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We've moved!

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 16:33:00 +0000

We're closing down this blog and moving over to our website at www.romanticdeception.com. You'll find our most recent blog posts there and information about the book, Romantic Deception: The Six Signs He's Lying, and upcoming and previous speaking engagements. We hope you'll stop by and check it out.

Dating Safety Tips for Women Over 40

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Thu, 05 May 2011 21:04:00 +0000

It's no surprise that three out of eleven tips suggest conducting some background research on your date. At the very least Google the guy, then check out his Facebook, MySpace and Linkedin profiles. Dig as deep as you can go. It's amazing how much information you can gather without ever leaving the comfort of your home. I should know, I've made a career out of it.

Not comfortable with your own investigative skills? Then hire a private investigator. There's a group called Female Legal and Investigative Professionals (F.L.I.P.) with members across the country. To learn more, click here.

Tips for finding long lost friends

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 13:11:00 +0000

The popular site Fab Over Fifty just published an article to help people find long lost friends (or lovers for that matter!). Darlene E. Adams, co-author of Romantic Deception: The Six Signs He's Lying, and owner of E-infoseek.com, offers her tips for free sites that can help anybody track someone down. Norma Tillman, author of How to Find Almost Anyone, also weighs in. Check it out!

Romantic Deception Authors Interviewed on BlogTalkRadio

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 12:29:00 +0000

Deborrah Cooper, host of the popular show Date Smarter Not Harder, interviewed the authors Dr. Sally Caldwell and Darlene E. Adams about their book Romantic Deception: The Six Signs He's Lying. Listen in.

Listen to internet radio with Ms HeartBeat on Blog Talk Radio

Listen Live to Romantic Deception Authors on BlogTalkRadio

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 13:03:00 +0000

Tune in on Saturday, March 5, 2011 at 9:00 p.m. EST to listen as Dr. Sally Caldwell and Darlene E. Adams talk about their book Romantic Deception: The Six Signs He's Lying. The authors will be taking questions on BlogTalkRadio as they discuss important guidelines regarding what to look for to determine if the man you are involved with really is who he says he is.

To listen, just follow this link.

MyLife.com is a scam to be avoided

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 14:12:00 +0000

If you've been searching for information on someone via the Internet, you've no doubt run into many, many listings for MyLife.com that appear to have information about the person you are looking for. I've seen it over and over again in my searches and today I decided to check it out. I was ready to sign up, using fake information just as a test, and soon realized that my "free" account wouldn't go through without accepting their terms. I decided to read on.

The terms spell out that there will be credit card charges. That was a red flag so I quickly cancelled out and did a Google search for "MyLife scam." There were lots of hits. Apparently MyLife is the new version of Classmates.com, a site I know all too well.

Last year while planning a high school reunion, I signed up for Classmates.com's Gold Membership. That was a mistake. My next credit card statement included fraudulent charges for a credit monitoring service that I'd never heard of. Nor had I ever received any information or confirmation that I'd been enrolled.

I immediately contacted Classmates.com and was told that I had indeed selected the service. Knowing that I had not, I promptly contacted my credit card company and had the charge removed. Apparently MyLife.com is operating the same scam and should be avoided.

There are two services for finding information about people that I can recommend. I have used both Spokeo.com and Emailfinder.com without any issues. Both are useful tools. They do not always return the information I'd like or need, and the addresses are sometimes not current, but like I said, they are a tools in my arsenal that do help from time to time.

To learn more about the MyLife.com scam, click here.

National TV Show Seeks Victims for On-Camera Interviews

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 17:24:00 +0000

A national television show is seeking victims of online romantic deception for on-camera interviews. In particular, they are looking for women who were harmed by men they met through online dating services who they later found out had criminal records. If you are willing to share your story, please contact Kelly Rice at krice@kingworld.com.

GPS Tracking in Cameras and Smartphones Useful in Determining Romantic Deception

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 14:48:00 +0000

We all know that lying on the Internet is prevalent. Anyone who's tried on-line dating knows that people aren't always what they claim to be. I've heard lots of stories – and experienced a few examples myself – of individuals who are much older, much heavier, and much less educated than their profiles portray.

When that deception pours over into everyday living inside a romantic relationship, then it's a real issue. There is a fine line between embellishing on a profile to make oneself more attractive, and out right lying about every aspect of one's life. As Dr. Caldwell, author of Romantic Deception: The Six Signs He's Lying defines it, it is the "unrestrained misrepresentation of significant facts in the context of a intimate relationship." In other words, someone who truly is an impostor.

Everyday I look for new ways to help victims uncover the truth about the romantic liars in their lives. Did you know that you can now determine exactly where a photograph was taken? There is a new technology built into all GPS enabled cameras and Smartphones that will give you the exact location, within 15 feet, of where the photo was snapped.

This technology can be very useful in determining whether your romantic partner is telling the truth – or not. To learn more, click here.

Romantic Deception now available in all ebook formats

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 16:15:00 +0000

We are pleased to announce that Romantic Deception: The Six Signs He's Lying is now available for download for the iPad from Apple's iBookstore. It's also now available for Amazon's Kindle, Barnes & Noble Nook, and Sony e-Reader.

Pathological Liars - Relationship Scam Artists

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Thu, 25 Nov 2010 13:09:00 +0000

Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer

The relationship scam artist is usually a pathological liar, a con artist, maybe a psychopath. Discover how to detect the lies and get out before it's too late. [more]

Romantic Deception: The Six Signs He's Lying

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Tue, 23 Nov 2010 12:25:00 +0000

Romantic Deception: The Six Signs He's Lying (second edition) is now available on Amazon.com or through the authors' eStore.

The second edition offers an updated Survival Guide filled with tips for conducting your own background investigation on your romantic partner. The author, Sally Caldwell, Ph.D., teamed up with Darlene E. Adams, a skilled and trained Internet Investigator, and the owner of e-Infoseek, to bring new techniques to the Survival Guide.

Reviews for Dr. Caldwell's book have been extremely positive.

"Should be required reading!"

"I'm so glad I read this book..."

"Must read for every single woman"

"Finally some answers..."

"This book is overdue..."

Romantic Deception now on Facebook

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 13:18:00 +0000

Join us on Facebook to learn more about Romantic Deception: The Six Signs He's Lying.

Romantic Deception – The Six Signs He's Lying to be republished

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 13:01:00 +0000

In some very exciting news, Dr. Sally Caldwell and Darlene E. Adams are working together to republish Dr. Caldwell's tremendously successful book Romantic Deception – The Six Signs He's Lying. The book will be available for purchase in December 2010 through Amazon.com.

Divorce Files

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 12:00:00 +0000

Did you know that files created during a divorce proceeding are public information? That's right, all the dirty secrets couples hurl at one another when they go through a divorce can be viewed by anyone.

If you know the man you are dating has gone through a divorce and you'd like to do some checking, first find out where the divorce took place. Most divorces are handled at the county level so you'll need to know not only what state the divorce happened in, but the county as well. The files from the case are kept at the probate court and all you need to do is walk in with a name (the more information you have, the better, like the date and wife's name) and request the file. It's yours to view and copy if you'd like.

There may be some restrictions on viewing, for example, I was not allowed to open certain envelopes in the file that contained financial information, but there was plenty of dirt to be had even without those documents.

Remarkably, social security numbers are often present in the documents. It's not a bad idea to copy down your man's social security number. If you want to do a more thorough check on the guy, and you're willing to spend a little money, a private investigator can run several reports using the social security number. Their reports provide a history of addresses, assets owned by the individual including homes, cars and boats, names of relatives, and individuals living nearby. You may also receive a criminal history if it exists.

I viewed a divorce file after I'd broken up with the man, because I was curious. For three years I had heard his side of the story and he made his ex sound like a crazy woman. But after reviewing the file, I can tell you that they both were odd and each contributed to the demise of the relationship in equal fashion.

Most recently I have been researching an aunt who led a very secretive life with huge gaps missing when her family knew nothing of her whereabouts. One of the primary sources of information was her divorce file. I did not know exactly where to look for it, but through some leads, I finally found it in Ely, Nevada.

The file, dated 1948, was over 200 pages. It answered many questions her family had about her life in the 40s. The most interesting part of her divorce file was the exhibits. Her husband accused her of being an unfit mother because she had affairs. To prove that, he submitted dozens of love letters she received (through an accomplice who testified for the husband) from a man in another state. It was incredible to read these letters, written over 60 years ago, and to learn this new information. Without the divorce file, we never would have known what really happened.

Check out Spokeo.com

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 15:01:00 +0000

I previously wrote about Yoname.com which is a social networking aggregator, or a site that searches multiple social networking sites. Another good site to try is Spokeo.com. If you have an email address for someone you'd like to check out, enter it into Spokeo and Spokeo quickly and easily grabs content from across the web. It returns other social networking sites where the individual is registered.

A successful search depends on the tools you're using. I have found that no one tool is perfect and that the most successful searches involve multiple search tools.

Yesterday I joined Emailfinder.com which cost $1.95 per month for a membership (charged one year at a time). In most cases the email addresses returned were old, out-of-date and not useful. It did however, return information on a case I have been working on.

I had an email address that I had picked up along the search path but couldn't verify it belonged to the subject. I ran it through all my sources, but it just didn't connect to known activity for the individual. But when I ran it through Emailfinder.com it connected to a social networking site I didn't know about (and lots of photos of the subject). It also connected to her Twitter account, which I was aware of, but couldn't verify I had the right email address. Once it linked through Emailfinder.com to her Twitter account I knew that I had the right email address.

With every piece of verified information your search can expand. There are often nuggets of information on social networking sites (like friends and photos) that can lead to even more information about the subject.

It's also kind of interesting how I came up with the email address to begin with. I Googled the subject's name and explored all the links that came up. A couple of the links led me to other links and eventually to a website www.[her-name].com. But when I went to the website all that was there was a "parked" site with no information. I looked the domain name up through Whois.com and found that it was privately registered so I could not see who owned it.

Next I visited Archive.org and plugged the domain name into the Wayback Machine. The Wayback Machine archives websites periodically so you can "travel back" and see what they looked like previously. This site was archived in 2007 and when I clicked to view the archive it loaded a site full of images. The images were no longer available so the site looked like a grouping of empty boxes with no text at all. Seemed useless. But, I started clicking on different sections of the site and low and behold, one click brought up a link to the email address that appeared when it opened in my mail program.

Searching takes time. I usually spend a good 3-4 hours just getting started, but it's amazing what a good search can find. I'm not always successful, if the person doesn't have much web presence then I'm just not going to find anything, but usually there's something out there to be found. And even if it's not incriminating in anyway, information can be a powerful thing.

Get the True Scoop on Your Facebook Friends

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 18:30:00 +0000

Facebook has a new app called TrueScoop that digs up the dirt on anyone. It's a free service so it culls the information from public records across the U.S. I can't vouch for how accurate the information is, but give it a try. All you need to do is enter a name or birth date.

For each search result you’ll get the basics: location, date of birth, middle initial, and whether or not there is a criminal record. Results can also be filtered by state. TrueScoop will show an expanded detail list of the criminal record from there, along with any other details it’s pulled for your person of interest.

New Sites for Digging Up Dirt

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 17:21:00 +0000

There are some great free sites out there that I've been using lately to dig up information on individuals. I usually start with 123people.com. It returns some good information including links to social networking sites. I've even had email addresses returned. Once you have a subject's email address you can search common social networking sites like Facebook, MySpace, even YouTube.

Another great site for searching with email addresses is yoname.com. A fun site to try once you've found someone's Facebook or MySpace page is lococitato.com. Just put in the person's address and you'll see all the friends associated with that account.

Today I found out about a couple interesting new search engines. Take a look at Whostalkin.com and search blogs and websites for your subject. Searchme.com returns a visual of websites. Want to search blogs? Try Twingly.com.

Romantic Deception in Boston this Week

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 21:12:00 +0000

A case of romantic deception made headlines this week when Clark Rockefeller, of Cornish, NH and Boston kidnapped his seven year old daughter Reigh. The man, who claimed to be a descendant of the Rockefeller family, appears to be anything but. The 48-year-old was a spinner of tales who wore Brooks Brothers suits and ascots and spoke with a classic WASP accent. Yet he has no driver’s license, no passport, no social security number and no apparent history before 1990. Oh yeah, he was married to Reigh’s mother on Nantucket in 1995 but there is no recorded marriage license.

Luckily, both Rockefeller and his daughter were found Saturday safe and sound. Rockefeller had whisked his daughter to Maryland where it appeared he was about to start a new life with a new name and a new home. Today he is being extradited back to Boston where he faces charges of felony custodial kidnapping, assault and battery and assault and battery with a dangerous weapon.

Reigh’s mother divorced Rockefeller in December. According to a friend close to the couple, she had discovered that Rockefeller was a fraud. Rockefeller has several aliases and has told people he attended Harvard and Yale. He suggested to friends that he was working for the Pentagon, either as a mathematician or physicist. He claimed his parents were killed in an auto accident. During the divorce Rockefeller was given the option to reveal his true identity or to give up custody of the daughter he, by all accounts, raised as a full time dad. He chose to let his daughter go rather than unveil his identity.

But the true lesson here is that even the best and brightest can be duped by romantic impostors. Rockefeller’s wife, Sandra Boss, is a London-based financier earning well over a million a year. She is a graduate of Stanford and Harvard Business School. It’s not clear when the marriage began to crack or when she discovered that Clark wasn’t who he claimed to be. The divorce decree is sealed and she has leaked little to the media.

This case clearly epitomizes what Dr. Caldwell states in her book, Romantic Deception, “Ask me who’s vulnerable to Romantic Deception, and high on my list will be the woman who was raised right. Show me a woman who believes in honesty and I’ll show you a woman who finds it hard to even imagine that she could get mixed up with a big-time liar.”

The true identity of Clark Rockefeller will surely be exposed soon. Boston has assigned detectives to the case and the FBI is involved as well. The arm-chair detectives among us are also dying to know. And the one person who undoubtedly cares the most has to be Sandra Boss. Had she had the wherewithal to check Clark out before they got involved, she might have saved herself a lot of heartache and a ton of money.

How Much Do You Really Know?

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Sat, 24 May 2008 16:55:00 +0000

Proceed With Caution When Hiring a Private Investigator

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Tue, 20 May 2008 15:16:00 +0000

Much of what I needed to know about my ex I was able to dig up on my own through online databases, but there was one nagging piece that I needed an answer to. Bob* told me he had never been married. The evidence supported that. I met many of his friends and his entire family. No one indicated that he'd been married before. But when he moved his numerous possessions out of my house the day the relationship ended, he left behind several items that raised suspicion.

These items were household goods, new, and still in the original boxes. He told me that he'd received one or more of the items as awards from golf tournaments. But these were household goods, not typical golf incentives: a cappuccino machine, hand mixer, juicer, dishes, glassware, about ten items in total. They looked a lot like wedding or shower gifts. I wondered if he had lied about his marital history as well as his financial situation.

So I asked a local PI to conduct a background check just to be sure. Weeks passed and my curiosity grew. One day I received an email from the PI asking me to call him regarding the investigation. Our conversation was shrouded in mystery. He told me he could not tell me everything he had found out, or how he had found the information, but he declared – in no uncertain terms – that Bob was currently married! I can't tell you what a shock that was to hear. We had ended the relationship just two months prior so I knew that the marriage was not a recent one. My mind raced with how he could possibly have hid a current marriage. I asked the PI for details but he refused to tell me more.

My mind reeled and my heart sank at the thought of this level of deception. I thought perhaps there had been a previous, brief marriage, but never did I imagine a current marriage. It took me about 24 hours to gain my composure and to put into action my own search for the truth. I emailed an associate of the PI who was involved in the initial search. I was able to pry a "possible" first name and age of the "wife" from the associate who relayed what he could remember. My next stop was the Registry of Vital Records where I met a sweet and helpful employee who performed a search of the marriage records for me. No marriage record turned up for Bob.

I spent innumerable hours online searching the name I was given. Nothing turned up that linked Bob to a potential wife. It took some time, and much angst, but I finally began to realize that the person the PI so adamantly claimed was his wife, was in fact his sister. This fact was later confirmed through another PI who, upon hearing my story, offered to conduct a database search for me.

The moral of this post is: Take every nugget you receive with a grain of salt. Not all information you, or a private investigator, pulls from a database is reliable. The PI who performed the initial search could have saved me much pain simply by qualifying his investigative results. Apparently he found a woman's name linked to the address Bob currently resided at (his parents' home). The woman's age was around Bob's age. The PI made a huge leap by assuming that it was a wife and not another relative.

Databases are subject to human error upon inputting data. Reports available on the Web from sources like peoplefinders.com and intellius.com, among others, offer very basic information and cost money to view. Much of the information they provide is available for free if you know where to look for it. The information on these reports is also not always current and in many cases inaccurate or unavailable. It cannot be relied upon. Beware that what they offer may not be available in your state. For example, usa-people-search.com offers a "Comprehensive Background Check" for $39.95 that includes marriage and divorce records. What you don't see is that in Massachusetts, marriage records are not available online, so you will not receive any marital information on someone you check in the state of Massachusetts.

I also have been told that intellius.com offers to provide a telephone number for $2.95. What they don't tell you is that the number may not be for the individual you are seeking. It could be any individual by the same name in that state. They also have a no refund policy. Buyer beware.

Bottom line: Hire a reputable private investigator. Investigate the investigator. Make sure he or she has credentials and is licensed if licensing is required in your state. Check references as well. Ask to see certified copies of marriage licenses before believing that the individual you are checking is truly married. Take information obtained from databases with a bit of skepticism.

* Name has been changed.

Digging up Nuggets

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Fri, 16 May 2008 23:29:00 +0000

As an innate detective and now a student of professional investigation, it is amazing the amount of information I was able to dig up on my ex simply by using the World Wide Web. Today I will share with you some of the sites I found that provided nuggets of information about my ex and uncovered some of the lies he told.

The first lie from Bob came even before we met in person. We met through an online dating site and emailed each other for a couple weeks before finally meeting. One of the first emails he sent said that he now lived in an apartment, but that he had previously owned a home which he sold to move closer to his job. He said that he had chosen to live in an apartment because he didn't want to deal with the maintenance required in owning a home. A public record search of deeds showed that he did own a home but he didn't sell it, it went to foreclosure. The reason he was living in an apartment was not so he could avoid home maintenance, it was because he had filed for bankruptcy and wouldn't be able to get a loan on a home. Check out www.masslandrecords.com for online searching.

A few days later he "remembered" he did own a home! He had forgotten when he wrote the last email! The reason he didn't remember was because he had just bought the house and it was income property. Wrong again. He did buy the house but a search of the deeds showed that he bought it from a close friend. Later, he admitted that even though the house was in his name, he didn't collect the rent on the property, pay the mortgage or the taxes, or do any of the maintenance. The friend took care of everything. A search on the friend at www.pipl.com turned up a government article stating that the friend, an attorney, had misappropriated funds for one of his clients, a child, and had lost his license to practice for three years. My guess is the friend was hiding assets but that I'll never know.

Another interesting piece to the puzzle turned up at www.archive.org. Bob said he had 50% ownership in a company he worked for. I was suspicious because the partner really put himself out there as the true owner. This website allows you to look at historical data on a website. That means that I can access their company website from previous years even though that site is no longer available on the web. I was able to see that as of December 2006, both men were listed on their website as "principals" with both photos side by side. But in January 2007 the site changed. The partner became President and CEO and Bob became Vice President of Sales. I put on my detective hat and surmise that they once were 50-50 partners but that must have changed in January 2007.

And one last site for now. You can also check out corporate ownership (and officers) through your state government site. Corporate filings are available, in the state of Massachusetts, at www.sec.state.ma.us. Just one more nugget to support my theory.

Is he a great date, possible mate or total fake?

noreply@blogger.com (Darlene E. Adams) — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 18:02:00 +0000

Romantic deception has become a hot topic. It is covered mostly by talk shows and news magazines like Dateline, 20/20 and 48 Hours. Just last week Dr. Phil had a guest – not his first – who had been taken by someone she met while on vacation. She fell in love with a man who claimed to be an ex-NFL player. She asserts he took her for $100,000.

Impostors can show up anywhere...online, at the supermarket, even at church. We are, by nature a trusting society when it comes to what people tell us. I don't know about you, but I don't generally jump to the conclusion that someone is being dishonest about who he or she is.

Victims come in many forms and are not necessarily lonely women longing for companionship. Secure, strong, independent individuals can become victims too. We are, according to Dr. Sally Caldwell, author of the book Romantic Deception, biased toward the truth, "Much like the horror that the neighbors usually express when they learn that the man next door has just been nabbed for being a serial murderer, it's very difficult for well-socialized truth tellers to even contemplate that they could be mixed up with a big-time liar." Dr. Caldwell goes on to state, "Ask me who's vulnerable to Romantic Deception, and high on my list will be the woman who was raised right."

Impostors always break hearts. Romance, built on lies, is not a foundation for a long-term commitment. Most impostors claim to have a higher level of education, better job histories, and greater assets than in reality. Some carry heavy financial burdens. Some are married. Some have criminal histories. All make it difficult to ever trust again.

There are ways to discover if your potential mate is all that he or she claims to be. Consider for a moment the amount of time you put into investigating a home purchase. Or the due diligence typical before buying a business, a new car, or any other large purchase. Why wouldn't you, as a matter of course, investigate someone who will have access to your finances? Someone who has the power to take you for everything you own and ruin your credit? And what if he has a violent or criminal past you know nothing about?

This site is a resource for anyone who wants to learn more about a partner before commiting to living together, becoming engaged, and getting married. Our goal is to provide the resources necessary to conduct your own background check on a potential partner or to hire a private investigator to conduct the background check for you.

If you have a story to tell, we hope you will share it with us and others who visit this site. Too often we believe it cannot happen to us. When it does, we are caught off guard and find ourselves second guessing our instincts. You can help others by sharing your personal experience with romantic deception.