Baked in Vancouver

One Phone Call to Calm Them All, One Phone Call to Bring Back Sanity...

2012-01-17T21:50:00.000-08:00

Ever have one of those days?
You know, those days when you wake up after a restless sleep, and as each hour passes, your stress and anxiety level make your hair turn greyer by the second. With each new email, phone call and text - you can't see the light at the end of any tunnel. In fact, if there was a tunnel around you would lay down smack dab in the middle of it and wait for the next car to come through. And drive over you.
That kind of day.

This month has been "that kind of day" for me. With every week, I have been challenged in all aspects of life. From constant work issues, to being away from home, to missing my (now a cat) kitten - and then some, I have become one big bubble that was bound to burst at any given moment.

When I got some news today on the home front that pushed me over the edge, the build up of the last month forced me to turn into a raging ball of emotion, unleashing on everything an everyone around me (much to the dismay of anyone within ear range, or within text range for that matter). One the final day of my longest work trip ever, I was ready to walk outside in the -40 temperatures of Edmonton, and sit in the snow bank. Eventually, my tears would have turned me into a giant ice cube, which would then be covered with snow and forgotten about. At 6pm this sounded like the perfect plan.

Enter a phone call from my bestie in Ontario.

2 hours later, and I am smiling alone in my hotel room. We talked about how eating chia seeds from the Bulk Barn would help us lose weight, we planned a kick ass Whistler getaway for when she arrives in February. We talked about everything that made me want to explode, and then somehow ended up rolling around laughing alone on my hotel bed.
One phone call took away a months worth of frustration, like it never even happened. Sure tomorrow it could all collapse again, perhaps my plane will be delayed and I will be forced to stay another night in the hotel where the room service knows me by name and knows that I like my diet pop in a regular sized glass, as opposed to a wine glass (who does that?) -- but you know something? I will be able to get through it.

And THIS is why you need to have friends. You need to put the effort in to keep people in your life who can bring you back to reality, when all you want to do is smash your head off any hard surface. Someone to talk about a topic 75 times over and never get tired of it, until some form of a resolution has been concluded, even if that resolution is to drink 16 bottles of wine and then smash the empties over my head one by one. If I didn't have someone like that to turn too, you'd likely not hear form me again until spring rolls around and my cube of tears thawed out, revealing a (hopefully thin) grey-haired, mascara smeared girl.

I often say that I don't like talking on the phone - but when you have the right person on the other end, there is nothing better to get you through those times that you feel you wouldn't otherwise be able too.

@loveyourcake & @sarahspizzie

So here's to all the bullshit - may your presence be replaced with thought of chia pets growing in my stomach. And for anyone else having a bad day, pick up the phone and talk about anything else. You will not only breathe a sigh of relief once you hang up, but you may also only need 15 bottles to cope when you get off the plane...

I need it to be summer because...

2012-01-15T20:20:00.000-08:00

For the last few months, Bf had been taking the Canadian Boating License course in a night school class on Thursdays. He would gather his books, and maps of places that didn't exist - and head out for 3 hours after work. This was all in an effort to pass the test, and become our very own personal "Shrimp Boat Captain"...mmmm. shrimp.

Ok, so maybe a shrimp boat wasn't exactly what he had in mind...

Regardless of what kind of boat he'd be captaining, he was on a mission.
So low and behold, after tediously studying for the final exam..

HE PASSED THE TEST WITH FLYING COLOURS!!!!!

Now, I cannot wait for summer so that I don't have to pay $100+ every time I want to go whale watching. I asked him if we could just live on a boat, and maybe take off and sail (or motor) the open seas. Although it sounds like a good idea - the actuality of it would probably lose it's appeal pretty quick. Either way, I'm very excited about the prospect of being able to take off on the open waters, and finally experience what it's like to zip up and around the coast without the hustle and bustle of a ferry ride - and if we happen to ~~stalk~~ ~~chase whale watchers~~ see any whales or other sea life, well then EVEN BETTER!

OH HAI THERE!!

Congrats to bf for all his hard work, and let's get this winter business over with so I can be where I love to be the most - near water. You don't get a fish tattoo unless you really like to fish - so this girl can't think of a better gift from a bf, then to be out on the open seas, surrounded by lord knows what underneath us.

As long as it's not a great white on the other end of the line, this will all have been worth it...

GOOD WORK BF!!! XOXOX!!!

"A Book A Week For A Year" Book #1 Review: The Night Circus

2012-01-06T21:12:00.000-08:00

My 2012 New Years Resolution is to read one book per week, even if it means having to catch up on Grey's Anatomy on the weekends. I spend far too much time watching TV, and have never been an avid reader.

This year that changes. And the change has already begun...

For book #1, I started with a book that bf got me for Christmas, entitled "The Night Circus" by Erin Morgenstern. Apparently, while bf was browsing at Chapters, a lady ran over to him and told him that he 'HAD TO GET' this book and that it was 'ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!' -- so that's what he did. After a week of reading, I have come to the end, and I have to say....she was right.

This book is not just amazing, it's like reading the script of a movie I would pay money to see.

"There is so much that glows in the circus, from flames

to lanterns to stars. I have heard the expression "trick of

the light" applied to sights within Le Cirque des Reves

so frequently that I sometimes suspect the entirety of the

circus is itself a complex illusion of illumination.

-Friedrick Thiessen, 1894"

The story starts out setting the scene. The authors way of depicting scenery and smells made me feel like I was about to walk into a real circus - and head straight over to the caramel apple booth. In my mind, I could visualize the tents and the performers. There was even mention of kittens at one point, and that's when I knew I was sold.

Celia Bowen is a young girl who has just lost her mother to suicide, and is sent to live with her father, Prospero the Enchanter.
Marco Alisdair is an orphaned child, who is taken in by a mystery gentleman - the man in the grey suit - with seemingly no emotions of any sort.
The two are connected, through a bond like no other - and with the help of a cast of characters unlike any other, they embark on the most amazing journey that one could only wish to have in their lives.

The characters surrounding Celia and Marco take on a life of their own, and I felt connected to each one in a different way from the moment they were introduced. As I read each page, the descriptive story line and intricate mixing of the characters made it feel like I was watching them with my own eyes. Like I could buy a ticket to the circus and run in to tell them things they needed to know.

As the story unfolds, there is a dual of sorts that will not only change the direction of the story altogether -- but ultimately pulls you deeper and deeper into their twisted world. I normally struggle to enjoy anything set in 1800-1900's, but this book is just that. Between the train travels, and the simplicity of the language and storyline - I had the feeling that if I were to meet any of these characters in real life, we would be bff. Especially the ones who can alter appearance -- who wouldn't love a friend that could get rid of your grey roots just by willing it to happen? No one. That's who.

Each character plays a role in the upcoming battle between two people who have been raised solely for the purpose of this event, but with a dramatic turn - everything begins to fall apart, much to my dismay. I had imagined myself being at the dinner parties, and standing in front of the amazing, colour changing and dreamlike Wunschtraum clock. As someone who has had an admiration for timepieces for the past 10+ years - this aspect of the book made it all the better.

If you are looking for a book that has you craving page after page, trust me when I say that you do not want to miss this one. The Night Circus will undoubtedly be seen on the big screen in years to come, and I hope that the author decides to continue in the future and allow us insight into the lives of the characters I have grown so fond of in such a short period of time.

As for the author herself, she can be found on Twitter at @ErinMorgenstern and when I had to tell her just how in love with her writing I was, she was very humble and thanked me for reading. The connection with the book was amplified by the pride of it's writer - and I hope that many other people take the time to not only relive childhood fantasies through the chapters, but also appreciate just how descriptive a story the author has managed to tell.

**Next week is Book #2 - Dead Sky Morning by Karina Halle. It's book #3 in a series that I started last year, and I am anxious to see how my lovely Perry and sexy Dex are doing on the hunt for footage in their Expirement of Terror.

Stay Tuned for another review!!

2012: The end of the world, or the end of bitching? Either way, it'll be a quiet one.

2012-01-04T20:25:00.000-08:00

So I don't pay much attention to people who say the world is going to end this year. I never watched the movie "2012", even though John Cusak is in it. I don't have a bucket list that would need to be accomplished by any certain date. There is absolutely nothing different about this physical year, then any of the years before it.

There are, however, a few major differences that have nothing to do with the year as a number. 2012, is just that. It's just a number. As a child, when I thought of the year 2012, I pictured something similar to the Jetson's. Flying around in cars, living in space - having an elevator that takes me up to my condo...
oh wait...

The actual reality of 2012, is that it's just another year. Another year for me to say I want to lose weight (while eating everything), and another year where I continue to wallow in my own self-pity for being a spinster who has to watch all her friends spit out babies and exchange vow after vow. 2012 is already shaping up to be as ~~baby-making~~ ~~wedding-gift getting~~ action-packed as 2011 was, and I welcome it with open arms.

I have decided this year, that my resolutions need to be attainable. Clearly, the weight loss goal is a load of bullshit, and I like cake too much to be skinny. I needed to set goals that won't make me cry myself to sleep or make me feel like a disappointment. That is why this year, my resolutions are simple. In no particular order, my 2012 will be summed up kinda like this:

1) Read one book a week, for 52 weeks.
I never read. Only when I have too, or when a friend of mine writes a book and I want to be supportive. I always see people with books in their hands, and when I see them reading as I watch tv or browse my cell phone for stimulation - I get jealous. I know how to read - so it's not like they have a one-up on me, but I could never bring myself to commit to one book. Since school, I have probably read less books then I can count on my hand(s).
That all ends this year.
This year, I will not only read a book a week - but I will blog about my book, in something I invented called "A BOOK CLUB" --- what was that? those already exist? well... not to worry. I'm not upset, because this brings us along to my second resolution of the year....

2) JUST BE HAPPY.
Fuck.
I am guilty of never being totally happy, and it's starting to wear on my old body. Even when I've been "happy" in the past, there has always been an underlying layer of jealousy, an inferior feeling that I couldn't shake. I would come home from work as happy as a pig in shit, and upon seeing a sink full of dishes and a bf sleeping on the couch - I would lose my mind.
"WHY ARE YOU SO LAZY?"
"WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME ENOUGH TO DO DISHES?"
"WHY AREN'T WE MARRIED YET?!?!?"
"YOU HATE ME"
"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
And I'm sure that's exactly how it sounded, had someone actually been paying attention. The reason no one paid attention? Well that's simple. The things I was unhappy about, were stupid. I can admit it. I hope bf doesn't read this, because then he'll know he was right - but I need to come to terms with the fact that dishes don't equate to love or happiness. The sick part about it all, is I LIKE CLEANING. So why am I so mad? Good question. And because I can't answer that question, I have decided that 2012 is the year to just be happy.

So that's it.
No unreal expectations, no silly goals that by January 28th, 2012 will have me eating my words.

Although......with these resolutions, eating my words would be considered alright....
I'm liking this already.

What's your resolution?

Christmas Baking Blog Series: {Gingerbread Men - The Photoshoot}

2011-12-14T21:06:00.000-08:00

Warning: DO NOT start decorating Gingerbread men at 2am.
It's addicting.

Gingerbread Santa's got a lot of balls.
get it?

The Lisa Simpson of Gingerbread men - or as she'd have it, "women"
know it all.

Can you spot the x-rated one?
I call him "Gingerbread Adam"

I bake for my employees at work so they'll like me.
x-rated ones not included.

Still gingerbread, just less man-shaped.
Frosty appears to be melting... oops...

Goodie Bag gingerbread men for my birthday soiree this weekend.
No one goes home lonely on my birthday

;)

Booze: The Key to a Merry Christmas

2011-12-14T17:53:00.000-08:00

Of course I am talking about booze.

What else is there?

Family?
Love?
Giving gifts of love to family?
Pffffffft......

From Brandy to Baileys, or boxed wine to champagne - the last 3 weeks of December are usually soaked up enough to send anyone into AA on the first day of the New Year.

First up is my birthday on the 18th. Every year is better then the next, because I can never seem to remember the one from the year previous. This year should be amazing, as I can't even begin to tell you what my 28th was like ~~since I blacked out~~ ~~since I'm too old to remember things~~ -- I just know it was great.

Then comes Christmas. Egg nog and punch and wines of all kind! My mom loves her wine, and I have developed the same taste for that potent bottle of grapes turned into magic juice. Whether it be red or white, any and all natural wine is welcome in my home (and bloodstream) on this joyous day.

New Years - I don't even need to say more then whoever doesn't have a drink to cheers and spill all over each other, as we hug when the clock strikes twelve o'clock - is a loser. At least have a glass in your hand. Also, for those single people out there, a little bubbly makes it that much easier to get that lucky kiss at midnight. If it sounds like I'm saying getting drunk makes people easy - it's because, well, I am and it does. Google it.

So whatever your drink of choice is this season, please drink responsibly and DO NOT for the love of god get behind the wheel. We all know it's bad, so let's all just cut the bullshit excuses and take a taxi.

Merry "Pah-tay" Christmas To All, and too all a good night!

Even Tiny Tim, but somebody needs to check that kid's ID before he gets any nog.....

Princess Toadstool - The 1st (of many) Blog Posts

2011-12-08T17:53:00.000-08:00

I would like to direct you to the right side of your screen
---------------------->
If you've ever taken the time to read my profile, I proclaimed myself a crazy-cat lady who didn't own a cat.

UNTIL NOW!!!!

Not only do I have that reason to update my bio, but in less then 2 weeks I will also be turning 29. I'm surprisingly alright with this, being that there is still a "2" in front of the number. Check in with me a year from now and I might be ~~committed~~ ~~having a nervous breakdown~~ not taking things as calmly.

Back to the cat, because seriously who cares about ANYTHING when there's talk of a cat.

I had been bugging bf for 5 years to get a pet I could watch tv with. Turtles are great and all, except that they're not the best at snuggling. In fact, they absolutely suck at it. So this year, for my birthday - I was on a mission.

Operation Get Bf to get me a Cat had begun, and I went into full swing. We also got whiskey (which I highly suggest for those trying obtain a certain gift this year). One thing leads to another and I'm googling kittens in vancouver. Next thing you know, I'm emailing a lady in Richmond about coming to see kittens. The very next day, I met bf after work and we were heading to HOLD KITTENS. I WAS GETTING SO EXCITED AT THE THOUGHT OF HOLDING KITTENS -- AND THEN HE STOPPED AT THE BANK!!!!
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I knew what was about to happen, and within two hours time I was sitting at home with my new, adorable 8 week old baby kitten.
LIKE WHAT?!
She was obviously timid, but I obviously ~~smothered her~~ ~~wouldn't leave her alone~~ let her explore on her own. She slept a bunch, and snuggled some and 3 days in I can already say that I am complete. For the moment, anyways. Bf now has kitty leverage on me - and he knows it. But, for the moment, I will comply...

After all, who can be mad when there's a kitten in the room? That's right. Crazy people.

And now, adorably introducing, Toad!!

Holiday Baking Blog Series: Easy {and long over due} Tiramisu!

2011-12-04T18:40:00.000-08:00

Perfect dessert for the holidays, especially when you hang out with a bunch of boozers, such as myself.

Even for the non-boozers in your life, this amazingly quick to make 'misu is always as delicious as each time before. The recipe is by Monica, who is an employee of a friend of mine. The employees were all asked to contribute a favourite recipe, and it's easy to see why Monica chose this one. Of all the Christmas Party food ideas out there, this will make your guests think you are a better baker then you are - mostly because there's no baking involved!

Here we go.

The Things You Will Need To Buy Before Starting:

3 eggs

1 cup white sugar

1 container of mascarpone cheese

1/2 litre of strong brewed coffee at room temp. (i like hazelnut)

2 table spoons of rum (i use Appletons Spiced)

3 packages of ladyfinger cookies

cocoa powder

1 litre of whipping cream (liquid form)

{STEP ONE}

whisk together egg and sugar until well blended.

add mascarpone cheese and beat until smooth using an electric mixer.

whip the cream until stiff and firm, using the same mixer.

mix together the whipped cream with the first mixture, using a spoon (slow motion)

until you have something like this:

{STEP TWO}

combine coffee and rum.

Immerse the ladyfingers, one at a time, into the coffee mixture

DIP THEM VERY QUICKLY! (that parts important)

Arrange 1/3 of the soaked ladyfingers in the bottom of a dish.

spread 1/3 of the whipped mixture over ladyfingers.

sprinkle layer with cocoa (i use a sifter to get an even coat)

like so:

{STEP THREE}

Repeat this step as many times as your dish allows.

Layer after layer.

Just like this:

and more whipped mix:

and then more cocoa:

{STEP FOUR}

Once you have run out of supplies and reach the top of you dish, stop.

Cover dish.

{STEP FIVE}

Put in fridge for 24-48 hours.

I usually do 48 hours, and it comes out like a slice of cake when it's done.

SO GOOD.

TRUST ME.

You're welcome.

Day Five: The #Foreverfit Blog Series {Hello, Taste?!}

2011-11-25T19:58:00.000-08:00

Let's start out by saying that I can't even believe I can actually write this blog, KNOWING that I have NOT cheated once in the last 5 days. I'm not sure what made this time so different then all the other "giant fail Mondays" in the past, but I am in it for the long haul.

Kira and I have been blandly eating our way through the week, every 3 hours or so during the day - although I'm sometimes not sure if it's me just breathing, or actually eating, since the food tastes like air. This meal plan is designed to put you on the track, of ~~never enjoying another meal again~~ starting to eat healthy on a regular basis. I have done it so many times in the last 3 years, that I have to admit that I have modified some nights, still using the same foods but in different orders.

So far this week, I have been able to suppress the inevitable cravings of chips, candy and what not (mostly because I went full out on Sunday, as if my mouth were the trick or treat bag of a kid who lived in a generous neighbourhood on Hallowe'en) but there have been a few moments that I know will stay with me through the next 23 days.

I guess I should just come right out and say I have a ketchup problem. I love that shit. Always have. On everything but eggs, ketchup works. All of this boring and tasteless food that makes me skinny would be 10 gajillion times better if it were introduced to this sexy fellow:

I'm not sure why Heinz can't figure out a healthy way to do make this tasty treat, but the fact that they haven't done it yet makes me believe that it truly is one tomato to 4 pounds of sugar, dyed red. Mmmm...dyed sugar.....*drool*

Speaking of sugar, and the fact that on Friday's I normally partake in an activity I call #drunkinyvr where I consume various amounts of beverages that make the worries of the week disappear. I understand that booze is not on the list of preferred drinks, but as I walked past these happy looking bottles, I couldn't help but want to lose my shit and smash them all on the floor. How's that for self control?

Instead of doing that, I ate this:

Doesn't that look like much more fun? No? Good eye. HELLO, TASTE? SERIOUSLY, WHY YOU NO TASTE GOOD BUT BE SO GOOD FOR ME? The sweet potato is misleading, the asparagus needs cheese, and a salt less chunk of dead cow. ~~MMMMMM~~. Gag.

Today at work, I was raging against the wrap that took 3 bites to eat and left me feeling like I had just been given a prize and then had it taken away. Complaining about a chicken wrap may seem ridiculous, and I assure you that it is - but as a former 250 pounder, my brain always wants to eat the MAC. ALWAYS.

Tonight - there was no Mac. There was no ketchup. There was no bottle of vodka, that I could pretend was alright because it looked so much like water. No, no.

Tonight, there was this:

MERRY CHRISTMAS ME.
annnnd lumps of coal, for my taste buds.

Meanwhile, Kira has been diligently staying close to the meal plan - which for a first-timer I would definitely recommend using to help get used to the new foreign foods called "vegthablaes"....or something like that....

She has hilariously outlined her Day 5, and the infamous lunch of "Satan's tears" ...click here to read all the ~~delicious~~ details!

23 days to go, and the fun ~~never existed~~ is never ending. *insert eye roll here*

Now if I could just get off my ass and burn one calorie, we might just be onto something here...

Lost and Found Parlour: Working Stylish Miracles since 2011

2011-11-24T20:12:00.000-08:00

THIS WAS ME...

Ok, so maybe that wasn't exactly me -- but it was pretty damn close.

For the last year, I have been growing out my "once bobbed" haircut, and every 4-6 weeks I was a slave to the grocery store hair dye. Trying to maintain some kind of hair with life basically became mission impossible. With the addition of grey roots, I would frequently tell my boyfriend that he should just accept the fact he was dating a 28 yr old Grandmother.

Enter Lost & Found Parlour and the amazing Katie-Rose.

(aka the cutest place you'll ever your hair done)

Photos on the wall demonstrate Katie's amazing talent,
which starts to become very apparent from the minute you walk in.
From her welcoming & easy going personality - to her few simple questions
that allow her to start to devise a master plan...

This worked well because the only plan I had was "Don't look like the girl from The Ring"

The adorable decor made me feel like I was at a photoshoot in a vintage hair salon,
and I couldn't resist taking a few quick photos as we began the 5-6 hour process of restoring
what I had spent the last year ruining daily.

When you're sitting in a chair for that long, there's nothing like some excellent

conversation to keep the time moving. Katie-Rose has the ability to keep the

talk going as she works her magic, and she was as excited as I was about

what was about to come...

After the first step of removing the black, she moved onto getting the foils in,

and whatever else had to happen in order to get rid of the mistakes I had made.

I didn't have a specific colour in mind, I just left it up to Katie Rose to take me

where I needed to be.

Trust + Hair stylist goes hand in hand.

For those who aren't on a diet, Lost and Found Parlour offers a choice of

beer & wine AND will even eat cookies in front of you while you are stuck

in a chair under her complete control.

ISN'T SHE PRECIOUS?!

(I dreamt about that cookie....as I slept standing up as not to ruin my new do)

TA-DA!!

The final product.

I was FREAKING out when it was all said and done, and I don't think I could have paid/hugged/thanked her enough for the outcome. I was so impressed, and just trust me when I say that for the time put in - the cost was, by far, better then I have EVER paid at another salon.

Good-bye Black, and HELLO actual dimension and style!

WHO KNEW it was hiding there this whole time!!

I can't recommend this girl enough - so you will just have to go and see her for yourself!

She books between Tuesday - Saturday, and you can contact her at the Lost and Found Parlour website, or also check out Katie-Rose's incredible transformations on her Facebook page, "Hair by Katie-Rose". She is also a fellow Tweeter, and is more then willing to take appointments via tweet if that's more your style, via @hairbykatierose or @LFHairParlour.

Thank-You Katie-Rose for making me feel pretty for the day!

See you again when the greys come out to play...

28 days: The #Foreverfit Blog Series {FIRST POST}

2011-11-22T16:11:00.000-08:00

In an effort to not be mistaken for Santa this Christmas season, Kira and I are on a mission.
It's not to find kittens.
It's not to listen to LMFAO Champagne Showers more times then it's been viewed on youtube (mainly bc we've already done that...)

The mission we are on is #FOREVERFIT. We are going to take the next 28 days off from the likes of junk food and booze (*tear*) and focus on getting our pants back on. And by that, I mean our skinny pants.

The Before Shots (or something like that)

This will take ~~a human life~~ a lot of will power, BUT WE WILL DO THIS. Between food and exercise (of the mild variety due to actual, not a lie, medical conditions), it will get done, one way or another.

We have decided to blog and tweet our way through this so you can make fun of us if we fail (which we ~~will~~ ~~might~~ won't). We were each going to start off with our own, but when Kira sent me her first instalment, I couldn't have said it better myself.

So here we go:

"Yo-yo dieting: it doesn't work.

Fact.

Which is why I'm so excited that Candice and I are not going to be doing that. We are going to be changing our eating habits; not going on a cleanse for a few weeks or drinking maple syrup and jalapeno water until we want to wretch rainbows (classy, right?).

We are going to embark on something magical, where we take ourselves from mcchicken-craving, candy-driven, pringles junkies into ..well, people with respectable eating habits. We're going to stop ourselves from going down the chip aisle of the grocery store, and we're going to curb our wanton desires for nasty carbs and trans fats at any (ie: every) waking moment.

Today we start #foreverfit bootcamp.

Today we go back to giving a shit about our health, and what we put in our pie holes (god, I wish it was going to be pie).

This all started last week, when I was complaining on twitter how I needed a running buddy, and Candice shoved her twitterface in mine proclaiming loudly that she'd be the one to join me. I squealed like a little girl, we laughed, we plotted. We agreed we'd use the meal plans and fitness regime she'd learned awhile ago after being on "The Last 10 Pounds" show, and have at it.

And here we are: day one.. and I'm scared shitless.

The idea of a bootcamp is always scary, but moreso because now we're sharing all of this with everyone. You get to marvel in our journey from lazy girls who shove face with take-out while drinking beer and watching hockey after work to *gasp* - energized ladies who.. drink beer and watch hockey after work. Okay, we can't all be perfect. But if we're going to change our eating habits to prawn stirfrys and bran buds (what in the hell is a bran bud? I don't even..) then we need to at least still be able to relax with a beer and watch our beloved Canucks, right? Right?? This is where Candice laughs in my face and points towards the treadmill, and I sob uncontrollably while I do crunches.

Moving on, I'm super excited to have someone to do this with, and I'm so thankful to Candice for sharing her juicy insider info with me. I was about to spend another 8 months eating chicken breasts and steamed veggies for lunch and dinner every day, but I'm glad she is about to smarten me the eff up with her nutritional fountain of knowledge.

So onwards we go - follow us on twitter for all the gory details like complaining how badly we want a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, and how we can feel ourselves jiggle when we run, and how many sports bras we need to wear to keep our boobs from punching us in the face. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope you aren't offended by swearing - because I'm pretty sure I'm going to be cursing my very existence as of my first night back at the gym."

--@kixy_stabbs

See what I mean? There's basically no better way to sum up what's about to happen, so stay tuned and we will put up posts when we don't feel like murdering people. OK, so maybe we'll have to put those feelings aside otherwise this will be the only post. Kira will also be posting her daily rage updates on her website, so be sure to head over there too!

GO TEAM #FOREVERFIT.

If you can't beat us, then join us. The more people in pain and suffering, the merrier we will be.

This Thing Called Twitter...

2011-11-18T22:08:00.000-08:00

There's been many times when I have met people off of Twitter, and they act like I have some sort of importance because of the number of followers I have. Then there's me, on the other side of the coin, who is so nervous that I probably changed outfits 76 times before going to meet these people. Just because people follow other people on Twitter, it doesn't mean that the person they are following has any kind of special power, or is better then the next person -- it's just the fickleness that Twitter has become.

There is almost a hierarchy, especially amongst the different major metropolis areas across Canada. I say Canada because that's where I live, so it's who I interact with the most. I'm not biased to Canadians, although I would have to admit that if I see someone is from the Vancouver area, I tend to follow right away.

The way that I decide who to follow on Twitter is simple: if you entertain me, I will follow you. If you keep me informed on the latest celebrity gossip? I'll probably follow you. If you make me spit my coffee out of my mouth because I can't believe something that funny could fit in 140 characters? You are a shoo in. (I had to google that)

Anyways, there really is no reason behind why someone gets a lot of followers, or a little bit of followers, and I guess the Twitter experience is different for everyone. For the people who have asked me how my account has grown over the years, I can only speak from my own experience. I am no wizard of the tweets, so whatever I have to say about the subject should be taken as nothing more then someone who has had too much Coors Light and is finally feeling confident enough to address this question.

So here are my Top 5 things I think make a solid Twitter account, in no particular order:

1. COMMUNICATION - In the words of Ace Ventura, "You must THINK like zee dolphin, you must be getting INSIDE zee dolphins head and COMMUNICATE!" He truly summed it up for you right there. To get other people to connect with you, you have to interact with them. If you think that a certain tweet was hilarious? tell the other person. Have a laugh about it. Chances are, if you thought it was funny - there's more good material where that came from. Following costs nothing, so it's not like you have anything to lose.

2. DON'T HAVE A PITY PARTY - That is what Facebook "status update" is for. You know, the people who you actually know in real life, and who can actually pick up the phone or come over and comfort you. Those are the people you lay the pity party on. But Twitter? no. People come there to have a laugh, or escape the people they actually know. So stop your bitching, and tell me about the funny thing your boss just did when he thought no one was looking.

3. BE YOURSELF - I feel like a high school guidance counsellor, but seriously - just be yourself. If you swear, then swear on Twitter. If you talk like a truck driver? Good. We like that even more. Oh, you bake cookies? Give me that recipe that's posted on your blog. Funny spin on the recipe? Now I follow your blog too...see where I'm going with this? If someone enjoys you, then they will want to connect with you - or in language you will better understand, #theywillfollowyou

4. NO ONE or TWO WORD ANSWERS - How boring. Who wants to read one word? If I wanted to read one word at a time, I'd do crosswords or word search instead of tweeting. If you're trying to gain more followers, have a conversation like you would in real life. If I met you on the street and said to you;
"Ohh - don't you just LOVE the Twilight Saga? Edward can sparkle for me anytime.."
and you replied back to me,
"Team Jacob"
........
We're done here.

5. DON'T TRY TO IMPRESS ANYONE - Tweet as though no ones watching. It seems like the main times I gain more followers or get retweeted, is when I tweet some random thoughts that I was under the impression would only make sense to me. I never thought I'd have over 44,000 of those randoms thoughts in a 2 year period, but it is what it is. I tweet whatever I am thinking and I don't sugar coat it. This may not work for everyone, especially if you think about killing animals or something, but it works for most people (from what I've seen.)

I hope I have shed some light on my own personal experience, and if it comes in handy to anyone then BONUS, but if not - at least I can send out a link the next time someone asks me this question.

Just enjoy it, pretty soon something else will come along and we'll all switch over there and forget about each other. For now though, if you can put the effort in - the payback is pretty amazing.

#foreverinternetfriends

10 Reasons Why I Can't Go Hunting

2011-11-15T17:45:00.000-08:00

10. Fear of wide open spaces. Plain and simple. If I imagine myself in the middle of a field, open to my left, open to my right, with no knowledge of the potential wildlife that may be hunting ME? No way. I just can't even... Not happening.

9. Bambi. My first movie theatre experience that I can remember, was when my father took me to see the Disney (cartoon) movie Bambi.

For years I thought the movie ended right after Bambi's mom was shot, since that was when I lost my mind crying and had to be escorted from the theatre by my no doubt embarrassed Dad. Of all times he wished for a son, I bet this was one of them. As it turns out, there was a whole other hour worth of the movie...Who knew?

8. I think antlers on the wall are tacky. I know some rich people have them for fun, but when I think of redecorating, I just can't ever seem to work "Giant Literal Moose Head" into the plan.

7. I'd have to carry a gun. This should never happen. I have the worst luck ever with metal products made for destruction (mainly cars) that it would be naive for me to think that I could safely carry a gun from point A to point B, while keeping all my extremities in tact.

6. I'd have to hang out with other people are also carrying guns. Again, see above for automobile reference. You can't trust anyone - EVER. Especially when they are holding the power behind something that can kill you.

5. Road kill. You're probably wondering what road kill has to do with hunting, but isn't it the same thing? I see lots of dead carcasses on the side of highways across the country. Maybe instead of shooting them, we could collect those ones? Not good? Meh.

4. Animals have families. Maybe they're a mom or a dad. Or Grandpa. How would you feel if you killed somethings Grandpa? Not cool. Not cool at all...

3. Patience is required. I can hardly wait to get to the end of this sentence, that's how impatient I am. Waiting silently in the dark, crouched, where bugs could potentially crawl on me - it's just like someone took my worst nightmare, and made me wait even longer to wake up from it.

2. I don't like blood or flies. Dead animals attract both of these things in hoards.

And the number one reason I can't go hunting is because...

1. I would shoot someone. Guaranteed. I would get totally spooked, shooting the first thing I saw, which would most likely be someone I was hunting with. I wouldn't do it on purpose, of course, but either way it would happen. And I like you too much to do that to you.

If I had a billion dollars..

2011-11-14T16:40:00.000-08:00

If I had a billion dollars,
for starters,
I wouldn't be writing this blog.
I would probably pay someone to do it for me, or, since I'm so rich - someone might write one about me just because.

If I had a billion dollars,
I'd be really skinny. And I don't want to hear "ohhh you're great the way you are" because with all the extra money, I would like to be great the way these people currently are:

Also, since I don't need to work - my job would be working out. I would pay that guy from MTV who turns this into this:

If I had a billion dollars,
I wouldn't have plastic surgery because I don't want to LOOK like a cat - but with a billion dollars, I could do this with cats. So many cats. Rooms and rooms full of 'em. Meow.

The cats could even have their own house, which would have outdoor litter and a full time maid on vacuum duty. The cats and I would watch Netflix, which to whom I would pay some extra cash-ola to stream illegal movies at my leisure. It would be fine though, I'd pay someone to make sure it was.

If I had a billion dollars,
I would travel around the world, in nothing more then a bikini and a smile, and I would drink out of coconuts. I'd have all the large fish/sharks/sea monsters cleared out of a olympic sized swimming pool amount of the ocean, and I would stock it with Nemo's and turtles without biting capabilities and I would swim like Ariel. I may even collect things from the surface and keep them down there. Wanna come see my snarflat? No? Whatever. I'll buy you one for Christmas because I'm rich.

If I had a billion dollars,
I would adopt alllllll of the alcoholic and drug addicted celebrities, and I'd start a new universe where being sober was weird and you went to jail for selling yourself out to commercial brand products. I'd create a new twitter account called @RichBitch where I literally tweet things that make you hate me, but like a train-wreck you'd want to know more and MORE and I'd be verified in no time! Muahaha! Verified RICH, that is.

There is a lot of other things I would do with a billion dollars, like give some to my friends and family - but not too much...don't want them to get greedy, or worse yet - have more money then me.

What would you do with a billion? Would you want it? I know I would.
Money may not buy happiness, but it can sure as hell buy things that make me happy.

The Christmas Shopping Conundrum

2011-11-08T18:58:00.000-08:00

christ·mas/ˈkrisməs/

Exclamation:

Expressing surprise, dismay, or despair.

Noun:

The annual Christian festival celebrating Christ's birth, held on December 25.

shopping (shp)

noun.

1. To visit stores in search of merchandise or bargains.

2. To look for something with the intention of acquiring it.

=
Well then.

You don't say.

Let's analyze this, shall we?

First let's take Christmas - the day when some people think some guy was born. Now combine that with Shopping, aka going to a store with the intention of acquiring something. What do these two things have in common? The answer can be found here:

co·nun·drum/kəˈnəndrəm/

Noun:

A confusing and difficult problem or question.
A question asked for amusement, typically one with a pun in its answer; a riddle

That's right folks - it makes no sense at all. NONE. But year after year, we all spend way more then we should on finding things to give to other people in our lives. The gesture behind the madness is a sweet one, especially those people who take the time to actually think about what they are buying for someone else. They browse the internet and stores for their favourite items, and when the gift is opened on that magical day - it can bring tears to their eyes. Now THAT, is touching.

Then you have me.

In every other area of my life, logic fails me - but somehow when it comes to Christmas shopping I can be nothing BUT logical. I usually think of the person, and then attach one thing that reminds me of said person. Then I get results like this:

Sarah likes music and rocking out in her car - excellent. Drake has a new CD.

Kira likes cats. Hands down, kitten in a box.

Danny likes war-based computer games - BAM! CAMOUFLAGE SNUGGIE!

Karina writes books, she must need a pen.

Genina hasn't seen Anchorman? DVD it is. Even better, I could download it and put it on a DVD. Now who's thinking?

Brandee has a cute little girl, she MUST need a gc to Children's Place.. Or a Kitten in a box... shit. wait. Did I already give that to someone?....

@SSDated writes blogs about dating - year long subscription to EHarmony? Sold. Must keep the stories coming.

Mom and Dad like birds - and birds need seeds.

See my problem? Gifts so predictable - it's downright embarrassing.

The Token Sock Gift....Bf's reaction is almost convincing.

How do you shop? Online or in store? Are you one of those people I see in the mall on the 24th, running around grabbing whatever you can get your hands on, especially if it's pre-wrapped in a gift set? I see you there - because I'm there with you. Not just in spirit, but in body as well. Sweaty and tired, and wishing I would have started 3 months ago when things were priced reasonably and not jacked up just because I'll pay it.

I haven't started my shopping yet, and if anyone tells me they've been done since October 1st, let me know where you live and when you won't be home because I may just pay you a visit... with a giant sack.... and no reindeer....

Merry HO HO. Here we go again...

"Meet Me" - The Life Behind The Blogger

2011-11-07T19:58:00.000-08:00

I read a lot of blogs on the internet, but I never feel as though I get the same connection with the writer as I do with the people I interact with on Twitter or Facebook. This makes sense, because I ~~stalk~~ ~~am addicted~~ spend more time on those two sites then anywhere else.

As I was thinking of a way to connect on a more personal level with my readers, I thought it might be an interesting idea to start a new blog trend. The trend I'm hoping for should help to open up the communication and connect with the bloggers whose sites I enjoy reading. The "About me" section is alright, but what better way to get an idea of who I really am (other then bat-shit crazy), then to go through the pictures from my cell phone.
They sum up my likes, dislikes, fav moments, things that make me go 'hmmm' - just to name a few. Looking through the photos I take on my cell phone, remind me that I:
a) have my cell phone with me every waking moment
b) have some pretty awesome friends
c) am fascinated by basically everything

So, that's how "Meet Me" was born, and this is my first instalment. I hope other bloggers will follow suit and allow for readers to get a glimpse of the life behind the blogger...

this is how you will normally see me. The sick part is,
I can still tweet like a champ whilst double fisting.

cookies and food of any kind make me extra excited.
Especially cute ones.
And you have also just learned that my forehead is only available in XL.

Those of you who follow me on Twitter know I like my Growers.
Annnnnd my glasses full. Not half full. Not normal full. Just FULL.

Give me an opportunity to doodle, and I will see your doodle and
raise you one styrofoam masterpiece.

By now you are probably thinking, "So far I've learned is that she has a drinking problem"
The only drinking problem I have is that I don't own one of these.
Taking pictures of everything I see is the epitome of who I am.

I find things like this funny.
Maybe you have kids and you're thinking "Not so much..."
Well now you know I'm sick and deranged.

I have adorable friends.
See?

This is what "GILZ" looks like in picture form.
Now say it out loud and it will all make sense.
This is how I react to all awkward situations.

If you are my neighbour, and your dog barks all night long -
This is what you will find me doing.
Feeding pepperoni under the door until your dog shuts up.
You're welcome.

This photo was taken less then a minute away from my apartment in Surrey.
Things like this make me want to move, and take a nap, and listen to Queen all at once.

Self Portrait.

I still make cakes from time to time...
and I still love every second of it.

This is a typical ride to work for me.
Just another glimpse at my oh so average lifestyle.

There you have it.

In a few quick photos, you are now basically my new best friend. I can feel the connections growing already. With the exception of ~~80,000~~ a few mall kitten photographs, that is me summed up in a nutshell.

I'd like to encourage all you other bloggers to let us into your world - whether it be through photo, poetry, YouTube video or the always clever internet meme's. Whatever method you choose, I look forward to learning a little bit more about each of you and it will make me enjoy reading your blogs even more so....

Can't wait to "Meet You" too!

ps: Feel free to post links to your blogs below so I can check out your posts!!

Dear Moustache(s)..

2011-11-06T12:06:00.000-08:00

{This post is in reply to a Movember-based blog "Dear Moustache" set up by Don Falconer, aka @TheFalconer, as he writes to his new-found facial friend throughout the month of November. It is all in an effort to raise awareness and money for Prostate Cancer. I think this is a great idea and had to join in to spread the word!}

Dear Moustache(s),

You are barely a prickle on the face of many men across the world, and yet somehow you already intrigue me. I often wonder what you will amount too, and just how many of you will make the face you live on, start to resemble a Super Mario Brother. This is good on many levels.

In the beginning, I want to pledge money to all of you for bringing awareness to cancer - but as I start to see mo' and mo' of you appear on the faces of men - I have decided to save my pledges for my favourite Mo's at the end of the month.

With so many of you looking like my dad from 1980-1992, I have a hard time saying that you are making faces look "sexy", but the general consensus on facial hair from women is: THUMBS UP.

"Mo' moustache, Mo' money" is how I will base my pledges, so little stubbles, keep warming the upper lips of the men and boys I walk past on a daily basis. You not only make us chuckle, but also make us happy because we know it's there for a reason, and that the reason is not to make you look like a 70's pornstar..

Like a proud aunt, I want to watch you grow to be all you can be and mo'..

xoxo

-Candice

{To check out Don's latest "Dear Moustache post, click here to visit his blog at Dear Moustache..}

Why Stuff Matters

2011-11-03T21:12:00.000-07:00

There is countless amounts of stuff in my life that make me feel like hiding under a rock and never coming out. Some stuff makes me feel the complete opposite, and instead of hiding under a rock - I want to throw the rock at people just to get their attention, all the while running around screaming "ISN'T STUFF AMAZING?!?!" Occasionally, some stuff causes a lump to form in my throat and no matter what I do, I can't escape the feeling of utter helplessness. On the flip side of that, there's other stuff that happens, that not even a bird shitting on my shoulder could wipe the smile off my face.

Annnnd then I pause.

Why does stuff matter? It's the question thats plagued me - and no doubt philosophers around the world - for quite sometime. After all, aren't we all just a bunch of civilized animals that happened to create some way of communicating that didn't involve picking bugs out of each others hair? When a politician cheats on his wife, or a celebrity divorces her husband after 72 days, or when your husband forgot to take out the trash - why do such insignificant instances of "stuff" cause such chaos in our everyday lives?

From the words that we type, to the emotions we feel - who decided that this suff would play such a pivotal part of who we are as people? If you know, pass them my email because I need to have words with him/her.

Maybe we could blame the media for making stuff matter....?

Sometimes stuff can really get in the way of other stuff. Like if I go to the mall to buy a new pair of jeans, I stuff myself in (pun 100% intended) and then look in the mirror.
Hmm.
You don't say.
The simple act of shopping for stuff, has now thrown me into a world of emotion that causes me to question other stuff I have been doing in my life leading up to the reflection staring back at me. Who cares if it's not the same reflection that stared back at me 10 years ago. In reality, it's just more stuff that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things - but to me? It's now become a matter of life and death. And for what? Well let me tell you...
Nothing. That's what.
Just another example of why I am constantly questioning the importance of stuff.

"Don't sweat the small stuff" they say. WHO IS THEY AND WHAT IS CONSIDERED SMALL STUFF? Maybe small stuff to some, is big stuff for others. I suppose it boils down to human emotions, and the fact that we like to try and rationalize every situation put in front of us. Or perhaps it's because when we worry about stuff, we don't have to actually think about the BIG picture - which is WHY all this stuff even matters at all.

As I get older, I try to take a step back from the all the stuff in my life - good and bad - and question what the point is of questioning it is. Should I just roll with it, knowing that in the end all the stuff means nothing if I have no one to share it with? Or should I keep on worrying and enjoying all the stuff life throws at me and just check it off my 'less-fun bucket list of life experiences' (which also includes driving on every on and off-ramp in B.C. at least once, and watching Schindler's List)

Does stuff drive you crazy too? Or am I the only one who takes a pause from worrying about stuff, to worry about why stuff becomes stuff in the first place? Stuff. Stuff. Stuff.

I guess even if I never get the answer, there will always be more stuff to keep me occupied. Like kittens and YouTube videos and Twitter, to name a few. So from the stuff that matters to stuff that doesn't - it will always be around to give you something to do...And maybe that's why it matters in the first place?

Why I probably shouldn't come to the mall with you...

2011-11-02T19:23:00.000-07:00

I have debt.

I suppose with any human flaw, the first step is admitting it.

When I was 18 years old, and my bank informed me that I was eligible to open up my very first Visa card with a $1500 limit - well hot damn. It felt like I won the lottery! In hindsight, this probably should have been warning sign #1. Back in the day, whenever I used my shiny new card, I would very quickly make sure that I paid off the balance in full. Interest? Not going to catch me paying any of that nonsense! This card was to build my credit rating - not to dig myself into a future black hole that only the most qualified astronomer could access.

Warning sign #2: I worked in a mall and I liked shopping. Mainly because I'm a girl. There really is no other explanation required. Having a credit card, working full time in a mall and liking to shop, is like working in a gun store, having a gun annnnnnd liking to shoot yourself with it. In other words, NOT GOOD. My 3rd warning sign should have come from the fact that when you order food and have it delivered, the credit card is the best way to not feel as guilty about dipping into a bank account to find things to stuff my face with. The problem was, the card WAS my bank account - but like many other humans, that thought doesn't enter the mind (because it was filled with food and a new cute outfit I now can't fit into...because of all the food....gilz.)

As the years went by - I shopped. And I ate. Then I ate some more, maybe even while I was shopping. Then maybe I'd go shopping for a concert I have bough tickets to, and stock up on drinks and food for the hotel that I am staying at to make the concert night as fun as possible. What was that, you say!? My Ebay bid for the DVD of The Life & Death of Marilyn Monroe just won?! AMAZING. BECAUSE THAT WAS EXACTLY WHAT MY LIFE WAS MISSING.

After all those things that I thought my life was missing - I'm noticing that I have nothing to show for any of it - just a mound of debt, which was probably the cause of every hair growing in grey since the age of 22. I have stressed about it, cried about it - tried to pay it off and cried some more, but in the end, could never seem to get a handle on things.

That is until...

I didn't activate my replacement cards.

Sounds so simple, but when I saw them in the mail, I put them in my purse but neglected to call the 1-800 number to get the activation initiated. Week after week, I started to throw money on the cards here and there to make a dent, and I didn't pay much more attention, other then to make sure that minimum payments were made and my credit score (which I also obsessed over) was in the range where companies wouldn't tell me that I had to get a co-signer for a loan.

Today, I just checked the balance of my total debt - and to my complete shock and amazement, I HAD MONEY AVAILABLE. Like, not $5 either but a substantial amount! Gone are the days where I would be shuffling money to this and fro that, and now instead of shuffling everyday - I SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO SHUFFLE AGAIN (riiiight...)

I wrote this blog basically to reassure anyone who feels like their love of shopping, eating, shopping and shopping is ruining their chance at a productive future. I assure you that it can be done. Sacrifices have to be made, and if you are willing to make them, you can get ahead of the game. Everyone has debt - except for perfect people - so don't sweat it. Make your minimum payments and don't reactivate your cards when they expire. I promise that they will stay shiny and new and ready for you when the time comes that you can log back onto Etsy and go accessory crazy.

What was that, upcoming Christmas vacation? You want me to go where now?

Done and done.

An Open Letter to Kim Kardashian

2011-11-01T19:47:00.000-07:00

Hi Kim,

How's it going? Oh right. Probably not the greatest, eh? Well, I just thought I would take this time to send you a quick letter about how this media blitz coverage of your pending divorce is affecting the general public. You may want to brace yourself, because despite the millions of dollars they claim you made, what I'm about to tell you is worth more then any millions they could offer to televise your divorce.

Here it goes...

No one cares.

I'm 100% serious.

No one cares at all. The media cares because you made a sex tape and some clothes, but the general public could care less about your wedding or divorce, maybe even less then they care that I had a sandwich for lunch today. If the general public had it's way, we'd rather be watching Entertainment Tonight featuring Dr. Conrad Murray's murder trial then anything to do with how much money you did or didn't make - and how many days your "marriage" did or didn't last.

The only reason you feel like we care, and should give you the privacy you so 'deserve', is because the media won't shut up about it. And just as a a side note, from what I can see? It seems like your family, and yourself, are the ones who are keeping these stories coming.
Kris Jenner says "People shouldn't judge".
Rob Kardashian says "We all support her".
Kim K says " I guess I got caught up in the hoopla...."

Wait, wait wait. Caught up in it?! YOU WERE IT.

I'm sure you're a great person who cares more about finding love then getting millions of dollars for having a sex tape, getting married, making clothes or getting divorced. I'm sure we'd be bff away from the camera because I love fashion and attention and you seem to bring a lot of that (obviously). The worst part is, I'm actually a fan of your reality show and was looking forward to watching the marriage unfold over the next 3 seasons, not the next 3 minutes. From the perspective of a viewer, it's just so disappointing.

So keep the ring, throw out the ring, donate the ring to charity or turn the ring into a new husband - whatever you decide to do - I just want you to know that we, as a human population, don't care. And if you and your family will stop talking to the media about how you don't want to be judged or talked about in the media, maybe your wish would come true. Not the 'happily ever after' wish, but the one where you get to pretend that you actually married Reggie Bush.

Too soon?

I hope this letter finds you well, in Sydney Austrailia or wherever you have gone to escape the public eye.

Ps: tell your camera crew I said hi.

Bananas + Bread = Need I say more?

2011-10-26T22:40:00.000-07:00

Look at that dressing dripping down the side...it's deliciously resembling the drool coming out of the corner of my mouth...

I don't know about you (although in all fairness, if you read my blog then I think I might know one thing) but there's nothing more delicious then a cooked banana. Challenge me. I dare you. I LOVE BANANAS. All kinds of bananas. Banana in bread, Banana in smoothies but most importantly, bananas in my mouth.

When I came across this recipe, the photo alone made me want to skip handing out Hallowe'en candy, grab a spoon, and scoop some of this bad boy right into some kids pillow case. (You're welcome, parents)

On second thought - I don't want to share this with the kids. I don't even want to share with you. I want it all to myself. And since I'm so greedy in regards to banana related foods, I decided to share this banana bread recipe so you can create your own drool-worthy masterpiece. There's really not much to it, so try it out and let me know what you think! Also, if anyone modifies the recipe, please share below so I can re-make and eat all over again.

As only Gwen Stefani would say, "This shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S."

Head Hunters: Tacky Tactic or Flatteringly Fantastic?

2011-10-25T19:35:00.000-07:00

This week I was looking through my usual bombardment of Monday morning emails, when I came across an email that looked like it belonged in the Spam category. My first instinct was to "Report as Spam" and then delete, thus restoring my inbox to emails that actually pertain to my life. But as I quickly glanced at the subject matter, I was surprised to see my full name staring back at me. Hmm....Interesting...

Generally, most spam emails start off with:

"Candice - grow your chest size in only 12 days!!!"

"Candice, did you know that cell phones are giving you a brain tumour?"

A) I don't need anymore chest. B) I'm never giving away my cell phone, tumour or no tumour. C) Take the time to address the email to me directly and maybe I will humour whatever you're sending me.

I opened the suspicious, spam-resembling email to find out that I was being head hunted by another retail company, for a position within their management team.

Really?

ME?!

I kept reading and was half expecting to see at the bottom:

"Sincerely, Generic Head Hunting Corporation of I'm totally a spammer and you fell for it, Sucker"

But it didn't say that. It said that I was wanted, and that made me feel warm and mushy inside. The manager inside me had a different opinion, because some of us in the business world have the impression that trying to "steal" someone from their current position is downright unethical.

When I was discussing the email with a friend of mine, she mentioned how flattering and amazing it was to not have to put forth the effort in furthering my career. It was basically being done for me, all I had to do was decide if I wanted to pursue the opportunity. Here I was being handed a job offer, when my poor friend had been relentlessly looking across Canada for an exciting new career - unfortunately with no success.

This got me thinking about what it would be like if I was the one out searching for new employment opportunities. Would I utilize the social media sites to source out connections? Would I get a newspaper and circle what looked appealing? Do they even make newspapers anymore? Nowadays, the 'Classifieds Section' sounds like something cavemen drew on their walls.

With todays ability to go online and post just about anything (ex. "Cat for sale", "Looking to buy cat", Cat in need of a job"..) - how does one even know where to begin?

After investigating further into the job search options available online - they seem to be, for the sake of convenience and easy access to hoards of information, the best way to go. With a quick click over to Job Search Canada, you are transported to an effective way of exploring many different areas of gainful employment. You don't even have to get up from your chair/bed/couch - you just have to have a functioning resume and the motivation to fill in a few boxes of information. It just doesn't get much more convenient then that.

I suppose being head hunted is flattering - but when it comes down to it, shouldn't I be the one who gets to decide what my future career path will be? Because of this reason, I appreciate the fact that a website exists that make it simple to browse many opportunities all in one place (without having to go out in the snow to buy a newspaper).

I have no plans to leave my current position, but if the thought ever did cross my mind - I would rather it be something I went for vs. something handed to me.

Why the words "child" and "suicide" do not belong in the same sentence..

2011-10-03T17:39:00.000-07:00

Why, as someone without children, does bullying bother me so much? Well, it's probably because I have a heart beating inside my body.

Only someone without one of those key components of life, could sit down and watch a one hour episode of Anderson Coopers show about bullying, without wanting to run to the closest school and yell out "IT GETS BETTER, TRUST ME!!" until every kid in that schoolyard believes you. I normally blog about light hearted topics, and the posts are usually filled with sarcasm - but today I can't justify any of that. Today my heart hurts for all the kids who have come to a point in their little lives, where they feel like enough is enough. Those poor little muffins who get tormented at school, online and lord only know where else - and feel like there is no where to turn. It has to make you stop and think...

In my generation, when I was in elementary school, we had bullies. Of course we had bullies. So and so had cooties, and someone was a dork or a nerd. Maybe a few people were "loners" and sometimes they dressed poorly or different then the 'norm'. People would snicker about others in the hallway, and on more then one occasion, someone left school and went home to cry.
I think it would be safe to say, that without a doubt, today's way of bullying is like nothing we could have imagined.

Facebook, Twitter, Formspring, email, MySpace (if it still exists by the end of this blog post) and countless other social media sites have invaded our lives and for most of us, for the better. We all love the connections, and the ability to check in on your bff from Grade 3.

The flip side of all of this open communication, is that children are allowed to partake in the same activities. Instead of going home after a rough day at school and having a good cry, kids go home already upset and then log onto one of the many social media outlets - and the bullying continues. Maybe someone has made a group on Facebook about how Little Susie's shirt was tacky. There are 4,600 comments about just how tacky that shirt truly was. Maybe from that group, it has branched off to a Twitter hashtag for everyone at Susie's school to retweet, letting not only the classmates - but the entire world - know that #susieistacky. Meanwhile, Susie sits and watches as more and more classmates, and maybe even strangers, join in the attack on her favourite shirt. She feels that because it's her favourite and no one else agrees, that something is wrong with her.

So Susie throws out her shirt...
It doesn't change anything.

Day after day, outfit after outfit, it never ends - and this could be just ONE kid out of however many million kids there are in the world who deal with this on a daily basis. Kids are copycats, so if the child who instigates the Facebook group about how tacky Susie's shirt was happens to be considered a "cool kid" - then once they have started the group and 4,600 comments have been posted about how they are absolutely right about the tackiness of the shirt, the bully is then given the confidence of their newfound online supporters to carry out the same bullying face to face.

The recent story about Jamey Rodemeyer, the 11-year old who committed suicide because of a long battle with bullies, has left me wondering what is happening to this world we live in. How does a child at that age even know that suicide is an option, and for the love of god how can they feel like that is the only way that things are ever going to get better? His poor family. His poor friends. His poor self. My heart goes out to that family, and every other family who has had to deal with losing their child. CHILD! Not even a teenager. It's not right.

I know we buy pink shirts once a year to show that we care about this issue, and I know that it gets talked about when a tragedy happens, but there has to be something that can be done to take some serious control. If you got in as much trouble for bullying as you did for not doing your homework, maybe kids would be less likely to do it. Obviously schools can't control the internet, but the internet can control the internet. Make Facebook and Twitter only available to people who are mature enough to deal with the consequences that come along with it. I know bullying can go on between adults, but at least an adult has the sense to look at the situation logically. A child has less options available to them - because they're not old enough to even know what the options are! I never had a class about how to handle being bullied, but then again I never had a Facebook group made about how tacky my clothes are.

Obviously, this issue is not something that will ever be totally resolved, unless we revert back to olden days where people treated each other with respect because it was the decent thing to do. But, that being said, there has to be a way to make it better. Even slightly...

Like I mentioned before, I don't have kids. But, I hope that when the day comes that I do have a kid - if she wants to wear the tackiest shirt in the world to school - she will be able to do so without wanting to come home and swallow a bottle of pills.

We're going to die a lot sooner then these kids are, so we should probably figure out a way to keep them from disappearing, no?

Ever been upside-down in a truck? I have.

2011-08-30T10:38:00.000-07:00

After being away from home for 17 days, I was so excited to be back in Vancouver and on my way home to get ready for a night of birthday shenanigans. Bf and I were driving along, catching up on things since I'd been away, and talking about how we were both hungry. Things were as they should be.

The next thing I remember, is better explained in colours.

RED.
WHITE.

Then I was looking to my left, at bf, who was still sitting in the drivers seat, except he was upside-down.

I realized what had happened, and before I knew it, bf was out of his window, and over at my side, trying to help me get out of the flipped over truck. My window had been crunched, and I was still wearing my carry-on bag that contained my laptop and other fun things. My carry-on was stuck on something, and the more they pulled me, the more I could feel pieces of glass and blood running down my hand. I screamed at bf and the by-standers who were trying to help them, and just needed a moment - half in the truck, half out, to figure out the best plan of action. I could see people tying a towel around bf's arm, as him and a few others got my carry-on unstuck, and pulled me out of the window.

Well, that was enough for me. I basically lost my mind. There had to have been about 20-30 people standing around, and the looks they give you are almost as horrific as what just happened. They look at you without smiles, or words - it was exactly like how you see it in a movie.

I buried my face in bf's chest and cried until the fireman came and held my neck. Someone kept calling me Brenda, and at that point I didn't care what they called me I just wanted the whole thing to be over. The ambulance came and we were both strapped to gurneys and wheeled away from each other. Bf was in one, and I was in another. When you can't look anywhere but up, getting an IV was almost easier. If I had to watch that scene unfold, I can guarantee there would have been a lot more then just a few tears - especially when the EMT man said he had to go "hunting for my naughty veins". Was this even happening?!

Red 7. Red 7. Red 7.

The paramedic gave me a colour and a number to remember, and so that's what I did. Red 7 became the words I would say during the ride to the hospital. The EMT guy asked me if I lost a ring because my wedding finger was bare. I told him I had no ring. He told me that when we got to the hospital, he would ask Bf why there was no ring there. I liked the EMT guy immediately after that, which was a good thing bc we'd already gotten past first base (aka the cutting off of my clothes).

Being wheeled into the hospital was like every scene of ER you've ever watched. Bright lights, people all around you, and you laying in pain while they decide where to put you. Bf and I were separated again - and I went into room 222 where I was hooked up to machines and covered in warm blankets. Glass was picked out of my hand, my earrings were taken out, and the police came to record my statement via iPhone. So high tech.

A CT scan.
A whole bunch of X-rays.
Still in a neckbrace andddd

A shot of morphine....

Shortly after that, bf had been stitched up and had joined me in the moment of relief when the doctor came over and said nothing was broken, a minor concussion accompanied by cuts and bruises - but we were good to go. Ok, well maybe not good - but all things considered, we were both very lucky people. A different EMT person had come up to us while I was getting changed into stylish hospital garb, and asked if we were the ones from the truck accident. He had seen pictures of the accident.
He told us someone must have been watching out for us.

The other person who had caused the accident, had not been watching out for us. If they had, they would have seen us driving straight down the street - and they wouldn't have made a left turn directly in front of us. I hope they are ok, but I hope they never cross my path on the road again.

Thanks for all the tweets and messages, it's so nice to know that other people are as happy as we are that it wasn't more serious.

Be careful out there people - because in half a second, your whole world can turn upside-down.
Literally.

Can I Survive a Social Media Hiatus? We're about to find out...

2011-08-11T15:36:00.000-07:00

When I see a mall kitten - I need to share it with you.
When my plate of food looks better then Brad Pitt in Legends of the Fall, I take a picture, and I share it.
When I learn that something is on sale somewhere, I tell you.
When I make fun of my friends, or they make fun of me, and it makes me keel over and die with laughter - I turn that joke into 140 characters of pure, retweetable gold.
Bake a pie? Better put it on Facebook.
Did I go away over the weekend? Well, you'll not only know about it - you can see it on my Facebook album, Google + profile, or follow the entire weekend, play-by-play through my Twitter account.

So that being said....

I'm taking a break.

FOREVER YAM.

My need for a break also happens to coincide with the fact that I will be on vacation and a work trip for the next 2.5 weeks. I figured this was a good time to enjoy life, and keep it to myself. No BBM updates, no minute by minute photos of people wearing funny shoes, or me explaining every reality tv show and spoiling things for people around the world. You can rest easy, my worldly tv junkie friends - I will no longer be there to remind you how hot Jeff is on Big Brother, or how Love in the Wild may be the best thing since sliced sashimi.
It's not the people of these websites. The people are amazing. I have met so many amazing people, and on Facebook I continue to connect with my favourite people on the planet - but seriously, no one needs to know what I am doing on a daily basis. Fact being, I'm not that interesting. I do appreciate the people who think otherwise, but lately I feel like I have run out of things to say. I'm not complex, and so basically I have gone through everything in my brain and right now it is completely empty, instead of only partially.

So good bye, social media. I will miss knowing what someone I knew for 1 year of my life in kindergarden is doing on Friday night, and I will miss #thoselongasshashtagsthatmakemekeepcomingbacktweetaftertweet.

In word's you will better understand: ttyl.

:)