Baleshwar Prasad (Dad: As we remember him)

The end of a legend....

2012-05-25T21:38:00.003-07:00

My Dad is nearing the end stages of his battle with Alzheimer's and our family is struggling to comprehend and accept. He has had a long hard battle with Alz that lasted 9 years and frankly its amazing he has made it this far. We are all finding ways to say good-bye to him. I was thinking back to his legacy and his accomplishments and that list seems like lie it is just so amazing. How could one person do so much?

I think about what our children and our children's children will say about him and it occurred to me he will be a legend... A legend that only happens in storybooks: a small child in the poverty stricken villages of Bihar (no clothes on his back) with a big dream. He fought every possible catastrophe and conquered all of his fears, from hunger to floods to only God knows what else he encountered living on then streets of Calcutta. He is the hero you read about in storybooks and I am so proud I got to be near him...I got to witness the spirit and power of "Never giving up and to dream big". I just wish there was someway, anyway to keep in touch with him as he makes it to the afterlife. I hope we have a few more weeks and maybe a few more months with him.

Ultimately, I would give anything to have a conversation with him.

Big Fish

2011-06-19T11:38:00.001-07:00

"Kept in a small bowl, the goldfish will remain small.. with more space, the fish will grow double, triple or quadruple its size."

It's father's day and I'm watching Big Fish... No movie better summarizes Dad for me. From leaving Kamalpur to getting his college degree. Leaving for America, building a life, chasing dreams...

Happy Father's day DaDa!

30,60 90 Triangles

2011-02-27T21:10:00.000-08:00

Going back to Algebra Math really brings me back to Dad.

It was always the same routine. Nightly, he would walk from room to room to see what each child was doing, and when intrigued by the subject we were working on, he'd invite us back to his room so he could teach us more about the subject (or the right way of doing it). Dad was always intrigued by Math- any level, he just couldn't be stumped.We never wanted to be caught doing math, because boy was he good in math. And he wasn't just good in math, he was brilliant at it. He knew had to solve equations in such rudimentary form. He laughed at us when we asked to spend $90 on a graphing calculator. (In fact I don't think we anyone of us ever got money to spend on one). But I digress.

If by chance you were caught doing math, he would tell you to bring your notebook to his room so he can teach how its really done. The walk from my room to his always seemed way too short. In his cave, he would start with the problem and ask me if knew the definition of the term, "Do you know what Cosign means?". Usually I didn't-- hey, I was just learning it for the next day's test...so usually I would say "No" to which he would saying something of the sort "You need to learn from the beginning. If you don't know the beginning you will never learn" and then he would turn the book back three chapters to make sure I understood the roots. If I didn't know how to answer questions in that chapter, he would go back 3 more chapters. Sometimes I would be doing homework in Chapter 12 of my Trig. book only to leave his room back at Chapter 1. And boy was he a stickler. He would hold us accountable for finishing all the problems in the previous chapters to ensure we understood what the heck a hypotenuse on a triangle was, or what a 30,60,90 triangle really meant. But we always got good grades in Math. And oddly, we all find joy in doing any type of Math problems. (How many people can say that?)

Fast forward 15+ years and here I am revisiting all of these principles once again for another test. I still get stuck, sorry Dad, I sometimes learned how to fake solving the problems with you too :) But I can still hear his voice and remember his perfect handwriting. The way he used to draw his very cool "x" or his perfect 90 degree angles.

I felt like writing this post to just say: Dad, as much as I hated being called into your room, and would curse myself for being caught doing math on the walk from my room to yours, I wish you could help me on a few problems today. Nevertheless, thanks for building my foundation,I hope to pass your math principles down for many generations to come.

(two two-ja four, three three-ja nine, four four-ja, sixteen :) )

Chilling

2011-02-27T12:14:00.000-08:00

What Would Dad Do?

2011-02-08T11:58:00.000-08:00

The past two years have been life changing for me. Getting laid off from my government job, starting a company, moving back home. I definitely have days of not knowing which direction to go, or if I'm headed in the right direction. I wish Dad could be mentally able to help me make some decisions. When I feel really lost I always think about how Dad must have felt when he left Kamalpur that day. Making it to Nawadah probably wasn't a big deal, but getting on that train to Calcutta... Man that must have been some feeling. I wonder how often he doubted his decision. I know he never retreated, so he was steadfast on his resolve to make it. Every now and then when I feel like retreating, I wonder what would dad do?

30's comparison

2011-01-27T12:22:00.000-08:00

Found an old pic of Dad

2011-01-25T17:57:00.000-08:00

Found a rather old pic of my Dad. He must have been in his 30's here. I kind of look like him!

Dad in his suit

2011-01-03T22:06:00.000-08:00

2003 Dad at Sandh's DC Reception

2011-01-03T22:05:00.000-08:00

Profound

2010-12-01T11:54:00.001-08:00

Coherent Dad

2010-11-30T21:17:00.000-08:00

Not sure what brought Dad back to us for those few hours last weekend, but those few hours were amazing. The way he was crossing his legs, cracking jokes, talking to us about how great he is :) Back to the good ole' days. At one point I asked him, "Whats your name?" He looked at me and said "You dont know my name? Everyone knows my name!" Haha. So great to see that's still in him when his mind isn't "resting".

Love you Daddio. Looking forward to the next time you come back to us.

A walk down memory lane

2010-11-26T16:22:00.000-08:00

The Car

2010-11-11T18:21:00.001-08:00

Dad bought this exact car (different pic) from one of our neighbors for $500. This was at a time when he could've afforded something much better. But that was the type of guy he was. He never bought things for himself, instead focused his attention on family members. It was a great example to set for each of us.

Of course, Jay probably has the best stories on this one. He used to get dropped off to school in this beast.

Dad at home with the ladies

2010-10-27T20:03:00.000-07:00

The Malibu

2010-10-17T23:12:00.000-07:00

Dad loved his Malibu. He always talked about it. It was his first car and as far as influences go, this is where his love affair with cars started. Can you imagine dad rolling around in one of these bad boys. I can.

The Pantry at Chrisholm

2010-10-11T14:52:00.000-07:00

I remember the first time we got home from Costco and filled our pantry up with boxes and boxes of food. Our pantry was full! I don't think it had ever been that full before, or possibly after. It was very satisfying for us to stack up all the cereal boxes and cookies in neat rows. More food than we would ever need. When we were finished putting away all the groceries I remember Dad came by and took a look at the pantry. He said, "It should always be this full."

I've always thought about that moment: the look on Dad's face has never left me. He was so proud of this achievement. As a kid I couldn't understand what there was to be proud of, as an adult I get it I just know I'll never understand it. I'll never understand the worth of a pantry full of food, because I've never had a hungry day in my life. Can you imagine how it must have felt for Dad to have accomplished: "All the food you can ever eat and then some", after years of struggling on the streets of Calcutta.

I always remember those years in Chrisholm as some of the best years of my life. I think they were some of Dad's too. His mind was still there, he could really begin to see the fruits of his labor, seven kids running around, a successful life in America. That moment at the pantry was culmination of years of hard work. I think Dad really felt like he'd made it that evening.

I wonder how he'd feel today? Seven grown successful kids. His real estate business steady and growing. Little grand daughters running around. Such a full life. Imagine if he'd never left Kamalpur?

Nyquil Induced Dad Dream

2010-09-20T13:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I reading this post by a son who's father was also diagnosed with ALZ. He mentioned that the worst part about it was the fact that even though his Dad's was still alive, his memories with and about his Dad basically ended as soon as he was diagnosed with ALZ. That statement really hit home for me because the last memories I have of Dad are not when I saw him last Sunday, or when I will see him this upcoming Sunday, but of 2003 and older.

Anyway, I read this article as I took two cups of Nyquil and was about to go to sleep. (I am feeling under the weather even at this moment). Anyone who has ever taken medicine like Nyquil knows how weird your dreams can get and how you wake up remembering them with such great detail.

As you can guess, my dream was super bizarre. We were at Dad's funeral, open coffin, it was a viewing of him and it was in a lecture hall, full of people we didn't know but that he had touched. In the middle of a speech by some random, we (me and Anita) all of a sudden saw Dad get up from his coffin and just start walking out. I yelled "DAD!" Dad replied with "Hain, Beta. Let's go!" And we followed him just like that. Didn't even question his immortality. He strutted out of that lecture hall with his confident strut. We then took some back exits to the outside of the building, it was Mom, Dad, me and Anita. Dad looked at Mom and said "Are you Kunty?" to which Mom replied "Yes." And Dad said "Now I remember. I remember everything." We then walked outside and saw Sandhya, Pankaj, Jayant, Anju and Pinki playing in the snow. We joined in and it was like a Happy Ending to a movie. I woke up hearing the echos of his "Hain Beta." I can't remember the last time I heard him say that, but it was so loud and real in my dream.

I am not sure what that dream means, if anything...or maybe it just shows how weird I really am :) But I had this strong hope of Dad's immortality and maybe he would win the fight against Alzheimer's. I know that most likely he will not, but I woke up with a smile because even if it were just for those 2 minutes, I was with the Dad that I will always remember.

Strong, confident, immortal Dad.

The Chase

2010-09-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

We each have a different relationship with Dad. Jay's with Dad is so hilarious. Jay will go into Dad's room bother him to the point where I randomly see him chasing Jay down the hallway. It's pretty hilarious and special at the same time.

Dad Quick Interviews

2010-07-25T21:44:00.000-07:00

Not sure if you guys can see this, but let me know. Just some quick convos I had with Dad this past weekend. We should take more video of him while we can:

http://www.youtube.com/user/renuprasad#p/a/u/1/YSHEuJJdWfQ

Dadisms

2010-07-16T09:08:00.001-07:00

When in doubt go back to something dad would say:

Fortune favors the bold.

(one of my favorites).

Mom and Dad dancing at my wedding 7 years ago

2010-07-02T22:00:00.000-07:00

I found this ultra cute pic of Mom and Dad dancing at my wedding 7 years ago. My Mom looks so happy here. My Dad was showing signs of Alzeihmers back then. He forgot names, got stuck during his reception speech. None of us suspected Alzeihmers.

9 Steps to reverse dementia

2010-07-01T14:00:00.000-07:00

Interesting article by Dr. Mark Hyman:

http://www.ultrawellness.com/blog/9-steps-to-reverse-dementia?utm_campaign=2602-07012010&utm_medium=email&utm_source=newsletter&utm_content=default

Recently, I spoke on a panel for PBS TV at the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) convention in Boston. The topic was dementia.
There was a woman with mild cognitive impairment on the panel. Her condition is sort of like pre-Alzheimer's disease. Everyone on the panel -- including the Harvard neurologist -- agreed that memory loss is NOT a normal part of aging. The sad part was that the panel didn't have much to offer people in the way of prevention. Their only solution was just a very bad and pretty ineffective selection of drugs with lots of side effects.
But there is another way to think about brain aging. The brain responds to all the same insults as the rest of the body -- stress, poor diet, toxins, lack of exercise or sleep, nutritional deficiencies, and more. All we have to do is give the brain a tune-up and we can see miracles. In today's blog I will give you nine tips that will allow you to do that. But first, let's look a little more closely at the magnitude of this problem.
Dementia on the Rise
Dementia is a big problem and growing every day. Ten percent of 65-year olds, 25 percent of 75-year olds, and 50 percent of 85-year olds will get Alzheimer's disease -- at a cost of $60 billion a year to society. Worse, the number of people with Alzheimer's is predicted to triple in the next few decades. It is now the seventh leading cause of death.(i)
I believe this preventable, that we can slow this trend and even reverse it. In a moment, I will tell you how. But first I want to explain why just naming a disease -- whether it is dementia or anything else -- is becoming increasingly unhelpful (unless you just want to match the drug to the disease which is the only thing doctors are trained to do).
We have to think about individuals, not diseases. In medicine, our genetic differences are more important than our similarities.
Sometimes the practice of medicine lags behind the science, and sometimes the practice gets ahead of the science. Genetic testing puts us squarely in the middle of that dilemma. We are at a crossroads, where the old ideas we have about disease and diagnosis become less meaningful as we understand more and more about the importance of individual differences in determining illness. This a time when personalized medicine will replace medicine based on diagnosis and disease.
In fact, disease and diagnosis as we know it will soon be an obsolete concept, an artifact of medical history, like bloodletting or phrenology (the art of diagnosis based on the shape of your skull, popular in the 19th century). The reason is simply this: Naming a disease does nothing to help us identify and treat the underlying causes of the disease. We must address these causes if we have any hope of helping individuals heal.
I'd like to illustrate this through the story of one of my patients who had a diagnosis of dementia.
Treating Individuals, Not Diseases
George and his wife came to see me because he could no longer manage his business affairs, had become increasingly unable to function at home, and had to withdraw from family and social relationships. He was desperate as he felt himself slipping away.
There is no effective known treatment for dementia. But we do know a lot about what affects brain function and brain aging: our nutrition, inflammation, environmental toxins, stress, exercise, and deficiencies of hormones, vitamins, and omega-3 fats.
It is not just one gene, but the interaction between many genes and the environment that puts someone at risk for a chronic disease such as dementia. And we know that many things affect how our genes function -- our diet, vitamins and minerals, toxins, allergens, stress, lack of sleep and exercise, and more.
Even though no long-term studies have been done to look at treating dementia based on genes, there are so many scientific threads that weave together a picture of how and why our brains age and what genes are involved. This leads me back to George ...
For this man, whose mind and life were evaporating, I looked deeply into his genes and the biochemistry his genes controlled and found places where we could improve things.
He had a gene called apo E4, which is a high-risk gene for Alzheimer's disease(ii) and also made it hard for him to lower his cholesterol and detoxify mercury from his brain.(iii) He also had a version of a gene for detoxification of metals and other toxins (glutathione-S-transferase, or GST)(iv) that was very inefficient, making him accumulate more toxins over his lifetime. Having the combination of a problem with GST and apo E4 puts people at even more risk for dementia.(v),(vi) In another study, people with an absent GST gene were likely to have much higher levels of mercury.(vii)
George had another gene called MTHFR(viii) that made him require very high doses of folate to lower his blood levels of homocysteine, which is a substance very toxic to the brain. Lastly, he had a gene called CETP that caused his cholesterol to be high, which contributes to dementia. Combine this gene with the apo E4 gene and your risk of dementia goes way up.(ix)
We found that George had high levels of mercury(x) and helped him detoxify with foods such as kale, watercress, and cilantro, herbs such as milk thistle, nutrients such as selenium and zinc, and medications that helped him overcome his genetic difficulties by getting rid of toxins.
We lowered his cholesterol with diet and herbs. We lowered his homocysteine with high doses of folate and vitamins B6 and B12.
What happened then was impressive ...
After a year of aggressive therapy that was matched to his genes, not his diagnosis, he had a remarkable and dramatic recovery. Before I saw him, he could not manage his business, nor did his grandchildren want to be around him. After matching his treatment to his genes, he was again able to function, and his grandchildren loved being with him again.
While this area of genetic testing and nutrigenomics is new, and more research is needed to help us refine our understanding and treatment, there are ways to look through new doors into an entirely new era of medicine that no longer focuses on the disease, but on the person and their uniqueness. Here's another example of how we can do that.
A woman named Christine was eighty and was experiencing severe memory loss and cognitive decline. Her family was obviously concerned, so she was tested with hours of neuropsychological testing and found to have dementia.
Her neurologist offered her words of comfort, but told her and her family there is no treatment truly effective to stop or reverse the progression of dementia. That's when her daughter brought her to see me.
We discovered many subtle changes in her health that on their own wouldn't explain dementia, but when added all together put a strain on her brain function. All we did was correct those problems -- low thyroid function, mercury toxicity, inflammation, and deficiencies in vitamins B6 and D, folate, coenzyme Q10, and omega-3 fats -- and improved her diet overall. I encouraged her to exercise, because exercise can help improve cognitive function and prevent dementia.
Six months later, she had the extensive memory tests repeated. Her psychologist was surprised to report that her scores got BETTER!
To put this in perspective, mental decline happens progressively, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but NEVER gets better -- according to our traditional medical thinking.
But just like we once thought that heart disease and artery-clogging plaques couldn't be reversed (and now have proof that this does happen), I believe dementia can be reversed (if caught early enough) by attending to all the factors that affect brain function - diet, exercise, stress, nutritional deficiencies, toxins, hormonal imbalances, inflammation, and more.
It is really quite simple. Like everything I describe in UltraWellness, you get rid of the bad stuff, put in the good stuff, and the body heals. It's common sense, but we are so far from that in the way we treat chronic illness with conventional medicine.
So if you know someone with memory loss, look at all the keys to UltraWellness extremely aggressively to find what imbalances are present and how to fix them. Remember, there will be no one treatment that works for everyone, because everyone is different. But here are some things to think about if you or a loved one are experiencing memory loss or dementia.
9 Steps to Reversing Dementia
Start by looking hard for correctable causes of memory loss. They include:
• Pre-diabetes or metabolic syndrome
• Low thyroid function
• Depression
• Deficiencies in B vitamins, especially vitamin B12
• Omega-3 fat deficiencies
• Mercury or other heavy metal toxicity
• Vitamin D deficiency
• High cholesterol
• Unique genes that predispose you to nutritional or detoxification problems
Doctors who practice Functional Medicine and follow the principles I talk about in UltraWellness can help you find these problems.
Once you identify the underlying causes of the imbalance, here are a few things that can help your mind get a tune-up:
1. Balance your blood sugar with a whole foods, low glycemic diet
2. Exercise daily -- even a 30-minute walk can help
3. Deeply relax daily with yoga, meditation, biofeedback, or just deep breathing
4. Take a multivitamin and mineral supplement
5. Take an omega-3 fat supplement
6. Take extra vitamin B6, B12, and folate
7. Take vitamin D
8. Treat thyroid or low sex hormones
9. Get rid of mercury through a medical detoxification program
This is just a start, but it can go a long way to giving your brain the chance to heal and recover if you have memory problems. Even if you aren't suffering from cognitive decline, you should take these steps because they can help you prevent the aging of your brain and obtain lifelong health.
Now I'd like to hear from you...
Have you noticed memory loss as you've gotten older?
What have you done about the problem so far?
Which of these steps do you plan to follow?
Do you have any other recommendations?
Please share your thoughts by adding a comment below.
To your good health,
Mark Hyman, M.D.

Happy Father's Day Dad, We all Love you and Miss you!

2010-06-20T21:49:00.001-07:00

Happy Father's Day

2010-06-20T21:16:00.000-07:00

Some great stories on Father's day by Renu and Anju, really brought back some great memories.

I think it's pretty great how we are choosing to remember the great things about dad... it's all about what you focus on. I am so grateful that Dad let go with us. After college or at some point during he basically just let go. He didn't help us buy a car, find a job, choose a life partner, pick a path. I know there have been times when I wish Dad was more involved, but him letting go forced me to learn. It really forced me to fail and learn. Nothing is a better lesson than failing. There is only so much hand holding a parent can do.

I do believe somehow he remembers who we are... Thank you for all the good times and knowledge.

Happy Father's Day Dad!

2010-06-20T19:48:00.000-07:00

Year after year, Dad always had the same reaction to us greeting him on Father's Day:

Us: Happy Father's Day Dad!
Him: Am I your Dad? (Jokingly of course)
Us: DAAADDDDDD! (Annoyed)

Today as Dad walked down from his room, I said "Happy Father's Day Dad!" to which he looked at me and didn't respond. The ironic thing is, in his head he was probably thinking "Am I your Dad?". Boy did I miss and long for his usual reaction.

I hope that he knows how much we love him and how much we appreciate everything he has done for us. He is such a superman figure in our lives and I am glad we celebrate this day to honor him and all of the other amazing Father's out there. They really do deserve one day of the year to be named after them.

Dad, I missed your sarcastic reaction today. I hope you can remember us giving you our school made presents, or the yearly Levis jeans + collared shirt that Mom would buy you every year for us to give you. We remember all circling around you, handing it to you, and you opening it so carefully pretending to not know what was in there. (Only to get the same present year after year :) )

I hope you can feel the appreciation that we have towards your love for books and how you have instilled that in each one of us. I hope know what a sense of family you have built into each one of us. Mostly I hope you know that you love for adventure and taking chances is instilled deeply in each one of us. And we'd like to Thank you for that amongst many other things.

So to all the Dad's out there, Happy Father's Day. Thank you for everything you do. You make the world go round!