During our recent play with the new rabbit vibrator, Master tied me up to the bed, in all sensory deprivation glory and spit on me. It was a shock and humiliating and interesting. I was grossed beyond grossed and partially turned on. Rather intriguing that I would feel that way. Any other time that I see someone spit it just sends the heeby jeebies down my back. I even hate it in porn when some women spit on a cock before they do a blow job. It’s just…. gross.

When Master spit on me I felt something a little differnet. He was already degrading me and humiliating me (which I do love to experience) so why not step it up to spitting? It’s intense, really and I think I’d have to be totally in my head space to accept it without replusion. He drives me deeper with this form of intense play and the degredation dance is one that scares the crap out of me. And yet it’s so very hot.

I know that I wouldn’t be able to tolerate how I’m treated during this time if I didn’t trust Master completely. I know that when the session is over he will become the man I love again, the man that does everything to care for me and would drop everything he is doing to hold me and reassure me that his love is as deep as a well without end. For this I can experience the intense sessions we’ve gotten into.

So, how do I feel about spitting? It’s…. one of the tolerable things but I don’t think I’ll ever crave it or desire it, but I know that if Master wants to spit on me again I will accept it.

–luna

The package arrived in a standard USPS box and Master opened it up and immediately started playing with it. He messaged me at work to tell me it had arrived and it had a lot of buttons. Oh the fun we would have with the buttons!

The one I got was the Hop’n Rabbit Stroker Vibrator. This one is different than others in that they don’t have the swirling pearls. This one has a shaft that moves up and down. It’s really awesome and I was especially excited to get that going.

The Vibrator is made by Doc Johnson and is almost 11″ long. It has the tell-tale rabbit vibe for the clitoris, but also the pumping action of the shaft. It has several different modes and also an auto option for the bunny ears.

Playtime #1

When I got home from work we wanted to get to work on trying it all out. I laid back on the bed and let Master go to town. I approached this as pleasurable work, really and concentrated on each and every sensation. Master would ask me if I liked this or that and I would respond. Not exactly sexy, right? Wrong! I got so hot and bothered that within 15 minutes I was asking for faster and harder when it was at maximum. I ended up pressing my mound against the bunny and riding it till I was allowed to come. I’d say that after the screaming and thrashing about it was an 8 out of 10. The orgasm that is.

Playtime #2

Later that night Master and I were in a playful mood and I asked him almost forcefully for some rope. It started with the blindfold and ear plugs. then that horrid gag was in place and I was plunged into silence and darkness.

Master bound my breasts tight and then had me kneel on the bed and put my face down into the bed with my ass in the air. The rabbit went into my pussy turned around with the ears teasing my ass hole. OMG was that a lovely feeling. The pumping action of the shaft was more noticeable in this position too. He made bound my thighs to my ankles so that I was stuck in a kneeling position and then did the flogging cuffs to relief stress on my wrists and tied them to my thighs. I was immobile and at his mercy. This was when I realized that he wasn’t holding the rabbit in place. It stayed there on it’s own, just pumping and vibing me into pleasure.

Master gave my ass a few sharp slaps and I had to intake my breath. I was trying to be verbal behind the gag as that’s just how I am. It drove me crazy. I was trembling and so hyper sensitive when Master took the vibe from my pussy and replaced it with his dick. I couldn’t get enough of him. He was aggressive and violent. Scratching my back, slapping my thighs, wrapping my hair around his hands and pulling and then painfully pressing all of his weight into  my back which sent my bound tits into a tailspin. The pain was so sharp and overloading. I was so very turned on.

Then he spit on my face…. but that’s for another post.

The orgasm I had the second time was deep and penetrating and full of rope love and deep within myself I was so used and blissed.

Master’s Rating

Master had fun playing with it overall and had some very good things to say about it. He liked that it stayed in place without rope, although I can’t say for sure if that was just luck or not. He felt that the auto button was good but that you had to turn the sensation all the way off in order for the auto to stop. He would have liked to be able to select the auto button again and have it stop. It’s definitely a new toy for our toy bag.

Master rates it 7.5 out of 10.

Overall, I’d give this toy a 8 for pleasure satisfaction and fun.

–luna

Many times when Master says he’s horny, I admit I am not in the mood. As of right now, he let’s it go and even on occasion goes off to masturbate. Sometimes it doesn’t bother me. Then there are the times like right now when I wish he would just not give me a choice, that he would remove my right to say no and just drag me in there anyway.

I get really hot thinking about how I don’t want to do it but am being made to do it anyway. How he just takes what he wants, makes me perform for him and has no care for my anti-desires. There is a fear in there, a hesitation and a thrill. The force of a Dominant against the submissive to mold them into what they want.

I imagine that I’m watching TV and Master tempts me in some way for sex, either with a touch or a look or outright asks me and I say no for some reason or another. That’s not good enough of course. He wants me and he gets me. I’m his property and I should do as he requests. So I’m made to get up from the chair and am forcefully escorted into the bedroom where he is rough and hard with me, telling me that I’m nothing but his property and should obey him. I’m forced to suck his cock with his hand behind my head, chocking me sometimes. He may slap me or pinch me. I may cry.

In the end the spanking, or violation of his hands on and in my body is a turn on. Something about the force of it brings me into the moment of being his. I can feel myself surrender to him; to make what I want only what he wants. I perform for him as I should have in the beginning. I have been made his. I have been reminded who I am and what I am.

I am his slut. I am to be ready all the time, or be forced. There is no ‘uninterested’ anymore. I just am.

–luna

Every week there will be a BDSM question posed to readers here at BDSM is Love. Feel free to answer it as candidly as you’d like. If you’d like to participate in the discussion please leave a comment on this post, send me an email or post the response on your own blog!

Complete the following sentences…

1. In my sexiest private fantasy, I…
2. When I masturbate, I often think about…
3. My most erotic memory is…

One of these seems to come up frequently in my mind. Those positions you can read in almost any BDSM fantasy. The ones that exude submission and service. The positions held for long periods of time only if you are some skinny Barbie doll used to kneeling and sitting still.

I’ve read all about slave positions. I know that not every relationship does them, nor do they do the same ones. There are pages and pages of links about submissive positions and how they are to be done.

Part of me, a strong part, craves to have some set positions. I know that the positions that Master would select for me would be ones I can do physically and would enhance the beauty of my body and my role.  Master has already expressed that he likes when I get up from the floor to turn my back to him and get up so that my ass is up in his direction for a time while I rise. I have to get into the habit of that.

Some of the ideas I have for positions follow what I’ve read/seen but others don’t.

For example:

At Rest: I see this as a seated position, on the floor with my legs folded Indian-style. I’d have my hands rested on my thighs and my head would be level.  I’m thinking this would be a good position in a chair or short stool also as long as I can not fidget and keep my eyes from wandering around at what’s going on.

Attention: Standing or seated or kneeling for short period where I’d have my hands behind my back either behind my neck or clasped lower back. My head would be level and eyes down.

Present: Standing with my feet wider than hip distance apart, my hands clasped above my head with my chest out, eyes level or down.

Thigh: When on the floor or kneeling and given permission to caress Master I’d love to have a position where I rest my cheek on his thigh in love and adoration, and a sign of my submission to him.

Beg: Used for asking permission or begging — Kneel and then lower chest to floor, weight on elbows, hands turned up. Face/head should not touch floor. Once acknowledged, rise to attention and beg or ask permission.

These are just a few of the ones I tend to imagine doing or learning in some capacity.

–luna

Bedroom Submissive

Her girl’s musings

A Good Girl’s Log of Accountability

Mystress Lady Evyl

Life In A Cage

The Enigmatic Angel

Dark, Deep & Deviant

Brimstone Bedlam

Sinful Erotica

I weighed in this week 5.5 lbs lighter! Yay, I’m well on my way to 20 lbs lost by Christmas. I’m so happy.

I didn’t do a minute of extra exercise because of my back pain, but I did really good with the food intake and is shows. I know I can do this. Just 5 more lbs and people will start noticing the change and my pants aught to fight a lot better.

Master has said he is proud of me and I am so proud of myself. I’ve never been so boosted as I have been this week with my efforts. Just more of the same to come.

Maybe even more than 20 lbs by Christmas, I can dream can’t I?

–luna

Ann is right that a lot of what I do for service are things that I know that Master enjoys and while I don’t have to enjoy them I do them so that he is pleased and pleasured. I’ve had to really focus at times to serve him in ways that I either don’t want to do or just don’t have the desire to do. He knows when I’m just serving to serve and there are no emotions behind it. My service suffers for that.

There are things that I enjoy doing. I enjoy ordering Master’s food at restaurants and making sure it comes out correct. I am mortified if I have ordered it wrong or it comes out wrong and he says it’s okay and he doesn’t want me to correct it.

I like being the one to take care of Master’s house. I’m not a great housekeeper but I’m working on it and I get a thrill knowing that the house he is in all day long working and playing is clean and tidy. As I said, I’m working on making it better though.

I really enjoy Sunday night foot rubs. I get into giving Master the best massage of the week and he enjoys it immensely and looks forward to Sunday nights all week long. It’s a very intimate time and we connect really well during that.

Occasionally I will enjoy fetching his drink for him (usually coffee). I like cooking for him when it’s something special or home-made that he loves.

I’ve been looking into more ways to serve him and have some in mind for further development. He likes that I am looking for more to please him and he feels that it’s a good time to increase what we do.

–luna

Meditation Monday is for me to be able to see my relationship through your eyes. I do hope to get questions or thoughts so that I can continue to journey. Please feel free to comment here with questions, or if you want to be more private, use my contact page up at the top and email me. I’d love to know your thoughts and hear your questions.

We don’t fight. It may seem to some that it’s a lie, but what I tell on this blog is the truth and I would certainly be talking about fights too if we had them. We do disagree from time to time but it’s always elevated civility and never gets to yelling or worse. I never thought a relationship would be a rock solid as ours is.

Yesterday I was going through a really hard time and was more depressed and needy than I had been in a long while. Without a thought, Master took the day off work and spent it with me. Sitting with me, laying with me when I needed to lay down or rest, and just being there. We hugged a lot and kissed a lot and fucked frequently. Whatever I looked like I needed he gave, just to help me though my day. I would have never gotten that in past relationships.

I’m a lot better today, I’m feeling more normal and I think I have Master’s constant attention yesterday to thank for it.

If any of you recall there was a time in 2005 where our financial hardship was intense.  I made a bad choice and wrote a rubber check for a vetrinary bill. My cat was dying and needed to stay overnight for medication and healing. Well this check has come back to bite me. I have a court date for the 16th and am in need of a lawyer. I’ve never had to look for a lawyer before. What kind of questions do you ask? How much is too much for a retainer? The phone book has pages and pages of attorneys, where do I start– with A?

–luna

Have you ever faked an orgasm? Did your partner know or find out? How do you feel about faking it in a D/s relationship?

Have you ever given false responses during play; for example moaning a little louder than the strike really felt like, or squirming extra because you think the Top might enjoy it? How do you feel about being overly expressive during play?