இBananazஇ

இ HIATUS

2012-02-02T13:08:00.013+08:00

Sorry fellow bloggers and dear readers Bananaz is going on hiatus as advised by ma lovely ophthalmologist after the double shot of RED eye pre-CNY has affected Bananaz right eye which posed a challenge to focus too long on the computer screen. Would be out of action for a while as not to stress too much but hopefully can steal some time blog hopping and littering ma peels. Not too sure whether the focusing caused the splitting headaches or the CNY heat. Will need to get a new set of spectacle lens once the red eye is fully recover to go full swing again.

In all honesty, I swear by the moon and the stars in the sky and I swear like the shadow that's by your side, I claim ma innocence that the RED eye was due to allergy and not caused by peeping at gorgeous girls and certainly not 眼紅*yǎn hóng* [eye* red] ie green* with envy that you guys reaped heap$ and ton$ of $$$ from gambling during CNY or receiving fat bonuses. [Aiyayo quite confusing here, who's is color blind?. For jealousy the Chinese uses '*Red' but in English its '*Green']. No wild thoughts pleaze...hehehe ~;).

Have a Great Dragon Year and Happy Chap Goh Meh!

இ Enter the Dragon ~ 恭喜發財

2012-01-23T00:27:00.018+08:00

http://www.glitteryourway.com!

We cannot Drag-on for too long gotta bid goodbye 兔tù-gether to the Rabbit and usher in the Dragon@Jan23, 2012. May the Year of the Dragon breathe fire and passion into everything you do. Wishing You Good Health, Great Wealth, Success, Happiness and in perfect Harmony with the Universe.

福 *fú* ~ meaning happiness | good fortune | good luck | a blessing | bliss. For those celebrating Chinese New Year this word is the most popular besides the dragon in almost every household or shops. You see it everywhere, on angpow packets, paperbags, hampers, lanterns, greeting cards whatnot. They are hanging or pasted on walls or at strategic location as advised by fengshui master. Some people do believe that by placing the word 福 *fú* upside down would bring them good luck as fortune some how will drop in. How true? *Gong*Xi*Fa*Cai*

Addendum: Thanks to Casendra for shedding some light on the inverted 福*fú* as *dào* is a homophone word for either 倒*dào*[invert] or 到*dào*[arrive]. Thus for fortune 福*fú* to arrive which is 福到 *fú dào* the inverted 福*fú* represents a combination of invert/arrive.

இ Oohs and Aahs

2012-01-08T15:13:00.007+08:00

Now Everyone Can Sing! You do not need to know any Chinese or lyrics at all. How about singing this song in your next karaoke session all you need is [..]
a--o,a--o e, a se di, a se do, a se da g3 di g3 do, a se di, a se da g3 do, a--[a yi ya yi yo,] a se di g3 [dai, da g3 dai, da g3 dai, da g3 da g3 di g3 dai, da g3 dai, da g3 do,][..] Not possible? A Yi Ya Yi Yo some are not completely convinced? Bananaz Beleaf It Or Not..Have a go..click on the video clip for the Oohs and Aahs. The lyrics doesn’t mean a thing only “嗯、哦、唉、哟……”. Basically this song tries to mimic by showing faces of a happy person, sad, anger and so on. She is sensational and delivers it superbly.

Imagine a song without lyrics could win her the Best Singing Award of European World Music Awards in 2009. It became a hit on December 1, 2010 during a Grammy Award presentation and remained as the Grammy's best music for three weeks and the song name is 忐忑 pinyin:*tǎntè* meaning "Disturbed or Uneasy". She is a Chinese folk music soprano singer who hails from Guizhou Province. Her name is Gong Linna 龚琳娜, born in Guiyang in 1975, who won the Best Female Singer at China Central Television National Young Singer TV Grand Prix in 2000. It was in 2010 where hundreds of thousands of netizens watched her video clip singing 忐忑*tǎntè* that took China by storm.

呀~屙

呀~哦er

牙線丁牙細東

牙細達街跌格洞

牙細D 牙細達街凍

呀~屙

呀~哦er

牙細丁牙細東

牙細達街跌格洞

牙細D 牙細達街凍

呀呀呀呀呀呀

哎也唷哎也唷

牙細跌格底牙架底牙架底

達架底架跌架底

達架底達架董

底達架底達架底

達架底架跌架底

達架底達架董

哎依也依唷

Some interesting 'discovery' while doing up this post with the two Chinese words. By itself 忐 and 忑 ma favorite companion the MDBG dictionary translated both as 'nervous' but when combined 忐忑 pinyin:*tǎntè* it means "Disturbed or Uneasy".

Noticed the word 忐*tǎn* where it comprises of 'Up上*shàng*' at the top and 'Heart心*xīn*' as the lower word. Now look at 忑*tè* the 'Up' has been replaced with 'Down下*xià*' on top of 'Heart心*xīn*'. So the Ups and Downs inevitably perturbed the Heart resulting a 'disturbed or uneasy' person.

Cutest little 6 year old Chinese girl - on China's Got Talent with her 忐忑 pinyin:*tǎntè*. The pretty judge asked her why she chose a song without lyrics. Little girl replied saying there is except they are 亂七八糟 *luàn qī bā zāo* 'everything in disorder'. Sorry Bananaz not able to translate the full conversation but judging by the faces of laughter with tears you shall get the message, coz actions speak louder than words. Kindly standby your tissue paper after you ROTFL *roll on the floor laughing* when your heart is perturbed.

இ ATM PIN # Reversal

2012-01-05T18:29:00.003+08:00

We progressed over the centuries with the state-of-the-art Internet Technology where information could be transmitted enormously at lightning speed merely by word-of-mouse. Just zooming in at a small portion of internet regarding em@ils where '@' is part and parcel of our mundane life. Emails that are in circulation ranges from A-Z comprises of the good, bad and ugly. Some are informative and some educational however there are bound to attract Big Ghost Head 大鬼頭 pinyin:*dà guǐ tóu* a common ghostly name used among the Chinese community for mischievous leader. They start the mouse rolling sending viral hoax emails as per their whims and fancies around the globe like those hand written chain letters of the past. Gratitude highlighted a few randomly in his last post "It's a sad sad life!" where he ended up perplexed and said ~ "I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery." You are not alone Gratitude, it's indeed a bewilderment if we were to follow all the emails received, we can't eat, drink or sleep in peace.

Recently a nagging email which appeared few years ago re-surfaced again and hope this entry may shed some light and may save lives. Please do not follow the tactic below and put a stop in forwarding, it's a HOAX.

Subject: ATM Pin Number reversal tactic

If you should ever be forced by a robber to withdraw money from an ATM machine, you can notify the police by entering your PIN in reverse. For example, if your pin number is 1234, then you would put in 4321. The ATM system recognizes that your PIN number is backwards from the ATM card you placed in the machine. The machine will still give you the money you requested, but unknown to the robber, the police will be immediately dispatched to the location. [...].

Bananaz have checked with a banker friend whose answer is self explanatory.. "If you key-in your pin numbers wrongly for three times, your ATM card will be 'eaten' by the machine. So what is the difference if you key-in your pin number in reverse". Kindly check it out with snoopes.com as they have confirmed its FALSE in their title "PINned Hopes". The system was patented in 1998 but nothing came of it as it was not viable. Totally agree with this quote by Chuck Stones of the Kansas Bankers Association in 2004 ~ "I'm not sure anyone here could remember their PIN numbers backward with a gun to their head". Another alternative website for checking on hoax is truthorfiction.com.

On a brighter side let's relax, have some fun with this cute ATM machine. Credit goes to the original artist for the great sense of humor. Wonder any bank may wish to buy this brilliant idea to generate more transactions. Anyway guys.. dream on!! (If you have a challenge with the wordings pleaze press 'Ctrl' & '+').

இ SàiWēng shī mǎ 塞翁失馬

2011-12-31T16:24:00.008+08:00

Just one last single lonely sheet of calendar left hanging on the wall for Year 2011 with only a teeny weeny little block to be crossed out before we blast off Year 2012 when the clock strikes at midnight. Reflecting over the months, life on the overall is like a roller coaster ride with ups and downs constantly in a state of flux. Congratz to those who lived life to their fullest meeting your desired achievements and for some not faring too well please do not despair. Every cloud has a silver lining @ 天無絕人之路 tiān wú jué rén zhīlù. Ending 2011 with an idiom hopefully it may strike a chord.

塞翁失馬;焉知非福 pinyin:*SàiWēng shī mǎ; yān zhī fēi fú* Sài Wēng lost his horse, is it [mis]fortune? (Idiom)

There is this old man called SàiWēng 塞翁, staying at the border of the northern frontier of China, who raised horses for a living. Out of the unexpected his prized horse ran away into the nearby mountains. On hearing this bad news, the neighbours came to offer moral support to comfort him. He surprised them by not getting upset at all and said "Perhaps this may turn out to be a good thing". Sure enough a few days later his prized horse return with a wild stallion. Again news spread to the whole village with the neighbours congratulating him. This time SàiWēng replied "Perhaps this may not be such good luck after all" which puzzled the neighbours even more. The very next day his only son was eager to ride on the wild stallion. Unfortunately he was thrown off the horse, hurled a few feet into mid air. That bad landing cost him dearly who suffered a broken leg and restricted his mobility probably for months to recover. The friendly neighbours came again to console SàiWēng, who wisely responded "Perhaps this may turn out to be a good thing". Sure enough few weeks later a warlord came to town enlisting young able men for battle. A blessing in disguise for SàiWēng's son who was of no use to the army with an injured leg. Almost all the young soldiers who fought in the battle field walked the road of no return as chances of survival are slim.

Moral of the story: Life is full of changes and challenges. One has to learn to face and accept losses and not to over react to misfortunes and the same not to be overjoyed by gains or successes. Things happen for a reason. It is not often we are as fit as a fiddle or facing shortfalls meeting our target. 人無千日好, 花無百日紅 *Pinyin: rén wú qiān rì hǎo, huā wú bǎi rì hóng* literally. people no 1000 days good (healthy), flowers no hundred days red. Which means humans do fall sick once in a while within 1000 days and flowers shall not bloom forever over hundred days. Good and bad times do not last long forever. Hope for the best and prepare for the worst ~:~ 明天會更好 @ ~:~ míngtiān huì gènghǎo:: tomorrow will be a better day.

Happy is the man who can endure the highest and lowest fortune. He who has endured such vicissitudes with equanimity has deprived misfortune of its power. ~ Seneca

Seizing this very moment to say THANK YOU to all my readers and for your invaluable and interesting comments. Wishing All A Blessed H:A:P:P:Y N:E:W Y:E:A:R 2012!!!
Orkut Graphics Scraps

இ FELIZ NAVIDAD & HAPPY TWO JILO ONE TWO

2011-12-25T00:02:00.014+08:00

Today is Christmas Day, it coincides with the first day of the Chinese 12th Lunar Month. In 7 days from now we shall be ushering in the New Year 2012 and in a month's time to welcome the 1st day of the 1st Lunar Month in the Year of the Dragon 龍 on 23 Jan 2012. It is the ideal time for giving and receiving with rejoice. Weeweechu a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Two Jilo One Two!

O Holy Night ~ by Rhema Marvanne, an amazing 7 year old girl singer..whoa her sweet voice just blows me away.

O holy night!
The stars are brightly shining
It is the night
Of the dear Savior's birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till He appeared and the soul felt His worth
A thrill of hope
The weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks
A new and glorious morn!
Fall on your knees
Oh hear the angel voices
Oh night divine
Oh night when Christ was born
Oh night divine, oh night, oh night divine

Chains shall He break
For the slave is our brother
And in His name all oppression shall cease
Sweet hymns of joy
In grateful chorus raise we
Let all within us praise His holy name
Christ is the Lord, let ever ever praise Thee
Noël, Noël
Oh night, Oh night divine
Noël, Noël
Oh night, Oh night divine
Noël, Noël
Oh, O holy night

Click on the 'snowflake' icon at the bottom right after you start to play the video for the snow flakes to gently fall accompanying this awesome song and cover your screen background of flurry snowflakes.

இ Scared Die People 嚇死人

2011-12-22T18:05:00.001+08:00

This early beautiful morning heard a 'thud' sound echoing through my window followed with a loud cry by Mango from the kitchen ~ ' 嚇死人' *xià sǐ rén* lit.'scared die people'. In English we do use this phrase "scared to death" its a matter of placing the words. Bear with me for a moment while Bananaz digress with why we are quite sure to say 'die' before an exclamation mark when faced with surprises? Most common, 'Die lah I forgot to turn off the air-con at home' or 'this time sure die one my husband is gonna fly off the handle for damaging his precious car'. Sounds familiar? WhyAskWhy? Sorry no answers this round! Maybe its good to figure it out why, open up our mind to reflect why we subconsciously utter this word 'die' in almost all negativities?

Thanks for your patience let's continue with that loud thud sound. Some fellas have fallen out of bed while jumping sky high guess that's bad parenting with no proper control. If its a human being, no language barrier for Bananaz but the problem is, its a bird. What kind of language to speak to the parents to get a king size bed or build a bigger nest and to tell them off, no jumping on the bed next time? How about 'Chirpy chirpy cheep cheep'?

Yes it was our 'uninvited' guest, this wild bird might have fallen from the nest built some years ago at our laundry area, crashed onto our washing machine, bounced over a couple of feet before landing on the floor. Dashed to the kitchen when Mango asked to kindly rescue that poor bird who was lying with wings all flat out, lucky its still moving. Oh Mamma Mia, on second glance its not only one but two birds locked in each other's wings telling live story of the birds and the bees. Told Mango we better not be cruel to interrupt a loving couple who fell from cloud 9 and now in heavenly kingdom but to grab the camera on the double.

Beak to beak cheek to cheek, they just ignore us like we are transparent..

One of them said "Don't leave any love marks on my neck" [the bird do pecks on the neck haha].

Two loving birds together as one

Both remain still for couple of minutes then got up and up up and away..

இ Hair

2011-12-19T00:54:00.008+08:00

Hairdressing business comes in all shapes and sizes. Just recently Merryn posted her son's first hair cut at 4 years old, sitting comfortably without any tussle while his locks of hair snipped by a hairdresser. They sure have their ways to appease kids to sit still with nice toy cars and pretty smiling faces as opposed to those boring bulky barber's chair those days. SeniorsAloud captured a pixz of a street barber in India operating with merely a chair and one giant size mirror under a tree and he is in business. Autumn Belle posted a recent entry of a barber in action who can handle an A-Z hair style. We have all kinds of barbers, One-man show barber, unisex hair salon with London trained hair stylists etc. Lately there is this franchise hair salon business offering quick haircut, mushrooming all over the country charging around RM13.00 - RM15.00 (ave U$4.60). Are you as fussy as Bananaz who just don't feel good over a bad haircut or you are OK with just any hair dresser will do as long as its to your convenience?

Many may not get to see or hear of this kind of activities and skills in a hair salon anymore in our modern era. Below is Peggy, my client and also my trusted hairdresser for the past decade. Timing was not on my side as there is no traditional 'ear picking' on that day sorry no pixz for that. What the heck is 'ear-picking'? Bananaz has never tried personally before but quite curious and tempted to have a go, but Peggy forewarned me that it could be addictive. MercuryNews.com, quoted a Vietnamese resident "It brings a lot of happiness". He also likened a good ear picking to good sex and fans of ear picking have gleefully talked about 'ear-gasms'. Whoa! Any takers?

source: chineseetymology.org

Peggy then showed me her set of ear pick instrument, traditionally made from bamboo as shown in the bottom pixz. Noticed the upper pixz of a lamp with the shade? That's for shining the light into the ear to scoop the earwax out of the ear canal. The cost for ear picking is RM14.00 (U$4.50) and the haircut is RM12.00 (US3.90) an extra RM1.00 more than my last previous Indian barber.

This hair salon is situated near China Town, Petaling Street, KL and the fate of their business is in the hands of the expansion of the LRT station, right now at a limbo as they are in one of those row of shop houses subject to be demolished. (tQ HappySurfer who added there is no demolishing but to be relocated temporary). An old salon open for men only, mostly senior citizens who are their loyal regulars of more than 2 decades with not much of walk-ins or new customers. Sad to say the occupation of these 6 hairdressers can be considered pretty dim. Firstly it takes time to transfer their skills to their next generation, moreover their young ones are not interested, not lucrative to them. Secondly as the diminishing of their loyal regulars who are either dying off one after another or too old with restrictive mobility going for a haircut dampens their revenue. Eventually this skills of ear picking would be lost and over time would completely die out and no longer in practice. According to Peggy, she is committed to carry on until she drops dead or not nimble with the scissors or her eyes are failing her, then to call it quits.

'Down Puff ' source:Wikipedia

இ Crazy Times..

2011-12-10T17:22:00.004+08:00

While brisk walking around our apartment one beautiful morning with Mango these round circular objects above caught my attention to see them neatly arranged in regimented order. Is there a medical term for a person who has a phobia over direction. A friend's friend will always constantly ask for NESW direction 'where am I now'? So what can we gather from these parabola dish? Thinking..shall give you 1 minute..oh need more time OK how about 60 seconds then.

That's right all of them faced WEST. If you need to know the compass direction when buying a house or apartment the dish would be a good guide as they need to face west for clear video streaming reception until unless Astro upgrade the MEASAT-1 satellite to face South.

Besides having great business acumen is not good enough. One must have creativity and dare to be different to stay ahead. Look at how creative the owner of this shop coming up with this eye-catching banner. Written in Malay "TAUKEH SUDAH GILA! CINCAI CINCAI JUAL!" the direct translation "Bozz Gone CRAZY!, Simply Simply Sell!" The Chinese version '平平賣/卖 píngpíng mài' meaning "Cheap Cheap Sell!" and the bozz claimed to be the Malaysia's No.1 CRAZY! Probably the bozz can see home light at the end of the tunnel.

Two colleagues were having a good belly laugh about receiving a SUV on his 63th birthday from lovely wife. Could not help myself laughing at their hilarious expressions. Incidentally a transcript from BBC Learning English "The combination of a good guffaw and exercise is said to stretch muscles and trigger endorphins - the chemical in the brain known for its feel-good effect." What is so overwhelming to receive that *sport utility vehicle* SUV?

S - socks

U - underwear

V - viagra

[confession: the SUV is a joke but the two blokes are my colleagues, most importantly we share the laughter and be part of the laughter yoga like the saying goes, laughter is the best medicine..~;).]

இ Back To School..

2011-12-02T19:32:00.001+08:00

A Caucasian friend was scratching his head wondering how we Malaysian Chinese speaks English? He may be very surprised to meet someone who speaks impeccable Queen's English with no flaw. Politely he asked Bananaz do we encode our thoughts in Chinese arranged them in proper sequence, decode then speak out in English? Wow never thought it was so complex, maybe Bananaz is exaggerating here by adding salt and vinegar. No longer the case now, but as a kid we do faced that challenge of transferring Chinese data word for word to English. Bananaz neither read English newspapers *none at home only in Chinese but can only browsed at the pictures coz Bananaz can't read Chinese* nor have the habit of reading books during his childhood days therefore you can roughly guess the end result of his grade in English. Dear readers please ~~execute~~ excuse me and bear with my English, it would be even better if you care to point out my mistakes especially my rotten grammer would appreciate it very much.

Unlike my daughter Nikki who scored straight A's in her English through out her primary and secondary school. When during our shopping, she was less than 4 years then, would sit on the floor to read while her old folks take their own sweet time in picking the right choice of dresses. Knowing pretty well she's not allowed to read while Papa Bananaz is driving, she would hang on to that page and flipped it open when we stopped at red traffic light. To save cost would rent books from Noble Book Rental in Carnavon St, Penang where she gets her weekly supply of books. As years go by she just loved reading, even buying books with her own pocket money. Wonder what reading speed she would clocked at to finish J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter within four hours. Phew I take my hat off to her. So bottom line is kindly encourage and support your children to READ! READ! READ! more.

Take a trip down memory lane with Bananaz and back to school with half-past six Enggrish:

இAbout school fees:
Bananaz : Sir no bring come (Hokkien ~ 'boh gia lai')沒帶來 *pinyin* méi dài lái

இTo the lavatory:
Bananaz: Teacher can go pass water? (Hokkien ~ kee pung jio)
Nikki: Can I take a leak?

இBicycle with flat tyre:
Bananaz: My bicycle no wind. (Hokkien ~ kar chia boh hong)

இMine:Yours:Whose:
Bananaz: That red book is mine one, yours one is the black one. This green pen is whose one?

இOthers:Misc:
Bananaz: Why like that one? (Hokkien ~ aun chua aun neh kuan)

Care to add in more Chinglish? The more the merrier.

Note: Hokkien is the dominating dialect in the Northern Region though Bananaz's mother tongue is Hakka.

We often hear this phrase or seen Bing Crosby's show about "Kids say the darndest things", kids could also DO crazy damnedest things.

இ No School

2011-11-27T18:17:00.001+08:00

That's right when as a kid we often say this 'Tomorrow No School' on any public holidays or term holidays. Hope we are not the proximate cause of heart attacks for our English teachers then, perhaps Suituapui got to thank his lucky stars for not having this bunch of students like us in his English class.

It has been a week since schools nationwide in Malaysia are closed for the annual 7 weeks final term holiday. What a temporary relief as the number of road hogs within the premises of schools and highways during peak hours are at a minimal, thus a smooth flow of traffic. HappySurfer blogged about school is out where her colleagues are clocking in early at work with better mood. Also a tremendous relief for parents who need not have to get up extra early clutching the steering wheel in anxieties, braving traffic jams sending their children to school. Those who shuttles back and forth daily to office by car would have some relaxation on their brake pedal, well at least until schools reopen next year.

Not sure about the rest, Bananaz had mixed feeling during his child hood school holidays. Jubilant over a few weeks break but some how over shadowed by sadness of being broke, no school equals no money! Back in the 60's, my 30sen pocket money were given by Papa from Mon-Fri only, weekends and holidays makan sendiri *eat your own*. So 10sen for a packet of take away economy noodles bought early in the morning while on the way to school to be eaten at recess time. How nice by then the noodles had doubled its size because of the curry gravy and the balance of money after drinks would straight go into my porcelain rooster money box supposedly for emergency use only and that emergency is everyday during the school holidays lolz. Wonder how much pocket money are the kids receiving from their parents nowadays? Wanna share some of your experience?

Most Chinese character derived its words from pictorial drawings and over the years the word 'car ' from a pictogram of a cart/chariot gradually transformed to car 車 *pinyin* [chē]. Enjoy the video clip to learn more on the illustration of the strokes and pronunciation. The simplified version is 车.

A car車 is no longer a luxury any more but a necessity which is a must for every household. Anyway, Bananaz would make an exception for [SK] & SeniorsAloud who travel by other means of transport which is their preference. Human beings are strange creatures..they send their car on the dot for preventive maintenance when it reaches every 5000km on the odometer, replacing spark plugs, oil filter and engine oil etc. True enough a car is paramount but how many would make it a point to go for medical check once a year which is just as important? Well, when was the last time you have taken your battered body for a blood screening test or a dentist check up? Do you know your latest BP rate and cholesterol level? Would like to reiterate here, many are falling into this pitfall of chasing wealth when young at the expense of health but when older to spend wealth chasing back health. Just a friendly reminder please go for a full medical check up NOW ~ Just Do It!

OK relax since tomorrow no school and no office, its a public holiday, let's have some fun with numbers. This is very freakishly accurate to find out..your role model.

WHO IS YOUR ROLE MODEL???
Try it without looking at answers below (plz don't cheat)
1) Pick your favourite number between 1-9
2) Multiply by 3 then
3) Add 3, then again multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the calculator....)
4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number
5) Add the digits together into a single digit

Now with that number scroll down do a match to see who is your ROLE MODEL from the list below:

ROLE MODEL:
1. Albert Einstein
2. Barack Obama
3. Mother Teresa
4. Martin Luther King Jr
5. Bill Gates
6. Mahatma Gandhi
7. Brad Pitt
8. Warren Buffet
9. Bananazஇ
10. Margaret Thatcher

I know, I know....I just have that special effect on people to go bananas ....one day you too can be like me...~;). Beleaf me! Whoa! Stop changing different numbers becoz I am still your favorite role model, just deal with it. Muahahaha!!!!
Bananaz giving credit to the original joker & tQ to LeeBC for getting me trapped.

இ Years To Live¿

2011-11-20T13:01:00.001+08:00

G~d created the mule, and told him, "You will be mule, working constantly from dusk to dawn, carrying heavy loads on your back. You will eat grass and you lack intelligence. You will live for 40 years."

The mule answered, "To live like this for 40 years is too much. Please, give me no more than 20." And it was so.

Then G~d created the dog, and told him, "You are dog and will hold vigilance over the dwellings of Man, to whom you will be his greatest companion and man's best friend. You will eat his table scraps and live for 30 years."

And the dog responded, "Lord, to live 30 years as a dog is too much. Please, take in mercy 15 years off my life." And it was so.

G~d then created the monkey, and told him, "You are monkey. You shall swing from tree to tree, acting like a clown. You will be funny, and you shall live for 20 Years."

And the monkey responded, "Lord, to live 20 years as the clown of the world is too much. Please, Lord, take off I pray for 10 years." And it was so.

Finally, G~d created Man and told him, "You are Man, the only rational being that walks the earth. You will use your intelligence to have mastery over the creatures of the world. The power of thought and judgment shall be yours, and the capacity of disclosing your innermost thoughts by means of speech. You will dominate the earth and your life shall be 25 years." And the man responded, "What is the good of living in pleasure and in might, if all the years of my life are to be 25 is too little. Please, Lord, give me the 20 years the mule refused, the 15 years the dog refused, and the 10 years the monkey rejected." And the Lord granted his wishes.

So G~d made Man to live 25 years as a king and ruler over all creatures for the twenty five years which the Lord had given to him, in joy and in happiness, without care and without trouble until 25 years later..assing & working pretty hard for the money, barely surviving with all the back stabbing, woofing to keep the wealth protected & finally clowning with grand children¿. We hear fantasies from people wishing to be different and to be free of which eagle seems to be the most popular choice. A familiar popular El Condor Pasa says it all with "I rather be a sparrow than a snail..". Even 古巨基 Leo Ko in his song 愛與誠 wants be a cat or a dog than to be a lover. The singer desperately needs "love potion number 9"

"God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well" ~ Voltaire.

BAD JOKE DISCLAIMER: Bananaz recognizes that religious humor can be risky. It is my hope that by laughing at ourselves (and others) we can make this subject more approachable. If you find any of these objectionable, gross or irreverent I truly apologize. As with most jokes, the original authors are unknown - but we thank them.

A new trend has EXPLODED in China’s upper class where people are transforming their pets into miniature versions of animals, fairy’s or just dying them crazy colours but Pandas seem to be a big hit and obviously their favourite. It’s becoming a huge industry and people are spending thousands of dollar$ in professional hair dye, salon cuts, clothing, accessories and whatnot to achieve their desired 'animal' to their liking.

Its ain't easy even to be a dog, think again if you rather be a dog, though they are pretty cute. Received these pixz from daughter Nikki and the source unknown.

20112011

இ To Hear, Or Not To Hear

2011-11-07T20:30:00.002+08:00

"If I could have only one of my senses then I would choose hearing, Then I wouldn't feel so all alone." ~ Helen Keller

"One third of our life is spent with our eyes closed, because we are asleep. An estimated twenty years. Yet in any second of those twenty years our ears can command our eyes to open and search for the source of a sound. When our eyes are open our ears can hear through walls, and all around where our eyes cannot see and still command our eyes to search for the source of sounds." ~ Jim S. Davis II, BC-HIS, ACA.

So now how important is your hearing? Have it checked.

Any sound above 85 dB (decibel) can cause hearing loss, and the loss is related both to the power of the sound as well as the length of exposure. You know that you are listening to an 85-dB sound if you have to raise your voice to be heard by somebody else. Eight hours of 90-dB sound can cause damage to your ears; any exposure to 140-dB sound causes immediate damage (and causes actual pain). More info HERE.

TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine beautiful day.

One remarked to the other, “Windy, isn't it?”

“No,” the second man replied, “it's Thursday.”

And the third man chimed in, “So am I. Let's have a beer.”

Chinese Idiom: 掩耳盗铃*pinyin:yǎn ěr dào líng [lit. Cover Ear Steal Bell]

掩 : yǎn *cover* | 耳 : ěr *ear* | 盗 : dào *steal* | 铃 : líng *bell*

A thief sneaked into the house of Fan at night and saw a huge bronze bell hanging in the front yard. Since bronze could fetch him a good price, without hesitation decided to take it back home. However he faced a stiff problem as it was too heavy to be carried away. He then thought of another idea if he could break the bell into pieces that would solved all his transportation problem. With a first strike of his hammer it gave out a loud deafening bang which caught the thief by surprise and shook him terribly by covering his ears with both hands. At this instance he exclaimed "Aha the sound of the bell can not be heard when the ears are covered." He ripped off part of his clothes and scrolled them into two earplugs and stuffed into his ears. Through out the hammering in the middle of the night the banging noise of the bell woke up all the neighbours and he was caught red handed. The foolish man did not know that the only one who could not hear the sound of the bell was himself.

Image courtesy of Baidu

This idiom 掩耳盗铃*pinyin:yǎn ěr dào líng* [To plug one's ears when stealing the bell] is used to satirize those who think they are smart but only deceive themselves. This applies to someone who does bad things and buries his head in the sand trying to pull a fast one in telling the world he is innocent.

"You have to hear what you don't want to hear, to know what you don't want to hear" ~ Dr. Gustav Mueller

ക WhyAskWhy¿ (12) 油炸鬼 Oil-fried Devil

2011-10-23T22:42:00.000+08:00

source:Wikipedia

Nope! Bananaz not blogging about food better to leave it to the foodie experts. Been eating the Chinese cruller 油炸鬼 *pinyin:yóu zhá guǐ* 'Oil-fried Devil' better known in proper Mandarin as 油條 *pinyin:yóutiáo* since a kid which is made of dough, deep fried to golden-brown and usually a popular food eaten for breakfast. After all these years of munching the Chinese crullers, the devilish name 油炸鬼*pinyin:yóu zhá guǐ* 'Oil-fried Devil' did not strike Bananaz's WhyAskWhy until lately after his nephew shared the story which started the wok frying to go into further details and research of how on earth which and what devil got deep fried in the oil?

By mentioning the name Yuè Fēi 岳飛, (AD1103 – 1142) two sets of distinctive four Chinese words would trigger the mind for those who had known Chinese history. Yes it's 十二金牌 and 盡忠報國. The first set was an order by Emperor Gaozong高宗 who was under the evil influence of his official issued the 十二金牌*pinyin:shí'èr jīn pái* Twelve Golden Medallions to recall Yuè Fēi to return to the capital fearing he could be too powerful after he has led his army to recover most of the lost territory and the latter set is the four Chinese characters 盡忠報國*pinyin:jìn zhōng bào guó* which was tatooed across Yuè Fēi's back by his beloved mother meaning to serve and protect the country with utmost loyalty. What could be the relationship between a military General Yuè Fēi, an icon of patriotism and national hero in Chinese culture and the evil Oil-Fried Devil?

That's how the medallion roughly looks like. Pixz taken from the movie by Shaw Brothers "Twelve Golden Medallions"

The story goes back to the Song Dynasty's Prime Minister Qin Hui or Guì 秦檜 and his wife, Lady Wang王氏 conspired with two of his subordinates, Moqi Xie万俟軼 and Zhang Jun 張俊, who successfully framed and caused the death of the innocent military General Yuè Fēi. According to folklore, the people of Hangzhou became extremely angry, hating Qin Hu and his wife to the bone protested by making the cruller depicting Qin Hui秦檜 and his wife with one roll representing the husband and the other the wife joining together and fried them in oil calling out loudly the name 油炸檜 *pinyin:yóu zhá huì* 'Oil-fried Hui'. As 檜Hui and 鬼Gui were conflated with its homophone eventually 油炸檜 *pinyin:yóu zhá huì* 'Oil-fried Hui' evolved to 油炸鬼*pinyin:yóu zhá guǐ* 'Oil-fried Devil' and even until today. In Cantonese-speaking areas it is known as yàu cha gwái *油炸鬼* where '鬼' *gwái* also refers to devil or ghost. Truth or Myth? Bananaz's Beleaf It Or Not!

(Kindly take note the actual Oil-fried Devil is after 0.19mins the earlier ones are called 'mah geok' meaning horse legs. tQ to Autumn Belle for the info.)

For their treacherous part that caused the death of Yuè Fēi 岳飛, the most famous patriot, martyr and hero in Chinese history, iron statues of Qin Hui, Lady Wang, and two of Qin Hui's subordinates, Moqi Xie and Zhang Jun, were made to kneel before Yuè Fēi's tomb (located by Hangzhou's West Lake). For centuries, these statues have been cursed, spat and urinated upon by young and old. However in modern times, these statues are protected as historical relics. As one enters the gateposts of Yuè Fēi's mausoleum there is a poem which reads: "The green hill is fortunate to be the burial ground of a loyal general, the white iron was innocent to be cast into the statues of traitors."

Iron statues of the Qin Hui, Lady Wang, Moqi Xie & Zhang Jun with General Yuè Fēi in the middle, source:Wikipedia

இ Don't Mess With Retired Husband

2011-10-06T00:59:00.005+08:00

This is a special dedication to all retired husbands. When you have all the time in the world your darling bozz at home would insist you tag along to go shopping with her. Received this email hot from the oven from a buddy, Dale Borrott and thought we all, young and retired should laugh 兔tù~gether. Would sincerely thank the original unknown author or Mr Harris himself for his witty thoughts who probably could have tried the pranks and got banned. You may share the stunts you might wanna try or have tried while you are bored shopping with your wife in your comments and how you get off the hook. At this juncture Bananaz just thought of somebody who is none other than our Uncle Lee who caused a havoc when he released snakes and crabs in cinema when he was a kid, surely he must have lots of clever tricks up his sleeve. Here you go sit on tightly to your chair.

"Retired Husband"
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

Dear Mrs. Harris ,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris , are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 02: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 07: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 04: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 04: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 03: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 06: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?

And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

One of the clerks passed out.

ക WhyAskWhy¿ (11) ~ Weird Name

2011-09-25T23:36:00.007+08:00

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appears. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle. He said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true." The French wanted to start. He run towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so happy swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian`s turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT !!!!!!!........." And It Turned Out To Be S%#T!! [this is from an email I received long ago thanks to the author for a good laugh].

Better be careful what we gonna say especially when someone flies off the handle! How about replacing it with 'shoot' sounds nicer? Sorry this post would be slightly 'dirty' as Wikipedia says ~ "Shit is usually considered vulgar and profane in Modern English..[..]. It may also be used as an expression of annoyance, surprise, or anger, and has other usages as well." When I was a little boy Bananaz has been eating a fruit with its weirdest name almost everyday fresh from the tree top. Ma Mama told Bananaz the name of this fruit in Hakka is *gai si gwo* literally means 'Chicken Shit Fruit'. Being the young niave Bananaz thought Mama made it up coz our chicken coop & shed is just nearby the tree. Little did I know its the actual slang name used by our locals. As we often say *jambu/pak kia* for guava in Hokkien in our village didn't realise it, not until in my later years that ma Mama told the truth *sorry Mama*. Oh what a fruit name? 'Chicken Shit Fruit' is the same in Cantonese/Hakka dialects *gai si gwo* which the formal name in Mandarin 番石榴 *fān shí liu* and in Malay its Jambu Batu and Tamil is கொய்யா 'koiyaa' . Bananaz is not fruitful finding the answer on the origin of this weird name. Hope to see light at end of tunnel with answers or clues from dearest readers.

(Left: seedless@RM5.00 per kg.) [ GUAVA ] (Right: with seeds@RM2.50 per kg.)

Guavas are plants in the myrtle family (Myrtaceae) genus Psidium (meaning "pomegranate" in Latin), which contains about 100 species of tropical shrubs and small trees. They are native to Mexico, Central America, and northern South America. Guavas are now cultivated andnaturalized throughout the tropics and subtropics in Southeast Asia, Hawaii, the Caribbean, Florida and Africa. [Wikipedia]

Question : What is the difference between seedless guava and seeded guava, pick your preference?

iBananaz : Seedless guava no got seed and seeded guava got many many seedses like twinkle twinkle little starses can count one. I lupp seedless.

Mango : Seedless guava is 'artificial' and seeded guava is natural and original. My choice is 'with seeds'.

Warren Buffett : Value! Value! Value! Price should be less than 2/3 of intrinsic worth. Buy Limit Order or Better @RM2.50 'seeded'.

Isaac Newton : While sitting on a tree branch 10.0 m above the ground, you drop both seedless guava and seeded guava together. Pick the one that hit the ground first.

Albert Einstein : E=MC² ; E≠GS² Guava with Seeds².

Why did the chicken cross the road? : To shit on the Chicken Shit Fruits.

Steve Jobs : What is the difference between iPhone5 and iPad3? No iSee. Retired now in iCloud!

Bill Gates : Ctrl Alt Del, *Hang* Chicken shit all over screen!

An Addendum: Here's a very close answer posted by Autumn Belle on how the guava fruit got its 'chicken chit' slang name in our local dialects..

Autumn Belle said...
I remember back in the kampung, it is common to grow see a guava tree with small fruits (the size of a ping-pong ball), unlike the commercial ones which have large fruits. We will eat the fruit when it is ripe and it is very sweet. When an overripe yellow fruit drop to the ground in accordance to Newton's law of gravity, the fruit will make a splat and break open. The centre portion with the seeds do look like chicken droppings. I guess it could be this reason. I bet nowadays not many people have seen such homegrown guava fruit, neither have they seen 'fresh' chicken droppings! Have you eaten a yellow skined guava?

As for seedless fruits, as I know, if the flowers are not successfully pollinated, there will be no fruits or fruits with no seeds, eg. pineapple, banana. No sexual reproduction, hence no babies, haha.

இ Life Begins at 60

2011-09-18T22:36:00.000+08:00

A buddy sent a thought-provoking birthday wish regarding 'Life begins at 60' which Bananaz wish to share some points here. NOT that I consider anyone of you old. What were you like 20 years ago? What will you be like 20 years from now? Have you ever ponder on your eating and drinking habits? In early 20's we were eating roti canai, burgers and pizzas and as usual so kiasu by proving our virility downing beer faster than any of our buddies. At 40 our fast food speed slowed down, drinking Jack Daniel's on a gradual switch over to Chardonnay. At 60 we may be eating bran flakes and drinking prune juice, occasionally sipping Chinese tea to decrease abdominal fat. Many people feel unhappy, health-wise and security-wise, after 60 years of age owing to the diminishing importance given to them and their opinion. But it need not be so, if only we understand the basic principles of life and follow them scrupulously.

"Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional." ~ Chili Davis

We have 3 ~~Stupid~~ stages of life.....
Teen Age: Have Time + Energy …but No Money;
Working Age: Have Money + Energy …but No Time;
Old Age: Have Time + Money …but no Energy.

Money is important: Money is essential for meeting the basic necessities of life, keeping good health and earning family respect and security. Don't spend beyond your means even for your children. You have lived for them all through and it is time you enjoyed a harmonious life with your spouse. If your children are grateful and they take care of you, you are blessed and take it as a bonus. But never take it for granted. Plan now for a healthy and wealthy retirement before its too late.

"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle." ~ Bob Hope

一寸光陰一寸金，寸金難買寸光陰 *yī cùn guāng yīn yī cùn jīn, cùn jīn nán mǎi cùn guāng yīn*. literally means An inch of time an inch of gold, an inch of gold can't buy an inch of time (idiom). Time is precious and must be treasured. It is almost like holding a horse's reins. When they are in your hands, you can control them. Imagine that everyday you are born again. Yesterday is a cancelled cheque. Tomorrow is a promissory note. Today is ready cash — use it profitably.

"You can't turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again." ~ Bonnie Prudden.

Health is wealth: If you really love your kith and kin, taking care of your health should be your priority. Thus, you will not be a burden to them. Have an annual health check-up and take the prescribed medicines regularly. Do take up health insurance cover (sorry Bananaz not selling any insurance here). When young you neglected health to spend them chasing wealth and in later years you spend all wealth chasing back health.

"I'm not 40, I'm eighteen with 22 years experience." ~ Author Unknown.

To those of us who are already there but young at heart and to those who will soon be there, slowly and surely, NEVER say ‘I am aged '. There are three ages, chronological, biological, and psychological. The first is calculated based on our date of birth; the second is determined by the health conditions and the third is how old you feel you are. While we don't have control over the first, we can take care of our health with good diet, exercise and a cheerful attitude. A positive attitude and optimistic thinking can reverse the third age. Live this moment.

"You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old." ~ George Burns

Forget and forgive: Don't be bothered too much about others' mistakes. We are not spiritual enough to show our other cheek when we are slapped in one. But for the sake of our own health and happiness, let us forgive and forget them. Otherwise, we will be only increasing our BP. I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging. So...Work like you don't need money; Love like you've never been hurt; Dance like no one's watching and probably can Hear.. Bananaz sing The Beatles greatest hit When I'm Sexty Four years later.

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter". ~ Mark Twain.

Overcome the fear of death: We all know that one day we have to leave this world. Still we are afraid of death. We think that our spouse and children will be unable to withstand our loss. But the truth is no one is going to die for you; they may be depressed for some time. Time heals everything and they will carry on. Time to put your affairs in order.

"They talk about the economy this year. Hey, my hairline is in recession, my waistline is in inflation. Altogether, I'm in a depression." ~ Rick Majerus

Everything has a purpose: Take life as it comes. Accept yourself as you are and also accept others for what they are. Everybody is unique and right in his own way. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. You can't remember who posted this entry over time. Stop worrying about the three little haunting 'F' words “friction, fatigue and frustration" of having creaky bones, limited motion, poor eyesight and faint hearing or shudders with fear regarding A.A.A.D.D. Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

"Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty". ~ Henry Ford

An excerpt from Wikipedia ~ "Differences are sometimes made between populations of elderly people. Divisions are sometimes made between the young old (65–74), the middle old (75–84) and the oldest old (85+). However, problematic in this is that chronological age does not correlate perfectly with functional age, i.e. two people may be of the same age, but differ in their mental and physical capacities". Wine improves with age. The older I get, the better I like it. 薑還是老的辣 *jiāng hái shì lǎo delà* literally means old ginger is hotter than young ginger / experience counts (idiom). Authorities in the former Soviet republic of Georgia claim a woman, Antisa Khvichava from a remote mountain village turned 130, making her the oldest person on Earth.

"Old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read." ~ Quoted by Francis Bacon, Apothegm

EYE TEST for those over 40 ONLY...

Bananaz did see sheep...at first. Then I looked closer to see if I recognized anyone!

இ 9/11 Remembered 九一一難忘 jiǔ yī yī nánwàng

2011-09-11T00:11:00.000+08:00

Today is the 10th Anniversary of 9/11 the day the whole world watched in shock and horror over the monumental and devastating event in history on the soil of the greatest country on earth, America. Where were you on Sept 11 2001 and what do you remember? Bananaz was driving home when a friend called relating the event he saw on the news. When I got home the news were repeatedly on air and all I can remember was just like watching an old movie 'The Towering Inferno' on TV. Those who used to celebrate their birthdays the so called " 911s'" will never be the same any more as they have mixed feelings about 9/11. After New York 9/11.. this message was circulated, a good reminder for all even after all these 3651 days to be constantly reminded of the little things..

Image courtesy of www.history.com (click pix for wallpaper size)

~The ' L I T T L E ' Things~

As you might remember, the head of a company survived 9/11 because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her alarm clock didn't go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike because of an auto accident.

One of them missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take time to change.

One's car wouldn't start.

One couldn't get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man, who put on a new pair of shoes that morning, took the various means to get to work but before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot. He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today..

Now when I am stuck in traffic, miss an elevator, turn back to answer a ringing telephone...all the little things that annoy me. I think to myself, this is exactly where G~d wants me to be at this very moment.. Next time your morning seems to be going wrong, the children are slow getting dressed, you can't seem to find the car keys, you hit every red light, don't get mad or frustrated; it may be just that G~d is at work watching over you. May G~d continue to bless you with all those annoying little things and may you remember their possible purpose. [Author unknown].

Do you believe this "Things Happen For A Reason" can this be a proof? Sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair? Do you think it is a coincidence, pure luck and a fluke or karma?

Image courtesy of www.history.com (click pix for wallpaper size or the link for details on the rebuilding of 1 WTC, the tallest building in USA and the reason why at 1776 feet.)

இ What Make$ The World Go 'Round¿

2011-09-01T00:50:00.003+08:00

Great long holidays enabling Bananaz to search for one particular email one by one, month by month at the same time spring cleaning up my inbox of over 17,000 emails. Managed to sweep some under the carpet, some diverted to other email accounts and some headed straight into Mr Recycle Bin. Ever wonder what happened to all the bytes emptied from the recycle bin? They cannot just vapourised into thin air? Could they be lurking around every corner of the key board or hard disk eavesdropping or phishing for information? Appreciate it if anyone has an answer to throw in some light where had all the bytes gone to after leaving the recycle bin? Two days of hard work searching for this email, tQ to Steven Lee here is the story *bear with me if you have heard about it*:

A young unmarried girl discovers that she is pregnant.
Scared..she confides this 'news' to her mother.

Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says,
"Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"
The father added "wait till I get my hands on this idiot I'm gonna break his bones"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later a Ferrari stops in front of their house; a mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in a very expensive suit steps out of it and enters the house.

Image courtesy of www.ferrari.com (the new 458 Spider)

He sits in the living room with the father, the mother and the girl, and tells them:

"Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the 'Problem'.

However, I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take full responsibility.

If a girl is born I will bequeath her 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach villa and a $1,000,000 bank account.

If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $2,000,000 bank account.

If it is twins, a factory and $1,000,000 each.

However, if there is a miscarriage or unsuccessful delivery, what do you suggest I do?"

At this point, the girl's father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and..[...]

~pause~

Are you thinking of what I was thinking, the worst ever bloodshed coupled with breaking of bones?

Make a wild guess; to continue.. : Click Here Exit

இ Cover your ass

2011-08-25T13:52:00.014+08:00

Some would have known this stale story received from email and special thanks to the original author of an old donkey who accidentally fell into an old well but the farmer did not try his level best to retrieve the donkey and given up hope easily and decided that the animal was old so might as well buried it. Firstly as not to see it suffer so much and secondly closing up the well would prevent future accidents. To the farmer's surprise each time he shovel in the dirt the donkey would shake it off and take a step up and pretty soon, the donkey managed to step up over the edge of the well and escaped death!

For full donkey story : Click Here Exit

****

When life is going to shovel dirt, all kinds of dirt on you, the trick to get out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a stepping stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a bold step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

Live simply and appreciate what you have. Count your blessings and remember nothing is perfect. Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys.

Give more and expect the least.

Expect change. Do not be upset with change, it is inevitable, it is the norm; kids will grow up, people will pass on and jobs will come and go.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi.

NOW .......

Enough of that crap! The donkey later came back, and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

****

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

In almost all corporations when you do something wrong and try to Cover Your Ass ~ *CYA* it always comes back to bite you sooner or later. Are you aware that donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks? (So watch your ass)..Bananaz Beleaf It Or Not ¿

இ Day No Talk People..

2011-08-19T22:03:00.005+08:00

The other day Hayley posted 'You kiasu I kiasi' then next would come 'kiabor' 'lit. afraid of wife aka henpecked husband. Maybe posting kiabor can wait prefer to post about the hottest topic of this lunar 7th month which would be over pretty soon. Another kia-ism linking with the hungry ghost month regarding 'kiakui' (Hokkien), afraid of ghost. Will the real Ghostbuster please stand up! Pleasant words like 'unseen beings' or 好兄弟 pinyin: hao xiongdi "good brothers" are replacement for ~ ghost. Ironically old folks have been warning us not to mention ghost but instead we say it even more, almost every where day or night. How is that? Unconsciously the word slipped through our lips automatically and we are not aware of it. For this particular post Bananz would be using Cantonese in the Chinese character for expression of the common spoken conversation.

日頭唔好講人,夜晚唔好講鬼 jat6 tau4* m4 hou2 gong2 jan4, je6 maan5 m4 hou2 gong2 gwai2. Lit. Day no talk people night no talk ghost which is equivalent to our English's 'speak of the devil' but seems like nothing can stop us talking about it..

1. 呃鬼食豆腐咩 *ak1 gwai2 sik6 dau6 fu6 meh1* ~ cheat ghost eat tofu. [are you kidding me?]

2. 老友鬼鬼 *lou5 yau5 gwai2 gwai2* ~ old friend ghost ghost. [buddies/old friends or pal].

3. 鬼死咁亂 *gwai2 sei2 gam3 lyun6* ~ ghost die so messy [extremely messy].

4. 好鬼麻煩 * hou2 gwai2 maa4 faan4* ~ good ghost trouble [troublesome].

5. 無鬼用 *mou5 gwai2 jung6* ~ no ghost use [good for nothing].

6. 咁鬼醜樣 gam3 gwai2 cau2 joeng6 ~ so ghost ugly [very ugly].

7.心中有鬼 *sam1 zung1 yau5 gwai2* ~ heart center got ghost [guilty conscience].

8. 搞乜鬼 *gaau2 mat1 gwai2* ~ play what ghost? [what the heck you are doing?].

9. 有錢能使鬼推磨 *yau5 cin4 nang4 sai2 gwai2 teoi1 mo6* ~ got money can make ghost turn millstones [you can do wonders with money].

Now how are we supposed to zip up and seal our lips not to say 'ghost', ghostly impossible huh. There are more but only stick with what Bananaz are familiar with else it will be 鬼咁長 *gwai2 gam3 zoeng2* ghost so long and never ending. Taken a bolder step by posting this entry without consulting ma soulmate Mango on the correct Chinese characters. Appreciate if you could highlight to me if something is not right. Not to worry rest assured Bananaz is not a 小氣鬼 *siu2 hei3 gwai2* small gas ghost [narrow minded] and certainly welcome any suggestions. Care to add more 'ghosts' to share in your comments.

ക WhyAskWhy¿ (10) ~ DimSum 點心 & Finger Tapping

2011-08-08T23:24:00.005+08:00

The saying goes "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach" or rather "The shortest road to a man's heart is down the 3 inches throat?" Which ever way it would find the way to touch the heart thus the Chinese word *點心* DimSum [Cantonese] or Diǎn Xin [PinYin] which loosely translated to "touch d'heart". DimSum originated with the Cantonese in Southern China. Dumplings, delicate rolls and tiny balls which were filled with finely chopped vegetables, meat or fish, steamed in xiaolong, a little round bamboo basket.

Image courtesy of Wikipedia

Majority would usually love to drink Chinese tea with DimSum however the younger generation would prefer coke or icy cold soft drinks. Ever noticed during a yum cha 飲茶, drinking tea in any Chinese restaurant it is customary to pour tea for others during dim sum before filling one's own cup? A custom unique to the Chinese is to thank the person pouring the tea by tapping with one, two or three fingers on the table. Why*Ask*Why how this fingers tapping on the table started?

Emperor Qianlong (1711 -1799) Image courtesy of Wikipedia

According to legend it traced back to Emperor Qianlong (1711-1799) 乾隆帝; *Qiánlóngdì* of the Qing Dynasty, reigned the country for sixty years from 1735 who was a passionate poet and essayist. Due to his strong passion towards massive art collection, it has propelled him to travel incognito throughout the country with his landscape paintings to compare them with the actual landscapes. Emperor Qianlong was the most famous in Chinese history for his wénwǔ *文武*, civil and military ability. Further more he has the world's most sensitive taste buds who enjoyed an abundance of exotic delicacies during his travel which also acclaimed him the most renowned traveller of 'The six Southern and four Eastern tour'.

It was at one teahouse Emperor Qianlong was particularly fascinated by the way people were able to pour tea without spilling a drop. The Emperor decided to have a go to try out pouring for his companions. However his actions would constitute a breach of protocol for allowing his companions not to bow before him. If they bow in public his secret identity as a commoner would be exposed. The Emperor established a "bow" with their three fingers each time he refilled their cup - two fingers represented the prostrate arms and the middle finger the bowed head. His first try was a blunder spilling tea all over the table. Constant practice makes perfect eventually the Emperor succeeded without spilling a single drop. So happy tapping when someone fills up your tea cup as a sign to say thank you..Bananaz's Beleaf It Or Not..

இ Gostan Parking

2011-07-28T00:49:00.008+08:00

A friend commented on Bananaz's go astern *gostan* parking "Why you turn your whole head backwards while reversing your car. Why can't you use the side mirrors, that's wrong driving!". Oh really? For those who are taking 'L' driving lessons in the 70s behind the wheel of a black Morris Minor do not have the privilege of what we called the side mirror aka fender mirror, door mirror, wing mirror, or side-view mirror. Ma Mango is using the side mirror for reversing her car. Dunno about the rest of the baby boomers but Bananaz was taught by the driving instructor, to turn the shoulder mid way with head backwards looking through the rear windscreen while performing a reverse parking during those 'L' lessons and old habits die-hard. Those days side mirrors were not a common sight for cars.

Trafficator circled yellow ~ image courtesy of Wikipedia

Since on the subject of The Morris Minor would take this opportunity to share some adventures of Bananaz with his Papa's first car which is also a black Morris Minor 1000 with registration number plate P 5169. Two distinctive features that Bananaz would like to highlight as many may not have the opportunity to see this kind of 50s car anymore. First unique and outstanding part of a Morris Minor is the signal lights which is the retractable semaphores called trafficators about 7 inches in length mounted high up in between the front and back door frame. It will protrude out horizontally when the switch is operated by a lever in the panel and has a lighted bulb inside the trafficators to facilitate night driving. Modern terms we call them turn signals — formally called "directional indicators" and informally known as "blinkers", "indicators" or "flashers".

Trafficators ~ Pix courtesy of Wikipedia

The second feature if you will notice from the video clip or top picture, the Morris Minor has a split and raked windscreen with the panes of ordinary window glass which are flat compared to the modern panoramic or wrap-around windscreen with toughened tempered glass. Technological change over time with great invention, innovation and diffusion of technology.

Thanks to "musicandtoys" for the YouTube and as you can see @0.18 & 0.30 the protruding and retracting of the trafficator..real cool! However they were fragile and could be easily broken off and also a tendency to get stuck in the closed position.

Bananaz had the Morris Minor with an 'L' from the driving school for 3 months driving lessons and pass the test with 'take one'. What car did you drive for the 3 months 'L' lessons? Most of you may be luckier than Bananaz to get a SLK *Slick Little Kancil* or Daihatsu car. My dear sister had 'take four' to pass her driving test and at one of the tests, the JPJ tester drove her back coz she scared the hell out of him. So what's your driver's license story? Care to share the kopi-o drama?

இ Finale ~ 7 Random Facts of Bananaz ~ Everlasting Love

2011-07-22T23:48:00.019+08:00

Supposedly to be on a low profile but eventually ended up fully exposed and peeled right up from stem to fruits and from head to toe. The 7 Random Facts of Bananaz tagged by Mariuca and Jingle has finally come to an end with this entry. Lina also tagged me with another tag by MKL too on the 7 Links Project. Would combine all together with some slight variations into this entry. Sorry it took a much longer period of time as initially Bananaz hope to complete within 7x7=49 days. Moving backwards chronologically in further peeling the 'everlasting love' of Bananaz.

1. 1993 *18 years* ~ Since we came into this world in our birthday suit it must be nice and comfortable to sleep without wearing anything. Its one of the healthiest ways to relax and my blanket is merely a piece of cloth *of course the real blanket is always on stand by in the cupboard*. Anyway a note of caution here, always have your clothes or robe at a proper place handy for emergency use such as natural calamities, fire and robbery. Would be horrible to see your naked pix in the headlines just like the pix. BTW sleeping naked in Minnesota is illegal. How true?.

2. 1992 *19 years* ~ Bananaz's first pair of faithful Asics jogging shoes almost totally worn out. Currently still wearing them for brisk walking and squash occasionally. This pair of jogging shoes came into the scene after encountering feet problem after the Penang Bridge run in 1991.

3. 1991 *20 years* ~ Not willing to part with this singlet even though its worn out at the upper collar. Somehow not pretty good in throwing away things perhaps its the lifestyle Bananaz was brought up the frugal way.

4. 1992 *19 years* ~ This theme music from 'Airwolf' has been Bananaz's ring tone since he owned his very first hand phone until today *quite certain this Airwolf ring tone will follow Bananaz for life*. *Sorry my first hand phone was a second hand NEC, Bananaz only got the ring tone after purchasing a nokia phone*. Some may remember this macho helicopter pilot Jan-Michael Vincent, whoa really loved to watch him in the TV series. Started off with Celcom am still with Celcom and will be with Celcom. Guess what? My handphone number has never been changed, except during the migration of analog 010 to digital 019.

5. 1980 *31 years* ~ Learned hatha yoga from a lady guru whom the doctors have given up hope on her shoulder and told her she would not be able to use her left arm. Her last resort was to take up yoga, mastered it and got her arm healed and later conducted her own hatha yoga class in her house compound in Penang. The headstand *Sirshasana* and Sun Salutation *Surya Namaskara* would be a daily routine for Bananaz.

6. 1977 *34 years* ~ Another long lasting wedding great electrical iron gift. Changed the electrical cable once and Bananaz got a feeling the much awaited steam iron gotta wait for perhaps another 5-10 years more?.

7. 1970 *41 years* ~ Keeping 5 sen was an accidental 'hobby' as it was a naughty plan to make life 'difficult' for one ticketing lady in State Cinema in Petaling Jaya during our college days. She always make a fuzz over the small change of money especially 5 sen as the entrance ticket cost RM0.65 then. We wanna give her all in 5 sen in one of our purchase for a few tickets but then we are all kind hearted students *ahem* only angry and upset for a short span of time. Bananaz also loves collecting coins from different countries too.

இ Random facts VI Part 2 ~ The Years Gone By

2011-07-07T06:30:00.345+08:00

They say the first love is the sweetest but that first cut is the deepest. The first sight of snow is Bananaz's most unforgettable experience for the very first time in Mt Fuji, after living in a tropical country where the weather is hot and humid all year round. Sorry no additional pumping of adrenalin or excitement like bungee jump, sky diving or para-gliding for this post but more on going places on holidays.

The only thrilling excitement was joining the Outward Bound School in Lumut. Could remember vividly the Warden's words of encouragement saying Bananaz is 42 years 'young' among the rest of the younger bounders. He constantly reiterated the OBS motto "To Serve, To Strive and Not To Yield" to remind us never to give up. Just to share one experience that almost all would shudder with a chill down the spine when comes to the fear of darkness in tandem with 'ghost' and Bananaz is no exception. Die die we must go through solo camping where you build your own tent far away from each other and naturally the bounders would hum Lobo's 'I dont like to sleep alone' the whole night through. What surprised me was when the fear of snakes, wild boars or tigers grew so huge it dwarfed the unwholesome thoughts of ghosts completely out of the mind.

The future Senor Presidente..இ MAKE BLOG NOT WAR இ

Snow..more snow...oooohhhhhhhh so much more snow..

1980's ~ Revival of the 50's broad ties worn by my Papa. Bananas anyone?

1983's ~ Yummy Japanese steam boat dinner.. Oishii!

1984's ~ The unnoticed elderly aborigines of Taiwan.

1994's ~ Bananaz's very first lion dance *stand-in tail* performance in Puttaparti, India celebrating Lunar Chinese New Year in this small holy village which was transformed into a mini Chinatown.

1995's ~ Monalisa is watching you from a distance..

1995~ The Fab Four + One..I Wanna Hold Your Hand.

2000 ~ 2010 Globe-trotting..*lit.* eat wind ..makan angin in Malay and 吃風chīfēng in Mandarin where no biting, chewing or swallowing is required merely OYBM..Open Your Big Mouth..^o.O^

2011 ~ A special dinner arranged by daughter Nikki for Father's Day Celebration with soulmate Mango.

Bananaz hitting seventy : Click Here Exit