Ballroom Dancing: Changing My Life One Step at a Time

Please check out This Single Serving Life!

2012-01-17T14:18:00.005-06:00

Hi everyone! Thank you so much for continuing to make this Chicagoland Ballroom Dance blog the best it can be!

While I don't dance anymore, I do keep the links active on this blog.

The best news is, I'm still blogging!

Please follow my new adventures at This Single Serving Life!

You can also join me on Facebook as Single Serving Life and on Twitter @singleservelife!

I can't wait to continue to share life's journeys with you!

Keep dancing my friends, Happy Dancing, Happy Life! I do hope to return to the ballroom floor in the future!

If You Can't Find It... Create It....

2011-11-01T04:08:00.001-05:00

Who said "If you can't find it...create it?" I don't know, and I don't feel like using my friend Google to find out if that's a real quote or not. Well it's real, cuz if no one else said it... I just did.

Hi out there in Ballroom land! I miss you! God, I miss dancing like I'd miss my right arm! But... onward I trudge into the new and exciting! I know what you're thinking.... Well if she's writing she must be dancing...she said she'd come back once she started dancing again! Well... yes I did, but no I'm not... yet.
Oh the stories I have to tell... some of which are over at my other blog This Single Serving Life (the big question is... can she keep two blogs going at once...)

Lets do what I do best here on this blog and lets talk dance!

Since we last visited, I have not actually danced more than once... which at first I was okay with, as of today not so much, I'll tell you why in a second. I started working with this awesome guy on a new event planning and promotion company he's putting together called The Muvmint and he suggested that we put together the most awesome charity gala Chicago has ever seen. (You'll hear about it in a few days...we have to get a few more things set up) and then I started wishing for independent wealth so I could go back to dancing.

Ah ha! But... if you can't find it, create it right? So.... what if this Gala, just happened to be everything I ever wanted in an evening out dancing? What if it just happened to also support a great national charity? What if it just happened that I now get to take my writing, social, and gift of the gab and use it to actually BE my living? If you can't find it create it.... it's what I do with my writing, and what I do with my social circles, why can't it be what I do for a living?

So, The Muvmint - Chicago's newest and freshest event planning and promotion company is setting out to gather all the other Ballroom/Latin Dancers out there... the people that do dance, the people that want to dance, heck the people that just want to come out and have a good time! Then lets mix in friends, family, local businesses, a live band, a four course dinner, silent auction, raffle, and a record breaking partner dance... Then let's donate all auction and raffle proceeds to charity, and a % of our profit too...cuz we're a company with a conscience. Have you ever heard of all that? I haven't either, which is why we're creating it! It's everything I ever wanted in an event, fun, exciting, tasty, and for a good cause... We create what you can't find. :-)

In the process of doing all of this... planning, promoting, writing, falling, eating plan researching, officially ending my relationship with the studio I used to dance at.....whew I'm a busy girl!

I crossed the threshold of a dance studio tonight. A brand new one! Ballroom Center in Libertyville IL owned by Donald Johnson (Go ahead...look him up... dare you!) and Irina Shukhat (not as well known, but she was the first ever professional Latin dancer to ever hold my attention when I began spectating) is the newest ballroom studio to hit the area that I'm aware of... man I do love my ballroom. I almost wanted to kiss the hardwood! (Why is it I can't be independently wealthy again? Oh, right...this is REAL life....gotta work for it!) I was just watching people practice and I was having a good time! I also got to watch some of a group class that Donald was teaching... he had some really great insight about movement. I should have taken notes! He talks fast, and uses a lot of words it seems but he gets results.

I'm also excited that I'm going to dance a little on Friday.... woo hoo! I hope I remember how! Friday is Ballroom Center's open house! I don't even know if I can find my functioning dance shoes! Ack! This kinda feels like the first day back at school...only the school is on another planet!

Considering that I'll be crossing the thresholds of many more studios in the coming days and weeks, I will at least be observing a lot of dancing! If I'm lucky I'll find the funds to join a group class or two and that will really be cool.... I probably won't be back to lessons anywhere for a while, I'm thinking late Spring, but I'm going to start blowing the dust off my skills more and more, and as I have new dancing revelations, events, and news I'll keep you posted!

Ahhhh.... it's good to be home.
(BTW... if you're in Chicago Save January 27th for the Gala ok?)

Until We Dance Again

2011-08-16T03:06:00.001-05:00

I have to rather unceremoniously close this blog. I will leave everything up for anyone to read as I whole heartedly believe in EVERY WORD WRITTEN and know that the stories within still so serve their purpose. It's not that I don't love you, love dance, or anything in between. I just need my life to not be focused on Ballroom 100% of the time. If I wrote about anything other than my dancing and the way I was feeling with it I felt as though I would be betraying the path I had set out with this blog.

I do have a new writing adventure that I hope you all will join me for. This one is, yet another blog, it is my preferred form of expression. THIS blog however is about everything, no topic off limits, no opinion or factoid unshared.

I welcome you to join me for This Single Serving Life

It's not the end my friends, it is simply the evolution to the next step. I am so proud of what I had created with you... I do hope you'll come along for the next great adventures.

Much love, respect and happiness to you all and whatever dance floor you grace.

Miss Kitty

Dancing and Deliberating

2011-04-19T01:39:00.000-05:00

Have you ever sat at your personal computer after work and just went ..... ? That was me last week. Not only did I go ..... but I didn't even get to sit at my computer once I got home from the office. The very thought of turning it on was dreadful. I just needed a break from technology. My job, I am a remote corporate trainer, consists of my sitting at a computer all day, I actually have to work in and plan opportunities to leave my cube, and some weeks it's very intense and busy and mentally makes me hate the technology that allows me to do it. So that's where I was.

In re-cap it wasn't such a bad week. Last Friday I went to the studio party, the highlight of which was Rocky performing a Mambo with HFC. I will tell you that I love the choreography for it, and given that it was a BRAND new routine for both dancers the performance was solid too!

Monday brought on a nice lesson where some goals were set. I have a test to the next level of the syllabus in June, or so I was informed, so Rocky and I have some work to do to get me ready. I'm excited about this goal because it gives us a good solid target to aim for that we both understand. Time to dust off my majors and hurry up and learn the last couple of steps in each dance. Perhaps I'll even change a major. That is to be determined. On a personal side I also plan on being back in my actual ballroom shoes before the test. I've been dancing in my Jazz shoes to help me put confidence back in my ankle. I hope to be back in ballroom shoes at least the week before the test so I can prep appropriately for the actual event.

This of course has me also planning and deliberating for my other goals, the weight loss goal being the most prevalent. I simply can not be the best I can be at my current weight. Since I've moved in I have made sure I have not filled my home with bad food. That trend has maintained itself for the last few weeks. I just have to make sure that I carry that over into what I bring for lunch at work, instead of having food delivered.

The rest of the week built in stress as I tried to meet my work goals to the near exclusion of everything else. Those actions made me seriously consider the whole work/life balance that I try so desperately to hang on to. If I work too much I become bitter, jaded, and infinitely frustrated. If I maintain my personal life it makes me appear to be a slacker in comparison to my co-workers who are very admirably living to work these days. I must find a balance.

Friday I had requested off some weeks ago in order to just have a three day weekend. Work is building and the summer is going to be quite hectic so I just wanted to have a three day weekend to appreciate what I have now that I'm back home and plan for the weeks to come. I decided last minute that I would attend a ballroom comp where Largo was competing with a couple of his students as well. That was just what I needed. This particular ballroom comp is the most prestigious in the area, and one I do enjoy from the venue to the competitors it's superb.

It was so nice to see Largo again, even if just for a few moments. He's still between professional partners at the moment so no competitions for him in that regard, but he has reconnected with some former students that he competes at a very high level pro/am with and that was quite the treat. Only Largo can hit the floor for the first time as an independent instructor and have each student he brings win their events straight out.

The rest of the weekend was quiet and I avoided technology with the best of my abilities as I continued to settle into my home. This week in an effort to push forward, I have two lessons. TWO! One with Rocky to prepare for my test, and one with a visiting instructor that may or may not decide to stay. Both lessons should be quite the challenge for very different reasons.

I will also tell you I have increased my between lesson practice and dancing with some dance based workouts, I'm just getting in the groove, but I'm about to let the reigns go and dive into this full blast. My stamina sucks right now and the only way I know to really get it back is to push... like really PUSH. Get my butt out of bed every morning and haul my butt into some kind of workout that is going to push me to the point of pain.. eventually beyond... and then after a while it won't hurt anymore and then it will be time to change up the game.

Hope you're with me! I'd love to hear what you do to deliberate and plan for your day to day, even more I'd love to hear how you execute it!

Home...

2011-04-06T03:02:00.000-05:00

Hi Kids! I haven't abandoned you! I moved back into my apartment on April 1st! I cannot tell you what it feels like to have a home. I don't think you really know what it's like until you don't have one. It's wonderful! I'm nearly organized, and doing a very good job at maintaining it. The kittens are happy as clams. The drama is ALMOST over! I'll get to that in a second...

First let me tell you about my move... I probably had the most number of people involved of any really small move ever. I had prepared as well as I could on Thursday night for my move, I didn't sleep one wink! I worked all through the night trying to make sure I had my meager belongings collected. At 11am on Friday three very dear friends came over to help with the balance, including two pieces of the hotel furniture I have to purchase because some furbabies left scratch marks on the vinyl, no use getting worked up about it. It took us a tad bit longer to vacate the hotel room than planned, mostly due to my own lack of organization and exhaustion. Instead of hitting my parent's house for the things I had there first, we ended up meeting my Landlord at my apartment. In all the drama all she wanted was the check, and then she was polite about it even! I swear she's bipolar.

All at once my bedroom set arrived from the cleaners (btw if you have fire or flood damage and need a local referral let me know..these guys were amazing), and then my new mattress. Dad and I worked on a different lay out for my bedroom set, I didn't want it to be the same as before... too many memories of passing by my bedroom door seeing my previous cats lounging on my dresser. We came up with an AWESOME alternative! I actually like it much better than it was before! Unfortunately the few things I did have cleaned in addition to my bedroom set, still carry the smell of the fire. So I will not be able to use them. Also, because my bedroom set has unfinished interiors on the drawers, it too has a slight stench. I am saving that though by sealing the wood. The set is beautiful solid oak, in a rustic California country style by Blackhawk Furniture, I've loved it since I picked it out when I was 18.

As soon as the move was finished I asked my friends to join me at a local Mexican restaurant so I could treat them to lunch as a thank you for doing all the real manual labor for me. These helpers definitely deserved more than the customary Pizza and Beer payment for a move. It was raining and they had to put up with a very tired and somewhat indecisive me. :-)

We parted ways at around 4pm, with plans to meet up for one of their b-day parties in the city that evening. I met another friend who was kind enough to donate a full service of 12 dishes, flatware, and glasses at my apartment and gave her the grand tour. Have I mentioned that I know the best people on the planet?? Once she headed on her way all I knew was that I needed a nap, and a nap I took... I don't think I have been that tired ever in my whole life. I had PLANNED to be up around 7:30 or 8 to get ready for this party, instead I woke up to text messages at 10pm asking if I was coming.
OH NO!

I scrambled around, getting myself together, which I have to say takes worlds longer when your stuff is still in boxes. and made it to celebrate at around 11:30. Had another great time with friends, and then made it back to my apartment by 3am. Ahhh but it does feel good to walk in my own place.

The next day I was up and out getting some things I didn't consider needing immediately, like a shower rod, and real vacuum cleaner, I had to be back by a pretty early time to make sure I didn't miss the cable guy, I need my real TV!

In addition to that my whole family came over and helped me unpack, (thanks family!) my mom, forever the professional mommy put homemade food in my fridge and made sure I had the starter pots and pans for when I start my own cooking again, and my dad hooked me up with some starter tools, and ran a home improvement errand for me. Oh, he also vacuumed after putting my vacuum cleaner together ;-).

Once my family left it was off to meet some of the girls to watch NCAA basketball. I'm not a huge fan, in fact I forgot to watch the final, but I can get into a game if it's put in front of me. I was still so tired though! I was home nice and early and got in some TV time with my new TV, I also needed to make a plan for Internet. The cable company raised their fee on the modem they provide, so I just decided to go out and get my own. (That's what took so long for me to post, I had to find the right deal on a modem).

Now that I'm settled in, I'm still a bit unsettled. I can't seem to shake the feeling that it's not over. I mean it's technically over, but I can't seem to accept it. I guess that once you've gone through a turbulent life event it takes more than 4 days to get over it. I suppose that will come with time. The other part is that I have my lease renewal hanging over my head. My lease is up in June and I have heard from 2 completely separate entities that my Landlord has stated I'm going to be out once my lease is up. She has no grounds to evict me, nor does she have any idea what my financial situation is. So I have no idea why she thinks this is so. I have made attempts to contact her to see why it is she seems to believe this and the response I get is that she is responsible for several leases and hasn't had the opportunity to look at mine. Which, given her previous statements to me about my rent increasing because my apt is new, and telling others that I won't be here for long, gives me a very uneasy feeling regarding her levels of honesty. All I want is as it was before, a quiet existence where we don't talk to each other as long as I'm paying my rent. In any case, I'm out there researching my rights as a lease abiding tenant, and in the meantime I have a place to lay my head and get on with life right? I'm doing my best.

Speaking of getting back to life, and more importantly getting back to increasing the dance in my life (I'm also considering foregoing a kitchen table so I have more kitchen practice space) did you know that your Cable's "On Command/Demand" service has some great workouts for FREE?? I found one 10 minute dance based workout that's great for when I wake up too late to get in a full work out that has Salsa, Samba, Cha Cha, and even some Paso Doble elements!

I'll have to investigate that some more!

Well the internet is back up at home so you'll be hearing more from me!!

Dancing....Need More Dancing

2011-03-31T03:23:00.001-05:00

I do... you do too. Music too while we're at it thank you.

Monday was pretty ok as far as days go, I got all my daily goals accomplished and then a few more. So that was good, I was still very tired from the weekend so I had to head to bed early.

Tuesday was all about focusing on having my dance lesson. I made it through work, and got up to the studio as fast as I could! Unfortunately my current favorite jazz shoes had been left behind. My dance shoes usually live in the car so I never forget them no matter where I'm going. These shoes had been brought up from the rest of my weekend attire and never made it back into the car. Thankfully my car also contains several other pairs of other shoes, none are quite perfect, and I thought about putting on my rhythm shoes, but I could feel my ankles starting to swell from the idea so I picked from my current selection of Jazz shoes and made do.

The lesson opened and I warned Rocky about my shoes.

"I forgot my usual pair, so I'm in some back ups.. they're a little slick so I may slide into you at some point.. fair warning."

"It's ok..." He responds and we head over to the music machine so Rocky can pick up some Salsa.

Actually the slick shoes worked in my favor for a bit, and Rocky had tried some different moves from last week. At one point I got the age old "Just follow me." VERY reminiscent of a previous instructor, and just as frustrating. Instead of responding the way I always used to I kept quiet and focused more on following. It was actually really fun! I think at one point towards the end we switched to On2 Mambo, but I'm not sure... it felt that way though. Then we were in frame dancing and I think we both heard the Cha Cha song that was playing. Without skipping much of a beat we switched to Cha Cha. Neat!

It wasn't long before I managed to lose the beat so we stopped for a second to pick up my book. We're still working on the first parts of the syllabus, which has been a great refresher for me. Although I keep wondering if I'm getting all the technical points, sometimes I catch myself and sometimes I let it go. I'm hoping that my practice is helping me improve.

The highlight of the Cha Cha for me anyway, aside from the good following, is that I had a centrifugal force issue during one of my spins. Maybe it's happened to you before... I was lead into a spin, I don't recall if it was single or double and the force of going around actually makes my nose run. So I finish the move hand up to nose (Rocky and I are getting along so far, but I'm not up to dancing with him when there's snot on my face just yet) and I run over to take care of it. Once I returned (and used the antibacterial stuff) we joked about how that happens to a lot of dancers. Man.... a spin pulled snot right out of my nose... I must be getting better again! ;-)

We kept working, and it was good... I'm definitely keeping up more than I was a few weeks ago! Then we started doing a couple of lesser used steps and I followed. Rocky and I both were surprised a little. We worked on it again and I questioned "Are you testing my following?"

"No, testing my leading!" He replied mid cha.

"Oh, ok.. hope it's going well!"

Once we were finished with Cha Cha we glanced at my book, we discussed learning the last couple of steps in the Bronze Syllabus, I should have tested into Silver level several months back, but I still have to learn a few of the steps I'll be tested on. Once that was discussed, we decided to tackle the X some more.

The X is of course Waltz. I have to admit the more we work on it the more I'm not remembering why I ever hated it to begin with. I dare say my attitude about waltz has evolved. We worked on a new to me step mostly. I don't remember what it's called, and as I sit here I can't remember exactly how it goes, but it does have some backward lock steps for me in two directions. I don't recall ever having done this step before so I needed a lot of review, questions, and mistakes.

I hate staying on one step for too long, but I wanted to get this one! I also got very chatty for some reason. I think I was getting anxious and trying to divert attention away from not getting this step. Then I had a question...

"Ok so on the little tandem twirl thing we do here, I don't have to do heel leads for all that right? No, that would be stupid."

Rocky walked himself through the step as a follow, and then I watched when he got to the point where my question was...

"Oh, ok so it's heel, toe, toe..got it." Thanks!

"Yes it's heel toe toe.. I go through all this and she goes 'it's heel toe toe'!" He rolls his eyes.

"Well it is, so now you know if anyone ever asks how to do that again you can tell them it's heel toe toe so there." I respond taking up frame.

Away we went working on this silly sequence again.... I wasn't feeling very graceful. Which leads me to cause more distraction.

"Ok so when I'm doing this I feel like I'm going to step on your feet." Trying to explain why I kept stopping us at one point.

I got a look... I thought the look meant - what do you mean stepping on my feet, that's preposterous! So I rattled through a made up back and forth that I would normally have in my head only I said it all out loud.

"What do you mean step on my feet Kat, I'm a professional dancer this is what I do, it is my job to make sure my feet are out of the way of yours. (as me) Oh really? Ok I'll stop worrying about it then."

Rocky's head was spinning... "Whaaa?"

"Nothing never mind I was having a conversation with myself pretending you were answering, that stuff usually happens in my head, this time I just said it out loud."

"Ok wait, " He shakes his head, "...too fast!"

Sometimes I talk too fast, I am aware of this and I try and not but..esp when I'm just dialoging an inner monologue I don't see what speed matters.

So I repeated the mock conversation I had with myself about not worrying over tripping. We take up dance frame.. Rocky still a little overwhelmed.

"Are you ok?" He quietly asks me, he was serious..oh no!.

"Yep fine, well I'm about this far (finger and thumb pinched close together) from the men in the white jackets coming, but yeah I'm fine." I state with a big smile. "Ok I'll be quiet now."

"Banana." Rocky responds, dead pan.

"HAHAHA!" Is that our new code word for "shut up Kat?" too funny ok come on lets go."

We start again and I trip up...

"Ok so you see what the problem here is, I'm supposed to feel graceful here and I feel like an elephant cold hopping across the floor again." Stated to fast for Rocky.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm supposed to feel all graceful and floaty on the floor and I don't I feel like I'm clumsy and it's just not right."

"Yes well it can feel like that, the goal is to make it LOOK smooth and graceful."

"It's supposed to feel that way? Blech. Ok lets go try it again." So we did..

I got it.

"Ooooo.. ok again." I state as if Rocky has no choice. I like to drill stuff and get it right a few more times before I call it learned.

We did it again and I messed up. *sigh*

We manage to check the clock simultaneously and in unison say "One more time." (I take little things like that as a sign that working with Rocky could continue to be good)

One more time, it was one of the better times through the step.... nice to end on a high note!

High five and some scheduling later I was on my way home.

Unfortunately I didn't stretch after this lesson.. .and boy oh boy was I feelin' it today! Baby steps baby steps... and I must stretch more.

I need more dancing... as soon as I get settled into my home again I'm going to work out a plan for dancing in particular to be part of EVERY DAY.

Regional Comp Weekend, and Preparing for a Move...

2011-03-29T03:46:00.001-05:00

Hi all!
This weekend was very hectic, but mostly fun which is nice. It was one of those weekends where you get to Monday and you think Good Lord, I need a weekend to recover from my weekend! First up was Saturday's Fred Astiare Regional Competition at the Crowne Plaza O'Hare. I was running so late! I didn't arrive until around 11:30am, the Pro/Am portion of the day had begun at 10. (Here's the thing about waking up late, as I get back into working out, that will be much harder to do as I will naturally have more energy!) I immediately found my gang and began the socializing and spectating for the day. I think the reason I love ballroom comps so much is that they remind me of Theatre back in Shakespeare's day (Shakespeare is a personal hero of mine, and an awesome writer). It's a place to see and be seen and cheer for what's being presented on the floor, which is exactly what Theatre was like back in the day.

This competition was much smaller than previous spring regional I had attended, not since I started back in 2006 had I seen a comp as small. I have more than a sneaking suspicion that it's because everyone that usually saves up for one or two competitions every year is waiting for the June Inter-Regional comp which promises to have more than the standard set of competitors we're used to seeing. Somehow competition isn't quite as fun when you're on the floor with everyone you know and have competed against before, or so I have been told by many competitors.

So I saw, and I was seen, and I laughed and joked and cheered my way to the end, with Jem, Savvy, and more. Once the day session ended, a group of friends and I headed over to a local restaurant to have a nice relaxing meal and watch college hoops on the big screen. The team we were rooting for won! It was a nail biter too, I suppose if I went to a college with a sports team I'd be into that full time, but instead I only get involved when it's put in front of me, and I have friends around me that are whole heartily invested.

Once over, the few of us that were going back for the evening show headed back to the hotel with plenty of time to change for the Disco themed evening. Dressing up for these themed events aren't nearly as fun when I don't have the wardrobe I once had to pull from. Every time a theme comes up I mentally sift through the closet I used to have to find what I would have worn. A futile process I assure you. I had worn a T-shirt for the day session that was very 70's themed, but the evenings require more than a t-shirt. So I settled on a sequined tank I had recently picked up, jeans, and a short sleeve cardigan. I touched up my make up and I was ready to go.

The evening event opened with a lot of general dancing, which is great!! It used to be that these events had alot of awards, speakers, hired professional shows, and a smattering of general dances in between. Not this time! This time we were treated to a lot of 70's era music that included a lot of Hustle, Cha Cha and Swing. They even managed to get a few waltz's in there as well. All the pros were decked out in what seemed like a cross between 60's flower child and 70's bad plaid most wearing the traditional Fro wigs. (Some of whom actually really made them work!). I had planted myself amungst Bonnie and Michael for the night, and I was pleased for the company. Shortly after the dancing started, and I decided it might be worth it to change into my jazz shoes, Rocky came by for a pretty fast East Coast swing. About two measures in I realized two things: 1- my shoes were getting way too much traction so I'd have to work harder to execute my steps, and 2- drinking while dancing (I had had beer with dinner and wine since I entered the show) only makes me very heavy in my feet so everything takes that much more of a supreme effort. I MAY just have to consider my competition drinking habits if this continues.

After Rocky, I was asked to dance by one of my Studio's newest pros, he is new to teaching but has a very solid International background. I've danced with him a few times before. The dance he chose me for was Waltz. I heard a very quick American Waltz, he heard a Viennese Waltz so we ended up doing kind of a combo of the two. It was a lot of fun despite the poor floor craft of all those around us. Fill a floor with amateur and that's pretty much what you get. I do find this new pro to be a pretty good lead, and he's very cute in the way he approaches things. I thanked him for the dance and then took my place next to Bonnie for a second.

A few awards were announced and due to the small size of this comp and the rather small turn out from my studio in particular (again, waiting for June!) Fred Astaire Mokena took top prize as did two of their pro's for top teachers. Congratulations Mokena, I know the competitive students and staff at Chicago North thrive on a challenge so let's see who gets top prize next time around!

General dancing resumed and none other than Himself -Jesse DeSoto tapped me on the shoulder for a Hustle. Jesse is one of those pros that can make his follow feel like they can dance with him effortlessly. His brother STP actually can do the same thing, when he wants to, and speaking of it wasn't but a minute after Jesse had lead me to the edge of the dance floor when STP picked me up to catch the very tail end of another song. This was turning into quite the red letter evening for me!

A beat after that and I sought out one of the more shy or reserved would be a better word, students for another Hustle. Not quite sure why he's so reserved, he's actually not a bad lead the couple of times I've danced with him. I figured I was having a good night so it was ok to go around asking for dances. I came back to the table where my stuff was stashed and sat a few dances out, all the while watching the gentleman next to me, who is normally so quiet, come completely out of his shell with the help of some liquid encouragement. That was more funny than anything. His behavior combined with his thematic dress reminded me of Steve Martin in the 70's stand up he used to do..."I'm a wild and cra-zy guy!"

Ah, Steve Martin in the 70's... funniest guy of the decade!

As I was bearing witness to the character next to me another fellow student asked me for a Cha Cha and off we went. Woo hoo! I think this is the most I've danced at a social event in a really long time!

Very shortly after my Cha Cha I took my seat and I saw STP passing by in his regular dance clothes, he was previously dressed ala John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. I stopped him, "You're not all Saturday Night Fever anymore?"

"No, I have to dance..." He replies as if talking to a child.

I immediately remember that not all the correct words came out in my question. Duh.. of course he had to dance he was wearing a Latin shirt... what I meant was "Why are you dressed like that if you have to do the region staff number in a few minutes?" But that of course isn't what came out. So I laughed to myself pretty much hysterically because I have a knack of always sounding like I've had one drink too many with STP something that started because I did say funny stuff to him once when I actually had consumed 2 or 3 drinks too many in 2008.... I'll never live it down. Ah well there are worse things.. at least I'm a happy fake boozer.

The show began with the afore mentioned Regional staff number. The first time the whole region's staff had gotten together to do a number. We actually got to see it twice! About 4 or so measures in, the music just stopped... there was a beat or two of silence and then the staff almost in unison just picked right up where they left off and performed the piece A Capella, which actually worked out really well. Once finished and applause with ovation ensued they began again with music the whole way through. It was very cute and I liked how quickly they recovered! What professionals! KIT and DWH had actually choreographed it.

The rest of the show was nice too, albeit had a very "Talent Show" quality to it. Different couples or studio staff formations took the floor. It was nice for me to see because I usually like to keep an eye on what's going on staff wise in the region, just a little habit I picked up from when I used to visit multiple studios for parties and such. This allowed me to see a good number of the new faces perform and see their style. There are a few new staff members out there that look like they'd be a lot of fun to dance with. Two of the newer male pros in particular just danced like they take really good care of their followers, and danced very well.

The show ended as most do when the region staff performs with the staff at my studio showing off their skills FAF and TSD with a super fast Tango, HFC and STP with a swing, and then the whole Staff put in an ensemble formation with KIT singing, the girl has a powerful set of pipes!

I closed the evening saying goodnight to everyone I could find, and chatted with HFC for a second and then made my exit.

The rest of the weekend was VERY busy. I had a lot of work to do for my personal and professional lives. Professionally we're gearing up for a new product release and personally I am moving back into my apartment on Friday! I can not WAIT to have a home again! What's striking me as amazing though is that it doesn't seem to matter how much or how little one owns... moving is ALWAYS a hassle.

Stepping Outside Myself to Help Others...

2011-03-25T02:28:00.001-05:00

Hi All!

With everything that's been happening personally I feel that I have not payed due attention to the Global Community.

No doubt you all have heard about the Earthquake/Tsunami tragedy in Japan, and now Burma and Thailand.

This is just the latest in a string of man made and natural disasters that are pummeling the globe. In an effort to help those less fortunate than ourselves. I am donating all proceeds made at my online shop Ballroom Is Life to the American Red Cross to help with Global Disaster Relief.

So please, stop by shop a bit, and help those in need in the process! The world needs those that have, to help those that have nothing. I may be in a rough spot, but I'm surrounded and possess untold riches in comparison to those that have just suffered through these events.

Just Like That... It's a Million Times Better!

2011-03-24T00:47:00.001-05:00

Whew... one major hurdle covered! Today I was able to finalize my move in date and ensure that I am in the hotel until my move in date.... so for the time being I can rest easy. Oh goodness do I feel a million times better! I was very tired today though, the not sleeping took it's toll for sure. However I had a lesson to get to tonight, and there was no way I was going to miss it. Dancing has proven time and again in the past to make me feel on top of the world even when I'm at my lowest. So it was imperative that I show up.

Sadly I was running late which puts me on edge, luckily the formation class preparing for this weekend's regional competition was finishing up their rehearsal on the main floor.... whew! Enough time to change shoes and not feel like my pro is waiting for me.

A very tan Rocky waved me over to the floor once it had cleared. He was tan as you'd expect for a dancer competing this coming weekend. There is a regional Fred Astaire competition this coming weekend. There was a hustle playing and other lessons on the floor starting with Hustle, so I figured ok I'll do Hustle...this time. ;-)

Shows me for anticipating, Rocky started a Salsa with a little "ah.. see? I remembered." nod of his head and grin. I responded of course with a big smile!
"So is your week better?" Rocky asks.
"Well if I was in here yesterday (under arm turn) I would have been a crying sniveling mess, (open break) but today is better!" I responded.
I went over the fast forward version of what this week was as we danced a little. Soon the warm up was over and Rocky resisted going to get my book... I wasn't going to fight him this time anyway.

"Ok so remind me of your dances again?" He inquired hand over brow thinking.
"Well it doesn't really matter I want to work on smooth this time." I respond.
"Ok so smooth dances..."
"I don't have any smooth dances as my majors so it doesn't matter, I want to work on smooth."

Rocky paused for a second and went over for my book again...probably to refresh his memory on what I may have learned in the past. I actually helped him look for it this time. Once aquired we set about looking at it... there is a big X over the Waltz section..

I point to it "See, this is wrong now, I think I could like Waltz, and I know it's going to make my ankles stronger... that X is 4 years old! A lot has changed."

"Ok..ok.. so then lets just see..." Rocky goes to take up frame... and off we went.

Holy smokes this kid has an awesome smooth frame and lead! If I didn't actually know how much a really do suck at smooth he almost makes it seem easy! Unreal! We danced around the floor for a bit mainly so he could figure out what I knew and probably to figure out how I follow. There were a few under arm turns and possibly twinkles that made me almost believe I was actually Waltzing! This was just too cool.

We stopped a few times to go over a couple of different sequences, and a few times he would just make a comment like "Oh, sure you don't know this." ... dripping with sarcasm.

"Well I've done it before, I didn't say I hadn't done the step before. I just never spent any real time on it in comparison to Rhythm."

Then there was the Chasse issue. There's a sequence in the syllabus that has a couple of chasse (step together, step together quickly basically). Well he wanted my feet together and I must have been passing so I made the comment that as soon as I get more advanced they'll change it to passing my feet anyway.

WRONG

In fact Rocky found this very amusing. I guess growing up a dancer it's very funny to think that a Chasse would be any different than what it is, at any level of dancing. Well I certainly won't make that mistake again! At least I was getting laughs. I'm fine with being wrong in cases such as these because I didn't grow up being a dancer. So kids.. listen up.. A Chasse.. will ALWAYS be a Chasse!

There was another directional change could be almost like a promenade and every time it's lead I think my lead is checking his watch... well first off Rocky doesn't wear a watch... but I mention it.

"Ok, that feels like you're checking your watch." I said it very calmly... I didn't also realize we were facing the studio clock at the time, and I believe poor Rocky thought I was accusing him of being a clock watcher.

"What?!? I'm not even wearing a watch on this hand!" he retorts.

I immediately realize what I just did and try to make amends "Oh no, no... that's not what I mean I'm just saying that when you do that it feels to me like you're trying to check your watch without breaking frame... I didn't mean to say you were watching the clock!" Whoops.

Well we picked right up where we left off after that little open mouth, insert foot moment. I can't believe how much fun I was having with Waltz! Not only that but I wanted to learn it! We'd work on a step and I'd keep wanting to drill it until

At one point we were rounding the floor and stopped in the corner and we were laughing about some Samba music that was being played.... I was just really happy to be laughing!

"Ok do you want to hear a joke?" Rocky asked, "It's ok if you don't laugh it's not that funny." He chuckles.

"Yeah ok I want to hear it!"

"What's Beethoven's favorite fruit?" He asks through quiet chuckles.
I think, and I know it's going to be lame..but I can't think that I've ever heard that before "I have no idea, what?"
(and I write this knowing it's not going to translate well in just text)

"Ba-na-na-na!"Rocky chants just like the opening of Beethoven's Symphony No. 5.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" It's quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever heard! I couldn't stop laughing! Then Rocky started laughing because I was laughing... Oh I'm so telling that joke to everyone I know!

"Ok so the Chasse step..." Rocky says as we have to focus again...
"Yep ok, great go.."I stopped laughing and focused back on the dance across the floor.. only to tell the lesson that was going on at the other end, KIT and STP were not quite as amused.. I still think it's funny!

A little bit more Waltz and compliments going everywhere! Rocky at one point even liked my rise and fall!!! No one has ever complimented me on my rise and fall!!! I mean it's never been insulted before but Rocky seemed genuinely surprised and/or impressed in some of what it seemed I was capable of! YESSSS!

See the idea of impressing or surprising a seasoned professional dancer is like the greatest accomplishment I could ever do in this, my rebuilding and restarting. I hope to keep it up.

Last ten minutes or so I could sense a shift in the dance we were working on.
"Ok what are we working on now?" I ask.
"Tango. I can't believe you have never worked on it." Rocky states.

"Only for the first Mini Match year before last..." Which then prompted me to explain how I got involved in Mini Match and why I ended up doing it. (You'll have to read the post, if you missed it.. there's video and everything!)

Once the explanation was over "Ok.." I say as I adjust my frame accordingly "How does this go again? And if you spell it I'm gonna smack you." I finish with a giggle... The last time I asked Largo "How does this go?" he spelled it for me T-A-N-G-O... which is a teaching method, but Largo had just spelled it, not like in the rhythm of the dance or anything.

Not realizing this Rocky must have thought I just didn't care for the teaching method.. so he went "Slow, slow, slow, quick, slow." As we started stepping.

Oh yeah.. Tango is on my list of things to learn... for sure. Mostly because this is the first pro I've had to teach it to me with such interest and passion about the dance. I would be a complete and total fool to not take advantage of the pro I have and his strengths. Besides.. I can still learn the tail end of my majors for the Silver test I'm going to have to go through when I'm back in my ballroom shoes... but this is like a 100% new perspective on American Smooth and I'm excited about it!

We worked on improving my promenade (the new way is awesome!) and a couple of new to me Tango steps.. one has an arm behind the back hand change, which we switched to an over the head hand change... it's just too awkward to do the behind the back move while I am still this round, that in itself is enough to keep my butt doing the workouts I don't like so that we can do that move as it's supposed to be.

The lesson ended on Tango.. and I think both Rocky and I were pleased and impressed with the way the lesson went!

Dancing is powerful enough to make my outlook on everything change... I LOVE IT!

Not only that.. but with the exception of a few clunky feeling heel leads... I actually felt graceful tonight! ME! GRACEFUL!!! YAY!

Which leads me to this question for you... my silent readers... if you are a dancer...what is that feeling you strive for on the floor??

Resisting the Cave

2011-03-23T03:26:00.000-05:00

Well I can't say that today was any better than yesterday. In fact in many ways it was unfortunately worse. I'm in near full panic mode... or I was at least for a good portion of the day. I even had a meeting with my manager, where I actually started crying. Yep, me, who tries to not cry at all if I can help it and definately not in public boo hooed in a meeting at my place of work.

It was mid afternoon as I attempted to continue to focus on my work and use it as a distraction from my personal hell, I realized what I was fighting... I have felt like I've been fighting since last week, some invisible foe that I just couldn't beat. Then I figured it out! It's my cave! My cave want's me back and I don't want to have anything to do with it!!

So what is my "cave" you ask? Well you know that unexplained reason I'd stop writing to the blog and then come back all gun-ho and ready to live life again? That was my cave that made me dissapear. I suppose you could call it depression in conventional terms. I prefer the term "cave". My cave has a lovely couch and cable and it's temperature regulated, there are even some stalagmites that support the sofa. :-) I however REFUSE absolutely REFUSE to go back in... I'm resisting, and in some moments it's taking every fiber of my mental strength to do it.

Even my status on Facebook stated that all I wanted to do is crawl under the covers and wait for the world to go away. I'm generally reasonably optimistic on Facebook, even in the darkest of times.

I just can't believe I'm faced with these feelings again, the feeling of being lost, and so out of control. I even called my MOM... I hate to call my parents when I, a full grown adult capable of anything I need to be had to call my mom.

I just didn't know what to do, where to go, what to plan for. Mom assured me that no matter what I always have family. Which did actually make me feel a little better.

I then went about my evening making sure my daily goals were being met... I made the Rumba practice, with some really good feeling Cuban motion, trying diligently to get my hips and knees to work that infinity motion, I think I might have done it right all of twice, and not even consecutively. I'll take it though! I made it through a short cardio work out at the hotel gym. Not long enough but better than nothing, the endorphins are making me feel a little better which I still am reminding myself about starting.

Eating today was pretty much the same as yesterday, not a drop of anything hit my stomach until 2pm, I was too busy, and sad to eat today, which is really really bad, and probably my biggest problem. I don't eat frequently enough which then shuts down my metabolism and just helps me pack on the weight. So I guess I'm going to have to make a goal of eating more frequently... I am fully aware of how strange that sounds AND I know I'm not the only one that eats that way! (That doesn't make it proper, I know.)

I'm feeling better, and as much as I want to crawl into bed and wish the world away, I can't actually sleep... the lights go off and my mind sets to racing. Something has to be done about that, really soon!

Tomorrow is another day, and it's a day with a dance lesson! I bet that will help...

I have a question though... when you get stressed what's your "cave" like?

Small Triumphs, Big Frustrations

2011-03-22T01:16:00.000-05:00

So today was a bit of a mix... Work went reasonably well even though it was wicked busy, in the middle of the busy I found out that even my insurance company thinks my landlord is a piece of work, seriously that's what my rep said "Wow, I thought you were exaggerating about her, she is a piece of work!"

Here's the kicker... The whole reason all of this started? Simply because I wanted to make sure that all the people who had to make the final determination on when I'm moving back were on the same page. I've decided that my landlord is simply not human and thinks of her tenants as nothing more than cattle with big dollar signs on our foreheads. So, truly wonderful neighbors or not, I'm pretty sure I can't possibly work with someone like this. All I want is my home back, and I've dotted every "i" crossed every "t" that's been asked of me and it's still not enough? Maybe owning my own place but being broke is better than renting from a tyrant and having a savings account.

I came back to my hotel after work, got the work out in that I said I would! Made me feel a million times better! Then set to work about getting everything together, because now I once again don't know if I'm moving Friday or next Friday. Which puts a big pressure over my whole life.

In other news... I made more progress in the healthy eating... I ate well.. for the one meal I had a chance to eat... *sigh*

Ah well... tomorrow is another day and I'm going to bed early so that I can tackle the day as it should be tackled.

OH! I added a goal for this week... I must practice one technique element a day for at least 10 minutes straight, I think this will mostly be accomplished through Rumba technique, but it has to be done. It's probably going to be a while before I can get into the studio for more than just my one lesson.

I'll take a day with small triumphs over none at all any day in hindsight.... on to the next day and work on improvements on what I started today.

I Get My Home Back When? Stress Causes me to Prepare Differently for This Coming Week.

2011-03-21T00:42:00.000-05:00

Oh this past week hurt... it hurt a lot. It started out ok though with a pretty decent lesson and then went down hill from there. First the kittens got sick, so I ran them up to the vet... discovered their white blood cell count was high, so they were obviously fighting off something. Left with directions for liquid antibiotics and instructions to monitor their intake and output for the next several days. While working from home and watching their every move, work became rather hectic causing some additional hours to be devoted in that direction.

In the process of cleaning up litter boxes after incidents I dare not describe at 3 in the morning, which was after I'd already been working late and trying to get some kind of rest, I had heard from my landlord that my apt would be ready for April 1st.

I was elated by that news! I called my insurance agency to let them know, so they could extend my hotel reservation to the proper date. I was then told by my insurance company that the restoration company working on my apartment would be finished March 25th. Ok... Also a date I could work with...if I have the proper advanced knowledge. It would be a tight squeeze, but I could get the symphony of tasks that would need to be accomplished that Friday in place a week earlier than originally thought.

I called my Landlord again to let her know what the insurance was saying, Insurance telling me to plan a move for March 25th, Landlord telling me to find a couch to crash on for a week because it's completely up to her when I move in.... oh.. and the rent will be going up when my lease is up in June. (Can we just get me back into my home please first!!!)

This whole moving drama didn't end officially until Saturday when I once again called insurance and said "Ok, you ya'll are telling me that as of right now you can't extend my reservation, but my landlord is telling me it's not up to you when I can move back it's up to her... from my point of view as of this moment I'm looking at a possible 7 days of essential homelessness if there is a gap of time between the restoration company being finished and the landlord's inspections.

With all of this news plus my furbabies being ill, plus work getting a bit hectic... I felt like I was right back at the week of the fire when I had to orchestrate everything as fast as possible to move forward. I usually thrive on a bit of stress, but THAT was ridiculous. I could feel that I was hanging on to sanity by a thread. Which also added the thoughts that this has got to be better, I have other plans in addition to all this... I sat and stared at this blog at 3am on 3 separate occasions, wanting to write but the energy and words just wouldn't make it to my fingertips.

So then this begs the question if I made it to the hotel gym... I did... not every day as I'd hoped due to some kitten (Salsa) letting me chase her around for a half hour each morning for her medication....(I'm not her favorite yet) that unexpected activity ate into my allotted gym time. BUT... I did make it three times for 30min brisk walk on the treadmill with a 5 min warm up. (35 min total).

It wasn't until Saturday that I was able to potentially settle, best as I could, my future living situation. The insurance company has assured me that if the inspections are not finished on my apartment they will not make me move out of the hotel with no place to go, so that was a huge load off my mind. I now have the date to plan.

As I put this past week and weekend to bed, I look forward to a fresh Monday and setting some new goals... I work better with goals, and with being honest about them. So here we go with this week's goals. Try as I might I am not the type that can just fly through life by the seat of my pants... well I can.. but I end up missing a whole lot. Not only that but the forseeable future is going to be a mad house, just as my living situation is set to calm down, the work situation will be steadily ramping up and somewhere in all of that I am fiercely hanging on to my personal life and making that an equal priority with everything else.

Goals for this week...
1- Get enough sleep 4-5 hours every single night isn't going to cut it.
2- Get one 40 min workout (this week including a warm up) in every day, not including the official dance lesson.
3- Make good food choices, I know how to do this and haven't I'm taking it one meal at a time.
4- Begin to build a more concrete schedule so Time Management is easier. My greatest weakness right now is my lack of time management I need to hone those skills.

4 Solid goals to start, it's going to be hour by hour this week. I have to get it together and this is the best way to start. So here's my question for you, dear readers, what goals do you set for yourselves and what do you do/how do you feel when you've met them? What about when you aren't able to meet them?

Anyone want to take the over under on how my week goes? How many of you think I'll actually make all 4 goals? Well you'll see how we go as the week progresses....

Don't forget! Look to the left and see that you can get posts directly into your inbox! Not only that but I want to hear from YOU! Click on the word "comments" below and leave me your thoughts! We can even have a debate if you want! :-)

Lesson Day! Rhythm, Rhythm... and oh Look! More Rhythm!!

2011-03-18T02:21:00.000-05:00

This lesson happened back on Monday, I have had it partially finished since then, but had a couple of major issues pop up this week and so...it's a little late..but here you go! This week's lesson:

I was running a little behind but I still got to the studio in enough time to change my shoes and see a few people. They were all talking about the International Ballroom class Rocky teaches, I guess there was some very interesting technique stuff regarding Tango. I must make it a point to attend this class I think.

I was chatting with some friends when I hear from behind me... "Kat..." I turn and it's Rocky standing there waiting for me.
"Oh! Is it time?" I ask, he nods, I immediately turn to my dance friends "Excuse me I have to go, talk to you later!" and take Rocky by the hand.
"Today, is a Salsa warm up." He states with a small grin.
"Really!? On1 and everything??" I excitedly ask back.
He thinks about it and nods, picked a song and off we went.

Interesting thing about this Salsa... we tried for Mambo a few times too! Personally I think we did pretty well, in fact I can almost feel it in my body when I think of Mambo that I can move On2. I am very excited by this! I'll have to practice some... I know I have some Mambo/Salsa's on my MP3 player. Oooo.. wouldn't it be cool if I could decide which one I wanted to do to any Mambo Salsa song??? That would be a totally awesome trick!

A few short minutes later we were warmed up and Rocky headed over for my dreaded book.
Now I do love my book, it has a lot of HISTORY in it... it's got my day one lesson, notes from past teachers, scores from past tests... I just don't see what it has to do with present day anymore... Rocky notes my distaste for my book and reminds me "It's not for you, it's for me."

Oh right! I forget that while he's been dancing forever he hasn't been dancing the Fred Astaire Syllabus forever... so I will no longer complain when he pulls out my book.

First dance we worked on officially was Cha Cha. Oh boy I can't wait until I can do what I did with that dance again! I'm getting closer I can feel it. We worked on the older steps, the Manhattan Roll -out (a personal fave), the Cupid breaks (other studio's call this one the "Turkish Towel") we'd stop for a second, Rocky would refer to the book... ask me if I knew a step and since I pretty rarely keep the names and numbers straight I'd tell him to lead it.

One step that he started to lead is from a part of the Syllabus that was Implemented long after I started, it involves knee lifts. I never officially learned it, but the one time it was taught to me I protested that it is not a followable step. From the position of the two partners there is no way for the lead to cue a knee lift. Which in a closed dancing lead/follow situation is ridiculous to me. Both of my prior teachers were more interested in the main Bronze portion of the syllabus to really get me involved in these steps, so if they're followable I can probably keep up, but it's not fair to me to pull a step that I can't follow and makes me look like the fool part of the partnership because I don't have the "routine" memorized. I stated as much to Rocky and I'm pretty sure I hit a sore spot. Meh... we moved on to a more followable version of grapevine which is leadable, thank you. Although Rocky sped it up and it wasn't long at all before it was too quick for me.

"You get warm quick huh?" Rocky asked.
I'm not entirely sure how he meant it but I never take comments like that well... I responded with "Yeah I do...it will get better."
When what I wanted to say was "Yeah I do, you would too if you were trying to come back to dancing wearing about 60 extra pounds since you stopped, and still nursing an ankle injury!!!" Glad I kept all that in check though... It's best not to alienate the pro as much as possible.

After that we worked a bit on where Rocky wanted to see passing feet in Cha Cha vs Lock Steps. I do Lock Steps out of habit, and I suppose part of the steps should be passing.. I have trouble executing a Passing step where I actually think it's decent.. it feels way too much like scooting Then Rocky brought up the nemisis again "Well since you don't compete, I guess it's not important, I like the look of lock steps better anyway."

I could have decked him.

"Look I know I don't compete, but I do have to test and, [the judge that tests us] likes me and all but he's going to mark me down if I'm not doing the right thing!"

"Not on that step!" Rocky retorts, it was past the portion of the syllabus I had been tested on already.

"Not the point. I want to learn it if it's the right way." I had calmed down a little bit.

_____Rant Alert____
I really hate that though.. like I'm just there to flit around and say I ballroom dance... at least that's how "Well you don't compete so it doesn't matter." sounds to me. I actually want to be able to dance, if I can't afford to compete I want to look like I do actually compete when people see me dance. I want people to watch my all non dancer looking self me and say you know what... she pretty much burns the floor... and I can't do that if my pro keeps telling me "Well you don't compete so it doesn't matter." IT MATTERS! I wouldn't stay as a non competitive student at one of the most highly skilled and accomplished studios in the area if it didn't matter! I know I have to do the work outside the studio to get it, that I don't take enough lessons to be where I want, it's the lessons that inspire me to be a better dancer and if I'm being told "it doesn't matter because I don't compete" That doesn't make me better.. it makes me pissed.

____Rant Complete____

After Cha Cha was a nice easy going East Coast Swing where we worked on the Chicken Walk move..which at first felt like a switch over to West Coast... I haven't danced West Coast since RT left so that kind of freaked me out. I also can't remember the last time I did the run run run, turn, lockstep, swivel, wiggle walk back to partner step either... AND it seems like that whole section after the follow turns away from the lead had changed too... We tried it a couple of times. It felt ok...but.

"Ok my feet are a mess when you're not looking.. no I don't mean to say if you're not looking I cheat, what I'm saying is in that small space of time my feet are definitely not doing all that they're supposed to." I try to explain.

"Oh, ok..." Rocky chuckles "I will look this time."

He did and then he pointed out what I wasn't doing..which was just about everything.. so that's a personal project.. gotta bring the foot speed back up and learn how to do spiral, locksteps, pivot, in the span of like 4 beats.

There was a bit of a debate on that one too... because I swear the last time it was shown to me it didn't have all that... I suggested I learned it wrong.... I was informed instead that they change or modify steps all the time. (Way to make it sound like my former pro didn't let the details of that step slide). :-)

I really just kind of became combative after the one statement I'll just say I don't like. I do still push myself though... I've always done that. I always want to do a step one more time or ask about a lead something like that... I would hope that it shows my desire to understand the skill and mechanics behind the step which will in turn help me learn it..but who the heck knows.

We finished the lesson with a healthy dose of Rumba... one of these days I'm going to have to bring my hips back into the equation... I'm not walking out of the dance studio sore enough.

I also realized this lesson was all Rhythm... which means I'm going to have to ask for smooth next time around. It was actually a good lesson... I did feel good about the dancing part of it anyway.

I have the rest of the week to stew and practice and process... It's been a really rough week, which I'll tell you about tomorrow.. but I'm still fighting! I'm NOT going back into the cave!!!

Oh! Thank you for your comments too! A couple of you have commented this week on some new and old posts. I appreciate it, I do love to know what you're thinking and welcome the feedback!

I am curious.... without actually identifying your pro, what is the most aggravating thing he/she has ever said to you during a lesson?

Weekend Recap, Am I Living in Fear? NOT Anymore!

2011-03-14T02:30:00.000-05:00

Hi Everyone!
I hope you all had a great weekend! Happy Pre-St. Patrick's Day!
My weekend started on Friday night with a very nice Dance Party at the studio, where I actually got several dances in, most notably two Cha Cha's where my leads took my written words and used them against me by leading me into that Open Cross Over Break, The lead starts with what I think is an open break but no, I am presented with my lead's flat palm which tells me he's going to "push" me into a spin...so I spin...face the opposite direction, once again I'm presented with an open palm to be "pushed" in the other very left like direction and then AGAIN back to right and the move is over. Admittedly the first time, with my first Cha Cha partner the Cha was slow enough that I executed the move in what I would call a passable manner, second time I was not so lucky.

I also got several dances in with Michael of Bonnie's Belle Gowns, he's always such a joy to dance with! He makes sure to snag me for a Salsa and on this night we also did a Rumba! I'm getting a small bit better now too so I'm enjoying every step a lot more than a few weeks ago.

It was a little later when Rocky picked me up for my third Cha Cha of the evening, he started the dance by air boxing a little, and I didn't get the reference (duh).

We had a bit of a back and forth about his reading the blog and actually really liking it. Which makes me feel great! It's much nicer when the characters in my life appreciate that I write about it. NOW I can proceed with lessons and working with my new pro Rocky as it should be. We had an ok Cha Cha better than anticipated by me anyway. Shortly after that I headed out for my friends' and mine Friday tradition, where we go out to unwind after a dance party and chill out before heading home.

There was some very exuberant discussion about working out at this little post party gathering, which made me feel bad about not hitting my workouts as hard this past week. It made me question why I wasn't pushing myself as hard as I know I could/should. In the end a couple of us kind of came up with a plan to kind of encourage each other. So that's promising, I have got to get my butt in gear... I'm so ready...and I'm SO making up excuses to start "tomorrow."

On to Saturday, I was on call for work, which entails being ready to answer calls and e-mails all weekend, now there is no reason why I couldn't bring my blackberry into the hotel gym with me to get at least 30-40 min on the treadmill in, but did I? No. Why? Because I was on call and used that as an excuse to not to.

Jumping to Sunday I did manage to get out of the hotel for a few hours, thankfully it was a slow on call Sunday, but I still didn't work out. I've mentally made all kinds of plans and commitments to my healthy life style though.

I am so there mentally, I am so ready to rock the casba and get back to the greatness that once was. Why can't I just suck it up and do it?? Then while receiving some Soap Box style lecturing from a friend, he really hit on something....

"We promise according to our hopes and perform according to our fears" - De La Rochefoucauld

That's exactly what I've done! EXACTLY what so many of us have done in promising to do better, get better, and live life. So let's turn the tables for a second, I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do... You'll know it as we go on this journey together. What I'm going to do is tell you what I'm afraid of, and what's causing me to "perform according to my fears."

So, huh.. well... I don't spend a lot of time focusing on my fears on a conscious level.... What it seems to come down to am I afraid of succeeding or am I afraid of failing? I'm actually kind of afraid of both. If I succeed in my goals of an honest to God healthy life...what then? Do I really know what it's like to NOT be the fat chick in the room? Not really. However I'm a long way from here to "Not the fat chick in the room." let's be honest. I do have a major fear of the unknown that I have been aware of since this whole fire business for sure. I'm not afraid to be confident anymore that's one thing I definitely take away from starting dance.

On the failure side, what's lurking in those dark corners? Well the idea of being injured again for sure comes to mind, but that's not what really pulled me off the path to begin with, it certainly hurt my return, but what originally got me off the path was unemployment. Not having finances, and being made to feel terrible by some in my life for even attempting to spend what I had on dancing just ruined it for me, and in my case distance does NOT make the heart grow fonder, I more have the out of sight out of mind reaction to things. And... AND.. how much a fool was I for being made to feel bad for trying to do the best thing that ever popped into my life? Pffft... Yeah hindsight is 20/20 and it's not pretty.

So if we distill this even further, I'm afraid of the unknown, and of a repeat performance based on past experiences.

That makes me want to ask...what are you afraid of? Care to share? You can post anonymously by clicking on the word "comments" at the bottom of this post.

Ok... well.. wow.... that's all very overwhelming for me. I think what I have to do is take this one day at a time, tomorrow isn't scary... next week isn't either... Where I could be a month from now? That starts to make me a little nervous. This battle out of the dark place, or the cave as it has so often been referred to, on the public front is going well, now it's time for the private side (which isn't all that private...I'm a blogger)

Head first, blinders on to the fear... I'm going to promise based on my hopes and outperform based on my actual capability. We already know that I'm stronger than I even realize... so now I just have to tap into it. Care to come a long for the ride? It's gonna be a good one.Ups, Downs, Twists, and Turns... some of you even get to actually witness it, and you'll definitely be reading about it.

Last week I hit the gym three times for some paltry at best workouts... this week I'm going to do my very best to get there every day... we could place some bets on that too! How many times are you going to hit the gym and/or the dance floor this week!

The New Kids... Blog Mascots??

2011-03-10T00:49:00.001-06:00

With the passing of Sheri and Wyo back in December, I had written about Second Chance Pet Adoptions and their kindness in helping me provide a home for new kids (read: cats/kittens). I am VERY pleased to announce that I now have three fur ball children to call my very own.

They were Born on December 17th, a mere 4 days after the fire that took Sheri and Wyo, and they are from the same litter.

Instead of the two I had anticipated getting, I have THREE! I couldn't leave just one baby behind!

I present to you, very proudly, Salsa, Tango, and Cha Cha!

L to R Salsa (f), Cha Cha (f), Tango (m)

They are just over 9 weeks old in that picture, that was the first morning they discovered they could jump on the furniture.

Why the names? Funny you ask! I have never had a pet that had a "human" name.... my last pets were named for the city and state I was born in, these pets are named after a dance style that I love. I picked Salsa, because it's my favorite dance and it's cute for a girl, Cha Cha because it was another dance that made a good little girl name, and Tango because I needed a boy's name to go along with the girls AND as a small homage to my employer that runs Petango an adoptable pet search engine. My employer and co-workers were amazing in reacting about the fire.

This blog has never, and will never be about my pets, but since you all have been with me through it all and have supported me through everything I thought I'd at least introduce you.

It won't be long before I'm tripping over them in the kitchen trying to perfect my spiral turns again. :-)

Oh Yeah, This is What A Lesson with Kat is All About!

2011-03-09T01:22:00.003-06:00

Wow! This is a first, and I can't promise this is going to happen every week.. but I just had my lesson tonight and here I am writing about it!

I had a good lesson too! The kind that just makes the world feel like it can be conquered, which is possibly my most favorite feeling that ever was. I headed up to the studio after work not really sure what to expect. I also wanted to try and get some Pączki's it is the one day they're everywhere. Unfortunately I wanted to make sure they were the good kind, grocery store bakery wouldn't do and I didn't plan enough in advance. Next time.

I walked in early as I like to be, getting to the studio early is key for me. I need a few minutes to shrug off the day and prepare to focus on dancing and not waste my lesson because my head is full of the day's residue. Shoes changed I talked to KIT for a little bit, and kind of flitted around testing my shoes on the floor, making sure my legs were going to be up for the challenge. I saw my new pro teaching a couple and they seemed to be having a good lesson. That was nice to see.

Lesson time! As my pro approached he made a face, and I realized... I got the super secret memo! We were both wearing pink shirts!! HA! We warmed up with a little slow hustle, as one of the newer pros came around, and then faded away because it was lesson time. It was really a slow just kind of a "how was your day" kind of a thing. He then went for my book, and I rolled my eyes. He referenced it real quick put it down and asked me if I wrote about our last lesson. (He's very intrigued by this whole blog thing)
"Yes! I did... OH! That reminds me it's been suggested that I actually let you pick your own nickname...so what would you like to be called ?"
He laughs, "You can call me what you want..."
"Well I was thinking of 'Rocky'." I reply

Again he laughed and asked me why, so I told him. He said it would be ok for me to use that. So another blog first, a pro actually gets to weigh in on what his blog nickname is! So my new pro...is Rocky! :-)

Immediately after that exchange we picked up with Cha Cha and he lead me into the ONE move I will never like... Open Cross-Over Breaks I think is what they're called, they're old.. at the top of the syllabus, but I can't spin to the left and feel like I'm in control so I don't like them at all, which I explained last time, and he remembered as he started the move. I finished it, the whole time saying how I didn't like it, I do believe if it's lead it's my job to follow it. Ballroom dancing is a team sport so we have to work as a team to keep the whole thing looking good. As the extreme amature in this new partnership I fail to hold up my end of the bargain a lot but I'll get better.

Still working on Cha Cha we moved to some more advanced Bronze steps that I did ok with, I still think Rocky is being easy on me, I suppose there will come a day when I will long for this kind of treatment. There is one move in particular, no idea what it's called but it's got a really fast spin at the end and I can never seem to get back fast enough, Rocky said it was fine. I'll take that today!

Next up was Swing.. which I agreed to only if it was a slower swing for my ankle and I don't think I'd ever danced East Coast swing with Rocky before. Ah East Coast, my very first ballroom love, you're still a blast, and you can still kick my ass. We worked a lot on the "back to back" move (Fred Astaire students know what I 'm talking about) It's one of my favorites, triple step, back to back triple step, front triple step, swivel swivel, turn out arm extended, spin back in to the left (the only left spin I can manage to pull off) to meet my partner face to face again with a triple step. Well for the first time in my life I was told to NOT extend my arm on the turn out...

This of course caused great debate of why and how and give me a minute to remember and all that. Rocky is right though it does look better that way, and we know how much I hate it when my pro is right if I'm fighting him on something. We worked that move over a few more times with some encouragement from TNT who was watching from the sidelines. Back to the book to review, Rocky asks why I don't work on Tango...
"Well you know, it's smooth and most of my former pros have been shorter than me so that made a proper Tango frame kind of difficult, and since I never liked smooth anyway...."
He left it alone, I didn't get the chance to tell him I'd like to work on Tango if he wants to.

Next up was some Rumba we spent the majority of the rest of the lesson on Rumba, which was good. I think Rumba is the best way to get used to a lead. We also got to chat more during this time and some parts had Rocky saying... "Ok...write about this..." and "Don't write about this..." Well I'll be honest with you my total and complete recall on lessons isn't quite as sharp as it once was. I know I'm not writing about anything he didn't want me to write about. I must remember to explain to him that I don't write to detail every conversation we have... it's more about what we do, how I react to it and how I think he is reacting to me.

There are lots of women in my situation, not exactly confident in their appearance and yet still desperately want to dance and feel comfortable doing it. It is my hope that my my telling my lesson stories it helps these women understand that it's ok to get out there and DO IT... take lessons, work on a move you don't feel so comfortable with, tell your pro why you like or don't like something. LAUGH about it, and then work some more. Some of the fun stuff that happens in the middle is for entertainment value and it helps whatever tension I might be feeling about what's going on in the dancing.

Ok wow... major divergence there, back to Rumba. We laughed a lot in this lesson, I had trouble getting into Rumba character (Don't worry Rocky, we'll get there.. I still need to get used to you and then game on.) I also managed to lead myself in a wayward underarm turn at some point and Rocky asked if he had lead it.

"Nope, but you do follow very well!" I retort.

He laughed a lot, I was so glad he seemed to be having a good time. That's important to me too, that my pro enjoy working with me, it makes me more comfortable learning and getting out of my comfort zone.

We went back to my book to review some steps, and again Rocky remarked "Do you really not work on Tango??"

Well no, and this was possibly the third time he'd mentioned it... so I have a sneaking suspision I'll be working on Tango in the near future. I will admit that I think height wise Rocky is really probably the best suited pro I've ever danced with so this might just be the time to start working on it in earnest.

While at my book I asked if Rocky knew what my favorite dance of all time was... I then pointed to the section labeled Mambo that had a huge "SALSA" written over it by RT over two years ago. This sparked the great Salsa/Mambo debate. Turns out we both don't care for dancing on the 2nd beat, well yet anyway. So I suggested we work on it a little, if I can get going On2 I can pretty much keep it up... Largo taught me that much. Then again if Rocky was ok with just dancing On1 that would suit me just fine too.

Not sure what we're going to do about that one, because I can't live without a Salsa fix every now and again, and we both need to work on this whole Mambo concept. We worked on it for a bit, and we had it..but something went wonky so we ended up on 1 in the end. I do love my Salsa, even if it is really just the Fred Astaire Mambo Syllabus on 1. We'll revisit that whole On2 situation during the next lesson.

We finished this lesson with the traditional "High Five" and then a quick hug after scheduling for the next lesson I, made sure to say "Happy Pączki Day!!"
"Heh, Happy Pączki Day!, oh and Happy Woman's Day!" He replied as he started to head for the back of the studio.
I was way impressed, no one actually ever wished me a happy Woman's Day before! "Hey, Thank you!" I smiled in return and then continued about my business to head home for the night.

It's all or Nothing

2011-03-08T02:35:00.000-06:00

Time moves incredibly fast, and sometimes excruciatingly slow. On the one side I can not believe we are just short of three months since the fire, on the other hand I feel like I've lived in this one bedroom hotel room forever.

I truly live an all or nothing life, when I'm in the game I'm in it all the way no holds barred moving like a steam locomotive that no one can stop. It's been a long time since I lived life on that side of things. I feel like I've left the "all" side of things and firmly planted myself on the "nothing" side. Physically I'm pretty much back at day one of dancing, only I am fully aware of the path I must travel to love life again. Mentally I can feel the shift from being motivated to do NOTHING to being motivated to do EVERYTHING.

This time is different though, I'm not looking to the outside for total motivation, I'm learning to find it inside. All the posts I've written about finding my inspiration I still believe in, but this time I am using my own experiences as an example of my strength. Think about it, in the past two years I have been unemployed, injured twice over, and had every earthly possession taken away by fire. You know what? I'M STILL HERE!

I'm still the same, albeit stronger, more resilient, and excited for the immediate and distant future. I am lucky, blessed, and honored to be surrounded by the people I have found. I can not even imagine having a better sense of family and friendship if I had actually hand picked each of "my people." So now it's time to stop resting on my laurels and letting myself down. I'm finished with "slothing" Sundays all day on the couch and marathon sessions of movies that just make me wish I'd get off my Ass.

I've kept in my life all I need to keep. The dancing - that will never change, in some form I will always be involved in ballroom. The people - Nature had actually weeded out the one's I don't need a long time ago. The arts and creativity- can go dormant from time to time but I'm working on putting it back into my life, one step at a time. Life is way to short and unexpected to dilly dally making decisions about what to and not to do.

I think I was mentally preparing to leap forward back into my healthy lifestyle once I moved into my home. It will signify the end of all this fire business, but I'm ready... I'm ready now. So Now it will be. No more waiting for the timing to be right, I can't, try as I might, script my life (duh).

Time for bed, I have a gym to hit when I wake up... and it's going to hurt.

First Lesson with my New Pro!

2011-03-07T08:57:00.000-06:00

As I get back into the swing of things, I wasn't about to let Largo leaving stop me from moving forward with my getting back on track. Not a chance! I promptly selected my next pro and it was time to get cracking!

A little about him, his favorite Style is International Ballroom (formerly known as Standard), he's European trained and has had a very successful upbringing in ballroom. He's still young so he's got his whole ballroom career in front of him stateside. He also has a wicked sense of humor and I've heard he's a very dedicated instructor from some of my fellow students of dance. Fortunately I have had the opportunity to dance with him at some parties recently and I had an idea of his leading style.

Somehow we found my book, the one that says what steps I've learned and everything... it is WILDLY out of date, it has a big X through Waltz, a line through Foxtrot and probably hasn't been updated in nearly a year and a half, which I mentioned, my pro was clearly unfazed by this.

We opened with a warm up in Hustle, I tried to not warm up with a Hustle but it is kind of built into the Fred Astaire lesson plan that a warm up happens with Hustle. I'll have to work on that for future lessons, I prefer to warm up with Salsa or Mambo or just about anything except Hustle. I appreciate the wanting to get the blood flowing and all that, but I'm kinda over hustle, unless it's at a party or something.

Next we started chatting, we all know I could spend my whole lesson chatting and dancing, only we weren't dancing. I don't even remember what we were talking about, except that I kept asking him what he'd been told about me. I know there was some kind of back story given, despite what he had said. After a bit I noticed we were just standing and talking, so I looked him dead in the eye...

"Can you talk and dance at the same time? I know I can." followed by holding up my arms in frame and a big smile.

So we did some Rumba Basic while we chatted... I asked "You know I don't compete right? I don't have the money for it and I'd rather put what I have towards lessons." He nodded like he understood, and then without missing a beat.
"Ok, How about June?" (June is a big inter-regional Fred Astaire competition).
I didn't respond but Ha! Oh yeah.. I think we'll get along ok.

We worked a lot on Rumba, I think it was mostly because this was the getting to know you lesson, we also did a little Fox Trot, where I learned my new pro preferred Smooth to Rhythm, but was going to be competing in Rhythm with his partner who prefers that style. Now personally I would like to think that if I preferred a particular style I'd get to compete in it, but I guess that's just me. It was nice to hear what his competition plans might be though.

I also mentioned several times that things were different, which I do, I mention things seem different to me so that my instructor knows what kind of learning curve I'm on with the leading and following. Now he tried to apologize and change his leading style or something, which was not what I wanted, and I told him as such. Any pro I've worked with will tell you the first couple of lessons are filled with my stating "Well that's different." I'm more than happy to adapt, it only makes me a better follower anyway.

I also mentioned that I write, which went over pretty well.
"You did hear that I write about my lessons right?" I inquire between Fox Trots.
"No, what do you write?" he retorts.
"About lessons, about stuff I do with dance, a bunch of stuff."
"Oh..." looks at watch "...so how much longer do I have my job?" he jokes.
"Ha, very funny! No, actually most people get a kick out of it..." I then went to describe the number of readers I have and how long I've been doing it.
"Ok, you write, then I will Act." He says, followed by a little gentlemanly bow, which I thought was adorable.
"Go ahead, try...see how long you can keep that up."

During one of the rounds of Foxtrot I noticed I wasn't doing heel leads and I caught myself. So I told my partner... "Ok, if you ever catch me not doing heel leads you have to catch me because I haven't worked on smooth a lot so I'm still working on that."
He looks at me dead in the eye "Well, since you don't compete it's not so important..."
"Oh no, oh no you don't! It doesn't matter, I want to learn how to dance, and if heel leads are the proper way to do this, then that's what I want to learn."
In that one statement about heel leads not being important a seed of doubt was planted. If he's not going to take me seriously then I don't need to work with him. I tried to leave it alone, but it's stuck with me. We'll see... this was only our first lesson together.

The rest of the lesson ended with Waltz to a song he mentioned that he really liked... It also seemed to go ok from my side of things as far as following. We also ended up with a bit of an audience from the work out class that had just disbursed and one of my friends being slack jawed that I was waltzing. I also caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and cringed. UGH.

The lesson ended pretty well, I have another scheduled and I'm working on my plan of attack so that I no longer cringe when I'm in front of the mirror. Life is almost back to normal since the fire so it's time to get back to it.

Anyone have any ideas as to a good nickname for my new pro? I have a couple of ideas but I'm not in love with any of them... tell me your ideas!

First Spectating of 2011... Indiana Challenge!

2011-03-03T01:38:00.000-06:00

Image Courtesy of Indiana Challenge

Well it's about time I got my competition cheer on! I seriously go on Ballroom Competition withdrawal. I suppose it would be the same for anyone who has a particular sporting event that they just love, mine just happens to be Ballroom Dancing.

Last weekend a group of friends and I journeyed down to Merrillville Indiana to catch the professional competition known as Indiana Challenge. I had attended this competition with a few of the same folks last year as well, and I do always like to make a repeat appearance if a comp is good. I like this one because it's not too far, it's smaller compared to some of the others, I know or have seen most of the competitors before, and possibly get a glimpse at what professionals are new to the circuit. As a side bonus I usually get to catch up in person with TNG, who is now teaching out of a studio in that area.

Our merry band of fans headed towards the boarder early enough so that we could eat at the pub in the hotel, last year we ended up with a big group and it was a lot of fun, this time it was a little more subdue but still nice. While puttering around I ran into TNG, seeing him always makes me squeak with glee (I'm really not much of a squeaker in general) I'm just proud to see someone I've known since the day they graced the dance floor doing so well. Before long it was time to find our way towards the ballroom.

STP and HFC from Emerald Star Ball 2010

Heading down I knew that TSD and FAF were going to be competing and I had heard around that STP might be making an appearance but that was by no means confirmed. Sometime between dinner and comp time I ran into STP in the hallway and low and behold....

"Hey [STP]...you're carrying....dance stuff!" I stated with glee!
"Uh..yeah well...you know..." he kind of mumbled.
"Yay! Who are you dancing with?" I inquire as I follow his gaze to.... HFC! "Ah, you must be dancing with this lovely partner right here!" I exclaim as I give HFC a hug hello. (She was very obviously dancing as she had the pretty hair piece already in place).

Yipee! Getting to see STP and HFC hit the floor again! I was so pleased! They had retired last year as an American Rhythm and 9 Dance competitive couple, and I knew seeing this competition tonight did not mean they were coming back, they were there to have a bit of fun and, I later learned, that they missed having fans cheer for them. (Awww).

Nearly immediately after my exchange with STP and HFC, TSD and FAF came on by to say hi before the all went off to prepare. One of the most genuine things that always comes from these professionals is their appreciation of our attendance when they compete, this makes it that much easier to make the effort to come cheer them on. I happily made my way to the ballroom.

I had called in advance to reserve our tickets, unfortunately for whatever reason the seats we got weren't exactly together but they were very close, and that's fine really, the chair is only for sitting in between events I'm interested in anyway. Although I will tell you that in the process of trying to get the seats situated TNG hooked me up and introduced me to one of the competition organizers which was very kind. (This is one of the many reasons why it pays to be out going and do what you can to stay in touch with people you meet along the way.) I was extrordinarily impressed by his reaction to my name, he thought it was very cool. I was happy as a clam just waiting for my preferred events to start. Get me in a room full of ballroom people add competition and hand me a glass of wine, I'm set for the night!

It was pretty clear that on the professional side of things this is somewhat of a "rebuilding" comp. What I mean by that is a LOT of new faces. Especially in American Rhythm! STP and HFC were the first to compete and it was very evident that they were the most polished out there. At one point, I believe it was in the Semi final STP threw out a wild JUMP into the air. I've seen their routines a lot, I don't recall that ever being in there, nor do I recall seeing it re-appear in the final. He caught some good air though.

As predicted, STP and HFC came in FIRST PLACE and won Indiana Challenge Open Rhythm! CONGRATULATIONS! It's always so much fun to cheer for you both!!!

In between heats the professionals would store their stuff near us, check in, let us know how it felt to be out there, tell us funny stories about getting ready to compete and in some cases help us cheer on their counterparts. That's always a lot of fun.

TSD and FAF (from OSB 2010)

Towards the end of the evening, it was time for TSD and FAF to hit the floor. FAF in the beautiful dress she sported at Ohio Star Ball back in November. The American Smooth portion of this evening's competition was a lot stiffer than that of American Rhythm, and I don't know as I could tell you why but it does seem to go that way frequently. These heats did feature some dancers I've seen at many other competitions and it's always good to see some familiar faces out there. If for no other reason than to have a fairly good indicator of how the professionals I'm cheering on are doing.

This event also had a semi-final, making it to the final was a cake walk for TSD and FAF, the final itself was a little harder. There were some new couples I don't recall seeing that were putting up a really good fight! We cheered our best for them and I could tell something was a bit off, I don't know what and I didn't ask...but I can generally tell when any kind of a performance is just not gelling...it's an energy that the performers give off. Had it been the kind of energy I'd felt at Ohio, I'd have claimed them the winners before the start of the Viennese Waltz, but this time I had them placed 2nd.

Turns out I was only kind of right. TSD and FAF were placed 3rd, by Rule 11. Which means they actually tied for 2nd place and Rule 11 then has the scrutineer look at the actual placements each judge has down for the tied couples and whomever has more 1st's (as an example) will get the higher placement overall. (That is a very simplified explanation of Rule 11 as I understand it) Still a very hearty CONGRATULATIONS to TSD and FAF... the year is just beginning and you all have bigger titles to take. :-)

While all this was going on I had several very lovely mini conversations with TNG, and I look very much forward to watching his career continue to progress as well.

With Indiana Challenge over and hugs from the pros thanking us for attending and cheering, we headed back to the Land of Lincoln already making plans for the next competitions to attend.

Breaking Blog Rules.... Meet Largo... Aleks Nashev!

2011-02-22T00:12:00.000-06:00

Aleks' Solo Bolero Intro December 2010

Hi everybody!
So I'm breaking a long standing cardinal rule of this blog... I am mentioning a former instructor by NAME. Nope the sky isn't falling and nothing else is changing. I will continue to call Aleks "Largo" on this blog if I ever need to write about him again. However, Aleks is simply an amazing Ballroom Dancer and I firmly believe everyone on the planet should see him dance. Aleks puts every ounce of his being into his performances and competitions and is purely inspirational to watch and be near.

Here is your chance to keep up with this professional who has graced my life, and so many others, with his presence, if you are on Facebook (and really, who isn't now adays?!) become a fan of ("like") Aleks Nashev.

From this fan page he will be able to let us know where he's competing and what he's up to in the Ballroom world as he continues to take it by storm.

Just a few of his accomplishments so far (and I'm proud to say I've written about a few, and been there to witness some of them):
US (World) Rising Star Champion 2010 American Rhythm
2nd place US (World) Mambo Champion 2010
Bulgarian National Latin Champion
FIRST PLACES for all Competitions 2010 in Rising star American Rhythm
First Place in ALL DANCES Pro Latin at Harvest Moon 2011

So from wherever you are, and wherever you are going to be dancing, do not pass up the chance to see this stellar performer and competitor.

Jeez the more I write, the more I'm gonna miss him!

Take care everybody and Happy Dancing!

The LAST lesson with Largo....

2011-02-21T02:02:00.001-06:00

The Pics, The Good, The Bad, and the "What is she doing?!?"

Yep you read that right.... I had my LAST lesson with Largo on Thursday. He's moving on to become an independent instructor. Part of what's happened since the last time I posted regularly is that TNT is expecting her first baby, a very happy occasion! That however has put a damper on competitive dancing for her and Largo as you can imagine. With the future a bit up in the air for TNT's competitions, Largo has decided that he will move on to teach independently. This way he can travel to more competitions with future students and it allows him a bit more flexibility to find a new professional partner in the Latin style of dancing he so loves.

I'm actually very happy for him! Yes I will miss having him as my pro, but this is the best decision for him. Let's face it, a social dancer like me is extraordinarily lucky to have had the opportunity to learn from such an accomplished pro and excellent teacher.

So our last lesson was actually a blast! We started out having a bit of an audience, Horace was there to see me dance smooth. He apparently didn't believe me when I told him I'd been learning to like and appreciate smooth a whole lot more than I used to. So we did a little Tango...Horace watching, Largo not really understanding why we had an audience, and confused as to why I was shaking through the whole thing. (Tango makes me nervous, the last time I danced it was Mini Match two years ago!). We made it around two sides of the floor and decided to switch to Fox Trot, a much more comfortable dance for me...one time around the floor and I look over to the foyer area, Horace has disappeared!

"Oh... He's gone..." I say as I bring Largo and I to a stop.
"Why did he want to watch?" asks a very inquisitive Largo.
"I'm not really sure, I don't think he believes that I could like smooth...what do you want to work on next?"

We actually ended up with more Fox Trot for a while, which I'm really beginning to enjoy. After a few pointers and a few more times around the floor we switch styles. My lessons are usually a series of rounds as I get back into it... it's all about getting comfortable on the floor again and finding my motivation to jump back in the fight of healthy living.

Next was Swing, this is currently my most difficult dance because of my ankle and my lack of stamina (I'm so out of shape I want to crawl under a rock, but then that wouldn't really help now would it...) But I hang on for as long as my ankle will allow it.
"If it hurts you tell me." Largo states.
"I'm fine... I'm not making faces!" I retort.
I can hide everything in my dancing when I'm in pain except my face... in recent weeks Largo has called me to the carpet about it several times. Our current deal is that I can dance as long as I promise to wear my special compression socks, jazz shoes (absolutely no heels), and don't make any faces where it looks like I'm in pain. So far I'm doing as the pro has ordered and it's working out really well.
Just about two beats after that I place my foot for the next step and my foot cracks, you know... like your foot sometimes does when you're working out, or at least mine sometimes does. I make the big mistake of saying "Ow oh...that's not right".


Forget my hair...his is way cooler and we're almost making the same face!

"What!"
"No, I'm fine, really you didn't hear me say that- it was just my foot...I'm fine." He's gotta believe me!

I got the look... the look of I shouldn't believe you but I'm going to anyway... turns out I was right I WAS actually fine my foot just had to do that for some reason. So we moved on to Rumba. Rumba was a series of conversational steps really. It was more talking about his plans and if he thinks the new pro I'll be picking up is going to be good for me (more on that later). We then took a break because Largo wanted to open the card I got him.

A little about the card... as I was in the card isle looking at my many options for Largo's card, one predominant thought kept going over and over in my head... thank you. So that's what I selected, I got Largo a Thank you card for all the lessons, kindness and partnership and when I wrote in the card I also wished him the best of luck on his new adventure. Well when he read that it was I who started to cry as he placed the card down and we stood up to dance my eyes burning with tears...
"Aww man! You shouldn't have opened the card!" as I'm fighting the urge to just cry...
"Shush.. come on... Rumba" and Rumba we did.... it wasn't but a few steps into it when my urge to cry was gone and I was back in the lesson.

Forget the top half but look at our pants! They're doing the same thing! LOL

There wasn't a whole lot of technique in this lesson, but then last lessons rarely have much of it. It was more about the dance. Elsewhere on the floor one of my dance friends was hamming it up with her pro... this dance friend is a real stand up comic on the dance floor and she's adorable about it too, it's always fun to share the floor with her. During one of the moments she was actually working on a step her pro asked Largo for assistance with teaching one of the ChaCha steps. Largo turns to me and asks "Do you know the wheel?" (at least I think that's what he called it)
"Ha! Like I know if I know at this point... go ahead an lead it." and I go to take up frame.
You'll never believe this... apparently the "Wheel" I remembered in the first seconds of leading is the ONE ChaCha step that's always eluded me, at least it does on the first try. Except this time... this time I got it.. every foot placement, direction change, and lock step I GOT IT!!!

Sadly.... Largo didn't remember my trouble with this step from last year, but I was pretty dang proud of myself and that's what counts.

It was about this time that I notice Largo and I have picked up some studio paparazzi trying to get some candid shots of my lesson for me. Well... I seem to have a very big issue trying to be candid when I KNOW someone is taking pictures... which I tried to laugh off with Largo, but he just moved us to be right in front of the photographer. So we worked a little on Cha Cha and I could hear the snap snap snap of the camera each time the shutter was pushed.... UGH... then it popped into my head to let it go and just dance with my pro. I think a couple of them came out kinda cute and I have them scattered throughout this post.

After Cha Cha we started on our Mambo/Salsa portion of the lesson... now Largo usually has me do Mambo because there is no reason why I shouldn't be able to dance it. I usually stop counting and rely on the lead to make sure I figure out how to move on the 2 beat. After a few measures I engage my brain into the dance...

"Hey! Wait a minute!! We're doing Salsa!"
"Yes, Salsa." Largo responds with a what did you think it was? tone to his voice.
"Alright then!" I exclaim and begin to actually pay attention which does in fact make the dance better. We did some under arm back to back loopy thing that I really enjoyed. I think I'll probably always love Salsa. I was really touched that Largo chose to dance on the 1 with me. It's little things like that.... just make a lesson special.

Last 5 or so minutes, our paparazzi has either left or found another target, and Largo asks me what I want to work on, you'll never believe what came out of my mouth.
"Ummm... what about a little Waltz? I mean my rise and fall is nowhere near what it should be yet, but I think we made progress last time."

What the hell? Even I'm shocked and I'm the one that said it! What is going on?!? I would have NEVER EVER not if you paid me, suggested Waltz before my ankle injury. Largo wasn't nearly as phased, he agreed to work on it with me.

Largo and I... Boy I'm gonna miss you string bean! Thank you for it all!

So we did a little Waltz, wasn't quite as good as the last time we'd done it, but I did learn a new to me step and Largo said I did very well at it... and I asked him if he was shitting me.... (lying to me).... Ok so now, not only do I do Waltz pretty willingly but I get genuine compliments from the pro on it. Rock on!

We ended on a high note... new step learned and more confidence in American Smooth gained... we hugged and then I sat next to Largo on the bench to chit chat for a minute. It was nice. I'm gonna miss that kid... but the plus is that he's staying in the area so he'll be around for competitions when he gets a new partner lined up and if you've ever seen Largo dance you know it's a real treat. He's a force of nature in this Ballroom world, and I was lucky enough to call him my pro.

Dancing with One of the Stars... Jonathan Roberts' Group Class!

2011-02-16T02:19:00.000-06:00


Mr. Jonathan Roberts... mid sentence is always	a good look!

Ok so I didn’t actually dance with Jonathan Roberts, but I did attend his group class tonight at the studio. It’s been a LOOOONG time since I dropped in on one of these dance celebrity classes. I’m highly selective as to what classes I want to attend. I attended this one for a couple of reasons… first is that Jonathan had never been to the studio before, second he’s always been very interesting to me on ABC’s Dancing With the Stars, and finally… let’s face it.. I could use all the help I can afford to get right now.

Back when I was more seasoned I would have totally balked at ANOTHER group class full of American Rumba Box, but I’m smarter than that now that I’m trying to regain my old skill level. Rumba Box is the basis for ALL rhythm dances. Which I still love and I can feel my passion re-awakening. So here’s the low down in that only Kat can describe way….

I’d known for a long time that Jonathan Roberts and his wife Anna Trebunskaya were going to be in the studio for coaching’s and group classes. You may know them from many of the seasons they’ve been on DWTS (Dancing with the Stars). I only decided to sign up for Jonathan’s group class yesterday as long as there was still space, and I lucked out that there was. I walked into the studio chatted it up with some dance friends, checked out the ballroom gowns that were visiting from one of the top industry designers (most of them wouldn’t fit around my arm… but they’re pretty to look at). Then I saw Anna, and then Jonathan…whew… let me tell you… they’re pretty on TV… but they are absolutely gorgeous in person!!

Ok...ok… so yummy eye candy to go with the class… that’s completely secondary to gleaning dance knowledge…let’s focus for a minute on Jonathan’s dance pedigree since he is the instructor du jour: Jonathan began dancing when he was 20, someone that picks up dancing late in life like that we usually teasingly call a 6 week wonder. Not too dissimilar from the studio’s own Jesse DeSoto who started around the same age and then moved on to conquer the ballroom world. Jonathan was a top amateur before he moved on to turn pro and eventually dance with Anna. Together they placed really high in tons of comps all over the world, they placed 6^th in the US and 24^th in the world. (That’s HUGE!) Then they retired as a couple and decided to find separate partners. Jonathan moved on to become World Professional American Smooth Champion in 2008. Some of this even happened AS he was working on Dancing with the Stars! So you can understand a bit why I wanted to see what Jonathan’s teaching style is like. I mean come on… I may be a career amateur social dancer but I don’t take lessons from just ANYBODY! (Dance Pedigree info obtained from here.)

Me in My Spot! (I'm in the purple t-shirt)

I had just run into a friend that I hadn’t seen in for EVER so I was a minute or two late to class…gasp! As I walked in to take up my usual position in the second ballroom (that really felt like being at home) I hear “Ok so you guys have to be really good, because this is going to determine how I’m going to teach class.” From Jonathan… I made a comment as I crossed the floor that I was going to head out now while I still had the chance! I had no idea what he was asking of us… I figured Rumba, but I wanted to wait for the song to come on to be sure. Music up and it’s one of those that could be a ChaCha but can be a quick Rumba. So I was momentarily confused… but picked up pretty quick that it was Rumba, wow... how long it had been since I stared down the pic of the Rat Pack in my little corner of the ballroom!! Ahhhh... home….

After some pointers on the Rumba box there was a simple routine put together with open breaks, swivels and a couple of pivot turns. I was again reminded how far I’d fallen, but I tried just the same.

At one point as we were getting the routine down Jesse DeSoto (Studio owner, and former cast member DWTS season 3, oh and ranked #2 in the world in Mambo during his career ß for new readers who don’t know ;-)) came up to me (from my position he has to walk by to get to his office) quietly put his hand on my shoulder and whispered “It’s good to see you got your spot back.” YEAH BABY… it is MY spot… we should tape it off and put my initials all over it.

Back to the class… We focused on swivels and at one point KIT (the gal that Keeps It Together) was running around taking pictures, and I get very nervous when I know there are candid shots being taken… like I’m trying to be candid and it’s not working or something… and I couldn’t swivel during the time when we were working with partners, and I mentioned to the gal I was partnering with “She’s back there taking pictures isn’t she….” In that grrrr kind of way. She must have thought I was really new or something… clearly not familiar with what my statement meant.

“Oh well that’s ok, your pretty hair color, you’ll look fine in them.” grin

I almost wanted to stop class laughing, she doesn’t know… that’s ok…she’ll learn ;-) I kept quiet and went back to trying to find my swivel. Although I have to say that when things like that happen it just makes me want IT more.

Back to the little routine we were working on, where I was really just trying to find my balance again. I seriously feel like I have to go to every instructor I’ve never worked with and say “Look, I used to be good, I’ve had a bit of a rough time with injury and then there was a fire...and anyway…I’m trying to come back...and I’m re-learning.. I’ll be good again I promise.” I didn’t of course, if I were having an individual coaching then sure, but not in a group class. Jonathan added arm movements and ways to focus on different body parts… hip, knee, shoulder, arm… I really enjoyed that part, esp. since I really desperately need to make my dancing look less utilitarian. Also…get this… the knee part, we lowered into our knees and then used our hips to accentuate the position…and wow. That actually felt really sexy. Yeah that’s right I said it... in my purple t-shirt and gray sweat pants… that movement felt a little sexy. We reviewed the routine with all added movements… I sucked at it… no seriously... I’m not being hard on myself… I really sucked… but I actually learned a lot. I’m one of those students that needs to process and then execute… so I have some good stuff to think about, and I will, and it will be part of what makes me better.

Last five minutes of class we worked on a basic Waltz, and I shocked myself by really looking forward to the info. I also totally forgot about heel leads… well give a girl a break, in my 4plus years of being involved in Ballroom I’ve only spent a scattered smattering of lessons and social dances on it. We did some steps like open fan steps, footwork only to start, and once I remembered the heel leads it felt pretty good…although due to ankle strength my rise and fall isn’t where it should be, but it felt good, so for me we know, that’s another jump in the right direction. So all in all good class! I can officially add Jonathan Roberts to my list of instructors I’ll suggest others learn from, and look forward to seeing him and Anna stop by the studio again.

I wanted to introduce myself to him before I left, but I was struck with an uncharacteristic bout of shyness. I mean who was I to him? A girl among many in one of a million group classes he’ll teach. Next time I’ll get some face time. Thanks Jonathan!

(Photographs courtesy of Savvy who was in the studio getting an awesome Tango and Rumba routine respectively)

No More Hanging On....

2011-02-14T02:17:00.001-06:00

“Change is the only constant. Hanging on is the only sin.” - Denise McCluggage

So let’s review… since mid December there is just about no aspect of my life that hasn’t changed. Even the few things that have seemingly stayed the same are different. I still have the same awesome friends and family… but I’m somehow closer to them all. My co-workers are the same.. but they all proved that they are really awesome people too.. and have even made me lower some of those boundaries between work/personal life. (Some, all wouldn’t be healthy) 

The changes keep coming, sometimes I feel like I’m standing amidst hurricane winds and if I don’t keep any eye on every little thing it will all just blow away. Then I realized… It’s ME that has to change. I’ve managed to maintain a very positive healthy attitude about the changes… but that’s not enough. There’s some serious fundamental evolutionary change that has to go on here. Change is constant, sure not quite as drastic as some of the changing that’s been going on over here..but it’s normal… and there’s no use in trying to desperately hang on to things that for one reason or another just need to change, evolve, or leave. Just treasure the experience, the time, the emotion, and roll with the punches.

Wow, I even surprise myself with that tidbit of wisdom. It’s nothing short of true. As the quote above says…. “Change is the only constant. Hanging on is the only sin.” No, not sin in the pray every night before you go to bed kind of “Sin” there are more meanings to that word than you realize. Hanging on is the only thing that’s going to hurt you in the end is all that means.

On a more fun note of change…It’s not all doom, gloom and scary..some of it is pretty damn awesome! Get this ya’ll… Largo and I have had a few lessons and he’s insisted that we work on American Smooth Waltz and Foxtrot… yeah that’s right.. this girl is getting her Smooth grove on! Mainly because I have to build up my ankle strength and this is the way to do it and still get my dancing in. You’ll never believe that I had the most amazing breakthrough with it. I’m looking forward to more Smooth lessons. *GAK!* Did I really just type that?!?! Long time readers know how loyal I am to my American Rhythm and Salsa… and that hasn’t changed, but I think until my ankles are a little better Smooth is the way to go… and perhaps I’ll try to see what International is all about??

I used to say “This too shall Pass.. and That which doesn’t kill me only serves to make me stronger”

I’ve officially dropped the “This too shall pass” bit… of course it will! If you don’t like something change it, if you can’t change it..change your approach to it…

I’ve got some inherent, possibly genetic laziness to change too which is possibly my biggest challenge ahead… but if I can do THAT? I’ll be completely, totally, and utterly, unstoppable! (That’s kind of exciting!)

Happy Dancing!

Kat

PS Happy Valentine's Day too! XO ;-)

FIRE Brings Life to a Screeching Hault... Update

2010-12-29T00:56:00.000-06:00

Hi Everyone!

I hope you are all having a lovely Holiday Season... can you believe it's about to be 2011!?!

I just wanted to provide a quick update on everything that's been going on with my new "Post Fire" existence.

I seem to be okay. Really... I've finally mentally put Sheri and Wyo (my cats) to rest in my mind. I no longer cry at the sight of them, even though I often see pictures of them every day and remind myself they won't be in my hotel room when I get there. I do miss them, but I understand fully that it is better that they didn't survive opposed to surviving and being maimed in some horrible way.

The love I have felt from everyone in my world has been nothing short of overwhelming. I continually am reminded of the wonderful people I have managed to surround myself with and I am so thankful and blessed that they are there!

I do seem to be exhibiting some Post Traumatic Stress of some kind. Where I never used to be so scatter brained as to leave my residence without my car keys, or forget to do what I set out to do moments after the decision was made... I seem to be doing that a lot lately. I also don't really have a concept of days of the week as of late either, although for that I suppose I can blame on the odd Holiday weeks.

I will tell you that I am also really surprised with how much I don't miss my "stuff" I lost EVERYTHING save my oak bedroom furniture which is out being specially cleaned. I don't have my clothes, photo albums, jewelry, coats, shoes, or any of the other trappings of normal American society. You know what? I'm actually kind of excited about it!

Being that I am virtually at peace with the tragedy of my cats... I am allowing myself the opportunity to look forward. How often does one get the opportunity for a "Do Over"? I have one! I don't want to squander it! I am being very cautious while in my temporary housing to only buy what I absolutely need. I have enough clothes to get by for just over a week, I have my toiletries and basic food needs taken care of, and a couple pairs of shoes for running around the hotel I'm now residing in.

I did make two purchases... I have a more substantial winter coat because the ski jacket I was wearing on the day of the fire is NOT warm enough for these bitter cold days, and I have a good pair of gym shoes being shipped so I can take advantage of the cardio facility here in the hotel. (I made sure two sets of workout gear were purchased a few weeks ago).

I hope to go with a "less is more" type philosophy with my home when I move back in. I want fewer things, but higher quality than before. I hope I can accomplish that on the insurance money that will be coming my way.

I also have some rather exciting news! I have been in contact with the Animal Welfare organization named Second Chance that I had adopted Sheri and Wyo from 5 years ago. They have a litter of three kittens that were born the week of the fire, and that will make them old enough to come home with me when I move back in. (Yes if they are all healthy and of good temperament I'll take all three!) Even more exciting than that is that in talking with this organization, they were so moved by my story and so generous of spirit that they told me they would waive all adoption fees for whichever kittens I choose to take home! This is only the latest in the amazing that is now my life.

I will absolutely be making a donation to them at the time I adopt, but if you too would like to honor their generosity please feel free to donate to them via their Donations Page. They have many ways to donate, from money to toys and blankets.

Thank you all for your support! I can't begin to tell you how loved I feel. I know I had written before about how I always seem to land on my feet.... I really seem to have this time around!

I'm not gonna lie though... I'm only on my second week in this hotel apartment and I already just want to be home... I am also SO READY for 2010 to be outta here! Between ankle and fire... It has NOT been my year!

This too shall pass, and that which doesn't kill me only serves to make me stronger.

Happy New Year!

Kat

FIRE Brings life to a screeching hault.

2010-12-15T14:58:00.005-06:00

Sunday Night 12-19-2010 Update on my Progress:

Well it's been a long week... but I have to tell you that I have felt SO LOVED this week. The love from my friends, co-workers, employer, and family has been so great that it nearly completely over shadows my loss. Don't get me wrong, I will probably always mourn a little for the passing of my Kitties (commonly referred to as "The Kids.") but I no longer feel at all bad about having to start over with my "stuff."

I have been back to my Apartment several times this week, to show people, have my oak bedroom set pulled out for cleaning, etc. Each time I look around and for the most part don't care about the "stuff" although I did find my High School Diploma, decided to keep that, and I found the baby blanket my parents brought me home in, decided to try and wash that. Also will probably keep a sketch book I had when I was 7 or 8 years old that is a tad water damaged, but I always wanted to keep it for the Someday when I have my own kids. I also had a mental flash to Sheri running towards me to say "hi"... it was an image that stuck with me for the whole day and made me sob when I got some time alone.

My parents came home tonight, safely, and had a wonderful trip, and they actually took the news very well all things considered. I'm so pleased because I was probably stressing more about telling them what happened than just about anything else all week.

I go back to my apartment tomorrow to watch all my old earthly belongings be tossed into the dumpster and I will look forward to the future.

Thank you to my employer and co-workers for your generous support, I look forward to returning to work on Tuesday.

Thank you to my Ballroom friends for being there and being generous beyond words.

Thank you to my neighbors for being my most awesome neighbors the past 6 years and for checking in with me daily this week... we'll be neighbors again soon!

Thank you to all my parent's friends and my readers for your kind words and offers of support while I rebuild.

It's not over yet, but the biggest part is past... and we dust off and move forward.

THANK YOU!

Hi Dear Readers-

I had intended to write after Ohio, I had intended to do a lot of things... but what I'm doing now is telling you about something a lot of you have been asking about.

On Monday December 13th I left for work at 9:42am I arrived at work, ran back out to my car with a co-worker to get a beverage I didn't want to freeze... I was back at my desk and preparing for my next meeting or shift on HelpDesk when I got the following call from my neighbor:

Neighbor: "Kat please pick up, you have to get home... please pick up."

Kat: "I'm here I'm here...what am going on??"

Neighbor: "You have to come home right now your apartment is on fire."

Kat: "Ok... um...did someone call 911??"

Neighbor: "911 is here...just come home."

Kat: "Ok... I'll be there"

I didn't really wait for my manager to say anything... one of my co-workers asked if everything is ok... I said no my apartment is on fire... she asked if it was the building or mine... I said mine and ran out the door as my Manager said something about everything being covered.

On my way to my car I called my neighbor back and said "You tell them about the cats... please please tell them about my cats!"

On my way home (I live about 15 min from the office) I also called my sister and told her that I may need her help later...

I arrived to my street... and there were emergency personnel everywhere! I had to park about half a block away.

I walked up to the first police car I saw

"Excuse me I live in that building... (I couldn't see my apartment just yet)"

"You should talk to the officer down there... I'm not sure which apartment it is"

I was getting scared

"Ok... thank you" and I made my way to my building...

As my apartment came into view... my worst fear realized.... my front door was wide open, my blinds looked all melted and twisted... and firemen were all over the place...

I saw a fireman...

"That's my apartment... did you find the cats? If it's not too bad in there I can tell you where they are hiding!!! Please tell me you found the cats!"

"Ok come with me, you have to talk to animal control about the cats...I don't know... but come here... careful of the ice (the water from the hoses had already frozen... it was only 10F outside)."

The fireman held my arm as we walked... I didn't fight him on it... but I felt plenty strong... I told him I live here I know how dangerous the ice gets.

I was introduced to the officer as I noticed a lot of my neighbors standing just staring up at the back of my apartment... I saw some things burnt to a crisp in my courtyard... undoubtedly from my apartment.

The officer and I went into the laundry room of the building next to mine, while the firefighter went to find Animal Control. I told the officer my morning activities and then the Animal Control officer came in to the room. She was a very kind looking woman.

"Hi.... I'm sorry to tell you, they didn't make it..." she said in a very kind voice.

"OH NO!!!!" I howled... It must have been the worst sound I'd ever made in my life I immediately started crying and said something about my babies...the Animal Control officer tried to tell me they didn't suffer...She asked me where my vet was.. I told her through tears... she said she would take care of the transport for me... we hugged.... I then had to find my Neighbor mom immediately... I left the room and there my Neighbor mom was with a big hug... another neighbor also there with a big hug... and I was then pulled into my Neighbor mom's apartment to warm up and relax a little.

My sister called, she had left work and asked me where I was...my sister was on site.... by this time most of the emergency vehicles had left and things were starting to quiet down a little. I was moving into "what now mode" I wanted to know what I needed to do... I decided that I would call my insurance agency State Farm and begin to file the report.

After talking to several people, and things dying down I was then allowed into my apartment to grab what necessities I needed... My sister and I went in with garbage bags we found in a laundry room and I grabbed what I thought was important... my "clean clothes" from the hamper I knew was clean... not even thinking that the smoke damage was too great to save them... my laptop..That was far away from the epicenter of the kitchen...I asked the fire investigator if it would be worth grabbing... he said it might be ok... again... I wasn't thinking of the stink and black soot that covered it.

I then spent some time in the kitchen with a fire investigator... who pointed out that it appeared to be in the wall of the kitchen where everything happened... they asked me what I kept in my kitchen drawers...what I had plugged in... When was the last time I made coffee... they noted that all the knobs on my stove were in the off position... I had spent most of this past weekend out of my apartment at a ballroom event and taking care of my mom and Sister's dogs.... I hadn't used anything cooking wise since Friday....

Below are pictures I took as I went in one last time to grab my phone chargers from my bedroom... my two little phone chargers... which I have cleaned with a disposable wipe... have stunk up my parents large master bedroom. (I'm staying in my parent's room as they are on vacation until Sunday... if you know them DO NOT TELL THEM.. my sister and I will tell them when we pick them up from the airport on Sunday... we will NOT.. I repeat NOT ruin the vacation they are on.

I went to my parent's house with my sister... we decided to shower and have a late lunch... I had a minor melt down... I couldn't shower... I didn't have anything to change into... I didn't have any shampoo, no hairbrush... no underwear... nothing... I did manage to find an OLD robe I used to wear in High School... I wore that after my shower until the only clothes I had were done washing... we then decided to immediately go to get me Toiletries and a few outfits so I could at least have something.

The belongings in my world can now be contained in 5 small plastic bags...like the kind you get at the grocery store... that is a very trippy feeling.

I will randomly think of something about my Kitties that I will miss and start crying.... I will then stop... and everything will appear fine... that is my way of coping.

If you pray...please pray for my kitties Sheri and Wyo so that they may continue to rest in peace... I miss my furry angels.

I have received an outpouring of support... to the level you would not imagine... for which I am VERY thankful... Everyone is offering to help. I have come up with a few ways for you to help if you would like... and I thank you very much in advance...

If you would like to send a gift card to a store like Target, Wal-mart, Trader Joe's, Albertson's (Jewel), Safeway (Dominick's) for food and other sundries please e-mail me at Stagekat@gmail.com so that I can provide you with contact information/address. If you would like to help me rebuild my wardrobe I shop at Lane Bryant and Avenue.

If you would like to donate to an animal shelter in your area in the names of Sheridan and Wyoming you can go to Petango.com if you live in North America, find a shelter by zip code and contact them.

I have to go to my apartment with the cleaners just now to asses if anything is salvageable... I will post pics after that.

Rest in Peace Wyoming 7/1/2005-12/13/2010

Rest in Peace Sheridan 7/1/2005-12/13/2010

Thank you all for your support!!!

The Epicenter My stove was under the lights witch and there used to be countertop and drawers in that corner

My stove, all knobs in the "off" position.

Kitchen items tossed out to the courtyard below.

Bedroom, the stove would be about 2ft behind me normally...Wyo was on the bed.

The living room, if you look ALL the way on the left you'll see the spot on my desk where my laptop used to be. The cleaner said the smoke damage on a scale of 1-10 is a solid 7 Most of my stuff is toast.