (20 weeks)

2015-12-03T05:41:00.000-06:00

The Thursday I was 19 weeks and 6 days, a friend watched the girls so Jared could come to the doctor with me. We scheduled our appointment for the first one of the day so that he wouldn't be late to work. We had an anatomy scan first then a normal doctors appointment.

We both sat and tried to read our books while waiting to be called back. I'm not sure about Jared but I'm pretty sure I re-read the same 2 paragraphs 3 times because I couldn't focus through the excitement.

We had the super calm, quiet, unexcitable ultrasound tech. She without inflection or expression measured the little one growing inside me. snapped pictures, of things I didn't recognize. (at least a dozen ultrasounds into this motherhood journey and I'm lucky to spot a profile and the spine maybe a heartbeat) I was able to see a four-chamber heart beating. But other than that Jared and I spent 20 minutes giving each other questioning looks as my nerves went nuts. Eventually she asked if we wanted to know the sex-we did!

We got an all clear from the doctor who said the little one was perfectly healthy and that things were progressing just as they should. Little one is measuring about a day behind where she should but as far as we're concerned thats perfect.

20 weeks

The following Saturday we threw a combined house warming/gender reveal party to let our friends see the new house and let our girls discover along with our friends the gender of our newest little one.

I had saved one of our larger moving boxes and filled it with colored balloons, the girls spent all week saying blue balloons means it's a brother, pink means a sister. For the most part they were ok with either except one threat to not love a brother as much as a sister.

IT'S A GIRL!!

They are thrilled and so are we!!

16 weeks

2015-11-14T16:12:00.002-06:00

Life has been settling down recently.

We're getting established in the new house. The kitchen, girls room, our room and toys are done. So ya know the high priorities.

I'm enjoying being back in the swing of things, off bed rest and SLOWLY building back up to normal activity.

I've started feeling regular movement. Jared and Isabella have felt the baby move too. Addiston claims that she has but I'm pretty sure she just felt my stomach growl. No worries, it'll happen.

I got to take the girls with me to the doctor for the first time this week. I go so frequently that I wanted them to see where I was and not be curious or frustrated that they don't get to go with me frequently. This was my 5th appointment (Most women have only been once or twice at this point) and the first time I wasn't getting internal monitoring or giving copious amounts of blood so I figured it was now or never to bring the girls.

As expected they thought it was boring. Lots of stuff they aren't suppose to touch, waiting, being quiet, waiting, being patient. They thought it was cool for half a second that they got to hear the babies heart beat but that was the highlight of their hour with me and thankfully I don't think they'll be begging to come back anytime soon.

14 Weeks & Vegas

2015-10-10T08:45:00.000-05:00

The day I was officially 14 weeks, we were a day past when we were suppose to close on our house, and taking a weekend trip to vegas with Jared's new company.

Being freshly sprung from bedrest and still recovering from, new car, new job and house in Limbo referring to us as stressed was a HUGE understatement. The trip was probably the worst timing possible but oh so necessary. Having a reason to put on make up and wearing something besides yoga pants was just an added bonus!

Small talk about fantasy football isn't my forte, (and thank the lord neither is it Jared's) but we love to travel, see new sights and eat! All of which Vegas provided.

The highlights of the trip included, eating brunch at the top of the stratosphere:

The food and the views were spectacular.

Getting to go to Vladimir Kush and Chihuly (two of my favorite artists) galleries on the same day!

Reading an entire book (Go set a watchman) Poolside

Eating Gordon Ramsay's famous Beef Wellington!

YES! Worth the hype!!

And the appearance of the bump! (earlier than any of my other pregnancies)

14 weeks 3 days Baby the size of a Lemon

We spent most of our time in work functions and trying not to stress about the house closing still being in limbo! We played 0.17 on penny slots (just to say we gambled in vegas) and took more pictures of things we thought the girls would find interesting than things we were actually interested in.

"dancing fountain" which the girls want to see!

Ours and the girls' souvenirs

We came home to no news on when we would close on the house, but happy girls and a positive outlook from a much needed break!

12 weeks

2015-10-06T17:33:00.000-05:00

After 4 ~~agonizingly long~~ weeks of bed rest I ventured back to the doctor. I had spent too much time googling. Asked everyone who knew about the pregnancy to be in prayer for the SCH to heal, and lost too much sleep stressing about it. All while attempting to talk Jared through getting the house ready for us to move.

First thing I had my early glucose test.
I had gestational diabetes with Addiston and for each subsequent pregnancy they like to test me at 12 weeks that way if I do test positive for Gestational Diabetes I can start a special diet early and insulin if needed. It was 8 am I had been too nervous to eat breakfast and that sugary orange drink tasted nothing like the coffee I wanted. I completed my task and settled into reading the new Harper Lee novel. Finished my bloodwork and was passed off to Ultrasound.

I was able to spot the heartbeat myself, it was strong at 167. (old wives tales predict thats a girl)
Little one was bouncing around all over the place. Probably from that pure sugar drink I had just chugged.

After a thorough search and a few tears of joy the nurse practitioner (my OB had been called in to deliver a baby) confirmed that the SCH was nowhere to be found. I was released from bed rest and told as all pregnant women are "take it easy"

The next day we traveled to Cincinnati for my sweet grandmothers 93rd Birthday, at which we announced to my side of the family that we were going to round out the grandkids and make it an even dozen.

(Oh, and I passed my glucose test. No finger pricking for me this time!)

10 weeks

2015-09-30T19:00:00.000-05:00

Just to clarify, this is a recap since we kept the pregnancy pretty hush-hush for a while. Little tidbits I didn't want to forget when this one is grown!

When left to my own devices and on bed rest I google.

When one is on bedrest for any reason to threaten a pregnancy one should not google but google I did.

Unfortunately during this time we were in the process of more house showings which meant me being terrible at bed rest. On night when we had a showing (that turned out to be our new buyers) I was craving hot wings, so to hot wings we went-(because this isn't our first time Jared has learned just to give into the odd cravings) We went we ate, I got heartburn. All was well. We can back home and I resumed my bedresting. I laid down and as I listened to the bedtime noises going on down the hall I felt a very distinct movement.

I was shocked but through all the stress of the past two weeks it was just what I needed.

The next day we got our second buyer, bought a car to replace the BMW and Jared got a job offer from an exciting new company. Excitement but stress.

I learned lots and lots about what we now refer to as SCH (subchorionic hematoma) and got more and more paranoid. I didn't have an appointment with me OB scheduled again till 12 weeks but called and begged for an ultrasound to be ordered at that visit for the hematoma monitored and they obliged.

8 weeks

2015-09-28T14:00:00.000-05:00

Two weeks after the initial ultrasound I went back for a second scan.

In the meantime we had sold our house, found out about the crack in the foundation of our sold house, and had a seller back out.

We were praying for good news and a strong heartbeat.

The baby is apparently high and the tech had to work to find it but she found a strong heart beat at 167 bpm.

Needless to say I cried.

I got to see the doctor again this time and give LOTS of blood.

The relief I was feeling from hearing my baby's heartbeat was quickly squelched when the doctor informed me that on the ultrasound she also found a subchorionic hematoma.

It had been present on the first scan but they wrote it off as implantation bleeding, but when it was still there on the second scan theres a slight cause for concern.

A subchorionic hematoma is a small hemorrhage of the uterun wall that increases the risk of miscarriage by forcing the placenta to detach from the embryo.

Because I have had multiple miscarriages in the past my doctor encouraged me to take it easy and go on bed rest as much as possible.

Because bed rest is Oh so easy when you're a stay at home mom of two and your husband is leaving on a business trip to California.

6 weeks

2015-09-25T19:30:00.000-05:00

Ok so since we were hush hush about the baby for a while let's backtrack.

I found out I was pregnant on the 4th of July, which also happened to be the day we were hosting the girls' combined birthday party, had 6 family members in from out of town and the day we reached an agreement on the new house.

Because of my history I called the my OBGYN the monday after I found out I was pregnant.

I went in a few days later and they put me on progesterone.

It's a super easy pill that I take at bedtime, mainly because it makes me crash and feel like poo, so the hopes are that I'll sleep through all the lovely side effects if I take it at bedtime.

Two weeks later (6 weeks) I went in for my first ultrasound.

Things looked ok. Baby in the right place, but it was super early so all the could see was a sac.

I was bummed to not hear a heartbeat but glad to know that things were as they should be for the time.

Excited

2015-09-22T19:30:00.000-05:00

On top of all the fun that's been happening the last few weeks with the houses and the car, We've also been hiding the fact that we're PREGNANT!!

The millers are becoming a:

We're so excited for our newest little one and so excited to finally share it with the world!!

Are you kidding me??? A house update!

2015-09-09T17:20:00.000-05:00

ok so, concerning the house, the last two weeks have been like one big long episode of punk'd.

Seriously I'm waiting for Ashton Kutcher to pop out from behind my fridge with a camera crew and tell me it was all in good fun.

First of all I want to preface this by saying I love our veterans, I'm beyond proud to be an American and come from a long line of Military men.

That being said the VA loan process is a joke and has made my life a nightmare recently.

Our buyer is purchasing our home through a VA loan. That means we pay his closing, the government pays some fees and that there are some pretty strict guidelines the house has to meet for him to be allowed to buy it.

Our house is 20. We've taken care of it but it is NOT brand new. We received a list last friday of things that had to be accomplished by today in order for the VA to approve him getting the money. Jared is a very capable guy. He's built me some furniture and can repair just about anything that breaks but it was beyond the realm of physical possibility for him to do everything that needed done. So we scrambled to find a handyman to help which we did by the skin of our teeth.

Just some of the examples of what needed done: Repair/replace and paint all wooden window, door, and threshold trim that has weathering. Re-caulk around all window and door frames. Replace window screens. Pressure wash siding, scrub eves and soffits (bottom side of gutters), caulk wood seems and paint. Add splash guards to all downspouts. Repair any drywall settlement cracks inside the house (we've had two contractors come out to tell us all the minor drywall cracks in our home are cosmetic)-we had to repair them anyway. Re build back steps, stain to match deck. Add handrail going downstairs. Replace 1 cracked time in downstairs bath. Replace perfectly good electrical outlets with new ones. And this is not even all of it.

We spent all weekend neglecting our kids, paying people to help and last night asked the appraiser to come early in case there was anything that popped up so we could fix it before this morning. By the sheer grace of God we passed and finally were able to take a breather. Before diving head first into packing the rest of our house.

I spent the day running stuff to Goodwill, packing the final cookware and toiletry items in preparation to close on the new house in the morning when I get a call from our amazing realtor.

Mind you, we've had a buyer back out. A cracked foundation, a timeline put on our house we're purchasing making us accept a lower offer, a ridiculous list of house fixes and as I'm taping shut the box with our alarm clocks, my sound machine, and the books that sit on our nightstands our agent tells me our buyer had a last minute credit ding and isn't eligible to close tomorrow. He says it's a mistake but mistake or not we are on hold until the issue gets resolved.

We're exhausted, our poor girls want their toys out of boxes and don't understand why we have to wait longer. And I want my kitchen back, to cook on more than one skillet and to be off of the crazy real estate carousel.

Adulthood 101

2015-08-04T10:39:00.000-05:00

Well as I shared before, our house has a small crack up the side. It's not considered a crack in the foundation but could lead to one so it needs fixed. We happily obliged to have it repaired and our buyer backed out!

We tried everything to save the contract but he got spooked and walked away.

So we went to the sellers of our new house and asked for an extension. Mind you they have been in a similar situation and before us had a seller walk away (which worked to our benefit) so they granted us a 15 day extension to have new offer on our house but need to get their house sold as well.

So to break it down we have 11 days to have an accepted offer on our house.

We, lowered the price a bit to attract new buyers and our agent is going to have an open house on Sunday.

We're feeling a bit of pressure but also trusting that everything will work out how it's suppose to.

On top of all the fun house drama. We're still functioning with just the van. The BMW was officially totaled and Jared went to clean it out yesterday. We signed over the title, turned in our keys and should have a check from insurance in a few days.

We're happy with what we're getting from insurance but if we have to get a new car we want to get ahead of the game and get one with fewer miles and maybe one that is cheaper to maintain than the BMW was. But don't want to go out and buy a new car with all of the house stuff pending.

Thankfully we have a few friends with third cars who are letting us borrow them for a few days but we'd love for things to start to settle down.

crash

2015-08-01T19:34:00.000-05:00

When Jared and I were engaged, we spent a lot of time driving up and down the state of Ohio. We got stuck behind a lot of semi's a few buggies, and a fair share of tractors. Got cut off plenty and learned which lanes had fewer pot holes, and what time of day had the easiest traffic.

One night we were headed to my parents house from columbus. We had done dinner and seen a LATE movie so it was probably near 2 am by the time we got to the Cincinnati area. We were getting off the exit to my parents' and without a car in site Jared used his turn signal to get into the exit lane.

Ladies and gentleman that sealed the deal.

I know it's ridiculous. We were already engaged. And had known each other for years but after all the miles spent on that highway in all times of day. It was the habit of using his turn signal, the attention to detail, the little thing that sold me.

Well, Last week Jared and the girls had a different experience. And I had the HORRIFIC privilege to witness it.

The left wheel well in my van is cracked. Not a huge deal but if you have to slam on the brakes it shakes a bit. Jared made arrangements to have it fixed for me, and one morning we swapped the car seats into his car, and headed towards the mechanic.

It was raining and had been all night.

Jared and the girls were following me and at a green light I turned left.

Jared followed and ...

A nearly head on collision.

I couldn't move. Couldn't breathe, could only think of my little family in that little car. sitting still in the middle of the road.

I parked and ran.

Jared was the first out.

He said they were all ok.

Tears, LOTS of tears.

We got the girls out as airbag smoke filled the car.

I held them and cried. A sweet stranger reminding me to breathe and praising god with me, that by no less than a miracle my whole family walked away without a scratch.

The girls were more confused than scared.

(we're carseat sticklers)

Addiston: "the car was kinda wobbly then it stopped"

Isabella: "there was a big bang and I yelled"

They weren't afraid.

Insurance still hasn't passed final judgement on the car but everyone on site pretty much agreed it was a gonner.

Guess we'll be getting a new car along with a new house *insert sarcasm here*

We're just thankful everyone's ok!

The house

2015-07-29T21:17:00.000-05:00

Well in a whirlwind of life events our house sold the day it officially hit the market.

It was chaotic at best, but we are thrilled to not have had months of showings and keeping the house in perfect condition.

It sold sooner than we thought it would and we close on both houses in 12 days....12 DAYS!

There are boxes everywhere, we're pawning stuff we don't want anymore off on friends and throwing away anything the girls will let us get away with.

Yesterday we had an inspector come out to take a look at a crack in the side of our house. It's sort of the dark side of the moon to us. It faces our neighbors driveway and there's only about a foot of yard so we don't go there much and honestly didn't even realize it was there.

Well turns out our little friend is actually a minor crack in the foundation and while at this point isn't the worst case scenario it's still WAY more expensive than we had anticipated for home repairs. We're in a pinch to get it fixed before closing so next week will be an interesting time of loan documents, construction workers, movers, and parents in from out of town to help rescue us from all the madness.

I'm a little sad to be leaving our first home. Where we brought our girls home from the hospital and where they took their first steps, learned to climb stairs, and ride their bikes.

But we're so excited for what's to come.

Wacked out

2015-07-10T10:30:00.000-05:00

About nine months ago my body started to go all cock-a-mamie! I was cranky, and tired, hot, then cold, an insomniac, crazy person. I tried cutting back on caffeine, I tried eating healthier (if you know me you know thats hard-we're already pretty healthy) I attempted to self diagnose and treat with essential oils. Nothing was working. After 3 months I finally caved and went to the doctor. Turns out my thyroid was out of wack. I had hypothyroidism.

My doctor prescribed synthroid and the next day I started taking it. The following day I decided to google it. I learned lots about thyroid function, the endocrine system, and hormone levels. 8 days later I had done enough research to dump the pills and call my doctor.

I went in with a game plan, my numbers were high but not dangerously high so I asked if I could do some experimentation on myself. She smirked and asked what I had in mind,(mind you this is a very holistic doctor and the synthroid is considered a VERY safe drug) After discussing our super hippie healthy lifestyle and presenting 3 articles from medical journals she took me seriously and went and got a notepad. (Who's smirking now)

I explained that I had learned that iodine is a key mineral in thyroid function and while most people get trace amounts of iodine in salt because table salt in the US is iodized we haven't used table salt for years, we use Himalayan pink salt and won't be changing anytime soon (more on that another time), So in short I was probably iodine deficient, secondly my body had been having babies, miscarriages and nursing for nearly 5 years, and that this past year was the first time my body had gotten a chance to regulate naturally there was something bound to be off.

I went on to explain my use of essential oils and how some applied to specific places helped cleanse the body of built up toxins, and stimulate lazy parts. After nearly an hour of talking we had formulated a game plan, mega-doses of iodine, morning and night, endoflex oil applied over the thyroid and nutmeg oil rubbed directly over the adrenal gland in the afternoons. Consuming as much coconut oil as i could stand (I hate coconut and blended it in smoothies) and Yoga 3 times a week.

Well yesterday I went in for some blood work and guess what, my numbers are all normal! 6 months of smelling like a spice cabinet and being diligent about following a health treatment plan I had a say in and my thyroid isn't just being supplemented it's HEALING!!! EESCHK! I'm so excited. I have a few more months of vitamins to make sure my body's got the hang of things, then we can taper off and I'm free. no daily pills for me!

Here we go again

2015-07-08T20:17:00.002-05:00

ok I'm sorry, I say I'm going to get back in the habit of writing and leave ya' hanging. My Bad.

Habits are weird like that. The good and the bad ones! Like exercising regularly and eating right. When you do it you want to do it more but catch a chest cold and heave like a beached whale on the treadmill for half an hour before realizing you should probably take a few days off and BAM it's a month later and the gym's calling to see if you want to cancel your membership. (For the record-never cancel-they provide childcare weather or not you're working out!!)

Well, I got out of the habit of writing and now here's to getting back into it.

So life recently….

I'd love to catch you up on the past 2 years, and I will... in time, but theres more pressing issues.

We bought a house!!

And by bought I of course mean reached an agreement with the seller to promise to pay the bank a lot of money over a long period of time!

It's hopefully our forever home. And perfect for our family. Pictures will come once things are more locked down and the house is in our names.

We've been causally looking for about 9 months (Err maybe longer) and by casually looking I mean getting daily emails and going to multiple open houses EVERY. SINGLE. SUNDAY! We like our house now just fine. We've made it work. But we've know from early on it wasn't the home we wanted long term; it wasn't the house we want our girls coming home from college visits to, or where we want to grow old. So we looked, for a long time, we were picky, and when the right house came along we jumped on it, and someone else had jumped first.

We called about this house after only 3 days of it being on the market, only to find out that another family had already put in an offer. The realtor took pity on my heartbreak and promised to call if anything fell through, and sure enough three weeks later he called during my book club to let me know something had indeed fallen through. The next day we submitted a bid and now we cross the t's and dot the i's!

One of those t's that need crossed is that our house needs to sell! The market in the Nashville area is CRAZY right now and houses are selling before they're even fully listed so we not worried. Just another thing on the to-do list! Right under fold the 8 loads of laundry currently residing on my couch and above clean the oven.

So if you're in the nashville area and looking for a house, here's one for you!

It's been a while

2015-06-22T19:00:00.000-05:00

At a young age I discovered that I had the travel bug.

The insatiable desire to find new places, explore different cultures, and be with new people.

I like to go all in when I travel, eat the local fare, visit a small white church off Main Street, find a hidden book shop and spend an hour rummaging through it's treasures while milking my coffee.

The church we went to on our honeymoon

Everybody's got their thing, some like to stay in the same hotel everywhere they go, eat the same chain restaurants they do at home, and just escape. Some people climb mountains, some want to be in the middle of the dessert. Some hide out in the middle of the woods.

The ocean has always called to me.

My favorite vacations all take place at an ocean. Our little family on the Atlantic. Our honeymoon in the south pacific. Our anniversary trip to Italy. (technically that was the Mediterranean sea but thats close enough) It's calmness, it's flow, it's power. The sound, the smell, the hypnotic way it gets me. The ocean and I, we're tight.

I love to walk in just so it's foamy white peaks kiss the bottom of my knee caps, letting the tide pull the sand slowly over my feet. Pushing me slowly out towards shore then the undertow pulling me slightly in. I cold stand there for hours. In awe of nature and the God who created it. And I have.

But you know what inevitably happens.

I get lulled in by the push and pull. The sound, the smell the hypnotic way it gets me and eventually I realize I've been standing there for hours and the tide is coming in and those foamy white peaks are no longer kissing my knee caps but my abdomen is submerged and my shoulder just got splashed by the spray. Then out of the corner of my eye I catch a glimpse of a full blown wave, but it's already to late and I'm flat out. I get worked by the undertow and I'm under for a minute. Down for the count. I come up and make my way to shore but it takes a minute to catch my breath, regain my strength and wrap my head around what just happened. I sit there and stare at the ocean. Then eventually get up take a deep breath, dust myself off and get on with it.

And you know what thats exactly what happens in life too.

You get lost in the day to day. The mundane. The ins and outs. The reading of the same book every afternoon, the wiping of the bootys and divvying out of snacks. The finding of the favorite blanket and the fixing of the toy that ALWAYS breaks. The unloading of the dishwasher and folding laundry, cooking dinner, and scrubbing floors. You forget to take a step back, to watch yourself. You get in over your head and then when you're already struggling to get back to safety you get knocked out and you just gotta take a minute.

So I took a minute.

I took a deep breath.

And I needed it.

But ya know what?

Minutes over. Life. Goes. On.

So here's to dusting myself off, taking a deep breath and finding my sea legs again!