Bad Hebrew Tattoos

This is NOT how King Solomon Wrote it!

2010-03-18T20:21:00.007+02:00

Today's victim got himself the oh-so-common Hebrew tattoo, "I'm my beloved's and my beloved is mine" from Songs of Solomon, which as determined earlier, has no place on a male.

However, this guy isn't not here because he got an overused and inappropriate tattoo, he's here because the tattoo also happens to be misspelled. Take a closer look, see those long line-like letters that stick out to the right? Those are Nun-sofit letters and they just shouldn't be there.

This is what went wrong here:

The Hebrew letter Vav (which appears many times in this verse and carries a sound of V, O or U) was mistakenly replaced with Nun-sofit, a letter which is read as N and can only appear as the last letter in a word.

It might be interesting for the Hebrew non-speakers to know, that not only do these two very differently sounding letters look similar, but they are also placed right next to each other on the Hebrew keyboard. Therefore, the mistake this tattoo sports is one that happens all the time in hastily typed Hebrew texts.

And this is how you properly write "I'm my beloved's and my beloved is mine" in Hebrew. Can you tell the difference now?

Tattoo of Permanent Regrets

2010-03-15T20:32:00.003+02:00

Behold this prime example of why you shouldn't use an online automatic translator to get the translation for your long and complex Hebrew tattoo:

This Hebrew tattoo reads something along the lines of: "Regretting. Not in love. No excuses. With to live". Also, it's written entirely in male form.

I don't really know what all that is supposed to mean, but I could think up a story... The story would involve a vindictive Tattoo Artist boyfriend who decides to ditch his girl, but not before leaving a nice goodbye note inked on her back. In Hebrew, of course.

Yeah. That's the best explanation I can offer to explain that.

Chronology of Tattoo Disaster

2010-03-11T21:14:00.004+02:00

Today's victim owns a very special piece of jewelry. It's a necklace, and it features her name written in Hebrew. The victim probably likes it a lot, as she decided to base her permanent tattoo on the little trinket:

What is the girl's name, anyway? Honestly, I don't know.

Unless She is actually named "Dabima", as her necklace suggests, it would be safe to assume that the necklace is misspelled. If I had to guess, I'd say "Rebecca", though a terribly misspelled one.

Now look at the tattoo., see how much worse than the necklace it turned out. Every single letter is misshapen somehow. Several even morphed into entirely different letters.

Using your jewelry as a template for a Hebrew tattoo - bad idea. Using misspelled jewelry - even worse! Don't do it kids, it's just not worth the grief!

The Faithless Verse

2010-03-08T21:41:00.004+02:00

Today we have yet another spiritual Hebrew tattoo. A biblical verse. Whatever could it say?

What, you don't recognize this verse? Might be because it's total gibberish.

Yes, our poor victim went in for a verse, the ever popular Hebrews 11:1, which speaks of faith and its definition. In this case, her faith was misplaced as this Hebrew tattoo has nothing to do with anything, it's simply comprised of some randomly jumbled Hebrew letters.

Even if you don't know Hebrew at all, you can see that all the words in this tattoo are three lettered and differ by the middle letter only.

The verse Hebrews 11:1, says: "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen", and this is how you can write it in Hebrew:

When considering this verse for your tattoo, you should keep in mind that the New Testament wasn't originally written in Hebrew, so this is just a translation. For authenticity's sake, wouldn't it be better to just get it in its original Greek?

Where's Her Future?

2010-03-05T22:06:00.005+02:00

Not one to dwell on the past, today's victim wanted her Hebrew tattoo to spell an optimistic message: "The Future"...

Fate (or a malicious friend), however, ruined her plans thoroughly.

I don't know where this girl got her translation for "The Future" from, but she could hardly manage something further from the original intent. Her tattoo, in fact, says "Backward" or "To the Back", in Hebrew.

Many backward Hebrew tattoos made their appearance on this blog, but none of them actually spelled out the word. This is something brand new!

If, for whatever reason, you feel like tattooing "The Future" on your skin, this is how it correctly translates to Hebrew:

Weaklings Get Tattoos Too

2010-03-03T20:45:00.004+02:00

Some people know their weaknesses and are not afraid to show them. Or, you know, tattoo them in a big bold Hebrew font on their arm...

Don't know what other weaknesses this victim has, but bad knowledge of the Hebrew language is certainly one of them.

His tattoo has three totally random words in Hebrew. The first word, "Hulsha", means weakness. The second word, "Mkubal", means accepted or popular. The third word - that one is just an incorrectly formed nonsense word that has no meaning.

How can this even happen? I would have blamed some automatic translation service, except I don't know how to explain that last gibberish word. Very strange indeed.

God's Name, All Messed Up

2010-03-01T22:19:00.005+02:00

Today's victim is walking around with a particularly ridiculous Hebrew tattoo on his wrist:

All this guy wanted is a spiritual tattoo saying "The Lord's" in Hebrew. I bet those of you who know Hebrew are scratching your heads in confusion, as this bad Hebrew tattoo spells out a nonsense word.

Somehow, whoever attempted this sad translation couldn't distinguish "The Lord's" from "The Lords" - and so he took God's most sacred name, YHWH, and attempted to turn it into multiple form. You just don't do that! Especially not to a God who is all about oneness.

Also, the Nikkud (vowel dots) on this tattoo is totally random. And it's ugly too. If any Hebrew tattoo deserves the title of Epic Fail - this is the one.

How would you write "The Lord's" in Hebrew? Something like this:

This basically says "Belong to my master", I think it conveys the original meaning best, while avoiding the offensiveness of tattooing God's sacred name. Good for BDSM purposes too.

Skeleton Boy

2010-02-26T09:38:00.002+02:00

I have no idea what this one is supposed to be:

This Hebrew tattoo basically spells out: "Skeleton from Isdael", but without the spaces.

Did he mean "Skeleton from Israel"? That could somewhat explain why the Hebrew language was used. However, just by looking at his arm you can see this guy is no skeleton!

Ideas, anyone? I would love to know just what this mangled Hebrew tattoo is all about.

Burnt Semolina Boys

2010-02-23T20:53:00.008+02:00

Check out these two crispy-fried victims. These guys went in for matching spiritual tattoos. Their tattoos were supposed to say "Forgiven" in Hebrew...

Instead, the tattoos spell "Semolina", you know, the flour-like stuff that's used to make a sort of porridge. Burnt porridge from the looks of it.

How did that happen? Well, the boys meant to have the Hebrew word "Salach" which doesn't mean "Forgiven" anyway, it actually means "Forgave".

However, their intentions were fouled by the similarity of the Hebrew letters Het and Tav.

And so, "Salach" turned into "Solet" which means Semolina - a simple, totally non-spiritual food. It can also be read as a misspelled "Salat", which means Salad in Hebrew.

Actually, there's a good reason so many "Forgiven" tattoos go wrong. It simply isn't as straightforward a concept in Hebrew as it is in English. You can see a previous post about "Forgiven" tattoos. Different ways to write it are discussed both in the post and in the comments.

Currently I prefer (and suggest) the following form: "Nimchalti" - "I was Forgiven" for those of you who'd like to have it as a Hebrew tattoo. It works for both genders and sounds more personal than the other options.

Shabbat Special: The "Not Hebrew" Tattoos

2010-02-20T20:33:00.005+02:00

Got good Hebrew tattoos? Send them in! I'm in a great lack of Good Hebrew Tattoos! Please mail your stuff to typotat@gmail.com.

Today we will explore a very disturbing way in which Hebrew tattoos can (and do) go wrong. The "Not Hebrew" usually happens when a greedy so-called Tattoo Artist is willing to do anything for a quick buck, even compose a tattoo in a foreign language he doesn't know at all.

Check out the following masterpiece for example. The victim is sure he's walking around with his loved one's name in Hebrew on his arm...

Of course, this is not Hebrew at all. It looks a little bit like Arabic, but it is so sloppy looking that I'm willing to bet it's not real Arabic either.

Now this girl, she's sure her arm spells out some kind of prayer in Hebrew...

The letters of this tattoo do look a little bit like Hebrew, but not close enough! Is this even a real language? I never seen anything like it before...

And the last one, this guy thinks his arm has the word "Strength" in Hebrew...

The tattoo of course, spells no such thing. Not in Hebrew at least. This actually looks like Sanskrit to me. I wouldn't hold my breath for correctness, though.

This Too Shall Pass

2010-02-18T20:38:00.006+02:00

According to Wikipedia, "This Too Shall Pass" is an expression taken from a Jewish folktale about King Solomon. To this guy, apparently, it means a lot, as he decided to tattoo the expression in Hebrew, on his ribs.

I find it a bit ironic that a permanent tattoo says "This Too Shall Pass". Had it been correct, I might have found it a bit clever too.

In any case, while the spelling on this Hebrew tattoo is fine, there is one big flaw - it lacks spacing between the words of the expression.

See, "This Too Shall Pass" reads in Hebrew as "Gam Zeh Ya'avor" - 3 words. There should be spaces between the three words. Like this:

Yes, boys and girls. It might come as a shock, but the Hebrew language utilizes the space. Just like English. Don't forget to use it!

The Marked Sisters

2010-02-16T22:03:00.006+02:00

Today's bad Hebrew tattoos feature a special bond - sisterhood. These two ladies decided to let everyone know that yes, they are in fact sisters.

Is there a better way to say "Sisters" than to spell it out on your skin in a foreign language?

The answer is yes, there probably is. There simply must be a better way to celebrate your sibling bonds than by marking your skin with misspelled Hebrew tattoos.

Those two tattoos don't say "Sisters" (in Hebrew: Achaiot), not even close. They can, however, be read as either "She was late" (Echra) or "Backwards" (Achora).

This is how you write "Sister" in Hebrew. You can see that it's somewhat similar to the tattoos above (except two letters don't match).

And this is how you write "Sisters", plural, in Hebrew. That looks very little like what the victims got inked.

The Wonky Love Triangle

2010-02-14T15:14:00.005+02:00

Today's victim went for the ever popular "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine", from Solomon's Song of Songs. You know, just like David Beckham...

We've already established in Beckham's case that this expression is unsuitable for guys, as it speaks of a male lover. But this guy went even further - he managed to misspell it terribly.

There are three incorrect letters in this tattoo, the first establishes a love triangle between his father, his male beloved and himself. The other two, mercifully, render this tattoo almost incomprehensible.

Really! This is pretty much the most common Hebrew tattoo phrase. It can be Googled-up in a second. How on earth can you get it wrong?

This is how "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine" should be properly written in Hebrew:

Remember, in Hebrew lettering every stroke counts, and many letters look similar. If two letters appear just a little bit different, there's a good chance they are actually two different letters.

Shabbat Special: The Good, The Bad and The Automatic

2010-02-13T16:32:00.005+02:00

In the Good Tattoo corner today, we have this powerful looking, tribal, Hebrew Chai (life) tattoo. I like how integrated and fitting the Chai looks in this design. Two thumbs up!

And in the corner of the weird, we have this:

The tattoo correctly says "Shame" and "Disgrace" in Hebrew. This girl obviously thinks very highly of herself.

And this, this is why you shouldn't put your faith in automatic translations with something as permanent as your tattoo:

This advert for dictionary.com offers help in several languages. The Hebrew, of course, is spelled backwards. Do you really want this kind of help?

Have a Hebrew tattoo that fits the bill for Shabbat Special? Send it in to: typotat@gmail.com to be featured here next week!

Dream of Changing Lands

2010-02-10T22:06:00.006+02:00

Sometimes Hebrew tattoos can be very weird. When your Hebrew tattoo is designed by a Korean tattoo artist, those chances soar sky high.

This lovely piece says, when you read it backwards and ignore final-form letters in mid word: The truth and lands of change on I'll dream. Bad bad bad!

Your guess is as good as mine as to what this was actually supposed to mean...

This particular Korean artist has been featured here twice before. The first time, he defined Music. Another time, he wrote a love letter. Yes, this guy is still at large, buyers beware!

Bad Purity, Good Furniture

2010-02-08T22:36:00.004+02:00

Like so many others in touch with their inner spirituality, this girl decided to get a Hebrew tattoo. The tattoo was supposed to say "Purity" in Hebrew...

And just like everyone else's, her Hebrew tattoo was rendered backwards.

However, this victim's spiritual mistake turned slightly unusual results. This particular reversed tattoo actually has a meaning of its own! Several meanings, even.

The intended word "Purity" is pronounced "Tohar" in Hebrew. Reversed, it can be read as "Rihut", which means "Furniture" or "Rahut" - the male form of "Fluent".

Unlucky? Sure. But at least it can be salvaged. If the girl adds the letter "He" to the left of her tattoo, she'll have the female form of "Fluent", which is a perfectly acceptable Hebrew tattoo, boasting her great linguistic skills. A tiny bit ironic maybe, but it beats adding the Hebrew word for "Garden", thus turning the tattoo into "Garden Furniture" and opening a new business.

I'm sure this girl feels lucky for this opportunity to expand her horizons or launch a brand new career. Really, it could be a lot worse.

And this is how "Purity" is correctly written in Hebrew, from right to left, the way it should be:

Shabbat Special: Hope, Dad, Double Mom

2010-02-06T20:56:00.005+02:00

For today's Shabbat Special, I bring you more good Hebrew tattoos!

Look at the Hebrew tattoo below, sent in by Reut. A very pretty and cheery design, integrating the Hebrew word "Tikva" - Which in English means Hope.

Picture belongs to the hebrew-tattoo facebook group

And look at this, a Hamsa tattoo sent in by Dafna. The hand looks quite realistic, and very impressive! The Hebrew word on the three middle fingers says "Aba", which means Dad.

And we'll wrap it up with something a little different. A guy who REALLY loves his mother, and is not shy about it.

This ended up in Shabbat Special, because well, the Hebrew is completely correct. It says "I love my mother" once on each leg!

Two questions arise: You love your Mom, but does Mom love this tattoo? Also, doesn't Dad deserve a leg too?

Greater Things Go Greatly Wrong

2010-02-04T21:59:00.006+02:00

Today I bring you something fresh from the oven, this disaster of a Hebrew tattoo was just inked last week!

Oh, but whatever does it say?

The guy meant his Hebrew tattoo to say "Greater Things", but he probably got his translation from either an online translator or his worst enemy. This actually says "Her Rabi Had Given" or maybe "She-Rabi Nathan".

You can kind of see how it got there. The first word has to do with magnitude, even if not in the way the victim meant, while the second word means "given", and you can give things... But really, this Hebrew tattoo is a big, silly mess.

Yes, and this is how you properly write "Greater Things" in Hebrew, even if it doesn't quite have the same flair that the expression implies in its English form:

Do I really need to repeat the warning again? I guess I do.

Never use an online translator when translating an expression from English to Hebrew. You might correctly translate a single word, but never an expression. It's nearly impossible to get right!

Believe in Dictionaries (But Only to a Degree)

2010-02-01T20:49:00.005+02:00

Does looking up the word for your Hebrew tattoo, in a dictionary, sounds like a good idea? Today's victim apparently thought so...

The girl wanted a Hebrew tattoo saying a very spiritual "believe". The resulting tattoo actually does say "believe", but it also has several extras, attached for free.

Look at the right part of the tattoo, the letter Pe in parentheses. This is the dictionary's shorthand, indicating a verb. Now look at the leftmost character of the tattoo... What do we have there, could it be an unmatched random parenthesis? Oh yeah. However did it get there?

Without all the special extras, the Hebrew tattoo saying "Believe" (as in "to believe") should look like this:

If you want your "Believe" as an order (believe!), that would be a little bit different.

The lesson of this little story should be clear - Dictionaries are alright for getting your tattoo material, but some good judgment should be applied as well. Also, if something looks like a punctuation mark - it most likely isn't an unknown ancient symbol.

Shabbat Special: Welcome the Good Hebrew Tattoos

2010-01-30T13:33:00.007+02:00

Welcome to the first Shabbat Special, the one corner of Bad Hebrew Tattoos that is not about Hebrew tattoos gone wrong!

In this new weekly corner, published every Saturday, I'll showcase Hebrew tattoos which are lovely and special, and also some bad Hebrew that isn't necessarily tattoo related.

Today's feature is a nicely rendered tattoo of the name Yosef (the Hebrew form of Joseph). See how the name is seamlessly embedded into the design? That's a good Hebrew tattoo!

Yosef tattoo is a work of Theresa Gordon Wade.

Also, behold this truly beautiful Hamsa. Hamsa, in the Jewish tradition (and several others, too) is a symbol of good luck and protection from the evil eye. I'd have to say the charm worked, as the tattoo looks really good.

Tattoo by Tyson Ward.

You should know - the good Hebrew tattoos are extremely rare. I don't mean correct Hebrew tattoos, there is plenty of that going around. I mean the genuinely good looking, thought out, beautiful tattoos. Those are a rarity.

Do you know of any Hebrew tattoo that fits the bill? Mail it to typotat@gmail.com, for a chance to be featured on BHT's Shabbat Special!

Bi-Directional Fail

2010-01-28T21:28:00.009+02:00

Today's Hebrew tattoo is just a little bit strange.

This girl either wanted to make double-sure that her tattoo is readable or just to confuse the heck out of whoever tries to read it. Whatever the explanation might be, the words are rotated in different directions: To read the first word, you need to tilt your head to the left, but to read the other two, tilt your head right.

She went to all this trouble, and still, every single word in this tattoo is written backwards!

The words by themselves are simple enough, this victim of the Hebrew language went for "Life Love Trust".

Of course, she might have meant something else entirely. Something along the lines of "Live, Love, Believe" for example, but that's just my unconfirmed guesswork.

Yes. This is how "Life Love Trust" is meant to be written in correct, right to left, Hebrew:

I'll repeat once again for the sake of the uninitiated: Hebrew language is written right-to-left. Forgetting this simple fact might bring you a skinfull of grief.

Beware of Spiritual Gematria Gibberish

2010-01-26T20:44:00.007+02:00

Today's victim has an especially spiritual Hebrew tattoo. So spiritual, in fact, that its impossible to know what he meant by it at all...

See, according to the victim, this Hebrew tattoo is supposed to have some Gematria meaning.

Gematria is the Jewish practice of converting Hebrew letters into numbers and then looking for some special meanings based on that value. This practice is of course completely bogus - you can pick and choose your results to suit your agenda, but it looks impressive enough to con the ignorant. For example, it might lead you to believe that Sarah Palin is the devil's disciple.

Back on topic, today's Hebrew tattoo is simply composed of random letters, and does not mean anything. Sure, it might convert to some number in Gematria, but who cares? In the Hebrew language this tattoo is just a pile of gibberish.

Eternally Misspelled

2010-01-24T21:14:00.010+02:00

Today's victim went in for an "Eternity" Hebrew tattoo, got a proper translation and everything. Alas, it is so very difficult to match what you see in a picture to the actual letters that come out of your keyboard...

Lovely, isn't it? Three letters, and she even managed to get one of them right. Good job!

Instead of "Netsach" (eternity in Hebrew), her tattoo says "Betsat" which means "egg of". The girl just needs to add "surprise", and her tattoo will take a much tastier turn...

One of the mistakes is the same one that brought to the downfall of Wise Guy from previous post, with the Hebrew letters Tav and Het which are somewhat similar to each other.

The other mistake, however, is far stranger. The Hebrew letters Bet and Nun look nothing alike!

And this is how you correctly write "Eternity" in Hebrew:

Remember boys and girls, when mapping your Hebrew letters from a picture - it's important to get an exact match. Kinda-sorta matching is not good enough when your skin is on line!

So You Think You're Wise?

2010-01-22T20:32:00.005+02:00

Self confidence is very important. If you think highly of yourself, you need to let everyone know! Like today's victim. He went for a Hebrew tattoo that was supposed to say "Wisdom":

Unfortunately, and quite ironically, this "Wisdom" tattoo is misspelled. In Hebrew wisdom is "Chokhma", but this guy spelled it as "Tokhma" instead. I'd say this is a rather stupid mistake.

This is what went wrong:

The letters Tav and Het look a bit similar, but they're not the same, and definitely not interchangeable! Maybe our wise guy is simply in need of a new pair of reading glasses?

And to wrap things up, this is how you correctly write "Wisdom" in Hebrew:

The Girl with the Drunk Tattoo

2010-01-19T22:28:00.013+02:00

Check out this party girl's ink! She wanted a Hebrew tattoo saying "Celebrate Life", and somehow ended up with this:

At first glance it appears to be just random gibberish. However, closer study shows this to be a very confused rendition of the drinking toast "L'Chaim", which in Hebrew means "To Life!".

Celebrating life with a drink is all well and good, but I'd advise against getting Hebrew tattoos while under the influence.

Trust me, when the room is spinning, that's not the best time to either get or give a tattoo. You might get stuck with something really embarrassing. Like a drinking toast. With randomly rotated letters. Written backwards.

Just so you can compare, this is how you're supposed to write "L'Chaim" (To Life) in Hebrew: