I like the “prepare yourself” idea, and making the home a place of peace and tranquility…but if my husband was consistently going out with the guys after work while the dinner I so meticulously made for him (his favorite!) went cold waiting for him…I think I’d have a hard time with the “warm smile” and “desire to please him” part…

I’m interested in hearing what YOUR thoughts are on this

Stephen and Marta Mason’s love story began in a small, war-struck town in Czechoslovakia near the end of World War II.

Looking back, the Phillipsburg couple share a rarely told story built on a chance meeting, a stack of love letters three years thick and what’s kept them together to this Valentine’s Day for 62 years.

Stephen Mason, a 1936 Phillipsburg High School graduate, was assigned as an Army technical sergeant with the 56th Signal Battalion, 5th Corps, to liberate the city of Pilsen, Czechoslovakia, now the Czech Republic.

Mason was struck by the beauty of the city his first day there in May 1945.

“I saw this beautiful girl wearing a white blouse and white shorts riding her bike through the city,” the 92-year-old says. “I thought ‘Oh, boy. I’d like to go out with her.’”

His comrades said he’d never see her again. Days later, he would.

“We owe our lives to General Patton,” says Marta, 81. Her city’s plane and tank factories made it a target.

“The Nazis threatened to level our city, but the Czech underground movement sent word for Patton to hurry,” she says.

Patton and his troops rushed to Pilsen to protect it from German attack. Citizens housed soldiers in hotels, libraries and private homes, grateful for their service. Stephen was shocked to find he and six other soldiers were sharing a roof with the girl in white.

“I knew from the first moment I saw her she was the one,” he says.

“I walked into this room full of soldiers and I noticed him sitting with his legs over the arms of the chair, listening to Churchill’s speech,” Marta said. “I thought ‘Wow, how he sits and that black wavy hair and black eyes. Wow, I like that.’”

Marta was impressed, but Stephen was 28. Marta was 17. She assumed their ages and languages would keep them apart.

He made sure nothing did.

Their love story began in Pilsen and it continues in Phillipsburg on this Valentine’s Day and every other day.

Have you witnessed a truly romantic love story that you would be willing to share with us? Perhaps it is your own story of undying love and faithfulness. If you’d like your story to be posted on my blog in the Love Stories Series, please use the Contact Me section to send a quick email or attachment.

I can’t wait to grab a cup of tea, settle into my big, comfy chair, and read all your amazing love stories! I hope you’ll join me

Hurricane Rita

If you’re anything like me, you’re a sucker for a great love story. What is it about hearing love stories that is so captivating??

Before I was married, I used to love approaching couples that I knew (and even those I hardly knew!) to ask them what their love story was. My favorite stories were those told by older couples who had been married for about 40 or more years. I’m not sure exactly what my facination was, but I did want to learn all that I could about marriage before my big day arrived.

The advantage to asking those who have been married for many years is that they have gone through it ALL. They’re not afraid to say it how it is. But, there is also a sparkle in their eyes as they share their story…and that sparkle is what makes their story so captivating. That sparkle represents a deep, passionate love that has transcended all obstacles-be it finances, war, sickness, poverty…and eachother.

I once met a couple who captivated me from the moment I first laid eyes on them. I don’t even know their names, but I’ll never forget their story…

It was Septepmber, 2005, and the category 5 hurricane, Rita, was approaching the Texas coast.  There was pandemonium as millions were trying to escape the storm.

As was later recorded: “In Texas, the situation was the worst. The transport department was not prepared for such a large evacuation. As a result, there was a huge traffic jam. The traffic did not ease for 48 hours. Many motorists ran out of ga s; there was a huge shortage of fuel, food and water. More than 3 million residents were evacuated before the storm, making it the largest evacuation in the history of the U.S.” (For more facts click here)

The school that I was attending as an international student decided to evacuate as well…and I had a choice. I could drive up north to stay with friends in Dallas, or I could stay with friends close to my school and hope for the best. I heard the traffic reports and decided to stay, come what may.

That night, my friends and I heard that they were opening their church up as an evacuation shelter to those lucky enough to be able to get off the highway. We decided to go help those who were trying to escape the pandemonium and get some food and rest.

It was almost midnight when I saw an 80-something year-old couple drive up to the church looking for a place to rest. The elderly gentleman had been driving for 17 hours straight. His wife was confined to a wheelchair and couldn’t take care of herself. They both looked absolutely exhausted.

You could tell that the man was desperate for sleep…but his wife needed him.  He took care of her first, helping her to get out of the car and into her wheelchair. Then he helped her in the bathroom, even getting her diapers, cleaning her up, and getting her fresh clothes.

He asked us if there was a comfortable place for her to sleep, and we showed him the most comfortable place we could find…a couch in the quiet room reserved for those resting or sleeping. He got her settled on the couch, then found their pills and, with shaking fingers, counted them out one by one. He went back to his wife and gently placed them individually in her mouth, giving her sips of water in between.  She smiled weakly back at him.

And you know what he did then?

He got down on the floor with a single blanket, and slept at her feet.

I’ll never forget it…

Amazing love.

What stories have you heard or witnessed that have captivated you?

For all of you who participated I’m sure you know the feeling. Still catching up on missed sleep, still feeling the buzz as the winners of the giveaways are announced (especially if you’ve won!), catching up on laundry and cleaning that got pushed aside…

Need I say more??

I was hooked from the beginning. I didn’t plan on spending the whole first Friday night on the computer. I just thought I’d check the website 5 Minutes for Mom (hostesses of this amazing party) and look around real quick before heading downstairs to watch a movie with Hubby.

But then I saw over 2,000 blog links, a list of prizes and giveaways, a live video streaming of the party…and I was hooked. I jumped right in with both feet! (My husband graciously allowed me to participate and happily went on HIS computer to use his flight simulator. Aren’t we geeky? Husband and wife both glued to their computers on a Friday night?!?

Here are some of the blogs I really liked…check ‘em out, I think you’ll like them too

Jacquie @ Echoing Him

Here’s a little about Jacquie’s blog:

“This blog is a place for me to record the things that I am learning as I dig into the scriptures, what the Lord teaches me in the place of prayer, as well as lessons and stories from my everyday life as a wife and mother – whether about a new recipe I tried, my husband, my children, a good book I read, traveling, friends, family, etc.”

I got super excited when I got an email from Jacquie saying that I had won her giveaway for a Starbucks gift card! I got excited again when she told me that we have a mutual friend from my hometown in Nova Scotia! How awesome is that? I love when these things happen:)

Tanya @ Dreams, Diapers and Dilemmas

Here’s a little about Tanya:

“I am a 30ish mommy to 2 beautiful babes. Wife to a wonderful hubby who devotes his life to getting the most important message on Earth to the most important people on Earth…kids.Striving and choosing daily to be present…heart,body and spirit…and embracing this beautiful life I’ve been given…”

What a cute blog! And I love the butterflies! My week got even better when I got an email from Tanya saying I had won HER giveaway…$150 of Seabuckthorn beauty products! I LOVE beauty products and love trying new ones…I can’t wait to try them out!

You see why I love my first ever UBP??

But beyond the free stuff, there were some other blogs that I really liked too (this is only a couple)…

Like Alysha’s blog The Tarr Pit

I love her writing style! If you haven’t seen her blog, you’ve gotta head over there (AFTER reading this post, of course )

This is what she says about herself:

“hi. I’m Alysha. I love coffee. Love is an understatement. I am a neat freak and compulsive eyelash curler. Stylish I am not. My husband still makes my heart flutter and my son has dimples that you could sink into. If you want some good laughs, helpful tips and love to blush while you read what you cant believe you just read… then welcome to my world.” -The blush part is so true! She’s not afraid to write ANYTHING!

Launa @ Little Sweet Things

If you want to see the cutest family ever, you’ve gotta check out this blog!

Here’s a little about Launa:

“I’m a SAHM who is married to the most amazing man named Chris and is so incredibly blessed to have two beautiful kidlits… Makena and Michael!” -They are seriously an adorable family

Hope to see you at the next Ultimate Blog Party!

As promised, I’d like to share the next five “nagging alternatives.”

But let’s shift the angle a bit…

In a comment previously left by Scott, he perfectly introduced my next five points by saying:

To me, the question to ask that may lead to a longer term shift in attitude (and therefore behavior) is “what is it my husbands wants that he is not getting?” In other words, what’s the equivalent for him that the housework and helpfulness is for me? What is his unmet need, and how can I go about satisfying it? I believe that when a husband sees his wife making a conscious effort in that direction, his own desire to see to the housework (or other) need will naturally shift in a positive direction.

I use Scott as an example because I want you to hear this from a man’s point of view. Who better to know what they want then the men themselves? So try these tips out and let me know what you think!

6. Smile! Every man likes to come home to a smiling wife…Period. I know this because I just asked my husband, who nodded wholeheartedly. When a husband is greeted with a happy wife it brings security and affirmation. Solomon must have agreed too, because he wrote this proverb: “A cheerful look brings joy to the heart.” A smile can change your entire countenance, and your husband will always see you as most beautiful when you are smiling at him with love and affection and that happy twinkle in your eyes!

7. The “S’ Word…Submit. This word has been met with disdain from women everywhere for a long time. Most women think of submission as being a doormat for their husband, or having him rule you with an iron fist for the rest of your life. And unfortunately, history has shown this to be true in many cases.

But to me, it is the most liberating thing the world. Do you know why? Well, because I see submission as giving honor and respect to my husband…and isn’t that one of the greatest desires a man has? If not THE greatest desire? If I give my husband what he desires most, then his desire for me will grow as a result. All of a sudden you have two people who are putting the other person’s needs before their own. The result is a marriage filled with joy! Now, I’m not saying it’s always easy. But when I DO choose to submit to my husband, I’m also saying I trust him with my life and our marriage. It enables him to step up to the plate and show me what he’s made of.

If I constantly do everything myself and make all the decisions without him, then in the end I’ll regret it. First, because I am not showing respect to my husband, which puts him in a place of insecurity and frustration. Second, because eventually he could begin to grow lazy knowing I will do everything, and eventually I will turn into a slave.

See? You’re not a slave when you submit, you’re a slave when you choose NOT to.

8. Pray for Him. You may be reading this right now thinking I’m crazy to mention prayer. Maybe you have never prayed before in your life, or perhaps you may not have faith in a God who can answer prayer…

But, let’s say you DO believe in prayer…why is it important to pray for your spouse??

It is important because we, and the rest of the world, ask a LOT from our spouse, often forgetting that they are only human, and desperately in need of God’s strength and wisdom to carry out the everyday things required of them.

For instance, has your husband ever headed out the door and into a very important meeting, one that could determine his place at work and whether he gets a promotion? How often does he have to make decisions about the home and family that could turn your lives upside down? How often do you see him up late trying to figure out how he’s going to bring in the extra income to pay the mortgage and put food on the table?
When you pray, God is at work alongside your man giving him the ability to make wise decisions, granting him the strength and perseverance needed to make it through the tough times, and giving him the patience and love needed to satisfy you, his wife.

For all these reasons and more, I believe it is of utmost importance to pray for your spouse on a regular basis. Try it out! You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

9. Get Rid of the Grudges. There is a verse in the Bible that says love “Keeps no record of wrongs.” My husband is the greatest example I can find of putting this verse into action. He just never seems to hold a grudge! (It sounds like I’m complaining, but trust me, I’m not!)

When we hold a grudge, or choose to keep records of our husband’s wrongs, we are holding back pieces of our heart from him. We hinder intimacy from flourishing because we just can’t get past this one little thing he’s done. He wonders why we have a cold shoulder, why we won’t return his kiss, why we’re not responding in bed. Do we even know how the grudge began?

I used to get frustrated with my husband over silly little things, and because I didn’t want to sound like a nag I would keep quiet about it. I would mope around, not smiling or talking to him, but inside playing over in my mind what I thought he could be doing better, or how he could be more helpful.

You know what wasn’t helpful?? My grudge.

The one it most affected was me, because he usually wasn’t even aware that he had done anything wrong! Now, my husband, being the great guy he is, would eventually notice my sullen look and ask what was wrong. This was all I needed. I was then able to express what was on my mind and apologize for my negative attitude, and he would graciously listen, apologize if necessary, and we would kiss and make up. That easy. All that would take place in about one hour.

But imagine if I just kept it all in? What if my negative thoughts kept snowballing into one big pent-up ball of bitterness, resentment, and even hatred? Do you think I would feel like being intimate with him? Nope! And do you think he would want to be helpful and loving and supportive to a bitter and resentful wife? Nope!

I think you get my point here…

And now, my favorite point!

10. Seduce Him. Yup! You heard me correctly! Seduce him. Do you remember back to your courting days? Remember how often you smiled, how you laughed at all his jokes, whether they were funny or not? Remember how you “checked him out” and felt his biceps, told him how strong he was, and giggled as he picked you up to prove it? And remember how long it took you to get ready before a date, making sure every strand of hair was perfect, and putting on a little extra makeup?

Okay…do it all over again.

Surprise your husband with a candlelight dinner. Put on a little cocktail dress, do up your hair, put on a little extra makeup and spray a touch of his favorite perfume. As he walks into the room, catch his eye and put on a huge smile. Now pay special attention to his look of surprise and pleasure when he catches his first glimpse of you…

Seduction.

It is the single best way to get your husband to respond, “Sure, dear!” God made women beautiful and curvy for a reason…just as he made men to appreciate beautiful, curvy women. And so it is only natural to use all that God has given you as a woman to encourage and motivate your man.

BUT, please do not confuse seduction with manipulation. We are not trying to slyly use our bodies to abuse our husbands, trick them into doing things against their judgement, or carry out our own plans in a way that is dishonoring to them. What we ARE doing, is using our femininity to affirm our husbands by showing them we are interested in them and in the sexual part of our marriage, we are giving them pleasure, increasing the intimacy in our marriage, and meeting the innate needs of our husband. We’re also initiating romance for once, which is a huge turn-on for our man.

The result just happens to play favorably in our direction. Because, as Scott said before,

When a husband sees his wife making a conscious effort to meet his needs, his own desire to see to the housework (or other) need will naturally shift in a positive direction.

So remember: Smile…Submit…Pray…Get rid of the grudges…and Seduce him.

I think you’ll find that the results will be better than you can imagine!

What are some of the ways you have helped encourage your husband that he has been grateful for? Let’s talk about it!

For the first 5 alternatives to nagging, check out my blog: Lessons Learned in Marriage- Part IV

A Quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day; restraining her is like restraining the wind or grasping oil with the hand. -Proverb

My husband and I play squash quite competitively, and when I was just learning how to play he would always give me pointers, like, “Hold your racket up!” Or, “Always keep your eye on your opponent so you know what they’re going to do next!” Or, his favorite, “Bring the ball back!” Meaning make a tight shot to the back of the court so it’s difficult for my opponent to get a clean shot.

I didn’t always take it well…

I’m a competetive person, and so is he, and we had some pretty interesting games. When, in the middle of a game, he would point out what I could be doing better, I would shoot back, “I know what I’m supposed to do in my HEAD, I just don’t always put it all together when I PLAY!”

That’s marriage for you!

I KNOW what I’m supposed to do to have a happy marriage…in my head. But in the moment, I just don’t always remember to put it all into practice. Sound familiar?

My last two blogs have been dedicated to the aweful word “nagging.” Ugh…what a word! It’s been a difficult journey for me as I remember the times when I have NOT been sweet and loving, or have said something I regretted immediately. Thankfully I am married to an amazing man who truly does not keep records of my wrongs! He still thinks I’m “the perfect wife” despite my inadequacies.

I am truly a blessed woman

So why do we nag???

I don’t think it is any woman’s desire to nag her man…or for that matter anyone’s desire to nag another human being. But we do! In the moment of pent-up frustration we FORGET to be loving and encouraging and forgiving. All we want is the task done, no questions asked.

But listen to these other Proverbs:

A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver

and…

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Wow! There is hope for us yet!

In my next post I will be sharing the next five “nagging alternatives.”  For the first five, check out my last blog: Lessons Learned in Marriage- Part IV. But I should warn you, I’m going to be shifting the angle a bit. So get ready for some great conversation!

Liked this article? Have something you’d like to add? I’d love to hear your comments!

BECAUSE WE ALL DO IT!

And I’m sure that many of you would say, “Well, I don’t know what else to do! I’ve reached the end of my rope!” or “He never helps me around the house…what am I supposed to do, be his slave??”

And so, before I continue, I must tell you that my heart goes out to you. I don’t know all that you have to put up with at home, and so I realize that what I’m about to say may come easier to some of you than others. Please bear with me! I just want you to know that there IS hope.

As promised in my last blog, I would like to dedicate this post to coming up with some “nagging alternatives.” It may seem impossible that there could be an option other than nagging, berating, and crying to get your man to do something…but there are! Now, this post is addressed primarilly to women, as we seem to be the primary culprits for nagging. But guys, I think there are some important keys for you here too, especially if you are the one in the family who likes things done “just so.”

Here are 10 ways to change his answer from a mumbled, “Yes, dear” to a heart-felt, “Sure, dear!” :

1. Recognize that NAGGING DOESN’T WORK. When was the last time you successfully nagged your man off the couch to help with laundry…after the first request? If you did, I’m amazed! But how long did that phase last? I have personally not found this to be a successful way to get help. And by successful I do not mean a mumbled, “Yes, Dear.” I want my man to do things joyfully, and to feel that we are a team helping eachother out. I don’t want him to feel like he’s under house arrest with me holding an imaginary bat over his head!

2. Wait for the right moment. Ladies, laying a barrage of requests on your guy when he first walks in the door after a 10 hour workday is simply not a good idea. It’s kind of the equivalent of your husband asking to make love after you’ve just made dinner, fed the family, tidied up the dishes, done two loads of laundry, nursed your sick child, put them to bed…you get the idea. He’s tired. He wants to take off his coat and boots. He’s probably hoping for a loving kiss and a “How did your day at work go, honey?” He’s just not mentally or physically prepared for your list of 10 things that need to be done right away or the house will fall apart! I think you get my gist on this one…

3. Become a Mrs-fixit. While we’re talking about houses falling apart, I thought I should mention that there are some things that we ladies can do too! If you’ve been begging your husband for weeks to change the lightbulb in the bathroom, why not just go ahead and change it? Or if he’s late putting out the garbage, why not surprise him by taking it out yourself? There are some things that I have learned are just NOT worth nagging about. Not only that, but I bet your husband would be pleasantly surprised to find that his resourceful wife has changed the lightbulb and taken out the garbage for him (Guys, do you agree?)

4. It’s not a big deal. My husband has graciously volunteered to do dishes since I do the cooking. Great! He does a fantastic job! But what about the times he just leaves them in a heap on the counter overnight? My natural tendency would be to ask him to do them right away, as I’m a bit of a neat freak. But one day I just realized that it’s not a big deal . I think we make things into a bigger deal than they truly are, and because they are a big deal to us, we suspect that they should be a big deal to our spouse. Instead of nagging my husband to drop everything and do the dishes, I opted to just do them myself that night. After all, I had nothing to lose, and I thought it would be a nice surprise for him. Turned out that he really appreciated it and I got a great big kiss for it! Yay!

5. Encourage him! I got a comment from Scott in my last blog post stating the importance of respect in marriage, and I absolutely agree. If you do not respect your husband, you are going to have a VERY hard time asking him to do ANYTHING with a good attitude. Let him know how much you appreciate the little things he does for you! If he folds the towels differently than you, don’t criticize and belittle him for it, otherwise he’ll never want to fold them again. There is such a thing as male ego, as most guys will attest to, and if you damage that with a lack of respect or with making them feel incompetent they will simply not do a task in order to avoid the potential failure. So what’s the alternative? Encouragement! Praise the things they do well. In a loving way demonstrate how you like the towels folded, and if he folds them differently, so what! They’re in a closet for no one to see anyway! Oh, so much more I want to say on that…

I think I was a little ambitious trying to fit 10 points into 1 post. Not gonna happen…

I guess you’ll just have to wait for the next 5 points! There’s one point I just can’t WAIT to share. It’s my personal favorite, and definitely the most fun! What could it be I wonder…?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, ladies and gents Do you agree? Disagree? Have you discovered your own “nagging alternatives” that you’d like to share with us? Let’s chat!

This picture says it all...

I once read that there are 3 types of men in the world:

1. The “Commander” - This is the guy who becomes the army general, the President, or the “take control of the situation” kind of guy. He tends to have an air of superiority, can be bossy, but is heroic at the same time. His wife is seen as a martyr for all that she puts up with, and is usually a very submissive and loving wife.

2. The “Visionary” -This guy is the inventor, the missionary, or the travelling musician..the guy who has a dream and spends his life trying to achieve it. This may or may not happen. This man is usually married to a woman who is seen as pretty heroic…afterall, she really believes in her husband’s dream and is willing to turn her own world upside to make sure he achieves it…even if it means leaving everything behind and moving to the jungle.

3. And finally, there is the “Steady Man” -This guy may not be the most heroic type, he may not be the head of a company, and he may not have any huge dreams he wants to accomplish…but he is a really great guy. He is loyal to his employer and loves his wife; he likes to play with his kids. He’s a handy man, and does all that his wife asks him to do with hardly a word of complaint. He’s a pretty amazing guy! And he is usually married to…a NAG.

Okay, okay…I know that these are VAST assumptions, and no one man is entirely one of these personas, but I bet that as you were reading you were already labelling your man in one of these categories

When I first read this and came to the part about Mr. Wonderful marrying a nag, I made a personal resolution. I decided that in no way was I going to become a nag…(ugh, I don’t even like the sound of that word!)

In my lifetime I have seen my share of wives “beating up” on their husbands. He can never do anything entirely right. She asks him to take out the garbage…he does. She asks him to change the light bulb in the bathroom…he does.

“But why haven’t you cleaned up the garage yet?!” she rages. 

I’m sure we’ve all heard similar scenarios before…whether it was our parents, our grandparents, neighbors…or- *gasp*- ourselves…

Do you know what the word “nag” is in old Indian sancrit?  King Cobra. Apart from being the longest venomous snake in the world,

Wikipedia describes the King Cobra as “Fierce, agile and can produce large amount of potent venom in a single bite.”

Sound familiar?

I wonder if that’s how our husband sees us when we’re nagging him…

Fierce. Agile. Venomous.

Any guys want to comment on that??

In the book of Proverbs it says:

“Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.”

Ouch! I feel like I’m stepping on toes…including my own!

Thankfully, my blog does not end here, otherwise I might have no readers to speak of come tomorrow…

You know what I think?

I think that deep down it is no woman’s desire to nag her husband. (What little girl do you know that grows up wanting to be  nag??) I believe that there is a way to live in peace and harmony with your spouse…No nagging required.

To explore with me the thrilling  and innovative “nagging alternatives” check back for my next post on “Lessons Learned in Marriage.”

So… what are YOUR thoughts on nagging? I look forward to reading your comments…try to be gentle

Okay, this is not to brag, but I have read MANY marriage books in my lifetime… and I’m only 25.

They tend to give pretty much the same advice about how to keep your marriage healthy and happy. The primary response, as you probably already know, is the big “C” word…

Commitment.

Now, I realize that I just spent a bunch of time in my last blog “Lessons Learned in Marriage: Part I- The Secret” explaining the importance of the “C” word, and so in no way do I intend to undermine what I’ve just written.

However…

Commitment aside, there is something that I have personally found to be a cornerstone in my marriage. Something that makes it an absolute JOY to be a wife (apart from marrying the best man in the world )

Can you guess what it is??

Okay, I’ll tell you…it’s THANKFULNESS!

Whew, I’ve wanted to say this for so long it’s nice to finally get it off my chest!

What do I mean by thankfulness? To be honest, it actually goes beyond the title of this blog. A simple “Thank you” is not the sum total of what it means to be thankful (although it sure helps!).

The secret ingredient to true thankfulness (in my opinion) is the ATTITUDE with which we say those words. Are we genuinely grateful for what our spouse has done, or do we think to ourselves, “Well, it’s his job to take out the trash anyway, so it’s no big deal!”

A genuinely thankful wife might think instead, “Wow, I know he could be watching the football game on t.v. right now, but instead he is helping with the trash…what a blessing!” -Yay for the thankful wife!

BUT that’s not all!

How many of us have been that genuinely thankful wife, always thinking how wonderful our man is for doing the little things he does? If you are, I applaud you for your positive attitude Now, how many of us actually take the time to TELL our husband how thankful we are that he is helping take out the trash, change the light bulbs, check our car’s oil and washer fluid levels, or that he is spending time with us rather than hanging out with the guys?

Why not write him a note to say thank you?

 I honestly don’t think I ever read about this in any of my myriad of marriage books, and I don’t think anyone told us to do it during marriage counceling (if you did and I have forgotten, please forgive me!), but it didn’t take long in the beginning of our marriage for me to realize that it is an important thing to do.

From our first week of marriage, not a meal went by that my husband did not thank me for it and tell me it was delicious (I told you he is the best ). That has been so encouraging! Of COURSE I’ll cook for him…he appreciates it so much! It makes it such a joy to be his wife, knowing he recognizes the little things I do for him.

Likewise, I thank him for doing the dishes, for taking out the trash, or let him know that I noticed he changed a burned out light. When we recognize the work someone else does for us, no matter how little the task, it shows that we are not taking the other person for granted…and the result is amazing! I mean, really…marriage-changing!

The amazing thing is that the same principle of thankfulness can also be applied at work, or with your kids, or your friends…any relationship, actually.

All of a sudden we do things for eachother because we know the other person appreciates it…and even if they DON”T, it’s okay because there is grace for that (this is a WHOLE other blog post!)

To me, thankfulness has been one of the key foundations in making our marriage a happy one. I mean it when I say it is a JOY being a wife!

So, having said all that, here are a few things my husband does that I am incredibly thankful for:

1. He says “thank you” after every meal…even when it’s leftovers!

2. He takes really good care of our finances so I never have to worry about money or late payments

3. I’m thankful for how quick he is to greet me with a kiss when I walk in the door from work (he works from home)

4. He actually volunteered himself for dish duty every day (and no, we don’t have a dish washer)

5. I love how he still opens my car door for me, even after a year and a half of marriage

P.S.- So, what does your hubby do for YOU that you are grateful for? Let’s talk about it!

Stay posted for the next part in this series on “Lessons Learned in Marriage!”

Now, I am a very happily married woman, and have been for our whole year and a half of marriage, but that seems about normal to most people…after all, we’re newlyweds! But to be happily married after 25 years? That, in today’s society, is a miracle.

So how did they do it? Why are they so happy and content after all these years? Did they win the lottery? They’ve never tried. Get the perfect career? Only if hard work for little pay counts. Or did they just live a pretty easy, painless life? Try facing years of terminal illness, near poverty, and -to top it all off- a live-in mother-in-law for 18 years!

Does the term “miracle” come to mind now?

To have faced such dire and unforgiving circumstances and yet still find joy in each day is miraculous to me. Statistics state that 50% of marriages today end in divorce. They also say that if one or both spouses have a terminal illness of some kind then that rate shoots up to about 85% rate of failure. But this couple is still deeply in love, still finding lots to laugh about, and even use their personal experiences to help encourage and motivate other couples and families.

The secret?

It would be unfair of me to bring you this far in the romantic love story and then leave you hanging wondering how you can experience the same level of happiness and contentment in your own relationships. Maybe you’re in a marriage where you or your spouse are suffering with an illness and the road ahead looks bleak. Or perhaps every day brings a new quarrel or unmet expectation leaving you drained and wondering why you married the other person.

The truth is we all face challenges. Not one person on this planet lives a completely happy and pain-free life. However, how we RESPOND to life’s challenges is what can lead us to a fulfilled life or a life of regret and failure.

So…what is the secret? What separates this couple from the couple down the street? How have they faced a life full of pain and hardship and still found moments to laugh with each other and develop a life-long passion for one another?

Here it is…this is their secret:

• Their strong and personal relationship with God, and 
•  Their faithful commitment to each other…until death do them part.

This was their confession as they celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary.

Okay, so this may sound cliche…God+commitment=happy marriage. Or it could also sound impossible, absurd, or any number of other things. But this is their confession, and it is also mine. I may be a newlywed, but it seems clear to me that this marriage is about more than me and my husband doing all the right things, saying all the right things and hoping it works out okay (not divorced) in the end.

Why settle for bare minimum contentment in life and marriage? Why not “shoot for the stars” and aim for the very best marriage possible? One full of joy, peace and love?

I’d like to explore more with you about what not only makes a marriage…but what makes a marriage GREAT!

Stay posted for the next part in the series on “Lessons Learned in Marriage…”

P.S.-What valuable lessons have YOU learned in marriage? Let’s chat!