Baby In Nine

God Love & Maca

noreply@blogger.com (Bi9) — Tue, 18 Aug 2015 07:20:00 +0000

Writing a final blog for BabyInNine has been haunting the back of my mind for some time.

Too many years have past since my last contribution. So much so that I have debated the relevance of this piece. But maybe, just maybe someone somewhere may want to know how my BabyInNine journey ended.

Five years on; a husband, no dog, no cat, a brown picket fence and two kids later…life is good and I am happy.

As I reflect on the time that has passed, I conclude that despite my good understanding of how babies are made biologically, the science doesn’t quite cover it for me. In my eyes the entire process is lovingly cloaked in a million yards of mystery and awesomeness.

Can anyone really be in doubt that a higher being is involved?

I am in no doubt.

In my heart I feel that the reasons my body went from producing hormones that would make it very difficult to get pregnant (see previous blogs) to going on to having not one but two babies was because of the following formula:

God + Love + Maca = Noah & Anabelle

God

My GP was lovely, very attentive and solution focused. But contrary to what is deemed to be professional practice, he was willing to extend a word of faith. I recall at one of my visits he suggested I should pray and make a deal with God. A deal I was willing to honour.

From the moment he shared his thoughts, I felt a little hot with guilt as I hadn’t spoken to the good Lord in years.
It seemed a bit of a cheek to ask Him for a baby when He hadn’t seen me (at church) or heard (prayer) from me in yonks.

I couldn't bring myself to string the words together for months, until a day of despair, desperation and a bath full of tears. Then my prayer flowed a little something like this:

Dear God,

I feel really bad bowing before you in need. You must think this is well out of order as I don’t even stop to grace my food properly before gobbling it up. But please know I love you and appreciate you and I’m sorry that I define M I A (missing in action).

Lord I really would love to be pregnant and become a little person's mother. I lay in bed sometimes and day dream of my little someone crawling from their room into mine and my heart warms with the prospect. But nothing is happening and I need your help.

If you help me I promise to bring my son or daughter to church and help them to know you.
Amen

Love

My home is a loving space to be in. If there was a weather forecast for it, it would be ‘mostly sunny’. My husband has a remarkable ability to be consistently positive and loving. So dispite the many attempts my tears made to drown me or those thoughts of ‘it’s never going to happen’ preyed on my mind, he was ready with affection, kind words or just welcomed silence.

Maca

How I stumbled on this wonder root I can’t tell you. It’s likely that after our results for hormone imbalance and sperm mobility I got Googling and maca showed up as a natural non invasive solution.

Importantly after my visit to Whole Foods in London to obtain the powder form. I started adding it to most of our main meals and smoothies. We didn’t finish the batch before I got pregnant. So to round off a time frame I was pregnant within two months (or so).

In summary, I truly believe that the environment for growth changed with prayer (and not just mine), the help of the maca and of course, lots of love.

Now in 2015 I am in awe of the beauty and laughter that surrounds me.
My son and daughter are very precious noisy additions to our family.

This is where my BabyInNine journery ends and another adventure begins.

Recovering from B.O (Blighted Ovum)

noreply@blogger.com (Bi9) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 19:00:00 +0000

December 2011 marked the end of my 10/11 weeks of pregnancy, hence my long absence (again) from social networking.

For those women (like me) who experienced the thrilling moment of finding out that they were pregnant for the first time, may also identify with me when I say, I floated on waves of excitement after receiving the news.
My brain went into overdrive and then overload with many questions and answers (a few listed below):

Who can I tell now? Boss (as I was at work).

Didn’t I have a rum and coke last week? Oh God! The poor baby – straight out of the womb and into AA meetings.

Shall I even tell my husband or shall I wait until I’m 12 weeks? No I can’t wait – I must call him now – oh no, he won’t answer his phone.

When am I due? Sometime in June 2012 I guess.

Oh it can’t be true, shall I take another test? Maybe 9 positive tests were enough.

True to form, I started to reorganize my life and made changes. From the type of food I ate to the toiletries used and my finances.

Seemingly, I was doing all the right things until that horrid morning, when I was given a frightful wake up call at about 5am. Light spotting was the shrilling alarm that transformed me from a collected woman into a mad hatter. From that point on, fear over took my excitement and overshadowed (in different degrees at different stages) the remainder of my pregnancy.

Over several weeks I was monitored through transvaginal scans and was eventually told that I had B.O. There I go again (but had to lighten the mood folks). What the sonographer actually said was that I experienced a Blighted Ovum also known as a missed miscarriage (see http://tinyurl.com/87v88vf for more information).

Sadness engulfed my fears in slow motion.
With blatent reminders all around me it was hard to surpress.

Tears often sprung up and flowed uncontrollably to drench my array of down casting emotions for days. While sensibility offered reason for the depth of my feelings – I was full of hormones - my heart and hopes were shattered with grief and there was no horizon in sight.
Disappointment after such an ordeal is to be expected, but what I didn't expect was to be left feeling like a fraud, punished, ashamed, incompetent and quite simply - rubbish.

BUT in moments like these you learn how to really define love. My husband (he’s just so awesome), family and boss knew me enough to give me the support that I needed to help me recover from despair. Juicy baby Ava also deserves a special mention as she was partly responsible for many of my smiles (when I heard of her antics at home from her lovely Nan, or watched her video on YouTube (check out http://tinyurl.com/ckcnfzc Ava J and Jessie J))

The future is bright readers, and the horizon is clear as I look beyond the haze.

Lady patiently awaits her BabyInNine reality to begin.

The ‘Monkey’ Lied

noreply@blogger.com (Bi9) — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 22:22:00 +0000

Have you ever heard the age-old saying, ‘speak to the organ grinder, not the monkey’?

Well the day that I called my General Practitioner (GP (organ grinder)) and spoke to the receptionist (monkey) to confirm the outcome of my test results, was the day I clearly took leave from my senses.

Instead of skimming through my notes to declare that all my tests were fine, and that I was not required to see the doctor, the receptionist should have said that she didn’t have time to read through 5 pages of my results. Ok, ok, to be fair I wouldn’t have been very impressed. My blood may have turned into scorching hot larva with that response, but at that point I would have been able to make an informed choice to schedule an appointment with my GP asap.

So I sat quite comfortably on cloud nine, rest assured that there were no obvious indications (through the blood test results) of infertility or related issues. Which in itself suggested that it was just probably a matter of time before I conceived.

Well cloud nine soon cleared and I then fell to earth with a THUMP.

If it wasn’t for my GP contacting me two months later to find out why I had not visited the surgery regarding my results, I wouldn’t have found out that one my iron levels are below the level it should be, I’m over producing prolactin, and my progesterone is lower than is normal.

Consequently, from what I understand now; the ttc dream can be made more difficult with the imbalance of prolactin and or progesterone in my body.

BUGGER, BUGGER, BUGGER!

No worries…

Having vented my frustration I remain genuinely pleased that out of the 52 tests taken from my blood sample, only 3 issues were detected all of which are (most importantly) treatable.

Our next steps toward Bi9 as laid out by my GP is to get my husband tested and then depending on the results we will be referred to a fertility clinic for treatment.

Additionally, I will make sure that my diet has an upsurge of the right nutritious intake to give my body a boost, by omitting the Pregnacare Conception supplement and introducing the RIGHT doses of folic acid, evening primrose and iron. TRYING to eat red meat, and even more dark green vegetables (which will be my pleasure).

I’m feeling positive because now I know what I’m dealing with. I’m not facing an impossible situation; there are just a few imbalances that need to be put right.

The moral of the story; as intelligent as a monkey is, the organ grinder is always the one to talk to.

May the London autumn breeze blow 700 tons of baby dust your way.

HEALTH WARNING: Goggles may be required

1,2,3... SMILE

noreply@blogger.com (Bi9) — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 11:40:00 +0000

My mood reflected the weather here in London this morning - cold and gloomy, until I heard a still small voice whisper; count your blessings one by one, so I did:

I have a very special husband
I have a loving home and a beautiful house
My family unit is incredible in so many ways

Not everyone can number their blessings to 3, so today I am very grateful that I could indeed go on but just choose not to show off, you know how it is.

Now my frown has been replaced with something more fitting for a woman that has so much happiness in her life and nothing really to complain about...my smile reigns supreme.

Knock Knock

noreply@blogger.com (Bi9) — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 19:41:00 +0000

Me: Knock Knock
You: Who's there?
Me: Just Me

It's been such a long time since I've put pen to paper - years actually, if you take that literally - these days it's all about 'typing to script' rather the prehistoric (but reliable) 'pen to paper'.

Seriously, my absence from the social network was almost required as my thoughts were so melancholy. So much that my inspiration was heavily saturated with the weight of worry, and the feeling of hopelessness all of a sudden - all for far too long. As a consequence, hints of my clouded mentality would have surely leaked into Bi9's blog, so I stayed away.

My pivotal moment appeared when I finally visited my local GP (I'm generally so reluctant) to find out whether there were any immediate signs of infertility. Blind to all but one, I was (and am) not just green with envy (some days) but I am a rainbow of the sin, mainly of newly pregnant mums and mums (I wish I wasn't). So for my sanity I needed a little trickle of hope that would surely out weigh my despair.

Thank GOD the various blood tests were negative (in other words, the test were fine). But when I next speak to the doctor I'll ask whether more tests can be done - maybe an ultra sound or MRI - just to make sure I'm all wired up correctly. I hope he doesn't tell me to, 'just relax' I'm fed up of hearing that, I am as relaxed as I can be (ummm... maybe it's time to light a candle and burn some lavender incense, just to make sure…lol).

Me: Knock knock
You: Who's there?
Me: Husband, wife and Bi9 (soon we hope)

Balancing on a Wall of Indifference

noreply@blogger.com (Bi9) — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 21:48:00 +0000

It’s 26 days since my cycle began and I can honestly say that I haven’t allowed my mind to wonder either side my emotional wall of indifference, until today. I suspect this partly subconscious attempt is a futile effort not to inflate my hopes too much. Well, at least until I know for sure that, Little Red Riding Hood has gone on an extended holiday for 9 months.

Last week, the press delivered a stark reminder that conception is only a small fraction of this BIG challenge. Despite ALL the effort made to conceive and have a healthy pregnancy, it can still end in heartbreak. Amanda Holden’s (Brittan Got Talent judge) pregnancy tragically coming to an end at 7 months has brought this thought to the forefront of my mind.
Yet I am still willing to pursue the prize of motherhood.

So my quest for a Baby In Nine continues; I’ve been eating well, enjoying fresh fish, and vegetables. As well as keeping hydrated with regular doses of red bush tea (great antioxidant) and a selection of juices. Having said this, I’ve not been able to consume more than half a litre of water a day (plain water is such a bore), except to take my Conception Support supplements by Boots Chemist. Additionally, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol or caffeine including chocolate, umm well…I confess I had one Twix…I just couldn’t help myself (I practically breathed it in I craved it sooo much).

Oh yeah…I nearly forgot another triumph; I’ve been exercising more regularly too! Well that is if you constitute running from the foxes to the bus top each morning a meaningful regime.

Anyway, enough of that, this is potentially the good bit, on the 12th of Feb I’ll know if She’s gone on that holiday I mentioned earlier and if She has, I’ll take the dreaded pregnancy test on the 14th of Feb. Either way I’ll keep you posted.

Throw a little baby dust my way (I’ve got a fist full for you)!

Ready Steady Go!

noreply@blogger.com (Bi9) — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 23:06:00 +0000

The pressure is on. I have the echoes of, 'when are we going to hear the patter of tiny feet’, in a hundred different forms, rattling around in my head, coupled with my own desire to parent and share the new love of my life.

So I’m all geared up (but not overjoyed) to do all the recommended things by one or two of the experts out there (check out; www.goodtoknow.co.uk/family/142797/Eat-to-get-pregnant). One of which is to eat well, which for me means eliminating caffeine (come on… NO CHOCOLATE…that can’t be right) and alcohol (not a problem). As well as introducing seeds (no I’m not trying to plant a tree), brazil nuts etc, more fish and vegetables.

The biggest challenge for me this month is going to be having breakfast. When I wake up at the ungodly hour 3:50am, I think that my body is a little torn between whether it should be yearning for a slice of pizza or oats porridge!

Oh boy, I have a feeling it’s going to be a challenging month.

… But this journey is not for the swift but for the girl who can endure to the end.

So on your marks, get set, go!

I Think I Prefer My Overdraft -

noreply@blogger.com (Bi9) — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 18:55:00 +0000

'Being in the RED' doesn't mean what it used to mean to me anymore. Each month instead of worrying whether my bank account is painfully overdrawn, I find myself on a 28 day emotional roller coaster hoping that when I get to the end of the ride, my body will be ready to begin another (longed for) journey for two. The result...a BabyInNine!

Four months on from embarking on this heart tugging journey, today my body has presented the irrefutable evidence that I am not pregnant...again....I'm a Lady in Red...and I'm not talking about a hot new pair of shoes!

Needless to say the news has drained me today, I feel so disappointed and even responsible for the undesirable result.

Reflectively, I have spent maybe too long considering where I went wrong over the past month, today. So I am determined (not sure how yet) to transform my mood into a positive forward focused state by the end of this evening.