Batter Fried Bacon

Testicular pain

noreply@blogger.com (DrX) — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 22:40:00 +0000

So, I got a vasectomy today. I can say this: it's not much fun. I should have known what I was in for when I asked the doctor, "So, afterward, what's the pain that I'll feel? Is it going to be the incision, or more like a ball kick?" He said, "If you don't move, you won't feel anything." The doctor is a goddamn liar, on top of avoiding the question. I feel like somebody sliced open my scrotom, squeezed my balls, cut some pieces out of there, cauterized what was left, and didn't sew it back up.

Oh, yeah. That's EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.

What is it about ball pain? Getting your testicles jostled is a different kind of pain than nearly anything else. Where's my vicodin?

The Jesus Fish Phenomenon

noreply@blogger.com (kevthegreat) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 14:08:00 +0000

Why is it that every car that has the Jesus Fish on the back has to drive like a 90 year old woman? It doesn't matter who is in the car driving, the power of Jesus compels them to go 10mph under the speed limit. God is on your side, right? Don't worry about driving fast and reckless. Or, just get out of my way. Someone should do a study on this. The affects of the Jesus Fish on annoying driving. Get on that, science!

The Incredible Hulk fights a Grizzly Bear

noreply@blogger.com (DrX) — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 18:59:00 +0000

Because this website is dead, but Hulk still smashes.

Long time no paint...

noreply@blogger.com (kevthegreat) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 17:14:00 +0000

It's been a while! I finally picked up the paintbrush again on Monday:

A new idea

noreply@blogger.com (kevthegreat) — Sat, 23 May 2009 17:31:00 +0000

Hi folks! I'm still alive! I have decided to raise BFB back from the grave for another crazy project. In the near future look for a Podcast from DrX, Fish and I. Here is the premise: We will invite crazy people onto the show and interview them. I'm not exactly sure how this is going to work in practice, but it should at least be fun to try.

So, you may be asking yourself, where are you going to find crazy people to interview? Worry not! The internet is full of them! I am beginning to scour the nets for the craziest conspiracy theorists, alternative medicine quacks, religious nutjobs, and all around douchebags and nutcases. If anyone would like to help, or has any great ideas, let me know!

For the near future, I'm afraid BFB will just mainly be a planning area for this project, so it may not be anymore exciting than it has been. Once we have a good plan, I may create a new webpage for it and let BFB die an inglorious death. If anyone would like to take it over, it's all yours! I just don't have the time anymore to make regular posts. But, for now, there should be at least a little action here. Wish us luck in our new endeavour!

Cautiously Optimistic

noreply@blogger.com (Mikey OOO) — Sat, 02 May 2009 14:21:00 +0000

Ok, so they Yankees have now won 4 in a row and had a nice comeback against a struggling Angels team with a new closer. They are 13-10 and are 3.5 games ahead of Tampa, 1 game behind Boston & 2 behind Toronto (but they don't matter anyway).

So as a Yankee fan, I feel pretty good at this point. As the Kentucky Derby approaches later, I am thinking of horse racing and how it relates to the MLB season. Right now the Yankees are jockying in position trying to get to a good place at the quarter post. And I feel pretty good about it. We're staying right with the other teams, which after the last few seasons is a big improvement. We survived a big sprint by Boston (winning 11 in a row), a slow start by Texeira (BA: .189), but we're still right there.

At the same time, its kind of sad that a 13-10 start actually has me optimistic. I mean its really not that great of a record. Boston luckily, was 2-6 before their winning streak. Is this has really what it has come down to for a Yankee fan??? Mediocre? Really, Really???

Yes we are in the race and yes things look good even for a wildcard with a lot of good, but not great teams in the AL. But shouldn't we expect more? Not even just as Yankee fans, but as someone that can't even find a ticket for less than $150 available anywhere??? I mean apparently we should never lose because our payroll is so high. And it fucking better well be that way. If I can't afford to go to the game, they still have to look good on my HD.

Well that's my morning rant. Got a nice little Saturday planned. A lil' Kohl's, Fishkill Tire, maybe even a little kickball birthday celebration if we're feeling crazy. Oh and if you want to be my friend, sign-up for Facebook motherfuckers!!!

I'M OUT!!!
Mikey

Unpopular Opinions

noreply@blogger.com (Kris) — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 23:13:00 +0000

I am watching the NCAA selection show and I can't wait for the tournament to start! I am getting nervous already. Now for the unpopular opinions. First, I am SO excited Louisville got the #1 seed!!! GO CARDS!! It was interesting sitting in my living room last night watching the 'Cuse - Louisville game with Phishbone23. We had to sit on different couches. Second, now Phishbone23 just asked me who I would cheer for if Siena played Louisville. I have to admit that I would cheer for Louisville, if only because I hope they win everything. That being said, I hope Siena does well and if Siena beats Louisville, I wouldn't be devestated. And finally, third, I love Bobby Knight. They were discussing how mid majors tend to get screwed over if they are bubble teams (St. Mary's this year, and it may have happened to Siena if they hadn't won the MAAC) and Coach Knight comes in amidst all of the arguing and says, "Why not just play one more round". It makes perfect sense! It wouldn't be that hard. Anyways, I am looking forward to watching the games this weekend with Kev, MikeyO, and Phishbone23.

Caption This Picture

noreply@blogger.com (Kris) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 03:51:00 +0000

This is a picture from a race I did this weekend (I came in 2nd!). There is a perfectly logical explanation for the way I look, but it isn't really obvious from the picture.

Seed???

noreply@blogger.com (Mikey OOO) — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 02:39:00 +0000

Well no one else seems to post on here, so I'll try to do it at least weekly. This weeks topic: Siena Basketball

So Siena made the NCAA tourney again this year, and its great. Looks like WE probably would have not gotten an at large bid, so its huge that we won the MAAC tournament. SO here's my questions: Is it better to get a 9 seed, have an easier first round matchup, and then play a #1 seed, or get an 11 seed, beat a 6 seed, and then play a 3 seed?

I think I'd much rather get teh 11 seed, since I think we can beat any 6 seed on a neutral court. Then smack around a 3 seed like like Bobby Brown on Whitney. Anyway that's my thought.

Warm weather, beer and basketball

noreply@blogger.com (Mikey OOO) — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 03:25:00 +0000

So it is now officially two weeks before my vacation starts and I can not wait!!! Of course it starts on St. Patty's day with a 9:30 trip to the dentist followed by an 11:00 at the eye doctor. but after that, I am free to drink for 6 days in a row. the key this year is not puking 6 times on the flights back on Monday.

So it's about 10 degrees here tonight, super windy and we got snow. Houston sounds sooo good right now. Saturday I am heading to the Tu to watch the Saints begin their march to the Sweet 16. So Fish, what is there to do in Houston? Got any bars or places in mind to check out???

I know this isn't the most exciting post, but considering the posts we've had lately, I think this is a winner. Part of the reason may be that I gave on drinking on work nights for lent. Lucking I don't have to work when I am in Houston, so in the words of someone amazing "It's on like Donkey Kong". Peace out biiiiiiitchez

I am the Walrus

noreply@blogger.com (Mikey OOO) — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 16:17:00 +0000

Ok, I know most people have heard about teh Chimp that went nuts and attacked and almos tkilled the lady this week. heck if it were me, I think I'd rather parish than live without my face and an arm. Anyway...

But a walrus is not a human. It has super tough think skin and thus not as easily damaged by a gorilla (even if it is bigger than a chimp). it also has tusks to help it defend itself.

Should there at least be some sort of post to discuss this. I see that the gorilla is a 6;1 favroite at this point, but I am not sure I agree.

Road Rash Brewing Company

noreply@blogger.com (Kris) — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 16:48:00 +0000

My parents were in town this weekend. So in between going to Austin to get some yummy BBQ and spiking a golf ball (accidentally) off of Phishbone23's head while golfing, I used the extra man power to bottle my first batch of beer! Hopefully it will carbonate nicely in the bottles, but even if it doesn't it still will tast pretty good.

I know this because I tasted the little I pulled out of the carboy to use to test the specific gravity before bottling.

The bottling process was probably a bit more hectic than it could have been, but it all got bottled and is now sitting in nice dark boxes in the corner of my kitchen. Hopefully in a week or two I will have some nicely carbonated American Pale Ale to drink!

After bottling I deicded that since the carboy was now empty that meant I could use it for a second batch of beer. So now I have a cream ale that is sitting in my kitchen fermenting away! My hope is that both beers will be ready by the time Kev and Mikey get here in a month!

The next step is to decide if I want to keep bottling or if I want to invest in kegging equipment and a kegerator!

I guess it's back on

noreply@blogger.com (kevthegreat) — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 04:56:00 +0000

The next battle of the beasts is between the gorilla and the walrus. Does any of the other posters here want to take this one? It doesn't matter how the battle is illustrated, just be original about it. Anyways, I'll post the poll on the main page for everyone to vote on the winner. It will expire on Friday night, so get your votes in, folks! Feel free to discuss your pick in the comments section.

Update: I forgot that we also were randomly picking locations for these battles, too. The problem is, I can't find those locations we picked for this. So, let's say this battle happens in a Burger King bathroom.

Zombie vs. Croc

noreply@blogger.com (kevthegreat) — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 04:28:00 +0000

It was a cool spring night. I caught the scent of fresh blood and my hunger made me pursue. I didn't like the fact that I had an overwhelming hunger for the flesh of the living, but it was all I could eat anymore. I've tried eating grains and fruits and vegetable, and even the processed meat of cattle and poultry, but none of them satisfied my hunger. I needed brains. Fresh brains.

So, here I was wondering through an African swampland, following the smell of life. Ever since my change, my sight has been poor and my hearing has nearly vanished. If it hadn't been I may have seen or heard the splashing as the giant reptile lunged from the tall grass to my right and latched onto my thigh. It twisted and pulled until my entire bottom torso ripped free. I felt nothing, as my nerves have long ago died and rotted. Here I now lie. A torso with no legs, a victim to the workers of nature, the beetles and flies who feast upon my dead flesh. Life enduring from living death. How ironic. Is ironic the right word here? How should I know? I'm a rotting zombie without any legs, and I have lost my battle to the crocodile...

No combo breaker today

noreply@blogger.com (kevthegreat) — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 04:06:00 +0000

Today I am finding out how many shots of vodka I can drink before I forget what day it is. It turns out I can drink a lot of vodka! Anyways, I'm feeling pretty happy right now. It's amazing how that works. You know, I've been thinking lately, I need some sunglasses. Now that I have contacts, I figure I can splurge on some non prescription sunglasses. Yeah, that really is all I have today. You know, I think I have to come up with another couple shticks or something for this blog. The battle of the beasts thing is just too damn time consuming. Sorry! I know it was fun and all, but it really is a pain in the ass to make those little flash movies, especially when the free trial for flash runs out after 30 days. Maybe I'll think of another way to simulate the fights that is a bit less work intensive in the future. Until then, you just have to deal with my rambling, useless posts. You'll take it and like it!

One of those days

noreply@blogger.com (kevthegreat) — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 00:40:00 +0000

I'm worn out tonight. It was one of those days I just didn't want to be at work, and the day just dragged on and everything broke. On a day like today, I like to punch children. I go down to the local elementary school and just go crazy, punching every little kid I can find. They all cry and ask "Why!? Why did you punch me?" and I say "Because I'm having a bad day, now shut up before I give you something to cry about!" Children love me!

I'm posting today!

noreply@blogger.com (kevthegreat) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 04:27:00 +0000

Hey Mr. Darwin, happy birthday! I did a bit of drinking after work today, but I got back in time to post before the day is out! Hmmmm... I, of course, have nothing to post about. So, let me just state in this post that I hate Eastern Europeans. That's right! I said it! You're all jerks. That's the sole thing I learned today, and I pass that knowledge on to all of my loyal readers. Also, pie is tasty.

Alright folks!

noreply@blogger.com (kevthegreat) — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 01:51:00 +0000

I have completely neglected the blog which is a horrible thing. It's not exactly like I have anything else going on, either. So, I'll tell you what, I'm going to make an attempt to make a post a day for an entire week, and hope that it gets me back in the mood. I guess that makes today the first day. I really don't have any clever ideas of what to post about, so let me tell you about my day. This morning I got up and drank a bottle liquid that I found outside on the side of the road last night. I have no idea what it was, but I just woke up! I have no idea what I did all day, but now I have only 8 fingers, and a tattoo of a Mexican dancing girl on my back! Crazy!

Beer Update

noreply@blogger.com (Kris) — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 13:54:00 +0000

So I haven't been posting the day to day pictures because they all pretty much look the same. The foam has subsided and I am now just waiting for it to settle to the bottom before I double check the specific gravity (to make sure I am not going to be building little shrapnel grenades) and then bottle. I am sure that bottling will be an interesting process given the number of bottles and the size of my kitchen, so hopefully there will be good pictures soon.

36 Hours of Fermentation

noreply@blogger.com (Kris) — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 16:44:00 +0000

After 36 hours of fermentation (to 5:30am) I have seen increased CO2 output as well as a lightening of the color of the beer. The house has also acquired a mild overtone of fermenting beer.

Road Rash American Pale Ale

noreply@blogger.com (Kris) — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 13:52:00 +0000

Phishbone23 and I brewed our first batch of beer yesterday using the equipment and American Pale Ale kit that he got me for Christmas. In order to prepare for this endeavour, I spent Saturday purchasing what I thought was all I would need to brew my first batch of beer. The beer kit has all of the ingredients needed for making the beer. They are all premeasured and the grain is even ready to go into the pot.

The equipment kit that Fish got me for Christmas has almost everything I needed in it for brewing, but I still had to get a pot (5 gal), a steel spoon, and I went ahead and got bottles for when I bottle it in about a week.

To get all of this equipment, I went to the store where Fish got the kits. The store, B&S Brewers Guild, is amazing. They have all kinds of grains and other stuff. They say they have enought variety to make 42,000,000 different kinds of beer. Using combinatorics I don't think that is really that difficult (especially since a slight change in amounts will brew a different beer) but still it is rather impressive. Even more cool though is that they do brewing demonstrations every Saturday. This is especially cool because, since they do brewing demonstrations every Saturday, that means they have lots of beer sitting around just waiting to be drunk. Since they don't have a liquor licence instead they have a freezer full of cold glasses and beer that they just give away! So I spent Saturday afternoon sipping on beer and learning about what I would be doing myself the next day.

Early Sunday afternoon Fish and I decided to start brewing the beer. This is when I realized I don't have a thermometer (not totally necessary, but being a scientist I like to be precise) so we ran back over to the beer store and got a thermometer. When we got home we started brewing the beer. Since it was Super Bowl Sunday I was also trying to multitask and make a cheese dip while my grains were steeping. Of course the ingredients and equiptment for brewing took up most of my counter space so I while I was making the dip, I accidently knocked my hydrometer on the ground where is promptly shattered. Luckily the beer store was still open. Fish, being the kind fiance that he is, ran back over and got me a new hydrometer.

This was only one of many mishaps I had while trying to brew the beer. The most painful of which consisted of trying to squeeze almost boiling water out of a cheesecloth bag with my bare hands. I think I can do better next time.

The most frustrating part of the whole process was getting the wort to cool. It took it over an hour to get down to below 90F. This is when I could siphon the wort into the carboy for fermentation and add the yeast.

As of 5:30am this morning the yeast seems to be doing its job and hopefully I will have good beer in a few weeks!

Some pictures from the brewing process are below! (I will try to add ones with Phishbone23 later, but his bright shiny face is just too brilliant for pictures, so they need to be doctored a bit.)

Steeping the grains

Boiling the wort

Cooling the wort

Just into the carboy with the yeast added

12 hours later at 5:30am today

It's a froggie!

noreply@blogger.com (kevthegreat) — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 03:44:00 +0000

Suuuuuuuper Bowl!

noreply@blogger.com (kevthegreat) — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 01:09:00 +0000

Hey everyone. Long time, no see. The Super Bowl is coming up and I was wondering if you folks would like to try something like last year, where we had live updates on the blog. I figure I can post a chat box if people are going to be around. Whattaya think?

Road Rash Pale Ale

noreply@blogger.com (Kris) — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 13:07:00 +0000

No this is not a post about biking, but rather about another of my favorite things, beer. Phishbone23 purchased a home brewing kit (a real one, not a Mr. Beer) and the ingredients for an American Pale Ale for me for Christmas. I have not made it yet, but I think I will be trying to make it this weekend. Since there has been a lack of posts recently I thought maybe I would try to do a couple about how the beer is coming along. With luck it will be both ready and palatable by the time Kev and Mikey arrive in Houston in March.

Commence with the fighting

noreply@blogger.com (Mikey OOO) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 03:23:00 +0000

Can we please go back to the great battle of the animals that we had before. I think it was one of the mlost posted and visited postings we have had yet. So I say, "Commence with the fighting of the living, till only 1 creature is alive!!!"