Bad Personal Ads

On Ice

2009-02-11T18:21:24Z

Thanks to everyone who's been reading here! I'm going to be putting this blog on hold for a couple of months while I work on some other projects and find a format that works better for me, but feel free to stay subscribed to the feed since it will stay the same when I pick it back up again.

See you this summer!

You did not just say that.

2009-01-05T16:09:14Z

My favorite part is how he starts out by saying he's not going to stereotype people who live in rural areas. Saying it, unfortunately, does not make it so.

I wont stereotype those of you who live further away from the city, Im sure you are interesting and have great hearts, but I seem to share more in common with the urban crowd. Im not looking to move into a big house on a big piece of land away from society to raise a litter of children.

I don't think I'm asking for too much, he says?

2009-01-03T16:03:37Z

There is a positive, thoughtful way to say everything he says. The fact that he didn't do it that way speaks volumes. Perhaps a month long vacation in a slow moving place with serene views and non-spicy food would help. Just chill, let go of the bitterness...

I'm looking for someone who is First of all faithful. If you have a bad habit of cheating no matter how well you are treated (in every way) then please move along. I don't go out to clubs. I've been there, done that got the T-shirt and moved on. besides people in clubs aren't real they only seem to live for the right now instead of looking ahead. I'm looking for a lady that likes to keep in shape. Big beautiful ladies, you are great but it's not what i'm looking for. I'm looking for Beautiful, smart, trustworthy, classy, and a bit naughty. I don't think i'm asking for too much. what do you think?

Not everyone is a good speller.

2009-01-02T16:22:11Z

It's fine if you're not a great speller. It would, however, be better if you used a spellchecker on (at least) the title of your personal ad. Especially if the ad itself isn't half bad, like this one, it's a shame to have that first impression getting in the way.

Elegant sarcasim

the arbor cinema, dance, black nails, Guiness, hair that smells good, sticking my feet in cold water, dog sitting. staying up late, trying to wake up later.trying new teas, sharing music,real lemonade with real lemons and real sugar.mixed media+instalation art.

Now you're scaring me

2009-01-01T16:08:50Z

If it's best left for later, why is it in your ad? Are you trying to tell people they should have some boundaries? That begins at home, sir.

Remember, one person's kink is another's fetish is another's perfectly normal erotic behavior, so that's probably something best left discussed for later. And we all have things to hide and skeletons in our closet - who doesn't in this day and age. Anything short of felony convictions can probably be saved for the second date, right? Besides, I have details of my own best not publicized to the world!

Guys, if you answer this ad, you deserve whatever you get.

2008-12-31T19:08:28Z

I don't think every personal ad has to be relentlessly bland and cheery. There's a place for the strange, the odd, and the complex. But with this woman's, it's like when a girl can tell a guy is a Bad Boy, dates him anyway, and then can't understand why he's not a very good boyfriend. Any man who answers this ad has been warned.

I don't know what I'm looking for, and I don't know why I filled this thing out. It mostly is killing time while it's so cold outside.

I have not met very many people since I moved here. I spend most of my time working and doing art at home. I live with a lot of people, I own a dog who is the love of my life. (try to beat that!)
It would be nice to go on a date or something but my broken heart has kind of given up on anything real. [...]

I'm naughty and a bitch, I'm probably some poor boy (or girls) nightmare. But that's only if I'm feeling manic. And from time to time that does happen. But the truth is, I am me, and I would only want to meet people who would like to know me for who I am. So piss off if you only want to get laid. Unless your super hot. Haha, see I can be just as shallow as the next person.

Do I think anything will come of this? No. But what's the harm?

And I would say that I'd rather not be sold, purchased, owned, consumed, or stored in a refrigerated space.

2008-12-30T16:16:25Z

Are ya just not thinking, dude?

I would say I'm looking for that woman that is like a special vintage wine. The one you never get rid of no matter how much money is offered to you . You keep it forever slowly savoring it's flavor. Taking a sip here and there but never emptying the bottle.

You know when you make a joke and then you have to explain it...

2008-12-29T16:04:29Z

And then the joke isn't funny anymore? Something similar is going on here.

Exceptional Taste That's Never Filling

Hello! I stole my headline from the banner ad for Budweiser Select. But I do truly have exceptional taste. Not so sure about the filling part.

Why do I need all this backstory?

2008-12-28T16:08:05Z

Did he think women were out there warning each other away from him because he used to be a playa?

I have been on this system for some time and have had my experimental moments. I must say that I have enjoyed the times I have had with the few individuals I have met in person. No regrets. I am now ready for something different. Something special. [...] After seeking relationships that were not as engaging, I am now ready for something more meaningful with someone special.

Really, that's it?

2008-12-27T16:06:52Z

I'm pretty sure you have a couple more preferences than this, right?

If you enjoy sunshine and cheap wine then I think we might be a pretty good match.

You had me until that last part

2008-12-26T16:12:34Z

Is that quote supposed to be positive? Also, typo.

Well, I guess I would say I am a good guy at heart. I have many friends, a great family, and the perfect dog.(well, almost perfect) I am looking to meet someone that enjoys life and wants to share all that it has to offer. The reason why I am on here is simple. Why Not? "The definition of insanity is someone that keeps doing the samething and expecting different results."

The trouble with one stop shopping

2008-12-24T18:06:17Z

There are personals sites where you can search for more than one kind of connection - friends, relationships, casual sex.

If you're going to look for more than one of these at a time, then for the love of Pete write a separate profile for your relationships search and your sex search! I should not be finding something like this if I'm only looking in relationships ads:

Sexy white male seeks sexy white female to play with on a regular basis. Must have great personal hygeine and smell wonderful all of the time.

Do you think you're going to find something good by walking up to a girl in a bar and saying "Well I'm here for booty, but you look like we could have a good conversation"?

And if you'd followed this with testimonials from these "other people," it might have worked.

2008-12-23T16:05:23Z

It doesn't even quite make sense - who's to say that the other people invoked actually have anything new to say? In any event, given that this is the entire ad, does this read as anything other than coy? And not in a good way.

I don't like to describe myself, I like when other people speak about me... this way you can always discover something new.

He's a professional, you're an ornament

2008-12-22T14:37:20Z

I have a hard time expressing how much sexism is embedded in this personal ad.

Beautiful bounced along the mall. Thoughts of her past weekend with Psychologist danced in her head. Their weekends were always a whirlwind of friends, road trips, Psychologist playing in coffee shops, and, of course, romance!

Ah but Tuesdays! Psychologist would cook exotic dinners and they’d curl on the couch afterwards and watch a movie. Last Tuesday, Beautiful fell asleep during the movie, still exhausted from the weekends excitement. Psychologist lovingly carried her to the bedroom and gently prepared her for slumber as she slept. In the slightly drafty bedroom, they cuddled under the covers all snuggly and cozy.

Beautiful awoke from her thoughts as she was almost strutting past her destination. On a whim, she called and left a message on Psychologist’s phone teasing him with what she was going to get at Victoria’s Secret for their upcoming weekend together. She knew he was with patients but she mainly just wanted to hear his low deep voice on the recording.

She was REALLY excited about this weekend! Still …

….she was looking forward to Tuesday.

You're either a submissive, or this is bait for collecting personal ad responses.

2008-12-21T16:09:11Z

I mean, seriously? A woman posted this?

I, having a killing beautiful body, sexy deep green eyes and a very open-minded and easy to go nature, am desperately looking for a guy to make him happy:)