Babs the Bitch

Is Heidi Cruz a Bitch?

2016-04-09T20:16:00.002-04:00

Is Heidi Cruz a Bitch? Babs has compiled some resources to help you to understand what's behind Heidi's resting bitch face.

"Ted Cruz's Wife Heidi has MAJOR Bitchface."

"Who is Heidi Cruz?"

"Is Heidi Cruz a little Strange? "

"Awkward Moments in American Journalism starring Dana Bash and Heidi Cruz"

Resting Bitchy Face is REAL

2016-04-07T18:13:00.001-04:00

Resting Bitchy Face is Real

I'm here to tell you Mary Poppins is a BITCH

2016-04-07T14:42:00.000-04:00

The REAL Mary Poppins as described by author P. L. Travers

The real Mary Poppins is a drunk, abusive, vain, bitch. How do I know? It takes one to know one, and, I just finished the book. I was gobsmacked to discover Mary Poppins isn't the perky, pretty, sickly sweet, "practically perfect" in every way savior to the unhappy Banks Family that Walt Disney spun into copyright and movie-making history.

Readers, she's a "See You Next Tuesday" know-it-all, gossiping, KVETCH.

So before you go see "Saving Mr. Banks," please read the evidence below taken directly from the book to support my thesis. Better yet, read the book yourself.

Drunk: "Mary Poppins then poured out another dose and solemnly took it herself. 'Rum punch,' she said, smacking her lips and corking the bottle." Note: This is while she was on the job. p. 13.

--Fondly,
Babs

Happy New Year

2014-01-02T15:14:00.002-05:00

Yup, that's my resolution for 2014.

To follow Babs please visit: http://miamiibitch.blogspot.com/

Maybe we shouldn't have skipped the "getting to know you" part...

2012-12-07T12:49:00.001-05:00

...then I would've known you didn't like girls.

Please join me in celebrating the 6th Anniversary of my Fang divorce by singing along with the jolly song below.

All Hail Madge!!

2012-11-27T11:58:00.001-05:00

It's been too long since I fell on my ass...

2012-11-09T10:28:00.000-05:00

Babs is working it this morning channeling Sheena Easton strutting her stuff up to the Metro platform.

Inner dialogue goes something like this... "Clown paint? check. Hair bumped? check. Rockin' behind the super dark Jackie O's? check. Lacy coffin gloves? check. You know what skinny bitch?...this Miami gig just might work out cuz there ain't no place in the contiguous US that you could rock this ghetto-fab leopard print coat and nary raise an eyebrow. You could be sportin' a pith helmet, a boa, have purple hair, an 'I Dream of Jeanie' harem ensemble, and nobody would even do a double take...hey maybe this is where you belong?..."

Then... "ouch, kerplunk" I have once again very publicly fallen, while taking a short cut to the train, cuz... guess what? I'm running late... Meanwhile nary a Miamian offers to assist this damn damsel in distress, or enquire as to my well being as they continue to walk over or sidestep me enroute to the Metro. Dust myself off, assess the damage.

"Waaah I want my mother... oh right she's dead." Inner dialogue resumes.. "Where was I? Oh, indeed.. I think this is where I belong."

The Bosses!!

2012-11-06T11:28:00.000-05:00

2012-10-09T23:27:00.001-04:00

GOP Convention

2012-08-26T19:49:00.000-04:00

It's the most wonderful time of the year....TEBOW TIME!!!

2012-08-22T20:00:00.000-04:00

Oh Yea...

2012-08-05T12:10:00.000-04:00

Mame is right

2012-08-04T17:54:00.000-04:00

"Hello Central Casting? This is Babs...send me a tall handsome Olympian man of my dreams...oh yea, legs optional and it's no never mind if he's got a funky name."
--Oscar Pistorius he is victorious. --Babs

Miami Mosquitoes...

2012-08-03T05:49:00.004-04:00

Miami mosquitoes...pure harbingers of the underworld unleashed from the bowels of hell with a mandate from Diablo himself. Bite the most susceptible skin...the lips, the palm of the hands, the joints, the eyelid...
After doing a night of battle with this species, I awaken as puffy as Courtney Love, and I haven't had a drink in a week...

To that "special*" someone in my life...

2012-08-02T20:14:00.004-04:00

*as in RETARDED...special Olympian

Bay City Bitches

2012-06-16T14:14:00.000-04:00

Escape from Facebook Nation

2012-05-20T12:39:00.000-04:00

Just checking in..be back soon...

xoxo

Babs

Happy Sunday from Miami!!

2012-04-29T14:44:00.000-04:00

Babs successfully relocated.

2012-04-14T12:18:00.000-04:00

"...Miami seemed not a city at all but a tale, a romance of the tropics, a kind of waking dream in which any possibility could and would be accomodated." p.33
---Miami by Joan Didion

First dead people were logging onto my Facebook page...

2012-04-01T17:10:00.013-04:00

Then the "big guy" called and I let it go to voicemail. Are you people just yanking my April Fool's chain or am I going mad?

Open Mail (not Douche) Bag Sunday

2012-04-01T14:34:00.001-04:00

To: Babs

From: the Spanish Fly

Dear Babs:
If you laugh really hard every day will you get a six pack? My friend said you can but I don't believe her...

Dear Fly:
I know it to be true, if you laugh AND drink a six pack WHILE you are working out for a HALF HOUR everyday, then stick your finger down your throat...you will have a six pack in no time... This is my patent pending "Babs 'Lazy Bitch'" diet plan. Get totally wasted and totally ripped at the same time. EASY/PEASY!

"Nomen est omen"...Name is destiny

2012-03-27T12:48:00.008-04:00

Walking into work this morning a young man asked Babs if he could help her carry her heavy load. Since girlhood, Babs adored it when a boy offered to carry her books and/or aid this damsel in distress. It didn't hurt that the young man was extremely handsome, despite being a "ginger."

The young ginger had recently been accepted into an Osteopathic School of Medicine, which got Babs to reminiscing about growing up under the care of Osteopaths,"Dr. Hurt and Dr. Payne" (really). This could go far in explaining her fear of doctors.

Which delivers us to the subject of this wordy post, i.e. the phenomenon of "nomen est omen," at which Charles Dickens was the unparalleled master. Below see one example of Dickens genius at this particular art form...

Pecksniff, n. (and adj.)

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Etymology: the name of Mr Pecksniff, a hypocritical character in Charles Dickens's novel The Life and Adventures of Martin Chuzzlewit.

An unctuous hypocrite, a person who affects benevolence or pretends to have high moral principles; (also) a person who interferes officiously in the business of others. "We had, perhaps, never known a Newman Noggs, nor a Pecksniff, nor a Micawber; but we had known persons of whom these figures were but the strictly logical consummation."

**If you don't have adhd, and can sit still long enough to read, you may find the article below fascinating!!

How names influence our destinies

We don't choose the names we carry, but they have an immense and often hidden effect on our lives

Published in "The Week" March 9, 2012, at 10:33 AM

Do names matter?
To a remarkable degree, they do. Though we don't choose them, our names are badges bearing information about our class, education level, and ethnic origin — or at least those of our parents. Scientific studies have shown that the world makes different assumptions about a boy named Tyrone than it does about one named Philip, and while those assumptions are often wrong, they can have a considerable influence on the course of a life. A name can even exert unconscious influence over a person's own choices. Some scientific researchers contend that there are disproportionately large numbers of dentists named Dennis and lawyers named Lauren, and that it's not purely an accident that Dr. Douglas Hart of Scarsdale, N.Y., chose cardiology or that the Greathouse family of West Virginia runs a real-estate firm. To some degree, this has always been true: The Romans had the expression nomen est omen, or "name is destiny."
Has the way we name kids changed?
In this country it has. Most families used to give boys names chosen from a repertoire established within a family over generations, and while that was less true for girls, there was a relatively finite range of acceptable names, largely limited to those of saints. But in recent decades, the number of names in circulation has exploded. In 1912, when the most popular names in America were John and Mary, parents of 80 percent of American babies chose from among the 200 most common names. Today less than half of girls and about 60 percent of boys are accorded a top-200 name. One study found that 30 percent of African-American girls born in California during the 1990s were given names they shared with no one else born in the state in the same year.
What influences those choices?
The simple answer is taste, but taste is a complex thing. Names come into and fall out of fashion much as clothing styles, musical genres, and haircuts do. None of the top five girls' names from 1912 — Mary, Helen, Dorothy, Margaret, and Ruth — ranked in the top 40 in 2010, when the leaders were Emma, Olivia, Sophia, Isabella, and Ava. The name Wendy surged after the release of the movie and musical Peter Pan in the early 1950s, and Brittany took off in the 1990s with the career of pop star Britney Spears. The popularity of the names Isabella, Jacob, and Cullen in recent years has been linked to characters with those names in Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series of vampire novels.
Is it good to have a popular name?
In situations where the name is all that is known, people with common first names fare better than those with unique ones. Studies have found that a résumé submitted under a name perceived as African-American, such as Lakesia Washington, gets less attention from potential employers than the identical résumé bearing a more "Caucasian" name, like Mary Ann Roberts. A recent Australian study found that people tend to have better impressions of co-workers and political candidates whose names they can pronounce easily. Nonetheless, in this era of individual self-expression, many parents view commonplace names like Thomas or Jane as boring and uncreative. "For some parents, picking out a baby name is like curating the perfect bookshelf or outfit," said writer Nina Shen Rastogi in Slate.com. "It should telegraph refinement without snobbishness, exclusivity without gaucheness, uniqueness without déclassé wackiness." That's a fine line to walk: Aiden, one of the most popular boy's names in the U.S. over the last seven years, has now lost the exclusivity that made it attractive to many parents.
How do we react to our own names?

So are our names our destiny?
They undoubtedly have influence, but "destiny" is too strong a word. "Names only have a significant influence when that is the only thing you know about the person," says psychologist Dr. Martin Ford of George Mason University. "Add a picture, and the impact of the name recedes. Add information about personality, motivation, and ability, and the impact of the name shrinks to minimal significance." Condoleezza Rice's name might have held her back, but she was so smart, talented, and driven that she became secretary of state. On the other hand, there are people like Sue Yoo of Los Angeles, who grew up with people telling her, "Oh my god, that's your name, you should totally become a lawyer." Today she's an attorney. "Psychologically," she says, her name probably "helped me decide to go in that direction."
Names of the West
Where you live has a big impact on what names you prefer for your children. In the American West, University of Michigan researcher Michael Varnum has found, parents are more likely to give their children unconventional names than residents of the Eastern seaboard are. He says that reflects the persistence of the pioneer preference for "individualistic values such as uniqueness and self-reliance." You'd think that biblical names would be more popular in conservative regions, but the reverse is true. Naming expert Laura Wattenberg says that "classic, Christian, masculine" names like Peter and Thomas are more popular in blue states, while "an androgynous pagan newcomer like Dakota" is more likely to show up in a red state. Alaska's Sarah Palin, that Western avatar of traditional values, is a perfect example of that paradox: She named her children Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper, and Trig.

What do these two have in common?

2012-03-21T17:24:00.001-04:00

LOTS!!!...

They were both born at Mercy Hospital in Bay City, Michigan.

They are both 5'4" tall.

They both enjoy dressing up like nuns.

They both tend to fancy younger fellas:

Babs and the Winkelvoss Twins.

Madge and her latest "Carlito."

Their daughters are oftentimes mortified by what Mummy will do, say, wear, and marry:

They are the emotional epicenters of their large, extended, Catholic families

Babs and Madge both did hard time in Dornoch, Scotland

And they will finally be under the same roof on November 19, 2012 in Miami, FL!!

TGIF

2012-03-16T11:24:00.002-04:00

Babs wants a Baby...

2012-03-14T17:25:00.000-04:00

....not one of my own, but in my cabal of friends, not one is a bona fide BABY or even a cute kid. Not that I've ever liked babies or kids all that much having grown up with 6 younger siblings. I always liked my own kids, most of the time...

However, all my cohort is now in the granny business. What does it mean to be a granny? You really don't need to be "nice" to the baby, but you can chill wit it and be your regular old bad sef. In fact, that's the job of a granny to be a little kooky and lovable. Just the opposite of being a mom, which requires seriousness and constant effort and work...

I don't actually want to change a diaper, but I can imagine tooling around a hipster art show with a darling little baby in tow... of course the baby would have to be cute, and/or wear cute clothes. And people would say "you're that baby's granny? Can't be...you look too cool, hip. and young."

I need to also pass on important life lessons to a baby....how to travel, order up and down a menu, and what to look for in a boyfriend... basically how to have fun. Plus I'd like to see a little mini me, who can mix an extra dry martini, watch "Dazed and Confused" with me, and be granny's best friend.

"Hey Granny, can you come and get me? My Mom's being a total BITCH."