Backpacks and Books

Welcome to Leah Eades' Official Writer's Site

2012-12-24T14:00:00.000Z

"Backpacks and Books" has really come a long way as a site. What started as a simple student travel blog gradually turned into an online portfolio of my work and then, as my Wordpress blog took on a life of its own, it seemed harder and harder to decide what exactly to do with little old' "Backpacks and Books". Still, it held fast, and now at last its time has come to shine again: "Backpacks and Books" is now my official writer's site.

If you've been directed here then it's probably because I want you to use some of my writing or hire me. So please, feel free to have a browse. You'll find everything you're looking for here, including writing samples, a bio and links to my photography and Twitter.

If you're looking for the content that was here before, try following the links on my "Published Works" page, and you'll find a lot of it is online elsewhere. Some posts, particularly those blogged in real time during my time in China and cycling the Danube, can still be found below for nostalgia' sake.

If you have any questions do not hesitate to get in touch via email, writing to leaheades [@] hotmail.co.uk.

Leah Eades.

Meat & me

2012-03-22T01:21:00.000Z

It's hard to not feel like you're missing out if you don't eat meat on the road...

If my relationship with meat was a facebook status, it would read “It’s complicated…”

It’s sort of hard to explain. I find the following analogy works best: you know how a person can be raised Catholic, but then lose faith? They stop going to Mass, they stop saying their rosaries, they are, to all extents and purposes, not Catholic any more. But still they are haunted by residual Catholic guilt.

Well, I have Vegetarian guilt.

I was vegetarian from the ages of thirteen to nineteen- all of my teenage life. No meat. No fish.Nada. It began mostly because of the animals (I watched Finding Nemo and could never quite shake the feeling that I was eating Nemo), and was helped by the fact that I, unlike the rest of my family, was never much of a meat-eater anyway. I can honestly say that I feel happier and healthier when I’m not eating meat. It seems to suit me well. Meat feels… heavy. And I’ve never liked fish or seafood much anyway, so that was no big loss. Eventually my animal rights-y feelings faded, and it was just a question of habit.

The problem was that, when I was nineteen, I did the typical gap yah thing and buggered off to East Asia and South America. And once I was out there it was just so much easier to eat meat. And it wasn’t just that it was easier: it was part of the experience. I wanted to be eating the meat, and trying the local food. I mean, when would I have the chance to be eating this dish again? Plus, with places like China, there’s going to be some inevitable accidental meat eat-age anyway, so you might as well get stuck in and go the whole hog- or should I say, Peking duck.

Anyhoo, I held out for a month or so, but by the time I returned to the UK, after seven long months, my vegetarianism was well and truly a thing of the past. I was nomming meat with the best of them. I kind of assumed I’d go veggie again once I was home, but then… well, I was back home again with my family for the few months before I started uni, and they all eat meat. It seemed silly to cause a fuss when I’d been happily eating meat the week before.

So, I ate meat with my family. And then I moved to Bristol, and was in charge of my own cooking, and things got complicated…

Three years later, and I’m still vacillating on the border of vegetarianism. I’m a semi-vegetarian. I don’t buy meat. I don’t cook meat. I very rarely order dishes with meat in at a restaurant, but occasionally I will. However, if someone offers me something with meat in, or there’s nothing else available and I’m starving, or I just really fancy it, I cave and eat meat. And then feel the vegetarian guilt.

The main problem is that I have consistently managed to live, and frequently share cooking responsibilities, with very carnivorous men. One of my current housemates is constantly offering me sausage sandwiches and a full English breakfast. Which only a fool would refuse. But it has definitely upped my meat-eating quota considerably.

Plus, there is the niggling feeling now, in the back of my head, that I really am, if I look at it, quite uncomfortable with the meat industry, and also, most likely, the dairy industry too. And that if and when I actually care to think about it properly, I would probably start flirting with a vegan diet- shock horror!

Well, there is some hope. I’ve recently acquired a new, vegetarian housemate, with whom I can cook meals and resist the siren call of bacon. But I’m not going to stress out about it too much. I always feel like I’m a vegetarian really; just a lapsed one. One day, probably sooner rather than later, I’ll be a proper veggie again. And I’ll look back at these student years of meat-eating and laugh at the wild and heady days of my youth.

DANUBE CYCLE TRIP: Days 15-17

2011-09-19T17:35:00.002+01:00

A TRIUMPHANT FEW FINAL DAYS IN BUDAPEST

Quote of the Day:
Random cyclist (as we walk along a cycle path): CYCLISTS ONLY!

Leah: "700KM SAYS I'M A FECKING CYCLIST!"

Bye bye bike!

Our last few days in Budapest alternated between being very lazy and very active. On the first day we went to the old Turkish baths, then fell asleep drinking beer on bean bags. On the second day we got given an epic six hour walking tour of the city by Howard's friend Adam, which, seeing as Adam could only speak Hungarian and German, pushed Howard's translation skills to the limit- excellent practice for after graduation. On the third day we went to the massive Szechenyi Thermal Baths, and I made the difficult but correct decision to leave my bicycle in Budapest, next to a massive fountain on Magit-sziget, a small island full of greenery and parkland in the middle of the Danube, in the north of Budapest. I like to think of it as leaving the bike to a well-earned retirement. I can see it now, rolling down the river, taking in the sunsets... Truly, t'was a noble steed.

So, what have I learnt from the cycle ride?

Well, for one thing the guidebook is overly-optimistic in many of its descriptions- especially concerning Hungarian roads and how well-signposted some areas are.

For another thing, cheap Halfords bikes are surprisingly resilient. As are Howard and I for that matter. I cycled in rain. I hate rain. Those of you who have heard my Rain Rant know it to be true.

Couchsurfing is awesome. And a surprising number of couchsurfers own cats.

Cycling is a satisfying way to travel- it's great to be able to look at a map and see just how far you've travelled on just two wheels. (I mean, one wheel would be an even greater feeling I imagine, but to my knowledge no-one has unicycled along the Danube...yet).

Cyclists get respect in hostels, but will also be repeatedly told about other, vastly superior long-distance cyclists people have met prior to you, who were cycling from the Netherlands to Morocco, or from Paris to Vladivostok, across the Alps, in the winter, in six feet of snow, with one leg... you get the idea.

Belly bars should be removed when cycling.

Naked elderly Austrians are best avoided too.

German is a more useful, nay, vital language than previously anticipated (by me. Howard was on it when he decided to study that one at university).

Also, I am feeling so temporarily pumped up with fitness and energy that I have bought gym membership for all of next year. Surely an incentive to use it... right?

DANUBE CYCLE TRIP: Day 14

2011-09-14T23:40:00.003+01:00

EZTERGOM- BUDAPEST (80km)

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Howard: "I'm listening to some of Kate Bush's newer stuff... it's all calming ethereal music then her, oh isn't it a lovely afternoooon? TEEHEEHEE".
He practically fell over giggling at his own Kate Bush impression. It was quite ethereal, to be fair.

And...

Leah: "If it ain't BAROQUE, don't fix it!"

It's official. Our guide book is officially too generous with the term "baroque". So far, every building we've seen, and every town we've cycled through, has been lauded as a "baroque" masterpiece- except one building, which was "post-baroque". I mean really, what other kind of architecture could you possibly need, when you have baroque as a reference point?

WE'RE HERE! IT'S OFFICIAL! THE TRIAL IS OVER! BUDAPEST AWAITS IN ALL ITS GLORY!

Our final day's cycling was traumatic, to say the least. For one thing, it was of epic proportions. For another, we wasted two hours on the north side of the river, waiting first for our ferry across to arrive, and then for our ferry back to be soldered back into one piece (thankfully, a success). And finally, as the bike shop man back in Passau at the start of our trip had predicted, my bike really was on its last legs. He's put up a noble fight, but I fear his journey's coming to a close. The front wheel moves sideways as well as forwards, several knuts and bolts are missing, and the noise it makes is an ungodly, grinding, whistling sort of screech.

I tried to drown it out with my ipod, but then that ran out of battery and there was no escaping the truth: my bike is sorely in need of a peaceful retirement. ( Don't tell the bike, but I'm actually considering a Viking burial in the Danube...)

Our arrival into the city itself was also not the triumphant blaze of glory that I'd envisioned- rather, hurtling along main roads, terrified, in the pitch black, and hitching fully-laden bicycles over fences and across railways.

Well-earned cup of tea if ever there.was one. We are hysterically laughing with exhaustion. If you still haven't donated any money to Oxfam in sympathy for our cause, you really should. We've bloody earned it!

An optimistic start to the ferry journey...

A bit of a wait...

The soldering begins...

I seek refuge in the only shade available.
It was actually pretty comfy.

DANUBE CYCLE TRIP: Day 13

2011-09-14T00:05:00.003+01:00

KORMANO- EZTERGOM (55km)

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Leah (cycling away from Kormano): "Hey, what happened to the salt caves?"
Howard: "Oh. Damn."

Having been at a loss of things to do in Kormano, it wasn't until the next morning, immediately after checking out, that we realized we'd forgotten that our hotel had a natural salt cave spa underneath it. That was, in fact, why we chose it. We've been referring to it, and looking forward to it all trip. Damn, indeed.

The kitten suckles the boxer. Weird? Cute? Sad? I just don't know how to feel!

Having lost my second belly bar of the trip, I have now accepted that cycling is not a friend to navel piercings (it somehow unscrews them?) and stopped buying more. It feels so wrong.

In Eztergom we couchsurfed with our final host of the trip, the super- friendly and lively Gabriella, as well as her managerie of animals: it seems that as well as taking in waifs and strays in the form of wandering couchsurfers, she has also welcomed two guinea pigs, two budgies, two dogs, six cats and an array of African fish into her home. As I love animals, I thought this was great. And watching Howard, who lacks a natural affinity with cats, try to cook uninterrupted by the playful kitten's intrusions, was some of the best entertainment of the trip.

DANUBE CYCLE TRIP: Day 12

2011-09-12T20:38:00.003+01:00

GYOR- KORMANO (55km)

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"Friend! Special friend! Bridge friend!"

Another day cycling across what the guidebook optimistically calls "somewhat poor terrain" and we call "practically un-cycable". Highlight was a 3km stretch along a rocky, sandy path, on which bits of broken bicycle and items of clothing were strewn all along, as if abandoned by those who couldn't make it. There might as well have been a sign written in blood saying Abondon Hope all Ye who Enter Here.

Everywhere we cycle we see lots of tractors and horses and carts. It feels very fitting.

Weather almost verging on too hot- glad we didn't do this in August!

Komarno is the Slovakian counterpart to Komarom, the Hungarian town. It was all originally one town but was split when the border was drawn, and are now connected by the idealistically-named "bridge of friendship" that traverses the river in between. I say idealistically because we just saw lots of dodgy-looking characters on the bridge eying eachother up menacingly, and for some reason a 24 hour Tesco. We spent most of our time in the town shouting "friend" a la Inbetweeners.

At a loss for anything else to do, I ate a fried slice of camembert, with chips, and drank a large beer, and promptly gained three stone.

Cycle Paths: Hungarian Style

Yet more wonderful paving

I really, really love Hungarian cycle paths

Remnants of a long dead cyclist

Crossing the border from Slovakia to Hungary

DANUBE CYCLE TRIP: Day 11

2011-09-11T20:39:00.002+01:00

MOSONMAGYOROVAR- GYOR (40km)

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
"I want to be the very best, like no one ever was! To catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause! POKEMON!"
FACT: cycling whilst listening to pokemon theme music/ game boy tune makes life a lot more like you're questing to be the ULTIMATE POKEMON MASTER!

An easy day's cycle, made easier by our stopping by a small beach-like area to swim in the river and tan in our swimsuits, surrounded by horses for some reason.

Not following the Danube proper anymore, but actually the smaller Mosoni Duna. There are also less riverside cyclepaths, and more cycling along main roads, which is a shame and a lot less satisfying.

We are beginning to question The Word of Our Lord The Guidebook, which enthuses so hysterically on any given place or route that we no longer trust its advice as objective. It keeps describing terrain as "somewhat poorly paved" when it is, in fact, a sandpit.

In Gyor we couchsurfed with Szabina, who very kindly provided is with keys to her spare flat, which felt very luxurious! She also took us around the beautiful old town, where the three day annual palinko festival (a local spirit) was in full swing; live gypsy music was blaring, traditional dance routines were at their finest, and palinko and chimney cake were waiting to be sampled round every corner. Locals bought the traditional palinko glasses and walked around the town square sipping them, and the monks in the monastry next door had a thoroughly disturbed few nights sleep.

Pre- shot

Post- shot

Rolling around in protest the following morning.
"I don't WANNA go cycling!"

DANUBE CYCLE TRIP: Day 10

2011-09-10T22:54:00.003+01:00

BRATISLAVA- MOSONMAGYOROVAR (40km)

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
(just after crossing Hungarian border)
Leah: "I'm hungry."
Howard: "You mean you're HUNGARY! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

What a name! MOSONMAGYOROVAR! And yes, we're now over the Hungarian border, and will continue to flit between Slovakia and Hungary for the next few days as the cycle path straddles the border.

But first, to Bratislava, which we explored this morning before cycling in the afternoon. I BLOODY LOVE BRATISLAVA! Why didn't anyone tell me it was so nice?! It's just really beautiful, kind of with a shabby faded chic, and then with a really vibrant feel to it- just a really lively, arty vibe. There seemed to be performance theatres and street art and things to get involved with all over the place, and it just felt like one big town. I really liked it, and was walking around devising plans to return there for a few months one day, probably to work with a children's theatre group or similar whilst leading a Bohemian lifestyle in one of the city's many, many narrow apartments (fantasy travel alert!). It just seems like that kind of place. Also, 10% strength beer is just over a euro. Win.

Haven't seen so much of MOSONMAGYOROVAR (really can't get enough of that name) as arrived pretty late, but have so far been very confused by the currency, the language, and the fact that McDonalds DOESN'T HAVE A VEGETARIAN OPTION?! What manner of crazy country is this? Still, the people seem very friendly- we got cycled to our hotel by an old man we asked directions off, and the receptionist seems concerned for our mortal safety- and we have spent the evening, in typical Leah-and-Howard-style, hunting for food, drinking tea and watching Poirot, whilst folk music from a nearby wedding floats through the window. So far, eastern Europe getting a big thumbs up (awful cycling terrain aside) and a Borat-style "is nice!".

DANUBE CYCLE TRIP: Day 9

2011-09-10T22:36:00.003+01:00

VIENNA- BRATISLAVA (60km)

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
(On seeing the Slovakian border)
"It looks very... arid."
"Well, it is eastern Europe."

At the Slovakian border

It was difficult to begin cycling again after those few days of rest. For one thing, our muscles were out of practice. For another, it took bloody forever to find our way out of Vienna- that Prater woodland is really not well signposted!

Nor, it seems, is the rest of the the Cyclepath past Austria. Not only that, but the terrain is a lot worse on a lot of patches, and our journey go the Slovakian border was lengthened by about 20km or so by a so-called "diversion" that just took us on a merry old jaunty around the Viennese industrial subhurba for a pleasant few hours or so... Four hours after leaving our hostel, we found ourselves at an Austrian ranch with a sign saying Vienna city centre was just 16km away. Unimpressed.

Soon got back into swing of things (averaging speeds of 15-20km per hour, which isn't too bad) only to spend a further few hours cycling along an old rail line with nothing but trees on either side for a view.

At last we came to Slovakia, from one country capital to another... and nothing but a few stereotypical preconceptions about eastern Europe to guide us. We are beyond the realms of Howard's language skills now (and mine, but that's hardly surprising). And so begins the second leg of our trip...

DANUBE CYCLE TRIP: Days 7-8

2011-09-10T22:16:00.003+01:00

A FEW DAYS IN VIENNA

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Woman (to Howard): "Your German is not very good."

Also, anything shouted at by a naked Austrian i.e. far too many things

So we had a couple of days chilling out in Vienna, which mainly translated into cooking a lot of vegetable based dishes and eating sachretorte in a city which seems to have more architecture than people. Still, what architecture! "Old Empire cosmopolitan" in Howard's words.

Every day we were in Vienna it was forecast rain, and every day we put off going swimming in one of the outdoor pools because of it, and every day it did not rain, just stayed sulkily overcast. So, on our last day, we travelled to the Romer Therme just out of town and enjoyed a luxurious spa day at the Roman baths. Somehow I never thought that Howard and I would ever end up sitting together in an infrared sauna room surrounded by shouting, old naked Austrians, but I suppose that just goes to show: you never know where life may take you. Awkward, awkward times. Remember how Oedipus tore his own eyes out to stop himself from seeing the horrors around him? Can completely sympathise now.

Also lived the A level psychology dream by visiting Freud's house, now a museum (o! That loveable old sex pest! Gotta love a psychoanalytic reading of, oh, anything), and seeing Howard in lederhosen. Which he almost bought.

DANUBE CYCLE TRIP. Day 6

2011-09-06T20:51:00.003+01:00

TRAISMAUER- VIENNA (60km)

FACT OF THE DAY:
Howard has the stomach of a tender young ballerina.

And suddenly, it's the last day of the first leg of our trip, and we're half way through! Had a sneaky cycle tour of Traismauer before joining up with the path, courtesy of Bernhard. Another hot day, fueling Howy's tan-envy; he's somewhere in the "rich tea biscuit" region, whereas I am, as predicted, more of a bourbon. Well, almost.

Enjoying a few day's rest and sightseeing here in Vienna. Were very impressed when, in hostel, we found map of Austria showing how far we've cycled- seriously, Google map it. We've basically travelled the whole country. Get in!

Hot showers and a good kitchen. Bliss.

DANUBE CYCLE TRIP: Day 5

2011-09-06T20:45:00.003+01:00

MELK- TRAISMAUER (50km)

QUOTES OF THE DAY:
A DESCRIPTION OF HOWARD AND I, BY SOMEONE UNAWARE THAT HOWARD COULD TRANSLATE:
"eine Halbinsel mit einer goldenen Prinzessin" = "a peninsula and a golden princess"
?!

and

"I would cycle 500km and I would cycle 200 more just to be the man who cycled 700km to fall down at someone's door! DA DU DA DA!..." ad infinitum

An early departure from Ingrid's, and a relatively lazy day's cycling compared to the others. Cycled through the Wachau, Austria's famous wine district- lots of vineyards and Apple trees. It was hot, but rain had been forcast, and it was during a luxurious lunch in Krems (home of many, many cathedrals) that the weather broke, and we spent the next hour speeding the remaining 15km to Traismauer with thunderclouds hot on our heels, and the question of to what extant an adult metal bicycle might attract lightening in our minds.

In Traismauer we stayed with couchsurfers Bernhard and Jenny, who comforted us from the fact that the hilarious-sounding "Dinosaur Land" described in our guide book had in fact closed down long ago (one can dream...) by taking us to a traditional "heudinger", which serve extravagant cheese platters and local wines for around a euro each. Another quality couchsurfing experience- and at last, people who wanted the English tea we've been offering everyone!

My excellent packing

Lack of proper English tea (not that Earl Grey muck) saddens me deeply

Wachau Valley

DANUBE CYCLE TRIP. Day 4

2011-09-04T21:42:00.002+01:00

GREIN- MELK (50km)

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Howard: "There's no better feeling than blood running through your buttocks."

Having slept through our 7am alarm, left Grein a little later than intended, to another gloriously sunny day. Am, as predicted, a glorious bronze- albeit tinged with pink.

Worked out a new and more efficient cycling system to combat fatigue- namely, we cycle half way (usually aroung 25km), have a break, cycle another quarter, have lunch, and then cycle a leisurely final 10km or so. Works much better for morale, breaking it up like that. Have cycled over 200km now! Legs are tired.

Arrived in our destination, the beautiful Melk, unprecedentally early, and enjoyed a wander round the world-famous Monastry. We are currently couchsurfing with Ingrid and her son, and have just enjoyed an al fresco meal of salad, wine and apfelstrudel overlooking Melk. Life is good.

DANUBE CYCLE TRIP: Day 3

2011-09-04T13:53:00.002+01:00

LINZ-GREIN (70km)

QUOTES OF THE DAY:
Howard: Funny, isn't it, that they're playing an old Hitler speech...
Leah: What?!
Howard: Nah, I'm just kidding. They're just announcing the winners of a village fete.

and

Leah: Why don't I get these drinks while you go wait by the car?
Howard: ...
Leah: I mean bikes.
*wishful thinking*

Tan-tastic weather now, over 32 degrees, meaning that soon I will be a glorious bronze. Developing a cyclist's tanline on my hands, as fingers that grip handlebars are remaining white.

A looong day cycling due to two diversions and getting a tad lost after an extended lunch in Enns (Howard needs feeding regularly, every few hours, on the dot- it's almost uncanny), so arrived to our rustic hut on a campsite in Grein as evening set in. Legs getting pretty tired now!

Highlights of the day: narrowly avoided a snake slithering off the cycle path just east of Linz! Brunch next to a cathedral. Howard cracking out his skimpy lycra shorts, whilst cycling barefoot. Losing heart on the world's longest diversion, and the sugar rush that followed after buying a cornetto and a coke and finding the right path again. And arguing with the owners of the Campingplatz Grein, who not only seemed desperate to squeeze money out of us at every opportunity (who charges for drinking water?!) because our WiFi didn't work, AND getting our money back. Wheat beer.

DANUBE CYCLE TRIP: Day 2

2011-09-02T23:24:00.006+01:00

SCHLOGEN- LINZ (55km)

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Leah: "I found loads of dead insects on my in the shower. I think they drowned in my sweat."

At last! Sunshine! Corn fields! Blue skies! Dry clothes! Sun burn, which tomorrow surely will be a gorgeous bronze! THIS is the cycle trip we dreamt of!

Weather improved one hundred fold. Set off early along south of river, getting short ferry across to north just 10km from Linz. Made good time, and not yet too sore.

Devised waterproof binbag cover for my backpack, just in case.

Had lunch in Auschach. Were pursued by wasps.

Currently couchsurfing in Linz with Elisa and Markus. Enjoyed a lovely meal togther, made by Howard but volunteered by me, and explored town. Very pretty!

Howard's German skills are putting me to shame, but proving most useful seeing as there are very few English signs.

I am singing "The Sound of Music" a lot.

DANUBE CYCLE TRIP: Day 1

2011-09-02T23:22:00.004+01:00

PASSAU- SCHLOGEN (40km)

QUOTE OF THE DAY:
Howard: "It says the baths are fed by radioactive waters..."
Leah: "I'm sure that just means they're laden with minerals or something."

Inauspicious start. Arriving in Munich and reassembling bikes, discovered mine was missing one small, but very vital, part that connects handlebars to front wheel. Was without steering. Had it fixed at bike shop in Passau (turned out missing part had in fact got wedged inside bike during transit), and was informed my bike was unsuitable for upcoming trip.

Meanwhile, Howard had his front wheel confiscated by hostel manager.

So it was a belated start as we set off on the cycle path from Passau- which was a shame, because it was at that moment that the heavens opened. Soon discovered that neither backpack, nor waterproof, as waterproof as had been hoped.

Three and a half hours later, and in another country across the least secure border I've ever seen, we took refuge in the first and far-too-extravagant room we could find, and began the difficult process of drying all if our clothes, whilst contemplating terrifying prospect of following this raincloud all the way to Budapest.

Hot shower improved morale considerabley. If you still haven't sponsored us yet, you'd bloody better do after that day!

Proof: I was a Chinese baby!

2011-05-08T19:01:00.000+01:00

Me, before I went blonde...

No, I can't explain it either. I looked like this for several months, then suddenly, BLAM, went all blonde and Caucasian. Study China clearly gave me the chance to return to my true spiritual home. At least as an Asian baby, I was cute.

Old People, Kids and Babies: A Photographer's Dream

2011-05-08T10:05:00.000+01:00

Christ, going over all my photos now that I'm home, I can't help but notice just how many photos of old people, kids and babies I took. I'm such a creeper!

Still, they are good, aren't they? So full of character!

NEVER Wear a Playsuit to a Club: Nightlife in China

2011-05-07T15:40:00.000+01:00

The cardinal rule when it comes to clubbing in China, we've discovered, is to avoid playsuits at all costs. The reason for this: Asian toilets.

Not for China is the porcelain throne; no, they prefer the good old-fashioned hole-in-the-ground, which, for those of us not used to squatting, can prove a daunting test of balance and dexterity.

First there is the challenge of trying to balance yourself above the hole without dropping handbag, camera and purse down into the irretrievable depths. Then there's the question of exactly how far to squat; received wisdom says that lower is better, but then you don't want your legs cramping up half way through, and then of course, if you get too low, there's always the fear in the back of your mind, of splashback...

Overall then, tackling Chinese toilets can be a difficult thing. Throw alcohol into the equation and it's a whole new ball game. And throw a playsuit into the mix and BAM! Say zai jian to your dignity. JUST DON'T DO IT! AND DON'T SAY YOU HAVEN'T BEEN WARNED!

Cinderella's Nightclub in Jinan. Night Train is also recommended

Nightclubs in China, peeing difficulties aside, are an interesting experience not to be missed, as our previous night out in Sanlitun revealed to us. Jinan plays host to a number of clubs, which seem to be frequented solely by international students and dodgy Chinese men who I got told were in the Triads, although how true that is is open to debate. Chinese girls don't really seem to go clubbing, or drink alcohol, like we do- although obviously there are always exceptions, and a few of the Chinese female students did end up coming out with us. But generally, they are a lot more conservative and well-behaved. Plus, having an 11pm curfew in their halls of residence doesn't help! If a Chinese student goes out, they're committing to staying out the entire night.

A more popular alternative to clubbing is kareoke, or KTV as the Chinese refer to it, which is hugely popular, and performed unashamedly and without the cringe-inducing half-heartedness we generally put into it. We all went to KTV a couple of times while in Jinan, and it was a lot better fun than we expected- the '90s classics were out in force, and our collective rendition of Blue's "All Rise" would bring a tear to Duncan's eye.

Plus- and this is important- it's safe to wear a playsuit to KTV. And I packed enough of those badboys to make that a very important element in deciding how to spend our evenings- got to justify what you packed somehow!

What is 'Study China'?

2011-05-06T08:31:00.002+01:00

I'm home again, and recovering from vestiges of jetlag and lack of Chinese food, but I also managed to write this article for Epigram and Exploration to promote the 'Study China' programme and explain a little bit about what it is- if you're eligible, I'd definitely recommend applying!

The University Campus- see the Confucius statue!

I’ve just got back from China, where I spent three incredible weeks at Shandong University, with 70 other students from the UK- all at the government’s expense! If you think you might be interested in a trip to China in your holidays, then you too should apply for the ‘Study China’ programme.

In 2007 the UK government decided that its students don’t know enough about China- not many of us can speak the language, have ever visited, or even have the inclination to visit, even though it’s such an important rising power- and so the government created ‘Study China’. ‘Study China’ gives you the chance to spend a few weeks at a top Chinese university with the government paying for everything: accommodation, living expenses, cultural workshops, sightseeing and 30-40 hours of Mandarin tuition are all included. The only thing you pay for is your flight and your visa, which costs from about £500. However, because it’s such a prestigious programme- for the last round, around 1000 students applied for just over 200 places, so it looks very good on the old CV!- most people’s universities help contribute towards this. I looked to my department for funding, but you can also apply for an alumni travel grant- and some students I met had even been funded by local papers in exchange for writing about their experience!

The range of people on this programme was incredibly diverse; when I applied, I thought it would mostly be economics or language students from top ranking universities, but it wasn’t like that at all. The breadth of subjects people studied covered anything and everything, including languages, medicine, tourism- and even circus studies! People came from all sorts of different universities, as well as Art and Drama schools. Some students were already very well-travelled, some were not. Most people had never been to China before, and hardly anyone spoke any Chinese. Selection for the programme relies on fitting a range of criteria, such as showing interest in other cultures and languages, how studying in China fits your personal and career aspirations, and demonstrating an interest in contemporary Chinese culture. To apply you simply fill in the online application at http://servalan.humanities.manchester.ac.uk/studychina, answering a few essay-style questions, and then have a tutor provide a supporting reference. It really isn’t hard and doesn’t take long; as my room mate in Jinan said, the only reason she was in China was because she’d been sunbathing and the sun had gone behind a cloud, so she filled in the application while waiting for it to come out again. It really is that easy. If you’re interested in applying for the summer programme, which run this July and August in Shanghai and Beijing, then get online and apply by 13^th May. Because of the economy, funding will cease and the programme stops after next Easter, so you better apply now. You have nothing to lose and so much to gain!

Hanging Around in Hangzhou

2011-05-01T22:39:00.000+01:00

This is my third and final day in Hangzhou. I decided to come here after the programme because I had nearly a week until I fly home from Beijing (I might be missing my first week back at uni, but the flights were so much cheaper, and it seems a shame to fly all this way and not explore a bit), and I've already seen most of the major sights in Beijing that my friends off the programme wanted to go see. The Chinese have a saying about Hangzhou and the nearby Souzhou: "the gods have paradise, but the Chinese have Hangzhou and Souzhou". Well, only an overnight train away, I thought I'd check it out.

Unfortunately, the rest of China seem to have had the same thought, which sadly detracts from the "paradise" element- turns out, this Monday is Labour Day, and it's a national holiday. Which means that a) Hangzhou is heaving with Chinese tourists and b) it's very difficult to get trains tickets anywhere. Today especially (maybe because it's the 1st?) the city is insanely crowded. Just take a look:

The Su Causeway

I've just had to duck out of the lake side pathway because I couldn't take the masses of people anymore, and have taken shelter in a nearby Buddhist temple, which is considerabley more peaceful. Only a handful of people are in here, making offerings of incense, and the throaty chanting is very relaxing. I think this is a good place to stay for a while!

My refuge

I think that, more than anything else, visiting Hangzhou has given me an insight into modern Chinese tourism! Girls walk around in unfeasibly high heels, and couples wear matching t-shirts and resolutely hold hands no matter where they are going or what they are doing- even making a pot noodle. People buy the tackiest pieces of tat with no trace of irony. The painful Asian tour groups, complete with annoying flags, mathing hats and annoying microphone, are rife, as are people travelling unnecessarily along the pavement in electric buggies. And people photograph themselves in front of literally anything- flowers, the sun, a wall, a gate, a bicycle... Strangely though, not one person has asked for a photo with me (although there have been a few sneaky photos)- maybe because I'm on my own, or because they're so busy photographing themselves at every given stage of their holiday ("look! Here's me putting on my right shoe! And here's the left one... and this is me leaving the hotel!"... reminds me of my fifteen-year-old MySpace days). Either way, I don't know whether to be offended or relieved, as I really do not look at my best in Hangzhou. It's boiling hot and I'm walking a lot, so I'm drenched in sweat (which, as we discovered at Tai Shan, the Chinese do not have), the insects here love me and have made my legs (especially, for some reason, the right one) into a malformed, blotchy, bumpy mess, and my hayfever has gone haywire, rendering me unable to wear my contact lenses and wondering the lake side in a constant state of weepiness, like a Renaissance heroine. It's a good thing I didn't get placed here for the programme; a month here and I'd return looking like Quasimodo!

Couple watching the sunset over the West Lake

The highlight of Hangzhou is its massive West Lake, which takes about 5 hours to walk around- as I discovered the day I arrived, and decided to go for a "casual stroll" around the lake. Two hours later, and not even half way, I began to realize I had miscalculated. My hostel is right next to the lake, so I've spent most of my time here exploring that- it's especially nice at sunrise and sunset, and I like the Su Causeway which cuts across the lake, as you can sit on a bench by the water and it gets a good breeze. The lakeside is also dotted with pagodas and bridges and temples and towers, all shrouded by willow trees, so you're never short of things to see- just the requisite energy required to get around them all!

Luckily, Hangzhou has a good public bike rental system, where you buy a card and use it to help yourself to the numerous bright red bicycles, which makes getting around a lot quicker and easier- thankfully there are decent bike lanes here, so you don't quite have to brave the Asian traffic. There are also a lot of hills and tea plantations, for hiking, which I think I will check out today. Frequent taxis in Jinan (they're so cheap it just seemed stupid not to take them, but I still felt very "Sex in the City" casually hailing a taxi to take me and my shopping home, even if my shopping consists of some tea and a fake Cath Kidston bag) have left me feeling inactive- I need this excercise, or hilly Bristol will kill me!

The bike (and bag) in question!

Getting to Hangzhou was a bit painful because of this being a holiday weekend. My train was delayed, and lots of others were rolling up 5 or 6 hours late- I told myself that if mine hadn't come within 3 hours, I'd dash back to the university and take the free bus to Beijing with my friends, rather than risk getting stuck in train nightmares trying to get back in time for my flight. However, as these doubts pervaded, my train rolled up, only an hour late, so to Hangzhou I went.

The next morning however, arriving in Hangzhou, was hell. I don't think I've ever despised a train station so much! I wasted an hour of my life there, lugging my stuff up and down stairs in the sweltering heat in an effort to secure a ticket back to Beijing, only to discover that for the price I might as well fly! I didn't even have enough money on me, so I gave up for the moment and tried to get a taxi to hostel. Unfortunately, unbeknownst to me, I had wondered away from the official taxi rank (which, upon its eventual discovery, entailed a sweaty 40 minute wait) and was fruitlessly looking for a real taxi with a meter whilst scammers tried to hustle me into vans with the word "taxi" painted on in wobbly handwriting, and charge me 100 yuan for a 10 yuan journey- which I just found insulting to my intelligence. I must have wandered up and down that damn train station three times, all the while being hounded by scammers, before I found the official taxi rank- down many flights of stairs, of course! I was at that point where you're either about to cry, or start screaming and swearing at everyone. Partly because of this horrific introduction to Hangzhou, I had no desire to return to that station, so I ended up actually buying a cheap last minute plane ticket back to Beijing instead of taking the train! Usually I dislike getting planes unnecessarily, but I refuse to pay £80 for an overnight train when I could fly it in 2 hours for cheaper.

Overall though, I've enjoyed Hangzhou- I'd encourage other people to come see it, because it really is beautiful- just don't come in tourist high season! Now of you excuse me, I'm off to explore this temple properly, before a tour group arrive.

Oh. Too late, here's one now. Oh well. Li Li An out!

Lotus candles for the Buddhist shrines

Additional note:
Am currently sitting in the beautiful Botanical Gardens, reading and dangling feet in stream. THIS is the place to come and cycle around when it's crowded! Recommend!

Old People, Tai Chi and Dancing!

2011-04-30T19:46:00.000+01:00

I am writing this by the enormous West Lake in Hangzhou, which yesterday I went for what I thought would be a "casual stroll" around... turns out that takes five hours!

I think that I am officially turning into an old person. Last night I went to bed at 9pm, and I keep waking up before 6am. Maybe I was just more tired than I'd thought after my journey from hell leaving Jinan, or maybe I just need to rest following the packed itinerary of the Study China programme, but either way, I'm now officially one of the elderly. To prove it, I joined them today for some early morning Tai Chi.

Chinese people get up earlier than us Brits, or indeed most of the civilised world- walk around any public space I'm China at 7am and you won't find just postmen doing their rounds, and drunken youths doing a wobbly walk of shame. Instead, you find old people: old people gathering doing Tai Chi; old people dancing with fans or swords; old people power walking; old people stretching; old people slapping random partaking of their body to improve circulation. At first it seems really random, but actually it's nice to see the elderly making so much effort to remain active- I just saw an old man doing impressive high kicks, kicking his own hands with a resounding slap; I'm pretty sure that octagenarian could take me in a fight! In China, there's really no need to join a gym, as excercise seems to be a public, open-to-all thing. The Tai Chi groups always begin with a collection of daily regulars, complete in colourful silk robes, following either a master, or just eachother's, movements, but then gradually passersby in everyday clothes join in, coming and going for brief periods of time, so that the group is an ever changing circle.

Some casual early morning sword practice by the middle aged

In the evenings, as the sun sets, the same thing happens again, except that now you can find dancing- sometimes ballroom, sometimes more like gentle aerobics, but always accompanied by loud music blaring out of speakers someone has brought- who? Who organizes these gatherings? I cannot fathom it.

Anyway, this morning I rose at my new, ridiculously early hour and set out to the lake (only 30 seconds from my hostel) to photograph the sunrise. The pipe music, which I'd heard from my room and assumed to be a tape, was actually a man practising beneath a pagoda. Scattered all along the path were groups of the elderly doing their thing. One Tai Chi group was larger than the other, moving in slow unison to the calming opera music emitting from its speakers, and was being continuously joined by a stream of passersby. So I thought "why not?".

In Jinan, we'd had a morning class in Tai Chi and Kung Fu (as far as I can tell, pretty much the same thing but at different speeds), which was very impressive (they brought out a ninja child to demonstrate moves, and then the aged instructor consistently beat up Greg) but not especially helpful as I found it hard to see what moves they were doing, let alone emulate them, and the whole class soon descended into us pretending to defend ourselves from gropey Chinese men in clubs.

CONCLUSION: Practicing with the old people is definitely easier! And god, do I feel wholesome.

Tai Chi to the blossoms in Jingshan Park

Chinese Calligraphy and Characters

2011-04-29T19:47:00.000+01:00

Learning to speak Mandarin isn't actually too difficult, in terms of grammar and word order. The problem comes from remembering the words and tones, which bare no relation to romance languages, and the tricky pronunciation. But even that can he overcome with time.

Learning to read and write Mandarin, however, is a different matter entirely.

Chinese characters: Wtf? It took us a week just to learn how to read Pinyin, the western script version of Mandarin, and then they go and thrust characters on us as well? Each word is a picture, but not a picture you can recognise as being anything at all, let alone what it's describing! In our test at the end of the programme (the test in which it was impossible to fail), every time Ms. Cheng held up a different character I just saw a stick person running towards a window. It's like one of those inkblot tests: psychologically revealing, but not useful when applied to Mandarin.

"love"

As for calligraphy, the art of drawing stylized characters... well it looks nice, and I suspect that the Chinese school children are so good at drawing (as proven in the Middle School) because of their calligraphy skills, but I never really got it. In the graduation show it was decided that there should be a "calligraphy performance", which somehow Orla and Kai Lu were dragged into without any knowledge of what it entailed- turned out, a team of Brits wrote out a character each to form "we love China". It was actually nice, being accompanied with traditional music and dance, but I don't think anyone's going to be rushing to learn calligraphy at home any time soon. Especially me, whose visual memory is nill; I see something, and immediately forget it and can never recognise it again. Think I'll just stick with the Pinyin!

"Calligraphy Show" at the Graduation ceremony

Chinese Food

2011-04-27T19:43:00.000+01:00

Oh my god, China is making me fat, who would have seen that coming? Last time I was here I weighed like a stone less, but in retrospect that was probably because I'd been backpacking from South East Asia for three months and had basically consisted on fruit smoothies and sunshine, not to mention their small portion sizes. In China, not so. The portions here are MASSIVE! I have yet to be given a bowl of noodles I can actually finish, and I am something of a human dustbin anyway. Also, food is so cheap that you can't NOT eat loads of it. Street food costs mere pennies (nothing like a refreshing pineapple-on-a-stick when you're on the move) and even the most luxurious meals out, in fancy restaurants with ornate local delicacies and when they keep bringing out endless trays upon trays stacked with innumerable tasty things, it stretches to the pricey £3-5 a head. I've actually started thinking some meals are "too expensive" because they're £2.50 when I know where I could get the same dish for £2 somewhere else. It's a bit ridiculous. I put a tenner's worth of yuan on my dining card for the university canteen and shop, and it's only just run out. Seriously, I'm going to be going home and inviting everyone out for dinner all the time, then having cardiac arrests when the bill comes. It's going to be an unpleasant shock to the system.

I think the biggest reason we're all turning into such fatties is because we have to eat so much because the food is just so GOOD! Every meal time is like an adventure! You never know what you might be getting. Peanuts? Strange vegetables? Duck? Tofu? Beancurd? God, I love the beancurd, it's like a chocolate substitute. Sadly though we do not have time to get a proper breakfast before class unless we wake up at ungodly o'clock (and to be honest who wants dumplings for breakfast anyway?) and so we are subsisting on kinder buenoes and iced coffees from the international shop until lunch time anyway, and so it's not like I'm missing out on the chocolate. Strawberry oreos for 60p? Win!

Meals are just too exciting to skimp on here. And the novelty of eating everything with chopsticks still hasn't worn off- one of my proudest moments was being told that I used chopsticks "like a Chinese" by my buddy. And also, food is such a social thing, far more than in the UK, as instead of ordering our own dishes you just order a load of different things for the table and spin them between yourselves on the rotating tray in the centre, and help yourself.

Obviously, the food here barely resembles Chinese food at home. I think when I get home I will invest in a Chinese cookbook and pay a visit to the Asian supermarket in Bristol. We tried to make dumplings the other day when visiting the family of one of the professor's here, but mine were not the best. One day...

Nom nom cockroaches

Daisy takes us on a street food tour. Daisy and I share similar attitudes to food. By which I mean, neither of us ever got full. It was outstanding.

Nom nom chicken foot

Cookery lesson from a local family

Peking Duck

Homemade dumplings

Duck head

In antidote, An Lang Rau and I bought a special weight loss tea. It was disgusting and looked like this:

It did not work.

7,200 Stairs to Heaven

2011-04-26T19:44:00.000+01:00

8.19am
On bus to Mt. Tai. Have just been informed that we will be taken half way up the mountain then, "if your body no good", you can get the cable car instead of walk- because, as our tour guide just informed a coach load of new generation women, "some of the girls will find it difficult".

We do not like our tour guide. He speaks too close to the microphone, and when he is not speaking he blows into it unnecessarily.

10.04am
Arrived to find out cable car not operating for reasons unknown. I was already psyched up for walking, but the lazier/ less fit elements of our group are crestfallen. It doesn't look too bad...

10.44am
Oh my god, the holiest mountain in China is STEEP! We are taking regular breaks every time the steps even out onto plateaus, where you can buy overpriced chocolate bars and drinks and pancakes. Matteo has acquired a walking stick. We are revived by pineapple on a stick, but then Kai Lu drops hers, and we move onwards and upwards...

11.16am
Ok, now it's very steep steps indeed. We are the only western tourists, but that doesn't make it any less crowded because it seems that most of Shandong thought today was the perfect day to do some mountain climbing. The Chinese do not sweat. It's official. While we lie down in dying poses, gasping for breath and drenched in sweat, dapper old men in smart suits bob merrily by, smoking a casual cigarette. This is why they don't sell deodrant in China!

Them

11.22am
Some Chinese people are looking out of breathe. HA!

11.39am
Strangely, given our unnattractive state, Chinese people are still stopping us and asking for photos. We resemble damp tomatoes in frizzy wigs. Maybe they think that's what we are?

We are given a walking stick by one tourist in exchange for a photo. That makes us feel better.

12.01pm
Last stretch now. Only the strength that comes from singing the Mulan soundtrack can give us the energy required to get up this last part...

12.16pm
I tell a lie. The very last push required a power ballad of truly motivational proportions. After some discussion, we suddenly sprinted up the final steps, a large crowd of Westerners barging through, made no less conspicuous by the fact that we we are screaming the lyrics of "I will survive!" into the faces of confused and bemused passers by. By the second verse I thought I might throw up a little bit, but then, at last, the ground levels and we have made it! The view is pretty good, even if it is a little cloudy- we really have climbed far. 7,200 steps of the steepest variety to be exact. To top it off, we are told that the cable car is now working, and we can take that back down again, take in the scenic views and rest our weary legs again. Now it's time for some lunch on top of the world! I feel rejuvenated! From now on, excersise and healthy eating for me! Maybe I will train for a marathon...

Later that night...
That was the endorphins talking. We got back to Jinan and went to Pizza Hut. I have no regrets, either about Pizza Hut or the mountain.