Bambi's BlogAssSphere

DAILY NEWS -- February 7th, 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 16:40:00 +0000

DATELINE: MAKING POPCORN, WATCHING THE SHOW – Isn’t that what everyone is doing? My set is tuned to Syrian TV, and they have this really vivid, gripping horror movie on about the people there, being persecuted, being shot as they walk out their doors, being tortured because, well, who the fuck needs a reason to torture in a movie, right?

For almost a year this has been going on, in a large part fueled by a big old oil-burning engine that gave Al-Assad more power and money than he ever could have dreamed possible. For a year, the people in that country have lived with terrible daily atrocities, while the rest of us sit and watch, chewing our cud, and wondering what oil prices will do tomorrow because of it. Man, do we have a fucked-up set of priorities.

It is a long-held tenet that the global world does not get involved in ‘civil’ wars. There is a reason for that, an understandable one. I have no doubt that no one really would have appreciated the French picking sides in the American civil war, although, come on, we all know that no one stays neutral. Canada never participated in Vietnam, declared the war to be unjust, yet was more than happy to rake in the coin from the sales of munitions, equipment and other supplies, hypocrites that we are.

War is one hell of a funny thing – and not in the ha-ha sense. A long time ago, it was okay, in fact, it was expected that armies fight to conquer territory for their kings, legitimately crowned or otherwise. Their intent was to ‘civilize’ heathens. There was a lot of death in that civilization process, making it one of the most moronic oxymorons of all time. Then came a time when it wasn’t so cool to move your armies onto someone else’s turf. The bar had been raised, the table set; that shit didn’t happen anymore. The other change, though, was that countries had started to elect their leaders, the people playing a part in the game now as well. When the people spoke, government listened – not just their own, but governments of other countries as well, respecting the will of the people who lived in that country to choose their own path, and all was good.

But then came along a man who wooed his people (as disgusting as the word ‘woo’ might be where he was concerned) and got elected by the people of his country, promising economic fortune, telling them what was wrong with their world, who to blame for it, and what to fear. Once in power, the rules changed though. He built armies, he conquered lands that no longer belonged to him. He then went further, pushing the limits, declaring war on a whole continent that he wanted to call his own. At that point, the rest of the world (well, almost… those tricky Yanks said it was none of their business and had no intention of getting involved) said ‘enough’ and we had our second great war, another war to end all wars.

That’s the thing though, isn’t it? It sort of did, at least by the standards of conquering other lands. Kim Il-Sung and Ho Chi Minh both tried, and thankfully, although no one likes to talk about it, they were stopped. It wasn’t just their thrust for power that was stopped though; it was like a final confirmation that it was not okay to invade and conquer another land… and that was as it should be. Therein lies the conundrum, I guess, because if someone goes in to help, that word ‘invade’ is quickly tossed into the air. The soldiers and marines who went into Vietnam were accused of being involved in something they had no right to be involved in, but that’s not true. They were there to help a people who did not have the means to help themselves, and that is NEVER wrong. In both Vietnam and Korea, the people they were helping were people who had the cards stacked against them, with Russian or Chinese forces backing the original invaders.

So now, we sit back, watch Russia and China make a mockery of the international process created by the United Nations. Did anyone really think for one fucking minute that they would have done anything different? Seriously? Russia, under Putin, is one scary-assed place with a war-mongering power-craving megalomaniac at the helm. We are told that it’s a ‘civil’ matter in Syria – none of our concern.
Let me ask you this though. Suppose it was OUR country who had the power-craving megalomaniac calling the shots (insert hysterical laugher here, cause, well, we do have that) and he changed the rules of the game for all of us. Say it was us who were starving, being shot in our streets by our own government, being forced to live destitute, accept torture and brutality on a daily basis. Say it was us who were unable to set foot outside our doors, unable to get food for ourselves… say it was us who were finding our babies bodies mutilated, decaying, wrapped in plastic and dropped on our doorsteps weeks after they had gone missing and been tortured. Would we not be wanting… praying for someone to come and help us? Is that not what being human, a member of the human race, about?

Had Hitler not gone beyond taking back that which was lost in the Treaty of Versailles, if he had been content with just ‘reclaiming’ land and people, but still went on his binge of cleansing society of all Jews, people of color, people of different nationality, people with handicaps, would that have been okay? Would the world just sit and watch? Would we accept that it was his right, in his country, to kill whoever he wanted? I hope not because what a sad fucking excuse for humans we would be. Let me ask one other question – had Germany been blessed with huge reserves of oil, would we have capitulated and let Hitler run amok? Is a barrel of oil really worth a human life in a fair barter system?

The bar has been set, raised on the lives of incredibly generous men and women who stood up to say ‘that’s not right’. This has nothing to do with any religion or custom, but it has everything to do with greed – ours and theirs. We want the oil. We claim it is better to take oil that is paid for by the lives of little children shot dead in the street, than to take oil that comes from sand pits, and somehow justify that it’s okay. No, I am not making a pitch for Canadian oil and how it is processed. I am saying we have alternatives though, and we should put more effort into finding cleaner ways of extracting what we have, and of using what we have responsibly, but it would still be better than what is happening in Syria. Despots have risen to unprecedented authority because of the money handed to them, by us, for a product we are using in excess to pollute the earth. You want to sit there and tell me we don’t have some responsibility to claim for the terrible abuse the people of Syria are facing today? You are fucking right we do, and we have an obligation, as global community of humans, to help them.

DAILY NEWS: January 31st, 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 21:12:00 +0000

DATELINE: SPEAKING OF VOMIT – As if the GOP, with its endless, nauseating bullshit debates and ads, has not gotten bad enough, if Romney’s arrogant, indifferent attitude towards the millions he makes, or Gingrinch’s misogynistic spewing and Fanny May ass-covering weren’t enough, enter The Rev. O’Neal Dozier. This self-proclaimed ‘prayer warrior who faithfully spends time in his own prayer closet’ is the posterboy for why the hell church and state HAVE to be separated. Have you listened to the ravings of this total fucking idiot? The fact that he endorses that baby-faced fascist Santorum is bad enough, but now, well, he is presenting to the world some incredible insight into the likes, dislikes and digestive issues of none other than, well, God.

Yes, Dozier says ‘God loves homosexuals. He hates the act of homosexuality’. What the fuck? God tells him this? He says that ‘homosexuality makes God want to vomit’. What? Has he held the holy barf bucket for Him?

For this, he is now Santorum’s Honorary Campaign Chairman. Yes, he is the fascist’s mouthpiece. How the fuck can anyone take this shit seriously? We laugh when an Iranian Imam preaches to his people that it is women’s promiscuity that causes earthquakes and other natural disasters, and we laugh. How the fuck are the rantings of this asshole reverend any different? They rail about Islamic extremists and the huge security risk, safety risk they are. How are radical Christian extremists any fucking different?

He also has a lot to say about Mormons – who he claims still claim the black man’s skin is a curse. Yes, there was a time when a black man could not be ordained into the Mormon priesthood, but that was lifted (though not repudiated) in 1978. Lemme ask you this; have you gone into a bar in the southern US and tried to sit and have a beer with a black person? I know that Reverend Dozier is black – more is the shame that he is so fucking intolerant of everyone else. How many of those Bible-thumping ultra right-wing evangelicals don’t actively voice their opinion that blacks still belong in the back of the bus? Far to fucking many, is the answer, so where the hell do they get off pointing a finger at a decades-gone church edict? How is what the Mormon church said, way back when, about blacks any fucking different than the woman-hating edicts of the Catholic pope regarding who can have what role in a church, that they STILL hold dearly to their hearts and pronounce every day as a God-written law?

What annoys me the absolute most though, is that ANYONE feels they have the fucking right to tell me what God thinks. How can they know? How the fuck can Reverend Dozier sit in front of a television camera and state with absolute surety what God wants, likes or dislikes? Does he have tea with the Maker every morning? No, he bases his OPINIONS on what he reads in the Bible. That’s fine, and his right. We all have opinions, and I have no problem voicing mine or letting others voice theirs, unless they are so absolutely fucking stupid, like just about every word that comes out of Dozier’s mouth, but he screams that he knows what God thinks.

Here is a little tip for you, Idiot. The Bible, while a wonderful, and at times enlightening, story is nothing more than the writings of men who had their own god damned agenda to promote, and so over the years it gets edited and interpreted to suit the needs of the interpreter. It was not written in English, so right from the get-go there is much lost, and much augmented in the first translation.

The one thing that is in every book attributed to God in his every form and name, is that we are to treat others as we wish to be treated. Why the fuck is that one the ONLY one that seems to get lost in all of this bullshit? Amid the contractions, the turn the other cheek unless you are taking an eye for an eye crap, the unconditional love unless I have to strike you down fear-mongering bullshit meant to keep the writer’s minions in line, why is the one basic tenet of the entire book always lost.
Any government leader who claims to have insight into God’s mind, or who claims to have a conduit to that same place, deserves the same consideration as the nut-bar on the fucking corner who gets messages from the dead beyond through the smell of his dog’s farts. They certainly don’t belong anywhere near a fucking election, let alone being an advisor to someone running for the fucking White House and the post powerful position in the land. You are talking about the GOP party here, not the GOD party, for shit sake. These fucking nimnos serve no useful public purpose other than to make me spray potable beverages through my nose while watching how Jon Stewart deals with it on late-night television. It’s pathetic but these two idiots make Gingrinch and Romney seem almost reasonable. How fucking sad. God help the United States of America.

DAILY NEWS -- January 26th, 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 00:08:00 +0000

DATELINE: IN THE LAND OF WHAT THE FUCK!! – Nine years, $214 Million… there is no one in the fucking world who is worth that and I don’t give a damned how well they can swing a bat. His fucking nuts could be made of platinum and he could crap gold bricks, but he still would not be worth that. No one is, and certainly not for playing a fucking game.

Today, though, the Detroit Tigers said that Prince Fielder is worth this to stand on the first bag and swing his bat. He doesn’t wear a uniform and stand a post to defend his country. He doesn’t parachute into enemy territory and have to live off his wits and adrenalin for days, or rescue people caught and held by Somali pirates. He does not spend 14 hours standing at an operating table trying to rebuild a fireman’s melted, peeling flesh. He doesn’t run into burning buildings to rescue people who may otherwise have only three minutes left to live. He doesn’t even make fucking decisions about the smooth flow of a fucking hamburger patty as it goes from freezer to fucking cash register. HE PLAYS A FUCKING GAME. He hits a ball with a fucking stick. Cavemen were doing that too, except even they were worth more because they had to gather the balls of sabertooth cat shit from the bushes and gnaw down a fucking tree with their teeth to make the bats.

So how does this completely obscene money pay out to poor widow pwincy? He will get $23MILLION for each year one and two, $24MILLION each of the remaining years of his contract. Too bad there won’t be any fucking fans able to afford a fucking ticket by that time, without being able to auction off a god damned kidney first. He will be paid an additional $500,000 if he manages to become the MVP for the American League, and for each MVP title he wins after that, he gets another cool million for a bonus. In case you have forgotten, let me remind you – HE PLAYS A FUCKING GAME. That’s it. He can’t even balance fucking Frisbees on his nose.

He doesn’t help rebuild Haiti – but he could do that and foot the bill comfortably all by himself. He doesn’t think about how many little babies in Africa might be fed with that sort of money, because if the MBA was to put their money pissed away to PAY PEOPLE TO PLAY A GAME into something a bit more… significant, this world would be one hell of a better place.

“But Bambi! What about Al Pujols? He makes more.” Yes, he does, and that is even a sadder truth, isn’t it? The same applies to the Yankee’s arrogant AssRod (yeah, we KNOW he was worth that kind of money, don’t we?), Ryan Howard and Cliff Lee.
So with all that huge obscene fucking money, guys, where were these geniuses when it came time for the World Series last year? Did all that money really get you any further ahead? It should be twice the shame for the Phillies.

I keep asking myself when the hell are these leagues going to grab some fucking brains and become realistic about this shit. The salaries alone could clear the national fucking debt. Then I realize that perhaps it’s not the league who bears the blame, or the teams even. It’s the fans. It’s the fans who, despite not having money to make a mortgage payment will still hang on to that fucking season’s pass for the year. It’s also the fans who could put a stop to this. Think about it… these guys are getting made in one hour more than most of us will see in a fucking year, and yet we celebrate it and subsidize it? What the fuck is wrong with us? We work hard for our money and we don’t get paid millions of dollars every year. We need some perspective. THEY ARE PLAYING A GAME, for fuck sake.

VIEW FROM THE DRIVER'S SEAT

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 14:46:00 +0000

DATELINE: IN THE BLEACHERS AT PENN STATE – After false reports of his death last night and denials this morning that he was still alive, it has been announced, and confirmed, that Joe Paterno has died. Sadly, some hope that the issue regarding his friend and colleague Jerry Sandusky will die with him. For that to happen would be an even greater injustice to the many victims who suffered at Sandusky's hand.

As I read reaction to his death, it is truly revolting to hear the praise stacked on this man, for the sake of a game. The fact that he was an active enabler seems to be irrelevant. I wonder if it would be so unimportant if it had been your child who had been sexually assaulted in the Penn State locker rooms. Let me state, first and foremost, that I understand the grief of losing a parent. Been there, done that; but it’s a pain that unites the vast majority of us, one thing in life that, regardless of class or position, we share. As hard as it is, the death of a parent, though,is a natural process; the way it is supposed to be, as opposed to a parent experiencing the death of their child.

I know it’s natural to not want to speak ill of the dead,that in death people become bigger than they were in life, but come on. To wish that his legacy is based on his successes on the playing field as opposed to that little blip at the end of his life, that little secret that we would all rather be shoved under the carpet so we can praise and adulate before the great coach of a fucking game, is stomach-churning. At what point does it sink in that he spent his life playing a game, and when does it ever become even remotely possible to consider a game to be more important than protecting the lives of innocent,vulnerable children.

Joe Paterno, more than anyone else in this whole Sandusky clusterfuck, was the one person who could have… and should have… made a difference. He could have set the standard in moral and ethicals in spite of the immediate fallour. He could have proven that the right thing to do is always preferable, and that the hit that comes from doing it would be short-lived, nothing more than farts from the lips of idiots, but he chose not to. He KNEW what was happening, yet he chose to not do a damned thing about it. I wonder if he would have been so ineffective if it had been his child in the shower being taught how to soap and lather? JoPa claimed that he did report it to campus authorities, but he wasn’t sure what to do. He wasn’t sure? Holy crap. He delivered this lame-ass explanation, but wasn’t pressed on it – more’s the shame for the interviewer. He didn’t know what to do… because he didn’t want his assistant coach who helped win games to be in trouble, and he didn’t want his precious fucking football team or the university to be held accountable and perhaps have to get a different assistant coach, which could have cost them a game or two. Holy fuck! Well then, of COURSE it’s okay to keep your mouth shut about vulnerable children being horribly, irreparably abused right there under your nose. What were we thinking? Where are our priorities? We were talking about losing some games here! That could never be allowed to happen.

Sarcasm aside, what absolutely enrages me about this whole thing is that here was a man who was in a perfect place to make a difference… a real difference, a significant difference, in LIVES, not in a fucking game. He dedicated his life to working with young men, preparing them, undoubtedly giving them some life lessons, some counseling, some guidance to navigate the waters that lie ahead, and that’s all good. But he absolutely destroys that good by turning a blind eye to kids who were not his problem, but were being abused by someone he knew, in heinous ways, right on the worksite. He COULD have stood up. Imagine the lessons he could have taught, the example he could have set for others. Imagine the difference Joe Paterno could have made if he had stood up and fought for children desperately needed someone to fight for them. He reported it to the campus then didn’t know what else he could do? What? Was he prepped for questioning by some catholic bishop?

Joe Paterno is dead, his family rightly grieves for the loss of their loved one, and my sympathy goes out to them. Too bad so few have no sympathy for the children who are abused. It's too bad no one considered stopping it before more children were hurt, no one stood up, like a man, and did what needed to be done. A game was more important than the lives of innocent children in the hands of a monster. Shame on you, Joe Paterno. The one person who could have made a difference, and you took the selfish coward’s way out. Your family’s pain will be real. I won’t pretend though; there will be no crocodile tears from me. Those are reserved for the true victims. They’ve been slapped in the face enough times over this; I won’t participate in further abuse against them by idolizing this man, not even in death.Joe Paterno's legacy SHOULD be about that which he chose not to do; God knows, that's what it will be for Sandusky's victims and their families.

DAILY NEWS -- January 17th, 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 18:43:00 +0000

DATELINE: TAKING THE PLUNGE INTO THE LOGIC POOL – I’m Canadian, and what do all Canadians talk about ALL the time? Why, oil pipelines, of course! We are in the midst of two broohaahaas, one regarding the Keystone Pipeline to the Gulf Coast, and one regarding the Gateway Pipeline, running to the Queen Charlotte Islands along BC’s Pacific Ocean coast. The routes for both are problematic, but in our usual inimitable manner, we humbly strong-arm and threaten the people whose land these pipelines will cross over. Aren’t we fucking special?

Here are some of the simple truths that no one has the god damned balls to say. Yes, we need fossil fuels. Even if, tomorrow, we come up with the perfect solution, the magical alternate fuel to run our vehicles and engines, we STILL need oil. We still need it to fuel our homes, and up here, there aren’t a lot of other options. We use it globally to make plastics and nylon, wrinkle-free fabrics, aspirin, cd’s, shoes, dyes… every room in every home will have items in there that are the result of oil extraction. Yes, some could be made from organic sources, but even the process of processing the organic sources requires oil, especially on the scale that services the population. Current means of producing ethanol uses more oil than it saves, and how many fields of corn would be required to keep our vehicles on the road just in this country? So, Yes, we need fossil fuels. Oh, and that whole 'clean coal' shit? yes, its shit. Coal is coal, it is dirty to mine, it is dirty to use, but its a necessary evil as well, but call it what it fucking is. There is no 'clean coal'. That's like saying there is sugar-dipped shit and expecting we will all chow down.

Is there room to compromise? Hell yes, and that is exactly what is needed. Yes, measures need to be taken to protect the environment, but why does everything have to be so fucking extreme now? The Republicans and the Democrats, the Environmentalists and the Oil Companies, do NOT have the ability, the desire or the guts to compromise on ANYTHING. It’s ‘my way or the highway’ in all regards, and that is what will kill us all.

So, we want to stop the pipeline because it is a hazard. God damned right they are a hazard. So is every big tanker truck on a railroad, being dragged down the highway by truckers who are dead on their feet because they can’t slow down for even one fucking minute because of the spiraling costs they face in this fucked-up economy, and in those crap boats that will haul it across the oceans. What about the carbon footprint created by those trucks, those boats and those railway trains? There is one hell of a lot of oil to move, and a long way to move it, and these guys chugging along, farting black every inch of the way seems a bit… counterproductive to the cause.

Politicians and oil companies, what about you? *sigh* Yes, I lumped you together. Why not? One is in the pocket of the other, so what the fuck. Let’s just call it like it is. What’s with this crap about threatening people so they get off their land and give you access? What sort of fucking bullshit is that? What gives you the right to not give fair dollar and work in good faith on this? Is it just because, when you start to work in oil, you become a colossal dickhead? You are so greased up, your head lives up your ass? Get a fucking life! The path you chose for the Keystone is asinine, and you know and you knew it even before you started going in there like fucking schoolyard bullies. The people down there have a right to be pissed. Is it really so hard to do something ethically? Really?

So, here is where the logic kicks in… for some of us maybe. It makes sense to move the oil by pipeline, but ONLY if the pipeline is incredibly well maintained. It will be cheaper, over time, to not have trucks hauling it, so yes, the pipeline makes sense. It also is reasonable to say that there is no way to get a pipeline across a fucking continent, or across a continental divide, without disrupting very sensitive environmental areas. The pipeline should not ever cross migratory paths without some compensation being made to the species… bridges, pathways, something to allow them to do what the good lord intended them to do in order to survive. It should not go over aquifers that would destroy water tables for thousands of people and animals, and it should be on land that is fairly purchased by the oil company, with deals that don’t consistently fuck the real land owners. I realize that one is a reach, but it is possible, if the fucking politicians would hold these assholes to task.

But in order for this to work, why not do it to everyone’s advantage. The land owners make a fair dollar for their land. The oil company gets their pipeline… and the environmentalists? Yes, they too can win, and not just by having fewer trucks and trains out there moving this shit. They need to hold the politicians accountable as well, setting up a program that allows for joint programs (government/private) to consistently patrol, protect and nurture the land around the pipeline. It could, conceivably, become the cleanest, safest, most naturally abundant area in the world with some cooperation and compromise. It would help the economy by creating jobs that could not be farmed out to foreign slave workers, and could be done in conjunction with efforts to refining more sources of fuels that are with not run out and will be less harmful to everyone. It will also, perhaps, lessen the need to frack. Sorry, but that process is just fucking wrong and it has way more potential to do way more fucking damage to everyone than anything else the damned oil companies can come up with.

So there you go – a win/win/win/win, but it requires cooperation and acceptance of some truths, which probably means it won’t ever happen. Although, for someone looking to get re-elected, it might be a handy thought, President Obama?

DATELINE: IN THE CRAPPER, FLUSHING IT DOWN

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 16:30:00 +0000

So, it’s come to this: comedian Stephen Colbert coyly almost announcing his candidacy for the GOP South Carolina primary. What a sad fucking day – but not for the reasons you think.

How did this almost soon-to-be maybe announcement come about? Because five percent of people in South Carolina who were asked about their choices in the primary indicated to pollsters they would vote for Stephen Colbert – so why shouldn’t he throw his hat into the ring. Anyone else would. The sad part of this is that it shows, without doubt, the mockery that the political system has become. It shows the frustration of the electorate, and it shows (no offense, Stephen) that any ass is a welcome part of that system. It shows that too many people don’t take some very serious situations seriously at all.

Yes, Colbert and Stewart have brought attention to the stupidity of the system and the people who are part of it. They have, in essence,proven the hypothesis that politicians take care of themselves first, last and always. Their experiment has removed any doubt that the system now is so corrupt it is virtually impossible to take it seriously. That whole PAC crap about advertising money and the candidate having nothing to do with it? Oh please, there is NO ONE who doesn’t know that Gingrinch and Romney have everything to do with them… because that is the way governments now work. They don’t worry about morals or ethics anymore, especially when it comes to getting a chance to sit behind that fucking fancy desk in the Oval Office. These guys would even eat their young, for fuck sake, if it meant one more vote in a swing state.

‘But Bambi, you’re a Canadian. Why do you give a shit anyways?’ Good question. There are several reasons. The first is that whatever the most powerful country in the world does, it has an impact on every other country, and the closer you are to the US, the more it affects you. The second is that, we are really really close neighbors, and when your asshole leader lets his ego gets in the way, and the bombs start falling, we are right in the middle of the firing range, much to close for comfort. The third is that,whether right or wrong, we are sort of like the US’s adoring little brother,looking up to him, following his lead, emulating what he does… and I do NOT want Canada to be like that ever (although already, as kids are wont to do as they age, we are quickly catching up and becoming more and more like you every day). The fourth reason is because we have to watch all of your political bullshit and ads every time we turn on our fucking sets, and you know, you guys are in Perpetual Election Mode down there now. The minute the votes are counted, you are off and running again, making sure that you win the next one four years later. You are so fucking busy running for election that you have no time or interest in actually running the country.

The even sadder part of this is that you have an incredible system offered to you by some incredibly smart people, who were not looking to line their pockets and have unmitigated power and authority over the whole land. Those people were more concerned about freedom, equality, creating a land where EVERYONE had a chance to live their dreams (not just the top 1%). Once that plan was in place, a plan that the rest of the world looked at in awe and wondered if they should ever dare to dream of some plan for their own countries that offered the same great gifts, it became time to fight for it, and fight they did. They all put their lives on the line, and men and women have been proudly doing the same ever since. They never looked for a fucking loophole to garner them more favor and give them one more vote over the other guy; they were too busy crouching in fox holes under barrages of artillery fire, and watching, horrified, while their buddies had their arms, legs, heads blown off.

I hear people saying there is no point in voting, what difference does it make? They are all corrupt, they lie to get into office. I am not arguing any of that. What I am arguing is that apathy is the most powerful weapon in these candidates arsenal. By not voting, we allow them to do what they want. By not voting, we say it’s okay to do what they are doing. Yes, the system needs change, and it needs it right now, but the system is not going to change it, and the politicians are not going to change it. The people are the ones to do that. You don’t have to don a uniform, pick up a gun and crouch in a fox hole while shitting your pants in fear; but you do have to stand up and be counted, and really, that’s not a lot to ask, is it? You want to see changes, hold these assholes accountable. There isn’t a candidate that wholly appeals to you? Then find one, and ask them to run. There are a lot of smart,honest, principled, hard-working people out there – so find one. If you have to ‘settle’ on a candidate, then when he is elected, hold him to account, write letters, and make a stand. If you are asked to make a political contribution, say no because you don’t like the tactics. You don’t want someone to buy their way into the White House, then don’t give them money – which means don’t give the money to those companies who do support them. If you know that someone is sponsoring a crooked candidate, contact them and say you won’t purchase their crap anymore. Tired of the mudslinging bullshit ads? Phone the television stations and say ‘Enough! I am changing the channel because this is bullshit.’ If the 40% of the population who does not vote did these things, did something more than bitch from their armchair, the system would change. It would be held to account, and it would be because you stood up. Until then, I guess we sit back and watch more people make a mockery of a system that is already sadly, dangerously not more than a daily joke.

So, Colbert MIGHT run. I am not going out on a limb to say that his ideas could not be any more dumbass than the ones being floated by the 'traditional' candidates, his past could not be more smarmy than theirs, he could never be even close to them on the hypocrisy chart, so maybe this is a blessing. Maybe he is meant to be 'the chosen one', Anderson Cooper and his Ridiculist be damned! If Colbert manages to sweep the Carolinas and goes on to take Washington, though, it’s to be hoped that Jon Stewart could be his vice president, and become the first VPOTUS to have his face on paper money. If I had dollar bills with Jon Stewart’s face on them, I would save those puppies, glue them up on the bedroom ceiling, and have a couple in my hip pocket just to take out and lick throughout the day, then lovingly slide them back where they belong. It would create a whole new, much more palatable economic crisis.

DAILY NEWS - JANUARY 10th, 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 19:59:00 +0000

DATELINE: OBSERVING THE CORONATION OF TURD ISLAND’S KING SHIT -- Finally, the damned GOP primaries have started – not a fucking moment too soon, because I was really starting to get sick of the gazillion debates so far. I’m excited. I’m a bit of a politics junkie, and, well, there is no nice way to say this, but the US has become the ultimate crack/speed/LSD fix – always extreme, always ugly, with a surreal quality of constant ‘what the fuck, man!’ that continually offers a follow-up hit with more pizzazz and less time in between, exactly what a junkie longs for. Their new prayer is Thank God for the United States of America and its never-ending election cycle. That said, I do not envy the Republicans their job of gleaning the wheat from the chaff in this weed-infested crop of crooks, hate-mongers and idiots.

I have grown tired of the hypocrisy of Romney and Gingrinch – holy crap, those two have written the damned book on hypocrisy in the extreme! I have given thanks (and even lit a candle) that Palin and Trump decided not to run – yet – and that Bachmann and Cain pulled out, because that was just way too much stoopid to even consider a possibility. That Santorum is still in there astounds me: to my dear friends on the warm side of the border, there are no coincidences – there is a reason that the man’s name is synonymous with frothy semen-filled shit. That ain’t no accident, and is something you really don’t want to be looking at every night for the next 8 years while eating dinner and watching the flatscreen. The man is fucking insane, and will seriously take your human rights back to a point where Kim Jong Il and Stalin would look moderate.

Of the many concerns I have with Ron Paul, the top one is that I can’t look at him without hearing Mr. Magoo’s voice. I can’t imagine the most powerful country in the world being led by a cartoon character. The thought of Mr Magoo strolling into the United Nations building with a passionate plea to call the world to arms, to unite against some heinous mutual threat, would have people laughing their asses off. Sorry, but he may as well talk like Alvin the Chipmunk as well, because as far as credibility goes, anyone who had good cartoon taste as a kid is not gonna take him seriously… and that could be more the danger.

Rick Perry, apart from having terminal Foot-in-Mouth Disease and needing Ed The Talking Horse on stage with him to help him count to three, proudly uses as his big boast the fact that he loves to kill people (just slightly better than Romney stating that he likes to fire people). Yes, thanks to the valiant efforts of Rick Perry, the US is essentially tied for third place at the International Government Executions Olympics in 2011 -- just a handful of lives behind North Korea and Yemen, but miles ahead of the next competitor. With Perry at the helm, you can well expect, with great pride, to give second place Iran, or even the front-runner, China, a run for their money. Does it not bother anyone that there is NO developed country in the world even competing in this event?

Here are the things that make me scream at the set though. How can this incredible collection of excrement stand there and scream about the evils of class warfare while bragging about being a product of it with every other sentence? How can they logically think there is one magic ticket to curing the economic woes of a country? For fuck sake, dropping taxes to the ‘job creators’ is the biggest load of cow crap I have ever heard. It’s the ‘job creators’ taking their jobs overseas, to where they get essentially slave labor at the hands of impoverished, desperate people (and a resultant crap product) that contributed to the problem, as well as Gingrinch’s Freddy Mac and Fanny Mae shit – and sorry, you can paint that outhouse with any color paint you want, but it’s still gonna be nothing more than a hole full of shit, Newt. Historical consultant? My ass! The largest corporations out there right now are sitting on billions, praying for that tax cut, not so they can hire more people on this continent, but so they can line their own fucking pockets and fuck the people over again – while passing handfuls of money under the table to the politicians who are pushing this fucking agenda. Why is this so hard for you dopes to see? There is a desperate need for tax reform, and that does not mean to keep taxing the middle class and lining the pockets of the likes of Gingrinch and Romney, but giving it some mile-long bullshit new name. You wanna talk about fucking class warfare, you better start looking in a mirror, then watchin your ass, because someone is gonna put on their Robin Hood costume and you two dolts are surely gonna be mistaken for that lousy, crooked, evil, heartless Sheriff of Nothingham.

Plus what is this crap about wanting less government, but then saying the government should federally regulate who sleeps with who, who can use birth control, and what church is acceptable? You might be wanting to lead the most powerful nation in the world, but that is not quite the same as being God. A leader with a god complex is… well… Kim Jung Il or Stalin. You want to control religion and ethnicity? Well, Hitler also managed to do that – for a while, but I guess anything is on the table when world domination, your pocketbook and a place in history is on the line. Fucking with this shit in politics is incredibly dangerous, and incredibly stupid, but I guess if the republican party is so narrow-minded and asinine to put someone like this in a position of leadership, they can reap what they sow. That a country the size and scope of the United States of America can only come up with this list of lame-brains to offer as their best and brightest is the saddest fucking thing I have ever seen.

That said, I will go out on a limb and make a prediction. Based solely on the very scientific process of pulling a name out of my ass (the same principle apparently employed by these candidates when discussing just about any issue), I will predict it will come down to sadly, Romney and Huntsman, with a Trump card being played in the end run. Why? Because everyone else on the playing field has had their one major pass, that one chance to take it across the goal line in a hail of glorious cheers, and they have dropped the ball. Bachmann, Paul, Perry, Cain, Gingrinch (twice), and now Santorum all did a meteoric rise to the top of the heap, only to open their mouths with a bit more press coverage and say that thing that made the people go ‘Holy Hell, What Were We Thinking!’. There is a reason for the huge undecided vote among republicans, and that is because the choices they are being offered are about the same as offering them a choice of death by disembowelment or being tied to an anthill and covered with honey to allow the critters to eat them alive. Huntsman has not had that chance to rise to the top yet. He’s a late bloomer, and he will start his holy ascension now, late enough in the game to put him near the top in the end, which leaves the evangelical right with the unbelievable choice of picking from a table with only two dishes – neither one being fish, but both of them belonging to that radical upstart cult of Mormonism. How sad that a candidate’s religion is even a topic of discussion, but if there is one thing it’s easy to scare people about, to bring out the worst in them, its religion.

But what about the Trump card, you ask? Well, I suspect that SOME people, when his choice isn’t going to make it across the finish line, is gonna toss his hat into the ring as an independent. That’s sad on two counts, the first being that he really should not take off any hat that hides that bad comb-over, but is also sad because of the elementary school-yard attitude it portrays. For God’s sake, the man has a golden crapper but still uses a ShamWow on his hair. More to the point though, it will give the Republicans just what they don’t need – another reason to be idiotically divided.

DAILY NEWS -- January 9th, 2012

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 21:47:00 +0000

DATELINE: WAY DOWN SOUTH, KEEPING AN EYE ON THOSE FUCKING
NUTS – What did one nut say to the other? I’m coming down to Venezuela to pay you a visit.

There you have it: a cluster of nuts, dangling about right there in South America. Chavez and Ahmadinejad are together again, arm in arm, sharing an embrace, the Malevolent Biff and Bob of the Geopolitical Sect. Hugo is still on his tirade about the United States causing all the South American government leaders to get cancer, and is still slinging bargain-basement burritos at the masses, of course not at bargain basement prices, but they are the national food, so shut up and eat. When Hugo says 'eat my fucking burritos', who is gonna argue?

And my old buddy Mahmoud… that crazy bastard started his visit by stating "Our weapon is logic. Our weapon is culture. Our weapons are human values." Who the hell is he trying to kid? Talk about yer fucking brazil nut sammich. So what unites these two fucking Almond Joy bars? Oil, because they have it coming out their asses,and a hate of ‘the imperialistic US’… the one that they have absolutely no intention of harming or invading or bombing, even though it is the 'axis of evil' *insert sinister music here*. Of course they have a logical explanation for the uranium enrichment that has started in Iran – it has some sort of medical purpose (ummm, like ending lives, instead of helping them?)

I’ve said it before, I will say it again: When the mayans were on calendar-making coffee break and opened up their Chinese fortune cookies, it was a picture of these two idiots and that uber-macho,even uberer-dangerous dickhead Putin that they saw, and they just threw up their chisels and hammers and said ‘fuck it’.

DATELINE: UP NORTH, WHERE THE AIR IS CRISP AND BRAINS ARE FROZEN – ‘Whose brain?’ you might (ridiculously) ask. Well, I am gonna surprise you with this one. If you guessed Sarah Palin, you were wrong… well, half wrong. You might want to sit down for this fucking game-changer in the GOP race. This is the announcement the whole fucking world has been waiting for. Leaders in countries far and near have been praying for this fucking moment. YES, Todd Palin has made an endorsement for who he thinks (yes, this word is being used artistically here) should be leader of the Republican Party. Whew! I was getting god damned worried about this. How were they ever going to get by without this bit of fucking information? To top it off, the shit-for-brains fooled me. I was sure Santorum would be his candidate of choice, you know… considering… you know… the whole shit thing, but no, Rick Santorum can breathe easier now, as can Romney, Huntsman, and Ron Paul. The winner (or loser) of this fucking award will be none other than Nut GinGrinch! Rick Perry, eat your heart out.

DATELINE: SPEAKING OF CLUSTERS OF NUTS – Charlie Sheen announced today that he is no longer insane. We can take his word for it. Take a minute. Let that news sink in… then laugh your fucking ass off.

DATELINE: PUTTING ANOTHER NOTCH ON THE VATICAN BEDPOST – Because rape, sexual abuse, abuse, sodomy, abuse of authority, obstruction of justice, genocide (yeah, you thought we had forgotten those pesky little Crusades, didn’t you), perjury, assisting in multiple cover-ups, running a brothel from the basement of the Holy City and hypocrisy just weren’t enough, lets add plagiarism to the list of skills the Pope and his gang of merry men have perfected. Yes, they announced that while doing up the biographies for their list of new Cardinals, they stole the bios from, wait for it… Wikipedia… without attribution even -- those sneaky bead-jigglers. Come on, they are your own fucking people. You have the damned personnel files on em, but you had to steal bios to hand out to your few yet-to-be-fleeced-sheep? I guess, in their defense, they used the Italian versions, but seriously? The thing that gave them away… in the releases they made, they described their cardinals as being ‘catholic’. Well, duh! Now they are saying they were just trying to ‘help’ and the biographies were ‘unofficial’. My favorite excuse though, and you would think the catholic church should be getting at least a little better at it (but apparently not) is that they had no advanced notice of the names and had been in a hurry. Man, the kneelers in the confessionals in St Peters have to be just about fucking worn out.

ARTSY FARTSY FLUFF CRAP RECAP

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 22:30:00 +0000

Goodbye 2011, We hope you take these idiots with you!

*cues CanCan music*

Hey, here comes that time of year
When we sit back and gladly cheer
We wave goodbye to stories queer
And Lindsay Lohan Lohan Lohan

Chris Aquilera tried to sing
A truly patriotic thing
Perhaps next time the words she’ll bring
Since she don’t really know em.

Kate and Willie tied the knot
And Spidey’s webs he finally shot
Then Chaz raised shit with his foxtrot
The sponsors tried to blow ‘im.

Gaga carried shoulder-high inside an egg
Rupert Murdoch for clemency he had to beg
Kim Kardashian married for a whole week
Mel Gibson should never speak, never speak, never speak!

Maria kicked out Ahnold’s ass
And Beiber’s semen moved real fast
Show hosting torches had to pass
Bye Oprah, Regis Philbin, Philbin

A rock appeared on Britney’s hand
And Charlie Sheen amazed the land
With his tiger piss/Adonis plan
The ratings he was killin’, killin’

Palin, Romney, Bachmann too
Santorum spewing lots of poo
With Cain and Ron Paul (oy vey) What a crew!
Scripts for Jon Stewart fillin, fillin.

So now we start a brand new year
It will require much more beer
As more of this crap we’ll have to hear
Damn Lindsay Lohan, Lohan Lohan.

SANTORUM -- NAME AND NATURE?

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 19:20:00 +0000

DATELINE: DABBING AT THE FROTH THAT OOZES PAST HIS SPHINCTER – Who else could I be talking about but that GOP glaring bright light of hope for the future, the blessed one, the chosen one, the fucking nuts one -- RickSantorum, the ‘Jesus Candidate’. Well, he might be that, because whenever I see him come on my television, I scream ‘Oh Jesus!’ and turn the fucking channel.

To just remind all of you religious rage-aholics, there is a wonderful document in the United States of America. It’s called the Constitution, and within it, right there in the very first amendment, it states “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof ....". Further along, in the fourth article, just for added clarity, it also states "no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States."

Now enter Rick Santorum, that frothy bit of butt juice, with his repeated spewing of "our civil laws have to comport with a higher law: God's law." So, apparently, Christian law’s trump everything else? Which of God’s laws are we talking about? And while he is saying this, he is talking about the ‘creeping threat of Muslim law’ – because apparently THEIR God is not the God Rick is talking about.

"We have Judeo-Christian values that are based on biblical truth. ... And those truths don't change just because people's attitudes may change." Well, Rick, you just said a mouthful! True enough… so which biblical truth are we going to embrace? If we sin with our arm, we should cut it off, or do we turn the other cheek? Perhaps the Lord helps those who help themselves trumps the fact that you are your brother’s keeper, unless of course, you are keeping them in prison, because they couldn’t help themselves. Do we embrace the vengeful god or the loving god.

Here is the first of my problems… the government should not force you to adhere to any one religion. If I want to worship a fucking cabbage, that is my business, and as long as I do not infringe on other people’s rights in the process, just fuck off and let me and my cabbage have at it. If you look at ALL of the religions on the world, every one of them has one basic, guiding principle – do unto others. All the rest is just a load of propaganda, crap inserted by the current interpreter to make the words meet his own needs. Why is this so fucking difficult? Rick Santorum’s God might be white-skinned, red-haired, bearded and speaking in English, and that’s cool. I rather doubt that if that same image of God showed up to the Maori people, he might just be a tad different, speakin a different language that they could relate to and understand, speaking the same fucking thing – do unto others. The absolute unmitigated arrogance of pricks like Rick Santorum about their religion is enough to make me puke.

But more than that, he, as President of the most powerful nation on the planet, is planning to deny millions of people their rights, impose his own (idiotic) beliefs on everyone, and that will make the world perfect. He is planning to overturn decisions and laws set up to protect everyone in the nation, all so he can tout his own god, and in the process make himself a saint. He will thump that Bible and, like those who wrote the Good Book, will twist its words to his own end. Any book that is a transcription of a transcription of a transcription, morphing through languages, interpretations and changes at the same rate as Depends in a senior’s home, cannot be touted as ‘the whole truth’. It was written by men for political purposes, with specific agendas, heavily laden with metaphor and symbolism, just so that it could be
this perfect weapon of abuse when it comes to individual rights. Yes, you can argue, but if you think about that, you will know its truth, and then you will be going to hell along with me. No worries, we will be in good fuckin company in our hell. The bar there is kickass.

This cannot be overstated: the man is nuckin futs, a fruit case of the most arrogant kind, a man who is bent on using religion to set himself on a pedestal while all others around him are tossed into the pits of hell, and yes, he will make sure they are in his own sick fucking version of hell. That he is taken seriously for even a minute is astounding, and makes me throw up a little in my mouth. The man who campaigns on DENYING human and religious rights is now a front runner. What the fuck does this say to you?

Freedom, honor, respect, tolerance, acceptance -- in the Santorum lexicon, these words don't exist. What is most disturbing of all, though, is the fact that even for one fraction of one minute this bastard is being taken seriously? I don't care what else he brings to the table -- the rest of it is just too much to sacrifice.

So, to the people who embrace what Santorum represents -- quit blaming people who are a different color than you for your fears, quit blaming people who practice a different religion than you for your insecurities about your own shortcomings, and quit blaming gays and lesbians for your unhappy fucking marriages and sexual hangups. Those are all YOU problems, not theirs, and the are certainly not something for which the entire nation should pay the price. Get a life, get serious about what is needed in leadership right now, and find someone to fucking elect who is not the raving lunatic of the god damned year.

SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT YEAR

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 00:48:00 +0000

DATELINE: SAME SHIT, DIFFERENT YEAR: Well, it is encouraging to know that some things will never fuckin change. First, the catholic church. *insert almost patient sigh here*. They created this bullshit front/homage to tolerance by creating Courage. Now, I have no idea what the hell ‘Courage’ is to me, but after spending time listening to the Catholic Church expounding on its wisdom, and perusing its website, if I wasn’t completely offended before by the church I grew up with and their hypocritical loads of bullshit, I certainly am now. Courage is sort of a Catholic AA for homosexuals, a 12-step program to rid them of their need for...affection? Intimacy? The Catholic Church's Courage Program is NOT about tolerance at all. This is about ‘curing’ gays and lesbians. I am surprised Michelle Bachmann’s face isn’t all over the fecking website, being the posterbitch for the Intolerant Movement.

Catholic Church Courage: Their site claims to promote tolerance ‘By developing an interior life of chastity, which is the universal call to all Christians, one can move beyond the confines of the homosexual identity to a more complete one in Christ.’ Universal to all Christians? What the fuck is that!! An interior life of chastity? Shall I start the fucking list of oh so chaste fucking catholic priests and bishops, and that doesn't have anything to do with their god damned internal life? They were right out there, for the world to see, getting away with rape, sodomy, sexual abuse, manipulation, corruption, abuse... while the Church withheld the evidence and obstructed justice. Where the hell do they get off (okay, considering who I am talking about, ‘get off’ is probably not the greatest choice of words) telling ANYONE else what to do when they sure as hell don’t adhere to those principles, or apparently any principles, at all?

So, apparently they are saying that 'it’s okay for you to be gay, we as a church embrace that, as long as you come to us to be cured, and as long as you don’t call it marriage'. According to Deacon Robert Pallotti, the directorate of the Office of the Diaconate in Connecticut, New Hampshire, “These are people in the Roman Catholic Church who need our care and love. In some cases, they have been rejected by society. They need to be accepted, affirmed and supported as Roman Catholics trying to remain faithful to church teachings.”

They have been ‘accepted, affirmed and supported’. How the hell is it possible that a lightning bolt did not take this asshole out the minute he started to speak?
He goes on to say “Through support and spiritual intervention, we can help those with same-sex attractions live moral and fulfilling lives. These people are hurting and so are their families. Doing nothing would be a lack of compassion.”

These people are hurting,because they are being forced to live a lie, because they are made to feel ashamed of who they are, because of dickhead narrow-minded intolerant pieces of shit, like Pallotti and the rest of his Courage friends, who can’t even say love or marriage or relationships. All this ‘same sex attractions’ is just another way of them denying that a person who is gay is allowed to have feelings or is allowed to love. All of this 'Courage' bullshit being spewed from catholic mouths is akin to the futuristic horror movie The Rick Santorum Solution, undoubtedly a low budget film that will star Rick in the leading role, backed with a wonderful array of fucking junkyard dogs.

In the past week, we have been subjected to reports of catholic bishops admitting to fathering families, allowing the mother to raise the children alone. We have had priests in court because of their procurement and possession of child pornography (yes, it was in Canada, so yes, the fucking sick bastard was sentenced yesterday to time already served). Yes, this one is STILL a priest. Apparently this sort of thing is NOT reason for them to get the boot. Counseling a woman to follow her doctor’s advice if he advises a hysterectomy, however, is. Excuse me if I don’t bow down to the amazing brilliance and erudite guidance offered by the Catholic Church. Until they clean up their own fucking mess, in every sense of the term, they have absolutely no business telling anyone else what to do. As for them expounding the merits of tolerance and acceptance? Yeah, go check out their ‘Courage’ site; you’ll soon learn that those words are not even a possibility in this organization.

Ding, Dong the Dick(tater) is Dead

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 04:41:00 +0000

DATELINE: ON THE RED CARPET AT THE NORTH KOREAN SEVERELY-OVERACTED OSCARS – And the award goes to... the masses of people wailing, clawing in the streets, pulling their hair out as they scream in agony at the loss of their incredible amazing altruistic generous loving leader. Hang on a minute while I go puke. At first I watched the coverage very carefully, looking for the tanks and guns that had to be trained on the people performing in the streets as the coffin screamed past. Then I thought that perhaps it was just that the people were offered fucking food for their outlandish performances.

North Korea – an oxymoron inside an oxymoron, run by a moron. The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea is, at the same time, a Juche Unitarian Single-Party State, and is nothing more than a fucking autocratic dictatorship run by a heartless thug who will sacrifice any number of his people for the sake of maintaining his almighty power and authority. This is a country run by a familial thread of despots, who cleverly guised their three-class union as the ultimate equalization of all classes, even though they are divided into peasant, worker and intellectual cliques. No matter how beautiful the fucking flag they drape over it, this is still an Orwellian ‘all pigs are created equal, but some pigs are more equal than others’ society... just with fewer more-equal pigs than most. Kim (insert any of the three given names in here -- they are one in the same) claims to allow freedom of religion while teaching children from the time they are born the proper way to pay homage to Kim Il-sung, the God of Korea, and his holy offspring. This Democratic Republic of Communism Oppression does, in fact, have a very impressive level of literacy, and believes in the value of education. Unfortunately the true value of education in their world is totally about brainwashing and control of the masses, making them willing to accept their need to freeze and starve while the government spends billions on nuclear weapon development and a fucking space program. They expound to their people the virtues of progress while keeping the entire population in an iron-clad bubble, designed to prevent them from knowing anything about what potential is out there, what equality is, that there really is hope for a life of freedom. They accept the starvation of their own babies, they watch their children die, they watch people executed for not toeing the line, but they save all their tears for the death of a politician.

Indifferent, unmoving, heartless and completely egomaniacal, Kim Jong-il ruled North Korea. Under his watch, two million people starved to death in one winter. Under his watch, international aid to help starving people was denied. Under his watch, people lived in hovels, froze in the extreme Korean winter cold, and lived in blissful ignorance of what the world is really about, what is really possible, that their lot is not the norm the world over. How could they know? They read what he allowed them to read, they did the jobs he told them to do, they heard what he allowed to be said. Now they cry hysterically in the streets, dropping to their knees, crawling along the fucking dirt streets on their hands and knees in grief, screaming for their beloved leader not to leave them. Such a contrast from the Arab Spring, where similar heartless dickheads could be joyfully executed in the streets by the people they oppressed, now aware of what they had been deprived and not willing to tolerate it any more. If, perhaps, the North Korean people had an inkling of the abuse they have been forced to tolerate, perhaps there would be no crying in the streets. Perhaps they would throw the bastard the ticker-tape parade he deserves on his trip through the streets on his way to hell, joining the likes of bin Laden, Hussein, Gadhafi, Hitler, Stalin and the other long string of tyrants who used the blood and flesh of the people to pad the walls of their fucking castles and the interior of their wallets. The sad truth of the pictures on television is that a country mourns, naively unaware, wrapped tightly in a blanket of deceit they will never shed in our lifetime. They do it, because that is what they are told to do... and you don’t disregard orders when you live in the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.

US STUPID COMMITTEE -- WELL DONE, ASSHATS

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 02:09:00 +0000

DATELINE: ON SEASAME STREET, LEARNING ABOUT CO-OPEATION: Apparently some place that NONE of the fucking assholes from the US Senate and the US Congress ever bothered to do, and the cost, not to them, because they will still get paid, will be huge. The Republicans can’t bear the idea of taxing the rich, because that’s where they are getting their money, and where a lot of those politicians fall in the tax schedule! Democrats are too attached to their social programs and don’t want to give them up! The Republicans don’t want a deal because then they can use the whole clusterfuck to campaign against Obama and when they get in and control Washington, they can put whatever bills they want forward. The Democrats didn’t want a deal so that Obama could campaign against Congress. Quit playing the God damned games and do what you are paid to do. We all have to do that; why don’t you? You have a job – be fucking glad for that! – so just do it and quit with the kindergarten theatrics.

Here’s a little fucking reality check for all of you dickheads. The social programs will die anyways when there is no one working because there are no jobs. As they walk away from their homes to let them rot because they can’t pay their mortgages or their utilities, they will NOT be paying taxes either. They will not be buying the shit that the merchants who still have stores are trying to sell. They will not be buying cars, putting more people out of work. They will not be travelling, because who the fuck can afford to. If they are expected to carry the weight of the debt because those in the top 1% have the money for the accountants to find the loopholes to get them out of paying taxes. It’s happened for years, but god forbid that get dealt with. God forbid they may have to coin up a little bit. Of course, they will have more desperate, destitute people to take advantage of, because those trying to feed their families will do anything they have to, so let’s take advantage of them.
Now, why do I give a flying fuck about the US Congress and US Senate being populated with colossal dickheads, and a committee of Super-assholes? I don’t live down there, I don’t pay taxes down there, and my passport does not have the seal of the United States of America on it. But I do care. I care because I have friends down there who already cannot make ends meet. I have friends who have lost everything they worked years to build, and they lost it through no fucking fault of their own, but because of the crap pulled by the companies and government officials who have only one interest in mind – their own pockets and the amount of money in those pockets. They don’t give a flying crap about anyone else, about the people who pay their wages, and go without so there can be huge bonuses for work that a fucking trained monkey and an abacus could do.

I care because not only did these idiots fuck over their own country, they have fucked over a whole lot of other countries whose currencies and economies are already suffering from the shit going on from the mismanagement down there. Welcome to the shit that goes along with being a world power, the ‘most powerful country in the world’. Yes, we are pissed off, because by being a trading partner with you, you just fucked us as well. Yet the politicians have the audacity to thank each other for their work on the committee? Sorry, but they all fucking failed. You couldn’t be civil in the room – oh, wait... were you even in the same room? – so why the hell go through the absolutely insulting pretence now? You failed. You were PAID to do a job, and yet again, you pocket the money and fuck the tax payer. Well done. Please, remind us again, what exactly is your own personal wealth, Super Committee members? Perhaps if you depended on food stamps, medicaid, or were a vet living on just a veteran's benefits, you would have been more motivated to get off your ass and do something.

I would love for each of those idiots to do one thing, now that they have shown their priorities and their maturity. I would love for them to sit down in a fucking classroom with some Grade 10 students, and explain exactly what the fuck they were doing and why they were not able to agree on anything. I would like them to do it together, all of them, in one classroom, talking to the future, explaining to THEM why it was so impossible, why the word ‘compromise’ is nowhere in the political dictionary anymore, at least not in this era of the eternal election campaign. I would like for them to walk into the VA and explain to the men and women who have served and given so much for the safety and security of their country that their benefits, already abysmal, will be further cut. I would like them to explain to the people who depend on food stamps because they lost their jobs because of the shit pulled by corporate offices as they send the work overseas where it can be done cheaply (who cares about the quality) and will mean more money in their own pockets, that they can no longer have food stamps, because those were cut as well. I hope they have some lubricant with them for that, because it would at least be a believable sympathetic gesture in this pitiful comedy.

I guess, as the gap between rich and poor expands like a bank executive’s waistband, and the middle class is totally wiped out, elections just won’t matter a damn anymore. It’s hard to follow all that mudslinging when you have no television or radio, and you can’t afford a newspaper. Well done, Dickheads. Could John Kerry (D-Massachusetts), Max Baucus (D-Montana), John Kyl (R-Arizona), Pat Murray (D-Washington), Xavier Becerra (D-California), Jim Clyburn (D-South Carolina), Chris Van Hollen (D-Maryland), Rob Portman (R-Ohio), Pat Toomey (R-Pennsylvania), Jeb Hensarling (R-Texas), Fred Upton (R-Michigan) and Dave Camp (R-Michigan) please stand up and take a bow, for ensuring that those who can least afford it will once again carry the brunt of this partisan bullshit.

TODAY AND EVERY DAY, THANK YOU

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 17:08:00 +0000

Always remember , Freedom is never free.

Thank you to all veterans, to our friends, family, and colleagues who have worn the uniform and continue to pay the price. You can be taken from battle, but the battle can never be taken from you.

Some veterans bear visible signs of their service: a missing limb, a Jagged scar, a certain look in the eye. Others may carry the evidence inside them: a pin holding a bone together, a piece of shrapnel in the leg or perhaps another sort of inner steel: The soul's ally forged in the refinery of adversity.

Except in parades, however, the men and women who have kept America safe wear no badge or emblem. You can't tell a vet just by looking.

What is a vet?

He is the cop on the beat who spent six months in Saudi Arabia sweating two gallons a day making sure the armored personnel carriers didn't run out of fuel.

He is the barroom loudmouth, dumber than five wooden planks, whose overgrown frat-boy behavior is outweighed a hundred times in the cosmic scales by four hours of exquisite bravery near the 38th parallel.

She or he is the nurse who fought against futility and went to sleep sobbing every night for two solid years in Danang.

He is the POW who went away one person and came back another or didn't come back AT ALL.

He is the Quantico drill instructor who has never seen combat but has saved countless lives by turning slouchy, no-account rednecks and gang members into Marines, and teaching them to watch each other's backs.

He is the parade-riding Legionnaire who pins on his ribbons and medals with a prosthetic hand.

He is the career quartermaster who watches the ribbons and medals pass him by.

He is the three anonymous heroes in The Tomb Of The Unknowns, whose presence at the Arlington National Cemetery must forever preserve the memory of all the anonymous heroes whose valor remains unrecognized with them on the battlefield or in the ocean's sunless deep.

He is the old guy bagging groceries at the supermarket, aggravatingly slow, who helped liberate a Nazi death camp and who wishes all day long that his wife was still alive to hold him when the nightmares come.

He is an ordinary and yet an extraordinary human being, a person who offered some of his life's most vital years in the service of his country, and who sacrificed his ambitions so others would not have to sacrifice theirs.

He is a Soldier, Marine, Sailor or Airman, and also a savior and a sword against the darkness, and he is nothing more than the finest, greatest testimony on behalf of the finest, greatest nation ever known.

So remember, each time you see someone who has served our country, just lean over and say Thank You. That's all most people need, and in most cases it will mean more than any medals they could have been awarded or were awarded.

Two little words that mean a lot: "THANK YOU".

God Bless Our Veterans!

by Paula Blois

November 11, 2011

DAILY NEWS -- November 8th, 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Tue, 08 Nov 2011 15:15:00 +0000

DATELINE: BEATING THE SUGAR OUT OF THE CAIN: This might surprise you, considering the topic, but no, this is NOT about Herman Cain and his alleged inability to keep it in his fucking pants (well, it might be, but that’s secondary). This is about the entire press corps and their pathetic attempts to fill news time with their partisan bullshit. That’s what is wrong with the whole fucking continent –we have asshole politicians with a huge sense of entitlement, and a media that panders to them.

Since this story about sexual harassment broke, how many ‘experts’ have been interviewed about what this does to a person, why they might not report it immediately, why they might report it now? Well hell, why would they bring those on when they can have a plethora of pundits sit and spew erudite opinions from their assholes? As usual, the REAL story, the real opportunity to be journalists and make a difference is lost in the need to score political points one way or the other. To hear men saying that ‘it happened twelve years ago so what difference does it make’ is enough to make me want to crawl through the television screen and scrog a few scrotes.

Why didn’t these women come forward when it happened? Well, two of them did, and there IS record of that because they were in fact paid settlements that, in 2003, Herman Cain acknowledged. Funny how in 2003, he admits to something that he adamantly denies today… but I digress. Most women will not come forward at the time, because they will lose their fucking jobs if they do, or they will be poo-pooed by the rest of the male workforce and subjected to even more harassment. That’s the wonderful thing about sexual harassment – it’s like the gift that keeps on giving.
Women in that situation, by nature, feel ashamed. They shouldn't, but they do. They are accused of wearing the wrong clothes, saying the wrong words, standing the wrong way, walking too provocatively, or chewing their food in a way that would invite a man to make advances. It is always HER fault. That’s why they rarely make a claim at the time. Why did they wait for twelve years? Because they can see that now this man has a very viable opportunity to become the most powerful man in the world; how the hell many more women does that put on his holy altar? As the Big Guy in the Oral Office, how many other women would he abuse? They came forward because they are scared as hell for other women that might have to work with him. After twelve years, to dig up this shit internally and relive it though asshole reporters and pundits is not an act of desperation; it’s an act of sacrifice and bravery because they know, once again, they will be victims of abuse because of it. For reporters to say that none of these reports have a bearing on how a man will vote is nothing more than MORE evidence as to why women will not come forward when they are victimized like this. To have those absolutely ignorant blonde bimbos using their news shows to spew the Republican Party line and discredit all these women and victims is totally reprehensible. Stick to the fucking story, ladies, and quit turning this into nothing more than cheap talking points for our own pulpits. Be journalists for a fucking change.

As for Herman Cain… *sigh*… My problem is not that he apparently was an asshole twelve years ago. To be honest, working in predominantly male work environments all my life, I would be surprised if he didn’t, because, and there is no way to gently state this, a LOT of men are colossal dicks to work around. Their attitude towards women sucks. Here is a news bulletin for all you wanker-toting individuals out there: the majority of women-folk can think, we can work, and we do NOT spend our entire day dreaming of that perfect man and trying to tantalize you all.

Herman Cain COULD have gotten in front of this, but he chose to be an asshole. Yes, it was years ago and people do change, and he easily could have said that yes, he had made mistakes, yes, he has grown and matured and learned something about it, and yes, he recognizes that he can make a difference by helping to empower women and make it so this is less likely to happen. When he instead went with the ‘deny, deny, deny’ despite evidence to the contrary (yes, I am back to the cases where there were cash settlements – and those have not been disputed), it set the precedent for him, and was a pretty clear indicator that there was more to come. When he started to get angry at the press for asking him about it… considering he IS planning to become President of the United States… anyone with half a brain had to wonder what the anger was for, and realize the obvious thing is that there are even more skeletons in the closet. He has adopted the old ‘offence is defense’ principle, and it will not work. He could have turned this into something beneficial for himself, for women, for workplaces, but instead, he showed that yes, Virginia, he really is a misogynistic prick, no, he does not have any respect for women, and for sure, he is not an appropriate candidate to lead the country.

He will have a press conference today. The asshole reporters will chew apart every word he says, looking for innuendo. They will conveniently avoid discussing the fact that statistics indicate that up to 70% of women working in North America have been victims of sexual harassment in the workplace. Yes, that is UP TO, because, like cases of sexual assault, the vast majority of the cases go unreported because the victim has already been abused enough and can’t handle the shame of having to go through the process again, and again, and again, in order to get anywhere when the bottom line is, and the abusers know this, it will be one word against the other, and that very rarely works in the victim’s favor. Statistics show that at least 62% of victims will not take action. Virtually 100% of female victims claim that their harasser was a male. Of the reported 7% of men who are victims of sexual harassment (although, again, I suspect this would be higher if all of them came forward), 59% of them are harassed by women. 70% of the time, the person doing the harassing is someone of higher status and authority within the organization, 20% of the time it will be someone at the same employment status as the victim.

Am I pissed about this whole situation? Damned right I am. The media circus has proven in spades why victims will not come forward in these situations, and has set the cause of ending sexual harassment backwards by twenty years just in the last two weeks. Herman Cain has taken what could have been an incredible opportunity to make a real difference to a lot of people, and turned it into his own little fucking pity party, peppered liberally with self-righteous indignation. Despite the policies he might campaign with, despite his ability to make a speech, despite his hard earned success, he has proven he is not a man who will stand up and be counted, and in doing so he has proven he is not a man to be elected President of the most powerful and influential country in the world. He has shown it would not be appropriate to have him championing women’s rights or human rights or equality or freedoms. He has shown that he is nothing more than slimy and pathetic, especially when, as a last ditch effort, he brings his wife into the debate by stating she supports him and knows nothing about his perverse sexual proclivities. My first response to that is that if you are an asshole to women, Herman, what the hell else is she supposed to do? My second response is that she is your wife, and the wife is always the last to know, since I rather doubt your over-dinner banter includes a list of the women you groped over the course of your work day. Sorry, asshole, but your 15 minutes should be up. Unfortunately, with the media we are blessed with today, this fucking cock and pony show will continue on, to the detriment of all victims of sexual harassment, for many more weeks.

There are many people out there who have made mistakes. The real adults own up, learn and use that experience to make a difference. There are many good people out there who treat others with respect; why the hell is it so hard to find a candidate in any political suit who understands respect or shows respect? Why is respect such a rare commodity in the media now? Until we start to see that, it’s damned near impossible for us to have any respect for them. It’s time for us to start demanding it in both arenas.

DAILY NEWS - November 3rd, 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 01:16:00 +0000

DATELINE: PULLING JURY DUTY – Judge William Adams, that child beating piece of fucking dog crap, says that there is a story that will come out about why his daughter, who has cerebral palsy, released a video tape of him whipping her, screaming at her, threatening to hit her in the face... as if there is a justification for what he did. What the fuck is wrong with this piece of shit, and why the hell is he allowed to sit in judgment of anyone when he goes home and breaks the law. This is not spanking. This is not corporal punishment. This is almost eight fucking minutes of beating a child, hitting her again and again with a leather strap while he is totally obviously out of control. What the fuck difference could it possibly make as to why his daughter released the video?

Yes, the event happened seven years ago, long enough for the statute of limitation to have run out on assault, and yes, she might have another reason. I would consider it a fucking blessing that she finally spoke out about it, because there is yet another minor child in danger of that monster that is her father. Someone needs to look out for that child.

It is pretty fucking clear that this was not a one-time event, because the girl set up a damned video camera to catch what he does to her. I don’t care if she is blackmailing him... there is absolutely NOTHING that anyone can do that deserves that treatment from anyone, let alone a parent. There is NOTHING any child could possibly do that deserves such a barbaric beating. She uploaded some music. Well, yeah, that’s wrong... but not something that merits what she received.

Judge William Adams, the Aransas County Court-at-Law Judge, should never be allowed to sit on the bench again. He should not be allowed to practice the law. Practice? Ain’t that a ripe one. He apparently does not practice what he preaches from his tax-payer sponsored bench. He should not be allowed to sit in judgment of anyone, and he should never be allowed to be anywhere near a child or a woman, because this piece of crap has no respect for anything. That beating has nothing to do with rage or anger or discipline, but was completely about his own ego, his own dick and his own sick needs. Every case the man has adjudicated involving children or abuse should be revisited, because this monster would not be capable of sound judgment where children are concerned. He should be locked away with some of the people who he sent away. Let them teach him what it’s like when they make him the victim of their perverted sexual weaknesses. Alternately, lock the son of a bitch in a room with Lorena Bobbitt and a very dull knife. I don’t care, but keep the sick bastard away from anyone else he might hurt.

Gad-Dafi Duck -- Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-... That's all, folks.

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 22:18:00 +0000

DATELINE: CELEBRATING SPRING – Arab Spring, that is. Muammar Gaddafi is dead. This would be a good time to cue the oppressed munchkins into song as they all start to look for that yellow brick road. The house fell on that slimy bastard, and now the people of yet another country, have the opportunity to live a life free from tyranny and despotism. For the people of Libya, as for those of Egypt and Tunisia, it is truly a day to rejoice. 42 years hell at the hands of one man was more than enough. Finally the future for the people of that country is something to think about, dream about, plan for. I cannot imagine what it is like to live in a place so totally devoid of hope.

Sadly, the word here is ‘celebrate’. Do not for one minute think that I mourn the death of Gaddafi. Like Saddam, like Osama, or that I will when the time comes for the likes of Chavez and Bashar al-Assad. They were/are hideous heinous vile scum of the earth… and still I find myself pondering the notion of celebrating the death of another human. It’s not something new; it is something that on some level makes me feel a twinge of guilt… and I hate that. I was raised to believe in the sanctity of life. It’s a nice pipedream, one that should be straightforward enough but is muddied by politics, hatred, violence, war, greed, and despots. Adding to my anger is that this desire to see them dead was something they brought on themselves. They made us want them dead. The choices they made, the priority they gave their lives over absolutely everybody else, their unmitigated greed, ego, hubris…. It’s a long list of qualities, but I cannot manage to wrap my brain around how anyone can think so much of themselves and so little of the rest of the world, to believe that others are there simply for the convenience and comfort of the chosen few. It’s truly sad, something that should be researched to find a cure or a preventative vaccine. I want to celebrate Gaddafi’s death, but I can’t. Instead, I will rejoice in the success of the people of Libya, their strength, their determination, and now, their futures.

What I would like to ask, though, is that while we list the names of these absolutely heinous people, we remember other names. How about remembering the name Mohamed Bouazizi? I suspect many of you are asking why we need to remember this name. Why should the name of Bouazizi slip from our lips as easily as Bin Laden, Chavez, Kim, or Ahmadinejad?

Mohamed Bouazizi was a Tunisian street vendor. He was 26 years old when, on January 4, 2011, he set himself on fire to protest the horrendous treatment he received at the hands of government officials and to make a statement that the time had come for change. He had no idea what would happen, what he would start, the number of lives he would change. Oh that he could know. Perhaps he does. This one act, this act of a man who had decided death was better than the oppression he suffered for trying to make an honest living, was the catalyst for the Tunisian Revolution. His death moved the people of Tunisia, made them rise up, lift their voices and demand change. Ten days later, President Zine El Abidine Ben Ali stepped down after ruling with an iron fist for 23 years. Mohamed Bouazizi’s death gave birth to the Arab Spring, and because of his actions, on the day that Gaddafi died, the people of Tunisia voted in democratic elections for the first time. Yes, there is a sweet fucking irony in that fact.

Because of Bouazizi, Tunisia has elections, Hosni Mubarak was overthrown and stands trial, Muammar Gaddafi was been killed, Ali Abdullah Seleh agreed to step down, the governments of Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Oman, and Morocco have implemented fundamental changes. Uprisings and protests continue in Syria, Bahrain, Algeria and Iraq, where more people are seeking changed, demanding change, fighting for change and, sadly, dying for change.

While you watch your news, while you vent about politics, debates, GOP leadership candidates who do not have the brains to blow their own noses, government officials who do not have the balls to do what they should be doing because they are too concerned about being re-elected so they can spend another four years doing nothing but worrying about winning the next election, think of Mohamed Bouazizi. The next time you shrug and say ‘it is what it is’ or ‘you can’t fight city hall’ or ‘what can one person do’, think about Mohamed Bouazizi

Jewish Persecution -- The New Spin

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 14:28:00 +0000

DATELINE: IN SCHOOL, LEARNING TERRORISM FIRST-HAND – Terrorism is nothing new to the people of Israel. They have lived with attacks, physical, religious, personal and otherwise for centuries. The Jews have been on the receiving end of genocide and persecution for generations, going back to the beginning of time. You would THINK they understand, then, that absolute hatred is the worst evil our world has to offer, wouldn’t you? Apparently for the extreme orthodox Jews of Beit Shemesh, a little town outside of Jerusalem, they want to give even better than they get. The subject of their hate-filled, vile, ignorant ire? The Orot Girl’s Elementary school. Yes, these grown men with their ringlets and their black hats, stand outside the school waiting for these little girls and their mothers. When they arrive, the girls are called sluts and worse, they have stones, tomatoes and, yes, even shit thrown at them as they go to and from school. These are little girls going to school. These are orthodox Jewish children being terrorized on a daily basis by grown Jewish men who SHOULD know better.

It’s amazing – I use the word amazing because that would be more politically correct than saying that it is absolutely beyond all fucking logic and common sense – that the minute ‘ultra’ or ‘extreme’ are added to any religious belief, the common tenets of all religions suddenly doesn’t apply. All of us, regardless of who is the Big Guy, are taught the ‘Golden Rule’. We all have the same holy edicts about murder, love, hate, respect… until we become a radical; then its every man for himself. We kill, haunt, terrorize, torture, mutilate, steal, and lie just to prove that our God is better than your God. How fucking stupid is that? It’s not ultra or radical or extreme…. It’s rabid, and at that point it has absolutely NOTHING to do with religion and everything to do with man’s ability to control other men, religion be damned.

In Beit Shemesh, these men scream at the girls that they are defiling the neighbourhood, that they are immoral. Of course, throwing shit and slutty comments at little girls certainly sets the low water mark in the immoral and defiling categories, so I guess these men would be considered experts in the matter. These children are 6 to 12 years old.

So, is this hatred, this abuse, this intolerance REALLY about the way a six-year-old girl dresses to go to school – which by all standards is incredibly modest to say the least? Hell no. This has nothing to do with that. This has everything to do with… what else could there be in Israel… who controls the land. Beit Shemesh is considered an ultra-orthodox community and they do not want this sort of school anywhere around them, not even on the outskirts of their little piece of fucking heaven, so they scream and abuse LITTLE GIRLS in order to make them leave. Schoolyard bullies, eat your fucking hearts out.

We have seen the tactics of the Westboro Baptist Church in North America, we have lived the absolute horror of the attacks on US soil by Muslim extremists, we watch the news every day as people stand up to and die because of Sharia laws, we watch the struggle every day in the Middle East as good people strive to find a means in which everyone can live in peace, we listen to political extremists spew their hatred and political bullshit that has nothing to do with the issues of people living together on this planet and everything to do with the obtaining and maintaining of power and authority to tell others how to live their lives.

There is NO God in any heaven who wants to see little children tortured in any way. There is NO God in any heaven who would teach for one minute that it’s okay to kill people in whatever wonderful way these assholes come up with, because of the clothes someone wears or the direction they kneel in to pray.

A very wise man once told me that ‘spirituality is God’s creation; religion was created by man’. Religion, it seems, was created by man, for solely selfish purposes – the hierarchy of the Catholic Church has proved that repeatedly. The men of Beir Shemesh may consider themselves religious – the sure as hell are nowhere near God-loving or spiritual.

DAILY NEWS - September 22, 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 20:54:00 +0000

DATELINE: ON DEATH ROW, OUTSIDE LOOKING IN – Troy Davis died last night. He did not die of natural causes, he did not die of old age. He was executed for a crime that no one is even sure he committed. While I understand, and yes, even sometimes succumb to the urge to want retribution for those people so brutally, heinously tortured, abused and killed, and for their families as well, there comes a point when you still have to question the whole process. Yes, there are appeals, yes, there are processes… BUT even that is flawed. Rick Perry, GOP leadership candidate, stated that he sleeps just fine at night knowing the number of people he has ordered executed, and that he does not worry about any one of them being innocent. Well, there is every possibility that Troy Davis was innocent. The witnesses who recanted over the years said so. The forensics, when reviewed also said so, but still there was no a mechanism in place to even re-open the case. While I understand that we have all taken great strides towards equality, you still have to wonder if, had Troy Davis not been black, would he be dead today. This was a black man accused of killing a white cop in Georgia, a case with more holes than a block of fucking Swiss cheese. So, while I willingly jump naked into the muddy waters of discrimination and capital punishment, let me ask some questions that are perhaps not asked enough in these situations. Where is the justice in this? If Troy Davis did not commit the crime, or if it was accidental or if it was a wonderful job of the lame evidence offered being planted in order to secure a conviction in a hot-topic emotionally-charged case, did he deserve to be put through years of this emotional torture, the appeals, the stays, and did he deserve to be strapped to a table, left there for an excessively long time, then injected so that he would die a slow death? Is that justice? For one second, put yourself in his place, on death row, on your way to that chamber, knowing you are wrongly accused. What the hell does that feel like? What about Troy Davis’ family and friends? How would it feel to watch as your loved one, someone you know is not guilty, someone who you have been working hard to vindicate, who you have evidence of his innocence, but you can get nowhere for it. Those are people who, for their lives may have believed in the ideal of innocent until proven guilty and guilty beyond a shadow of a doubt, those who believe that good and right will overcome, and the true killer will be caught. Do they deserve that hell? At least while he was live, there was hope that the system could be corrected, but now there is nothing. What about the victim? If Troy Davis did not do this, and there is every possibility that he did not, there is another murderer out there, wandering the streets with the people of Georgia, but this one is even more despicable because he has now taken one more life, indirectly, and is fine with that. Does the family of the victim, in this case officer MacPhail, not deserve to know without any doubt that the person who killed their loved ones is someplace where he cannot hurt anyone else, where he is paying for his crime? What about the person who has to actually push the plunger on that syringe or flip the switch or trip the door? It’s a job, something he is ordered to do. What the fuck does this do to his mind? What nightmares does he have? Execution is barbaric, a tool in the arsenal of despots and dictators, something we cringe at in movies about the French Revolution, but that is to be warmly embraced under our own flawed terms? Yes, there are some who are so hideous, so dangerous, so proud of the lives they have taken and the pain they have caused that we want them gone. They are the few, however. Yes, there are Bible thumpers who would cling to, grapple to the old ‘an eye for an eye’, but that same book says to turn the other cheek. Neither is a sound premise for dealing with justice.

FYI – a look at some statistics courtesy of Wiki… The following 23 countries carried out executions in 2010: Bahrain (1), Bangladesh (9+), Belarus (2), Botswana (1), China (2000+), Egypt (4), Equatorial Guinea (4), Iran (252+), Iraq (1+), Japan (2), Libya (18+), Malaysia (1+), North Korea (60+), Palestinian Authority (5), Saudi Arabia (27+), Singapore (1+), Somalia (8+), Sudan (6+), Syria (17+), Taiwan (4), USA (46+), Vietnam (1+), Yemen (53+).As of 5 May 2011 executions have been reported in the following 9 countries during 2011: Bangladesh, China, Iran, North Korea, the Palestinian Authority, Saudi Arabia, Somalia, UAE, USA. That's some pretty upstanding, stalwart, reasonable, rights-respecting crowd there, ain't it.

DATELINE: IN A CAGE IN A PUB IN ENGLAND – Picture it: the beer is flowing, the crowds are screaming, pumping their fists in the air, hollering for that massive take-down punch. The women prance around in their almost altogether, egging the spectators on. In the middle of the room, inside a cage, are the combatants, neither wearing anything but their shorts, fists raised, both murder and panic in their eyes. Sorta takes you back to those good old gladiator days, until you consider the sick twist this now takes. The two in the cage are aged 8 and 9. Yes, there are children fighting to entertain the frenzied adults. That night, before a crowd of over two hundred, children received the screamed requests to ‘kill em’ and ‘knock ‘is bloody teeth out’. The children were the subject of bets and bookie hard-ons. Am I the ONLY one who sees something incredibly fucking sick and perverted with this? How is it possible for authorities to look at a blood sport like this and say it’s sport and there was nothing wrong? It was in a pub, they were in a cage, they were wearing no protective gear – hell, they were wearing practically nothing – there were women wearing the same amount of clothes prancing around, there were adults grunting and screaming like fucking behemoths as they got their rocks off and their pockets lined, and yet there was nothing wrong with this? What the fuck sort of animals are we turning into. They were 8 and 9. What the fuck lessons are they and their friends learning from this bullshit, this abuse, this hideous treatment of those who are among the most vulnerable. That the Brits can’t find a fucking thing wrong with this, says a mouthful.

DATELINE: ON THE AUTOBAHN, ESCAPING THE POOR HOUSE – Pity Angela Merkel – seems that for many, the future of the world is landing on her shoulders. Germany is being implored to save Greece’s economy, save Italy’s economy, bail out those countries in Europe that cannot afford to pay their bills. Germany has become the eldest sister in a family of ‘live for today’ siblings as the doom and gloom predictions regarding the European economic union come to pass. Remember the flack the UK took for not jumping on the Amazing Technicolor Euro Bus? Bet they aren’t one bit sorry for the flack they took. They recognized the potential for problem, a potential we are just now starting to see. The Euro is, was, and always will be a rudderless ship. They are like the Corleone family with Fredo at the helm. They have a currency for all, but no one body with any teeth to control it or maintain it, that takes the needs of the majority into consideration while passing measures to protect, bolster and grow the economy. The system that involves Congress in the US is, as we have seen, VERY far from perfect, but at least, in essence, they will live or die on their own terms (as stupid, stubborn and partisan as those terms are, the jury is still out as to which way it will go), but Europe has nothing, and now it comes to Big Sister Germany to show pity and bail them out. This is not a situation Merkel or the hard-working tax-paying German’s want to be in, and it is a situation they should not be in. As economies the world over teeter on the brink, Germany has to decide if they open that can of worms and save Greece or let that country flounder in its own excrement. If they save Greece, can Italy be far behind? Spain? These are all big countries with big economies to consider. If they don’t bail out their neighbors though, if Greece falls, that could well precipitate a run on the banks in those other countries as the stark realization sets in that yes, the sky really could fall. A run on the banks would be a harbinger for economic death for all of them. The stakes are high, the fallout, either way, is not good, and the irony is that they world is turning to Germany to save it.
As if poor Angela doesn’t have enough on her plate, the demonstrations and protests begin today as the Pope, that bastion of justice, peace, tolerance and sound logic, arrives for his four-day tour. Yes, this is something else for which the Germans will be footing the bill, arbitrarily, and it will not be an insignificant amount.

DATELINE: WATCHING THE LOONEY GO SKY-DIVING – How the mighty have again fallen. In the course of one night, the beloved Looney, the only currency in the world named for a bird AND for the idiots who regulate it, fell a full two cents, and that was at market open. This comes on the heels of the US Federal Reserve announcing their new plan, Operation Twist. You have to fucking love when they come up with these kitschy names for crazy ideas. Operation Twist puts no money into the economy to help encourage it along, and maybe that’s the thing to do. Basically it equates to selling short and buying long (a theory I fully embrace in many aspects of life). While the theory was offered in an attempt to show something is being done, innovative ideas are at work to right the abysmal situation with the economy, investors saw it as a fucking Hail Mary pass and balked at the premise that this was a good thing. With news that Chinese factory activity is down, and Germany’s business growth has started to dig in its heels, we could be in for a bumpy ride. It amazes me though that even yet, no one looks at the way banks have bled the economy for decades, building ivory towers to house their multi-million dollar earning execs, or the self-aggrandizing, pocket-lining pork-barreling done by politicians as something that could have contributed to this clusterfuck, or as something that still needs to be addressed. No worry, though. Chubby Checker weighed in on 'Operation Twist', because the 24 hour news media knows how to dig out those pertinent positions on the issues that matter. "The Twist has always meant money for everybody," the aging twister is quoted as say. Well, then, how can it fucking fail, right?

DAILY NEWS, September 21st, 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 19:40:00 +0000

DAILY NEWS, September 21st, 2011

DATELINE: IN AN ELEPHANT GRAVEYARD, WEEPING – In a crime that is heinous beyond compare, nine elephants were found dead, their tusks removed. Along with them were five lions, two buffalo and a number of vultures who had the misfortune to dine on the carcasses. The extent further down the food chain is not yet known, but the cause of these deaths is; the waterholes where these animals drink were poisoned... waterholes in five Zimbabwe game reserves. Who the fuck does this stuff? Are we so sick a species that we can drop poison in water with no regard to the effects, other than the money it will put in our pockets, the dead bodies littering the savannah be damned? The other wildlife is nothing more than collateral damage to them, the thousands of creatures that depend on this water for their lives. Already Zimbabwe officials have found ten dead rhinos as well, resulting in warnings that the animals are facing the worst poaching crisis in decades. Why is this crap happening? It’s not because people need the meat for sustenance, or the skins for warmth and protection. It’s because of the asian markets catering to people who give not a fucking damn about anything as long as they can get a boner, and to fat cats to whom such contraband as ivory carvings are expensive compensation for the penises they apparently lack. I have a wish for these particular poachers though... that they are caught, incarcerated, and given a big pot of water from which they are able to drink... a pot of water that is laced with the same crap they used to indiscriminately kill the animals. If they were subject to the same fate as the animals, and if the purchases of their good were subject to these same tactics, perhaps we might get somewhere with this dickheads and save the magnificent creatures that should be roaming the African landscape. NOTE: While I attempt to find graphics pertinent to the story, I could not bring myself to post a picture of what is done to an elephant or a rhino when their tusts are harvested. It is horrid. In some cases the animals are injured but still alive for the harvesting, then left to die. Instead, I will leave you with a picture that allows you to imagine for yourself the widesweeping consequences, the incalculable number of animals, and potentially people, who will die from the poisoning of these water holes.

DATELINE: MATER DOLOROSA CHURCH, RAISING THE ROOF – Well, okay, it’s not the roof in need of raising; it’s the steeple, and the Vatican has announced that they will not approve the renovations to the 115-year-old church. Apparently the parish is too much in debt, and the cost of repairing the steeple is just too much. Funny, but the over $100M the church spent in legal fees and settlements for all of the assault cases they worked so hard to cover up would have gone a long way to making sure this church, this landmark, was properly preserved. This is yet another testament to the total incompetency, the absolute abomination of the rule of Cardinal Bernard Law... who, by the way, was rewarded for his errors by being given a cushy choice appointment at the Vatican. Since the decision to close this church, the parishioners have staged a vigil, keeping people in there at all times, to prevent the demolition of the building. The Dioceses has tried to raise money by selling church property that is not used anymore, but the Vatican has prevented that too... because the buildings would be sold for ‘secular use’. What a load of fucking bullshit. This stunning building is yet another victim of the gross mismanagement and hubris of those oh so holy rollers in Rome; shame on them. They should be paying compensation to the entire diocese, begging forgiveness from the people who were victimized, their families, their other parish members, all those who supported the church while it willingly, knowingly, deliberately worked to circumvent the laws and protect pedophiles and predators. I’m sorry, but it was bad enough to allow this crap to happen, but to then take Bernard Law to the Vatican, allow him to be in charge of the Basilica di Santa Maria Maggiore, and a member of the Congregations for the Oriental Churches, the Clergy, Divine Worship and Discipline of the Sacraments, Evangelisation of Peoples, Institutes of Conscreated Life and Societies of Apostolic Life, Catholic Education, Bishops and the Pontifical Council for the Family and to sit in conclave to elect the current pontiff, is nothing but a colossal slap in the face to the people of Boston, and lends absolutely no credibility to any position the Vatican might spew regarding the sexual abuses propagated by their clergy.

DATELINE: FUCKING THE TAXPAYERS AND GETTING REWARDED FOR IT – This would be Gordon I-Can-Do-What-I-Want-Because-I-Am-King Campbell, former Premier of the province of British Columbia, who had to tuck his tail between his legs and run when the people of the province made it clear they had endured enough of his crap. This was the man who blatantly lied about taxes... not the typical eye-rolling, give them a couple months to forget it, sort of lie. We’re talking saying one thing in a campaign promise WHILE working behind the scenes to be putting the total opposite in place. This was the man who caused an entire province to stand up in protest and take measures to recall every one of his cabinet members because of his lies about the implementation of his Harmonized Sales Tax. This would be the same asshole Gordon Campbell who got the crown-jewel appointment to the diplomatic corps upon his resignation as premier, and now this is the man, the man who deliberately tried to fuck every one of the provincial taxpayers with his HST, his carbon tax and his other measures to tax the living crap out of the rural residences, who is now receiving an Order of BC award, the highest recognition in the province. It’s time for the province to rise up again in order to save the integrity of the award and the credibility of every other person who has ever received this reward. It’s time for us to say, again, that the fuck fest is over.

DATELINE: WHERE THOSE WHO SEXUALLY ABUSE CHILDREN ARE HEROES – Roman Polanski. It is one name that makes my blood pressure shoot up several major notches, especially when the arts community seems to think it appropriate to yet again honor this piece of crap sicko bastard again with a lifetime achievement award. The organizers of the Zurich Film Festival say they are ‘especially proud to welcome’ Polanski so he can receive his award from 2009 – the one he was unable to receive when he was arrested on outstanding warrants for sexually abusing a 13-year old girl. Apparently organizers Karl Spoerri and Nadja Schildknecht are ‘tremendous admirers of his work’. What the hell sort of statement is this for any responsible, remotely moral human being to make? Admirers of his work? For the love of all that is fucking holy, the sick bastard raped and sodomized a child, THEN being the stand-up piece of crap that he is, he ran away to avoid going to prison. What a man! Yes, this is what we honor, because, come on... he’s one of the beautiful fucking people, and who cares about his victims. Talk about a sick fucking society.

DATELINE: IN MALIBU, PAYING MY RESPECTS – Charlie Harper is dead. Yes, the writers of Two and a Half Men killed Charlie’s Sheen’s character off. That’s about all the space I would want to waste on this fucking story... CNN can have it, maybe add it all to the Ridicu-list, where all good artsy fartsy fluff crap belongs.

DAILY NEWS, September 20th, 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Tue, 20 Sep 2011 15:23:00 +0000

DAILY NEWS – September 20, 2011

DATELINE – IN THE LAND OF THE ETERNALLY IRREPARABLY IGNORANT – Yes, that is definitely where I am, exposed to the queen of all things fucking asinine, Michele Bachmann. How the hell can anyone take this insane, raving woman seriously? You think you have problems now with jobs? Hell, put this woman in charge and the last five years will be a fucking cakewalk. I find it hard to grasp that ANY step to decrease the chance of people getting cancer could be spun in a bad way, but this is the shit that happens when religion interferes with politics. They are NOT good bedfellows. It is sort of the equivalent of a donkey and a chicken procreating – anything that comes out of that is gonna be ugly as hell, useless as hell, and make a lot of irritating noise. To raise the issue of HPV vaccines in a political debate, insinuating that it is an invitation for young girls to instantly turn into whores and sluts is not only ignorance at its peak, it is unbelievably irresponsible. To then take that already dumbass notion from the debate and turn it into a public statement to the press that ‘it causes mental retardation’? What the fuck is that!!! Despite ALL evidence to the contrary from every possible aspect of the medical and scientific spectrum, this stupid shit-for-brains bitch stands up and makes this statement to the world, THEN counters it with the proviso, a week later, that she was just repeating what she heard, and that she is not a scientist so we should just shrug and say ‘well, hell, that’s okay then’. We’re talking preventing cancer in young women, for fuck sake. How is this even a debatable issue? If her point was to stress that the vaccine should be voluntary, then make that fucking point, but to make such absolutely wrong statements for the sake of striking some political points in a bullshit debate is reprehensible. The thing is, she is not an economist either, so where does she get her information on setting the economy straight? Who whispered that in her ear as she passed through a crowd? What about her position on foreign affairs? Terrorism? Did she get her information on what NASA should be doing from a fucking Star Trek paperback she picked up at the gas station? Any politician that just spews crap from her lips for the sake of grabbing a headline, or more to the point, causing absolute fucking panic, is not someone who should even for one minute be held with any respect. She has no credibility, and if this is what the Tea Party and the Republicans feel they can present to the world as a potential leader, holy fucking crap, are we in trouble. Michele Bachmann – living proof of the merits of birth control. Michele Bachmann – a terrorists dream for leader of the free world.

DATELINE: IN EUROPE, IN THE ‘YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME’ ROOM – After the last several debacles in the US Congress and their inability to come to agreement on absolutely anything, bringing the economy to a screeching halt and showing absolutely no fucking leadership at all, I cannot believe that anyone associated with the US government has the fucking audacity to go to Europe and demand they get their house in order financially, and get their leaders actually leading. Holy fucking crap! Congress would have a hard time passing a fucking bill on what font to use on the god damned bathroom doors right now, so how is anyone supposed to take them seriously in this case? The arrogance is astounding, and considering who they are speaking to, that is a pretty tall fucking order, but still, there they are, dishing out advice on how to hold off a downgrading or default for countries like Greece, Italy, Spain and Ireland. Yes, this has become a situation where global co-operation is necessary, but the US is in no position to pontificate on the merits of cooperation and negotiation, not on the heels of what has to be the most politically internationally embarrassing show of asshole selfishness and partisan posturing, with absolutely no regard for the consequences or the people FOR WHOM THOSE REPRESENTATIVES WORK, that we have seen in the last forty fucking years.

DATELINE: AT THE CROSSROADS WHERE THE HOLY TRIUMVERATE MEET – No, I am not talking God et all. In this case, that holy triumvirate, those Voldemortian entities that must not be named or discussed are sex, politics and religion, and it comes in the form of the repealing of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. How the hell this policy ever made any fucking sense is beyond me, other than it appeased, again, those narrow-minded fear mongers who love to shout their at-best questionable truths to the media (see the Michele Bachmann tirade above). Finally we have a situation where the government, after MUCH foot dragging and resistance, put religion in its place, got their own asses out of the bedrooms of the nation, and did their fucking jobs. The sad thing is that it took so long to do it. It’s apparently okay to have Oval Office blow jobs, to display your Wiener on the internet and on every fucking television station in the modern world, to sleep with one woman in the bed you would normally share with your wife when she is not in the hospital having cancer treatments, to allow the woman you are boinking to drown in a river because you can’t afford the scandal of being seen with her should she be rescued… need I go on? The list of sexual proclivities in Washington is long and ugly. These good, God-fearing Christians, though, had the unmitigated gall to tilt at men who have sworn an oath to protect their country over themselves, who have trained to put their lives on the line every day with their brothers, and who happen to have a sexual orientation that differs from those expounded by the lawmakers of the land. How dare these stalwart politicians, these upholders of all that is good and moral, allow their intolerance and ignorance to bear down on good, honest men and woman who wear a uniform to serve their country? How dare they still make statements like ‘preserving the sanctity of marriage’ in preventing gay and lesbian marriages? I am sure that the long list of political perverts were thinking nothing about the sanctity of marriage while they boinked their way into the fucking history books. Finally the right has been wronged, but that’s just a first small step. Hopefully they will enforce this ruling properly, allowing these soldiers to do the good work they have undertaken, and will not allow the intolerance and ignorance of those higher up the chain of command to continue to permeate. Gee, look… there are gay soldiers in the US military, just like in every other fucking military. They have been acknowledged, and the walls of the Pentagon did not crumble at the announcement. That job is going to be left for the mismanagement of Congress and the financial political machine in Washington.

FROM THE DRIVERS SEAT

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 14:44:00 +0000

WHILE THE RICH GET RICHER...

I'm back, and I'm plenty pissed off! I get pissed off when I see people hitting kids. I get pissed off when I see teenagers bullying a senior. I get pissed off when politicians sell out to corporations, and I get pissed off when large companies (Amazon.com) sit back and rake in the money KNOWING they are helping to perpetrate theft and fraud. How do I know they know about it? Because I told them what was happening. They don't give a flying crap though, as long as they get their money... lots and lots of money.

I write books (PS... get off yer asses and start buying the fucking things!). My books are both digital and POD by design and desire. I don't want them sitting in warehouses. I don't like when books get the covers ripped off and tossed into a box to be sent back to the publisher. It's sad, it's wasteful and it's wrong. Do you have any fucking idea how much money is spent in just driving the damned things around the continent to sit in a warehouse and get shipped back? They don't fucking fly on their own wings. Each traditionally printed book makes a HUGE carbon footprint -- from the equipment to cut down the trees, to the loss of the trees, transporting them, storing them, boxing them, on down the line. So, when I went to Amazon.com and saw that 'grabmore_us', 'BooKnackrh', 'any_book', and 'brandnewgoodsus' have my books sitting in warehouses all over the continental US, I was plain bloody pissed.

When Writers AMUse Me tried to have these listing removed because none of them in fact, have ANY of my books, I was even more fuckin pissed. Where do these dickheads get off trying to undercut the price so they get the sale AND their huge chunk of the pie... all of it coming from MY fucking pocket. They didn't pay to stock the book. They don't have it in inventory. Most of them don't even have their own fucking websites either... they are Amazon 'stores' so they only appear on the same god damned page that Amazon has for the books, still with their hands out, robbing us with every bloody book they try to sell.

When WAMM contacted each and every one of these 'third party sellers', they asked for copies of the paperwork regarding these books. Let's face it... the POD companies are NOT giving the books to the distributors. Someone has to pay for each and every book when it's printed, and none of those monies have been seen. She pointed out that there was a problem, that the books were POD, that they were NOT sitting in their fuckin warehouses as they claim they are... one even had the fucking audacity to say they had 'crisp new copies' in their possession... lying bastards! When she pointed out that they are at the very least committing fraud by lying to their customers, some argued, some pulled their listings immediately, some did one fucking fine texas two-step around the issue, saying they deal with reputable distributors and they are not infringing on any copyright issue. The simple fact of the matter is they are stealing money from the writers. They are lying to get the sale for something they don't have, never had, never will have, and getting a huge payment for doing so. I would like to thank pbshopus, super_star_seller, and, after MUCH back and forth and other bullshit, Buyve: Buy to Give for removing their bullshit listings from my books, but I know they will just keep doing it to other writers... BECAUSE AMAZON LETS THEM. Amazon is creating a nice little monopoly... they print the books, they convert the digital because of their asinine proprietary Kindle formatting that no one else can have access to, they sell the books, and now they are pulling this crap... all the while putting small sellers out of business and taking more money from the pockets of the writers, and they will keep doing it... BECAUSE WE LET THEM.

BooKnackrh, any_book, grabmore-us, brandnewgoodsus and the rest of these third-party-sellers are committing theft and fraud. Ingram Books helps them, taking their own cut in the process, by including POD books on all their distribution lists, but puts no restrictions on how that information is used. Yes, third-party-sellers have value when they are in markets that amazon.com doesn't reach outside of North America. Yes, they have a place when a book is out of print... but for them to sell current, available new books on Amazon's pages, competing with Amazon for the sale, when they claim to have new books that they don't have, they are doing nothing but committing theft. It's time to shut them down. It's up to their victims... the writers, the publishers, and the readers, to step up to the fucking plate and let them know that even though times are hard and every penny is precious, it is not an excuse to allow predators to sit in wait and steal from others. It is time to stop this game, time to send them directly to jail. they should not pass go, and they should bloody well not be able to collect $200... ever again, at least not while fucking the writers.

DAILY NEWS - July 28th, 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 14:32:00 +0000

DAILY NEWS - July 28th, 2011

DATELINE: OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BOOBS – It’s so hard to pick which one to start with today. I could start with Glenn Beck comparing the victims of the Norway massacre to Hitler Youth because the children were gathered together in a camp to learn about government. God forbid we teach our children about how our governments work, why voting is important, the sacrifices that went into democracy, or the value of freedom of speech, even when that speaking is done by absolutely fucking nuts individuals like Beck. These are, by the way, all things that Hitler did NOT encourage in anyone, including children. Those children in Norway were killed because of hatred, intolerance and ego… issues that Beck seems to grasp exceptionally well, just not in good way. Then there is Ann Coulter, spewing her bullshit about how gayness can be prayed away, using words that more than adequately display her ignorance. Ann, hon, every day I pray you will shut the fuck up, but that still hasn’t worked; I suppose though that could be because I am not as good, pure or Godlike as you seem to think you are. Here is my bitch about all this: Yes, fucking idiots have the right to speak, but when they are given an international soap box from which to spew this hatred, it is nothing but counterproductive. What we need is GOOD logical debate on issues. We desperately need that. We need perspective, we need to be aware of others needs and thoughts and plans and ideas, but when it is buried like a gooseberry in a mountain of cow shit, it gets lost. We don’t need more hate; we need discussion and every time Ann Coulter or Glenn Beck take the stage to preach their bullshit, anything they might have to contribute to the conversation is lost… they are just to fucking stupid to realize that.

DATELINE: SPEAKING OF BOOBS – Amy Winehouse is dead; that is something very sad, very tragic for her family. To be honest, I was not a fan of hers, had not heard of her before her death, probably would not have been a slobbery fan of hers even if I had heard her music, but that is not the point. What truly amazed me, enraged me, in fact, was the comments about her funeral. She was Jewish, and it took no time at all for reports to hit the Ethernet about her untraditional funeral, questioning if, in fact, she should have been allowed that funeral. She had tattoos! Oh my God! She was cremated! It took longer than it should have! I am by no means an expert on Jewish funeral protocol, but I understand the value of tradition, especially to some people and in some faiths. However, the arrangements for a funeral… for any funeral… are something that should not be up for public debate. This is something that the grieving family, the rabbi and their God get to deal with, while considering the wishes of the deceased. Had she not been a public figure, the family would not have to endure the garbage that was debated about her ‘right’ where a funeral is concerned. The one overall precept should be that when a family is grieving, just leave them bloody well alone.

DATELINE: LOOKING AT HIS PICTURE, TRYING TO DRUM UP A MODICUM OF COMPASSION… AND FAILING -- In 1988, Abdelbaset al-Megrahi blew up a plane over Lockerbie, Scotland. 270 people were killed. In 2001, this piece of crap was convicted of his offence and was sentenced to a life-time in jail. In 2009, he was released on ‘compassionate grounds’ – because this asswipe deserved compassion? – and was allowed to return to Libya to die. He had been diagnosed with prostrate caner and was expected to only live another three months. Why he couldn’t live those three months in fucking prison where he belonged is beyond me, but I have no doubt the families and friends of every one of those 270 victims felt like they had been sucker punched in the gut when he was. Now, 23 months later, Abdelbaset al-Megrahi is appearing on television, being honored by his tribe in Tripoli, claiming that his release was a victory against oppression, being touted as the victim of a global conspiracy. His return home was celebrated by that even bigger asswipe Muammar Gaddafi, who as we all know is above reproach and a pillar of the fucking global community. Terrorists do not understand the concept of compassion, they thumb their noses at it, consider it a weakness if it is shown. Terrorists tried in due legal process deserve no compassion… not now, not ever.

DATELINE: IN JAIL, HOPEFULLY WAITING TO BE POACHED -- Victor Gordon: Everyone in Philadelphia, remember that name. Everyone in North America, remember that name. This piece of fetid steaming excrement is worth remembering, and anyone who purchases anything from him should share a jail cell with him for the rest of their lives. Victor Gordon loves ivory. He loves it way more than he loves the law. According to the indictment filed in New York, Victor Gordon arranged for a friend/partner/fellow criminal and asshole to purchase raw ivory from central and west Africa between May 2006 and April 2009. Yes, that is three fucking years of collecting ivory, at a cost of $32,000 to Mr. Gordon. The ivory was ‘procured’, then was carved, stained to disguise it, and smuggled into the US through JFK airport. It was then delivered to Mr. Gordon’s store where he went about his business of selling it all over North America. In April of 2009, hundreds of tusks and carvings were seized. More pieces were seized from Gordon’s customers. In what is described as the largest seizure of ivory in US history, it is estimated that dozens of mature elephants died in order to provide the ton… yes, one ton, of ivory for people to display as dust collectors on their fucking mantles. Mr. Gordon should have to spend the rest of his life with one of those three-foot long carved and died tusks firmly implanted up his ass, after of course, his balls are whacked off and set on a mantle for display. The same should also happen to the ‘customers’ who are either too self-centered to think laws apply to them, or too stupid to be allowed to handle money in large amounts. Without the customers, Gordon would just have been a dickhead. With all those customers greedily gobbling up ivory they had to know was illegal, Gordon ended up a rich dickhead. Either way, the maximum sentence of 20 years in jail is nowhere near enough for this piece of crap.

DATELINE: IN CANADA, GETTING HIGH ON MOTOR OIL – For oil executives, it apparently works. For Janet Goodin, a Minnesota senior on her way to Canada to play bingo and visit her grandchildren? Not so much. You see, Janet, a retired girl scout registrar and the grandmother of twelve, had a jar of motor oil in her car when she crossed the border. She had no criminal record, but she must have had that glint in her eye, because the Canadian Border Service went all ape-shit over her at the sight of it. She explained that it was left over, that she forgot to take it out, but she was quickly informed that ‘No, it tests positive for traces of something’. Traces of something? Give me a fucking break. Because of this astute catch, Goodin was handcuffed and locked up for possession of a drug for the purpose of trafficking and for importing a controlled substance. Those numb-nuts at the border accused her of transporting… wait for it… heroin. After twelve days… TWELVE DAYS!! … they finally told her it was just oil, they had made a mistake, and they let her go, without explanation, without apology, and probably without her damned oil. Thank god she wasn’t carrying any poppy seed muffins on her as well, or she might never have seen the light of day again. They could have done more testing sooner, they could have made a phone call to determine if she just had her oil changed… yes, it’s unusual to keep a jar of oil in your vehicle when it’s not in the original container, unless you only need part of the jug and you didn’t want the rest in the plastic jug with the loose top and the oil drips on the outside that won’t come out of plastic – unusual, probably worth looking into, but sure as hell not grounds to lock a woman away for almost two weeks. Canada’s Border Services: Keeping us safe from heinously dangerous Bingo-playing grannies and engine oil.

DAILY NEWS, July 26th, 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Tue, 26 Jul 2011 16:54:00 +0000

DATELINE: STILL RAISING THE BAR – The Canadian political machine was set on its collective ear yesterday. The new Leader of the Official Opposition, Jack Layton, made the announcement that he is stepping back from his position for a while to deal with a diagnosis of a new cancer. I could talk about his policies that I don’t fully embrace, I could talk about his unbridled energy to lift his NDP party to unprecedented heights, I could commend his strength and determination in overcoming health issues in his recent past, but I won’t. I will instead offer my prayers for him and his family, wishing him a speedy, full recovery. I will also offer a challenge to all his fellow Members of Parliament: Emulate the man. It does not matter what you think of his policies or his political leanings; what matters is that in all circumstances, more than any other politician on the international stage today, Jack Layton was a leader and a gentleman. He never resorted to crawling around in the gutter with the rest of our current palate of colorful poseurs, he has never spent his every waking minute worrying about the next eletion and how to win it, he has never been obsessed with his own 'power'. He always shows a desire to compromise, a belief in the overall betterment of all our lives, a faith and trust in the people he serves, a desire to serve them the best he can. When asked a question, he answers it, something that truly is a rarity in political circles. He does not belittle, talk down, overpower, tromp, bully, ridicule or insult. He fights for what he believes in, and he does it in the most honorable of ways… and he is a lone example of that degree of unfailing class and accomplishment. Oh, that Stephen Harper could learn even one of these traits! Jack Layton's presence will be missed, but I hope that it will be just a temporary absence while he fully recovers his health. It is to be hoped though, that politicians at all levels of government, across this country, across this continent, around the globe will follow the example of Gentleman Jack, and rise to the standard he has set. You would all be so much more effective, efficient and respectable if you do. Jack, feel better soon. We need your balance, your fairness, your honesty back in Parliament.

DATELINE: MEANWHILE, BACK IN THE GUTTER – In what will probably be considered the most childish political performance, last night the world watched in utter fucking amazement as Barack Obama and John Boehner continued their games, this time with dueling press conferences. You probably heard the collective head-banging of everyone watching the unmitigated crap display of ‘I’m right and he’s wrong’ that threatens to smash into the global economy and send it spiraling. As they spoke, the value of the American dollar started to fall as international confidence in these two absolutely unbelievably stupid fucking idiots expanded the borders of their sandbox. That the government, both sides of it, allowed the debt to get to where it is, astounds. Their solutions both include one thing in common; to form committees to look into what is wrong. Sure, spend more money on another committee that no one will listen to anyways, because if the committee has any fucking brains, their solution is going to be to clear away the deadwood that lines both parties political coffers, and to take a huge bloody pin to pop the inflated egos that are holding the nation, the continent, and yes, the world economies hostage. On the good side though, you have to know that China is thrilled with watching this farce play out for all to see, as are the Syrians, the Pakistanis, the Saudis, the Koreans, the Iranians… they have to love the idea that the leaders of the greatest nation on the world are teetering on the edge of the bathtub, a rope of their own making around their necks, their hands so busy pointing and bitch-slapping each other that they can’t life the fucking ropes off before they fall. They are so distracted with proving their own point, with winning this battle, that they have lost sight of absolutely every other fucking issue on the table, and the people, good, honest, hardworking people, are going to pay the price. I never thought it would be possible to say that there could be anything in Washington more self-serving, stupid, distracted and ineffective as George W. Bush. Congratulations, you fucking idiots… you have now proven the point that yes, indeed, there is worse than Dubyah.

DAILY NEWS, Monday, July 25th, 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Bambi) — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 16:41:00 +0000

DATELINE: IN THE WHITE HOUSE, STILL FUCKING THE DOG – Yeah, you know what I mean. Watching the collection of numb-fucking-nuts calling the shots in Washington playing their games, I am reminded of children who will do anything to have their own way, in that totally self-serving sulk they muster up so well, all the while being too young to appreciate yet the greater consequences outside their own benefits. In children, it’s a teaching opportunity. In politicians, it’s nothing more than puke-inducing. They try to sway their party members by explaining about ‘leverage’ to get their shit agreed to. They argue in public, criticize, and whine. They talk, but refuse to listen because nothing can interfere with their opportunity to score political points by being the ‘one’ to broker the agreement that saves the world from economic destruction. There are elections coming up to consider, you know. What the stupid sons of bitches all need to do, every fucking one of them, is get out on the street, drive through a couple of rural and urban areas, through commercial and retail and residential sectors of the country, and SEE the fucking damage they are doing. They have to tout that party line at all cost, though. How about talking bread lines instead? How about looking at the houses falling apart, the businesses boarded up, the equipment standing still? How about looking at the schools that are crumbling, the people who are standing on the street looking for help, the people pounding the pavement every fucking day looking for a job? They want to work, but they can’t because there are no fucking jobs. How about stopping the god damned grandstanding, the all or nothing posturing, the need to pander to the prerequisite political ‘savior psyche’ and just do the fucking job? Ask any housewife what needs to be done, or any small businessman, or anyone with a fucking grade ten education. You don’t have the money to run your household, then you work to raise more money, you work to save money, and you do it in a way that you can manage. The difference with this though, is that the people making the decisions regarding how to make the adjustments are NOT the ones who will have to feel the cuts or do the extra work to meet the demands for more money, so the posturing and playing and spewing of bullshit altruistic unrealistic principles is apparently easy. These elected officials are the ones who are buying the big huge fucking mansion on the hill that is way out of their price range, expecting that the ‘staff’ they already had will be able to manage the maintenance and upkeep. While you overpaid soap-opera-star wannabe’s play the fucking power game, toe the party line and all that good crap, more businesses go broke by the minute, more jobs are lost, more people lose their homes and their savings, meaning they can’t purchase sweet fuck all, including food, so that more jobs will again be lost. You see where the hell I’m going with this? Do you see now that loading up the fucking pork barrel, holding a $1M piece of legislation hostage to get your own personal political points with a $17B price tag does come back to bite everyone in the ass? You’re all fucking guilty of it, of doing nothing more than working 24/7 to ONLY preserve your own fucking power and authority. Well, here’s a news bulletin for you: you are about to be the all supreme power and authority over a destitute clusterfuck, something to be really proud of and brag to your children about. Something has to be done to stop this insanity, so, here is my suggestion to you fucking idiots in DC: Quit playing games, quit posturing, quit pouting, quit stomping your feet, and start acting like reasonable responsible adults who took an oath to work for the betterment of the people you represent. Everyone, and I do mean everyone in the global sense, is still waiting for that to happen. No one can afford to wait for much longer, because as the markets start to respond, we can all see that this is not one where the US goes down alone. It is one where there is no one else to throw a life preserver ring out in the waves to save you, as much as we might want to. Put the partisan crap aside, start to listen and do what you are fucking paid to do, because I have NO doubt while you default and crash into that green ceiling, you will be about the only ones getting paid, the only ones guaranteed of a roof and a meal tomorrow.

DATELINE: SPEAKING OF FUCKING – It seems that even still, those dick heads in the Vatican still cannot pull their heads out of their asses, and put their pricks back in their pants. Under attack for its absolutely undeniably reprehensible handling of sexual abuse and torture issues in Ireland, they reacted by pulling their ambassador from Ireland. *Insert ominous fucking gasp here*. Why did they do this? To prove a point to the Irish government that they don’t like how they are being treated, that they are being held to account for the shit they did. They don’t deny the abuse; they just don’t want to deal with it, be held responsible, own their monumental decades-long fuck-up. Two weeks ago, the Irish government requested a response from the Vatican regarding the allegations of mishandling and covering up what had been done to thousands of people by the church. They demanded an official response to accusations that the Vatican in fact stopped the bishops in Ireland from taking any action or reporting the sexual abuse by priests to the police. The Vatican replied that it will offer that response… ‘at the opportune time’. What the fuck is that!!! At the opportune time? None of their victims were given the option of ‘at the opportune time’. No criminal is given that option. At the opportune time? It seems that the Vatican and its many sick bastard bishops and priests are expert at exploiting the fucking opportune time. When will we start holding these bastards responsible? Get off your asses, people, and let the Pontiff know that the opportune time passes about forty fucking years ago, and now is the time to pay the piper – and their bullshit asswipe useless guidelines for dealing with accusations of sexual assaults as issued last month is not even a fucking baby step in the right direction.