Back Yard Blog

Gone Bartending

2011-06-03T13:35:00.000-05:00

Bartending again today. Here's a drinking song.

What’s Trendy?

2011-06-01T14:00:00.000-05:00

Today’s top trending topic is a new HIV drug, Edurant, from Johnson & Johnson that is said to be able to stop the virus from reproducing. It’s even said to be 83% effective at reducing viral levels, which is only 17% less effective than whatever the hell the government gave Magic Johnson and Tommy Morrison. So it looks like we’re at least one step closer to the good old USA giving us the cure for

Frankly, I'd Rather Have My Skull Bashed In

2011-06-01T13:50:00.000-05:00

I know a lot of Mavericks fans are upset today and I certainly understand that.They’ve been waiting five years for a win in the NBA Finals and came up short last night but I know how they feel. I’ve been waiting two and a half months for Franklin and Bash and thus far I’ve gotten zilch. But that all ends tonight.Tonight we embark upon a journey into TNT’s story of two devil may care lawyers that

YouTube Video of the Day

2011-06-01T13:45:00.000-05:00

You know just the other day I was lamenting that not enough collared shirts have pockets anymore and then this company goes out and raises the bar altogether. Not only do they include a pocket but it also keeps my beer cold? Sign me up!

And He's Still a Dick

2011-06-01T13:40:00.000-05:00

Oddly enough, the hardest posts to fill on the blog are about celebrities. I know we think that at any given time there’s a sensational story about a drunk or high celeb hitting bottom but mostly it’s just TMZ falling them around doing nothing. Then there’s Andy Dick. I could easily have a story once a week about Andy Dick getting drunk or high and sexually assaulting someone, male or female. He’

Save A Horse, Ride A Broomstick

2011-06-01T13:35:00.001-05:00

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economyI feel bad for these rodeo girls that they can’t get out in the dirt and show their stuff but I think riding a stick horse is about the most insanely idiotic things I’ve seen since Billy Madison tried to compare The Puppy Who Lost His Way to the Industrial Revolution.Do you think the judges were just screwing with them? That

FML Moment of the Day

2011-06-01T13:30:00.000-05:00

Today, I was catching the bus to my new job. While waiting at the lights, I decided to play the staring game and ended up staring at a woman in the car next to the bus for ages, really creeping her out. It turns out she's my new boss. FML

You Can't Beat the Rat Race at This Bar

2011-06-01T13:20:00.000-05:00

Bar busted for running mouse races By Mary Wisniewski/REUTERS DES MOINES, Iowa - The owner of a tavern in a small town in the state of Iowa who said he ran mouse races on Sundays for fun, was cited by local police for allowing patrons to bet on the rodent running.“It’s a blast,” said Scott Beach, 49, who ran the mouse races at the Bucktail Lodge in Danville. “The state’s taking the fun out of it.

Wal Mart Person of the Day

2011-06-01T13:15:00.000-05:00

He must have come up with some underboob loot.

White Straightjacket Comedy Tour

2011-06-01T13:10:00.000-05:00

With only a handful of games remaining in the NBA Playoffs people are finally starting to come to grips with the prospect that the NBA will realistically join the NFL in having a talent lockout this offseason.Players are starting to chirp about the prospect of a lockout and what the possible ramifications of such a labor move would be. Most of these guys don’t have a whole lot of other skills. I

What's Trendy?

2011-05-31T14:00:00.000-05:00

Today’s top trending topic is Nick Lachey who got married Sunday to Vanessa Minnillo, a TV actress hottie that has done some guest spots on ‘How I Met Your Mother’ and ’30 Rock.’ Nick is my favorite former boy bander and would have definitely been part of my entourage if I ever made it to Hollywood. Me, Nick, Rick Fox and Ric Flair. Now that’s an entourage you can’t screw with. Oddly enough

SWEATing the inVESTigation - Tressel Resigns as OSU Coach

2011-05-31T13:50:00.000-05:00

Who didn’t see this one coming?After many months of steamrolling revelations that what was once considered to be an isolated incident of six college football players swapping some jerseys for tattoos was actually a near decade-long series of improper benefits and cover-ups, Jim Tressel is out at Ohio State. Tressel’s decision to resign (which was about as voluntary as Old Yeller’s decision to be

YouTube Video of the Day

2011-05-31T13:45:00.000-05:00

Did this guy just forget he was on TV for about five seconds? Buddy this isn’t dress rehearsal for your sixth grade play, it’s the news.

Spanking the Competition (and helpless women)

2011-05-31T13:40:00.001-05:00

In the last half-century we’ve seen corporal punishment make its way almost completely out of schools and churches and its use severely reduced in the home. But one area where spanking seems to be making a comeback – the restaurant business. Virginia Beach restaurateur Henry Fitzsimmons has been charged with multiple accounts of sexual assault after allegedly forcing or coercing five women into

They’re Playing Basketball!

2011-05-31T13:35:00.000-05:00

So after what seems like six months we’ve finally reached the NBA Finals. I don’t have much to say about this series. I’m sure it will be exciting but I’ve pretty much become the wet blanket of basketball talk since Jim Buss seems determined to ruin the lives of every Laker fan.As much as I’m sick of seeing happy Mavericks fans jumping around while I’m miserable I’d pull for them against any part

FML Moment of the Day

2011-05-31T13:30:00.000-05:00

Today, I was walking through town when a rough looking woman asked me for a cigarette. I don't smoke but I offered her some apples, and she took two. As I continued on past her, she pegged both of them at me, hitting the back of my head. FML

You Got Pac’ed!

2011-05-31T13:25:00.002-05:00

There are tons of conspiracy theories in the world. Most are about the government, aliens or President Obama but some are even about hip-hop. Most notably there are still many who believe Tupac Shakur is still alive and if you read PBS’ website Monday you would have thought the rumors were true.A hacker group called The Lulz Boat hacked PBS’ website and posted a story about the late rapper being

Wal Mart Person of the Day

2011-05-31T13:15:00.001-05:00

How bout you Sideburns, you want some of this milk?

Jackpot Meats Jackass

2011-05-31T13:10:00.000-05:00

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economyHas there ever been a better example of the bad apple that spoiled it for the whole bunch? This is the kind of abuse conservatives can easily point to when they want to point out how awfully the government operates and how the poor and lazy are getting a free ride in a fancy car. It’s like the time MTV went with Old Dirty

Hey Bartender!

2011-05-27T13:30:00.001-05:00

I'm bartending again today as I still haven't received tribute from any of you. If you want any of my comedic ramblings you can come tip me at Grant Street Bar & Grill in Downtown Odessa. I get off at 6.Just to give you something to get by I'll leave you with a bartending song and a really interesting read about Macho Man Randy Savage and his first love - baseball.

What’s Trendy?

2011-05-26T14:00:00.001-05:00

Today’s top trending topic is McDonald’s and its decision to switch from Italian-flavored chicken in its chicken sandwich to a “more neutral flavor” that uses French seasoning. This decision comes only weeks after McDonald’s announcement that they are in the beginning stages of a $1 billion dollar process of making their stores look more upscale. Jim Carras, senior vice president of domestic

Pint Sized Patriot is Big Time Mad

2011-05-26T13:50:00.001-05:00

One thing I learned while covering Tech football is to watch what you wrote about Wes Welker or his friends. He tends to hold a grudge.And the NFL owners have just climed their way to the top of his shit list. At an event for kids in Oklahoma City Welker quipped that he was enjoying his time off from football and they should have a lockout every year. It was clearly a joke but in this

YouTube Video of the Day

2011-05-26T13:45:00.000-05:00

You may all remember the 1980s Wendy's training videos that I posted shortly before and after the dark months when the BYB was discontinued. Well, here's another one that features a song sure to get stuck in your head. "Chili Can Be Served With Cheese!"

This Tiger is Still Intimidating

2011-05-26T13:40:00.000-05:00

There were a lot of golfers when they showed up to the course and heard there was a Tiger on the prowl. But that course was not the TPC Las Colinas in Irving, the home of the Byron Nelson Championship. And that tiger was not Tiger Woods, it was a real tiger…well at least they thought it was.A golf course in Hampshire, U.K. was on high alert last weekend when a white tiger was spotted near a golf

Buy Me Some Bacon and Cracker Jacks?

2011-05-26T13:35:00.000-05:00

There’s nothing like a baseball game. The crack of the bat, the feel of the hot sun on your face, the taste of a cold beer and peanuts, and the smell of the bacon?Kevin Bacon that is.Bacon, the star of ‘Footloose’ appeared Tuesday at Bacon Night, a promotion by the Virginia Pork Industry Board at the Richmond Flying Squirrels game. The Flying Squirrels are the AA affiliate of the San Francisco