Back-handsprings Through Bridgetown

A new job and a new city!

2014-03-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

I recently got hired to work at the Gates Foundation and I am moving to Seattle. Just a few major life changes in the works! Seriously, planning a wedding, moving states, starting a new job… this is just nuts!

Maybe I need to change my blog name… I will no longer be backhand-springing through Bridgetown. What are the nicknames for Seattle? I feel a Google search in the near future.

Oh, and the wedding is in 3 months. Call me crazy! No seriously, feel free, I wont deny it.

My cheerleaders won the State Championship!

2014-03-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

Next major happening!?

Wilson Cheeleading took home another first place trophy! Our girls worked hard all year and it paid off. I love when that happens. Obviously it is great to have the life lesson that things don’t always turn out the way you want, but an even better/ more fun, life lesson is when kids experience hard work paying off! Man, I really love to win!

It was a ton of fun to watch these ladies live up to their potential, hit a great routine and take home the trophy they deserved! It was my last season coaching and a great way to end an awesome 5-year run.

Remember me? Just a few updates!

2014-03-13T17:01:00.000-07:00

So many things have happened since my last post! I will go in order over the next few days.

First things first.

I got engaged! Brian proposed to me in the freezing rain during the snow-pocalypse we had in PDX not so long ago.

It all started on Saturday morning when the cheerleading competition my girls were competing in was canceled. His plans took a major turn, because now I would be with him all day! He INSISTED that we go over to his parent’s house, even though the roads were treacherous and it was snowing hard. I argued and practically melted down in protest, but he persisted. I seriously thought we were going to die on the road as frozen dismembered ice cube versions of ourselves. Now I know why he was so stubborn, the ring was there!

Once we got back to my house we went sledding with Marina all afternoon. It was ridiculous fun. When we began our walk to the harbor-side McCormicks from my apartment, the freezing rain had started. The walk was miserable, and much longer than I remembered! The last time I made that journey it was 75 and sunny…

Brian proposed on the waterfront in the snow, under freezing rain and twinkly lights. I wouldn’t want it any other way!

Sorry for the large face/ square Insta photos.

Danke Schoen

2014-02-04T15:11:00.000-08:00

Seriously! Thank you for sticking around to the point that you will even read this. Christmas happened, I went to Austria, cheer season is happening, etc. Long time no post.

A lot has happened and I am going to start with Austria! It was amazing you guys. I have been back for a LONG time and I have yet to upload my photos. Instead, I will email myself a few from my phone so I can show you. Yes, I am that lazy. Just let it go. I am also not able to take any more photos at this point… my phone is full. I have resorted to deleting apps, music and audiobooks. All to avoid plugging my phone in for 10 minutes. Priorities!

First we went to Innsbruck and served at a Young Life camp for US military kids stationed overseas. It was a blast! Awesome kids, awesome skiing, awesome views!

Night sledding

At the top!

After camp we went to Salzburg. I LOVED Salzburg. It was by far my favorite stop. It had the city feel that is so intriguing (like Vienna) but it was still in the Alps and beautiful (like Innsbruck). We acted like Liesel and Ralph (Sans Nazis), climbed to the fortress and drank beer made by monks.

The top of the fortress

Our fun travel companions!

The Sound of Music Tour

Being Liesel and Ralph... 26 going on 27

Then we went to explore in Vienna. We prayed at St. Stephens, ate schnitzel (overrated) and simply just enjoyed everything Austria has to offer!

Schonbrunn Palace

That's all for now!

What is your favorite Christmas song?

2013-12-16T14:58:00.000-08:00

Let’s get real. At holiday parties we get stuck making small talk. One of my favorite, easy, I don’t know you conversation topics is Christmas music. You can get jokey about how they play it too soon, trash how annoying Feliz Navidad is etc. But if I want to actually get to know someone a bit better, I will ask about their favorites and why. My own answer is a two-parter. I have a favorite song, but it isn't about Jesus. And that sort of feels wrong, since Christmas is REALLY about the birth of Jesus! So instead, I go with one Christmas song and one Christmas carol.

Christmas song
My favorite Christmas song is Silver Bells. I love it because it reminds me of how it feels in Portland during the entire month of December. Just the reference to busy city sidewalks, cold weather and the feeling that everything is festive! (even the traffic lights) It especially takes me back to what the holiday season felt like as a little girl. I have memories of walking through down town Portland from my dad’s office building all the way to the Keller. Of course we were going to see the Nutcracker! It is only a 5 or 6 block walk, but I remember it being so cold and not even being phased, it was Christmas after all! We were decked out in our holiday best. I actually vividly remember wearing a green and black velvet cape... so ahead of the trends! I just love the holiday bustle of the city.

Silver Bells by She & Him on Grooveshark

Silver Bells by Bing Crosby & Frank Sinatra on Grooveshark

Christmas carol
My favorite Christmas carol is Go tell it On the Mountain. It also happens to be my mom’s favorite. I’m a copycat. It is just SO GOOD! But somehow, it isn't super popular. How can that be!? The message of the song is spot on.

Go Tell It On The Mountain by NEEDTOBREATHE on Grooveshark

Sachertorte, dirndls and Maria von Trapp.

2013-12-04T10:45:00.000-08:00

What do these things have in common? You guessed it! I’m going to Austria!

One sunny afternoon in June, Brian let me know that I may have the opportunity to go to Austria with him. Brian works for Young Life and his region is putting on a camp in Austria. I had little information, but he then said, “We leave the 26th of December and we will probably get to ski.”

We are going to Axams, Austria (outside Innsbruck). Fact: The 1964 and 1976 winter Olympics were hosted in Innsbruck, and many of the ski events were hosted in Axams. AT OUR RESORT! It is only a little beautiful. Take a gander at the hotel where camp will be:

The extra bonus here? Brian and I are going to travel after the camp. We are going to Salzburg and Vienna to get our tourist on. I can’t wait! I freak out about how much fun it is going to be and Brian quickly reminds me that it is going to be a ton of hard work… to which I say…

Then I ignore him and get excited again!

Happy Christmas season you crazy fools! If you want to get me a present, feel free to get me anything Tyrolean, Austrian or Bavarian – Those are all kinda the same thing right?

I guess I have some research to do. Also, the captain is a terrible winker! Let’s just blame the Nazis. On another note, you can bet I'm excited for the Carrie Underwood Sound of Music special!!

Victoria's Secret Model Eats Ice Cream with Tayor Swift.

2013-11-14T16:29:00.000-08:00

How's that for a headline!?

I LOVE the VS Fashion Show. It taped last night. Is it just me or is T-Swift working on her leg game? Maybe she is tryna get on Carrie’s level? Get em guuurl!

Some people get annoyed with the VS fashion show and get all “How can we possibly live up to this unnatural body standard!?” Uhhhh no one said you had to. It is just good entertainment with awesome musical acts. Crazy person. Also, it is winter. So it isn't like anyone is suggesting you put on a bikini tomorrow. I am suggesting you put on a big chunky sweater. It will all be okay!

PS. Those girls don’t eat food like normal people. Have you had food? It’s delicious! You know that saying, “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”… ??? That statement could not be more untrue! Whoever wrote that has never had truffle fries. or ice cream. or cheese.

This may or may not have been photo-shopped. Tune in on Dec. 10th to know for certain!

I plan on watching the VS fashion show on my couch. With a bowl of ice cream. In my big chunky sweater (for warmth from the ice cream). I could not be more excited! I always enjoy the energy and enthusiasm behind the show. And you know I love me some T-Swift!

Feel free to call me an anti-feminist. The show airs on December 10th, come over to throw things at me if you must!

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Things I care too much about.

2013-11-06T11:37:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, I listed some things that I don't care about. So I decided it couldn't hurt to share some unnecessary things that I care way too much about. Here we go!

String cheese:

This is important you guys. Not all brands of string cheese are created equally! I am picky about string cheese. My surprise favorite: Target brand. String cheese is the perfect salty snack!

Nailpolish:
I didn't care so much about nail polish until Sara influenced my life. But it has turned into a way to relax. You have to pay attention to your nails as you paint them. It totally gets my mind off anything potentially stressful and gets me into a zen mode. Then over time this happened…

That is in my bathroom. I’m not proud. Okay, maybe a little.

Coffee:

If you try to give me weak coffee, I will throw that scalding hot beverage in your face. I’m not even sorry about the hideous burns, should have tasted it before handing it to me.

Chapstick:

I have perpetually dry lips due to that fact that I drink too much coffee and not enough water. I am also a professional at losing chapstick. So if you ever have a spare, maybe slip it into my purse? Thanks in advance!

Halloween History

2013-10-31T11:50:00.000-07:00

In honor of Halloween, and throwback Thursday, I decided to post some photos of costumes over the years. This year I am not dressing up. I don’t know if this is because Halloween falls on a weird day, if it is because I am 26, or if it is because I was literally not invited to a single Halloween party… What the!? I need new/ better/ more friends.

I hope you enjoy this trip down (my personal) memory lane!

We begin in 2007. Why 2007? It is because this was the first year I retired my cut-off denim skirt. You’re welcome for sparing you the photos from 2005 and 2006!

Legends of the Hidden Temple

Libby and I stayed up until 2am making these shirts with stencils and fabric paint. Then we left the house at 4am to go to the REI garage sale. I think I would die if I tried to do something like that now. Ahhhh to be 20 again! (Unrelated side note: once I slept on the street to be in line for the REI garage sale. Now I would pay someone the amount of a full priced ski jacket, without getting an item in return, to not have to sleep on the street. How the times have changed!) Special note about this photo, It was taken mid-evening when we came back from the fraternities to use our own bathroom… Always thinking! Also, Brooke’s helmet is backwards. Haha!

Ninjas!

This was such a comfortable costume. I was wearing black scrubs that I ended up wearing as pajamas for the rest of the school year. Not only was this comfortable, but our weapons were multi use! Did you need a garnish with that drink? Let me help you.

SWAT team

This was just lazy. We put tape on our clothes to say SWAT. And Chelsii took those masks from her work. I will say, this was probably one of our more popular costumes. People LOVED the swat team. I think it is because we saved a floundering party though, clearly there is nothing remarkable about this costume.

Ballerinas

This was a fun one! Nothing to really say here.

Ke$ha and Nicki Minaj

Mar and I had a blast putting these costumes together. We put a pillow in her pants and trimmed her wig bangs! Haha!

Jazzercise

This was again, SO COMFORTABLE! Tennis shoes and stretchy pants? Yep! We danced our hearts out and our feet didn't even hurt the next day. Our evening in these costumes was at an Elton John cover band night. Feather boas and Olivia Newton John references galore!

I hope you all have an amazing Halloween! I will be at my parents house having chili and passing out candy. I think Halloween chili may be our most consistent family tradition.

The Pumpkin Patch Post

2013-10-22T13:16:00.000-07:00

It is clear that going to the pumpkin patch is a required activity. This is especially true in the NW. My feeds have been full of pumpkin couples, pumpkin babies, pumpkin toddlers, pumpkin sorority sisters, and my favorite, pumpkin spice lattes! PSYCH! I don’t care about your latte. I will admit that they are deloish though.

I have made 2 observations during this pumpkin season:
1. Pumpkin patch pictures are CUTE!
2. Everyone looks better in a pumpkin patch. Which is weird, because apparently orange is a tough color to wear. Whoever said orange is the new pink is seriously disturbed. –Elle Woods.

Now I will force you to look at my pumpkin patch pictures. They turned out cute, even though fog frizzes hair. Pumpkin magic. Enjoy!

Brian likes to do weird stuff like gaze into the distance. I don't quite have the hang of it... considering I look like I'm about to cry, or vomit, or both. Usually I cry when I vomit. Overshare? Whatever.

There are so many pictures of me looking at him! It isn't what you think though, I am usually just asking him to "please smile normal."

I know that first one looks fake, but I swear to you, it was real laughing! Pumpkins are hilarious!

Didn't you know!?

And I leave you with the most important photo of the day. Mini horses. Not only is my roommate obsessed with mini horses, but I assume these guys would have been friends with Li'l Sebastian... RIP.

The Perfect Medicine

2013-10-14T15:55:00.000-07:00

So I was sick last week. Just a stupid cold, but still! I hate being sick. Although, It's not as though anyone enjoys illness. I'm pretty sure I had a fever at one point, or at least I think I did. I don’t have a thermometer or anything. I am not a mom and I am not a doctor’s office… so I feel like that explains why I don’t have a thermometer. I do have a meat thermometer. Would that have worked? I mean, humans are technically meat right?

I figured out I had a fever when Marina walked into the house wearing running shorts and I was on the couch in my puffy down coat with the hood up. The aches and chills could have tipped me off, but it took that special visual for it to sink in.

The good news is that I am extra awesome and healthy now! I also spent the weekend in Black Butte with a few of my lovely friends.

A bloody, coffee and cards, the perfect medicine!

Leather pants like Ross Geller.

2013-10-01T11:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I saw 4ish posts about leather pants. I live in the Pacific NW and am not as bold with my fashion as many. There are plenty of folks here who are, it is just that my city is pretty casual. Because of this, I do not rock a full leather pant. I have my own toned down NW version though, leggings with faux leather panels up the side. They are as bold as I’m probably going to get.

I love them because they make me feel sassy. They also make me feel like I am channeling my fave character from Friends, Ross Geller. So ridiculous and perfectly pathetic!

I love Ross and his leather pants:

- Fart noises on the couch

- Shrinking from the sweat/ legs expanding from the heat

- Powder to absorb the moisture

- Lotion to get them back up

…Poor Ross. How could he know that the lotion and powder would make a PASTE!?!

Anywho, I plan on wearing my leggings often. Especially now that fall is here! Luckily these leggings will also help keep me from a "Ross like" situation. Don't worry, I will check on you full leather pants people if you haven’t come back from the bathroom. I will always assume you are potentially coated in a baby powder/ lotion paste.

PS. If you say Ross isn't your favorite character, you are lying. Or you haven’t watched the whole series. The divorces, the leather pants, the kundis, the teeth, the spray tan, the margaritas. Seriously!

Things I don’t care about.

2013-09-26T11:12:00.000-07:00

This mostly in regard to social media.

1.) Your Paleo diet. Or the fact that you made Paleo food. Piggy back: your vegan diet and your juice cleanse. Although, if I was doing a juice cleanse, I would tell EVERYONE! Just to brag and to get sympathy.

2.) Your Crossfit life. See this post.

3.) Your baby’s digestion, bowel movements and vomit. I like looking at pictures of your baby, but I don't want to hear about the other stuff. I want to have kids someday... please don't scare me away from it.

4.) Your latte foam. We have all seen pretty latte foam! (Addendum: if it is in the shape of an animal or something unique, feel free to post.)

5.) If your sports team is winning. I clearly need to quit Facebook and Twitter during football season. If I see one more waste of a post that says “Goooo Ducks! #WTD” or “Beaver Believer” or “Let’s go Hawks!”... Obviously the weekend and social media can no longer go hand in hand in my life. (Addendum: If your comment is funny or clever, feel free to post.)

For the record: I am guilty of plenty of lame posting. Like tons!! And I will continue to post pictures of my friends, my boyfriend, coffee and bloody marys as much as my little heart desires. I don’t care if you already know what they look like.

On a completely unrelated note, yet something I do not care about, Grey’s Anatomy is still on! I saw an add while watching Modern Family. I thought about it for a second and realized that I used to watch in 2006!!! Give it up Grey’s. You aren't ER. We all stopped watching MANY years ago.

This post may seem negative, but really I am just telling the truth for one little blog post. For the record, each annoying post is canceled out by at least 4 that I enjoy! I swear, I am not a miserable person.

Do you have a sense of self?

2013-09-24T11:12:00.002-07:00

What kind of question is that!? Makes you think, right? Ummm... yeah, I developed it while eating string cheese and watching E! News. Okay, I’ll take it seriously.

I think some super important self-development time in my life just happened over the past 4 years.

I was single, I was working, and all of a sudden I had the responsibility for taking ownership of who I am. It wasn't college life, or circumstances, or family, or a relationship. It was me. Alone. Finding out who I am as an individual. I was deciding to find a church, I was deciding how to live, and I had to stop depending on others and my community to define me. I went to church alone, started volunteering, started dating (kinda/ not really.. I didn't date. That is a lie).

The past 4 years have been a challenge, but they have been fun. They have shaped me into who I am now. I know that this will continue in different ways, but for now, I feel really good about how God has used this season of my life. I seriously cannot even imagine being in the relationship I’m in now without having had that time to develop a sense of self. If Brian and I kept dating right after college, I would probably still be that same co-dependent girl. I would let my circumstances and surroundings define my relationships and faith. Herd mentality, you know? Having the opportunity to discover who I am, as an individual, was seriously the best gift ever.

I think a sense of self and self-confidence go hand in hand as well. We all have our insecure moments… especially around meanies or intimidating people, but in general, self-confidence is necessary in order to be a functional human being whom others want to be around. Go on! Discover who you want to be! Many years ago, Destiny’s Child told us to be independent women. I may not be quite on the level Beyonce and co. were singing about… as all of my immediate family members live in the same city as me. But I’m trying Bey! Give me a freaking break!

I know this GIF is from the Survivor vid. But it is WAY better than the ones from Independent Women. Get off my back.

I hope that answer was serious enough for you! If you want to get to know me for reals, you can come over and we can read tabloids, watch ABC family and eat some cake and/or ice cream. Preferably both.

Apparently I take questions, so if you have any others, let me know! They could be thought provoking things like, “Who is your favorite character on Pretty Little Liars?” Or as serious as, “If you could perform one spell from Harry Potter, what would it be?” See! I am super deep. You can thank the past 4 years for that.

“Coffee” or “A coffee”

2013-09-20T09:45:00.000-07:00

Alright folks. Brian and I have an ongoing disagreement. It’s not so much a disagreement as it is a debate laced with him thinking I’m annoying. Can’t win em all!

When I am going to go get a specialty espresso beverage, I call it “getting a coffee.” If I am having drip coffee at a restaurant or brewing it at home, I call it “having coffee.” But really, even if I go get drip somewhere and bring it home, I say “a coffee.”

This drives Brian insane. He says, “It is just coffee!!! There is no 'a' in there!” I clearly disagree. If I am ordering a prissy drink like a 2 pump pumpkin spice Americano with room… that isn't coffee, it is a coffee drink. I feel sort of bad that it annoys him, since I don’t even know when I say it. Except that I don’t feel bad at all due to the fact that I’m right.

Look! It's Brian with "A coffee."

Can I get some input here? Am I a crazy person for saying “a coffee” when I am referring to Starbucks type coffee bevs?

Even though I annoy Brian, he somehow manages to love me. It must be all that voodoo I did to make him date me. Sometimes he even likes the songs I share with him. So let’s take a cue from Whitney and #backthatazzup. Today calls for some some Betty Who:

Betty Who - Somebody Loves You by Betty Who on Grooveshark

You can download some free Betty Who here! I am currently obsessed.

Bikes, floaties and fomo.

2013-09-18T15:06:00.000-07:00

Summer is coming to a close and once again, I missed out on some major things. Not things that can be made up for either. Once a year stuff! It is like I have Portlander fomo. Let’s review some facts. Summer in Portland is awesome! Temperatures are steady and comfortable, it isn't humid and the city takes full advantage! We have festivals, brewfests, outdoor concerts, you name it. Don’t get me wrong, I did plenty of fun summer stuff. BUT there are some things that happen in Portland that I have always wanted to do, yet have never made happen.

1. Bridge pedal. Bridge pedal happens every year and somehow I miss it every. single. year. It happens in August and looks just lovely! You get to bike over the bridges, they close the roads (and freeway) for you and you experience the best views of the city. Yet, I have never been able to make it happen. It should basically be illegal that I have never done it. Oh well… until next year.

2. The Big Float. This is another PDX event that happens once a year. I mean, they have only done it twice… but I have effectively missed both. This is probably one of the coolest Portland things that happens. Period. Yes, the festivals are cool and stuff, but getting on your floatie and taking over the Willamette in the middle of your beautiful city on a hot summer day?! Yes please! Again… until next year.

Although I missed these two events and they have made a home on my bucket list, I am thrilled that is almost fall. I have already started using pumpkin and marinara in my foods. Don’t worry, I don’t mix them together.

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On a scale between normal and "Kim Kardashian cry face."

2013-09-09T15:52:00.000-07:00

I read Thought Catalog, and you probably do too... But I still had to share this! You guys, this is a real (accurate to life) scale.

It is a little bit difficult to imagine being in "hurts worst" pain while looking at pictures of the James Van Der Beek and Kim Kardashian cry faces. Please read the text under 5-6 before softly sobbing into your overpriced americano. Oh you had time to make coffee? Good for you.

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Notes for the needy.

2013-08-30T11:41:00.001-07:00

I just have a couple notes to share today. I feel that it is my duty to offer advice to those in need. I am a crazy good humanitarian.

Lamar,

I heard about the DUI arrest. Our mutual friend, the internet, has been talking about it. Come on Lamar! Don’t you know that you are my favorite Kardashian person? I am sad that you are having a rough time right now. I know it is probably stressful to be a free agent and that you may be feeling a little bit depressed and out of control. I know it was really hard for you emotionally when you were playing like crap for the Mavericks. I get it Lamar, life is tough sometimes. BUT I really think you can make it through.

Why? Because of this:
You are a 6’10” man. You are worth a bazillion* dollars. Your wife is hilarious and crazy rich. Basketball isn't everything. Know what else isn't everything? Substance abuse. Just cool it! hugs not drugs Lammy. Hugs. Not. Drugs.

XOXO,
Your local D.A.R.E representative

*this is an estimate

Miley,

Yeah, that was gross on Sunday. Liam’s poor parents. I also feel sad for you. Mostly because your mom was clapping… So maybe this really isn't your fault after all? BUT do you know what is your fault? Your filthy tongue.

I am personally not that upset over your performance. Honestly, I had my eyes closed through most of it. I just couldn't look. But you know what I did see? I saw your dirty tongue. Brush that thing before you put it out on display for the world to see on national television. Get a tongue scraper maybe? I bet they have them at your dentist, probably even at your local Walgreens*. I am surprised your mic didn't quit working from your toxic breath. I just assume your breath was toxic due to the sight of your white tongue.

XOXO,
4 out of 5 dentists

*not confirmed

TGIF and Happy Labor Day weekend folks!

Let’s talk about weddings.

2013-08-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

At one point, Brian came to town and we did the wedding thang again. (I am losing track of time and weddings at this point) Basically we are professional wedding goers. Just part of the deal when you are in your 20s! But a wedding sure makes for a fun (free) date. Dinner, drinks, dancing? Yes please! Plus the romance is built in. Guys have it super easy in the summer. No effort necessary. Just put on a nice shirt and show up, and then they get credit for the date. Not too shabby! I don’t have any specific opinions about this, I just wanted to point it out. Other activities that have recently happened in my life include: blading on the Eastbank and drinking pretty coffee.

At a wedding! What else!?

A perfect photo bomb by Tyler!

The group! Photo by Jess

I am currently in Sunriver (cheating on Black Butte). And I went to another wedding last weekend. I’ll probably post about both of these things in due time! Later gators!

Libby in L.A. (and some celeb stalking)

2013-08-16T13:35:00.001-07:00

Libby moved to L.A. She is going to USC to expand her mind in grad school and be her genius self!

One time we had a par-tay to say goodbye:

Just getting in some last minute gossip. FYI: This is a picture of a Polaroid! Martha brought a Polaroid camera for some photo fun.

Then Lib started texting us from her new home. She is taking Hollywood VERY seriously. Celeb sightings will probably take precedence over studying. Actually, I bet she will sit at Kate Summerville (multiple locations) so much (aka missing class) just to see if she can spot Lauren Conrad! Obviously LC will remember her, they already met once before. Although, she probably remembers me better, she DID compliment my outfit after all.

Here is some of the gold we have received thus far:

This is obviously Mario Lopez being his smoking hot AC Slater self. Just taping Extra at The Grove!...so people like Libby can creep on him.

I'm sorry you just wasted your time reading this waste of a post! TGIF.

Elephants and Jessie Spano.

2013-08-13T16:26:00.000-07:00

I wish I had pictures of Jessie Spano on an Elephant. But alas, this is not nearly as cool as that!

The good thing about living your life and not posting for 2 weeks, is that you actually have some stuff to post when you decide to start again! Crazy. How do people do this every day? Their lives must be far more exciting than my own. I actually have stuff on file for later! I think this is the first time that has ever happened to me.

The news in the neighborhood is this: Elephants has opened! Think delicious food, grab and go treats, a full bar, Stumptown coffee… etc. And it is a couple blocks from my home. This is going to be amazing for my life and terrible for my budget. When I saw that they were open, my response was similar to Jessie Spano on Caffeine pills. “I’m so excited! I’m so excited!... I’m so…SCARED!” Excited for the food, scared for my wallet.

Friendship Frittata at Elephants on Corbett! It isn't actually called that, but it should be.

Big thanks to Jessie Spano for perfectly articulating how I feel:

Elephants (not the animal), if you read this and want to give me free stuff, please email me. I would jump at the chance to sell out! Especially if mac and cheese or Mama Leone’s soup is promised.

Elephants (the animal), If you read this, congrats! You can read! That is crazy. I thought you were only good at painting. Please forgive my ignorance. Do you want to come be my pet? Simply buy me a house with a big backyard first. You also need to hire a wrangler and a poop scooper. That is not something I will be doing.

Summer rain and real life.

2013-08-01T14:55:00.000-07:00

Long time no post!

I have been busy enjoying the sunshine! But today it rained for the first time in a month. Oh my gosh the rain smelled so good! I know that is weird, but the smell of summer rain is one of my favorite things! Not candles that are scented as summer rain. Those usually smell disgusting. Like how “cotton” scent exists… basically, it is dryer sheet sent as a candle. Ummm… no thanks. So please fans, do not read this and send me a bunch of “summer rain” scented stuff. Do you like how I just pretended to have fans that want to send me stuff!? HA. Yeah right.

I really have nothing else to say. Which is weird, since I haven’t posted in a million years. But whatevs! I’m enjoying my summer and I hope you are too! I’m headed out of town again, so let’s lower our posting expectations shall we? Do you like how I just pretended people have expectations!? I'm hilarious today.

Anywho, real life trumps internet life. Always! Deal with it.

Boyfriend Blunders

2013-07-23T10:12:00.000-07:00

Over dinner and drinks the other day, a few of my friends shared some hilarious “excuse me!?” moments that happened in their relationships. Today I will be sharing three direct quotes from loving boyfriends.

This is what we looked like as we told these stories! You can decide who they were...

“You’re the prettiest girl in the city.”

I see where this was trying to be a compliment… but JUST the city!? Her response was, “The city of Salem!?” She is not even living in the largest city in the state right now. Doesn't he know that the world was an option? Come on bro!

“That skirt makes you look fatter than you are.”

I also understand how this was an “almost compliment.” I just urge all humans to refrain from using the word fat when talking about or to a woman. Girls know how to be honest with their friends by saying things like, “It’s not super flattering” or “It isn't my favorite.” Take a cue from us, and just drop the word fat altogether.

A follow up to that “compliment?” was this:

“If you keep eating that, you really will get fat.”

Okay, this one is just too much! He is saying that she ISN'T fat. So that is a positive. But really, if she wants to indulge, just let her do it! Sometimes ladies just really need to eat entire box of Annie’s mac and cheese! Only me? Damn. At least it’s organic. But again, let’s just leave the word “fat” out of the equation.

So there you have it folks! Some recent flubs from the male species. I hope they have learned their lesson. Maybe read this post to any men in your life, so they can learn from the mistakes of others.

I could be Kathie Lee.

2013-07-18T11:55:00.000-07:00

Thankfully, I have read a million posts about how hard it is to blog in the summer. It is so tough! So thank you for the posts. It re-assures me that I am not a crazy lazy person.

On to today’s post, that happens to be about the Today Show.

I love Kathie Lee and Hoda and I am unashamed. I think they are hilarious! I started watching them in college after my early classes. Because really, what are you going to do at that weird time of the morning? Duh, watch 4th hour of Today and then watch Regis and Kelly. I loved that these shows would throw a teensy bit of real news in with their amazingly hilarious host chat. Otherwise, they would mainly discuss news that I find pertinent, celeb gossip and scandals, before moving on to awesome segments about new shows, movies and books. Or seasonal segments about beauty, fashion or food.

Basically, I feel like I could do this job. And I think I could do it well. I am aware that I would be in the Kathie Lee role, the overly honest, semi-inappropriate for network TV, lots of laughter and crazy facial expressions, host role. Don’t worry guys, I already have a Hoda. Marina is subtly ethnic, has knowledge of the real issues, loves music and secretly loves the nonsense!

I MEAN!! HELLOOOOOOO!!!!

Plus, we both love wine. Ahhh wine.

If you don’t watch them now, as I assume you don’t because of work, you wouldn't know that they are doing a “find our college counterparts” search. I am devastated that this search is happening at a time that I am no longer eligible. RUDE! This contest would be in the bag! I still watch their host chat and selected segments online when I can. Yes, that is how much I love them.

Dear KLG and Hoda,

Let me be part of this contest? Or at least agree to grab a drink with me!? I will fly all the way to NYC for it!
Love, Laura

This is when they lost it doing a story about gas.

See ya later!!

Antone Shenanigans

2013-07-15T10:12:00.000-07:00

I spent an amazing weekend at the Antone Ranch! I don’t know how to describe how crazy wonderful this place is! It is a 40,000 acre ranch in central Oregon. Last year I described it as a cross between Jurassic Park, Indiana Jones, Hey Dude, Wildhorse Canyon and Disneyland. We barrel around the curvy rocky roads in jeeps, ride horses, shoot guns, boat, eat, play, pray and camp. And by camp, I mean glamp. That is glam camping. There are beds in the tents… so the word camping is quite misleading.

A line-up of our weekend transportation! You know we took those bad boys through creeks!

Sunrise

So country!

Everyone likes boats and sunshine! Not to discount the wakeboarding and tubing!!

Sunset from the fire tower

No filter!

I am majorly sore and tired from such an awesome weekend! I’m sure you all feel super bad for me. I hope your weekends were equally amazing!