Bariatric Renewal

Back on Track

2013-03-30T21:40:00.001-04:00

Sometimes the hardest part of working out is getting through the gym door. I've been avoiding the gym for months. Partly this was due to my nagging knee problems. I feel a knee replacement is inevitable but I'm feeling a little better for now. Between the holidays, winter weather and procrastination I have been just not exercising.

This week I got to Planet Fitness three times. I did weights for 30 minutes and then 30 minutes on the stationary bike. There were a lot of mental calisthenics leading up to going back. I'm pretty mad at myself for gaining back some weight. Some days I feel like I have completely relapsed but thanks to recent pictures from others I see that I still look a lot better than before my weight loss surgery. Sure, some of my clothes don't fit but I had to buy something for a funeral a couple of weeks ago and I was able to get something that fit in a regular store. There was a time when I could hardly find something my size i
n a plus-size shop.

I'm having a long look at my life this year because on my birthday I'll be crossing into a new decade. One of my biggest fixations is my lack of planning. I approach my later life with no clear goals for retirement and no concrete ideas of how we'll survive financially. One thing is clear, however. It is better to be healthy. Fitness helps. Active senior citizens have better mental function. While I'm not claiming membership with the "Gray Panthers" anytime soon I need to make changes before I get there. I do feel better when I exercise.

I got back to my routine for an entire week. I look at that as a triumph.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Challenges and visits from Chuck

2012-11-20T22:21:00.000-05:00

Life doesn't stand still. After my first major weight loss, at age 21, I thought all my problems would be solved if I were thin. My doctor told me my back pain would go away and my skin would clear up. I'd had a problem with my hands becoming very cold at times. My doctor told me that my heavy arms were impeding the circulation to my fingers. Again, weight loss was the answer. I was sure I'd find Mr. Right and he'd sweep me off my feet and we'd ride off into the sunset, living happily ever after in domestic bliss. None of those things happened. Problems arose at the usual rate and eventually I gained back what I'd lost. My coping techniques still included comfort foods. This scenario repeated itself over the next three decades until I finally had weight loss surgery.

Bariatric surgery has been a helpful tool in losing and seems more resistant to relapsing than when left completely to my own devices. I've read that the possibility of stretching my pouch is not as likely as I had thought. Indeed I've recently had two visits from "Chuck" which were a reminder to me that I still do not have a normal stomach. Regaining weight is usually due to poor eating habits and I have been eating more carbs lately than I should. I have been avoiding the scale lately.

One day recently I came home from work to find my daughter had made beef stroganoff which was absolutely delicious. I took what I considered a small portion and ate it a little too quickly. I felt overstuffed and ultimately I had to throw it up. I felt bad because I thought that this was insulting to my daughter's cooking. She said that she is actually flattered when this happens. When I like something she's made so much that I eat it too fast it must be really, really tasty.

We had an opera production of Boito's Mefistofele during October. It was wonderful to do this opera again after my first time six years ago. Ordinarily I have a little post-operatic depression afterwards but I didn't get a chance because of some severe weather events. Instead we had multiple stressors from Mother Nature.

Cut off from the world by a tree.

An electrical nightmare.

Our area was hit by hurricane Sandy the day after the final performance of the opera. Trees were down and our dead-end road was blocked. Utility poles were snapped in two and lying in the street. My neighbors took the situation in hand and wielding chainsaws, they cut enough off the huge fallen spruce tree to open up the road.

Nobody came to rescue us so my neighbors got to work with their chainsaws.
There were wires down but they were dead and not an active hazard.

Our hero. My niece's husband Bob
who loaned us his generator.

Shelf stable milk

While our house survived intact, we were without power for eleven days. My cell service was out because of a fallen AT&T tower. We felt isolated and stressed. Lighting was either candles or flashlights. Batteries were difficult to find in the stores. We'd stocked up but ran low. We felt like refugees in our own home.

We had a generator for nearly half of that time but it presented unfamiliar challenges to post bariatric surgery eating. We could not even find ice for the first four days of our powerless period. I found a store that had Parmalat milk which does not need refrigeration. We ate a lot of peanut butter sandwiches, and foil-packaged tuna salad. I had cans of kippered herring which I took in my lunch box to work. I bought apples, oranges and bananas for snacking. I cooked scrambled eggs on the barbecue grill (in a skillet, naturally) and one day I browned some SPAM cubes and mixed it with canned baked beans. Since the storm two days before Halloween it put a damper on the festivities. We did get a few trick-or-treaters but were left with way too much candy. Fresh vegetables were impossible to keep on hand so we did without except for some tomatoes we'd had left from the garden. We had to throw out nearly everything from the fridge and freezer.

I found that cooking on a gas grill is tricky when it's too dark to see what I'm cooking. It's also not fun when there's cold drizzle raining into the pan. I didn't want to make anything that took too long to cook in case we couldn't find refills for the propane tanks. This type of survival eating gets old pretty quickly. When we were loaned a generator on the sixth day we had lights, heat, refrigeration and hot water. We could not power our electric stove or our laundry equipment. Surprisingly our electric clocks sped up when the generator was running! It cost us $50. per day for gasoline to keep the power on. An unfortunate victim was our computer which suffered burnout of critical chips.

No gas here today.

Filling tanks for the generator

Gasoline for the generator was not only expensive, it was hard to find. Reminiscent of the 1970's Arab oil embargo, many stations either did not have power or gas. Those that did have gas had long lines. There were some arguments and even a few fistfights as people were stressed out trying to get what they needed. Like in the 70's some areas went to odd/even rationing using the last digit of license plates. While stations back then displayed either red or green flags to show if they were pumping gas.the stations now either used caution tape around the station or plastic bags over the pump handles if there was no fuel available.

Snow didn't stop the Wisconsin workers for long.

Nine days after the hurricane hit we got our first major snow storm of the year. By this time we'd only had fleeting glimpses of repair trucks from the local electric company. There were so many affected areas more concentrated in population that our little neighborhood didn't get much attention. When the "Noreaster" storm hit we were afraid the efforts to return our power would grind to a screeching halt. When the flakes started falling though trucks from Wisconsin worked till the wind got too strong. The next day our power was back. It took three more days to get the phones and the cable working.

Alliant Energy from Wisconsin
gave us back our power.

Smiling Mormon Helping Hands

Three weeks after the storm we're pretty much back to normal. Further south, there are many still in poor shape. Queens and Staten Island, NY have widespread areas of devastation. Last weekend I went, with members of my church, as part of Mormon Helping Hands, to help victims of the storm. Our usual church meetings were cancelled. We met briefly at the church, boarded school buses and made our way to Far Rockaway, Queens. Other groups went to Staten Island. That day alone over 4000 people spent eight hours working for anyone who needed help. Large areas were flooded and many are still without power. Some homes are completely uninhabitable while others were washed away. There were still boats stranded on streets and high water marks were on many homes and fences. We spent the day cleaning out accumulated sand and silt, demolition of moldy walls and removal of debris. The people were happy to have help and we headed home at the end of the day tired but smiling.

Demolition team

My son and me ready to head home after a long day.

Back on the bus, I had an orange left from the lunch I'd brought with me. I started eating it but it wasn't a very juicy orange and it felt like my pouch was getting jammed up so I didn't finish it. After riding a little while we stopped and our leader, Bishop Franklin, bought pizza for everyone. I shouldn't have tried to eat it because I knew my pouch was already too full. It smelled so good though I started eating a slice and was soon very sorry. I knew I needed to throw up but there was nowhere to stop on the congested highway. Thinking I could make it home, I tried to just ignore my stomach.

Riding on the bumpy city roads in a school bus did not help my situation. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. I tapped a nearby person on the shoulder for help. I was quickly handed a paper bag which I promptly used. He then handed me a plastic trash bag so I could stow my barf bag. Relieved of my excess stomach contents I rode the rest of the way in relative comfort.

I haven't had two visits from "Chuck" in a long time. Its a wake up to the fact that I still have control of my own destiny. My pouch still works. I just need to be more diligent about what I put into it.

Love to all,

Marlena of Mohegan

Guest Blogger with Terrific Giveaway!

2012-09-30T15:35:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite bloggers is having a BIG GIVEAWAY to celebrate 10,000 Facebook likes. For those who are contemplating or who have had bariatric surgery this blog is a must-see for tips, recipes and inspiration. Be sure to enter for the prizes but don't forget to try her recipes.

http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/

The Eggface BIG 10,000 Giveaway

While I was away at Fitbloggin' last weekend we hit the 10,000 friends mark on The World According to Eggface Facebook page! To say thank you for taking this journey to better health with me and for always sharing the blog and Facebook page with your pals. I'm doing a HUGE GIVEAWAY!

Sharing this ride with all of you and never feeling alone is AWESOME! Thank you!

The Prize: A Nike Gym Bag Hit the gym, pool, or dance class in style and it's jam packed with some of my post weight loss surgery bariatric favorites...

Celebrate Vitamins Calcium Plus 500 (Chewable Berries and Cream) 90 ct.
Celebrate Vitamins Multivitamin (Chewable Pineapple Strawberry) 60 ct.
Celebrate Vitamins 30mg Iron + C (Chewable Grape) 30 ct.

3 single serving packets of Celebrate Vitamins ENS in Vanilla Cake Batter, Chocolate Milk, and Strawberry flavors (each delicious shake contains a high potency multivitamin, 500 mg of calcium citrate, 4 g of fiber, and 25 g of whey isolate protein in each serving)

5 single serving sticks of Celebrate Vitamins Multivitamin and Calcium Drink Mix (Cranberry Grape flavor)

1 30 ct. Box Calcet Lemon Cream 500mg Calcium Citrate Creamy Bites

1 tub of CLICK Espresso Protein (Mocha Flavor)

2 single serving packs of Syntrax Chocolate Truffle and Vanilla Bean Torte Protein Powder

1 Oh Yeah Ready-to-Drink Vanilla Creme Shake

3 Quest Protein Bars (Wild Berry, Apple Pie, Vanilla Almond flavors)

2 Premier Titan High Protein Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

2 Sample Packs of PB2 Peanut Butter Thins

Chike Nutrition 6 packet Protein Variety Pack (1 of each flavor: Chocolate Bliss, Very Vanilla, Strawberry Burst, Banana Magic, Orange Creme and High Protein Iced Coffee)

1 Mini Sampler Set of Sugar Free Torani Syrups (4 - 150 ml mini bottles in SF Caramel, SF Raspberry, SF Vanilla, and SF Hazelnut)

Big Train 5 packet Fit Frappe Protein Variety Pack (1 of each flavor: Chocolate, Espresso, Mocha, Vanilla, Vanilla Latte)

Big Train Reusable Tumbler Cup

1 Blue 28 oz. Blender Bottle Shaker

How to Enter: Like The World According to Eggface on Facebook. Come back here and LEAVE A COMMENT (include a name and an email addy) on this blog posting. Scroll down to # of comments to leave yours. Do not leave on Facebook (they have rules about it.)

Contest periods ends: Sunday October 7th, midnight (Pacific time)

Monday, October 8th I'll draw a name using a random number generator and announce the winner here on the blog! I will also email the winner at the address posted. You'll have one week (7 days) to respond to my email or another winner will be chosen. Remember winners MUST be a Facebook friend of The World According to Eggface. One ENTRY per person. Blog comments are moderated so there may be a slight delay (up to a few hours) in seeing your comment/entry post. Giveaway is open to anyone in the United States (48 contiguous, Alaska & Hawaii.)

Good luck everyone!

Love to all,

Marlena of Mohegan

Sunday Afternoon Ambulation

2012-09-23T22:51:00.001-04:00

I seem to have trouble staying active on Sunday. I go to church where I am the nursery leader. After our main meeting, I spend two hours corralling a herd of two-year olds. Yes, you read right. Three hours of church. Every week.

Late afternoon shadow.

Sunny day for my walk.

Anyway, after the nursery rodeo I come home, have lunch while playing on the computer and then go up to my bed to read for a while. My reading usually turns into a nap. I don't really like to head for the gym on Sunday and today I really wanted some family time. I had a great idea to go with my daughter's family and head for a nearby place I've wanted to see for quite a while. The Walkway Over the Hudson is a former railroad bridge turned into a New York State Park. It is 1.28 miles long and 212 feet above the Hudson river.

Southward view from mid-span.

It was a perfectly clear day with the temperature and humidity just right. A little breeze but not too much. There were all ages of people walking, running, riding bicycles, tricycles, wheelchairs and scooters. Lots of dogs. One couple had a very old dog riding in a wagon. Like any open space in New York, the faces were from all parts of the world. Today was a whole lot better than laps around the track.

Love to all, Marlena of Mohegan

View of the longest pedestrian bridge in the world.

Labor Day

2012-09-03T23:29:00.000-04:00

Today while grocery shopping I was surprised to discover that Sunsweet is marketing chocolate covered prunes! While they may call them Plum Sweets they are really just prunes in disguise. I suppose this is another result of the great glut of humanity known as the "Baby Boomers" becoming obsessed with "regularity" as we age. What next?

I had to hustle to get to Planet Fitness today because they closed at 1PM for the Labor Day Holiday. I was surprised to find the place packed with people when I arrived about 11:45. Only one upright stationary bike was vacant at the time and I was glad I didn't have to resort to the recumbent bike (my butt gets numb on those).

While on the bike I glanced at the row of TV's not expecting to find anything outside the usual daytime drivel. I was not anticipating something that would make me cry. On the show "Inside Edition" there was a report of a viral video showing Matt, a young boy with cerebral palsy running a 400 meter race. He faltered painfully but before he could give up his gym teacher ran up next to him and gave him words of encouragement. His classmates joined in behind him and gave him the incentive he needed to finish the race. It was a beautiful moment even though I was not connected to the audio feed. Below, find a link to Inside Edition write-up.

News - Boy With Cerebral Palsy Triumphs At Elementary School Field Day - InsideEdition.com

Then view the video on You tube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6Alt2DssYc

My struggles pale by comparison to this brave kid. To boldly start a race he knew he couldn't possibly win puts to shame all of us who whine and complain about our lack of will power. Winning isn't always about finishing first. Sometimes triumph comes by not giving up.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

The Thrill of Victory...NOT!

2012-08-14T19:10:00.000-04:00

I finally got tired of my knee having the spasms that woke me up a few weeks ago. On Saturday I went to work all tightened up. When I flexed the knee there was this horrible grinding accompanied by pain. The crepitis was so bad I could actually hear it. One of my co-workers was nice enough to switch assignments with me so I could be at the triage desk. Working triage has a lot less running around. By the next day I was better but every time I get up from sitting I felt like it might go out again. One physician assistant who used to work with an orthopedic group felt I should really have an MRI and be seen by my ortho doc.

So today I had an MRI and went to see Dr. Brand. He told me that I have a small meniscus tear on the opposite side of the knee along with a lot of arthritis. This type of pain I've had before in the other knee. The MRI doesn't show the problem that hurts the most. He feels I have ileo-tibial band syndrome. This is an inflammation of the band of muscle and tendon that stretches from the buttock area to the outer side of the knee. It often affects runners or cyclists. This is exactly what my friend, the yoga guru, told me it was. The doctor gave me a corticosteroid injection which should help. He says I should be able to get back to exercising in two days. If I'm not doing better after a couple of weeks he will have me do physical therapy.

Not exercising is no longer an option for me. I'm rather stressed that I can't do it right now. Someone suggested swimming rather than cycling but I don't belong to a gym that has a pool. The only one in the area with a pool is much more expensive than Planet Fitness. I almost went to a yoga class last week. My friend has a class on Thursday evening and if my knee feels up to it I'm gonna do it. Then I can get back to the gym on Friday.

It's pretty typical of me to find some way to hurt myself doing an athletic activity. I'll focus more on warming up and cooling down from now on. I'd never thought riding a bike needed that type of thing. Usually I tried to start off slowly and gradually increase the RPM's I incorporated the yoga stretches but I guess they were too little too late to cure my pain. Hopefully the yoga will help me heal.

One of the US Olympic gymnasts competed with a fractured toe. I saw a close-up photo of her bruised and battered foot. When the interviewer asked if the injury meant she was spending a lot of time being iced after training and competing, she replied that they all always do that anyway. They deal with pain all the time. It's hard to imagine when you see them flinging themselves all over the place. The trick is knowing what the pain is telling you. Some pain means you need to stop. I saw one short-distance runner slow down and drop out of his race. He said his ham-strings weren't right. If he continued to run that race there might have been irreparable damage. After the years of training for the Olympics it must have been devastating to give up but he listened to his body.


Ouch!

I am not and never have been a competitive athlete. Oh, I was on a bowling team for a while, but I have never been possessed of the type of drive to win at all costs. My only opponent is myself. I just want to get in better shape no matter how much my inner self wants to sit on my ass.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Bottoming Out in the Wee Hours

2012-08-09T01:00:00.001-04:00

No Pop Tarts

I've really got to give myself a kick in the butt. Last night I was needing something to munch on and found a stash of Pop Tarts that somebody in my family had hidden.The sad thing is that they really don't taste all that great for the amount of calories they have. Nevertheless, I ate two of them around midnight. I've always felt that the manufacturer forces you to eat two at a time because there are two in each wrapper. If you only eat one then the poor, lonely other one gets stale. (Yeah, right). Anyway late night snacking is a constant temptation for me but last night it really backfired.

I went to bed around one a.m.. Why I stayed up so late when I had to work in the morning is another issue. I'm just not ready for bed before midnight especially when I've been to the gym in the evening. At around 2:30, I awoke dying of thirst. I stumbled, literally, to the bathroom. As I got my drink I felt very sweaty and uncoordinated. I felt like my blood sugar was really low. I didn't want to wake anyone to get me something to bring the glucose level up but I had to do something. I grabbed my husband's bottle of TUMS and poured out about five of them. I chewed them up and soon felt better and went back to sleep.

I was amazed that I woke up in that condition. I always thought if your sugar bottomed out when you were sleeping that you might just not wake up at all. I felt fine in the morning, although more than tired from only getting a few hours of uninterrupted slumber.

Apparently there are no existing depictions of women who snore.

Today after work I went to Trader Joe's and got some munchies with less sugar. I bought low fat cheese sticks, fresh cherries and protein muffins. I can get carried away with cheese but at least it doesn't affect my blood glucose level! I'm up late again tonight but at least I'm off tomorrow.

On a good note, today was a really busy day at work. Normally I'm grabbing those little packs of graham crackers when it looks like I'm not going to get lunch. I resisted all day long. I got a Greek yogurt from a vending machine instead. So see, I can have will power once in a while. I'm not consistent but there is hope.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

A Day at the Beach

2012-08-04T19:31:00.000-04:00

Aah, the beach. As in ocean. It's been years since I braved the beach. After my weight loss surgery and dropping 170 lbs. I have still been reluctant to be seen in a swimsuit. But last Friday I was off work and the waves beckoned to me. I went with my daughter and grandson to Jones Beach on Long Island. As the crow flies it isn't that far but a trip to Long Island from my home in Westchester County, NY requires driving through the Bronx and Queens and over a toll bridge. It's worth the traffic though because it is an amazingly beautiful beach. No commercial signs or businesses are in sight of the place. No high rise hotels or restaurants. Just beach.

The waves were not super rough but enough that I got knocked over a couple of times. The undertow was pretty strong too. I found that my knee problems make keeping my balance in the surf more difficult than it used to be. I don't know how to explain it except that my knees felt loose. I guess that qualifies as unstable knees.

My feet at Jones Beach

Still the sheer exhilaration of ocean swimming makes lake or pool swimming boring by comparison. I don't go to the ocean often but I like to know that it is nearby when I want it. I feel sorry for all the people who live too far inland to get there easily.

Enzo and his Mommy in the surf.

This was my grandson's first time in salt water (tasted yucky) and in real waves. He absolutely loved the water and didn't mind getting knocked over once in a while. He was thrilled that there was more sand than in his wildest dreams. Of course even though his mom rinsed him off he still brought a lot of sand back home.

Before my weight loss surgery I could not have managed a day like this. I was in such poor health I could not have walked to the water from my car. It is wonderful to be able to share something I love with my grandson for the first time. Such simple pleasures are often the best memories.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Knee Trouble

2012-07-28T21:42:00.002-04:00

A week ago my right knee seized up in pain and woke me up out of a sound sleep. Keep in mind that my right knee is my GOOD knee. (I once had a meniscus tear and arthroscopic surgery on the left knee.) My mother said it was because my husband kicked me in bed (good ol' Mom) but he sleeps on the left side of the bed and couldn't really reach my right side if he wanted to. It was almost like a spasm in one of the lateral ligaments. I had similar spasms on the left knee but not as bad. I couldn't seem to work it out with the usual ice, anti inflammatory tablets and elevation. It was a little better the next day but I still had to walk gingerly. I did miss one day of work but I didn't want to take any more time off. I limped back to work on Tuesday and lasted the rest of the week.

My friend, the yoga guru, suggested that my problem is tightness in my hips. Because of my exercise routine on the stationary bike I may have too much tension in my hips causing the stress to the knee. She showed me some hip stretches and I've been doing them every day. I also stretched before and after my cycling at the gym today. I think it helps.

I had a visit with the dietitian last week. She gave me some new ideas for keeping control of my snacking. It mainly goes back to the basics of keeping track of intake and adequate fluid intake. She also suggested a behavior modification group for weight loss surgery patients.

I've been a little down because of my dental situation. I was in a lot of pain and couldn't really chew for a couple of weeks. I really wasn't able to eat salads or anything crunchy. I still can't manage protein bars at all but I was getting a little carried away with those anyway. I'm adjusting slowly and today I did eat a small amount of salad.

The good news is that TCBY just opened a store a mere mile from my home. They have one sugar free flavor at a time. Today strawberry. Fresh fruit toppings and sugar free hot fudge! Yum!! We're also getting a Pizza Hut and IHOP but those are both off limits!

Its a never-ending battle to stay healthy. This hasn't been the first time in my life when my attempts to exercise caused pain. I wrote about those in a post some time ago. I think I may seek out a Physiatrist.

Physiatrists, or rehabilitation physicians, are nerve, muscle, and bone experts who treat injuries or illnesses that affect how you move

Rehabilitation physicians are medical doctors who have completed training in the medical specialty of physical medicine and rehabilitation The job of a rehabilitation physician is to treat any disability resulting from disease or injury, from sore shoulders to spinal cord injuries. The focus is on the development of a comprehensive program for putting the pieces of a person's life back together after injury or disease – without surgery.

This sounds exactly like what I need. Now I need to find one and see if my health insurance will cover this.

Love to all,

Marlena of Mohegan.

Anniversary Waltz

2012-06-30T21:19:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm not actually waltzing but a couple of days ago I reached my second anniversary of my gastric bypass. I had my yearly follow-up visit with my surgeon's office. They feel I'm doing fine in spite of the fact that I've gained a few pounds. According to the official office scale I'm up 14 lbs from my lowest. For me its a warning beacon to start working harder because I want to lose about sixty more pounds.

There are habits I need to break but I haven't gone completely wacko here. I still abstain from carbonated beverages which could inflate my pouch. I've had a little sugar here and there but I don't go crazy. I don't drink fluids during or right after meals. I still exercise! I faithfully get to the gym a minimum of three days per week. This past week I've doubled my reps on my weight training. I sometimes walk laps at the school track. One day I actually jogged a little in the last quarter of the lap. I try to skip the high impact stuff but I felt good enough to jog a little that day.

I've been scheduled for a visit with the dietitian in a couple of weeks. I think a little tune up will do me good. Besides I want to learn more about carbs. Some packages talk about net carbs. So some don't count? Does this make any difference? Hopefully I'll get some insight here.

I'm scheduled for some extensive dental work next week. I have several problem teeth that were negatively affected by my diabetes. I know I don't really chew properly. I think if I get my teeth in better shape I'll be able to chew my food better instead of swallowing too soon.

It's discouraging to backslide but if I look at old pictures of myself I'm reminded that I've come a long, long way. I got my life back. Thanks Dr. Choi. Thanks to all my doctors who encouraged me to have my weight loss surgery. Thanks to all my family and friends who supported my efforts.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Still Hanging in There

2012-05-21T23:11:00.000-04:00

The other day a belligerent, drug-seeking patient told me he hated the woman "over there" with the curly hair and eyeglasses. I looked over at the desk where the only occupant was a security guard who did not fit that description. I told him there was nobody there who had curly hair and glasses. He looked me straight in the eye and said "you do". Realizing it was me he hated I was delighted that he did not use any reference to my weight when he was insulting me. It's nice to know that it wasn't my most obvious characteristic.

Some days I really don't feel like going to the gym. But I do it. I'm trying to keep my daily steps over 7000 on non-gym days. I moved my pedometer to my hip which seems to register more steps than where I had it before. Some days I get careless with my eating but I try to avoid empty calories. Wendy's had brought back my favorite salad for the summer. The berry almond chicken salad has big strawberries and blueberries with grilled chicken, sliced almonds and a raspberry vinaigrette dressing. It does not taste like salad from a bag but fresh and delicious. So far I've had it twice in the past three days.

Usually I bring a Lean Cuisine for lunch but today I brought some leftover salad from home. (Not the Wendy's salad. I never have any of that left over). It had lots of cut up cucumbers and radishes and I topped it with some shrimp. With only 30 minutes for lunch I didn't have enough time to finish all the crispy veggies. There was just too much to chew in that amount of time. I ended up bringing them home and eating them with dinner. It is sad to say though that our workday rush is not suited to a nice healthy salad with lots of fiber.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

My New Blog

2012-05-19T17:50:00.000-04:00

I've started a new blog to chronicle my adventures as a nurse over the past 34 years. I plan to add experiences of other nurses to my own. You are all invited to read NURSICLE.

http://nursicle.blogspot.com/

Love,
Marlena of Mohegan

Sticky

2012-05-15T01:09:00.000-04:00

Our winter in the northeast this year was pretty mild. We had very little snow accumulation and an early spring. April showers were rare and everything bloomed much earlier than usual. I liked it. It was nice to have relatively few frozen schleps to work. With so few storms I had less weather-related aches and pains. One could get used to this. In fact, I did once. I lived in Utah for ten years. I especially enjoyed the lack of humidity in the summertime. Our dry spring was almost like being out there.

Then came May. We're making up our rain deficit now. For the past two weeks most days have been damp and dreary. My knees and fingers are achy. It's been warm and sticky, especially at the gym.

Certain adaptations are needed for either climate. In hot, humid weather salt clumps up in the salt shakers. My mom always put some dry rice in her salt shakers to combat this problem. Crispy foods like chips and crackers must be sealed well so they don't get soggy. Bread gets moldy unless you keep it in the fridge. In Utah chips and crackers stay nice and crisp but bread gets stale very quickly. Lawn watering is mandatory in many municipalities out west because grass won't grow unless irrigated. In the east most lawns don't require routine watering. In fact, during drought years communities often prohibit lawn-watering and car-washing.

Air conditioning in arid regions is more likely to be done with evaporative coolers. I had a friend who made one out of a window fan, a furnace filter and some copper tubing. She dripped water from the tubing onto the furnace filter which was suspended in front of the fan. The water was collected in a tray under the fan and was then piped to her garden. This worked surprisingly well. When moisture was added to the room by the fan it left you feeling cooler when the dry air absorbed it. In damp regions this would not work at all. The air is already saturated with moisture so nothing else gets absorbed. The wetness just sticks to you and your clothes. Many homes need a dehumidifier to combat mold and mildew.

I started thinking about all this tonight at the gym. The dampness caused clouds of condensation on the windows from all the sweating going on inside. The air was redolent with the scent of "eau de armpit". I kept thinking about how much I hate sweating. I don't like touching sweaty people. Even worse is getting dripped on by someone else's perspiration. I don't enjoy my body parts sticking to each other without my permission.

On the other hand, my hair curls better in the humidity. If I'd stayed permanently in someplace arid I might be more wrinkled by now. I'd choose curly hair and less wrinkles over crispy chips any time.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

What Are You Waiting For?

2012-05-05T19:40:00.001-04:00

Camels galore but no pigs.

A friend and fellow blogger is now living in Saudi Arabia. Her family relocated while her husband is working there. While she enjoys the cultural experiences there are sacrifices. She has lamented in her blog about missing certain foods from home, especially pork, which is not available in any form in that country. She said she'd kill for a pork chop. I've never lived in a foreign country but when I resided in Utah, I craved certain food staples from NY that were not available there. It was annoying but it was not as much of a challenge as living abroad. My friend's plight got me to thinking about the mental obstacles I faced when considering bariatric surgery.

Among other considerations, the commitments to bariatric surgery include forgoing certain foods. Some temporarily and some forever. Facing this obstacle was not easy. We form loving relationships with our food. After all, we do not eat just to make the hunger go away (actually that's a mantra of a fond but annoyingly thin friend of mine) We eat to celebrate, to console and to mourn. We share favorite foods to comfort, to love and to reward. In spite of our regrets for our lack of control we are reluctant to give up those things that we truly love.

One of the big no-no's after bariatric surgery is carbonated beverages. The carbonation can stretch the pouch and, in the early post-op period, even undo the staples. This was a HUGE hurdle for me. I drank a lot of diet coke. (I'd drink caffeine free diet Coke when available so it was not only for a buzz.). On the day before my surgery I was only allowed liquids. Much of it was diet Coke. Now, nearly two years later, I don't really miss it. It didn't kill me.

Anything with sugar as a major ingredient is forbidden because of the risk of dumping syndrome. Solid food was out of bounds for months. Even now a few foods can cause pouch blockage and only be relieved by vomiting. It was really difficult to commit to living without this stuff. But, as my bacon-loving friend who voluntarily moved to a pork-free country would attest, the benefits of choosing to make these adjustments in my life was worth it.

Last night my husband and I went to a wonderful wedding reception. There were tuxedo'd waiters circling with yummy appetizers and a middle eastern dipping table. I enjoy this type of tidbit eating where one gets to eat just a bite of something good. The non-alcoholic bar mixed up fruit smoothies. Later, there were three buffet stations. One salad, one cold foods and one hot foods. The cold food buffet had some delicious cold salmon. I was filled up by the time I finished my salad and cold food choices. I never made it to the hot food table. I itched a little to see what I was missing out on even though I had no room for anything else. In the end I just gave it up. I really didn't need anything else. Later on I got the bartender to mix me up a sugar free smoothie (they found some artificial sweetener for me).

When deciding about weight-loss surgery some people get snagged up because they feel they won't be able to enjoy social situations afterwards. One of my motivations for doing this blog is to encourage friends and family members to make healthier choices. Perhaps reading about my experiences will inspire them to choose weight-loss surgery. This path is not right for everyone but other choices may be made which can improve your life.

There are so many things I could not do two years ago. Back then I could barely make the walk from my driveway to my house. I'm so glad I had my gastric bypass. I enjoy my life so much more than I did before.

Donald Loyal Reynolds 1948-2012

I lost a cousin this week who had a year-long battle with pancreatic cancer. Some people in their 60's go to bingo and sit in a rocking chair. At 63 years old Don was training for an iron man competition when the diagnosis was made. Now, at 64, he is gone.

We never know what life has in store for us around the next bend in the road. It is worth the effort to make the most of our time here while we have the chance. You were an inspiration Don.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Not Available in Stores

2012-05-03T16:18:00.000-04:00

In my last post I mentioned a product I'd seen on an infomercial. Some people find these marathon commercials entertaining. I'd rather avoid all types of TV ads thank you.

Billy Mays

Some of the personalities who've hawked products in this way have reached celebrity or notoriety for themselves as well as their products. One household name was Billy Mays, who proclaimed the wonders of Oxyclean, Kaboom, Orange Glo and Zorbeez. His death at age 50 was well touted in the media and had he not died the same week as Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett we might have seen his funeral on TV.

Ron Popeil and the Veg -o-matic.

TV hucksters have been at it as long as there has been TV. Back in the 60's Ron Popeil sold millions of the VEG-O-MATIC food slicer and dicer. He ultimately earned two billion dollars with this product and others including the "Pocket Fisherman", "Smokeless Ashtray" and the "Inside the Egg Scrambler". He was hilariously parodied on Saturday Night Live by Dan Akroyd with the "Bass-O-Matic" (check this out on you tube) and also mocked by the comedian Gallagher with his "Sledge-o-matic" routine. Weird Al Yankovic recorded the musical salute "Mr. Popeil".

Slice up a beer can with your Ginsu knife

In the early 1980's the Ginsu Knife was on late night TV almost constantly. Since I worked swing shift I got a lot of exposure to this so I got sucked in and bought a set. My first ever stitches were from a wound on my thumb slicing turkey with my Ginsu steak knife. It made a nice little serrated pattern in the skin. The end of my thumb was numb for about ten years. I still have some of the knives from the set. One eventually had a broken handle but I threw it out without trying to cash in on the fifty year guarantee. Call me frivolous.

Crank those skins away with the Rotato

The "Rotato" seemed like a interesting concept. It is a potato peeler that does the job by turning a crank. It worked really well on TV but I didn't feel like spending $19.95 on a potato peeler. Apparently I wasn't the only one who felt this way. I found one in a liquidation store for $1.99 and brought it home. I didn't even make it halfway through the first potato before the blade broke. It had spare blades but I used them all up before I finished the maiden spud.

She loves her Shake Weight

Men take the Shake Weight very seriously

Some concepts are a little suspect in my opinion. Is it me or does the "Shake Weight" exercise tool look like a sex toy?

Suzanne Somers and the Thighmaster

Remember Suzanne Somers and the "Thigh Master"? Was it her quads she was firming up or something else? I bought a Thigh Master at a yard sale for 50 cents. It didn't seem to have much impact on my thighs. A machine with a similar action at the gym is almost exclusively used by women. I'm thinking it was really meant to be used for kegel exercises (google this if you don't know what they are) but they didn't want to say that on TV back in the 1980's. In the 21st century Headset Vince can hawk the "Slap Chop" with statements like "you should see my nuts" and nobody blinks an eye.

We've seen the "Sham Wow", world's most absorbent cleaning cloth to the "Snuggie", easily the most frequently given Christmas gift of the 21st century. The infomercial style marketing has sold us the "Garden Weasel", "Chia Pets", "Krazy Glue" and "Liquid Leather". Have you been tempted or taken in with any of these marathon adfests? Let me know what item you couldn't resist. Did the item meet your expectations or did it just earn a drop kick to the dumpster? I'd love to share your story with my followers.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Caveat Emptor

2012-04-29T16:08:00.002-04:00

On Saturday, while I was on the stationery bike at the gym, I noticed on one of the TV screens an advertisement for a new weight loss product called Sensa. It is a powdery substance that is sprinkled on your food and it allegedly triggers your brain to know when you are full and stops you from eating too much. What I thought was a single commercial actually was an infomercial. There were lots of before and after comparisons with frowning droopy fat bodies and toned happy thinner bodies thanks to Sensa! I'm not planning on buying any. The infomercial genre does not work on me. If somebody needs to keep your attention for thirty or sixty minutes at a time to convince you to buy their product then it probably isn't worth buying. The claims of a new scientific breakthrough will probably impress a lot of people to waste their money. If something like this actually works word will get around.

I googled Sensa and found that the main ingredient is maltodextrin, which is a type of sugar made from cornstarch. It also contains silica and tricalcium phosphate, soy and some milk products. Nothing earth shattering here. $139!! For sugar, sand, calcium, soy and milk.

Weight loss parasite sold in early 20th century.

The market for weight loss products is increasing exponentially with the obesity rate. There is a lot of money to be made for the unethical, unscrupulous entrepreneur. Of course the idea of marketing a miracle weight loss is hardly new. In the early 20th century pills were available which supposedly contained eggs of tapeworms. The worms grow to about 15 feet in length and eat themselves silly on anything that passes their way. The idea of unlimited eating while losing weight is understandably appealing. However, a fifteen foot worm with an insatiable appetite must put on some poundage of its own. Opera soprano Maria Callas claimed to have used a tapeworm in this way although it was rumored to be an accidental ingestion. The fad never became widespread because, like so many others, it didn't really solve the problem and had many negative side effects like vomiting, diarrhea, organ damage and seizures. Getting rid of the worm might be problematic too.

Are you supposed to eat the soap?

Another present-day "miracle product" is green coffee extract. The claim here is malabsorption, which enables more eating with less consequences. In an article from the LA times I read that the product is inexpensive but extremely bitter tasting. The problem with limiting absorption of calories is that nutrients are not absorbed well either. This issue is addressed by gastric bypass patients with vitamin and protein supplements. Green coffee extract has had limited testing in India. The company is based in Texas but they conducted clinical trials in India? Aren't people starving over there? Did they have trouble finding enough obese individuals in this country? Hmmm.

Olestra, a fat substitute, sounded promising before it came on the market. It is a fat that cannot be absorbed by humans. Labled as Olean, it was marketed in snacks by Proctor and Gamble. In fine print was the warning that anal oil leakage was a possible side effect along with other "elimination changes". Imagine serving these snacks at a party and giving your guests this little problem to take home.

Xenical, a prescription medication and Alli, available over the counter, both contain Orlistat which blocks absorbtion of fat. Like Olestra, anal leakage and diarrhea are possible (probable) side effects. In order for this to work properly one must eat a low fat diet. I actually tried this product and quickly gave it up. The manufacturer should have suggested avoiding most fats for a week before beginning the medication. The onset of blocking occurs right away and what I'd eaten for the previous few days was targeted which made me socially unacceptable for a few days.

Hoodia, a product from a plant in the Kalahari Desert in Africa, reportedly decreases appetite. A study with a mere SEVEN participants (some of whom took a placebo) in Pennsylvania had a result of losing an average of 3.3% of their body weight in 28 days. There was a lot of advertising for Hoodia containing products for a while. I don't remember any mention that the " incredible scientific proof" was based on the outcome of such a small study.

All this is very discouraging to those of us who've struggled with weight loss. Self proclaimed "MIRACLES" are tempting. Consider the old adage "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is." The desperate are likely customers for promises of cures for not only obesity but also baldness, impotence, cancer and infertility. Some, but not all, are harmless. Others delay seeking of effective treatment because the advertised cure seems much more attractive. My advice is to research before buying any of this stuff. There is plenty of documentation on line to check out a product before spending money on something questionable.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Are We There Yet?

2012-04-27T00:01:00.001-04:00

It started as a simple question. After supper the other night my daughter asked if I'd like to go for a walk. I'd had a busy day at work and she'd been home all day with her 2-year-old son. We both needed a little diversion.

Our town has recently formed a network of trails for hiking and cycling. One is not far from our home and I've been wanting to check it out. When I mentioned this as my choice for our walk she reluctantly agreed. "Where does the trail go?" she asked. I really didn't know where it ended up but I knew it led to a newly built pedestrian bridge that spanned the nearby six-lane parkway. "How long is it?" I figured it couldn't be more than a mile or two.

Taconic Parkway pedestrian overpass or "bridge to nowhere"

We set off at an easy pace. The early spring evening was perfect weather-wise. Warm enough but not too hot or humid. The sky was clear and sunny. Now a trail that parallels a six-lane highway is not exactly a trip into the wilderness but we did have the whole thing to ourselves. I commented that it was nice not to have show-off skinny people leaving us in their dust. We could see the traffic on the parkway below us and on our other side we saw some backyards and some fences. Eventually the trail dipped down to wooded areas with a stream. We saw a family of deer and heard the evening peeping of frogs in the wetlands.

After about 30 minutes of wooded bliss my daughter asked "how far to the bridge?". I had no idea. It certainly didn't seem very far when I was driving on the highway. We kept going expecting the bridge to be around the next bend. It wasn't.

We came upon some wooden walkways over wetland areas. There were some pretty flowering trees in bloom. The trail moved further away from the highway once we were past the developed areas. At times, we couldn't see the road at all but were still within earshot. The sun had gotten low in the sky and we no longer saw our shadows. We passed a clearing where there had been a brush fire. The ground was charred and there was a smoky scent in the air. After we'd seen the deer I began to worry about ticks. I was thinking I should have worn light colored clothing so any ticks that hitched a ride would be visible when I got home.

"Is that a bear?" my daughter asked in a frightened voice. I laughed. Nobody had seen bears in our area in 100 years. In the twilight the big rock did resemble a bear. We'd been walking for close to an hour by this time. There were some steep hills and rough spots. We still hadn't seen the bridge and realized that it was getting dark enough that returning the way we came was going to be tricky. We started joking around about how embarrassing it would be to get lost so close to a main highway. We really weren't lost but nobody knew where we were. Neither one of us could carry the other if we got hurt. The trail didn't look like it was accessible to emergency vehicles. We did have our cell phones with us. The GPS showed our location as not near anything. By this time we started seeing bats flying in the trees. It would have been nice to bring along a flashlight.

Trailside wreckage.

In the darkness I saw what looked like a wrecked couch by the side of the trail but found it was the barely recognizable remains of a car. (The camera flash shows it better than we could see it.) I can't see how anyone could have gotten a car or a sofa to that inaccessible spot. We'd seen tire tracks of either ATV's or mountain bikes but no way could a full size vehicle drive there.

Finally the bridge was up ahead. We'd decided that when we got to the other side we'd call home and have someone come pick us up if we could figure out where we were. There was a bench and a kiosk near the bridge which we'd hoped would have some kind of map. No luck there. Only some historical photos of the parkway.

It was fun to be up above the road and watch the cars speeding below us. It was now way too dark to take a picture of our triumphant moment. We watched the cars for a bit then kept on walking.

After crossing the bridge we were nowhere near any road. We needed to go further on before we could have anybody drive to us. There were two marked trails to choose from. By this time my daughter had downloaded a bright flashlight app to her phone. The trail markers were reflective and we could follow them with the light from the phone. One trail led to Legacy Field and the other led to a nearby college campus. We had no idea how far the college was from where we were standing. The field was brightly illuminated and we could see it ahead. We started following the marks for that trail but soon we came to a steep slope that descended into the blackness of a deep, narrow valley. We turned back to the other trail not knowing how long it was. Fortunately this trail veered close to the lit-up field and I was getting pretty tired by this time. "Go to the light" I insisted. It was up a steep, rocky hill but but easy to see where I was stumbling. I felt, at this point, if I fell and sprained something EMS would be able to extricate me without a helicopter. .

We came out of the woods to a turf-covered field where a women's lacrosse game had just finished. Lots of people, cars, and even a Mr. Softee truck. We'd emerged from the wilderness! My daughter called her husband to come rescue us but the gps maps hadn't updated to show the road which led to where we were. We started walking toward the road as all the cars were leaving the field. Soon we were the only ones left in the park. Eventually my son-in-law pulled up and we gratefully climbed in.

We both enjoyed our little trek but next time I try something new I plan to prepare a little better. My concern for ticks is advisable in this area. Lyme disease, spread by the tiny deer tick, is all too common. Dressing properly in wooded areas helps prevent tick-borne illnesses. I won't go to an unknown area so close to darkness next time. A trail map would help too. I've done a little research now and found there are a lot more trails to explore. I'm lucky to have access to all these outdoor walkways. Our town doesn't have many sidewalks and I prefer a little off-road adventure to dodging traffic.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Some Days I Feel Like a Rat in a Skinner Box

2012-04-19T21:28:00.000-04:00

If you've ever taken Psych 101 in college you've heard of BF Skinner. He was a behavioral psychologist who experimented with rats and pigeons. He used "conditioning" to get the animals to perform tasks by rewarding them with food. He also used "negative reinforcement" such as an electric shock, to discourage certain behaviors. There were also mazes in which rats competed for food. I remember reading endless chapters filled with rat experiments until one day I went a little nuts. I started ranting that if I read about one more rat I was going to end up in a loony bin! My roommate had pity on me and dragged me away from my books to a movie.

BF Skinner and Friend

This morning for some reason old Skinner popped into my brain as I was on my way to work. I was in the midst of a line of cars that went right from the interstate, through all the stoplights to the parking garage. We all schlepped in through the access passageway, pushing door buttons, nodding at the security guards, scanning our badges, entering door codes and punching in at the time clock. It all seemed so mechanized.

My employee badge has both a bar code and a magnetic strip. I have to remember which end I'm supposed to use for punching in, opening doors and obtaining medications for dispensing. (all different) I also now use fingerprint ID for computer sign-on. I have five or six passwords for different functions some of which need to be changed monthly (more often if I forget it and need to call ITG for a new one). We just had to learn to use new IV pumps when our old ones were replaced with newer, more complicated models. Next week we begin using a new automated phone report for transfer of care between nursing units. I think I feel another rant coming on.

About 15 years ago our hospital began utilizing robots. Their names were Roscoe and Rosie (she was nothing like the Rosie on the Jetsons). The robots were used to deliver food trays or medical supplies. My reaction was a trifle negative because I felt that I'd rather see a robot that would empty bedpans. Now that's a job I'd happily give away! Roscoe and Rosie have been replaced by newer models but, like their predecessors, aren't any help in a CODE BROWN (a medical term).

Actually there really are only three functions at my job that have truly become easier since becoming computerized.

1. Dispensing narcotics.

2. Finding my charts.

3. Deciphering doctor's orders.

Since narcotics began being locked up someone had to have keys to get to them. There was only one set of narcotic keys allowed and the usual scenario was that whoever needed the keys didn't have them. The person who had the keys was the furthest from the cabinet. Lots of time was wasted in finding out who had the keys. They were inadvertently brought home, lost in a hamper full of dirty sheets or left hanging in the cabinet door. There was a lot of yelling "WHO'S GOT THE *#@$^%*X#+{@ keys?". Now just a badge swipe, a password and a drawer pops open. We don't have to count and reconcile the drugs either. Finding a shortage at the end of the shift meant a lot of harried chart searching to figure out who forgot to sign out a vial of morphine. Now we are instantly made aware of any discrepancy.

Charts tended to wander away from the desk. Doctors got their hands on them and hid them from the nurses. A chart could end up in doctor's pockets, the dictation room, X ray viewing room, or stuck to the back of another patient's chart. Some got stained with spilled coffee, blood or worse. If old charts were needed we had to wait for a glacially paced courier to deliver them from the file room. It often took days for the dictated charts to be typed. At one point the dictations were beamed to India by satellite and then the typed charts were faxed back to us. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP! (I couldn't believe this either the first time I heard about it) So while it is nice to be able to to have a chart at my fingertips any time I need it there is, of course, the down side to computer charting. We now have to do WAY more documentation than we ever did before.

Physicians' handwriting has long been notorious. I once worked with a surgeon who was so incredibly bad at penmanship that one time he asked me to read something he wrote because HE couldn't decipher it. His orders were usually easy for me to translate though because he ordered exactly the same things on every patient he had. I don't know why he didn't just buy a rubber stamp and save himself a lot of time. Now all our prescriptions completely legible. It must take all the mystery out of the pharmacists' days. No more AHA! I've got it! But surely a lot safer for everyone. The advantage of scribbling though meant if you were hauled into court you had carte blanche when you were quoting what you wrote. "Of course I did that. It says so right here! (Tlaobyemob slomont0 wa;oxhtbx;l gaodsfjhbasd a'zxc;lgaj[ep)."

So computers have made some tasks easier. What wasn't foreseen at the dawn of the computer age was that we were making more, not less, work for ourselves. We've certainly made more garbage. Discarded electronics are exponentially increasing our trash. Maybe that's why all those houses in The Jetson's were high above the ground. We never knew what lay underneath.

George Jetson and family

Love to all,

Marlena of Mohegan

Marlena Gone Viral?

2012-04-13T01:23:00.004-04:00

I'm not sure why but one of my posts has gotten over seven hundred hits. Strictly speaking that's not viral but it is a lot more hits than I usually get. The entry "Mr. DeMille I'm Ready For My Close Up" was published on April 1st. For some reason I'm getting hits from all over the world. Finland, Hungary, India, Ireland and even Slovakia. I looked at the stats from Blogger and they show a keyword tabulator. I looks like my reference or photo of the Titanic might have caused this. April 15, 1912 was the day the Titanic sank. Perhaps it is the 100th anniversary on the horizon which has caused my blog to show up on google searches. All these hits are not resulting in ad clicks or reader comments so I don't think all these people are actually reading what I've published. In any case, it is nice to feel popular.

Yesterday I went to the podiatrist. My endocrinologist likes me to go every year to make sure my diabetes has not affected my feet. Even though my glucose is perfectly under control I will remain a diabetic throughout my life. Anyway I needed a minor surgical procedure on my big toe. It is rather painful and it didn't help any that while I was at the grocery store today I hit it with my shopping cart. I had to miss the gym last night and today. But my doctor thinks I'll be able to resume my workout by Saturday. I have some pain medication that works well and if I can just keep away from balky shopping carts I should be fine.

I'd mentioned that I had several medical things to do that I'd put on the back burner because I was concentrating on my weight loss. I saw my dentist last week. My dental health has been negatively influenced by my diabetes. Before my weight loss surgery I felt like I was not going to be living much longer. I figured I wouldn't need teeth if I was dead. Now that my early demise seems less likely it was time to do something about my mouth.

I found that I have bone loss on my upper jaw and some serious issues with the upper teeth. This has affected my ability to chew efficiently which is important for bariatric surgery patients. It's hard to admit I could have taken better care of my teeth during my lifetime. Sometimes it is easy to ignore dental health if nothing hurts. That really was a mistake. So was letting my blood sugar get out of control. I could continue here to be negative about all the poor choices I've made but that's not where I'm trying to go. The main goal here is to improve my health in all areas. Clearing up the conditions which caused the bone loss will influence the well-being of my whole body.

The other day at the gym I noticed some handouts on the counter in the ladies locker room. The title on the page is "The SIZE of my Life" and refers to a book by the same name by Karen Cigna. Karen has published a memoir of her lifetime of dieting and being every size from size 2 through size 26 and learning to love herself unconditionally. The handout had a "diet" of ways to accept and nurture your self image. When I first started to read this I thought about a time in my life when I decided I was not going to diet anymore. I'd had enough of the vicious cycle of losing, regaining and exceeding the weight I'd been before I'd started. I figured I would do less damage by staying where I was. That thinking was flawed. Of course my weight didn't stay the same. I got bigger.

Some people are able to maintain a constant weight. Their activity, diet and personal metabolic rate are all nicely coordinated to keep them within 4 or 5 pounds of their ideal weight. I hate those people. Well perhaps hate is too strong of a word. How about despise, loathe, detest or maybe abhor? What I really feel is probably all that verbiage is aimed at myself for not being one of them.

There were a couple of times in my life when I controlled my weight without effort. The first time was when I was a freshman in college. I was on a limited food budget and did a lot of walking. I dated a guy with no car and a long stride. I played racquetball, hiked and worked a part-time job. I noticed my clothing becoming loose. It was wonderful. The spell broke when I went home for the summer. That year it rained for the entire month of June. I couldn't find a job and I spent a lot of time reading and eating. By the time I went back to school in September I'd managed to gain back what I'd lost.

The other time when I couldn't seem to gain weight was my second pregnancy. I had a lot of morning sickness during the first few months. All I could keep down were pretzels and diet Pepsi. By the time I got over all the nausea and vomiting we had one of the hottest summers of my life. I drank a lot of water and I sweat gallons. My doctor wanted me to have extra testing because I wasn't gaining enough weight. I went ballistic. I said "You people are never happy". During my previous pregnancy I kept hearing that I was gaining too much. This time I ended up gaining only 17 lbs. My baby weighed over 9 lbs. When you count the weight of the placenta and the amniotic fluid it came out pretty equal. Afterwards I could wear clothing that was too small when I became pregnant! Again, it was wonderful. Some women say breast feeding helps them to weight postpartum. It didn't work that way for me. Naturally.

So I've spent a lot of time and energy being negative and critical. It takes a lot of effort shift the focus to being positive. One by one I'm addressing my personal issues. I might check out Karen Cigna's book for some advice on feeding myself a diet of love. She has a website www.sizeofmylife.com.

One caveat though. I can love myself at any size but I still want to be at a healthier weight. I've reversed a lot of medical issues by losing 170 lbs. Some of the damage can't be repaired and I'll live with that. There's still room for improvement however, so I'm not giving up!

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Reality TV-Stephen King Saw It All Coming

2012-04-08T16:08:00.002-04:00

The Kardashians, The Goeslings, Pickers, Hoarders, Pawn Stars, Snooki, Biggest Loser, Bachelorettes, Redneck Weddings - WHERE WILL THE INSANITY END? Someone once said "You can't go wrong aiming for the lowest common denominator". All you have to do is pick any channel on the TV and there you are.

Maybe I'm weird but when I watch TV I like to be entertained. Reality TV doesn't really do much for me. I tried watching Trauma, Life and Death in the ER but it was too much like my job. I can't watch The Biggest Loser. I felt humiliated for the contestants. The criteria for elimination based on pounds lost is really unfair. Sometimes you work like hell, stick to your diet and your body doesn't want to give anything away that week. I did follow America's Got Talent and American Idol for a while. At least the contestants are trying to entertain an audience. Dancing With the Stars is ok. Again, the contestants are performing to the crowd as well as the judges.

I really prefer plot driven shows. Its much more enjoyable to take a little trip into a fictional world or historical era than it is to see the pale underbelly of society's misfits (either celebrity or not). I especially despise pseudo-celebrities who have no discernible talent for anything except being born to someone else who is wealthy or talented.

There are a lot of courtroom shows where people sue their former tenants, bff's or family members for unrepaid loans, damages or back rent. The most entertaining part of these shows is when one of the litigants is so sublimely stupid the judge has to point it out for him/her.

A little more worthwhile are shows with home repair or cooking which are, at least, semi-educational. Although, why I would want to cook something exotic in a limited amount of time is not abundantly clear. I wish I could have seen Holmes on Homes before I hired the Moron Brothers (that's only an alias) Construction Company to do renovations on my house. Mike uncovers improperly executed building and repair jobs and makes them right. The down sides of this show is that nobody ever talks about how much it costs to undo the damage or who pays for the repairs. Nor do they give tips on tracking down the slimeballs that trashed your home. .

Stephen King wrote a novel The Long Walk back while he was in college around 1967. Published in 1979, originally under his pseudonym Richard Bachman, it chronicles a future world game show/sporting event where 100 contestants walk against each other for a prize of anything they want for the rest of their lives. There is no second prize. Only the winner survives this race. The others are executed by rifle shots if they falter or drop out. The spectators and home viewers cheer, gawk and bet on the outcome. Like Nascar fans hoping to see a crash, the Long Walk offers the possibility of someone earning their "ticket" (death shot) while they watch. Extreme? Yes. Possible? Maybe someday. I think our voyeurism and. urges for sensationalism will ultimately lead to something of this caliber. We like being horrified. When The Long Walk was written Let's Make a Deal, Password, The Match Game and The Dating Game were typical shows. Today we are much closer to King's future world than I expected.

Jim Carrey's movie, The Truman Show, is another look at extreme reality TV. Poor Truman is a manufactured child in a manufactured world with spycams watching every facet of his life. He does not figure out till he is well into adulthood that everything about his existence is fake. At the end of the movie he emerges from his bubble into the outside. I almost had the urge for a sequel here to find out how Truman managed to adjust to the "real world" after leaving his "reality world".

I've toyed with the idea of my own reality show. I'd call it something like "Four Generation House". The "Baby Boomers", now also referred to as the "Sandwich Generation", have elderly parents and returning children (with THEIR children) living with them. This is the case in my house. So much for an empty nest. I don't know if there is a market for a show featuring seven people coexisting in an 85 year-old, 1500 square foot house with plumbing issues. Actually I'm not sure we could fit a TV crew in anywhere and still act like we don't know they're there. Would you be interested in watching our arguments about who is cooking tonight or who left the mess in the bathroom? What about the disaster of the back yard shed when the tree limb fell on it? Then there are the dysfunctional neighbors who feed and attract wildlife such as deer, groundhogs and skunks. Sound fascinating? Let me know if you're interested in sponsoring this exciting concept for a show.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

UPDATE 4/14/2012

When I wrote the above post I had forgotten that Stephen King had another published look at the future and the state of reality TV. "The Running Man", also initially published under under his pseudonym, takes place in a dismal 21st century world where the gap between the classes has become a huge abyss. "Freevee" is the airwaves anesthetic meant to entertain the poor and keep them content in their squalor. Like "The Long Walk" contestants risk death to compete for wealth. The GA, or games authority, rewards viewers for their participation leading to the demise of the contestants. The scariest part of this book is the ending which is an eerie predilection of the events of September 11, 2001.

I find it interesting to read stories of the future and live long enough to see what actually comes to pass. In Stephen King's 21st century we still drive mostly American cars (including Studebakers) and may smoke on airliners. Our inner cities have become completely lawless and OSHA doesn't seem to be doing anything for factory workers. Air pollution has become so toxic that personal nose filters are the only hope of avoiding lung cancer.

I wanted to read 1984 before the year got here and thankfully that world has not come to pass. However, webcams are more and more prevalent these days so Big Brother is able to keep an eye on us in public.
In the movie "Back to the Future II" the characters go forward to 2015, a mere three years away. I don't think we'll have flying cars by then. Jaws XV was currently showing and home-prepared fast food was done by rehydration. I'd like to be able to "beam up" like on Star Trek. I'd also like some of the home appliances from The Jetsons.

I'm veering off the subject of reality TV here. I hope it never gets to be as bad as Stephen King imagined. Viewers please find something else to do!

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan.

Fears, Real and Imaginary

2012-04-03T21:09:00.003-04:00

A couple of entries ago I mentioned my bathroom reading. If I don't see anything to read in someone's bathroom I might look in the medicine cabinet for a bottle of mouthwash or a box of Bandaids. I'm not particular. I once read in an advice column, probably Ann Landers or Dear Abby, an annoyed reader had a nosy friend who was always checking out her medicine cabinet. Ann or Abby suggested that when the nosy friend was expected over that the reader load her medicine cabinet with marbles. When the friend snooped the next time the marbles would cascade noisily in the sink give her away. Ever since I read this I've been worried about having this happening to me someday. Lately I usually find something on my cell phone to read which is much safer.

When I was about six years old my family was visiting friends. We were all sitting outside and I went in to use the bathroom which was upstairs. After I washed my hands I couldn't seem to turn off the water faucet. It hadn't occurred to me to try drying my hands first. The sink started filling up and I was getting worried. I had no idea that bathroom sinks have those little holes that let the water out if it gets too full. In my mind I saw a Looney Toons cartoon where a character filled up an entire bathroom because the tub overflowed. I started yelling frantically out the window so someone would rescue me before I had to start swimming. For a time there I was truly frightened that a disaster was imminent. Naturally the family had a good laugh at my expense.

We all have fears. I'm not overly afraid on insects or rodents but if I'm surprised by one I might scream. I like to tell myself that I don't have irrational fears or phobias but strictly speaking that's not true.

Look Ma No Hands!

At one time in my childhood I could ride my bike without holding onto the handlebars. I had a three speed bike and I could ride completely around our block without using the handlebars or the hand brakes. I was pretty impressed with myself. Unfortunately one day the gearshift, which was a little loose, slipped off the handlebar and got caught in the spokes of my front wheel while I was coasting down a hill. The front wheel stopped dead and the back wheel flipped over me. I took most of the impact on my forearms which were covered from elbows to wrists with "road rash". Though this all happened before anybody had heard of bike helmets, miraculously I didn't damage my head at all. My friend, who had seen the entire thing, said "I know you are in pain but that looked really cool". Style points notwithstanding, I hobbled home with my bike seeking some first aid from Mom. I healed without visible scars but I was never, ever able to ride "no hands" again. Not on that bike or any other. I certainly knew how but my brain would not let me.

For some reason I imagined that aerosol cans might explode in a suitcase in the non-pressurized luggage compartments on an airliner. When I left for college I did not want to pack any spray deodorant or hairspray and preferred to buy new cans when I got there. In all my flights through my whole life I've never packed any spray cans in my bags. I really don't use any personal products from aerosol cans nowadays so the issue is really moot. There are some unsolved airliner explosions though. You never know if they could have been caused by an depressurized can of Easy Cheez in someone's bag. Nobody suggested this fear to me. I made it up all by myself.

I'm not the most patient person regarding other people's fear and anxiety. (I tend to look away and roll my eyes). One time I was talking to my husband about riding horses and he stated emphatically "you're not getting me on a horse". I hadn't really planned to get him near any horse but I was intrigued by his response. I tried to get him to tell me why he feels this way and he got really annoyed. This got my curiosity even more aroused but after 28 years of marriage I still haven't gotten this secret out of him. I thought maybe his parents tried to force him onto a pony for a picture. His mother isn't saying. Anytime I want to get an argument started I can bring up the subject of horses and in no time at all we're there.

Cast of What's Eating Gilbert Grape?

Morbid obesity can be a symptom of "agoraphobia" or "fear of the market place". People sometimes get so fat they can't get out of the house at all. One of Johnny Depp and Leonardo DiCaprio's early movies "What's Eating Gilbert Grape" examines this phenomenon. His mom hibernates in the living room because she's too fat to get up the stairs or go out of the house. I was nearly there. I used to get so short of breath going up the stairway in our house it would take me about ten minutes to catch my breath I'd go down in the morning and avoided climbing up the stairs until bedtime. This took a lot of organization on my part to not need anything from upstairs all day. I still went to church and the grocery store but not many more places. I certainly didn't walk anywhere! Most places I did go I knew I was the biggest person in the room. Children stared. It hurt.

Why, do you ask, would I want to bring this up? Well, I need to remind myself of a couple of things.
1. I've come a long way.
2. I don't want to go back there.
3. Even though I think I'm way too logical for needless worry, I'm not immune.
4. I should quit all the worrying and just do stuff.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Mr DeMille I'm Ready for My Closeup

2012-04-01T02:00:00.004-04:00

Nora Desmond, a character in the Film Noir classic, Sunset Boulevard, was an aging, former silent film star. She tried desperately to hang on to the fame of her youth with tragic results. I don't wish to imply that I identify personally with this character but I do enjoy performing on stage. I like the feedback from an appreciative audience and miss the adulation when its over.

On Monday I felt the usual post-opera let down. It is so depressing after a week of performing to return to work and home life with no applause or curtain calls. I know I am appreciated by my family (and hopefully my patients) but they just don't show it as enthusiastically as the opera fans do.

This is the chorus of Don Pasquale before a performance. I'm the one who is dressed as Madame Butterfly. Quite a conglomeration of characters aren't we? Did you think opera was boring? Not the way we do it.

If only life was directable like a stage performance. (My spell-check doesn't like the word directable.) I think I've mentioned how my job is getting to me. I've dealt with the high-stress environment of the ER for over 30 years. I'm feeling like it is time for me to do something else. Just exactly what else I'd like to do is a dilemma.

Then there is my family. My mom is 80 years old, lives alone in a senior apartment building but is in need of more supervision lately because she is showing signs of Alzheimer's disease . Then there is my son who has Asperger's syndrome. He is very intelligent but needs to continue his education and find a career.

I have some of my own health issues I've been ignoring because of my focus on my weight loss. I've also neglected my fiscal health and my checking account is in a state of complete anarchy.

I'm writing this blog in the wee hours after midnight. I should be sleeping but I like the silence of night when I write. I went to the gym today but my eating has been chaotic.

It is difficult not to focus on the stressors in my life. I've tried to be a "glass half full" optimist. I love that spring has blossomed early this year. I enjoy being with my grandchildren. I love having a body that can do things it couldn't two years ago. But sometimes I want to succumb to the temptation to go up to my bed and pull the covers over my head to ignore all the demons. There is a lot of whining going on here. I hate whining.
This year marks the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic. Things could be worse.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

The Joy of Reading

2012-03-24T16:49:00.001-04:00

There is an old Twilight Zone episode featuring Burgess Meredith as a hen-pecked, overworked bank teller who never has enough time to read. One day he is hiding in the vault reading at his bank when nuclear annihilation strikes. He emerges from the vault unharmed to find all the other people reduced to dust but buildings and books intact. He is overcome with joy at the possibility of unlimited time to read when the unthinkable happens. Myopic to the extreme, he drops his eyeglasses and they shatter. The camera fades as he laments aloud that he has the books and the time but now he cannot see to read them.

This program was filmed in the early 1960's and has a few plot points that wouldn't hold up today.
First, eyeglasses are no longer made of glass. (Besides he might have happened on an abandoned pair somewhere or maybe a magnifying glass.) Second, in a nuclear holocaust the earth would probably just be totally blown away. Third, electronic books need power. The poor guy would not be able to recharge his Kindle if there was no source of electricity. His unlimited book orgy wouldn't last very long.

The classic Ray Bradbury Fahrenheit 451 also suffers a world of diminishing value to books in print. Their society does not only want to eliminate the books but also the information they hold. (Sort of "Big Brother"only wants you to know what the government wants you to know) The story starts with firefighters going from house to house burning books. All the buildings in this future time are fireproof so the fire department had to find something else to keep them busy. There is a secret society of book people who are dedicated to saving books for posterity. Instead of hiding the actual books each person takes it upon himself to memorize an entire book. They are known to each other not by their names but by the title of the books they hold in their heads. The title of the book is the temperature at which paper burns. If that story were written today what would it be called? At what temperatures do plastic, glass and silicon melt?

I have always been a reader. I'd read with my flashlight under my blankets so my parents wouldn't know I wasn't asleep. I read in the bathroom. If I go to someones house that has no reading material in the bathroom I might just check out their medicine cabinet for something to read just to help me relax and get the job done. (I'm not being nosy I just need a few lines of a cough medicine label or something) I read the backs of cereal boxes. I like to have two or three books going at the same time because I hate that empty feeling of finishing a book and not knowing what to read next.

Electronic books take all the randomness out of reading. At work many of us bring our old books to share. We just place them on a table in the locker room and browse. I've found a lot of good ones that way. For free yet! You can't get rid of your e-books at a tag sale or donate them to a hospital or library.

My daughter complained today that her school wasted a lot of her time forcing her to learn the Dewey Decimal System which she feels will be abandoned soon. We no longer have those old card catalogs at the public library. Will the books be trashed as well?

I got on this subject from reading a blog of my good friend BASSO FOR HIRE. http://bassoforhire.blogspot.com He participates with another blog called BOOKSELLERS WITHOUT BORDERS booksellerswithoutborders.blogspot.com who all seem as rabid about reading as I am, maybe more so. I started thinking about just how much I enjoy about reading. Not just the print but actually turning the pages, the heft of the volume in my hand, and seeing at a glance how much I have left to read. Many of my books are cherished friends whom I'd never consider letting go. I'd really rather not live in a world without real, paper, pulp, hardcover, paperback, leather bound, cloth bound, brand new or careworn books.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

p.s. HAPPY READING!

A River in Egypt

2012-03-20T23:29:00.000-04:00

De Nile! Ha ha. Actually it was Mark Twain who said

"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."

I've got a whole lotta denial going on about old demons raising their ugly heads. Here is a partial list:

Denial that I need to keep track of my calories.
Denial that my snacking is getting out of control.
Denial that the "plateau" that I claim to be on is really my own doing.
Denial that I often eat when I'm not the slightest bit hungry.

My job has been really getting to me lately. I don't feel as fulfilled as I once did. The health care industry is so focused on cost and reimbursement that it is rare that I feel like my efforts have really made a difference. There is so much more emphasis on saving money than making people feel better. Even rarer is the rush that we adrenalin junkies crave. I'm usually so focused on documentation in critical situations that I don't get as emotionally involved.

I may be using my stress for an excuse to comfort myself via my taste buds. I remember in the orientation materials I received prior to my weight loss surgery there was a whole section on handling stress. I pretty much ignored it. After all, I'm used to stress and I thrive on it. I used to anyway. These days I have a very limited threshold for frustration. I've got to make some changes. I don't think I'll be able to hide my head in the sand much longer because I WILL NOT GO BACK TO MY OLD LIFE!!!!!!!!!

I'm very tired. I should go to bed but I like being up when the house is quiet and my thoughts can blossom without interruptions. Tomorrow will be here very soon. It will be a day fresh for the taking with today's worries flushed down the toilet heading for the ocean where they will be eaten by the bottom feeders. SO THERE!.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan

Not the Usual "Operacation"

2012-03-18T19:34:00.001-04:00

It's time for another opera, Donizetti's Don Pasquale. This time we're doing the comedy set in present day in the slapstick style of classic movie comedies and Loony Toons. Bugs Bunny would not seem out of place in this production. The chorus part of this opera is not very big so I decided to work my usual schedule during "hell week".

Last Monday toward the end of my workday my throat became rapidly scratchy. I was croaking before bedtime and on Tuesday morning I could barely talk let alone sing. Since my Sunday nursery charges are not too careful about where they spread germs I was afraid I might have strep throat. I took the day off and saw my doctor who did a throat culture and put me on an antibiotic. I felt even worse the next day so I stayed home again. I'm glad I saved my voice because once before I had a case of voice strain/laryngitis that affected a performance. That time I ended up seeing an ENT doctor who did a direct laryngoscopy and put me on steroids.

On Friday night we had a rehearsal/performance for an elementary school audience in Mamaroneck, NY. I originally planned to work that day but found the call had been set at 4:30 p.m. about the time I'm just leaving work. To get to Mamaroneck via the Hutchinson Parkway on a Friday evening during rush hour is really a stretch. The "Hutch" can be a nightmare most any time of day so I felt the best thing to do was to take a personal day from work so I could make sure I could get there. I lucked out and found another nurse to work my shift with only one phone call. So I spent the morning with my fellow opera mates loading scenery into a truck then unloading it at the school. It was a long day but the children really enjoyed the show even though many were too young to read the supertitles. The visual humor along with the beautiful music was more than enough to satisfy their senses.

The next day we rehearsed at the same location then moved all the scenery pieces again to the main stage in Yorktown for the remainder of the performances. I worked at the ER today then tomorrow the usual "hell week" schedule resumes. I'll be working Tuesday and Friday and singing every night except Thursday when we have a daytime performance for schoolchildren.

I'm feeling pretty good in spite of all the heavy lifting of the scenery and the crazy schedule of driving and performing. Before my weight-loss surgery I was in no shape to handle all that activity. I definitely appreciate being a more productive person! I did skip the gym this week but I feel I'm making up for it. Since I haven't been to the gym my pedometer steps are less than usual but I'll just have to just pick up the pace after the opera is done.

I am so lucky to be part such a talented group of artists. These days the grim economic climates threatens the arts on many levels. I was never fortunate enough to have access to opera as a child. I did, however, participate in music throughout my years in school with vocal, instrumental and dance groups. I was surprised when our high school band director gave us music that I recognized from classic cartoons, The Lone Ranger TV show and even the odd commercial. Only now are researchers finding that music education contributes to cognitive ability in mathematics. I guess that's why I never had much trouble with algebra or trigonometry.

Even more than the cultural value of the music is the excitement of bringing something beautiful to new ears. I enjoy being able to sing to the rafters with nobody telling me to be quiet.

Love to all,
Marlena of Mohegan