Axis of Fat

If you prick us, do we not bleed?

Janey — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 03:36:58 +0000

I am more than a fat person. I am deeply passionate about politics. I love reading. I am an advocate for human rights. I'm one of the biggest pop culture geeks in the 'verse. I am a volunteer for mental health organisations. I am an animal rights activist. I have the dirtiest sense of humour of all my friends. I love photography and home renovation. I love gardening in my veggie patch. Yep, I eat veggies! And I'm still fat! I'm a vegetarian, in fact, so it offends me when people tell me to put down the bucket of KFC - the truth is i rarely eat fast food because there is little that is tasty and available to me. But even if there were? I probably wouldn't eat it then, either.

I am a human being first and foremost. I have feelings. I feel pain the same way a thin person feels pain. I am hurt by hurtful comments. But the likelihood is that outside of the FA sphere, people wont see that. People see me as a fatty, and that's it.

"It's just calories in calories out. You need to lose the weight for your health! STOP CLOGGING UP OUR MEDICAL SYSTEM WITH YOUR HEALTH PROBLEMS THAT I CAN DETERMINE JUST BY LOOKING AT YOU. You're fat, thus you must have type II diabetes. You're fat, so you must have heart problems. You're fat, so you deserve to be namecalled, harassed and generally looked down upon. Thinner people are better than you. You should be taxed more because you are fat. We should make doors thinner to exclude fat people. What are you talking about, fat people boost the economy because they consume more! I have the right to judge what's in your shopping trolley, because YOU ARE FAT."

Some of the above comments are on this post (which AoF's Nick was interviewed for, hi nick!) I wrote a comment in response to the other comments (engaging in this behaviour always reminds me of this comic, but when it comes to this sort of bigotry I have to speak up.) Here is the comment I wrote (which is currently awaiting moderation.)

"You are dehumanising fat people with this kind of talk. We are all individuals that are all fat for different reasons. Regardless of those reasons, you have no right to discuss what I should be doing with my body. You wouldn't want someone forcing you to do something, would you? It's so easy for you to be this way under the anonymity of the internet, but I dare you to say this to a fat person on the street. You might then see that fat people have feelings too. Yep, I'm fat. I'm also an atheist, vegetarian, self-confessed geek who loves gardening. But you have no right whatsoever to be the judge of my body, what I look like, how I act, what I buy and (maude forbid) what I eat. You should be looking at your own prejudices towards people who are different, and the hateful bigoted attitudes spewing from your mouths."

I don't want to deal with these behaviours anymore. Why can't we all just get along.

A note to bra manufacturers: YOU CAUSE ME RAAAAAAGE

Janey — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 12:00:35 +0000

I am fat. (You may have already guessed this one, heh.) But I also have small boobs. Like, A/B Cup. It's really annoying. As my friend Kylie put it, manufacturers automatically assume that as your band size goes up so must your boob size.

Note to bra makers: THIS ISN'T TRUE FOR EVERYONE.

They simply do not make cute bras in my size. They barely make ANY bras in my size. In fact, there is ONE store in Brisbane that carries a total of ONE bra that will actually fit me properly. And it's $79, and both the straps broke within four months. And the order I made to the internet company that sells my size in bras has been delayed until September. SEPTEMBER. Sometimes I feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, when they wont let her shop. I HAVE MONEY TO SPEND, WHY WONT YOU LET ME SPEND IT RETAILERS.

It is so infuriating, as I need just as much support as the next bra-wearing person. I mean, when I'm powerwalking on the treadmill I want some support. I want clothing that fits properly, and that doesn't continually shift because i'm not wearing properly fitted undergarments. I am nearly in tears as I write this because all I fucking want is a bra that fits me properly.

I am in the process of writing a very strongly worded letter to Hestia (which supposedly Holds Every Size Tit In Australia), Berlei, Bonds, and any other bra manufacturer I can think of. This letter will ask them why they don't cater to those who are larger, but with small boobs. Honestly though? I'm way too angrily passionate about this right now to word it coherently. I needed somewhere to gripe, and surely I'm not the only one here who has a large band size but smaller boobs! So if you can leave a comment that commiserates/sympathizes/tells me how to word these letters, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.

Nick interviewed by ABC Radio Australia

Nick — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 04:37:39 +0000

Today I was part of a panel interview on ABC Radio Australia which also featured Samantha Thomas from Monash University (on twitter as @samanthastweets and soon to have a blog).

I don't think they quite got what they bargained for as we certainly weren't there to sell weight loss to the pacific. Have a listen and let us know what you think.

I made the recording myself so sorry in advance for my twitter client making all sorts of noises during the recording.

Oprah and Cankles

Janey — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 00:43:00 +0000

"Coming up next: How to look instantly slimmer just by changing your handbag"

Oh, Oprah. I love Oprah so much. I feel like I've grown up watching her, and I really admire a lot of the things she does. I mean, she's bloody inspirational to millions of people around the globe. But sometimes? I really want to sit her down and give her a good talking to.

I am currently watching her shoe, handbag and accessory intervention show. Oh, Oprah. Please, PLEASE stop instilling the idea that slimmer = more attractive in your viewers. You are a woman in the media who has garnered an immense amount of power over the past twenty years. And if spiderman has taught me anything, it's that with great power comes great responsibility.

For the record, Oprah's show is all about how the right shoe and handbag can make you look like you've lost ten pounds. I get that fashion is generally weight-centric. It always seems to be about looking slimmer and taller. Elongating the legs. Getting rid of those cankles by wearing impossibly high heels. But what i also realise is THAT FUCKING SUCKS.

Frankly, I HATE wearing heels. And every time i have, it's caused me extreme pain, and I just. don't. get. why we should ever make ourselves uncomfortable for fashion. Even at my sister's wedding, I wore heels for the ceremony and as soon as that was over (I was a bridesmaid) I took them off. I wore flats for all the photos, and rocked it hardcore. So what if i have cankles? My cankles are fucking beautiful, just like the rest of my body. I love fashion, and more power to you if you're comfortable wearing five inch heels. But what's the fucking point of wearing something that will inevitably fuck up your spine, hips, knees, ankles and feet - just to cave to what society thinks we should be wearing?

To me this is the same thing as being told to lose weight - because it's currently "in fashion" to be thinner. I don't want to lose weight. I don't want to look slimmer. I don't want to wear heels. And I'm still a fat, fashionable and fabulous young woman.

Lookin' great! Did you lose weight?

Janey — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 06:29:53 +0000

"Wow, you look amazing! Have you lost weight?"

I'm sure it's a phrase that everyone has heard or used at some stage in their lives. It's actually something that gets said to me a fair bit these days (coming from those few who don't know i'm involved in the Size Acceptance movement, mainly) and it really irks me. The main reason is annoys me as much as it does is that I'm fatter now than I ever have been. For the record, it's not my lack of fat that's making me look awesome; it's the fact that i am confident and in love with the person I am. I'm sexy and attractive and cute and funny and beautiful and smart and happy. And whether they realise it or not, that's the change that people are seeing in me. I look great because I love me. I'm happy with who I am.

One of my close friends has recently shed a buttload of weight, and i hadn't seen them in a while. When i saw them I was a little shocked - I said "Wow, you've lost a lot of weight!" and I didn't mean as a compliment at all. I honestly thought they might've been sick - dramatic weight losses/gains are signs of illness in my world, and I was instantly worried. But when I commented, there was a look of triumph in their face as though they had finally beaten a huge demon - the weight's off, finally i can love myself!

I love that my friend now thinks they're worthy of love, but the reality is that they always have been. I don't want to take away their happy feelings in the slightest, and believe me, I love compliments as much as the next person. And I love giving people compliments too, my mum brought me up to be this way! Whenever I see someone whose outfit I particularly like, or if they have great makeup/skin/whatever I usually tell them - even if they're a complete stranger.

But the thing of it is.... the measure of a person's worth does not lie in their looks. I'm sure we all know people who are really physically attractive (whatever that means to you) that are total douchenuggets. I know I do. And it's good to remember that what society deems attractive this month has nothing to do with your worth as a living creature. As part of the size acceptance community, it's important to discuss when someone talks in generalisations about weight. Or appearance in general, actually. Nobody has a right to speak to you about how good (or conversely how bad) being a certain size is. We are a diverse society in which there is no "right" way to be. You are who you are, and that is perfect.

How do you deal with these sorts of "compliments", both to yourself and others? Am I over-analyzing again? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.

Thu, 01 Jan 1970 00:00:00 +0000

n/a

Weight Watchers - I can't get behind that.

Janey — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 00:17:58 +0000

We are a weight obsessed society. It's everywhere; from TV to magazines to bloody facebook. Lose 5kg in one week! Dance yourself slim! Eat only cabbage soup and you too can look like me! Negative calorie water, YESS! Celebrities (who seem to be the body ideal for many) have abs just two weeks after giving birth, lest they be seen on the cover of a magazine looking less than svelte. And so there are programs for us regular schlumps so we too can look as good as those celebrities! HOORAY FOR WEIGHT WATCHERS!!

Look, here's the thing. I just can't get behind Weight Watchers. I have grown up with the whole thing drilled into me from a very early age (my aunt has been a WW fanatic for nearly all of my life) and knowing my personality, I'm sure this makes me totally biased against the whole program. I get that. And perhaps it's just the way my aunt did the program, but I cannot see where the value lies, other than making a person feel inadequate about their current size and enhancing their need to fit into one particular beauty ideal. And when I see a company that whose entire business revolves around losing weight, of making people count points towards everything they eat, of receiving extra points if you exercise.... it honestly makes me think of someone with disordered eating. Because those things I just mentioned? They are all signs of an eating disorder.

And yes, I am fully aware of the confidence it can give individuals, but I don't know if we as a society should be congratulating people merely for losing weight. Doesn't that just perpetuate the cycle of thinner = better? Beauty should not revolve around weight. Beauty is confidence; beauty is standing up for yourself; beauty is the ability to say you are beautiful and really mean it, regardless of what "society" tells us.

My aunt (bless her heart) gave me a couple of WW points books when I was in my teenage years. I remember being totally saddened when I had something like 18 points allotted to me for one day, and a slice of cheesecake was 17 points. Given my penchant for cheesecake, you can imagine that I didn't follow the whole WW ideology for too long. I get that they don't promote eating only cheesecake in a day, for what it's worth. But why even give people the option of points if they can't "spend" them how they see fit?

I know quite a few people who either participate in or agree with the idea of WW, and far be it from me to tell people what to do. I think a lot of people go for the community WW gives them - you get to meet people who share similar stories; you can commiserate with their trials and celebrate with their triumphs. I totally get that - I just wish there were groups available to people that don't intertwine someone's value with what they weigh. Focus on healthful eating, focus on exercise, but fuckdammit. Stop focusing on your weight as an indicator of your worth. You are more than a number on a scale.

Have you had a positive WW experience, or know someone who has? Do you think this business (and others like it) are a good, bad or neutral thing? Am I totally off-base with my opinions? Leave your thoughts in the comments below!

Fat Eats.

Janey — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 09:55:05 +0000

Four or so months ago I became a vegetarian. This was because I thought it was hypocritical for me to eat meat; if I can't actually deal with seeing an animal slaughtered, why should I be eating them? I don't think this is the right viewpoint for everyone, and I would never -ever- lecture a person about what they eat. Like everything what people eat is a personal choice.

Previously I have ranted about Jamie Oliver and his quest to end fat people. I am being hyperbolic when I say that; I think Jamie Oliver's intentions are actually not that bad. He's trying to educate people about what food is good for your health. Now I don't necessarily think he's going about it in the right way (shock tactics and body shaming suck, yo) but I do recognise he's trying to make the world a better place. (And by better I do not mean thinner.) His methods are in a similar vein to Michelle Obama's. She is trying to get people moving and eating more healthfully and that's a fantastic goal. Unfortunately she's doing it by creating the action to end childhood obesity. All this kind of initiative does is shame kids (and adults) who are obese. And while I'm sure that wasn't her intention, the fact of the matter is that people are going to take a volatile topic such as fat and skew the information to whatever they think is right. Fat kids will continue to be bullied simply for being fat; fat adults will associate the way they look with something bad - thus promoting negative body image. This in turn (however accidentally) promotes an industry that teaches people the way the way you look has direct correlation to your health and attractiveness, so you should change that at any cost.

It's all too easy to blame particular groups for the world's woes when really we should be tackling deeper problems; ones that investigate WHY people are the way they are. Often when I bring facts up to people who know little about the size acceptance movement, they say that the idea just gives fat people an "easy out" or an excuse to be lazy. That people are fat because they don't do enough exercise and they eat like shit. After all, it's just "calories in, calories out" right? First off, I hate it when people have said that to me, and be prepared to be verbally bitchslapped if you do. Secondly, saying something like that brings a complex societal issue with many different causes down to a few cliche catchphrases that aren't true for every person. For some people it might be calories in calories out, but not for everyone. And even if that IS the case, what right does anyone have in making a judgement over how a person eats or exercises? Even if you look at it from a health perspective instead of a size outlook, what right does anyone have to comment on how my health should be? It's my body and my choice. As long as I am not hurting anyone else, I will always feel this way. And frankly, if people were really concerned about health and not weight, then they would preach to everyone equally. I have always eaten more healthfully than my sister who is a size six - why isn't anyone lecturing her about the benefits of eating more fruit and vegies instead of meringues and packets of nerds?

One of the tactics Jamie Oliver always tries to use is showing that it takes less time to cook a good healthy meal his way than it is to stick something in the microwave. By doing this, he's skirting the one of the actual issues. People don't cook full meals from scratch because it might require using a food processor/frying pan/mixmaster/chopping board, and all of those things require cleanup after use. Microwave meals and/or fast food can usually be eaten straight out of their packages. For convenience's sake I know what I'd choose. Convenience foods are booming because people have less time and willingness to spend on cooking. I totally get it. I don't agree with it, but I get it!

Another issue I struggle with is that I don't think it's anyone's business on what I eat or how much I exercise. I think as long as a person is educated about what they are eating, then they should be able to eat anything they like. I mean, I have a penchant for a good butter chicken. Now I don't use chicken these days, but it's still gt a buttload of butter and cream in it, and I recognise this isn't going to be the best thing for my health. I know that having too much of it is going to end up raising my cholesterol levels, and heart problems run in my family. I am aware of the health issues associated with eating the way I sometimes do, but in the end it comes down to it being my choice. I don't insist that anyone else eat or think the way I do, and so I don't think it's anyone's business but my own. I'm well educated on what may happen to my body if I eat the foods I do. I am aware that I probably wont live until I'm 100 years old. But that's okay for me. I'm not suicidal either - I just want to eat what my body wants without being shamed by society.

To eat or not to eat - that is the question! Leave your thoughts about this topic in the comments below.

Blatantly Obvious - Being Pregnant isn't the same as being Fat.

Omega — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 02:48:23 +0000

To me, the crux of the "Fat Acceptance" movement is a core belief that hating yourself, and specifically hating your body, is a bad, bad thing. I see it more of a "Body Acceptance" movement, to be honest. All of us, fat, thin and everyone in between needs to be a little kinder to ourselves. None of us are doing ourselves, or anyone else any good by hating our own, or other people's bodies.

We all know that body-hate is fashionable. Many of us in FA World also realise that body-hate is really damaging, and that it's an epidemic sweeping our society that's doing a heck of a lot more damage than the supposed "Obesity epidemic" the media is so fond of talking about.

Sometimes it seems as though this particular form of hate has become so acceptable it's considered normal. So normal, in fact, that it seems it's a suitable riff for a paid blogger on a national media site.

Case in Point: Alison Godfrey, and her recent rant on her blog "The Naughty Corner". Her blog entry is entitled, "Third trimester pregnancy - what it’s really like."

At the time of writing her entry Alison was 35 weeks pregnant, right in the home stretch of pregnancy. Unsurprisingly, she's uncomfortable and cranky.

So cranky, in fact, that she didn't have time to spell check her entry, let alone determine the difference between "your" and "you're", but we can forgive her these minor infractions. After all, she has a new life growing inside of her, and as any woman who's ever been pregnant can tell you this is not only a wonderful, joyous time, but also an extremely uncomfortable time, physically.

In the third trimester, one would expect that morning sickness (who ever named it that, clearly never had it) would be well and truly over, thankfully. Unfortunately Alison seems to be choosing to continue to erupt with bile right through her pregnancy, and this vitriolic outpouring of hate directed at fat people is just as odious and unpleasant as anything that nausea-causing-hormones might make you produce.

Apparently it's not the muscle-relaxing hormones flooding her system, causing every bone joint to loosen and ache that's making her uncomfortable. It's not the baby inside of her, dancing a tango on her bladder and digestive tract, altering her centre of balance and pushing her stomach acids upwards for heartburn and reflux fun that is the cause of her grief. It's not the fact that she has a small person occupying some of the space where her lungs used to be that's causing her to huff and puff if she exerts herself. It's not the fact that her entire body is using all of its energy to GROW A WHOLE NEW HUMAN BEING INSIDE OF HER that's making her feel utterly exhausted...

Oh no, it's because she is "Fat". And in her newly "Fat" state, she has gained an intimate understanding of what it is like for all people everywhere to be fat.

It would not take a genius, one would think, to realise that having a living, moving little person occupying your abdominal region is a vastly different physical experience to having fat deposits in various places all over your body. This simple fact seems to elude Alison. We're treated to several paragraphs of how what she is experiencing must be in all ways similar to the living hell that any fat person must be residing in on a daily basis - in her dystopian fantasy world.

WHY would anyone choose this, she asks plaintively. Why indeed, Alison? Let's ignore the irony that Alison perhaps chose to get pregnant and definitely chose to stay pregnant, wilfully and stubornly exposing herself to these various physical discomforts.

Why would anyone choose to be fat, when they are ridiculed, scorned, and when hating them is so accepted by society that something like this makes it to publication?

Perhaps, dear Alison, it's because they don't actually have a choice. Perhaps, and I know this sounds an utterly LUDICIOUS idea, but try to contemplate it for a moment.. perhaps they are accepting of the body they have, and not consumed with self-hatred. Perhaps, even.. they're fat and healthy, and NOT experiencing symptoms day-to-day that are the same or similar as a woman in the third trimester of her pregnancy.

Some women experience the darkening of their skin when they are pregnant. This can be quite pronounced. Some women get what's called a "mask of pregnancy", and their skin gets all blotchy, with light and darker patches. Would it be acceptable for a woman who was experiencing this symptom to rant and rave on a national news site about how she had a new understanding of the lives of other darker-skinned people? "I've got a confession to make - having Cholasma faciei/melasma makes you intolerant of black people. I can't find a makeup base to match my skintone, it's terrible! Why would anyone choose to be dark-skinned, it's just so hard, why don't they do something about it?"

Would that have made it past the editors to publication? Would that induce anything but horror and rage and disbelief in all who read it?

It would have been completely, utterly unacceptable to publish - as this nasty piece of hatred should have been.

She admits in the first line of her entry that what she's saying is blatantly discriminatory. In the same way that any sentence that needs to be begun with "I'm not racist/sexist/homophobic, but....." should not be uttered at all, let alone published, this collection of ill-informed hateful words should also never have made it past an editors desk.

Shame on you, News Ltd, and shame on you, Alison.

Feelings, nothing more than feelings...

Nick — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 13:01:13 +0000

As a male member of the Fat Acceptance community and as a blogger on this site, I have been contacted by the media to talk about fat acceptance or being fat in general. I'm more than happy to agree to these requests where I'm sure that it isn't just a chance to put down fat people for being fat. I have no interest in helping the media reinforce the negative perceptions which were created by the media in the first place.

People have commented on how confident I sound and how I have the capacity to communicate my points clearly and in an manner that is easy to understand. It probably comes as a surprise then to learn that I actually have problems speaking on the phone or in person with people I don't know. I'm hopeless at face to face communication with someone I don't know when it is a social situation. If I don't have to do it, I don't seem to do very well at it.

Perhaps then it is my passion for Fat Acceptance and how strongly I believe in it. It's because of my unwavering belief in myself and those around me. Let me tell you this is wrong. Very wrong. Very recently I've been struggling a bit with how I feel about my body. It's very easy in these times to fall back to old habits and believe that all my problems are because I am fat, and therefore weight loss is the solution.

Yesterday I was in the chemist and they have a weight loss program that they run there. I saw the after picture of the lady who had completed the program and she seemed so happy with herself. I want that happiness, so surely by drinking nothing but shakes and losing 75+kg I'm going to be just as happy as her.

Somehow I doubt it.

Happiness comes from within a person. How many unhappy people do you know who aren't fat? Does the height of a person affect their happiness? What about their race? Does the fact that I was born in November mean that I'm more or less happy than Natalie, who is born in December? Think about it for a minute instead of sprouting the rote learned answers that the media/your friends/your parents/society have conditioned you to have.

I'm not a psychologist. In fact, I struggle to spell the word correctly without a spell checker. If I asked you to think about what makes you happy and unhappy, you would find two things (or at least I did). I feel happy or unhappy when a) someone does something/something occurs/something external to me makes me feel happy or unhappy or b) when I think something/feel something/something internal makes me feel happy or unhappy.

Being fat doesn't make me happy or unhappy. People's reactions/thoughts/words about me being fat make me happy or unhappy. How I perceive the fact that I am fat make me happy or unhappy. And really since you have to process the external stuff as well as the internal stuff, it's how you process it that determines how you feel about it.

"Wha? It's all my fault that I'm unhappy? Should I just accept being discriminated against?" No. But you decide what you feel about it.

I can decide to feel sad and retreat inside myself. Alternatively I can calmly explain to the person why I think they are incorrect in whatever they've said (or done). There will be times where I just decide that the person isn't going to get it, so I choose to not waste more time and more on. I can remain happy because I realise within myself that I am fat and that this doesn't mean I need to be unhappy or feel inferior and that is all that really matters.

Sometimes I will not feel happy about being fat. It's true that society is designed around the "normal sized" person, whatever that is. There are things that I want to do that I physically can't because the designer has said "Thou shalt not be fat." Other times, I'll just feel fug in my clothes and blame being fat, instead of raising up against the fashion designers who decide that a tent is perfect for a fat man to wear to work.

But it doesn't make me any less committed to the Fat Acceptance movement. Sometimes you have to fall over, feel like crap and then get up again. It doesn't mean you failed.

It means you're human.