Life of a Barefoot MomLady

Thankfulness, Day 5 - God Has Plans

2009-11-05T23:45:00.004-05:00

Today has been an especially difficult day. Not for myself so much as it was for my husband.

When he finally got home tonight, after yet another 12-hour long day, he felt so defeated, so downcast...it nearly broke my heart.

My eternal optimist. My can-do guy. The one who never gives up, who never quits.

He was almost ready to throw in the towel.

I can't pretend to know why everything in our lives has been so hard lately. I don't know when or how it's ever going to get any better.

But God does.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

And I'm so, so thankful for that.

WW - The Men In Her Life

2009-11-03T21:10:00.000-05:00

To remind myself of all the good things in my life, I'm posting something I'm thankful for every day this month.

Today, I'm thankful for the men in Mary's life.

I'm thankful that she has a father who loves his family as much as my husband does. He works long hours and often goes without a day off. But for as hard as he works to support us, he's never too tired to help me around the house or spend quality time with his children. I love the example he's setting for our children of what a husband and father should be.

I'm thankful that she has a big brother like Benjamin. He loves to hold her, and always remembers her (and the rest of his sisters) in his prayers. I have no doubt that he'll be a strong, protective, and supportive presence for her through the years.

Who are you thankful for today?

(For more WW, visit here and here!)

30 Days of Thanks - Day 2

2009-11-02T23:36:00.002-05:00

Seeing as I'm writing this with less than half an hour before the day is officially over, I'll keep it short and sweet.

I'm thankful for the end of Daylight Savings Time.

Now that the clocks have (finally!!) gone back an hour, my sweet little Mary went to sleep before midnight.

Hallelujah.

30 Days of Thanks - Day 1

2009-11-01T21:57:00.002-05:00

Jen at One Moms World tweeted that she's challenging herself to post something she's thankful for every day this month. I love this idea, so I'm ~~stealing~~ borrowing it for myself because 1) I need to remind myself more of all that I have to be thankful for, and 2) I'd like to get back to regular posting and this would be a great way to do it.

So, here we go. Day 1.

Today I'm thankful that October is over.

Wait, let me put a more positive spin on that.

I'm thankful for the beginning of another month. Truthfully, October was a rough month for us in the Barefoot household. Broken appliances, car repairs, unexpected expenses, and minor injuries all added up to even more stress on top the stress we've already been living under. But today, the first of November, gives me a new chance.

A new chance for things to turn around.

A new chance to take a deep breath and try again.

A new chance to hope.

What new chances are you thankful for today?

Wordless/Wordful Wednesday - Sisters

2009-10-24T10:30:00.009-04:00

When Mary was born, her older siblings couldn't wait to meet her. Except for Sarah. Whether it was jealousy or just the ambivalence of a two year old, I'll never know. As far as Sarah was concerned, Mary simply did not exist.

In the past few weeks, though, I've noticed Sarah acknowledging Mary as part of her family. At first it was a random, occasional kiss on the head. A few days later, she reached over to pat her little sister on the back while I was burping her. The other night, she laid down to start playing with her.

Someday, hopefully, they will be the best of friends. They'll share each other's joys and heartaches, and be there for each other with support, encouragement, laughter and hugs. (And probably chocolate and coffee. They are my daughters after all.)

Right now, they're just beginning to learn that they are sisters.

For more WW, go here and here.

Not So Bad

2009-10-23T15:35:00.003-04:00

Warning: The following was written by a sleep-, caffeine-, chocolate-, romance-deprived woman. It could get ugly.

I've wracked my brain trying to come up with a light, whimsical way to write about the past two weeks, but let's face it...I'm no Jane Austen. (And did Jane Austen ever write while overcoming post-partum depression? No, I don't think so.)

So, the past two weeks have been one disaster after another. The list of things broken, replaced, or repaired include a television, an ice maker, my husband's toe, the toilet, the van, the heating system in the house...and oh yeah, the van again. (Can you hear the Hee Haw Quartet singing, "If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all..."?)

Our meager-but-valiantly-trying-to-grow savings account has officially been wiped out.

And there's an entire bag of dark chocolate Dove in my cabinet, taunting me. But since Mary still gets tummyaches at my least little ingestion of chocolate, I'm not having any. It's hard, I tell you. So very hard.

Is it too inappropriate for a forty-year old woman to throw herself down, beat her hands and feet against the floor and cry, "It's not fair!!!" ? Yeah, I thought so too.

But I know I have a lot to be thankful for, even when I want to scream from the frustration of it all. (Not that it would help, because then I'd still have to deal with everything AND I'd have a sore throat.)

Because looking at these faces? Life's not so bad after all.

Wordless (Wordful) Wednesday - Like a Bug in a Rug

2009-10-06T22:56:00.003-04:00

For now, Mary's favorite part about bathtime seems to be getting dried off.

For more WW, go here and here.

Top Ten Tuesday - Things I'll Do Someday

2009-10-06T12:02:00.003-04:00

Someday, when my little ones are older, there are some things I'd like to do (or get back to doing).

1. Go to bed before midnight. (Unless, of course, I just really want to stay up late...though I can't imagine why.)

2. Exercise regularly. (Granted, I run up and down the stairs about 20 times a day now, but I'm thinking it might take a little more than that to get myself down to the size I want to be.)

3. Have one glass of water all to myself. (There must be some magnetic quality about the drinking water around here that attracts children under the age of five. Seriously, the minute I pour myself a glass they come swarming.)

4. Eat dark chocolate. (Can't have any while I'm nursing Mary. Don't you feel sorry for me?)

5. Have a glass of wine with my husband after a romantic dinner. (See #4.) (And when would we ever get a chance to have a romantic dinner now anyway??)

6. Go camping. (Until I'm sure that none of my children would wake up in the middle of the night and wander off, it ain't happenin'.

7. Start crocheting again. (I used to crochet lovely little doilies, but when are my hands empty enough? Not to mention, my two year old likes to run off with my balls of yarn.)

8. Play the piano again. (Another "See #4" subject. Have you ever tried to play "Claire de Lune" while twenty other fingers are banging away on your keyboard? It doesn't work. Trust me.)

9. Learn to knit. (See #7.)

10. Update/Redesign my blog. (I love the way my blog looks, but I really need a new header at the very least. Seriously, do I think I'm ever going to be pregnant again? No. No. No.)

(Want to see more Top Tens? Check out Oh Amanda!)

How about you? Are there things you'd like to do that you're putting off until your babies get bigger?

(And are you as obsessed with parantheses as I am?)

Wordless (and Wordful) Wednesday - Swingin' on a Sunday Afternoon

2009-09-30T00:15:00.001-04:00

September is...

Sisters sitting on a swing...

...sharing smiles on a Sunday afternoon.

For more WW, click here and here.

Cuteness Overload

2009-09-28T09:48:00.003-04:00

Caution: The following video contains an overwhelming abundance of cuteness. Viewer discretion is advised.

You were warned.

It Never Fails

2009-09-24T20:46:00.004-04:00

How is it that when I finally think of something to write about, I have no time to do it? And when I finally get the time, I can't remember any of it?

Well, you know what they say...the more you have to blog about, the less time you have to do it.

(I'll probably think of plenty to write about later...oh, say around three in the morning.)

(Sigh.)

Wordless (Wordful) Wednesday - Laid Back Chillin'

2009-09-23T07:30:00.001-04:00

My 15 year old genuinely enjoys hanging out with her baby sister...

...and I love seeing the bond between them grow.

(For more WW click here and here.)

Bumps and Bruises

2009-09-22T18:05:00.003-04:00

As I was enjoying a tiny bit of peace and quiet this morning while I nursed Mary, my mind started wandering around (as it's prone to do when given the chance) and I found myself thinking how incredibly lucky I've been that my children don't seem to injure themselves as much as I did when I was young.

I remember one time, I couldn't have been more than four years old, when I was playing "Ballerina Gymnast" on my front porch. I decided to perform what should've been an amazing and graceful combination leap/pirouette from the porch to the lawn. Of course, it didn't come off quite the way I pictured it, and I somehow ended up with a cut on my forehead. The thing I remember most was lying in bed that night with a bandage on my forehead and thinking that if I took the bandage off you could probably see my brain and how nasty it would be if my brain got dirty. The mind of a four year old, huh?

I haven't really had to much use for Band-Aids in the Barefoot household yet (knock on wood). I have a feeling that will change as my son gets older and bolder, though.

I wonder, though, if my big girls have missed out on something by not getting those childhood bumps and bruises. Have I overprotectively shielded them too much? Is there a crucial piece of character development that comes from coping with the pain of minor accidents?

On the other hand, if this is the sort of thing I think up in the wee small hours of the morning, maybe it's a good thing I don't let my mind wander around too much.

Fifteen Years, Infinite Smiles

2009-09-21T12:50:00.004-04:00

We're celebrating my daughter's fifteenth birthday today. Fifteen years of laughter, love, and silliness.

Happy birthday, my darling girl. Keep smiling.

Wordless Wednesday - We're An American Band

2009-09-16T13:29:00.003-04:00

Music is a very important part of the Barefoot household.

As If My Life Wasn't Crazy Enough...

2009-09-14T10:41:00.002-04:00

My life of late is pretty crazy. Consider the following:

My baby is six weeks old today.
My husband is ecstatic that the baby is six weeks old. (Think about it.)
Now that my "maternity leave" is over, I need to start up homeschool again with my 14 year-old and 12 year-old daughters.
My 14 year-old turns 15 in one week. 'Nuff said.
My 3 year-old son will be 4 in November. He knows his numbers, colors and some letters. I should start schooling him, too.

Sound like I've got enough going on? Any sane person would think so, but not me. Oh no, I've decided that now, amidst all the rest of this, is the time to start potty-training my 2 year-old daughter. At this very moment, she's prancing about the living room enjoying her temporary freedom from clothing.

Go ahead, tell me I'm insane. I do.

You Know You're Getting Old When...

2009-09-07T23:33:00.002-04:00

...your daughter says, "Let's listen to some oldies!" and puts on an 80s cd.

...the child you were pregnant with when Blue's Clues first debuted is now in puberty.

...you have friends on Twitter that were born the year you graduated high school.

...staying up til 3am is no longer "cool".

...neither is four hours of sleep.

Twenty-Eight Days Later

2009-09-01T15:12:00.000-04:00

It's hard to believe that Mary was born four weeks ago yesterday. It still seems like it was just the other day. Paradoxically, though, it feels like forever since I was pregnant.

I know every mom has it rough the first few weeks with a new baby, and I have to be thankful that it hasn't been worse, but I'd be lying if I said it hasn't been harder than I expected.

The first week went so smoothly, but after that...I still don't know what went wrong. I suppose I never will. One night, for no reason I can tell, Mary seemed to completely forget how to latch on. The next thing I know, I'm fighting recurring mastitis and struggling not to completely lose my milk supply.

Of all the things I tried to prepare myself for mentally before Mary was born, nursing difficulties never entered my mind. I took it for granted that I'd nurse her for however long. I certainly never guessed I'd have so much trouble doing it, or what a tough time I'd have dealing with it emotionally. I felt like such a failure.

And I've struggled with depression. I can't tell how much time I spent crying. Part of it is tied into my nursing problems, and the feeling that I've failed somehow, but a lot of it is just something about me that has an easy tendency to fall into the blues.

Still, things are better now. I haven't completely given up on breastfeeding. I'm taking Fenugreek and drinking Mother's Milk Tea to help boost my supply, and pumping when it's too painful to nurse. I took it pretty hard emotionally when I first gave Mary formula, but I've been reminded that what matters most is that my daughter is healthy and that I'm taking care of her the best I can.

Cooking Lessons

2009-08-25T10:02:00.000-04:00

I've got hang-ups about cooking. Okay, I've got hang-ups about a LOT of things, but cooking is a big one. When I was fourteen, I tried to cook dinner for my father all by myself. It was an unmitigated disaster, to put it mildly. Egg dripping off the counter top, flour everywhere, steak like shoe leather, burnt biscuits...you get the idea. I was trying to imitate one of my mother's "standard" dinners, but for the life of me I just couldn't figure out how to get six different items to come out perfectly all at the same time. Suffice to say, we ended up going out to Pizza Hut that night.

A few years later, when I was a young (very young) new wife and mother, I endeavoured again to learn how to cook. Have you ever seen potatoes turn green? I did, and it was not pretty. I couldn't even cook spaghetti without making a total hash of it. Even though I did eventually learn to cook a few things that were edible without having to close your eyes, it didn't take long for my (then) husband to take over the cooking. After all, "we just can't afford to waste food like that."

Over the years of my first marriage, I would still make an occasional foray into the kitchen. I still wanted to learn how to cook, despite my obvious domestic deficiency. And then came my moment of truth. After ten years of being "the breadwinner", we decided it was time to let me stay home with the children while he went out to work. My greatest fear wasn't whether or not we'd still be able to pay our bills, though that was a close second. No, my greatest fear was, "Will my family starve to death waiting for me to learn how to fix a decent dinner?"

In all, it took less than a month for me to get enough of a repertoire of dishes figured out so that we didn't have to eat the same thing every night. So emboldened by my new culinary prowess, I began tackling desserts. Before a year was up, I was making apple pies, pumpkin pies and brownie-bottom cheesecakes.

And then, I had to go back to work.

But all that changed three years ago when I married Eric. My life is so different now, it's hard to believe that I'm really the same person. I'm a stay at home mom, I home school, I have babies again, and even though my darling husband loves to help me in the kitchen, I do the bulk of the cooking. But I still have fears about learning new dishes. Until last night.

I've been so inspired by all the different recipes I've seen shared online that, after putting my husband on the spot and getting him to admit that yes, maybe something different for dinner would be kind of nice, I started going through my cookbooks in search of...something. What I came up with was Smothered Chicken. And, contrary to the visions I had of my family gagging and spitting it out like poison, they loved it! I took a major step of faith into the unknown and achieved success.

It occurred to me last night, with echoes of praise still ringing in my ears, that it's the same way with God. Sometimes, He asks me to take steps of faith into the unknown, to get me out of my comfort zone and try something new or different. And how do I answer that call? Do I balk with excuses, hemming and hawing about not having the time, the talent, or the skill while masking my fear of the unknown? Or do I trust that, whatever He has called me to, He will see me through?

Food for thought.

Originally posted September 1, 2007

A Simple Devotion

2009-08-23T13:29:00.001-04:00

I'm not the best person in the world at memorizing Scripture. My children know more verses than I do. Oh sure, I know a few by heart. Like John 3:16, or Romans 3:23...you know, easy ones like that. But what I'm finding out now, so late in the game at my age, is that the more I read, the more certain passages start to bury themselves in my heart. I know, that seems like such an obvious, "Well, duh!" thing, but for me it's just huge. For someone that didn't grow up in church and never knew what "meditating on the Word" meant, it's nothing short of awesome to find out. And it's one of these passages that I want to share with you now.

"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil. For evil men will be cut off, but those who hope in the Lord will inherit the land." Psalm 37: 3-9

I'm sure that the first time I read this, I didn't really get it. I was a spiritually-young Christian, still feeding on "milk" and trying to get in the habit of reading daily. Back then, my mindset was probably dealing with the facts that 1) there sure are a lot of Psalms to get through, and 2) I much preferred the narrative sections of the Bible, where there's lots of action and story-telling going on. (I just love the part where Elijah tells the prophets of Baal, "Maybe your god's on vacation, or sleeping. Try yelling louder!")

But I thank God regularly now for opening my eyes to how rich His Word really is. Because when I read this through again, I was just amazed at what He's saying. Look over it with me again, and let's break it down a bit.

"Trust in the Lord and do good..." What happens when we trust in Him? We get to "dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture." In my mind, I can imagine Beth Moore's voice saying, "I need to know that if God's gonna be my Shepherd, I can trust that He's gonna put me in some good pasture, don't you? God's not gonna give us some scraggly piece of land to graze on, He's giving us something RICH to feed on, and that's His Word! We need to know that!"

Verse 4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." I was discussing these verses with my daughters the other night for our family devotion time, and I asked the girls why would the Lord give you the desires of your heart if you delight yourself in Him? Bless her heart, Rebecca answered without a moment's hesitation, "When you delight in Him, you want what He wants. So the desires of your heart become His desires. It's not like you're gonna say, 'I love Jesus' and He'll give you a million dollars or something!" You know, I thought my heart was going to burst with joy to hear her. She totally got it.

Verse 5: "Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun." This one seems almost to need no explanation, it's so plainly stated. Commit your way to His way, and this is what the Lord will do...

But perhaps the question here is, why? Why should committing our way to the Lord result in shining righteousness? Didn't Isaiah say that our righteousness is "as filthy rags"? (Isaiah 64:6)

It's true, our righteousness is filthy. But when we give ourselves to the Lord, when we commit ourselves to Him, when we give up our way and follow His way, when we finally say, "Not my will, but Thine," we are no longer clothed in the rags of our sins, but clothed in the glorious beauty of HIS righteousness. Talk about the most extreme makeover you can imagine, and up it to the nth degree! We don't have to be bent and beaten down by the sins of our past any longer! "Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame." (Psalm 34:5) It's a beautiful thing.

Once we trust Him, delight in Him, and commit our way to Him, what happens? Well, if my own journey is any example, you can pretty much be assured that you're going to come under attack. "You're not good enough for God to love." "Look at what a terrible person you've been." "You're never going to be any good." "You don't really believe in all that, do you?" "If God really loved you, why hasn't He made this or that better for you?" "If you want to get ahead in life, you've got to take matters into your own hands." "God helps those who help themselves." "It's a dog-eat-dog world, you've got to look out for number one because no one else will."

And what's God's answer to this? "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him." That's it. Just be still and wait. Don't get in a tizzy because someone else got the promotion when they didn't deserve it. Or when someone slanders you. Or spreads malicious gossip about you. Be still. Wait. And don't fret.

In fact, if you look at the passage, you'll notice that He says not to fret twice. "Do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes. Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret--it leads only to evil." (emphasis mine) When we fret, we engage our negative emotions. We feel slighted. Used. Abused. We want justice. And retribution.

And revenge.

We want to hurt the way we've been hurt. We want to make someone pay.

But the price has already been paid. By Jesus. And paybacks belong to Him. "Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. (Romans 12:19)

So, what are we to do? Trust Him. Delight in Him. Commit our way to Him.

And after all that, stand still and wait patiently for Him. God is so much bigger than any troubles that come our way.

And He knows how to handle them a lot better than we do.

Originally posted July 17, 2008

Today, I Pledge...

2009-08-12T13:31:00.005-04:00

Today, I pledge to hang up my cape and not be SuperWoman.

I will not:
Create, look at, or even think about a to-do list.
Fret about the mess in my house.
Worry about our budget.
Run myself ragged trying to do forty chores in one day.
Feel bad that I can't whip up a nutritious, frugal, gourmet meal for six in thirty minutes or less.
Beat myself up for being an imperfect, flawed human being.
Fuss at my children for being imperfect, flawed human beings.

I will:
Relax and enjoy the moment.
Laugh at silly things.
Remember that I'd rather have my home be messy and happy than neat and boring.
Thank my husband for being such a hard-working man.
Thank God for blessing me with a family that loves me and friends that understand.

Today, I pledge to hang up my cape and just be ME.

How about you?

Moments With Mary

2009-08-11T12:29:00.004-04:00

In the quiet of night you call to me, for this is our time. No other voices, no distractions, I am yours alone as it always was.

The arms that once ached for you now hold you close. Hungrily you seek what I so happily offer. The connection is made, the circle complete, the bond formed.

You rest your head upon my breast, listening for the rhythm you have loved all your life. We sway together, a dance of two hearts bound together with love undeniable.

Softly I kiss your silky skin. Marveling I gaze at the perfection you are. Gently I surrender you to sleep, and dreams of our moments together.

It's a Birth Day Giveaway!

2009-08-06T14:30:00.001-04:00

I'm still overwhelmed with amazement that our precious little girl is with us now. I have so many thoughts and emotions coursing through me, I don't know how I'll ever be able to capture it all, but I'm going to try to get Mary's birth story written soon, while everything is still fresh in my mind. (It'll probably take awhile if for no other reason than the fact that this little one has a serious appetite. I'm so proud of how quickly she got the whole "latching on" business down pat...go, Mary!)

In the meantime, I've decided to celebrate by holding a little giveaway!

In 2007, Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein released the groudbreaking documentary The Business of Being Born, an eye-opening look into the American childbirth experience. Now they continue the mission of informing women about their birth options with the amazing book, Your Best Birth.

Of all the pregnancy-related books I've read over the years, this ranks as one of my top five favorites. The focus of the book is to give as much information as possible about the choices every woman has (or should have) regarding childbirth to help the reader make the best decisions for her and her baby. Homebirth, birth center, hospital, c-section or VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section)...it's not a question of what's "best", but what's best for you. And that's something I believe in strongly.

I've had six children now. My first three were hospital births, my last three were homebirths. I've used a midwife once, and gone "unassisted" with my husband twice. Would I advocate that for everyone? Certainly not! What matters to me is seeing more mothers (and fathers!) informed as to what's involved in the birth scenario, and having as much information as possible to plan for the birth experience that works best for them.

So in the hopes of helping someone else "take back the birth experience", and to celebrate my adorable Mary's Birth Day, I'm giving away one copy of Your Best Birth!

To enter, simply leave a comment on this post. If you really, really want to win, here are a couple of ways to get extra entries:
One extra entry for following me on Twitter and leave a comment with your ID, so I know it's you!
Subscribe to my blog via email or feed subscription (again, leave a comment and let me know.)
For TWO extra entries, leave a comment telling me any of the following:
What was your best birth experience? (Or how do you imagine it will be, if you haven't had any children yet.)
What was your worst?
How did (or will you) pick your child's name?

Comments will be open until 5pm Eastern, Friday, August 14th.
Sorry, but U.S. residents or shipping addresses only.

For the record, this is not a sponsored giveaway. I was not contacted by Ms. Lake or Ms. Epstein (I wish!), or representatives of either to promote this book. I'm doing this solely on my own initiative, because I'm just that passionate about seeing more women be as well informed as possible.

Good luck!

Wordless Wednesday - Two-Fisted Daddy

2009-08-05T11:16:00.002-04:00

Two-day old Mary and two-year old Sarah agree...Daddy's arms are the best place for napping.

Go to 5 Minutes for Mom for more Wordless Wednesday fun.

I'm Proud to introduce....

2009-08-03T16:41:00.005-04:00

Say hi to Mary Elizabeth.

She was born this afternoon at 12:57, weighing in at 7lb 7oz, and 19" long.

Both her and mommy are now sleeping peacefully.

But I wanted to introduce Mary to all my beloved's friends.

A proud Hubby and Dad