I’ve been seeing a chiropractor for several weeks to ease acute lower back and neck pain aggravated by years of “managing” a deteriorating spinal condition.

“Managing” is my way of saying I’ve been coping with the pain on my own, thank you very much. Over the years, I’ve tried medications, bone-cracking chiropractic, physical therapy, injections and the list goes on, all with varying degrees of success. I’ve never considered a long-term, slow-action plan because, well, I’m an instant fix, fast-action kind of gal.

Until now.

In my opinion, my chiropractor is a holistic doctor; she doesn’t just adjust me, she listens – and even asks questions of my body – and works on me according to the answers she receives. She’s also an intuitive healer. She can often simply lay her hands on me and know if my internal body parts are misfiring – once she said my spleen was inflamed and then worked to relieve it!

I love what my doc is doing for me – even if it is at least a six-month, intensive project.

Emotional Realignment

Too bad she can’t adjust the emotional side of me and correct my mental misalignments while she works on correcting my spine.

I wish she could wave a magic wand over me and suddenly, poof!, my body and emotions would transform into a beautiful homeostatic tower of balance.

Or maybe she could at least hook me up with someone who could work in tandem with her efforts.

Does such a person even exist?

Oh yes . . . that person is ME!

Huh?

That’s right. If you take the first two letters of the word Emotion and reverse them, what do you have? Me! Not only am I exhibiting emotions all the time, but I have primary responsibility for taking care of them.

OMG, you’re probably saying to yourself, my back hurts, I’m late for work, I have no transportation because my car was destroyed in the last hail storm, and now you’re telling me I have to fix my emotions too?

Good News/Bad News

The bad news is, yes, that is what I’m telling you. But the good news is, once you practice dealing with your emotions, you’ll stop being a victim to all that outside stuff happening “to” you and realize that the stuff is simply happening.

Here’s my six-step process for bringing your emotions into balance.

1. Own the emotion. Stop blaming others. How you feel about situations, people or circumstances is no one’s fault.
2. Accept that the emotion is a feeling and that feelings are not facts. You’ve heard the term “emotional roller coaster?” When we’re not in charge of our feelings, they have a way of building speed and momentum until they reach a pinnacle and then plunge scarily downward.
3. Understand that emotions can be changed. I am the only person responsible for changing my emotions and feelings. Staying in victimhood is not only unhealthy, it is also unbearable!
4. Choose to change. Sometimes the simple act of drawing a column down a piece of paper and writing “what’s not working” on one side and “what is working” on the other is enough to help us see that we really need to do something about our emotional condition.
5. Make the change and don’t look back. Take a deep breath and make the plunge. Remember that the you prior to making the change is now a part of history!
6. Celebrate! Woo Hoo! You are an awesome and incredibly courageous person to take a stand and say that you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired!

Getting Out of Misalignment

A good chiropractor – like mine – detects, corrects and then prevents the recurrence of what practitioners call spinal subluxations. A subluxation is a misalignment – often caused by physical injury or chemical or emotional stresses – that causes a loss of movement in the spinal column.

This misalignment, or imbalance, affects everything in the body because it involves nerves and the cellular system.

Similarly, when I have a mental subluxation – often caused by physical injury or chemical or emotional stresses – I have a loss of healthy movement in my emotional column.

Emotional imbalance can also affect everything in my world.

When I had my first evaluation and consultation with my chiropractor, following x-rays and tests, she told me that now that we know what is wrong, we can work to fix the condition.

Recognizing emotional disturbances is important because once we know something is wrong, we can work to fix it.

Tools to Improve

Just as my chiropractor has tools at her disposal to work on my spinal condition, so too do I have tools to work on my emotional conditions.

Here is a sample of tools that work for me.

• Deep breathing. I’m constantly amazed at how often I hold my breath, as if that is helpful!
• Prayer and meditation. I ask for help and then listen for answers.
• Enlist a support group. More than anything, this tool is about asking others to hold me accountable.
• Reaching out to others. How often do I call someone and ask how they are doing?
• Journaling. This is my stand-by practice; often when I write something out, the answer magically appears on the page in front of me.
• Practice H.A.L.T. I evaluate whether I am too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired and if I am, know that my chances of practicing good emotional care are severely diminished.
• Say no to drama. This is a new tool for me and a tough one! My limited experience shows me that if I stay out of the middle of drama, my emotional condition is more likely to stay fairly balanced.

Finally: MIND MY OWN BUSINESS! Need I say more?

There are many other tools that help keep our emotional column in balance; I’ve shared with you the ones that work for me. Please share others here and let us know what works for you.

The goal is to respect our emotional well-being as we honor our physical self-care. Relieving both of their respective subluxations creates a balanced synergy that makes us mighty forces.

The bottom line is this: We can have physical and emotional balance, but it will require work on our part. I promise you that the rewards are phenomenal!

Beth Wilson is the creator of B Here On Purpose, a solo-preneur company dedicated to mindful living, and writes a blog called B Here Today, about finding balance between our outer and inner worlds. Visit her at BHERETODAY.COM, where you can find her new e-book B Here On Purpose, or on Twitter (@bheretoday) and Facebook.

Photo credit: katie cowden

Like so many people I exercised and kept in great shape when I was in my teens and 20’s.  But as my 20’s started to turn to my 30’s, that was when it seemed that the pressures of life started to hit me.  And that means longer hours at work, more responsibilities with the family and ultimately less time for yourself.

The net result of the situation is that I, like many people, started to put a few pounds on.  And a few extra pounds each year ended up turning into an extra 60 pounds and a 252 pound bodyweight by age 36.

I was still working 12 hours a day and carrying all of the extra baggage when something started to happen…my body started to rebel.  All of a sudden I started having stabbing pains in my chest.  These pains then began to increase in intensity and frequency…and I realized that I starting to experience the first signs of heart disease.

Simply put, 36 years old is too young to start thinking about a heart attack, but I knew that day was coming…and if I didn’t make changes, it was going to come sooner as opposed to later.

But then the big question becomes…with all of responsibilities how do I find the time to do this?  In other words, how do I live a life of balance.  And while I didn’t realize it at the time [this was 4 years ago] I started following some of the advice you will find through the BalanceInMe website.

First of all, I needed a plan and that involved me doing the following:

• Figuring out how to work out so that I would take advantages of the best ways to burn fat.
• Figure out proper nutrition and how to eat properly, and most of all…
• When was I going to find the time to work out?  This was the toughest proposition because it involved me actually taking 30-60 minutes daily for myself and actually

Now, because the focus of this website is finding balance, I am going to share with you some of the best ideas that I have come up with to find the time to work out.  This is not easy, especially due to the fact that so many of us have such a small amount of time after our family responsibilities that we almost feel guilty taking this time.

However, I would merely venture the argument that if you do not do this you are short changing your family.  After all, how bad would it have been if I had suffered a heart attack at age 37 or age 38?  What type of difficulty would that have caused my family and me…all because I was living a life out of balance.

So I found the time…because my health required it.  Here are just a few of the ideas I managed to come up with

1. Plan Your Day

This was the single most important thing I started doing.  All of a sudden I was finding that I could have it all…if I planned it.  All I would do is take 5-10 minutes before I went to bed and figure out what needed to be done the next day.  And as I planned everything, there was never a day that I didn’t insert at least 30 minutes for some form of exercise, even if it had to be in two separate 15-minute blocks.

And I extended this idea to planning what I ate as well.  I have to say that this little tip started to save hundreds…if not thousands of calories a day.  We all know what happens around lunch time at work when we don’t bring lunch.  We end up some form of fast food that has far too many calories and far too much fat.  By planning what I ate I eliminated this and that is when the weight started to come off.

2. Go to the gym (WITH A PARTNER) before or after work

The key, of course, is with a partner. When someone else is relying on you to get there, you are more likely to go.

3. Make use of your lunch hour

Many workplaces have or encourage a ‘walking club’ where workers will band together to do exercise during the course of the day. And if you don’t have one at your job, start one. All it takes is a few committed people and laid out course showing the distance you are going to travel. This is a great way to create the time to work out.

4. Skip one TV show a night

If you turned off the ‘idiot box’ for just one show per night you have your 30-minutes right there.

5. Have a dog? Walk the dog at least twice a day

Dog walkers have been shown to be in better overall health than the rest of the population. And you have to walk the dog anyway so you have already created the time to work out.

6. Get up earlier

The day has a habit of catching up with us. So if you can get your workout in first thing in the morning in all likelihood it will not be the thing that gets skipped.

7. Walk/bike to work

With the advent of bike lanes on highways, this is becoming more and more popular. It will promote your health, save you money on transportation costs and help the environment.  It isn’t possible for everyone but if you work within 20-30 minutes walking or biking distance from your house it should be considered, at least on the days when it isn’t raining or snowing.

Use a pedometer and keep track of how many steps you take. Aim for 10,000 steps a day.

8. Make sure to use the weekends

Life tends to slow down for all of us (even if it is just a little) over the weekends. And being that most people commit to 3-5 days of exercise a week, you have two of those days right there. This way you only need to find the time to work out one day during the week.

9. When you’ve dropped the kids off at practice

OK, it’s 5pm and you just pulled up in the minivan and off loaded the kids for soccer practice. What do you do? Stand around and talk with the other parents? Not anymore. Your kids will be busy running around for the hour so you should be doing the same thing. A power walk around the soccer field for an hour will burn hundreds of calories and if you move quick enough with your pedometer (see #8) you could bang out Ѕ of those 10,000 steps right there.

If you have child care issues, gyms these days have child care so that your children will be safe and attended to while you exercise.

10. Think about how to get your kids involved in your workout

Just one example would be to play soccer with the kids in the backyard on your cardio day. The running back and forth will benefit both you and your kids at the same time. When playtime becomes workout time you have created the time to work out.

11. Consider calisthenics and resistance bands

Calisthenics are bodyweight workouts and you can do pushups, sit-ups and bodyweight squats anywhere. The only equipment that you need is yourself.

Resistance bands are very light and you can take them anywhere with you. I have a friend that is a delivery driver and he does his exercises in the back of the truck with resistance bands during his lunch hour. And looking for a great cardio workout you can do anywhere with no equipment? Try jumping jacks.

12. Get more out of social activities

Whether it is dancing or hiking, think of ways you can turn your social time into healthy time.

13. Get a Blue-Ray and involve the family

Whether it is Yoga, aerobics, kickboxing or anything else you want, by turning off the TV and putting on an exercise video that can involve the family you will all get the benefits of the workout.

Tony Rovere regained his health, strength and vitality by losing 60 pounds and managing to keep it off for over 4 years. This is why he shares his weight loss tips at health-and-weight-loss-tips.com, where he shares his passion for health and fitness with others so that they can accomplish the same goals that he has achieved.

Photo credit: ElvertBarnes

I was weeping uncontrollably in our office bathroom for almost half an hour…

Big international telecom company was going to launch in our country and fortunately (or unfortunately) I was part of the team of people who were supposed to make this happen.

We all had long months of overtime, sleepless nights, terribly high stress level and very high responsibility preasure. We were carrying the burden of high expectations and the fear of failure on our shoulders.

As a result, once in a while, one of us was losing control and breaking into tears with no particular reason.

Of course, this was an exceptional period. But even in normal working days there are many annoying moments, stressful situations and problems waiting for your solutions.

It’s a challenge to keep your high spirit and stay sane in stressful working days.

Here are some easy tips I used in order to avoid another weeping session in the office bathroom.

And guess what? They worked!

1. Don’t go to sleep too late – when you don’t get enough sleep at night there is a big chance that you will feel tired and irritated the next day.
2. Wake up with a smile – simply convince yourself that it’s going to be a really nice day. In the worst case it won’t, but on the other hand if you start off with a gloomy mood, the day will definitely be terrible. So you’ve got nothing to lose, right?
3. Have a mini-work out – I know it’s very difficult to start a work out when you are sleepy and have a busy working day ahead. But have at least 10-15 minutes stretching and you will feel much better.
4. Take a shower – this will freshen you up and make you feel completely awake and positive. It will also relax your muscles after the work out.
5. Have a healthy breakfast – I have heard this a thousand times and I know it’s true. And I never had breakfast before going to work. That’s very unfortunate because whenever I had unplanned early morning meeting or urgent issue to deal with all I could do was regret that I did not have breakfast. As a result my mood was spoiled.
6. Make a to do list – Yes, lists are very important. They help you visualize how much work you have for the day as well as not forget anything. Having your work volume right in front of you will help you implement effective time management.
7. Squeeze time for lunch – yes, you are too busy. Yes you do not have time for lunch….but, if you don’t eat when you are hungry, your work will be extremely unproductive and most of it won’t be done anyway.
8. Take your laptop to meetings – let’s face it, there are many meetings which are boring and don’t specifically address your projects. There are times when you have urgent burning issues which you can’t solve because of your obligatory presence on that dull meeting. Take your laptop and work on the urgent presentation of yours while they discuss things, which you can read later in filtered meeting minutes.
9. Think of the bright spot of the day – I am sure that work is not your whole life. After work you definitely have something nice to do – whether it’s going home and enjoying family, having dinner out, meeting friends or having guests. When things get really bad, think that just in a few hours you will be doing the pleasant thing you have planned for today and it will be easy to carry on.
10. Do the most irritating things first – choose the most depressing things from your to do list and do them first. While you have energy you will cope with them easier and you will have less stressful tasks for the rest of the day.
11. Don’t accumulate unanswered emails – make sure you reply to emails as they come. Have it as an ongoing thing in between tasks. That will help you avoid the “email duty” before you leave work for home.
12. Cheer up your desk – have something nice/cute/funny/positive on your desk because it will make you smile each time you look at it. During the day look at this thing and forget about the problem for a few seconds.
13. Make a phone call – no matter how busy you are you can always find a few minutes to call the ones you love. Those few minutes will charge you up with positive feelings and remind that work is not your whole life, but just part of it.
14. Music in your ears – If you do not have your separate office noise, conversations and ringing phones may get on your nerves when you need to concentrate. Put on the headphones, tune into your most productive music and concentrate on your task.

For many people full time work is part of every day life. We just need to make sure that it does not affect negatively our health, family and life balance.

Ani Chibukhchyan lives in Armenia. At present she is in the transitional period of transforming her writings from hobby to career. As a result she is online freelance writer and author of Life Probabilities blog.

Photo credit: gcoldironjr2003

While we all want to believe that we know how to live our lives at some point we realize that our strategy probably wasn’t the best one. (Of course, you won’t have this realization if you already feel that your life is in balance.)

Change is an essential part of life balance because you can’t grow as a person without changing your habits, lifestyle and your attitude. However, making that change is not always easy.

The first, and most difficult, step is admitting that you were wrong. If the change involves only you then this first step is not too bad (for example, if you know that you need to lose weight you can admit that your diet previously wasn’t the best choice.) However, admitting that you were wrong in a relationship, in your attitude at or towards work as well as many other life situations becomes increasingly more difficult.

And, most importantly, no life balance can be achieved without the Change.

A blogging friend of mine Alex Blackwell of The BridgeMaker has just released his first book Saying Yes to Change: 10 Timeless Life Lessons for Creating Positive Change which is now available on Amazon. I had an opportunity to read the book and to ask Alex a few questions. I think that everyone will benefit from the lessons shared by Alex in his book and in this interview.

Alex, what motivated you to write a book about change?
It’s been a story in the making for the past nine years. In 2003, my life was at a crossroads. On the verge of losing my wife, I decided it was time to change. The spiritual and personal formation seminar I mention early in the book provided the kick start needed.

A few years after attending the seminar, I started The BridgeMaker. It was soon clear that my message, and personal journey, resonated with many readers. So, long answer short, I decided to put my story in one place, a book, to inspire others to begin walking their paths to positive change, too.

What was the most difficult change that you had to make in life? What gave you strength to do it?

The most difficult thing I had to do was to acknowledge that my life was no longer working. For several years leading up to my marital separation in 2003, I was on autopilot.

I stopped investing in personal relationships; my focus was too much on my career and I became depressed. It wasn’t until my wife told me how unhappy she was and that she didn’t see a future for us, did I become motivated to change.

I didn’t want to lose my family or wife so I took that first step outside of my comfort zone and into fear. A few steps after that, I could see Fear wasn’t going to kill me so I kept taking more steps until I started seeing the change that I knew lived inside, but was too scared to come out.

In the book you share 10 timeless lessons for positive change. What was the most important lesson that you learned in life?

I think the chapter (or lesson) that seems to provide its power to me whenever I need it most and makes me feel strong on the days I feel weak is Lesson Nine: Take Down the White Flag.

I’m tempted to raise the white flag in defeat when I begin listening to the enemy of my soul. The enemy waits patiently and then whispers the lie he knows will persuade me to give up: “You don’t deserve it. You can’t possibly achieve it. So, why bother?”

But, today I’m learning to replace the lie with the truth. When I do this, I’m able to take down the white flag and replace it with a beautiful, new flag.

What, in your opinion, is the biggest benefit that the readers will get from your book?
Saying Yes to Change: 10 Timeless Life Lessons for Creating Positive Change is for anyone who feels the nudge to change; and it’s for people who are already walking the paths to positive change. If you feel stuck, alone or scared, the book will inspire you to acknowledge what you need to heal or change so you can begin living a happier, more meaningful life – right now.

Alex, in the last lesson you talk about Faith. How does faith guide you in life?

I believe we are born to fulfill a purpose that is unique to each one of us. Early in blogging, there were many times I felt like giving up. But I felt a nudge that kept prompting me not to surrender. This nudge is my faith and it’s been a constant companion giving me strength in times of weakness.

My faith has given me the power to provide forgiveness and then to ask for forgiveness; it has helped me reframe my past and my faith is helping me create a beautiful life today.

Finally, we all know that change can be overwhelming and frustrating. Can you share several tips for a balanced life change?
There are three things I try to do every day to live a balanced life:

1. Look for the gray in every situation – things usually aren’t just black or white.
2. Don’t get too excited about the highs and don’t get too sad about the lows – life has a way of balancing itself out.
3. When someone asks for love – give it freely, unconditionally.

If you feel that Change is what you need in life today then check out Alex’s book Saying Yes to Change: 10 Timeless Life Lessons for Creating Positive Change. It’s definitely worth your time!

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Last week I was invited to my friend’s jewelry party. She is starting her Premier jewelry business so I wanted to support her during her first show (if you are interested, friend Abigail Russo on Facebook and you’ll get a chance to be invited to her Facebook jewelry party – coming soon.)

The show was fun and enjoyable but most of all it was very educational for me. I am definitely not a person who can start a business like this and be successful at it. I am not a saleswoman… But after the show I had one question “Should I really try to be more of a sales person?”

If you think about it, our entire life today is focused on sales. The idea of pretty much any business is to sell something.

If you are looking for a job, you are technically “selling” your skills to the employer and the better you can present yourself the better price/salary you will get.

When we start looking for a partner we are trying to “sell” ourselves to the person we like. I know it sounds a little weird, but when you start/ed dating didn’t you try to look “wow” every time you went out on a date? Didn’t you think carefully of what you wanted to say or how you wanted to behave during your first dates? You were trying to present yourself in the best possible way to gain the affection of your potential future wife or husband.

Even when we have a disagreement with someone we are still trying to “sell” our viewpoint to another person.

I remember sitting in my Sunday school class one day. We were talking about spreading the gospel of Jesus and our teacher had an interesting point. He said,

“Did you ever get into a situation when you get stuck with a Mary Kay sales person in one room? (If you sell or buy Mary Kay, please don’t take it personally. It’s just an example.) The minute you see this person you know that she will try to sell you something. She walks into a restaurant and tries to sell Mary Kay to her waiter. She sells it anywhere she can because she is trained to do that. Why can’t we be as productive promoting the gospel of Jesus?”

I am not going into the theological discussion here but the point is that the “selling” concept is even present in sharing the gospel.

If I believe in something, I sell it, and I sell it hard.
Estee lauder

Whether we like it or not, sales are a huge part of our lives.

That’s the idea that stood behind the book The Art of the Sale by Philip Delves Broughton that I had a chance to review last week.

The book runs smoothly through a series of real life examples and case studies (Steve Jobs being of course one of the culmination points of the book) that show how the great salespeople work as well as how they are made.

According to Philip Broughton great salesmen are made, not born. Some of the key traits like resilience, persistence, optimism and empathy are formed early on in life but they can be developed at later stages too. He compares learning the art of the sale to learning a foreign language.

You can do it when you are an adult, but it’s a lot easier when you are a child.

When we think about salesmen we usually envision used car dealers, snooty fashion store assistants or pushy real estate agents. All of these are examples of a bad salesperson that treats customers poorly and leaves them feeling robbed. Unfortunately, when we think about selling that’s what first jumps into our mind.
When I went to a jewelry show last week I was a little afraid that I will be pushed to buy something, However, I had a wonderful and fun experience. I ordered the cutest pair of earrings; it was love from first sight

That show definitely made me think about the book The Art of the Sale. There is a lot that we can learn from great salespeople and all parts of our lives can benefit from this knowledge.

I think a lot of the secrets to selling are in fact common sense, but they get buried by our enthusiasm for quasi-scientific techniques and answers. […] Common sense isn’t common practice.
Philip Delves Broughton, The Art of the Sale.

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Keep it balanced!

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Do you sometimes feel that certain events from your past just can’t disappear from your memory? No matter how much you try you just can’t shake them off and move on in life?

Sometimes it can be something very important like divorce of parents or a childhood trauma but in other cases a small event (that seems almost irrelevant when you think about it logically) keeps nagging you for many years, stealing your joy and ability to be happy.

That’s what doctors George Pratt and Peter Lambrou call the “distress fog” in their new book Code to Joy: the four step solution to unlocking your natural state of happiness. I got this book for review a couple of weeks ago and immediately got interested in it.

Code to Joy focuses on dealing with past experiences or limiting beliefs that can keep you from being happy. Doctor Pratt focuses on the most common limiting beliefs that most of us experiences in one form or another:

1. I am not safe.
2. I am worthless.
3. I am powerless.
4. I am not lovable.
5. I cannot trust anyone.
6. I am bad.
7. I am alone.

All it takes is one small event or one tiny remark at the “right” time to create a deep trauma that will haunt you your entire life. Unless you unlock the event that caused this “fog of distress” and learn to deal with it you will never be able to find your happiness or balance. At least that’s what doctors Pratt and Lambrou are saying and it makes perfect sense to me.

The book itself is full of success stories and clinical examples from the practice of the authors. These real life examples make the book compelling and actually interesting to read no matter whether you have any issues to deal with or not.

Of course it gets only better when the doctors start talking about the practical techniques of dealing with these past experiences (that emotional baggage that most of us have and just can’t find a proper way to let go of.) The book describes several neuromuscular techniques that will help you tap into your subconscious mind and unlock any experiences that you might not be aware of. The idea behind it is very simple: your body has an unerringly accurate self-knowledge.

As a Mind & Body practitioner I know how deep our mind and body are connected. Once you start teaching your body a mindful movement pattern you open a whole new approach to life – the lifestyle of inner and outer balance. And that’s exactly what Code to Joy will teach you to do.

There was one short chapter in the book that made me a believer in the method. Here is a quote:

This is why popular approaches to self-improvement, such as positive thinking and affirmations, are so rarely as effective as their adherents hope they will be.

I wrote about the myth of positive thinking before and I believe that it is hyped out of proportion these days and many people actually lose their balance because they spend too much energy on maintaining artificial positivity instead of living a full life.

If you’ve tried positive thinking before and didn’t see any improvement (like most people) then Code to Joy might give you the answers you were looking for.

I would like to share one simple exercise from the book – crosshand breathing. It is used to clear and relax your mind in just two minutes (we all deserve a little break.)

• In a seated position cross your left ankle over your right one.
• Place your left hand across your chest, so that the fingers rest over the right side of your collarbone. Then cross your right hand over your left, so that the fingers of your right hand rest over the left side of your collarbone.
• Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. As you breathe in, let your tongue touch the roof of your mouth, just behind your front teeth. As you breathe out, let your tongue rest behind your lower front teeth.

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Keep it balanced!

My psychologist had urged me to maintain more social contact, which is positive to my recovery from depression. Also, I liked that friend and wanted to spend more time with her.

On the other hand however, I was hoping to finish some writing for my blog, which was also therapy for me in a way. I had done some 2 hours of writing that day already but felt that I had fallen short of my goal to produce an article.

So I was tempted to carry on writing and forgo the chance to do some fun exercise with a friend for I thought I had not written enough…

But, when is enough, enough?

I sat for 20 minutes in this dilemma, trying to decide what to do, until I remembered something my psychologist had taught me during our cognitive behaviour therapy sessions. Indeed, I had previously written about “The Balance Model” on my blog and a psychology website.

The Balance Model is divided into 4 quadrants:

• on the X axis (horizontal), visualize “Self” and “Social” as opposing forces
• on the Y axis (vertical), visualize “Achievements” and “Fantasy” as opposing forces

The quadrants are as follows:

1. Self
   represents anything that relates to the individual and the individual alone, for example, health, diet, exercise, me-time, interests, sleep, hobbies…
2. Social
   represents anything to do with other people, such as dinner with friends, social clubs, events, seminars, romantic relationships…
3. Achievements
   represents anything that involves an increase in knowledge or the individual considers a goal or achievement, for instance, career promotions, language skills to help equip the individual for a job, examinations and professional qualifications…
4. Fantasy
   represents anything that has to do with dreams, daydreams, wishes, something that does not necessarily have to be attainable…

Part of my self-destruction was brought about by focusing too much in the Achievements quadrant in the last 20 odd years – indeed burnt out should not have been surprising given the time I spent accomplishing goals after goals I set for myself.

Consequently, I had neglected my “Self” and my health deteriorated into severe migraines, back pains and eventually major depression. I also had no time to spend with friends or cultivate relationships.

During my recovery, I rediscovered my passion for writing, and started blogging about my reflections on living with depression and self-awareness. However, this passion became yet another “Achievement” for me, and it wasn’t fun anymore.

Day after day I spent time mulling over SEOs, keywords, regularly posting articles, drafting articles, establishing a platform for eventually, and hopefully a book. Even in my misery, I was trying to accomplish something for the world to see instead of focusing on my own health.

I sat on my couch, and looked out the window, contemplating an otherwise easy to respond invitation.

Visualizing the Balance Model in my head, I placed “Writing” in the Achievements quadrant, whereas “bike riding” belonged to the Social quadrant. I was very skewed towards the Achievements quadrant and it was up to me to change that habit. Therefore, even though I could not quantify it, I decided today’s writing was enough.

It was enough for me, in my life, in my circumstance, at that particular moment in time.

The Social quadrant was what I needed to work on, and thus I went bike riding with my friend and had a wonderful time out in the open. What felt like idling away my time because I wasn’t “achieving” something turned out to be pleasurable and gave me new inspiration for my writing.

It might be a different scenario for you, but next time you are considering between choices, trying using the Balance Model to help you decide.

Balance does not mean equal quantity. It means the right amount at the right time.

What quadrant do you have to focus on today?

Noch Noch worked in banking as an international executive for the last 7 years and had to quit her job last year due to major depression and severe migraines, and now reflecting on different recovery methods and how to be true to herself at “Be Me. Be Natural.” .

Photo credit: Khánh Hmoong

April 15th is known in the US as Tax Day which sends shivers down everyone’s backs every year (this year it’s April 17th of course).

Those who are planning to watch Titanic 3D or are just huge history fans might know that April 15th is the day the Titanic actually slipped under the water forever.

For Orthodox Christians (the religion I grew up in) April 15th this year is Easter Sunday.

My grandmother knows and loves this date because it’s the birthday of her favorite Russian singer (okay, maybe there is one more reason why she loves this date )

April 15th is my Birthday. Yaaay! And I am going to celebrate it! This year I am turning 27 and I am not afraid to say it. Mostly, because I am still young enough not to have to hide my real age… Secondly, because I really don’t feel like 27 yet (more like 24)… And, finally, I just love to celebrate my birthday – it brings out the inner child in me at least for this one day.

So, if you would like to have a cake today – I think it would be a great idea! I even want to share my favorite recipe with you. It’s the most delicious moist and heavenly luscious dark chocolate cake you have ever tried. And, what’s even more important, it’s easy to make (I am a horrible baker so if I can make it – anyone else can make it too.)

But before we get to the sweet stuff I thought I’d give you something else to enjoy.

For three days only (that’s how long I’ll be celebrating my birthday this year) you can buy my ecourse Reclaim Your Life at a discounted price. Actually you will decide what the course is worth to you. The minimum price of the course is $22 (it’s a 40% discount from the original price) and you can go up from there. Think of it as a mutually beneficial gift: you are getting an awesome product that will help you rebalance your life.

I also prepared a special bonus for everyone who buys the ecourse April 15th through April 17th – the Bonus Life Balance Workbook. It contains 4 additional exercises (never mentioned before) that will help you discover your personal road towards life balance and create action steps that will get you to your destination.

How to get the Reclaim Your Life course at “pay-what-you-can” price

If you are seeing this page then the Birthday Sale is over. I am sorry that you missed it. Make sure to subscribe to the newsletter to receive all important updates and news right to your inbox.

You can still purchase the Reclaim Your Life course – click here and read how awesome it is.

4 Reasons why Reclaim Your Life is worth your attention:

1. The Reclaim Your Life course has already helped dozens of people build a stress-free balanced lifestyle while actually enjoying their life.
2. “I can’t believe you charge so little for the course. It has helped me transform my life, it’s worth way more than $37.95!”
3. This course has been selling well for the past 6 months and if you were looking for a perfect time to buy it then now might be just the right time.
4. Some of the comments of the Reclaim Your Life participants before they started the course
   “I am constantly behind on everything; I can never catch up with my life!”
   “I am running like a hamster on a hamster wheel 24/7. Can you help me?”
   “I have no idea how to find time for all my projects without sacrificing important parts of my life.”
   “I know what needs to be done (sometimes) but I keep procrastinating and can’t find motivation to make the right changes in my life.”
   Comments after they completed the course:
   “I finally have time to breathe and enjoy my life. It’s wonderful!”
   “Thank you so much for showing me how to balance my life with ease. Now I finally feel in control of my life.”
   “Thanks to your exercises I finally found time for my family – the most important people in my life – and found time for myself.”
   “Now I know how to beat procrastination before it starts taking over my life.”

Now let’s get to the sweet stuff. Yuuumm!!!

Best Ever Extra Dark Chocolate Cake

Ingredients
2 cups white sugar
2 cups all-purpose flour
½ cup butter
½ cup vegetable oil
1 cup water
¾ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ cup fat-free buttermilk (or kefir)
2 eggs
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Frosting:
¾ cup butter
2 cups confectioner’s sugar
1/3 cup milk
4 oz unsweetened chocolate baking bar (you can skip it but it really makes the frosting stand out for the ultimate dark chocolate experience)
3 tbs unsweetened cocoa powder
2 tsp vanilla extract

Directions:

1. Grease two round 8 inch cake pans (or use parchment paper). Preheat oven to 375 F (190 C.)
2. Combine 2 cups white sugar and 2 cups flour together; set aside.
3. In a saucepan combine ½ cup butter, oil, water and coca. Bring mixture to a boil, remove from heat and add to try ingredients.
4. In a different bowl dissolve baking soda in buttermilk, add beaten eggs, salt and vanilla.
5. Add the buttermilk mixture to the flour mixture; stir well.
6. Pour batter into two 8” round cake pans. Bake at 375 F or 25 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.

Frosting:

7. Melt chocolate in a double boiler or microwave on high for 1 minute (add more time if needed.)
8. In a big mixing bowl beat butter until fluffy.
9. Gradually add sugar, cacao, milk and vanilla extract.
10. Finally add melted chocolate and mix until well combined.
11. Let the cake cool a little bit before taking it out of the pan. If the cake starts falling part –don’t worry. Just press it together and use frosting to “glue” it together. The cake will taste only better.
12. First frost the bottom layer. If you want, you can sprinkle crushed pecans, walnuts or chocolate chips before you put the second layer. Then frost the second layer and decorate it to your liking (I usually use shaved dark chocolate for decoration.)
13. The cake is ready! Enjoy!
14. Tip: Is the whole cake too much for you and your family? Cut it into serving-size pieces, put it on the baking tray and set it in the freezer. Once the frozen had hardened wrap each piece into serene wrap and aluminum foil and keep it in the freezer until you crave a decadent desert. Once frozen, it tastes just like chocolate ice-cream cake – delicious!

And of course you can leave a comment just to wish me Happy Birthday. It would most certainly make my day

Keep it balanced!

Achieving balance and simplicity is much easier said than done for most people. We forget to remind ourselves to step back, breathe, and appreciate the simple things when we’re constantly on auto-pilot, working ourselves to the bone, and falling victim to overwhelming stress and pressure.

For me, achieving balance and simplicity is all about making it a habit to do so. It is habitual for me to consider play to be just as necessary as work, make time for the things that matter most in my life, and cut myself some slack when I recognize that I’m putting too much pressure on myself.

I can easily turn into a reactive and overwhelmed basketcase if I get too anxious, emotional, or stressed out. My mental health and overall well-being is important to me – and making balance a priority in my life typically leads to that good mental health and overall well-being.

Asking yourself the following questions will help you get clear on your priorities, be honest with yourself, and hopefully, make steps towards a more balanced and simple life.

1. Am I taking care of myself? Sometimes we get so wrapped up in taking care of others that we forget to take care of ourselves. It can be so easy to leave ourselves behind.
   Identify any areas of your life where you may be neglecting your health or happiness. What steps can you take to make self-care more of a priority?
2. Do I have too much clutter? Drowning ourselves in too many material possessions can ultimately lead to stress. Get clear on what you absolutely need and what you can get rid of.
3. Do I take time out of my day purely for myself? We all need a little “me time.” Set aside some time every day to just relax and do something that you enjoy, whether that is reading, meditating, watching TV, cooking, spending quality time with your loved ones, etc.
4. Am I eating healthy? The types of foods we eat can greatly affect how we feel both physically and emotionally.

   Eating too much junk food can lead to crankiness and a relatively low energy level, whereas eating healthy foods can lead to better moods and a more positive energy level. Take a look at your own eating habits and see if there is a certain one that you can improve or eliminate altogether.

5. What are my core values? What is important to you as an individual? Is it family, health, spirituality, work, etc.?

   Make sure that you are living in alignment with what matters most to you.

6. Am I maintaining healthy relationships? Is there a relationship in your life that needs a little extra care and attention? Do you need to right a wrong with someone?

   Try to stay aware of how you’re treating the people in your life.

7. Am I working too hard? Taking time to re-charge and spend time on activities that make you happy is so important. Honor your desire to pull back from work or school pressure when needed and give yourself time to breathe, even if it’s only for a few minutes at a time.
8. Am I playing too hard? A lack of motivation to accomplish certain things can throw you off balance or make you feel stressed out and pressured later on. Taking breaks is very necessary, but if you take so many breaks that your productivity level drops, or you get into the habit of procrastinating too much, it might be time to balance out your schedule so that you will get a generous amount of things done and still have time for breaks and leisure.
9. Am I spending too much? Overspending can lead to stress, clutter, and financial complications. It can also turn into a nasty habit over time.

   Distinguish your wants from your needs and try to maintain a healthy balance between the two. Saving money is an excellent practice and you will more than likely be glad you did in case of an emergency.

10. Am I worrying about the future? Worrying about something that hasn’t even happened yet causes stress and anxiety. Focus on the moment in front of you and realize that it is all that exists.
11. Am I dwelling on the past? It is very tempting and almost involuntary to look back on the past and obsess over something we regret or something we miss. Learn to let go and only focus on what’s happening right now, and on the choices you will make today.
12. Is there something I am clinging to? We don’t always realize when we’re clinging to something harmful when it feels safe and familiar, whether it is an unfulfilling job, an unhealthy relationship, or a stagnant way of life. Recognize if you are clinging to something that isn’t serving you and work on taking small steps towards change and release.

Madison Sonnier has written for several online publications, including Tiny Buddha and Mind Body Green. She loves to express herself and you can read her personal life ramblings at Journey of a Soul Searcher.

Did you ever get up in the morning with stiffness or pain in your low back? Or maybe you woke up and found out that you can’t straighten up because of the acute pain in your back?

What does low back pain have to do with life balance? If you have ever experienced this type of pain then you know that there are very few things that will make you feel good or balanced when you are suffering from pain.

Last year I had a horrible experience (you can read about it here.) One morning I woke up with piercing pain in my lower back area that was so excruciating that it was difficult to stand up. I couldn’t straighten up and I couldn’t bend down. I was stuck in one position and I thought that something was terribly wrong with me. And to make matters only worse, I was only 26 so I didn’t think that I was in the “back-pain” age yet.

Thankfully I was able to get through this bout of pain by moving and doing gentle exercise. However, I never want to experience that feeling again.
A lot of you might know already that I am also a Pilates instructor. One of the main reasons why people turn to Pilates is because they are suffering from some sort of back pain. Lately I was spending a lot of time at the studio while still thinking about our community here on BalanceInMe.

“Why not create a simple workout for low back pain relief for the wonderful balance-seekers on BalanceInMe?” I thought to myself.

Next day I was up and at it.

The most surprising facts about back pain are that

• 80% of people will suffer from back pain at some point of their lives;
• Only 10-15 % of back pain cases are caused by serious conditions (arthritis, cancer, infection etc.)
• 85-90% of back pain incidents are related to poor posture, sedentary lifestyle, extra weight or sports injuries caused by poor technique.

I don’t know any single person (above the age of 18) who hasn’t complained of back pain at some point in their lives. Back pain doesn’t discriminate and can catch you off-guard no matter what lifestyle you are leading:

• Whether you sit a lot or stand a lot,
• whether you exercise a lot or never exercise,
• whether you are slim or heavy, and
• whether you pick up heavy weights all the time or lead a sedentary lifestyle.

I hope you will enjoy the video that I made for you and you will stick to this simple routine to eliminate or prevent back pain. Think of this easy 15-minute workout as a valuable investment into your health and wellbeing and an effortless way to clear your mind after a long day. Enjoy!

You can also download detailed descriptions and pictures of all exercises from my new website – Exercise for Low Back Pain. If you are interested in safe and simple workouts for your back and overall wellbeing then please subscribe to receive the latest updates.

Let me know if you ever suffer from back pain and what you think about the workout in the comments below.

Keep it balanced!

Photo credit: rachel a.k.