Barby With a Y Bytch

The Phenomenal Handclap Band.

2012-02-02T16:20:00.001-07:00

I love when I come across a band that tickles my fancy. I give you....

The Phenomenal Handclap Band.

They are pretty amazing.

Lambs Grill.

2012-01-31T18:09:00.008-07:00

The other morning, when I had to get up earlier (much much earlier then I would have liked) I embarked on a journey to the courthouse, to fight a ticket. Long story short, I lost. Leaving the courthouse with a defeated look on my face, and a hungry belly, I decided that I shouldn't go home to soak in my balance due for breaking the law (an amount I rather not post because it makes me want to gag a little) and a piece of toast and jelly just wasn't going to cut it. I took advantage of the fact that I was downtown and decided to have a little breakfast at Lambs Cafe (Salt Lakes oldest restaurant).

I had dined at Lambs a couple of times before, when I was younger My mom would take me to lunch at these great places in Salt Lake when I would skip school from faking a cough and she would end up taking me to work with her. I walked in and automatically I was hit with the presence of nostalgia. The memories of having to keep up a fake cough and try not to act too giddy by the fact that I loved these days with my mom.

I sat at the counter and orderd breakfast, deep in my thoughts as I stirred my coffee in a daze, as Billie Holliday played in the background. My nostalgia quickly took a turn and before I knew it, I felt like I had timed traveled to the 1930's.

I made conversation with the owner, Francis. A lovely man, who also gave me a tour of the Cafe. Showed me the old pics of the owners hanging on the wall. Led me to the back room where they hold special events, and told me some stories. The restaurant has remained essentially unchanged since 1939. The booths, tables, wainscot, back-bar, counter, counter stools, light fixtures and steam-table.

George P. Lamb, a Greek immigrant, opened Lamb's Grill Cafe on George Washington's Birthday, February 22, 1919 in Logan, Utah. In 1931, a picture of George Washington, which hangs in the main dining room, was given to Mr. Lamb by George H. Dern, Governor of the State of Utah to commemorate that occasion. Governor Dern was later appointed by President Franklin D. Roosevelt to serve as Secretary of War.

A little Lambs History for ya.

I really like places that take you places. An experience. I had one of the loveliest mornings the day I walked into lambs. So much so, that I needed to spread the word. The real kicker is that I left the court over a ticket, ate a glorious breakfast at lambs to unwind, and I walked out of lambs with another on my windshield.....Yup. Can't catch a break.

*Lambs Grill.
169 South Main Street Salt Lake City, UT 84111

She....

2012-01-23T09:05:00.000-07:00

She was one of those happily created beings who please without effort, make friends everywhere, and take life so gracefully and easily that less fortunate souls are tempted to believe that such are born under a lucky star.

Just Butthead.

2012-01-20T05:25:00.007-07:00

At times I miss having a Boyfriend. A Beavis to come home to and watch music videos and fart with. I mostly miss a good cuddle, and to burry my face in the nook between his neck. I miss big long sighs of peacefulness by the comfort of his warm body next to me. I miss dorky morning sessions with morning breath kisses. I missed being missed.

THEN....

I go out and I see these couples who appear to be so perfectly happy, get into a fight. She's in the corner texting some other dude, and he's on the other side of the bar drunk off his face and flirting with other chicks. She leaves without him, alone...And he could care less.

I go home. alone...I crawl into my bed, spread out right in the middle of my cozy "queen" bed, I take a big long sigh of peacefulness, by the comfort that I rather be alone, than in bad company.

We Used To Wait.

2012-01-17T09:57:00.004-07:00

We live in a fast-paced world now. Where a message get to you in seconds. There's no waiting at the mailbox for words that are tangible and smell as they have been awaiting to get to you. When a boy would want to talk to you back in the day, he would have to come knock on your door or call your house phone, and then you would have to get through a parent or an annoying brother that would interrupt the phone conversation in the middle of the 2 hour talkingthon (as my magical friend said). It took some work, and if she wasn't home, you would have to try again later, in hopes that you could finally catch her.

The generation of story tellers are fading. It's a different story now. The romance is dying. They will remain in the stories that spoke to us about a time and a place, that was tangible, had a sweet smell of her perfume, and took some time and work to get a hold of.

2012-01-09T15:37:00.001-07:00

I'll be back!

That's The Spirit.

2012-01-04T11:06:00.007-07:00

Last night I shared a late night breakfast (Brinner) with friends. This was only the third time I had ever met one of the guys that joined us (The second time he met me, was the time he payed me the compliment that he admired that I own myself) and the first time I had ever had a real conversation with him. I sat across from this man who had these amazing things to say. Things that rocked my core. He said things with such magic. His eyes would at times wet glossy as if you could tell that at that moment he was having a heartfelt feeling about the things he would talk about. He had so much passion. So much sorrow. So much energy. It has been a long time that I've sat across from a person like this. He talked to you. Into your eyes and with meaning. He was no accident to my life last night.

He said to me...

"Some people are led my their brains. Some people are led by their spirit. The brain will always judge. The spirit never does."

Now, I'm not a religious person but I am a spiritual one, so this quote was so interesting to me and struck a cord in my spirit. We got into the topic that people like us are not ruled my our brains. Of course, we have them, but our spirit usually drives us. For example, a person who is led my their brain will think "I can't get close to you. If I know it's not going to work out why would I get close? It's not going to go anywhere." People get into their own heads too much. They think too too much. Someone like me, who is led by my soul thinks "I don't care if it's not forever. Most things are not. I just want to love this person NOW. Lets go with it and enjoy the ride. Kiss me."

The brain will always have restrictions, and the spirit doesn't even know that word. Sure, the person with the brain might have been smart enough to protect themselves from heartache and therefor that's why they have those brainy thoughts. While the soulful person will most likely feel heartache and feel more. That part is not so fun, but it's part of it.

I think it's easy to get caught up in the brain. Some people I feel are just there and never let go enough to experience their spirit. And some of us, including myself, have a hard time staying in the brain because our spirits are running too free and have no rules and just want to be let BE! I'm not saying one way of being led is better than the other. But one does allow for more interesting stories.

A lot of things made sense to me last night. Things came out of my mouth that I had never said. Saying them and hearing them come out of my mouth was emotional. I feel like I'm starting to get it. I told my Best Friend that I felt like this year was a bad year. She had to remind me that it wasn't, in fact it was my best year. This discomfort and confusion and uneasiness I have been feeling is a transition, a shift and even if it's a great amazing thing, I've been very weird over it this year. Mostly because I have never felt this in my life. I'm aware. It's an interesting time for me right now. I'm living.

I surrender to brain at times, but my spirit is very much in the drivers seat. It is on its way, to who knows where. I'm just along for the ride.

*Spirit Fingers*

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." -John Lennon

Don't You Forget...

2011-12-31T03:17:00.008-07:00

Another year has come and gone. New people have entered out life's. We have learned new things and hopefully learned about yourselves. A year can bring great things. And of course, maybe somethings that were not so great. You can't fully appreciate one without the other. Happiness sometimes is humbled my some heartache, and we appreciate the happiness after the sadness has simmered.

As humans, in this world, you can't have a perfect life, or a perfect year. Instead of making New Years Resolutions, let's take it day by day. As humans, in this world we won't have a perfect 2012. Enjoy and appreciate the family and the people that have been a big part of your 2011. Thank them, and let them know that 2011 just wouldn't have been what it was without them. We learn from everything that happens to us. We learn from the experiences, the happiness and the sadness, the people that were in our life's. Some will remain in the year to come, and some will not. The experiences are here to say, the happiness and sadness we can bet on, and the people are what makes it all worth while.

Raise your champagne glass Or your bud light Or your Shirley Temple (whatever your poison is for the night) and toast, to whatever doesn't kill us, will only make us stronger. Forgive and forget. Appreciate what we do have. Laugh, cry, make mistakes. Just be true to yourself. And don't puke on your friends. That's just rude.

I wish you ALL a great night with the people you love. Everyone be safe. Everyone look killer. Even if you're rocking your PJ's or that little dress you plan to wear to make some jaws drop. Wherever you are, whatever you're wearing...or NOT wearing, Happy New Year, folks. Have a true hussy moment tonight but keep it classy....ish!

2011, Don't You Forget About Me.

2012, You Better Represent.

Aww, Play Nice....ish!

2011-12-28T13:39:00.001-07:00

Phrases You Don't Tell A Naked Man

I've smoked joints fatter than that.

Ahh, it's cute.

I'm sorry.

Who circumcised you?

Why don't we just cuddle?

You know they have surgery to fix that.

My last boyfriend was 4" bigger.

Oh no, a flash headache!

My 8-year-old brother has one like that.

This explains your car.

Are you one of those pygmies?

Why is God punishing you?

But it still works, right?...RIGHT?!?

Do you take steroids?

Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?

Aww, it's hiding.

Are you cold?

If you get me real drunk first.

Is that an optical illusion?

It's a good thing you have so many other talents.

Does it come with an air pump?

So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

Heartbreak Beat

2011-12-23T14:58:00.002-07:00

I'm a heartbreak beat, yea, all night long

And nobody don't dance on the edge of the dark

We've got the radio on

And it feels like love,

But it don't mean a lot

And it feels like love

And it's all that we

There's a heartbreak beat, playing all night long

Down on my street

And it feels like love, got the radio on

And it's all that we need

There's a heartbreak beat, and it feels like love

Well, the feet don't stop, the way you talk so tough

And there's a perfect kiss, somewhere out in the dark

But a kiss ain't enough

And the world don't stop, every time that you call

And the world don't stop, every time that you fall

Today....

2011-12-20T15:32:00.004-07:00

It's hard not to take things personally when your feelings for someone are personal. - My thoughts today

The Radio Dept.

2011-12-20T07:47:00.000-07:00

The beautiful sounds of this band is one I have been indulging in for years. If you haven't heard their stuff, I recommend you jump on The Radio Dept. and start the love affair.

Ad THIS!!!

2011-12-19T21:19:00.000-07:00

I disabled the advertisements on my blog.

They were a lot of religious dating ones, and cheesy jewelry.

Such a misrepresentation, and extremely offensive to my blog.

Comments....

2011-12-18T22:52:00.000-07:00

A comment from a reader about the "Rated B" blog post.

I think you are a beautiful lady and I love your blog. I also totally agree that its sad when woman can't learn to love their body and their curves. A woman's body is amazing and it has taken me a long time to finally be comfortable in my own skin. Its a great feeling. However, I have to disagree with that making it okay to display pornography. It has ruined countless marriages of some dear friends and almost split up my close relationship. Many would say that's not a woman's fault, the man just shouldn't look. However there is just too much research to support that pornography is a chemical addiction. I want to be naked all the time for my husband! And even take fun pictures. :) I'm just not sure that I like other woman posing nude for my husband to see. That's not to say tho that I believe a woman that does is evil or that I hate woman that pose for things like playboy. I just wish that society would think twice. Thanks for your thoughtful posts tho!

Even if I do appreciate the comments I receive and different point of views, I also have my opinions on these comments as well. I don't understand why people think everything has to be so extreme. If you look at porn you have a chemical addiction. If you look at pornography it will break up your marriage.

What?

How about a happy medium? I think it's unrealistic to think the moment you get married that your spouse is no longer to look, or feel, or think about someone other than you EVER again. THAT is what will break up a marriage. You can have a very healthy sexual relationship with your spouse, or with your lover (yes, unmarried people have sex too) if you flip through a playboy together, watch porn for fun now and then, or even sit at the stage of a strip club and tip and enjoy the view. And I also believe that non of those things are bad if you do them with or without your spouse, or lover or if you're single.

Keeping secrets from you spouse and having these things get out of hand, that's what will tarnish marriages. It's not society. If you go to other countries nudity is not looked down on. I want the man I'm going to be with to be able to have a naked woman in front of him, appreciate it, and be confident enough to know he is going home with me, to the best lover he has ever had, mind you. Just because we are "married" or "together" does not mean he is dead, and neither am I. I will still appreciate a beautiful man OR woman, naked or dressed, as long as there's boundaries. Bad sex life's is what ruins marriages. Not communicating is what ruins marriages. Suppression leads to perversion. If you think they are not peeking someway or another...ignorance is bliss? I suppose.

I believe in a healthy amount of the naughty.

Thank you for the comment. I appreciate peoples views and don't take for granted that people read mine.

Twin Shadow.

2011-12-13T01:51:00.001-07:00

I got his album a couple of months after it dropped in 2010, and it is still one of my favorites to listen to from beginning to end.

Produced by Chris Taylor of Grizzly Bear. The album has been described as "steeped in 1980s new wave","building from streaks of haunting synth textures", "sophisticated melodies", "R&B intimacy", and "poetic lyrics"and "hazily new wave-tinged pop". Twin Shadow was the Rolling Stone 'Band of the Week' on October 7, 2010.

I kinda have a crush on George Lewis Jr.

His lovely voice emerging from his mustache might be the what accumulated this infatuation.

17 Hours.

2011-12-12T05:13:00.002-07:00

A lot can happen.

Just a typical Sunday!
I just realized this might be the reason guys don't take me home...
to meet their Mama.

YO MOTHA!

Rated B

2011-12-10T04:28:00.005-07:00

And there you have it. Lindsay Lohan in the buck. I'm sorry, but, I call BS on anyone that hasn't wondered about what this little ladies boobies look like bare. And the fact that they are real, makes it even more of a sight for sore eyes.

I'm the first to admit that I'm all about the buck. I have posed nude, and I don't feel that has lessened me. People may see it that way because of their own reasons, but I think a woman body is beautiful, There's nothing sexier than a woman that is comfortable with her body. Behind closed doors or as a form of art or any form, for that matter.

Yes, the poor little lady has dealt with her issues. We ALL have. The difference is that her problems are for the world to see. We "normal" people have our own demons and issues but it's not on the 6' o'clock news.

One of my favorite models EVER, Helena Christensen, was a lot of the time, nude in her modeling career. But yet no one saw that as a shocker.

Why is this any different?

Sharon Stone graces us with her famous "Beave" shot,..

and she's still one of the most famous actresses of our time.

And while researching for this very blog posting, I came across Katie-Louise Ford blog and found this beautiful picture..and fell in love with her blog.

Can you even imagine the tiff that nudity caused back in the early 1900's? In the world of porn at your finger tips and the fact that it's so easy to see now these days, and housewives are now taking pole dancing stripper classes as a way to exercises and (lets face it) to spice up their personal sexual relationships. You would think it wouldn't be as taboo, right?

The word Taboo always reminds me of that perfume I wore in the 80's....Any who...

People will judge. Have opinions. Look down on you. Call you a HUSSY. But their curious eyes will still look. It's in our human nature. You can't deny, male or female, we look and are curious about the buck.

In the end the only thing that matters is how you feel in a turtleneck, or in a long elegant dress, or in a swimsuit OR...

In The Buck, Chuck!

And most importantly..

how you feel within YOU.

When I had my dark hair and bangs. Yup.

This picture won some award a couple of years ago. I'm still very proud of this shot.

Mostly because this was not an easy pose to try and pull off 10 min into the pose.

I've been called "Too free"as a way of putting me down.

Just yesterday someone said that I rocked because "I own myself"

You can't please everyone.

So, you gotta please yourself.

I won't judge those who don't run around like naked flower children from the 60's. So therefor, let's not judge the people who's nature is to run around with nothing but that flower in their hair.

GOOD TALK!!!

Lykke Li

2011-11-26T15:38:00.004-07:00

Lykke Li was one of the many artist I came across during the glorious Myspace days. Some of my favorite bands/artist that I have built a relationship with over the years were discovered on that very website that now, is only around to provide music pages for artist and to poke fun of, or in my case, to reminisce about how great and fun those cyber years were.

Lykke was an easy one to fall in love with. Not only is her music magical, and at the time I had never heard anything like hers, but the combination of her lovely voice and her style made me fall in love. She's beautiful and unique, and I want to steal ALL of her wardrobe. She's a true bad ass. She still hasn't made it to Salt Lake for a concert, but when she does, I will surely be there.

This video really hit close to home.

For all of us who wish to have this moment with our fathers.

Proving that beautiful and unique women, have had sad blessings.

And..............................

Her dress...................

I must have.

Silent Clamor

2011-11-22T16:49:00.002-07:00

I started this blog almost 3 years ago. I been spilling my guts and writing from my heart and my truth. At times, filled with humor and at times filled with sad thoughts, but never short of pictures of myself. As you have noticed, I'm not writing much these days. I have even written about the fact that I'm not writing much these days as well..Sheeesh! I have been an open book, and I have enjoyed every minute of my uncensored words, my thoughts, my views, my stories, my life, my heartache, my music, myself. A combination of little time these days and that I just feel real private about my thoughts, my experiences and my life at the moment has left my blog a bit neglected and yawn worthy. It's not jumping at the moment.

It does make me sad because I truly love writing and my blog has been something that has brought me great joy and I'm truly passionate about. It's been such a positive outlet in my life, and not to mention that it made me realize how much I love writing and that I may even be talented at it. I can't help but feel that I have kept you hanging. YOU, the readers, mean a lot to me. I know I don't owe anyone an explanation but I haven't forgotten about you. I'm well aware that my blog is not what it used to be. Maybe I'm not what I used to be.

Silence has got me. I have surrendered to it at the moment. I think sometimes it's very much needed. One thing I can't do is go against my nature. My silence comforts me.

I think that one's art is a growth inside one. I do not think one can explain growth. It is silent and subtle. One does not keep digging up a plant to see how it grows. -Emily Carr

Doubleyeu

2011-11-15T21:58:00.004-07:00

I had the honor of shooting with Doubleyeu on Sunday. I truly love the style of this young ladies photography. She is so talented. Not to mention that after this shoot I fell in love with this super funny and lovely gal. I had a lot of fun. Her photography is just right up my alley. I put money on the fact that she is going to have a very successful career as a bad ass photographer.

You can check out her photography on her Facebook Doubleyeu fan page HERE!

Oh, You Know...

2011-11-15T21:58:00.000-07:00

2011-11-08T12:07:00.001-07:00

"Why is this town so sloppy? My god. I've been drinking all night and I'm not dragging toilet paper on the back of my shoe....Fuck"- The Guy

*I've been hanging out with a guy that wasn't born in Utah and that has no Mormon ties. Super freshening. He works on motorcycles on his free time and he smells of motor oil and pure man and it's delicious. He's a cool cat.

Maybe I'll start referring to him as James Dean o here. Not to be mistaken for James Deen, my porn star, of course.

Collarbone by Catharine Luckett

2011-11-05T13:04:00.000-06:00

Collarbone by Catharine Luckett is a jewelry company inspired by the raw aesthetics of the nature world, sourcing materials that are re-purposed, raw, and/or natural. Some of Catharine's favorite stones/mediums include Pyrite, Turquoise, Raw Amber, African Brass, Emerald and Tourmaline. Pieces include earrings, necklaces, bracelets, and rings, with the occasional.

I don't know what it is, but it's kind of amazing.

Collarbone Started in Spring 2010 while Catharine was obtaining a degree in fashion design. She started making jewelry for herself and everyone was asking her to make stuff for them- thus Collarbone was born. Collarbone now sells in boutiques in Los Angeles, Portland, Seattle, Missoula, Sun Valley, Jackson Hole, Park City, and Salt Lake City, as well as on their official website Shopcollarbone.com.

I got a pair of amazing earrings from Catharine the other day. As soon I get all dolled up, I'll snap a picture and flex them. I like to flex things I really like a lot on my blog..If you haven't noticed.

Dun Dun Done.

2011-11-02T20:20:00.005-06:00

Lets be real, who cares what the reasons were for the split. Better to realize sooner than later, that you made a mistake. Rather than letting years go by, unhappy and god forbid kids later. Then you've not only wasted time but wasted time unhappy. I'm all about wasting time, if I'm having a good ol' time. You dig?

Remember back in the day when people would meet and 6 months later they would get married and they are sharing that story over a 50th wedding anniversary? Now, stories like that are a thing of the past. It's like the lonely old man sitting at the bar sharing his Vietnam war stories. Now we hear stories about how people used to stay married....for longer than 72 days.

Kim and Kris actually lasted longer than these other couples, that in my eyes, just committed the crime of being hopeless romantics in the moment.

Rudolph Valentino and Jean Acker got married in 1919. The "Latin Lover" and the American actress were married for 6 hours. 6 HOURS, folks.

The duration of a good nights rest.

Britney Spears and Jason Alexander lasted married for 2 days.

The Duration from Salt Lake City to New york..
With a nights rest and a few stops for gas and slim Jim's, of course.

Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnine lasted a whopping 4 weeks.

Nice job, you crazy kids, you...

The duration of a month.

DUH!

And lets not forget the hussies of all huss husses.
Elizabeth Taylor (Rest her soul) married 9 time.

The duration of a cats lifespan.
Meow!
HUSSSS!

The one thing that all these short lived I do's have in common?....

The women are the ones that filed for divorce.

Ummmm......

Last I heard, Cinderella and Prince Charming are still married.

I mean, that's a good sign.

RIGHT?

Who wouldn't want to stay married to a Prince...

that found your favorite lost shoe?

KEEPER!

I hope to someday write about my short lived marriage

*SIGH*

The Naughty Naughy

2011-10-25T10:33:00.005-06:00

Pornography: or porn; creative activity (writing or pictures or films etc.) of no literary or artistic value other than to stimulate sexual desire.

I don't have to explain the nature of these type of movies. They pretty much allow you to be peeping tom in the comfort of your own home. If you have never seen a porn or been curious in your adult life, get with it. Unless you're bloggin about it, no one needs to know you're a pervert.

Yesterday, I had a perverted morning when I was dabbling on the Internet and at this point I can't lie and make up some elaborate story about how I accidental stumbled on this video while googling the word pussy... cat. In other words, I'm admitting that I was looking at porn, okay?

Don't judge me...

Porn has become a very male driven industry, full of big boobs and money shots on poor girls faces. Very rarely do you stumble across a XXX film that has the man giving you a run for your $9.99 monthly membership fee.

But long behold...there he was...like a sexual god....

James Deen.

Mr. Deens floored me. Where did this guy learn all this? How does he know that woman need other types of stimulation other than the obvious target V spot? It was like watching an artist, a dance, a perfect blend of naughtiness and passion, and all done by a very attractive, sexy and charming young lad. Porn has come a long way from the Ron Jeremy days, right?

There's no doubt that his films are very clearly about his skills, and the female who's usually the main attraction, quickly becomes the co-star. As a woman, I can see that his mannerisms and they way he handles these women, is what I personally think woman desire in a sexual partner. There's no doubt that these women in these films with him don't feel this way, too. You can see it in their damn eyes.

James Deen needs to write the first Vagina manual, or the Vagina books for dummies. Mainly, so that he can make it clear that it's not just about the Vagina. I don't just see him as a porn star. This man can inspire men to be better lovers. And inspire more women to watch porn. Mr. Deens has a pretty huge female following..respectfully so. Porn is porn, but when Deens is in the shot, there's a standing ovation and roses thrown at the computer screen. BRAVO!!!

He nailed it.

Literally.

‘My name is James. I am a simple guy who likes to eat, sleep, and watch TV. Oh yeah, I also bang chicks for a living.'

Alright, Alright...

I'll stop being such a perv.

ish!