Let’s talk about saying no.

Parents and teachers, are you struggling with defiance? Is it a challenge to get your children to do the things you tell them to? Are they constantly trying to negotiate things like what to eat for dinner, which clothes to wear, or when bedtime is? Always trying to play a bit longer before cleaning up?

If this is you, I’m here to say congratulations.
You’re raising an independent critical thinker.

I know, I know, it can be so frustrating. There are some things that can be negotiated and some things that just can’t, right?

We’ve got to get out of the house by 9:00 if we’re going to get there by 9:30!

No, you can’t just eat chips for dinner!

As important as these things might be, it’s absolutely necessary to step back and take a look at the things that are more (yes, more) important. When a child is allowed the opportunity to discuss, debate, and say no to things, they’re building the skills necessary for developing character traits that we tend to find much more valuable than the convenience of avoiding the debate.

Some of these traits off the top of my head:

…and the list can continue infinitely. If you think of more, please post them in the comments!

“But why does that matter?”

The point here is that we want to afford our children the opportunities to develop these important life skills. If our children are constantly being taught to do what they’re told, then where will they ever get the skills to think independently and respond appropriately when a reckless peer suggests they try drugs? Or to speak out against inequality? Or to be strong and grounded if faced with a predator or an abuser?

Look, as convenient as it may sometimes seem for us as adults, we don’t want our children learning blind obedience. I’d rather our children have the tools necessary for questioning authority, for being activists and changing the rules that need changing, and for saying no to peer pressure, predators, and injustice.

So, have that conversation. Have that debate. Give them your explanations, and listen equally to theirs. Give your children the opportunities to question, debate, think, understand, act autonomously, speak up, and be heard.

Let them say, “No.”

Let’s talk about the preschool environment.

Here’s something that we all accept as fact: a high quality environment is important for Early Learning. Virtually every esteemed Early Childhood Education philosophy that’s available for study or inspiration, no matter how different they each are in practice, has this idea in common. They each name their ideas something different, for instance, The Montessori Method teaches of The Prepared Environment, High/Scope considers the Learning Environment in their teaching approach, and the schools of Reggio Emilia, Italy have named the environment The Third Teacher. So, we can all agree: environment matters.

“But why does that matter?”

Since we’re considering some of these highly regarded educational philosophies, I’ll use a quote from Maria Montessori:

We can reflect on this idea and quickly conclude that an Early Learning environment should be intentional, welcoming, and thoughtful. I think it’s also important to add that the environment must be flexible and responsive to the needs and desires of the children in order to allow space for natural exploration and learning to occur. Children need a comfortable sense of belonging and space to play authentically. As a champion advocate for play once put it,

So what, then, does a high quality environment look like?

When we think of a typical preschool environment, we often picture classrooms full of brightly colored posters, a bold alphabet hanging proudly on the wall, and a big, bright rug on the floor covered with numbers, shapes, or exciting animals. A growing body of research tells us clearly, though, that this is way off base. These types of environments are proven to be uncomfortably overstimulating, and even damaging to young minds. The clutter hinders much of the learning that should be taking place in a well-curated environment.

So what do we do instead? Well, we surely don’t want our children feeling anxious and unable to learn. We don’t want our children feeling institutionalized in a OSFA classroom that isn’t responsive to their needs. We want them to feel welcomed. We want them to have a sense of ownership over their space. We want our children to feel comfortable. Where can children find these feelings? The answer is simple: at home.

Parents, when you’re searching for a preschool for your child, find one that feels like home. Homes and schools can (and should!) have lots in common:

• soft elements and a decorative style that feels natural and personal

• real furniture for using that doesn’t feel stale or cold

• a sense of freedom and comfort; an allowance to explore

• “real-life” tools and materials, rather than toy versions

• adults that are welcoming and loving

• unlimited access to the outdoors

• flexibility for children to go and do as they please

• cultural representation in materials, decor, routines, and literature

The list can continue forever, but the point remains: Early Learning environments shouldn’t be caricatures of what we’ve arbitrarily designed to be “school-like.” We need to find and make space for our children that is authentic, flexible, and welcoming. Space that is home-like. No more sterile plastics and bright colors. Let’s give our children the real world experiences that research (and ethics!) tells us to.

Let’s talk about kindergarten readiness.

First off, what the heck is it? We hear the buzz phrase all the time. We think we understand the importance of “kindergarten readiness,” but what does it mean? Can you define it?

Since it seems to be so important to American educational culture, I’ve scoured online resources trying to find some sort of definition for this phrase that’s referenced so much. The best I could find is a list of “Essential Domains of School Readiness” as defined by the U.S. Department of Education. These domains, according to this governing body, are as follows:

• language and literacy

• cognition and general knowledge (including early mathematics and early scientific development)

• approaches toward learning

• physical well-being and motor development

• social and emotional development

No matter how hard I searched, though, I couldn’t seem to find any literature defining or supporting which stages of development within each of these domains constitutes the level of competency that demonstrates “readiness” for school entry. So, we’re being told that children have to have motor development of some sort, but aren’t being told what kind. Just motor development. (Okay? Doesn’t everyone have motor development? What are we supposed to get from that?)

In California, educators use an assessment matrix developed by the CA Department of Education called the DRDP (Desired Results Developmental Profile). It’s super complicated and daunting and is intended to observe every area of development humanly possible without the use of standardized tests. Its developers claim that the DRDP “fully addresses the five domains of school readiness.” This is all great, but like we asked before, at what point in the development of a child within each of these domains is “school readiness” reached?

So, what we have here are our governing educational systems declaring the importance of “kindergarten readiness,” but not telling us what it is. Coining the phrase, but not defining it. Parents and teachers are stuck in a tizzy over this logical fallacy of circular reasoning, as we’re simply being told, “School readiness is important because children need to be ready for school entry.”

Since this undefined idea of “readiness” is made to be so important, we’re now left with unqualified people trying to fill in the blanks and define it for us:

First, let’s take a look at our current K-12 educational standards in the U.S. Rather than conducting and reviewing research on brain development and academic “readiness” in the early years, the Common Core Standards were written by first developing 12th grade learning goals, and then fitting the prerequisites into the younger grades from there. Doesn’t this sound backwards? Shouldn’t we begin with children’s natural competencies and curiosities and build on them toward more sustainable success? Sadly, it was done that way because not one of the 135 individuals who developed the Common Core Standards was an Early Childhood professional. Not even a single kindergarten, first, second, or third grade teacher was included in the writing or reviewing of Common Core. U.S. Kindergarten has been designed by a collection of committees of people who know nothing about young children, and that’s part of the reason we’re seeing a painful academic pushdown.

Next, let’s take a look at who’s defining what it takes to be ready for this kindergarten. We see authorities coining the readiness phrase but not defining it, and so inevitably, people are going to try to define it. We’ve got states and districts making arbitrary lists of what children need to have learned before they’re considered ready to learn. If you’re a parent Googling kindergarten readiness in preparation for school entry, you’ll find lots of official-looking checklists like this one made by the National Center for Learning Disabilities that encourages rote literacy processes like, “recognizes ten alphabet letter names by pointing to requested letter,” and “matches three letters with the sounds they make,” and trivial math concepts such as, “matches a numeral (0-5) to a group with that number of objects,” and “counts in sequence 1-10.”

There is no research supporting the teaching of these concepts to our young children. What the research is saying is that pushing academics on children who are this young is actually harmful to long-term development. We see study after study suggesting that a more natural, child-led form of exploration and learning sets children up for later success, and that children who miss out on this in favor of early academics consistently stop showing any signs of academic advantage around third or fourth grade, and often begin to fall behind. With this in mind, these “kindergarten readiness” checklists and strict academics in the early grades are actually encouraging parents to facilitate a devastating developmental disservice to their children.

When you think about it, the concept of kindergarten readiness is antithetical to a child-centered and developmentally appropriate educational model.

Not every person is the same and education should be individualized. The idea of readiness goes against this perspective entirely. Deborah Stipek from the Stanford Graduate School of Education explains this with a compelling example:

If an English-language learner enters an English-only kindergarten and fails to meet all of the kindergarten standards, but makes considerable progress in all skills, has she failed? If a child enters kindergarten having already met most of the kindergarten standards, but then doesn’t surpass them at the end of the year, has she succeeded? One could say the former was not “ready” for kindergarten and the latter was. But it was the former who benefited the most from the kindergarten experience.

If we’re supporting the idea of kindergarten readiness, we’re clearly readying our children for school rather than readying schools for our children. Tell me, what exactly is the role of the teacher if it’s not to teach each child and meet their individual needs? If every classroom and every education is to look identical and children are to be readied for it, what special skills does a teacher need to have? We should be holding our teachers accountable and busting the doors down on this idea of kindergarten readiness.

“But why does that matter?

We can’t change these standards. We can’t change the expectations of educators by their administrators.”

But we can change our expectations of our children. Know that pushing academic concepts on children in Early Childhood does more harm than good. If your child or student doesn’t meet “kindergarten readiness standards,” that’s just fine. Leave room for them to develop naturally. Let them play. Let them build a stronger foundation before piling academics on top of it, or it won’t hold. Who cares if a child isn’t meeting “standards” at their kindergarten entry if you know that they’ll find much stronger success later because of it? They don’t need to be reciting letters or numbers - it’s taking up valuable space and time that should be saved for more foundational development.

Forget kindergarten readiness and focus on what matters.

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References

Black, S. (n.d.). The Marcon Study « Ooey Gooey, Inc.. [online] Ooeygooey.com. Available at: https://www.ooeygooey.com/the-marcon-study/ [Accessed 12 Nov. 2019].

Desiredresults.us. (2019). DRDP Forms | Desired Results for Children and Families. [online] Available at: https://www.desiredresults.us/drdp-forms [Accessed 12 Nov. 2019].

Ed.gov. (2019). Definitions | U.S. Department of Education. [online] Available at: https://www.ed.gov/early-learning/elc-draft-summary/definitions [Accessed 12 Nov. 2019].

Gray, P. (2015). Early Academic Training Produces Long-Term Harm. [online] Psychology Today. Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/201505/early-academic-training-produces-long-term-harm [Accessed 12 Nov. 2019].

Stipek, D. (2019). Should Children Be Ready for Kindergarten—Or Should Kindergarten Be Ready for Children?. [online] Education Week. Available at: https://www.edweek.org/ew/articles/2019/03/26/should-children-be-ready-for-kindergarten--or-should.html?utm_source=fb&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=mrss [Accessed 12 Nov. 2019].

Strauss, V. (2015). Report: Requiring kindergartners to read — as Common Core does — may harm some. [online] The Washington Post. Available at: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/answer-sheet/wp/2015/01/13/report-requiring-kindergartners-to-read-as-common-core-does-may-harm-some/ [Accessed 12 Nov. 2019].

Let’s talk about making decisions.

Have you ever thought about what kinds of decisions children feel empowered to make?

The other day, I was touring a family at my preschool. They were incredible - we totally clicked and enjoyed each other’s company and discussion. The child seemed to love the environment and was overjoyed to be able to explore every part of it! At one point, he was rolling around a big dump truck on the deck outside. He loved that thing and kept pushing and pushing to his heart’s content…until…his heart’s content took him (dun dun dunnnnnn!) inside the classroom!

His parents started to feel visibly uncomfortable. They knew their son must be breaking an important rule and seemed to wonder if they should say something or just leave it to me. When I didn’t speak up, the child’s mom said, “Honey, I think that’s an outside toy, why don’t you bring it back out here?” The child was having so much fun he hardly heard her, and my incredible colleague reassured her, “Don’t worry, we’ve got a broom.”

You see, our preschool is designed specifically to allow children to take ownership of their environment and to make choices that are important to themselves and their development.

I’ll return to my question: Have you ever considered what kinds of decisions children feel empowered to make? If you’ve given this some thought, you probably realize that there really aren’t very many. I think that we as adults take our basic decision-making power for granted. We can design our own schedules, decide what to wear every day, choose what to eat and when to eat it, decide when to get up and work hard or when to sit back and take a break. The same can’t always be said for children. For a child who doesn’t get to choose virtually anything, when it’s time to go to the doctor and they just. don’t. want. to. go….what happens? A tantrum, of course. We think it’s such a silly thing to get upset over, but honestly, if you weren’t able to exercise any ability to make decisions…wouldn’t you reach a breaking point every now and then, too?

Empowering children to make choices is so important. It can:

• Encourage creativity, allowing children to be designers of their own environment.

• Help children to feel valued, giving them a strong foundation for building a healthy self concept.

• Foster the development of responsibility, giving them skills for decision-making and prioritizing.

• Allow children to develop problem-solving skills as they solve their own problems, and then reflect on them to solve the next ones.

• Bring a sense of comfort and confidence, aiding in the development of self concept and self esteem, with the great added bonus to caregivers of less tantrums and power struggles!

“But why does that matter?”

That sounds great and all, but how can I realistically apply this to my own parenting or teaching style?
Well, for starters, I encourage all caregivers to reflect on where they can actually start to give more choices to their children. Allow them to have a bit more ownership of their environment whenever you can.

But as I reflect back on my recent dump truck interaction with the lovely family, I think about how important a preschool environment is for children to exercise their decision-making abilities. A 1975 study funded by the National Institute of Education actually shows us pretty explicitly that decision-making and self-scheduling has an important positive impact on school success in Early Childhood.

Parents, if you’re looking around for a school to send your child to, look closely for ways children are able to make their own decisions and schedule their day. At my preschool, The Olive Branch, the children are able to choose their learning environment all day — our outdoor classroom and indoor classroom are available simultaneously, generally regardless of weather. They’re able to choose what materials to use, and if they need something for their learning that isn’t readily available, the teachers are there to help them get it or help them find a substitute. They’re able to choose when, how much, and if they eat the provided snack — it’s available for them to serve themselves for a window of time each morning and each afternoon. These choices allow children to self-regulate and exercise their autonomy. School is a place for children and shouldn’t be governed by adult rules and expectations. If school is for helping children grow and develop, then children should have primary ownership over their space and time while they’re there.

Teachers, I encourage you to constantly be in a state of reflection about your classroom or program. While reflecting, ask yourself if your children have as much decision-making power as they truly deserve. See if you can find ways to give them more room to choose.

Do the children in your care have ample opportunities to make meaningful choices? What are some ways we can all redesign our environments to empower children with a sense of ownership and autonomy? Let us know your ideas in the comments!

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Let’s talk about play.

We tend to think that play is a relaxing break from learning. The truth is, though, that for children (and arguably humans of all ages), play is learning in action. We often see play as something that happens at recess, outside of class time. Teachers are usually absent at recess, or take shifts supervising, where they observe for safety hazards, rather than for opportunities to provide extensions for further learning.

“But why does that matter?”

Well, let’s start with the fact that play is a natural, evolutionary trait. Humans have played since the dawn of mankind. And guess what. Play isn’t reserved for just humans, either. You play with your dog, don’t you? Most animals play. Birds slide down snowy slopes together for fun. Horses chase one another. Kangaroos play fight. Play is what teaches animals about communication, nuance, survival. How can we even dream of depriving our children of something that we recognize as evolutionarily necessary for survival? In fact, the rise in mental illnesses in the United States has often been directly attributed to the decline of play. How sad is that?!

And let’s clarify something here: children’s play is never adult-led.

Play is the way by which children make sense of the world. They reenact to understand, to give context for, or to soothe the stress of new experiences. They take on feelings and emotions in order to practice a deeper understanding of what they all mean. Play allows for conflict resolution strategies to develop, and for empathy to form. Play is how we develop the foundational, neurological skills that allow us to learn those strict academic concepts we find later in life with rote mathematics and literacy concepts. The list goes on. Play is everything, and play is natural.

If we as adults tell children how to play, we are denying them the opportunities to develop their own concrete understandings of the world. It’s not our job to teach them the rules by which to play. We don’t need to develop games for them, or to tell them when it’s appropriate to play in certain areas or with certain materials. Children do this naturally. Authentic play is child-led and child-centered. If we’re changing the way by which children play, they’re not truly playing.

And with all of the amazing things we know about play, think about all of the development they’re missing out on.

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