She did tell me that if I haven’t had this guy by Tuesday, that I can just come to the hospital at 6-7 a.m. and they’ll admit me and keep me. Since I’m already pretty dilated, it won’t be an issue. I’m hoping it happens before then because I couldn’t even get an appointment to see her next week. I’m seeing the Midwife who works in the practice, which is fine, but it’s disappointing that I don’t have an appointment with her, if I am still pregnant!!

I actually have been having contractions all afternoon and they seem to be somewhat regular, but not close enough together to be actual labor just yet. I’ll keep you all posted….

When we first found out she was having a girl, we decided to “betroth” her with one of my sons. However, we didn’t know which one, considering they are exact opposites. Robbie – my older son with dark hair and eyes – is high maintenance and very particular. The typical first born. Andrew – the younger - is laid back and always laughing. He’s my little Rastafarian, only blonde haired and blue eyed. So we decided that the boys will have to win her. Yes, win her. Forget compatible personalities and complimenting looks; they’re going to duel. When of proper age, Scarlet will be hidden away in a cottage in an enchanted forest, and my baby boys – I mean, the MEN – will have to overcome obstacles to obtain her hand in marriage. Each will battle a magical creature (you know, a dragon, hippogriff, etc.), engage in a verbal warfare with a sarcastic elf, and upon triumphing, will be rewarded with clues. The first clue will lead them to a key that opens the cottage, and the second clue will lead them to an engagement ring. The first boy (forget it, I can’t refer to my toddlers as men yet) to successfully defeat each obstacle and rescue her from the cottage wins.

Having that said, I find it ironic to say that neither she nor I read many books about pregnancy or childbearing. Oh, we read books. Obviously. But they were generally about boy wizards that attend Hogwarts, or lions that rule in the land of Narnia. We of course read What To Expect When You’re Expecting, and another one I read was called On Becoming Baby Wise. I have heard both ends of the spectrum – that every child is different and therefore, parents can’t rely on books to train them, and I’ve heard that books better prepare us for parenthood. So I have two questions. 1.) What books did you read and would recommend for other parents to read? And 2.) How important do you believe it is to read books before having a baby?

TMI alert: I’ve been waking up every morning the past 3 days with something that may or may not resemble the mucous plug. I know it doesn’t mean much, but it means I’m getting close, which I know I’m getting anyway because of the time. So, why not be prepared, right?

I don’t think I need much for my bag. I’m going to pack a few outfits for baby. Maybe a couple onesies, some socks, a hat or two, a blanket (although I’m slightly obsessed with the standard hospital ones), and a couple of “outfits”.

For me, I never even changed out of my gown last time except to put on the most hideous nursing nightie known to man. I will not do that again. I’m going to bring a couple of comfortable pants and shirts, a robe, socks and some nursing bras. I know I don’t need underwear. Those mesh ones they give you at the hospital are the best!

I’m pretty sure they have good wireless access so I’ll be bringing my laptop. Of course I also need my cell phone and charger, some hair bands, toiletries and this time I’m bringing a minor amount of makeup. I looked so scary in all the pictures last time…..I want to look semi-decent this time when people come visit me and take my picture.

Not today! I couldn’t wait to clean. What the heck?! That is so not like me. I hate cleaning! Well, I cleaned……and I cleaned…..and now my boys’ rooms are totally clean. The nursery is ready for my newest son to arrive whenever he feels like it. All his blankets, burp cloths, bibs, onesies, hats and socks are all clean! His car seat is clean and assembled.

Yesterday, I even bought him a new stroller liner, which I used to think was a totally frivolous item, but it is so freakin’ adorable and makes an old stroller look new so I feel good about it. It has different shades of blue and green guitars with a brown background on one side and matching colored stripes on the other. He’s going to be a little rock star!

The only issue now is that my back is in some serious pain. I actually took tylenol for the first time since being pregnant. I hope it works because I still have that burning desire to get stuff done, but I don’t want to kill myself in the process. For those of you that have been through the nesting phase, how long does it last? I will cry if I wake up tomorrow and it’s already gone.

The good thing I’ve realized is that you forget the discomfort. I know I was complaining about pressure, heart burn, sinus pain, being hot and it being almost impossible to get comfortable at night. These are the same complaints I have now. Obviously it’s just par for the course and it will all be over before I know it.

Instead of waking up 4 times a night to pee, I’ll be waking up to feed my baby. Instead of placing my hands on my stomach, in complete amazement, as I feel my little one move around inside of me, I’ll be staring at him in awe as he moves in my arms. Instead of dreaming of kissing his chubby cheeks and smelling his newborn baby head, I will actually be doing it. I can’t wait!

I’m sure life as we know it is going to be completely turned upside down as we adjust into a family of 4. I’m not sure who it will be hardest on - me and DH or Jax, our first baby boy! I have a lot of anxiety about him feeling secure and happy with all the changes to come. After all, for three years he has been our everything. He is a well adjusted boy though, and he has been anticipating the arrival of his baby brother for a loooong time now. I am hoping he’ll do just fine.

We’ve involved him in as much as we can to get ready for baby. Today we took out the infant car seat to wash up and keep out. We will also be raising the crib and getting baby boy’s room all cleaned up. Things are moving along…..and I’ll be sure to update after my appointment on Tuesday.

My intention isn’t to scare you, but to inform you so that you may be prepared. Though I experienced many things after having my first son, I will share the most pronounced, lest I write an entire book on the woes of post-natal life. So let’s begin with your stay at the hospital. You’ve just given birth – congratulations, you’re a parent, the pregnancy is over, you did it.

Now, get the diapers ready. And I don’t mean for Baby; I mean for you. If you give a vaginal birth (I refuse to refer to it as a natural birth, as there is nothing natural about a human being materializing painfully from your crotch), expect to hemorrhage heavily for up to six weeks. You won’t even be able to pee without having to cleanse yourself and change the triple-layered overnight pad the hospital has supplied you with. Granted, the bleeding slows each day, but know that it is normal to bleed for the first six weeks. If after six weeks you are still bleeding more than a tampon (or panty-liner, if you’re still too sore for tampons) can control, call your doctor or be sure to tell him/her at your six-week check-up.

Let’s talk about breastfeeding and those blatantly incorrect images we’ve all seen on TV where the child naturally latches on during the first try, and the mother smiles and cries and blubbers about how wonderful it is. This is a severe lie. There are very few women who have had breastfeeding experiences as this, and if any of you are reading this – I hate you. So after you try stuffing your sore nipple in your child’s mouth and comment on how you’re sure Baby is suffocating, you’ll wonder if Baby is even getting any milk. Suddenly, you’ll feel pain in your ovaries that feel just as bad as – if not worse - than contractions. You will swear loudly, and say that hellfire has combusted in your womb and ask for someone to hail for an exorcist and to hand you your rosary because Satan has entered your reproductive system. When this happens – Baby is breastfeeding absolutely correctly. And surprisingly enough, it’s not Lucifer; it’s your uterus contracting. You’ll hate it now, but you’ll be glad in a couple of months when your stomach shrinks back down to its normal size and you can fit into your skinny jeans again.

Moving on. So either Baby breast feeds or you resort to the bottle. Either way is fine. Colostrum begins morphing into breast milk around day three or four, and you will know this is happening because you’ll wake up in the morning and see that you have the breasts of a porn star. You will go to the bathroom and gawk at your massive rack, but upon a closer inspection, you see that it looks like someone shoved twenty-seven medium-sized stones into each one. You might swear again. Suddenly it feels like someone shoved stones into them. Now you will swear, because they are incredibly tender. This is called engorgement, and lasts about twenty-four to forty-eight hours. The best thing to do is to wear a nursing bra. Once the engorgement has past, you’re free of breast pain until you decide to stop breastfeeding, and you begin to dry up. Good luck.

The last thing I will touch on is the state of your emotions. Whether or not you experience post partum depression or baby blues is not guaranteed, but I can promise you that you will find yourself crying. A lot. You may cry because you’re elated. You may cry because it sounds like fun and you have nothing else to do. More than likely, you will cry with no reason whatsoever. Don’t be hard on yourself; it’s completely normal. In fact, indulge. Your hormones are dropping significantly every single day, and combine that with the life-changing event of having a baby along with your lack of sleep, and that’s reason enough to shed a few tears. This should only last roughly two weeks, but if you find yourself crying beyond that or if you feel like you’re experiencing post partum depression, please contact your doctor.

So there is a general run-down of the purgatory that is post-natal life. There are some things I’ve bypassed purposely and some that I felt weren’t necessary to mention. But all in all, don’t be scared. After all, most women continue to have more babies. And while you’re lying in your bed swearing up and down that you’ll never have another baby again, just remember that nothing lasts forever. You WILL heal completely, you WILL have sex again (yes you will!), and more than likely, you WILL want to give little Junior a brother or sister. We are women. We are built for this. Men suck.

Some ideas I had for meals that freeze well are: lasagne, meatballs and/or bolognese sauce, cooked sausages and onions/peppers to just heat up (although I’m not sure how that freezes - anyone???), a few different types of quiches, black bean and rice casserole, chicken parmesan, enchiladas and/or burritos….

Any other ideas?? It’s very hot here and all of these dishes seem very heavy and hearty. I’d love some lighter fare, but can’t really think of anything that would freeze well. Can you?

He renamed “Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii”. Yes, that was her full given name.  The court is profoundly concerned about the very poor judgment which this child’s parents have shown in choosing this name.  “It makes a fool of the child and sets her up with a social disability and handicap, unnecessarily.”

New Zealand law does not recognize any names that would “cause offense to a reasonable person,” among other conditions, according to Brian Clarke, the registrar general of Births, Deaths and Marriages.

Registration officials blocked names such as “Fish and Chips”, “Yeah Detroit”, “Keenan Got Lucy”, “Sex Fruit”, “Number 16 Bus Shelter” and “Violence”.

Are you kidding me? These are just the most ridiculous names (which I even hesitate to call them) I have EVER heard. What kind of people would do that to a child…..their child? It is beyond me.

What is the craziest name you’ve ever heard? I’m sure it’s tame compared to these beauties….