AwesomeLifeLove.com

Benefits of Ginger Tea

2013-02-20T21:45:00.001-08:00

Not only is ginger tea delicious, it does so many amazing things for you! Fights inflammation, helps with breathing problems, aids with tummy troubles, relieves stress, improves immunity. This is a great poster of benefits, giving you all the healthy reasons to enjoy something delicious!

DO GOOD AND DON’T EVER STOP DOING GOOD, EVEN IF IT IS NOT APPRECIATED AT THAT TIME....

2012-10-27T01:13:00.001-07:00

Do good and Don’t ever stop doing good, even if it is not appreciated at that time....

A woman baked chapatti (roti) for members of her family and an extra one for a hungry passerby. She kept the extra chapatti on the window sill, for who

So ever would take it away. Every day, a hunchback came and took away the chapatti. Instead of expressing gratitude, he muttered the following words as he went his way: “The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” This went on, day after day. Every day, the hunchback came, picked up the chapatti and uttered the words:

“The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” The woman felt irritated. “Not a word of gratitude,” she said to herself… “Everyday this hunchback utters this jingle! What does he mean?” One day, exasperated, she decided to do away with him. “I shall get rid of this hunchback,” she said. And what did she do? She added poison to the chapatti she prepared for him!

As she was about to keep it on the window sill, her hands trembled. “What is this I am doing?” she said. Immediately, she threw the chapatti into the fire, prepared another one and kept it on the window sill. As usual, the hunchback came, picked up the chapatti and muttered the words: “The evil you do, remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!”

The hunchback proceeded on his way, blissfully unaware of the war raging in the mind of the woman. Every day, as the woman placed the chapatti on the window sill, she offered a prayer for her son who had gone to a distant place to seek his fortune. For many months, she had no news of him.. She prayed for his safe return.

That evening, there was a knock on the door. As she opened it, she was surprised to find her son standing in the doorway. He had grown thin and lean. His garments were tattered and torn. He was hungry, starved and weak. As he saw his mother, he said, “Mom, it’s a miracle I’m here. While I was but a mile away, I was so famished that I collapsed. I would have died, but just then an old hunchback passed by. I begged of him for a morsel of food, and he was kind enough to give me a whole chapatti. As he gave it to me, he said, “This is what I eat everyday: today, I shall give it to you, for your need is greater than mine!”

” As the mother heard those words, her face turned pale. She leaned against the door for support. She remembered the poisoned chapatti that she had made that morning. Had she not burnt it in the fire, it would have been eaten by her own son, and he would have lost his life!

It was then that she realized the significance of the words: “The evil you do remains with you: The good you do, comes back to you!” Do good and Don’t ever stop doing good, even if it is not appreciated at that time....

PUT EFFORT INTO THE RELATIONSHIP.

2012-10-22T01:40:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, when we first like someone we tend to put so much effort into doing this and that for them to show that you genuinely care about them, But thing is that effort that was once there in the beginning begins to dwindle down after a while until one or the other stops trying altogether. When you feel the spark begin to FADE you have to do things together to reignite that flame, Do things to surprise each other now and then, you know? Don't let the same monotonous routines RUIN THE RELATIONSHIP. It could be a surprise "HOME COOKED DINNER" or just a nice day out with one another just to enjoy each others company. It doesn't even have to be anything expensive, Just as long as it genuinely comes from the heart and it shows that you still care about them. Do things from them that make them happy or even try new things that the other person may like, you know? All I'm really trying to say is make "EFFORT" a constant in the relationship instead of LETTING IT DIE after a while. If you care about them and they are someone special to you then I know you don't want to lose them, So I mean why stop trying then? ALWAYS TRY, FIGHT FOR THEM AND DON'T GIVE UP OR TAKE EACH OTHER FOR GRANTED.--

Here are 30 habits that will change your Life

2012-10-20T02:32:00.001-07:00

Developing good habits is the basic of personal development and growth. Everything we do is the result of a habit that was previously taught to us. Unfortunately, not all the habits that we have are good, that’s why we are constantly trying to improve.

The following is a list of 30 practical habits that can make a huge difference in your life.

You should treat this list as a reference, and implement just one habit per month. This way you will have the time to fully absorb each of them, while still seeing significant improvements each month.

Health habits

Exercise 30 minutes every day. Especially if you don’t do much movement while working, it’s essential that you get some daily exercise. 30 minutes every day are the minimum recommended for optimal health.
Eat breakfast every day. Breakfast is the more important meal of the day, yet so many people skip it. Personally, I like to eat a couple of toasts in the morning along with a fruit beverage.
Sleep 8 hours. Sleep deprivation is never a good idea. You may think that you are gaining time by sleeping less, when in reality you are only gaining stress and tiredness. 8 hours are a good number of hours for most people, along with an optional 20 minutes nap after lunch.
Avoid snacking between meals. Snacking between meals is the best way to gain weight. If you are hungry, eat something concrete. Otherwise don’t. Update: for clarification, I mean don’t eat junk food between meals, but eating real food it’s ok.
Eat five portions of fruits and vegetables every day. Our body and brain loves getting vegetables and fruit, so I highly recommend eating as much of them as possible. Five portions is the dose that’s usually recommended by many health associations.
Eat fish. Fish is rich of omega 3 and other healthy elements. At least one meal per week of fish should be enough for getting all these nutrients.
Drink one glass of water when you wake up. When you wake up, your body is dehydrated and needs liquid. Make the habit of drinking one glass of water after you wake up in the morning. Also, drink more during the day.
Avoid soda. Soda is often one of the most unhealthy beverage you can find. Limit your consumption of soda as much as possible and you’re body will be grateful for that.
Keep your body clean. I don’t advise spending your day in front of the mirror, but a minimum of personal care does never hurt.
If you smoke, stop it. There’s no reason to smoke anymore, and quitting is possible.
If you drink, stop it. Same as above. Don’t think that alcohol will solve your problems. It never does. The only exception is one glass of wine per day during meals.
Take the stairs. This is just a hack that forces you to do a minimum of exercise. Instead of taking the elevator, take the stairs.

Productivity habits

Use an inbox system. Make the habit of keeping track of all the ideas and things that comes to mind. You can use a notebook to do this, and then sync everything on your computer.
Prioritize. If you have a list of things to do, where do you start? One way is to prioritize your list. If you are in doubt, ask yourself: “If I could only accomplish one thing today, what would it be?”
Plan, but not too much. Planning is important, and you should decide in advance what you are going to do today or this week. However, planning for more than a few weeks is usually inefficient, so I would not worry too much about that.
Wake up early. Waking up early in the morning is a great way to gain extra time. I personally like to wake up at 5 am, so that by 9 am I have already accomplished what otherwise would have taken me many days..
Check your email only twice per day. Email can easily become an addiction, but it’s usually unnecessary to check it every 10 minutes. Make an effort and check your email only once or twice per day, see if the world will still rotate as before after you try this.
Eliminate unimportant tasks. Being busy all day does not mean you are doing important stuff. Eliminate every activity that’s not important, and focus on what really matters.
Clean off your desk and room. Having a clear room and desk is important to maintain focus and creativity.
Automate. There are a lot of tasks that you need to perform every day or every week. Try to automate them as much as possible.
Set strict deadlines. When you do something, decide in advance when you’re going to stop. There’s a rule that states that you will fulfill all the time you have available for completing a task, so make an habit of setting strict deadlines for maximizing your productivity.
Take one day off per week. Instead of working every day, take one day off per week (for example sunday) where you are not going to turn on your computer. Use that time for doing recreational activities like going for a walk.

Personal Development habits

Read 1 book per week. Reading is a good way to keep your brain active. With just 30 minutes per day you should be able to read one book per week, or more than 50 books per year.
Solve puzzles. Quizzes, word games, etc. are all good ways to exercise your brain.
Think positively. You are what you think, all the time.
Make fast decisions. Instead of thinking for one hour wherever you are going to do something, make your decisions as fast as possible (usually less than 1 minute).
Wait before buying. Waiting 48 hours before buying anything is a tremendous money saver, try it.
Meditate 30 minutes per day. A great way to gain clearness and peace is through meditation. 30 minutes are not a lot, but enough to get you started with meditation.

Why do you like me..?

2012-10-19T11:05:00.003-07:00

Once a Girl when having a conversation with her lover,
asked:
Girl : Why do you like me..? Why do you love me?
Man : I can t tell the reason.. but I really like
you..

girl : You can t even tell me the reason… how can
you say you like
me? How can you say you love me?
Man : I really don t know the reason, but I can prove
that I love U.
girl : Proof? No! I want you to tell me the reason. My
friend's boyfriend can tell her why he loves her but not you!
Man : Ok..ok !!!
because you are beautiful, because your voice is sweet,
because you are caring, because you are loving,
because you are thoughtful, because of your smile,
because of your every movements.
The girl felt very satisfied with the man's answer.
Unfortunately, a few days later, the girl met with an
accident and went in comma...
The Guy then placed a letter by her side, and here is
the content:
Darling, Because of your sweet voice that I love you…
Now can you talk? No !! Therefore I cannot love you.
Because of your care and concern that I like you..
Now that you cannot show them, therefore I cannot love
you.
Because of your smile, because of your every movements
that I love you.. Now can you smile? Now can you move?
No, therefore I cannot love you…
If love needs a reason, like now,
There is no reason for me to love you anymore.
Does love need a reason? NO!
Therefore, I still love you…

What is a Prayer?

2012-10-18T06:18:00.003-07:00

What is Prayer ??

The real meaning of Prayer is not to ask something from GOD, its to thank him for whatever we have received till date.

As we already know & he himself has said that he is already there with us & looking after us. Whatever he has is ours as we are his child. So if we are his child then actually whatever he has is truly ours so why to ask for something which you already have :)
And as him being the father he knows when and how to give you access to the stuffs which he has for us. Like our Dad does / did to us. He just wont give everything to us, but then he will when we are grown up / capable enough.

So, would say get up & get going. Grow up & make your self capable enough & GOD will give you everything what is meant for you.

So now you can thank him in prayer, for what you were able to utilize from what you have got. Do it every day when you go to bed, thank him for whatever good / bad you experienced.

The Villager and the Happy Man

2012-10-17T09:02:00.002-07:00

In a small village in the valley, lived a man who was always happy, kind, and well disposed to everyone he met. He always smiled, and had a kind and encouraging word to say whenever necessary. Everyone who met him left feeling better, happier and elated. People knew they could count on him, and regarded him as a great friend.

One of the village dwellers was curious to know what his secret was, and how he could always be so kind and helpful. He wondered, how is it that he held no grudge toward anyone, and why he was always happy.

Once, upon meeting him in the street he asked him: “Most people are selfish and unsatisfied. They do not smile as often as you do; neither are they as helpful or kind as you are. How do you explain it?”

“When you make peace with yourself, you can be in peace with the rest of the world. If you can recognize the spirit in yourself, you can recognize the spirit in everyone, and then you find it natural to be kind and well disposed to all. If your thoughts are under your control, you become strong and firm. The personality is like a robot programmed to do certain tasks. Your habits and thoughts are the tools and programs that control your personality. Become free from being programmed, and then the inner good and happiness that reside within you will be revealed.”

“But a lot of work is necessary. Good habits have to be developed. The ability to concentrate and to control the thoughts has to be strengthened. The work is difficult and endless. There are many walls that need to be to climbed. It is not an easy task.” Lamented the villager.

“Do not think about the difficulties, otherwise this is what you will see and experience. Just quieten your feelings and thoughts, and try to stay in this peace. Just try to be calm, and do not let yourself be carried away by your thoughts.”

“Is that all?” Asked the villager.

“Try to watch your thoughts and see how they come and go. Stay in the quietness that arises. The moments of peace will be brief at first, but in time they will get longer. This peace is also strength, power, kindness, and love. You will then realize that you are one with the Universal Power, and this will cause you to act from a different dimension, not from the selfish, small, limited ego.”

“I will try to remember your words,” said the villager and continued, “there is another thing that I am curious about. You do not seem to be influenced by the environment. You have a kind word to everyone, and are helpful. However, people treat you well, and do not exploit your goodness.”

“Being good and being kind do not necessarily point to weakness. When you are good, you can also be strong. People sense your inner strength, and therefore do not impose on you. When you are strong and calm inside, you help people, because you can, and you want to. You then act from strength and not from weakness. Goodness can also go with power and strength, it is not a sign of weakness, as some people erroneously think.”

“Thank you very much for your advice and explanation”, said the villager, and went away happy and satisfied.

I Love You

2012-10-15T08:03:00.002-07:00

The depth of your eyes, the words no man could ever speak
Your essence, your very presence makes me weak
The comfort of your body, the warmth of your soul you emit
You practically melt my heart the moment we kiss
And the first moment we did, I knew that I loved you
Yeah I'm a guy but I could have cried when you said you loved me too
See I could have held you forever and died that very day
If I'd gone in your arms, I wouldn't want it any other way
You are my life, my death, my beginning & my end
My love, my lady, my baby and best friend
I'm your man; we can go for a walk in the park & hold hands
All things aside, baby I want you to know that I understand
And if I don't, I want you to try & give me a chance,
Let me make it right, take you out to a dinner & dance :p
What ever you want what ever you need, baby I'm there
For you I'll die a thousand deaths to show how much I care
I'm not saying I'm perfect, not even close
But if anyone loves you, I think I'll love you the most
For you I'd fight worlds, or remove every thorn on every rose
Just so I can tickle your cute little nose :p
I love every inch of you, inside and out
When I found you, I found out what my life is all about (S)

*I Love You*

An excellent and Great Love Story of Narayana Murthy (Infosys Founder) and Sudha (From Sudha's Autobiography) -Pls don’t miss it

2012-10-14T10:40:00.000-07:00

An excellent and Great Love Story of Narayan Murthy (Infosys Founder) and Sudha (From Sudha ' s Autobiography) - pls dont miss it

An Inspiring Love story,, its worth, Read it !!

Love Story of Narayan a Murthy (Infosys Founder) and Sudha (From Sudha ' s Autobiography)

It was in Pune that I met Narayan Murty through my friend Prasanna who is now the Wipro chief, who was also training in Telco(TataMotors). Most of the books that Prasanna lent me had Murty ' s name on them which meant that I had a preconceived image of the man. Contrary to expectation, Murty was shy,bespectacled and an introvert. When he invited us for dinner. I was a bit taken aback as I thought the young man was making a very fast move. I refused since I was the only girl in the group. But Murty was relentless and we all decided to meet for dinner the next day at 7.30 p.m .. at Green Fields hotel on the Main Road ,Pune.

The next day I went there at 7 ' o ! clock since I had to go to the tailor near the hotel. And what do I see? Mr. Murty waiting in front of the hotel and it was only seven. Till today, Murty maintains that I had mentioned (consciously!) that I would be going to the tailor at 7 so that I could meet him... And I maintain that I did not say any such thing consciously or unconsciously because I did not think of Murty as anything other than a friend at that stage. We have agreed to disagree on this matter.

Soon, we became friends. Our conversations were filled with Murty ' s experiences abroad and the books that he has read. My friends insisted that Murty as trying to impress me because he was interested in me. I kept denying it till one fine day, after dinner Murty said, I want to tell you something. I knew this as it. It was coming. He said, I am 5 ' 4" tall. I come from a lower middle class family. I can never become rich in my life an! d I can never give you any riches. You are beautiful, bright, and intelligent and you can get anyone you want. But will you marry me? I asked Murty to give me some time for an answer. My father didn ' t want me to marry a wannabe politician, (a communist at that) who didn ' t have a steady job and wanted to build an orphanage...

When I went to Hubli I told my parents about Murty and his proposal. My mother was positive since Murty was also from Karnataka, seemed intelligent and comes from a good family. But my father asked: What ' s his job, his salary, his qualifications etc? Murty was working as a research assistant and was earning less than me. He was willing to go dutch with me on our outings. My parents agreed to meet Murty in Pune on a particular day at10 a. m sharp. Murty did not turn up. How can I trust a man to take care of my daughter if he cannot keep an appointment, asked my father.

At 12noon Murty turned up in a bright red shirt! He had gone on work to Bombay , was stuck in a traffic jam on the ghats, so he hired a taxi(though it was very expensive for him) to meet his would-be father-in-law. Father was unimpressed. My father asked him what he wanted to become in life.

Murty said he wanted to become a politician in the communist party and wanted to open an orphanage. My father gave his verdict. NO. I don ' t want my daughter to marry somebody who wants to become a communist and then open an orphanage when he himself didn ' t have money to support his family.

Ironically, today, I have opened many orphanages something, which Murty wanted to do 25 years ago. By this time I realized I had developed a liking towards Murty which could only be termed as love. I wanted to marry Murty because he is an honest man. He proposed to me highlighting the negatives in his life. I promised my father that I will not marry Murty without his blessings though at the same time, I cannot marry anybody else. My father said he would agree if Murty promised to take up a steady job. But Murty refused saying he will not do things in life because somebody wanted him to. So, I was caught between the two most important people in my life.

The stalemate continued for three years during which our courtship took us to every restaurant and cinema hall in Pune. In those days, Murty was always broke. Moreover, he didn ' t earn much to manage.. Ironically today, he manages Infosys Technologies Ltd., one of the world ' s most reputed companies. He always owed me money. We used to go for dinner and he would say, I don ' t have money with me, you pay my share, I will return it to you later. For three years I maintained a book on Murty ' s debt to me.. No, he never returned the money and I finally tore it up after my wedding.

The amount was a little over Rs 4000. During this interim period Murty quit his job as research assistant and started his own software business. Now, I had to pay his salary too! Towards the late 70s computers were entering India in a big way.

During the fag end of 1977 Murty decided to take up a job as General Manager at Patni computers in Bombay .. But before he joined the company he wanted to marry me since he was to go on training to the US after joining. My father gave in as he was happy Murty had a decent job, now.

WE WERE MARRIED IN MURTY ' S HOUSE IN BANGALORE ON FEBRUARY 10, 1978 WITH ONLY OUR TWO FAMILIES PRESENT.I GOT MY FIRST SILK SARI. THE WEDDING EXPENSES CAME TO ONLY RS 800 (US $17) WITH MURTY AND I POOLING IN RS 400 EACH.

I went to the US with Murty after marriage. Murty encouraged me to see America on my own because I loved travelling. I toured America for three months on backpack and had interesting experiences which will remain fresh in my mind forever. Like the time when the New York police took me into custody because they thought I was an Italian trafficking drugs in Harlem . Or the time when I spent the night at the bottom of the Grand Canyon with an old couple. Murty panicked because he couldn ' t get a response from my hotel room even at midnight. He thought I was either killed or kidnapped.

IN 1981 MURTY WANTED TO START INFOSYS. HE HAD A VISION AND ZERO CAPITAL...initially I was very apprehensive about Murty getting into business. We did not have any business background ... Moreover we were living a comfortable life in Bombay with a regular pay check and I didn ' t want to rock the boat. But Murty was passionate about creating good quality software. I decided to support him. Typical of Murty, he just had a dream and no money. So I gave him Rs 10,000 which I had saved for a rainy day, without his knowledge and told him, This is all I have. Take it. I give you three years sabbatical leave. I will take care of the
financial needs of our house. You go and chase your dreams without any worry. But you
have only three years!

Infosys founders (Left to right): Nandan Nilekani, S Gopalakrishnan, N R Narayana Murthy, K Dinesh, N S Raghavan and S D Shibulal.

Murty and his six colleagues started Infosys in 1981,with enormous interest and hard work. In 1982 I left Telco and moved to Pune with Murty. We bought a small house on loan which also became the Infosys office. I was a clerk-cum-cook-cum-programmer. I also took up a job as Senior Systems Analyst with Walchand group of Industries to support the house.

In 1983 Infosys got their first client, MICO, in Bangalore . Murty moved to Bangalore and stayed with his mother while I went to Hubli to deliver my second child, Rohan. Ten days after my son was born, Murty left for the US on project work. I saw him only after a year, as I was unable to join Murty in the US because my son had infantile eczema, an allergy to vaccinations. So for more than a year I did not step outside our home for fear of my son contracting an infection. It was only after Rohan got all his vaccinations that I came to Bangalore where we rented a small house in Jayanagar and rented another house as Infosys headquarters.

My father presented Murty a scooter to commute. I once again became a cook, programmer, clerk,
secretary, office assistant et al. Nandan Nilekani (MD of Infosys) and his wife Rohini stayed with us. While Rohini babysat my son, I wrote programs for Infosys. There was no car, no phone, and just two kids and a bunch of us working hard, juggling our lives and having fun while Infosys was taking shape. It was not only me but also the wives of other partners too who gave their unstinted support. We all knew that our men were trying to build something good.

It was like a big joint family,taking care and looking out for one another. I still remember Sudha Gopalakrishna looking after my daughter Akshata with all care and love while Kumari Shibulal cooked for all of us. Murty made it very clear that it would either be me or him working at Infosys. Never the two of us together... I was involved with Infosys initially.

Sudha Rohini Nilekani Kumari Shibulal

It took me a couple of days to grasp the reason behind Murty ' s request..I realized that to make Infosys a success one had to give one ' s 100 percent. One had to be focussed on it alone with no other distractions.. If the two of us had to give 100 percent to Infosys then what would happen to our home and our children? One of us had to take care of our home while the other took care of Infosys.

Members of the Infosys start-up team in the early days. Chairman and Chief Mentor, the iconic N R Narayana Murthy, is seen at far left

I opted to be a homemaker, after all Infosys was Murty 's dream. It was a big sacrifice but it was one that had to be made. Even today, Murty says, Sudha, I stepped on your career to make mine. You are responsible for my success.

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

Health Tip

2012-10-13T04:13:00.001-07:00

SHARE THIS INFORMATION FIRST AND READ AFTERWARDS.....SAVE LIFE Share this as much as you can.

"10000 times stronger killer of CANCER than Chemo".. do share it.. can save many lives, fill up hopes and build confidence in the patients...

The Sour Sop or the fruit from the graviola tree is a miraculous natural cancer cell killer 10,000 times stronger than Chemo.

Why are we not aware of this? Its because some big corporation want to make back their money spent on years of research by trying to make a synthetic version of it for sale.

So, since you know it now you can help a friend in need by letting him know or just drink some sour sop juice yourself as prevention from time to time. The taste is not bad after all. It’s completely natural and definitely has no side effects. If you have the space, plant one in your garden.
The other parts of the tree are also useful.

The next time you have a fruit juice, ask for a sour sop.

How many people died in vain while this billion-dollar drug maker concealed the secret of the miraculous Graviola tree?

This tree is low and is called graviola ! in Brazi l, guanabana in Spanish and has the uninspiring name “soursop” in English. The fruit is very large and the subacid sweet white pulp is eaten out of hand or, more commonly, used to make fruit drinks, sherbets and such.

The principal interest in this plant is because of its strong anti-cancer effects. Although it is effective for a number of medical conditions, it is its anti tumor effect that is of most interest. This plant is a proven cancer remedy for cancers of all types.

Besides being a cancer remedy, graviola is a broad spectrum antimicrobial agent for both bacterial and fungal infections, is effective against internal parasites and worms, lowers high blood pressure and is used for depression, stress and nervous disorders.

If there ever was a single example that makes it dramatically clear why the existence of Health Sciences Institute is so vital to Americans like you, it’s the incredible story behind the Graviola tree..

The truth is stunningly simple: Deep within the Amazon Rainforest grows a tree that could literally revolutionize what you, your doctor, and the rest of the world thinks about cancer treatment and chances of survival. The future has never looked more promising.

Research shows that with extracts from this miraculous tree it now may be possible to:
* Attack cancer safely and effectively with an all-natural therapy that does not cause extreme nausea, weight loss and hair loss
* Protect your immune system and avoid deadly infections
* Feel stronger and healthier throughout the course of the treatment
* Boost your energy and improve your outlook on life

The source of this information is just as stunning: It comes from one of America ‘s largest drug manufacturers, th! e fruit of over 20 laboratory tests conducted since the 1970's! What those tests revealed was nothing short of mind numbing… Extracts from the tree were shown to:

* Effectively target and kill malignant cells in 12 types of cancer, including colon, breast, prostate, lung and pancreatic cancer..
* The tree compounds proved to be up to 10,000 times stronger in slowing the growth of cancer cells than Adriamycin, a commonly used chemotherapeutic drug!
* What’s more, unlike chemotherapy, the compound extracted from the Graviola tree selectivelyhunts
down and kills only cancer cells.. It does not harm healthy cells!

The amazing anti-cancer properties of the Graviola tree have been extensively researched–so why haven’t you heard anything about it? If Graviola extract is

One of America ‘s biggest billion-dollar drug makers began a search for a cancer cure and their research centered on Graviola, a legendary healing tree from the Amazon Rainforest.

Various parts of the Graviola tree–including the bark, leaves, roots, fruit and fruit-seeds–have been used for centuries by medicine men and native Indi! ans in South America to treat heart disease, asthma, liver problems and arthritis. Going on very little documented scientific evidence, the company poured money and resources into testing the tree’s anti-cancerous properties–and were shocked by the results. Graviola proved itself to be a cancer-killing dynamo.
But that’s where the Graviola story nearly ended.

The company had one huge problem with the Graviola tree–it’s completely natural, and so, under federal law, not patentable. There’s no way to make serious profits from it.

It turns out the drug company invested nearly seven years trying to synthesize two of the Graviola tree’s most powerful anti-cancer ingredients. If they could isolate and produce man-made clones of what makes the Graviola so potent, they’d be able to patent it and make their money back. Alas, they hit a brick wall. The original simply could not be replicated. There was no way the company could protect its profits–or even make back the millions it poured into research.

As the dream of huge profits evaporated, their testing on Graviola came to a screeching halt. Even worse, the company shelved the entire project and chose not to publish the findings of its research!

Luckily, however, there was one scientist from the Graviola research team whose conscience wouldn’t let him see such atrocity committed. Risking his career, he contacted a company that’s dedicated to harvesting medical plants from the Amazon Rainforest and blew the whistle.

Miracle unleashed
When researchers at the Health Sciences Institute were alerted to the news of Graviola,! they be gan tracking the research done on the cancer-killing tree. Evidence of the astounding effectiveness of Graviola–and its shocking cover-up–came in fast and furious….

….The National Cancer Institute performed the first scientific research in 1976. The results showed that Graviola’s “leaves and stems were found effective in attacking and destroying malignant cells.” Inexplicably, the results were published in an internal report and never released to the public…

….Since 1976, Graviola has proven to be an immensely potent cancer killer in 20 independent laboratory tests, yet no double-blind clinical trials–the typical benchmark mainstream doctors and journals use to judge a treatment’s value–were ever initiated….

….A study published in the Journal of Natural Products, following a recent study conducted at Catholic University of South Korea stated that one chemical in Graviola was found to selectively kill colon cancer cells at “10,000 times the potency of (the commonly used chemotherapy drug) Adriamycin…”

….The most significant part of the Catholic University of South Korea report is that Graviola was shown to selectively target the cancer cells, leaving healthy cells untouched. Unlike chemotherapy, which indiscriminately targets all actively reproducing cells (such as stomach and hair cells), causing the often devastating side effects of nausea and hair loss in cancer patients.

…A study at Purdue University recently found that leaves from the Graviola tree killed cancer cells among six human cell lines and were especially effective against prostate, pancreatic and lung cancers Seven years of silence broken–it’s finally here!"
http://www.awesomelifelove.com/

I LOVE YOU ......

2012-10-12T11:01:00.003-07:00

Sanskrit has 96 words for love , ancient Persian has 80 , Greek three and English only one. This is indicative of the poverty of awareness or emphasis that we give to that tremendously important realm of feeling. Eskimos have 30 words for snow , because it is a life-and-death matter to them to have exact information about the element they live with so intimately. If we had a vocabulary of 30 words for love , we would immediately be richer and more intelligent in this human... element so close to our heart.

An Eskimo probably would die of clumsiness if he had only one word for snow , we are close to dying of loneliness because we have only one word for love. Of all the Western languages , English may be the most lacking when it comes to feeling There are so many ways to experience love. The ``I love you`` I say to elder daughter , like sweet summer light , is different than the ``I love you`` that I whisper into my wife`s ear , like a steady river and different still from the ``I love you`` I tell my younger son. The ``I love you`` that I have said to my various beloveds that have graced my life over the years is different than the ``I love you`` that I say to my best friends. The ``I love you`` I say to my sister is different than the ``I love you`` I say to my mother. This might sound obvious , but it`s important to note that we generally accept and normalize these different shades of love. Yet when it comes to our intimate partners , we expect to feel one kind of love in one measurement : namely, ``madly in love`` without a hint of doubt or uncertainty clouding the pure , ecstatic experience. We exert immense and unrealistic levels of pressure on ourselves : especially during the early stages of a relationship and during an engagement : to feel an exact amount and sentiment of love for our intimate partners. We believe that we can measure love , that there`s a right way to love or an adequate quantity of love that signals that you have met the ``right`` partner and now you are legitimized to marry. Just as our culture propagates one image of physical beauty and one measure of success , so do we absorb one definition of romantic love : namely , a heart-fluttering , ecstatic feeling accompanied by 100 percent certainty that we have found ``the one.`` Sadly and all too often , we hear that an engagement or marriage ends because one beloved ``fell out of love.`` What does this mean ??? I can only assume it means that the butterflies escaped and the ``in love`` feeling dimmed , causing the one who ``fell out of love`` to arrive at the conclusion that the relationship must be fundamentally flawed and inevitably over. It`s a false conclusion that too many people jump to , which causes them to walk away from a healthy , loving relationship that may need a little fine-tuning : or , most likely , an adjustment in the way they are thinking about love. Just as there are many ways to have a healthy , fulfilling marriage , so too are many ways to love. In order to widen our perspective on romantic love , it`s helpful to break down the phrase ``I love you`` so that we start to see its variance. And when you break it down , you see that there are so many ways to love your beloved. There is the appreciation you feel when he does something thoughtful and kind , like brush the drops of water by mist off your car in 20-degree weather or buy your favorite kind of bread. There is the comfort you feel when you come home at the end of a hard day at work and she`s there , waiting for you with a plate of hot food and your favorite TV show cued up. There is the gratitude you feel when she attends the family gathering. There is the warmth you feel when you see him across the room and know that he is your guy. There are the tingles you feel when she kisses you , maybe not every time , but enough to know that a spark still burns between you. There is the trust you feel when you walk through a difficult conflict together and emerge stronger than ever on the other side. There is the awe you feel when you remember how rare it is to find someone who ``gets`` you and who you ``get.`` There is the softness you feel when you focus on one physical quality in your partner that melts your heart and brings a smile to your face. There is the joy you feel when you listen to your favorite song together or have a blast on the dance floor. There is the contentment you feel when you read together but separately before going to bed. There is the stability that grows when you nurture the garden of your marriage year after year, enduring challenges and celebrating joys and always knowing that you support your own and each other's growth and happiness. We live on an abundant planet. There isn`t just one fruit to be enjoyed in summer , not merely a single sweet plum to delight in as the first juice runs over your fingers : but cherries , blackberries , strawberries , melons , grapes , nectarines , peaches. Such miracles !!! Likewise , there are so many ways to love. When we attune our awareness and widen our consciousness to include these variations on our narrow cultural definition , we know that romantic love is multicolored and multidimensional. It`s infinitely richer than the images presented on the big screen , infinitely more nuanced and alive than the one-dimensional feeling of butterflies that sometimes initiates a relationship. It`s appreciation , comfort , gratitude , warmth , tingles , trust , awe , softness , joy , contentment and stability ( to name just a few words for love ). It`s real and honest and when we commit to loving beloved with whom we can learn about , it becomes one of the most fulfilling and meaningful paths we can embark upon.

Grammar For Life

2012-10-12T10:51:00.003-07:00

Live in active voice, not the passive.

Think more about what you make happen than what happens to you.

...Live in the indicative mood rather than subjective.

Be concerned with things as they are rather than as they might be.

Live in the present tense facing the duty at hand.

Without regret for the past or worry for the future.

Live in the first person, criticizing yourself rather than finding fault with others.

Live in singular number, caring more for the approval of your own conscience than for the applause of the crowd.

And if you want a verb to conjugate, you cannot do better than to take the verb “to love”...

What is Love......

2012-10-09T10:03:00.003-07:00

Love is a frequency of energy that’s always available to us. More accurately, love is the fundamental energy of the universe – the energy that creates, sustains and evolves all life. It’s a generative and evolutionary force that’s little understood because it doesn’t obey mechanistic laws.

Love can never be objectively measured, demonstrated, or quantified. The existential philosopher Soren Kierkegaard recognized this when he observed that “to love someone is to believe that they are loving.” Kierkegaard knew that love requires belief because it exists at the level of essence rather than at the level of form. Things that exist at the level of form can be measured. Things that exist at the level of essence cannot be measured or seen.

The more I love you, the more I trust that you are loving. My love for you is my trust in the love that you already are.

A little-realized fact is that this trust has the quality of evolving the one on whom it is bestowed. In other words, the more fully you trust that I am loving, the more likely I am to express lovingness and goodness to you, because your trust is nourishing for my heart. It builds me up, it draws me out. It makes a safe space for my love to grow. On the other hand, the less fully you trust that I am loving, the more likely I am to withdraw from you and express coldness or rigidness, because your distrust is chilling. It shuts me down, it keeps me at bay. It makes no safe space for my love to grow.

This dynamic of trust works at the personal level, and it also works at the level of our relationship with all of life. The more that we trust that life is essentially good and loving, the more it responds to our love by showing us goodness. The more we believe that life is essentially dangerous and brutal, the more it shows us hardness and brutality. Life and other people can only offer us as much love as we’re willing to believe that they have.

Most of us can only experientially feel love when we’re in a sympathetic resonance (or we’ve “fallen in love”) with someone or something. Sympathetic resonance happens when there’s a soul-level similarity between us and another person.

When we’re in sympathetic resonance with someone we feel like they truly “get” us. We might have experiences of reading one another’s minds and of feeling one another’s emotions. The transference of thought and emotion happens between two people in a state of sympathetic resonance just like the transference of sound vibrations happens between two strings on a guitar that share the same harmonic overtone.

It can be quite amazing when we discover someone else with whom we resonate with in this way. It’s a great relief to finally feel in harmony with another person after a lifetime spent feeling alone. It’s extremely freeing, because the condition of sympathy makes us feel free to relax with the other person, and as we relax we sense and express our identity with the love that sustains everything.

Yet even the most beautiful harmony between two people can’t be sustained unless those two people are also willing to help themselves and others grow in relationship to that fundamental love. This is because that fundamental love contains the energy necessary to support the ongoing harmony. Just like the strings of a guitar need to receive energy from the hands of the guitar-player in order to vibrate.

The mistake that most people make in their relationships is in confusing sympathetic resonance with the basic energy of love itself. Sympathetic resonance is beautiful, but it can end. Each note (or in our metaphor, each partner in a relationship) only resonates sympathetically only as long as it has energy vibrating it. The energy that vibrates the notes (or that uplifts the partners) has to come from somewhere – it either comes from divine love itself or it has to come from one of the finite energy sources available in the physical and chemical world – prestige, dopamine from sex, food, caffeine, etc.

Many originally romantic relationships devolve into platonic friendships as each partner stops getting energized from the sexual chemistry of the other and so instead seeks outside the relationship for energy – from recognition at work, from flirtation with others, from alcohol and drugs, from pleasure from masturbation, from feeling important at church – whatever. We can get finite energy boosts in a thousand different ways. Some of these ways are more socially acceptable than others, but they’re all less that what we’re designed for.

We human beings have infinite longings in our souls because we’re meant to be in relationship with infinite love. We’re meant to get our energy directly from divine love just like plants get their energy directly from the sunlight. Most of us have forgotten, though, how to energize ourselves with divine love because it’s not something we’re taught to do in our culture.

The process of learning how to gain energy from divine love rather than from finite and false sources of energy is a deep one. It’s the essence of all mysticism and it takes years to master. Yet it doesn’t take years for this kind of work to show stunning results in one’s life – that can happen in a matter of weeks with the focused application of principles and practices designed to cut through what’s false in us and heal our wounds.

For this reason I’m working on putting together a course designed to help support the evolutionary force of love in all of us – and I’ll keep you posted as that develops.http://www.awesomelifelove.com/

2012-10-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

Real Love Versus Infatuation

2012-10-07T10:55:00.003-07:00

Real Love Versus Infatuation....

Transitions are always opportunities for growth and healing. Sometimes we need to heal ways of being in the world that are no longer serving us – like my beloveds who realize, through the wedding planning, that they’re suffering from the disease to please and that they need to learn how to put themselves first. Sometimes transitions provide opportunities to expand our internal resources – like the new mother who thinks she doesn't have enough patience to handle the needs of her newborn and yet, through time and the immensity of her love, her patience grows. And sometimes transitions require that we redefine an entire belief system that has governed our way of viewing the world and relationships – like the majority of my beloveds who realize during their engagement that a large portion of their anxiety is caused by their unhealthy and false beliefs about the nature of love.

If you’ve grown up in Western culture, you've been inundated from the time you were born with images and beliefs about love. Most, if not all, of these images are predicated on the archaic paradigm of Romantic Love. Romantic love is not real love. Romantic love is, most simply put, infatuation. It’s based on the model of longing for someone that you can never completely have, and it’s this longing that then becomes mistaken for real love. Being in a state of longing is a dramatic and fully alive experience. It creates butterflies in your belly and light-headedness in your mind. If not understood properly, the one in the longing position can easily believe that she or he is “in love.”

If the object of the longing, often called “the beloved”, does reciprocate, “the lover” often runs the other way. And so begins an all-too familiar game of chase with each participant alternating between the pursuer or distance roles. The game is emotionally intense but ultimately unsatisfying. The bottom line is that real intimacy never occurs. It’s dramatic but safe. It’s temporarily painful but there’s no long-term risk involved. And it certainly isn't a healthy model on which to base a marriage!

Real love, on the other hand, requires that both people show up for each other in the same place at the same time. There is no game-playing, which creates more consistent stability in terms of the intensity of emotion; gone are the ecstatic highs and despairing lows that defined the unhealthy relationships of the past. As such, real love requires that both people risk their hearts to form a bond of true intimacy.

Real love is a conscious choice that often employs the rational part of our brains. Some couples have a “free ride” in the early stages of their relationship where they experience the intense feelings characterized by romantic love, but not everyone. And these feelings certainly aren’t necessary for real love to emerge as the relationship grows, as evidenced by the success rate of arranged marriages in other parts of the world. It’s when the infatuation feelings diminish that the couple has to learn that love is a choice, not a feeling.

Real love accepts that your partner is a fallible, imperfect human, just as you are. Unlike romantic life, which ascends the object of desire to the realm of a god, part of the jolt down to earth that many of beloveds experience during their engagement is the realization that their partner is not perfect – that he isn’t as smart or witty or fun or good-looking as she thought the person she would marry would be. The romantic bubble of marrying Prince Charming is burst. Most of my beloveds focus on one missing area – sometimes to the point of obsession – and it’s often an attribute that never bothered her before they were engaged. As time passes, the real fears are addressed, and love is redefined, the obsession mellows and she learns to accept and fully love her partner exactly as he is.

Real love ebbs and flows in terms of interest, ease, and feelings. In other words, in any healthy relationship there will be times when things effortlessly work, where the spark is alive and the couple is interested in one another and life. And there will be times of, for lack of a better word, boredom. Part of accepting real love is understanding that the boredom is normal and not a symptom that something is wrong with the relationship or that you don’t love your partner enough.

Real love is based on shared values and a solid friendship. You genuinely like each other (even though you might not like everything about your partner).

Real love is action. Real love asks that you give even when you don’t feel like giving (in a healthy way, not a codependent way). Real love is more concerned with how you can give to your partner than what you can get from him or her.

Real love is a spiritual practice in that your focus is not how you can change your partner to alleviate your anger, pain, or annoyance but how you can assume full responsibility for those feelings and find healthy and constructive ways to attend to them. When you change in positive ways, the relationship will positively change as well.

Real love is a lifelong practice. You’re not expected to know how to give and receive real love at the onset of marriage, but are expected to work at it so that over the course of your life together your capacity to love grows.

AwesomeLifeLove.com: What Is Unconditional Love

2012-10-07T09:27:00.001-07:00

AwesomeLifeLove.com: What Is Unconditional Love

Some Basic Principles of Awesoming..

2012-10-05T09:25:00.000-07:00

A list.

1) Awesome (perhaps inevitably, for us mere mortals!) cycles through periods of miserable suck in which your lovelight dims and the queasy miasma of vast self-rejection settles in. It’s okay right now to feel mired in a rotten cesspool of your own spectacular failure.
I feel that way usually at least for one full week out of the month (my PMS is a bloody-mouthed Destroyer of Worlds, and not in that cool way), and sometimes for whole seasons of numbing yuck in which chain-smoking while watching whole tv series consecutively and only leaving the house to go to 12-step meetings or get more cigarettes is a completely valid way to keep from more promptly and actively killing myself. I felt that way pretty much solid from 2004 – 2009. It was great.
2) Awesoming your life, despite how very perky the idea may sound, is actually work that involves soul-melting terror. Soul-melting terror is the essence of sublimity, and awesomeness is sublime. Things that are also sublime include hurricanes, Antartica, Tristan and Isolde, and my PMS.
3) Awesoming requires a rearrangement of your heart and brain, so that your intuitive-embracing-poetic-oxytocin-pumping-whole-picture-seeing-compassionate-truth-unveiling-heart is in charge of your business and your analytical-judgmental-calculating-dopamine-seeking-miserable-adrenalized-frightened-rabid-squirrel brain is given chamomile tea and gently comforted with a warm blanket.
4) Awesoming entails learning to identify with and live from your fundamental goodness, innocence and wonder rather than with your culturally programmed guilt, striving, and fear.
5) You already engage in awesoming and you’re damn good at it or else you wouldn’t be alive and reading this.
6) The process of turning the queasy miasma of vast self-rejection into fertilizer for your slowly-magestically-spinning-sparkling-blue-lotus-of-self-realization is an alchemical one.
It involves paying attention to your dreams, dialoguing with your moods, meditating, journaling, sharing your feelings openly and non-violently with others, playing pretend, writing poetry and making art, throwing parties, dressing up, enacting freaky rituals in moonlight that would scare your mom, singing songs, and loving people both madly and tepidly, as the situation requires.
7) Awesoming isn’t something that’s given much space and encouragement in our society. Mostly because when you’re engaged in the work of awesoming you’re much less interested in buying stuff, you become allergic to lies, you tend to share generously in public and you bring forth spurtzing geysers of joy into the world. All of which greatly interferes with global corporate capitalism.
So, there you have it. Awesoming is hard and mostly non-glamorous work.

Highly non-glamorous things I often do in the service of awesoming include:

1) Sitting in moldy church basements and over-heated social halls at 12-step meetings every week.
2) Crying and freaking out.
3) Making food in my tiny-ass closet of a kitchen for folks I may or may not immediately like.
4) Devoting whole days to questioning the reality of my thoughts, beliefs and perceptions, Byron Katie-style.
5) Faithfully studying New Age tomes and self-help books from the 1970s like A Course in Miracles, A New Earth, The Handbook to Higher Consciousness, and The Nature of Personal Reality.
6) Hanging out at drum circles with people older than my parents who unselfconsciously chant in made-up “Native American” languages and refer to the world as “the matrix.”
7) Blogging.
8) Passing up on real jobs in order to have more time for all of the above.
All of which is to say…. awesoming is counter-cultural, difficult, time-consuming, subjects one to accusations of dorkiness and to being made fun of by 16 year olds, and totally worth it.
Because when the foul miasma of rotten self-rejection lifts and I get peeks at my true nature and everyone else’s true nature of massive, throbbing, heart-pounding lovelight glory – well, that just rocks.

For More Visit Our Site http://www.awesomelifelove.com/

Why boys Are best.

2012-10-04T08:41:00.002-07:00

Why boys r best .

The way they Hug you when you Cry….

They way the keep looking you when you ask why
are they looking they say
“Now i can’t even see you..?

The way they are Jealous when a boy flirts with you
The way they put their heads in your laps or
shoulder when they are sad.

The way they don’t let you go back when you go
to meet them

The way they say I Love You & I Miss You & you
want that moment to just pause
The way they take off your hairband & say ” You
are looking awesome in loose hairs

The way they try to convince you when you get
angry…
by doing silly things

The way they say
“Today your looking beautiful..”
after spending hours with you

The way they want

your 100% attention and when you unable to
talk…and they get angry….and say. .
”Ok than…stay bussyy Boys are Worth Loving…ya

you just need one guy to prove not all boys
are bad and cheaters

They are sweet…emotional …matured…and loyal
for their Princess. . . . .♥

Life is unpredictable.

2012-10-04T01:14:00.001-07:00

1. Life, is unpredictable, for sure. u never know when time's going to take a turn. So, do watever u want to do….Don wait for the right time…right time is the time wen u hav decided to do it…so don b late.. 2. Family, they r the closest ones. God picked them for us to take care of us. No matter how much occupied v r, make at least a minute long call to say hi to them. believe me, when they say everything's alright, it actually makes everything alright. 3. friends, they r not just friends, they r our achievements. v hand picked them among all this crowd. Care for them, they r not just partners in partying and fun, they r the ones who'll understand u and stand by ur side wen no else can. 4. Love, first of all..ya..it exists!! if u really think u are or u were in love, then u can never be a failure. u have already succeeded by feeling the most beautiful emotion in world. and its not about owning sum1…its about giving urself to sum1.. 5. urself, ya i intetionally kept it in end. and its location differs to person to person. but ya dats true, with all the other aspects, u have to give sum time to urself. so love urself, u r the best..

Lovers Needed

2012-10-03T08:25:00.001-07:00

The world needs lovers.

Lovers aren’t necessarily people in romantic relationships. They’re not necessarily young or old, men or women – or any other demographic category.

Lovers are people for whom love as a profound force and mode of perception – bountiful, particular-yet-universal, ever-new and ever-revealing – is the highest principle and the top priority.

If you’re a lover…

§ You want to put your love into the world of form in a way that’s both precise and transcendent.

§ You want to let go of the limits that the appearance of scarcity and competition sometimes put on your heart.

§ You catch glimpses of astounding mystery and beauty in the world and seek to amplify and share those visions.

§ Your imagination is more than just a tool for fantasy – it shows you layers of reality that our culture obscures.

§ You sometimes feel frustrated at the uphill battle of making your love manifest through the gravity of your own fear and unhelpful habits.

§ You have painful wounds that come from daily life in a society that values just about everything – money, prestige, drugs, violence, sensation – over love.

§ You receive constant messages from the mainstream culture that you’re nuts for valuing connection and heart and community above personal gain.

Well, I don’t think you’re nuts. I think you’re the hope of this world, and I’m interested in supporting you in every way I can. I made the INDECISION RESCUE KIT as a way of helping us lovers lighten up on ourselves.

***

I’ve had a goodly amount of trouble articulating just who it is I’m trying to serve and reach with my work. I’ve talked about geniuses and brilliant people – but most folks who I see as brilliant and geniuses have trouble identifying with those terms out of their modesty – and also, to speak of someone’s genius or brilliance doesn’t necessarily get to the core of what attracts me. I don’t get particularly thrilled by people who have a lot of creativity but a lack of heart.

During a visit to beautiful Baltimore this spring I saw a quote from Vincent van Goh on the wall of the American Museum of Visionary Art that just about flipped my brains: “I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.”

Immediately I was like – whoah. That’s true. That’s some Capital “T” TRUTH right there.

I can get way excited by art – but art that doesn’t come from a place of love or aspiration-towards-love leaves me cold.

After a lot of early success, I withdrew from academia because the posturing and intellectualism turned me off. I experienced first-hand how much disdain there is out there for the notion of love – like it’s some ooey-gooey, sentimental, ridiculous thing that we’d all be better off without.

At the same time that I was hearing love insulted left and right, I noticed professors and grad students all around me literally destroying themselves with drugs and alcohol. One particularly brilliant man did it to the point of suicide-by-overdose. I think he could have used a lot of the very love he made it a point to disdain.

I want to create a culture where a focus on love and connection is seen as a deep strength rather than a pointless weakness. Where love isn’t just celebrated as exclusionary attachment but as an all-embracing white-hot inspiration. I’m pretty sure such a culture is what my hero Queer Jesus called the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth.

If this resonates with you, I hope you’ll join my list so we can keep in touch. I’ll send you the INDECISION RESCUE KIT as my first gesture of encouragement – and much more will ensue from there.

Visit our beautiful Site http://www.awesomelifelove.com/

What Is Unconditional Love

2012-10-02T04:14:00.002-07:00

Love without Limits

Unconditional love is the decision to never enact emotional violence against yourself or anyone else, ever. It’s a decision that’s radical and deeply freeing.

You can become free of self-hatred and misery, free from patterns of suffering that keep you stuck. It doesn’t matter if your problem is sucky romantic relationships or a job that torments you or a giant creative block or a compulsion to use substances or engage in dangerous behaviors. It just doesn’t matter what your problem is because all problems manifest from one thing: a lack of love. If you become willing to apply simple spiritual principles in your life (love; forgiveness; hospitality; generosity; honesty; hope – and the greatest of these is love) without condition and without reservation, then your life can turn into a stunning glitter bomb of joy and possibility and magic.

I know that this is true because I went from being someone who shot heroin every day and wanted to die, someone whose primary concern in life was whether or not I could get enough drugs that day to numb the stunning pain of the problem of being me to being someone who wakes up every morning soaked in gratitude and thrilled to be myself – even when I’m broke, even when I’m single, even when I’ve failed at major projects that were dear to me. This same self that I literally wanted to murder – I now cherish and delight in, without condition and without limit.

The Unconditional Decision

How did I get to this point? It happened because I decided to give myself huge joy and love and respect no matter what. What does that mean? It means that no matter what I do, no matter what happens – I’m going to feel great. “Carolyn – you mean, even if you kill somebody you’re not going to feel guilty, you’re not going to feel shame?” And my answer to that is: yes, precisely. There’s nothing I could do which I would not utterly forgive myself for, and forgiving myself means letting myself feel happy and wonderful. It means refusing to ever reject or punish myself, for any reason. And the thing is, when I’m willing to give myself unconditional love, unconditional kindness- which really just means I’m willing to never impose shame and regret on myself – when I have that willingness, I’m without violence in my heart. I would never want to hurt someone or kill someone because I feel so damn happy and loving.

Sometimes people think I’m crazy when I mention the unconditionalness and unlimitedness of my love for myself. And that’s okay – they can think I’m crazy and they can tell me all about the conditions under which they believe that shame and regret and guilt are appropriate. Usually these conditions are situations of violence. What the people who tell me this don’t understand is that regret and guilt and shame are themselves forms of violence: inner violence, emotional violence. The use of them creates more violence. Do you think that people who hurt and abuse other people are filled with self-acceptance and joy? No; they’re filled with shame and regret and bitterness and rage. They’re inwardly filled with emotional violence and that violence manifests outwardly as harm to others and harm to themselves.

What I’ve learned over the years is any limit I’m willing to put on the love I give myself is a limit I’m willing to put on the love that I give you and the love that I give the universe. And the smallest, most seemingly reasonable limit becomes a giant dam that plugs up the flow of delight and wonder in my life. So I don’t mess around with making up limits on love any more. I just give it all, all the time, without holding back, without trying to play it safe.

A Limit On Love is An Attempt to Control

I realized that any time I’m seeking to limit love, what I’m doing is trying to control. I’m trying to control myself to make myself fit into some “acceptable” mode. I’m trying to control you; to control the whole world. But it’s impossible. Any time that I try to control something, I end up in pain. The magic that I am, that you are, that the world is – is quite beyond control. Have you noticed? I did – I saw that no matter how much energy I put into making myself acceptable I always fell short – I always found reason to regret something I’d done, something I’d said, something I’d failed to do. And what I realized is that regret, shame and guilt – they’re all forms of violence against myself, they’re feelings but they’re actually the result of a belief that’s a weapon. What is that weapon? It’s the belief that I’m not always already fundamentally good, that I’m not fundamentally perfect and whole and valuable and innocent.

By becoming willing to be happy and grateful in all situations – even in situations when I’ve failed or where someone or something has failed me — I can practice unconditional love, I can practice the truth that undoes the lie that myself or anyone else is less than wholly good, wholly innocent, wholly wonderful as God created them to be.

Married or not you should read this...

2012-09-29T00:34:00.002-07:00

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words

, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the Woman who had given ten Years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and Bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s Time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the Last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, JANE, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the Floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

You cannot have the correct attitude

2012-09-25T11:22:00.001-07:00

You cannot have the correct attitude and linger in failure and mediocrity. A powerful and positive attitude has more potency than any other quality you can possess . A great attitude causes you to rise above your limiting beliefs ensuring determined and consistent efforts. Attitude, whether good or bad, always foster similar offspring. what does it take to change an attitude ? change a belief and your attitude will immediately follow .

Commitment It’s the new Love

2012-04-21T08:30:00.001-07:00

You’re at a bar with your significant other and you leave him or her for a few moments to collect your drinks. You’re only gone a few minutes but when you return, you find an attractive stranger in your place, whispering sweet nothings into your partner’s ear. How would you react towards your partner?

This is the situation that Slotter and fellow researchers had ninety-nine undergraduates immerse themselves in. At the time subjects were all in dating relationships and the researchers were aiming to understand the basis of aggression towards one’s partner. Appended to the above situation were three scenarios demonstrating three different responses on the part of the subject’s partner:

In the first case, the partner politely wards off the stranger’s advances, displaying a clear lack of interest. In the second case, they express some doubts about the state of your relationship and shows clear interest in this mysterious stranger. In the third case they openly flirt with the stranger and confess outright that they are unhappy in their relationship with you.

The participants responses were analysed to gauge the degree of aggression in their responses. Unsurprisingly, the third situation incited the most aggressive behaviour in the subject and the first the least. However, the purpose of this study was to examine the correlation between relationship-commitment and aggression with the researchers hypothesising that the degree of aggression would be lower in those couples who judged themselves to be more committed to their partner. Sure enough, on taking measures of relationship commitment, affection towards the partner and aggression towards the partner, the researchers found that the subjects who claimed to be more committed to their relationship displayed less aggression than their not-so committed counterparts. Interestingly, the measures of anger and affection towards the significant other were unhelpful when it came to predicting aggressive behaviour in the given circumstances.

To further validate their findings, the researchers conducted another, similarly entertaining experiment. This time forty-three couples were brought in and measured on their levels of commitment and satisfaction with regards to their relationship separately from their respective partners. Then, they were given a set of color pencils and told that the experimenters wanted to evaluate their creative abilities. On completing this task the finished drawings were gathered up and the subjects were informed that their partners would be assessing their creative abilities. To spice things up further, the subjects were told they’d receive monetary compensation proportional to how highly their partner rated their artwork.

Needless to say, the ‘assessment’ the subjects received was completely random and not from their partners at all. The experimenter supplemented the false ratings with corresponding comments that the partner was supposed to have made. Then, the experimenter gave the subjects a voodoo doll that was meant to represent their partner, and a box of pins. Telling the participants to vent any aggression they might feel towards their partner by sticking pins in the voodoo doll provided experiments with an effective and ethical means of measuring behavioral aggression in the participants.

Again, it came as no surprise that the subjects who received the poor rating, less money and harsher comments from their partner (or so they thought) were the most aggressive towards the voodoo doll while the ones with more flattering feedback were the least.

And again, it seemed that the more committed the individual was to the relationship the more reduced his or her aggression towards the partner. And again, the degree of commitment could be used to predict subsequent levels of aggression while level of satisfaction seemed to have little bearing on the value.

The experimenters went on to examine the relationship between commitment and partner provocation with two further studies and their hypothesis was consistently verified. The less committed the individual was to the relationship, the more likely he or she was to lash out at his or her partner when provoked. While this in itself is not surprising, it is interesting to note that variables such as affection towards one’s partner and satisfaction with the relationship do not exhibit similar propensities. Could “I’m committed to you” mean more to a partner than the classic “I love you”?

EVERY GIRL SHOULD READ THIS!

2012-03-24T07:17:00.001-07:00

WRITTEN BY A GUY..

Girls need to realize: We guys don't care if you talk to other guys. We don't care if you're friends with other guys. But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off. It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there. We don't care if a guy calls OR text you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned.

Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. That it can't wait till the morning. Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/gorgeous/cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it. Don't tell us we're wrong. We'll stop trying to convince you. The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.

Yeah, you can quote me. Don't be mad when we hold the door open. Take Advantage of the mood i'm in. Let us pay for you! dont 'feel bad' We enjoy doing it. It's expected. Smile and say 'thank you. Kiss us when no one's watching. If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed. You don't have to get dressed up for us. If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own. We like you for who you are and not what you are. Honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's. or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up. Don't take everything we say seriously. Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it. Don't get angry easily. Stop using magazines/media as your bible. Don't talk about how hott Chris Brown, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us. It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that. Whatever happened to the word "handsome'/'beautiful' i'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/cutie/sexy' or whatever else you can think of. On the other hand im not sayin i wouldnt like it ether.

Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change!!!!! Ditch his sorry butt, disgrace to the male population and find someone who will treat you with utter respect Someone who will honor your morals.

Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest. Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes. Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel. Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes....and say 'i love you' ..and actually mean it. Give the nice guys a chance. Guys repost this if you agree. Girls repost this if you think it's cute.. Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this, so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost this. Life is too short to complain about everything that comes your way so stop and smell the roses in life because you might never have another time to take it, so take your time because they are all different in every way, so take chances in life, if it doesn't work out then fine, there are always more roses to smell....♥