Last week I had a great lunch with some blogging friends and Chris Byrne, The Toy Guy. The topic of conversation eventually turned to moms and reviews and giveaways. We all agreed on this basic truth: Your reputation in blogging is all you really have. Being a somewhat anonymous venue it is hard sometimes to remember that everything you do and say contributes to that reputation whether positively or negatively. But at the end of the day and all the SEO and traffic tricks out there, if people don’t trust you the gig is up.

So, how do you focus on being trust worthy?

• Be consistent with your social media. Your personality on your blog should be YOU and YOU should be YOU across all venues. Don’t fall victim to multiple blogger personality syndrome.
• If you take a PR opp, DO IT! Sadly it doesn’t always happen. Communicate with the PR Rep if you are having issues getting an opp done. They are depending on you but they also understand that we are moms first. Communicating is really all they ask.
• Make sure any sponsored posts or ads fit into your value system and personality of your blog.
• Take giveaways seriously. Get your winner their prizes asap.
• Manage your offline personality. There shouldn’t be any separation in this day and age. Choices you make in real life will affect your online reputation.
• Being real doesn’t mean being nasty (unless you really are). Also, if you get a product to review don’t write something fabulous if you don’t mean it. Talk about the pros and cons of products. No one will be believe you if everything you write about is the most fabulous thing on earth.
• Write reviews about stuff you pay for too (I said too because there is nothing wrong with getting things for review).

Bottom line is that your readers (and PR reps) have a lot of options on where they can go. Be real, genuine, and trustworthy and you will be around a long time

Ah, the mystery, the allure, the exclusivity, the food I sent back. WHAT? OK, yes, I did not like my order of monk fish and they noticed, took it back and brought me mac&cheese. Does it make me sound classier if I say it was “Truffle Mac&Cheese”?

Club 33 is a private club inside Disneyland. There are many stories about the who, what, when, where and why’s behind Walt’s creation of Club 33. It is a legendary place among Disney fans and it is rare to get the opportunity to visit. The general consensus is that Club 33 was opened by Walt as a place to entertain the original 33 investors of Disneyland. However, it says on the menus that is named simply because of its address. Believe what you will. It is the only place within the main (old) park that serves alcohol to this day. It is said the waitlist for membership is about 15 years long. The fee’s are quite steep. Most families that I know who have had the chance to visit work for one of the companies that have a corporate membership.

So, what is a visit to Club 33 really like and what is the hype all about?

You start your day by going to guest services outside of the park. You pick up day passes for your family to the park. These don’t have your name on it and since we had park hopper tickets that came with our package, we walked up to a family that was in line to give them away. If I had known they wouldn’t have our names on them I would have totally had my friend Laura come visit. SORRY LAURA! The attendant at the ticket area saw me trying to give the tickets away and was all “you can’t sell tickets” and I was all “not selling, just giving them away”. He was all “well, you can’t do that either”. What a *&^*(^! Bob went the other way and found a family. They were so surprised. We felt all warm and gooey inside.

So, you have a reservation for Club33 that is a specific time. DO NOT attempt to get in 5 mins early. Trust me. I know. I was informed of this by the lady inside. There is a little speak easy type box inside the door frame of 33. You push it and tell them your name. Just don’t do it before your appointed time or you will get swallowed up by a big rabbit hole that transports you to Small World and makes you ride it over and over again.

If you don’t fall down the rabbit hole the lady lets you in. You have the choice to go up to this lift that they make a big deal about. It was pretty. Whatev. I am not really into stuff like that. If you are in a wheelchair you get to go in a special entrance. You get the privilege of going through the Cafe kitchen across the way. You get to experience all the sights, sounds and smells of the dishwashing area of a cafeteria. It is a privilege indeedy.

Anywho, once your family gets to the second floor you are seated. We went for a late lunch. They ask you to order the entree and you get to go to the buffet for both appetizers and dessert. With the exception of the crab, shrimp and rock lobster tails all the food on the buffet we had already seen at the Paradise Pier concierge room. It is the same stuff.

At first we were all really nervous because you hear so much about how fabulous this place is. I warned the kids not to breathe wrong! Being nervous was unnecessary though. Our waitress was very sweet and very accommodating. She saw that I didn’t eat the monk fish I ordered and offered me something else. I asked for the same mac and cheese the kids had. It was yummy. I don’t know why I didn’t like the meal. There was nothing wrong with it. I just did not like it.

Bob and ordered a bottle of wine. I LOVED the balcony. It was the best part. It was a beautiful day and the views are really pretty from out there through the trees. It was a very relaxing oasis on a crazy Sat. at Disney.

Your bill has to be equal to what the tickets for the day would have cost you. So it is a pretty pricey meal. That’s it.

There is a small cabinet that sells souvenirs. Apparently the merchandise in the cabinet changes frequently. It is stuff like golf shirts, pens and rings. We didn’t get anything.

You leave the sanctuary of Club 33 and join the masses. The craziness is a little disorienting (or was that the wine) of becoming one of the ‘regular people’ visiting Disney that day.

I was really glad we finally went. We have talked about going since the kids were little and we knew we had the option. But I am really glad we waited til the boys were older and had more experience eating in ‘fancier’ restaurants. I don’t think the food was any more impressive than your run of the mill upscale restaurant. There are a ton of antiques that were completely lost on the boys. If we could just order a bottle of wine and sit out on the patio I would consider going back but barring that I doubt we would. It is nice to say you have been but not necessarily something you need to do twice.

Here are some insider photos for all of you still curious

We are back from the 5 day mouse extravaganza. Photos, tips and a cool look at Disneyland’s Club33 coming at you in the near future.

I didn’t post yesterday cause, well, to be honest I didn’t feel like it. If you missed my PR Monday posting, I would suggest that you read Darren Rowse’s article on Turning Annoying Pitches into Opportunity. He said exactly what I was thinking, only much better.

Speaking of not feeling like posting. I have the blogging blues. I have had them before but this time it is different. I need to change. For my sanity and my kids. The kiddos are getting very sensitive to the stuff I have posted about them. I totally understand. We live in a day where if your mom blogs your entire school could end up reading about all the problems you had potty training (no, you can’t find that here). Plus, I find that I have a lot more to say these days. Repeat, I have a lot more to say. They don’t. They want me to shut up and stop embarrassing them. Well, Carter still likes the Carterism’s section but I have to wonder how much longer that will last….

I want to expand my wings, be funnier, freer, a little more controversial (not much but I have opinions ya know?). So, do I re-brand and start over?  just remove the stuff the kids want gone and stay here? stop blogging? honestly would anyone care if I did stop (not fishing for compliments, ok, well maybe a little ego boosting wouldn’t hurt)? My head hurts from all this wondering what to do….give me some advice please!

Last week I complained about irrelevant pitches and why I think bloggers should start using the NO word. I got a few emails. Just a few but enough to make me want to clarify the difference in my mind (which is a scary place to be) and when the situation warrants you charging.

I want you to say NO when you are being used for free advertising with no personal gain to you.

I do not charge for every pitch I do! If someone approaches me with a pitch that is relevant to my blog, I am interested in or truly think you would be, I happily accept it. NO CHARGE. That is PR! That is the two way street “Win-Win” I am always preaching about here. Kinds of pitches that fall into that category for Elementary Spirits: educational games, science info,  and experiences I can share.

BUT, if I am approached with a pitch that is irrelevant, I am not interested in and I know you wouldn’t be either than in my way of thinking they are asking to use my platform to spread their advertising. That is when I would charge! Kinds of pitches that fall into this category for me are:” tell your readers about our contest” and “our newest product that has nothing to do with families.”

I just want to add in that there is absolutely a way to work with PR organically and not sacrifice your blog space. I have long said I do a ton of movie reviews. I love movies and only review ones that I would go out and buy so to me that is on “Win-Win” street. Take a look at how I incorporated the movie into this post. Brilliant if I do say so myself. OK, maybe not brilliant but you get the point that I incorporated it into my normal blog flow.

It’s a balancing act but put  simply: PR benefits my blog and friends, advertising benefits only my bank account. Make sense?

This morning I asked Bob to teach Con how to shave using a razor. Connor has been shaving at least a year now but uses an electric shaver. I have asked him all week to shave and his response is that he can’t find his razor since we redid everything downstairs.

So, I have had enough of that and informed Bob that he needs to teach his son to use a razor so there are no excuses anymore. I threw in the line “…and teach Carter too, he really needs to start shaving” (although I really only want him to use an electric one at this point). Carter, who has super hero hearing if his name is mentioned and is deaf any other time, yells….”NO! I am not shaving my manstache“. I answer, “oh, yes you are, we told you and your brother no facial hair to you are at least 16” (Connor can’t anyway for highschool) Carter’s response…

“That is not fair. You get to have a mustache”

*sigh*

Want to feel young again? Get some tickets to go see the Eagles. I guarantee if you are under 50 you will feel like a child again.

More than half the people rockin the Mosh Pit (so 80’s of me) had walkers or canes.

OK, maybe I am exaggerating a teensy bit but not all that much, I swear.

I knew I was in trouble when the woman next to me started air guitaring. No kidding. This at least 60 year old lady who looked so conservative she might be trying for a seat on Supreme Court starts friggin’ air guitaring. She was wearing an outfit straight out of the Talbots conservative line.  I about spit my drink out it was so hilarious. But that would have been a waste of a good margarita and my conscious just couldn’t allow it.

Don Henley will be 63 this summer. Madonna is 50. Crap, even Jon Bon Jovi is pushing 50.

I don’t know if other people play this little mind trick on themselves but I do. I still see myself as a teenager (hence the limited amounts of mirrors I look in). Therefore, all of my favorite  musicians should be too. Do you do that? or am I the only weird one who thinks time is standing still?

I knew it was all going to hell in a hand-basket when Kid Rock incorporated Sweet Home Alabama as a days gone by song. He is a year younger than me.

and speaking volumes of the age of the crowd last night, when I left I got a coupon to see

We are going to see U2 in a few weeks. I am thinking about borrowing one of Carters wheelchairs just so I fit in

Sadly it seems that the middle ground for the pitches I receive is rapidly disappearing. I either get really, really great pitches or really, really bad ones. This is one of those that falls in the really bad category. I want to share it with some of you to show WHY I think this is a pitch that most people should pass on. I know when you are new to this you get all bubbly when a PR firm picks you and it is easy to get tricked into taking all the pitches that come your way. So lets dissect this one and if you still think it is worth your time at the end that is OK! We all have our things we will work for peanuts for. Just be educated about when you are doing it.

Hi, I have an item that you may like for your Blog. Blah Blah Company (I changed the name), a leading provider of school uniforms, this week launched a $15,000 contest in which kids who attend a school that has a dress code can show the world what makes them unique and special. The contest is titled, “Blah Blah Contest,” and it is designed to provide a forum for kids to express their individuality. Kids and their parents can enter the contest by visiting www.blahblah.com and following the instructions regarding submitting a video or essay along with pictures. The final day to submit an entry is September 15.

OK, so lets look at this in specific regards to me. I HOMESCHOOL. Now, I do say that my older one is going to Catholic school next year so maybe that was their thought but he has a liberal dress code so right off the bat I am not interested.

The link above? Right now has a google page rank of 0 and an alexa rank in the 4 millions.

On November 1, Blah Blah  will be posting the 10 finalists and the public will be able to vote for the grand prize winner – who will win $10,000 in cash and their school will receive $5,000 in vouchers from Blah Blah. The grand prize winner will be announced on November 30.

More than 1 in 5 public schools now have a dress code, and that’s on top of the many private, parochial and charter schools that have dress codes. Please let me know if you need any additional information, or if you’d like to speak to someone at Blah Blah.

As part of this outreach to parents and kids, Blah Blah is looking for 25 Blah Blah Brand Ambassadors (the first 25 who respond in the affirmative), who will help make moms and kids aware of the contest. As a Blah Blah Brand Ambassador, we will expect:

OK, this is where is gets good. Ready?

–         A total of three mentions/discussions of the contest – 1) A mention of the contest on your blog during the first two weeks of the contest, a follow-on mention/discussion in June, and a third in September.

–         At least two mentions – 1 in May and another in June – of our contest to your followers and fans on Twitter and Facebook

So, they want a total of three blog posts and 2 mentions to my social networks. Lets do the math. I get at least $10 for each ‘commercial’ tweet I send through Sponsored Tweets (referral link) So, I could make $20 for those two social network contacts leaving me $30 to run 3 posts on my blog.

We have established that this blog is not really the most organic place for this so these posts fall into ‘advertising’ in my book. Depending on which blog, time of year and my schedule I charge anywhere from $100-$300 for a sponsored post, usually around $250. I know putting my rates out there may be silly but honestly new bloggers need to know that $10 a post is INSANE. $10 for a tweet–sure, not bad, but a mention in a post? No freakin’ way. I should say, I can get that on some of my niche blogs (and I really don’t post advertorials here) but in talking with other bloggers I have found out their rates are $30-$75 per 300 word post. I, also, want to clarify that this is for a post that is ‘advertising’ not a product review or editorial for something that is organic to your blog. I don’t charge beyond the product for those.

In return, Blah Blah will provide a reciprocal link to your site on the Blahblah.com site and a $50 gift certificate after your last posting in September.

A link? On a PR 0 site? Oh yeah….I covered that above.

That giftcard? Given the average mark-up of 43% for family clothing they are really paying you $28.50 that you can only spend in their store. That $5.70 for your five points of contact. Minimum wage in my state is currently $7.24. Granted those 5 points of contact are probably not going to take you 5 hours. It took you a hell of a lot longer than that if you figure in the time you put building your blog audience and social networks. To essentially have a company come bless you with the opportunity to use your platform for less than minimum wage.
Sadly, I am sure they were flooded with responses. Mine was this:

Thanks for your pitch. However, you do realize you are compensating bloggers less than $10 per post…

I currently charge $250 for a featured post on my tween blog in cash, not a gift card to the company. Thanks

Something interesting: I did a quick scan and according to PayScale.com the average full time journalist position in the US pays $26,000-$47,000 a year. If you go on the low side of $30,000 a year and you post 350 times that year you would be making $85 a post. Even if you aren’t interested in being a full time blogger, you are a media source! You are a journalist.

Mom-101 wrote a great post about this as well. I hope you go read it. For some reason I can’t link direct to her post but right now it is the third one down.

We all do things to get “in” with a company but take it from me, the pitches from these companies don’t tend to get better.

I will leave you with this….

you work really hard on your blog, don’t let someone take advantage of you!

Since we are all working on our own, I think it really helps to know what average rates are. I would love it if you shared yours below or any other thoughts on this.

Carter to Dad:

What is a housewife?

Sad thing? Neither of us had a clue how to explain that. Best example I could come up with in modern culture? Marge Simpson.

I am not posting a PR Monday post today because I found this instead and as I am typing tears are running down my face. I didn’t have a particularly fabulous Mothers Day. It wasn’t for lack of trying on my husbands side. It was teenage drama and lots of work. But when I opened my feeds this AM, Laura’s post just struck me as something I needed to share as a belated mothers day to all the Mothers in the Children With Special Needs Sorority. I hope every mom out there had a wonderful day and to my special ’sisters’ I hope this brings you happy tears.

To You, My Sisters
By Maureen K. Higgins

Many of you I have never even met face to face, but I’ve searched you out every day. I’ve looked for you on the internet, on playgrounds and in grocery stores.

I’ve become an expert at identifying you. You are well worn. You are stronger than you ever wanted to be. Your words ring with experience, experience you culled with your very heart and soul. You are compassionate beyond the expectations of this world. You are my “sisters.”

Yes, you and I, my friend, are sisters in a sorority. A very elite sorority. We are special. Just like any other sorority, we were chosen to be members. Some of us were invited to join immediately, some not for months or even years. Some of us even tried to refuse membership, but to no avail.

We were initiated in neurologist’s offices and NICU units, in obstetrician’s offices, in emergency rooms, and during ultrasounds. We were initiated with somber telephone calls, consultations, evaluations, blood tests, x-rays, MRI films, and heart surgeries.

All of us have one thing in common. One day things were fine. We were pregnant, or we had just given birth, or we were nursing our newborn, or we were playing with our toddler. Yes, one minute everything was fine. Then, whether it happened in an instant, as it often does, or over the course of a few weeks or months, our entire lives changed. Something wasn’t quite right. Then we found ourselves mothers of children with special needs.

We are united, we sisters, regardless of the diversity of our children’s special needs. Some of our children undergo chemotherapy. Some need respirators and ventilators. Some are unable to talk, some are unable to walk. Some eat through feeding tubes. Some live in a different world. We do not discriminate against those mothers whose children’s needs are not as “special” as our child’s. We have mutual respect and empathy for all the women who walk in our shoes.

We are knowledgeable. We have educated ourselves with whatever materials we could find. We know “the” specialists in the field. We know “the” neurologists, “the” hospitals, “the” wonder drugs, “the” treatments. We know “the” tests that need to be done, we know “the” degenerative and progressive diseases and we hold our breath while our children are tested for them. Without formal education, we could become board certified in neurology, endocrinology, and physiatry.

We have taken on our insurance companies and school boards to get what our children need to survive, and to flourish. We have prevailed upon the State to include augmentative communication devices in special education classes and mainstream schools for our children with cerebral palsy. We have labored to prove to insurance companies the medical necessity of gait trainers and other adaptive equipment for our children with spinal cord defects. We have sued municipalities to have our children properly classified so they could receive education and evaluation commensurate with their diagnosis.

We have learned to deal with the rest of the world, even if that means walking away from it. We have tolerated scorn in supermarkets during “tantrums” and gritted our teeth while discipline was advocated by the person behind us in line. We have tolerated inane suggestions and home remedies from well-meaning strangers. We have tolerated mothers of children without special needs complaining about chicken pox and ear infections. We have learned that many of our closest friends can’t understand what it’s like to be in our sorority, and don’t even want to try.

We have our own personal copies of Emily Perl Kingsley’s “A Trip To Holland” and Erma Bombeck’s “The Special Mother.” We keep them by our bedside and read and reread them during our toughest hours.

We have coped with holidays. We have found ways to get our physically handicapped children to the neighbors’ front doors on Halloween, and we have found ways to help our deaf children form the words, “trick or treat.” We have accepted that our children with sensory dysfunction will never wear velvet or lace on Christmas. We have painted a canvas of lights and a blazing yule log with our words for our blind children. We have pureed turkey on Thanksgiving. We have bought white chocolate bunnies for Easter. And all the while, we have tried to create a festive atmosphere for the rest of our family.

We’ve gotten up every morning since our journey began wondering how we’d make it through another day, and gone to bed every evening not sure how we did it.

We’ve mourned the fact that we never got to relax and sip red wine in Italy. We’ve mourned the fact that our trip to Holland has required much more baggage than we ever imagined when we first visited the travel agent. And we’ve mourned because we left for the airport without most of the things we needed for the trip.

But we, sisters, we keep the faith always. We never stop believing. Our love for our special children and our belief in all that they will achieve in life knows no bounds. We dream of them scoring touchdowns and extra points and home runs. We visualize them running sprints and marathons. We dream of them planting vegetable seeds, riding horses and chopping down trees. We hear their angelic voices singing Christmas carols. We see their palettes smeared with watercolors, and their fingers flying over ivory keys in a concert hall. We are amazed at the grace of their pirouettes. We never, never stop believing in all they will accomplish as they pass through this world.

But in the meantime, my sisters, the most important thing we do, is hold tight to their little hands as together, we special mothers and our special children, reach for the stars.

One of my favorite parts of schooling the way we do is that we have the ability to take learning everywhere. Instead of just being limited to reading about things, we have the freedom to experience things up close and personal.

As a former classroom teacher I know how important field trips are. Kids learn by doing, by experiencing, by touching and feeling. Sadly, classroom fieldtrips are one of the first things to get cut with the mighty budget ax.

What I really love about this campaign is that Lunchables is sending my family and one of my readers families on a fieldtrip to the Denver Aquarium.

This is how it is going to work.There are two ways to enter:

1. Watch the video and and then head to Lunchables.com to nominate a classroom. OR
2. Watch the video and think about your favorite fieldtrip moments (yours or the kids)

Leave me a comment stating that you either nominated a classroom OR tell me your fieldtrip story!

You can earn an extra entry by posting this on your FB page or sending one tweet out with the URL to this  contest. Leave me a comment with your ID’s to qualify for those extra entries.

*This is only open to readers over 18 in or around Denver  because you would be responsible for your transportation to the Aquarium. I will bring lunch (Lunchables!) and pay for the admission to the venue using the gift card sent to me from Oscar Mayer.

I am flexible with the date of the fieldtrip so the winner and I can coordinate our schedules to take the trip sometime in the summer. In addition, if the winner would rather attend the Zoo or Museum I am open to that as well. Please know that the winners pictures will likely end up here on the blog without identifying winners kids.

I will close the contest May 20, 2010 at 11:59 PM MST and will contact the winner shortly after.