Bayside Healthy Living

What is flow state and why do you want more of it?

janine@lemoncrush.com.au — Sun, 03 Sep 2023 07:20:14 +0000

I love watching people light up with enthusiasm as they describe something they can get lost in; where they lose time and forget the world around them. 85% of people can remember at least one time when they felt this way, and often these moments have become a highlight of their lives (Hari, 2022). Known as flow state, this mind and body phenomena has extraordinary health benefits (Hari, 2022). Please keep reading to find out how.

Flow state has been shown to be extremely beneficial to the mind and body: the more flow you experience, the better you feel.

Johann Hari, in his latest book Stolen Focus (a fabulous book I couldn’t put down), interviewed a lead expert in psychology Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who was disillusioned by post WW2 psychology where he felt the emphasis was on ‘the mechanics of the mind’ and negative drivers influencing mental health. He was much more curious to explore the more positive aspects of being human and ways people naturally ‘nourish the mind’.

Remember this was post war thinking and provided a startling re-think of human psychology. He began by observing artists who appeared to be in a hypnotic trance, where time seemed to fall away from them, and as a practicing psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi had rarely seen this level of focus anywhere. He was confused by the end of the observation when the artists were setting the artwork away and reaching for another canvas, not so concerned with the outcome, or for stepping back and observing their work. They appeared driven by the process of painting itself. It was the same for rock climbers, poets, writers, and cooks that he observed. Mihaly was able to observe what was naturally occurring and relatively easy; “if humans drill down in the right way, we can hit a gusher of focus inside ourselves – a long surge of attention that will flow forth and carry us through difficult tasks in a way that feels pleasurable “ (Hari, 2022, p.52).

Based on over five (5) decades of research into what Mihaly coined ‘flow state’, he was able to demonstrate that the more flow experienced, the better we feel. Other well-known authors have shed a light on accessing the benefits of flow state to bring relief and healing from past trauma (Emmerson, 2014: His Holiness the Dalai Lama et al., 2016; Mate & Mate, 2022; van der Kolk, 2015).

Lose yourself in an activity so you feel like you are flowing into the experience and notice the benefits to your body.

Flow state is another powerful tool and antidote to anxiety (see previous blogs https://baysidehealthyliving.com.au/research/), offering access to the Now; the sweet present moment where Ekhart Tolle (2004) reminds us that we can always access the resources to cope with the Now.

Drawing on Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi‘s flow state research Johan Hari (2022, p.263) summarises the pivotal steps to accessing your own flow state.

Accessing your flow state is easier than you think!

Flow state can only come when you are mono tasking. When you choose to set aside everything else and do one thing.

Choose one single goal; make sure your goal is meaningful to you.
Ask yourself: What would be something meaningful to me that I could do now?
Once you have identified something that inspires and lifts you, write down what you will do, when you will do it and the time you will allocate to this.
Focus on something that is at the edge of your abilities; if it’s too easy you’ll go into autopilot, and if it is too hard, you may get stressed and quit before flow state emerges.

“The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times . . . The best moments usually occur if a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile (Csikszentmihalyi, 2008).

Make a Choice. Clients light up as they have shared their flow state with me; walking into a sewing room or studio, digging in the garden, planting seedlings, curling on the couch with a book and open fire, making bagels, practicing golf, walking in nature, standing on a paddle board, cooking to favourite music, cleaning cupboards (really – someone does this for flow ) lighting a candle and writing on beautiful paper, the list is endless …
Set a specific date, today and time aside to invite a flow state opportunity into your life.
At the allocated time, turn off all distractions, set the timer if you need to (that’s what I do and I don’t stop until the kitchen timer rings!).

Once you have created these conditions, and you hit flow, you will come to recognise the elevation and glimpses of positive flow, a state of being, where self-consciousness does not exist. It’s a sensation that you have ‘merged with the task’ (Hari, 2022, p.53) and perhaps you will recognise it because it’s a distinctive, elevated, mental state; the experience of being purely present in the moment. An experience which always welcomes mental relief. I finally got into flow state writing this blog. I needed to switch off distractions and replace them with a source of flow.

Which leads me to some final tips for this blog, to help you feel calmer and clearer.

Book 5 minutes with yourself to re-set your phone notification defaults.

Hari (2022) was horrified to hear from lead smart phone developers that 2/3 of people with a smart phone, never change their notification settings, which have been set during manufacturing at maximum pestering levels, to keep you distracted and attached to your phone. And perhaps you will be open to utilising the time you just gifted back to yourself to make a pact to you – to play more, laugh more, walk in the outdoors undistracted more regularly, allowing your mind to recall a time when you had 7-8 hours of deep refreshing sleep. Even the smallest of these changes has the potential to enhance energy flow in your mind, body, heart, and soul.

As I flow to the end of this blog, I truly wish you the motivation and inclination to explore your flow state and to welcome the benefits back into your life. We would love to hear your stories and reflections along the way.

Warm regards

Amanda and Tara from Bayside Healthy Living, where we are committed to empowering people to be the best version of themselves.

References

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (2008). Flow The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Harper.

Emmerson, G. (2014). Resource Therapy Primer. Old Golden Point Press.

Hari, J. (2022). Stolen Focus: Why you can’t pay attention. Bloomsbury Publishing.

His Holiness the Lama, D., Archbishop Tutu, D., & Abrams, D. (2016). The Book of Joy: Lasting happiness in a changing world. Penguin Random House.

Mate, G., & Mate, D. (2022). The Myth of Normal. Penguin Random House.

Tolle, E. (2004). The Power of Now. Hachette.

Van der Kolk, B. A. (2015). The body keeps the score: Mind, brain and body in the transformation of trauma. Penguin Books.

The post What is flow state and why do you want more of it? appeared first on Bayside Healthy Living.

What If?

janine@lemoncrush.com.au — Tue, 06 Jun 2023 02:09:00 +0000

Do you have ‘what if’ thoughts that drain your life? Are you searching for greater calm, clarity and choice in your life?

Are you exhausted by persistent ‘what if?’ thoughts that cloud your mind and consume your focus? If so, you’re not alone. Clients often tell me ‘I can’t think straight and it’s messing with my head’. ‘I’m overwhelmed with all the worst imaginable worries as my brain works overtime to keep me stuck in fear’. Let’s take a closer look at what ‘anxiety’ and ‘worry’ are and dive into some practical strategies to de-clutter your mind so you can activate greater calm, clarity and choice.

‘Anxiety is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you very far’ (Jodi Piccoult)

Anybody who has experienced extended periods of anxiety – and that is estimated to be one in five Australians (National Study of Mental Health and Wellbeing, 2020) – knows it drains our mental focus and ‘messes with our heads’. Anxiety can also trigger body responses such as muscle aches, palpitations, constricted breathing and difficulties sleeping, to name just a few symptoms. This can lead to ‘anxious normal’ defaults, where the brain and body anticipate anxiety and get stuck in the anxious cycle of being anxious about being anxious, which becomes anxiety about anxiety.

Contrary to what you may have read or have been told, anxiety does not have to be something that you have to learn to live with and manage for the rest of your life. There are increasing numbers of evidence-based ways to retrain body and mind to default to calmer, safer and more comfortable alternatives. Learning new approaches and possibilities is a way of being kinder to yourself and reconnecting you back to your strength.

Ultimately this gives you head space to seek the support of others and recognise you are not your thoughts: you are not the voice of the mind – you are the one who hears it (Singer, 2007).

Anxiety

It is normal to feel anxious now and then. Like before giving a speech, starting a new job, trying something new for the first time, being assessed or sitting an exam, speaking to a boss, etc. Anxiety is when the anxious sensation stays with you, beyond the event and the fearful brain remains focused on forecasting debilitating future events that have not happened yet. The brain becomes locked in fight or flight mode, activating the high alert, hyper vigilant search for more danger. It’s not unusual for me to hear ‘there was a scary time when I thought I was having a heart attack with palpitations, a tight chest, I couldn’t breathe, and the doctor checked me out and said it’s anxiety and me not managing my stress. Believe me, I would if I knew how’.

Some of my previous blogs have explored the neuroscience of a past, much older ‘danger signal’ being triggered by a current situation (Research – Bayside Healthy Living). I often use the analogy that the initial ‘fear trigger’ has been stored like a beach ball, pushed down beneath the surface of the mind, until it starts to get bigger and bigger, connecting itself to past, present, and future fear cycles. Anyone who has tried to hold a beach ball beneath the water knows that it takes a lot of energy to hold it there, and often when your arms are tired, it bounces out of the water and smacks you straight in your face!

When thinking of that beach ball, it becomes easier to understand that anxiety relates to a group of mental health classifications such as phobias and panic attacks – obsessive patterns and behaviours and what has been labelled by mental health experts as GAD (generalised anxiety disorder) (National Study of Mental Health and Wellbeing, 2020). If you have been told you have GAD, then it is likely your brain is working overtime and you experience excessive worry about everyday events, for no specific reason.

Worry

Central to generalised anxiety, worry often presents as an uncontrollable stream of fearful beliefs and thoughts, the what ifs, and worst possible scenarios, that can provoke dread, fear and apprehension in both mind and body. Relentless and consuming worry blocks the brain’s capacity to think clearly, feels like a ‘sensory overload’ and makes it challenging to sleep, get out of bed in the morning, focus and make realistic and achievable choices for the day.

Worry doesn’t empty today of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength. Corrie ten Boom (1982)

Eckhart Tolle (2004) suggests that endless ‘what if’ thoughts project us into an imaginary future situation, fuelling false fear and moving your brain from the present moment of reality into an imagined, anxious future. He confronts us with a clear message that we need to get out of the way of these ruminations and make a better choice:

“There is no way you can cope with that situation because it does not exist. It’s a mental phantom. You can stop this health and life-corroding insanity simply by acknowledging the present moment. Become aware of your breathing. Feel the air flowing in and out of your body … All that you ever have to deal with, cope with, in real life – as opposed to imaginary mind projections – is this moment. … You can always cope with the Now, but you can never cope with the future – nor do you have to.” (Toll, 1984, p. 85)

Would you prefer to be anxious or excited: it is your choice?

It is important to acknowledge that anxiety is a normal response to a perceived threat or danger, a response that serves a purpose when required to jump out of the way of a fast-moving car, run from danger or move your hand from a hot object. Your brain and body are wired to protect you – not harm you or hold you back – and the most incredible thing to realise is that anxiety and excitement light up the brain in similar ways.

An innovative researcher from Harvard Business School (Wood Brooks, 2013) was able to encourage participants to reappraise / relabel anxiety as ‘excitement’ and the result was an increased subjective measure of excitement, which improved subsequent maths performance. Compared with participants who attempted to tell themselves to calm down, “individuals who reappraise their anxious arousal as excitement feel more excited and perform better. Individuals can reappraise anxiety as excitement using minimal strategies such as self-talk (e.g. saying “I am excited” out loud) or simple messages (e.g. “get excited”), which lead them to feel more excited, adopt an opportunity mind-set (as opposed to a threat mind-set), and improve their subsequent performance.” (p. 1)

Dr Gordon Livingston, an inspiring psychiatrist with more than 5 decades of clinical practice says that most of us become habitual creatures, steeped in habit, fearful of change, and this results to some degree in being ‘rewired to risk aversion’. Dr Livingston explains, usually it is fear and its close cousin, anxiety, that keep us from doing those things that would make us happy (p. 55) where he describes mental health as “a function of choice. The more choices we are able to exercise, the happier we are likely to be” (Livingston, 2006, p. 161).

Decades ago, Louise Hay (1988) also stated a thought is just a thought and can be changed (see my previous blog: Breaking the cycle of rumination; https://baysidehealthyliving.com.au/breaking-the-cycle-of-rumination-2/). There are small things you can do each day that really can make a big difference to reclaiming your clarity, focus and memory recall, reminding your mind and body that you are safe, and have more control over your mind than you feel right now.

Take a moment to reflect on the biggest chance you’ve ever taken in life. What drove and motivated you to make that change? When you reflect back, it may not surprise you to recall that the benefits and ‘why factor’ for embracing the change, far outweighed the fear. All change takes change, and along with taking chances that you have managed in the past, there was always the fear of failure, fear of being judged, fear of letting others down, but you rose above fear to find the courage to take that chance.

Re-mind yourself. Helpful brain hacks.

It is only a thought and a thought can be changed: will this matter in one year or 5 years from now?
Say out aloud ‘I am excited’ or ‘let’s get excited’ and you are likely to guide your brain to an opportunity mindset. The way we verbalize and think about our feelings helps to construct the way we actually feel (Wood Brooks, 2013, p. 12)
Choose a better story: anxiety and worry are fear based and predict a negative forecast. Start telling yourself a better story. ‘That was then, and this is now’ can give you a moment to re-set to a better more uplifting story to focus on.
Write the persistent fearful thoughts and worries down.
- Highlight the ones that are real.
- Is there anything you can do about that right now? If so, write down what you will do, when you will do it and the positive outcome that will result.
- If nothing can be done, flip the worry to ‘there is nothing I can do right now. I choose to focus on something that serves me now’.
Set aside 10 – 30 mins (max) per day that you allocate to worry.
- Set the timer and really go for it!!
- List the worries and notice how they are often different versions of the same worry.
- Put a line through the ones that are not yours – out of your control. If something can be done, plan and commit to following it through. For times when worries jump into your head, tell yourself this is not my worry time – I will save that for the allocated worry time.
Resist the urge to get caught up in the dramas of others. You can listen empathically and then as you emerge from the conversation, imagine handing them back all their worries, trusting that they will find the best solution for them, in their own time and own way. Most people don’t expect you to solve their problems, they want you to listen and hear them out. Being really heard is one of the greatest gifts you can offer someone.

Teach your body you are safe right now!

Try closing your eyes and breathing peaceful energy that surrounds you. Let’s see if you can breathe in for 3, hold it for 4 and breath out for 5 or 6 – just three of those longer exhalations can lower your heart rate and blood pressure, bring you from your head into your more relaxed body. It’s hard to be anxious when your body is relaxed.
Sometimes it is helpful to repeat soothing words as you focus on your extended breaths like relax, relax, relax … I am learning how to be relaxed, learning how to be calm and learning how to let go of thoughts that no longer serve me.
Some people imagine floating to their safe comfortable place and imagine a warm blanket of relaxation calming their body.
Other people benefit from counting backwards in 7’s from 300, as they focus on longer exhalations than inhalations, and others imagine wiping thoughts off a black board or white board and pretending the heavy dark thoughts are being washed away.
The more curious you become, the more open your mind and body will be to recognise that thoughts are just thoughts, and you are not the thoughts or voice in your head.

And don’t forget that we are here to motivate and inspire you to become the best version of yourself, so if you have additional questions or want to understand how to put anxiety and persistent worries permanently behind you, please give us a call.

Look forward to chatting with you.

Amanda & Tara

References

Boom, C. Ten. (1982). Clippings from my notebook (First). Thomas Nelson Inc.

Hay, L. (1988). You can heal your life. Specialist Publications.

Livingston, G. (2006). Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart: Thirty true things you need to know now. Hodder & Stoughton.

National Study of Mental Health and Wellbeing. (2020). [Australian Bureau of Statistics]. https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/health/mental-health/national-study-mental-health-and-wellbeing/latest-release.

Singer, M. (2007). The untethered soul. New Harbinger Publications.

Tolle, E. (2004). The Power of Now. Hachette.

Wood Brooks, A. (2013). Get Excited: Reappraising Pre-Performance Anxiety as Excitement. 1–9.

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All change takes change

janine@lemoncrush.com.au — Mon, 09 Jan 2023 20:40:59 +0000

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.

Barack Obama (Lascala, 2021)

Are you seeking positive change to enhance your life and expand your horizons?

As we head into the new year, it’s not uncommon to want to start it ‘afresh’ as we set new intentions to improve our ways of living and finding more happiness and joy. So why is it then, that by the middle of January we find ourselves floundering; feeling stuck and indulging in self-sabotaging habits and behaviours that prevent us from making the changes we desire?

All great changes are preceded by chaos

Deprak Chopra (Lascala, 2021)

Become the change you’re wishing for

There is nothing you can’t do if you get your habits right says James Clear in Atomic Habits (2018), so let’s explore how you can become the change you’re wishing for and take an active life-changing step right now.

I love the title of Joe Dispenza’s book: Breaking the habit of being yourself: How to lose your mind and create a new one (2012). His teachings on habits have changed the way I view the world and have increased my capacity for making better choices about how I emerge each day and what I put my energy into. I was equally fascinated to learn that we have the ability to change almost anything in our lives after reading The Power of Habit: Why we do what we do and how to change (Duhigg, 2012). It helped me understand why the therapeutic approaches I offer my clients at Bayside Healthy Living, provide an easier way to ‘lose’, ‘override’ or ‘uninstall’ a habit/mindset and upgrade to something better. Charles Duhigg encourages us to focus on one pattern, which he refers to as a ‘keystone habit’. This unintentionally then has a flow-on effect into other areas of our life. For example, going to sleep an hour earlier can result in greater morning calm and clarity, motivate us to exercise in the morning and make better food choices throughout the day.

As discussed in one of my previous blogs, ‘Breaking the Cycle of Rumination’, we are creatures of habit. Every day we get out of bed on the same side, we brush our teeth before or after coffee, tie left or right side shoelace first, etc. Most of the choices we make each day may feel like the product of well-thought-out plans and decisions, but they are not. Habits in isolation may not seem like they have much authority on us but layer after layer of the habits we develop directly influence the choices we make. Whether it’s the food we eat, the hours we sleep, the choices we make socially, what we say or don’t say to those we love, the way we spend money or move our body, these are all habits that ultimately shape and impact our physical, mental, emotional, and purposeful worlds.

How does your new habit align to your identity?

In Atomic Habits, James Clear takes the science of Charles Duhigg (2012) to a more practical level by starting with a focus on our identity; the person we wish to become. Research has shown that when we truly believe a particular aspect of our identity, we are more likely to act in alignment of that belief (I talked about this in a previous blog ‘Love and Fear’). James Clear suggests that the more we can act from a kind and loving mindset, the more we’re reinforcing the habit or behaviour and proving it to ourselves. So, every action is effectively a vote and endorsement for the type of person we wish to become (Clear, 2018). You have the choice to decide what kind of person you want to be and how you want to show up in life.

Your habits are how you embody your identity … your identity is literally your repeated beingness”

(Clear, 2018, p. 36-37)

The Habit Loop

Let’s break down a simple habit utilising the James Clear ‘Habit Loop’ model. The first thing that happens is there is a ‘cue’ or a trigger that tells the brain there’s an automatic mode being signalled to activate a particular habit. Awareness comes before desire. A craving is created when your brain assigns an emotion or feeling to the situation. Emotions drive behaviour, so how we feel influences how we act. There is however a gap between our cravings and rewards and the brain will want to repeat that reward if it is surprised and delighted. For example, will you have a water with your post gym session coffee or will you have a muffin? You’ve just worked out, so why would you want to ‘undo’ that with a muffin, right?

The Habit Loop

Change is about creating new habits that align with your preferred identity

Why am I telling you all this when we are exploring change? Unless you deliberately interrupt the daily programs/patterns/habits (the cue-craving-response-reward loop), the brain just keeps firing away and you won’t be surprised to find your hand reaching for things you don’t really need. So, when you search for a muffin or biscuit to accompany your coffee or tea, or the urge hits you for a piece of chocolate at 3pm, or a drink at 5pm (It must be 5pm somewhere in the world! … Sounds funny until you notice another habit has taken over and even earlier lunchtime drinking has started). You can see by this scenario that our brain learns and makes choices for us automatically, so we are not always aware of the habits that get in the way of who we want to be.

Best way to start a new habit now

Many studies have shown that best results come when we set the intention for implementing a new habit according to the ‘if-then’ plan so “when situation X arises, I will perform Y” (Clear, 2018; Duhigg, 2012).

James Clear suggests a simple way to apply the strategy is to fill out the sentence:

I will (BEHAVIOUR) at (TIME) in (LOCATION).

Examples may be:

Meditate: I will meditate for 10 mins at 7 am in my study 5 days a week (contact us for a free Morning Meditation audio track)

Exercise: I will exercise at 6 pm in my local park.

Non smoker: I will say ‘no thanks I don’t smoke’ when somebody offers me a cigarette at 10 am.

Lose weight: When dining at home I will finish eating by 8 pm, pick up a water bottle or have black tea and say “That’s it. I’m done with food for today until tomorrow”.

Quit snacking: I will fill up my water bottle, stretch my body and take a brief walk from my desk at 3pm at the location of my work.

Alcohol free days: I will pour myself sparkling mineral water with fresh lime in my favourite glass at 5pm in my kitchen to celebrate “I am alcohol free today”.

Sleep. I will turn my phone onto ‘do not disturb’ at 9pm, and be in my bed reading by 9:30pm, ready to sleep by 10pm.

Other ways to embrace healthier, happier change right now

Know your Why: When you know your WHY factor, your brain and body will work with you to find your HOW.

Identify your goal. Break it into manageable, realistic achievable chunks, so you can celebrate each step along the way to change
Celebrate ‘small wins’ (micro changes) as much as the big wins. One small win leads to another and another. (Duhigg, 2012¸ P. 112)
Listen to Goal Rehearsal track (listen below) each day 21- 28 days and notice the difference.

Have a plan

Identify the obstacles and pain points/challenges along the way, before they happen. What will you do when faced with that old challenge now that you are prepared to change? Research has shown a dramatic increase in successful change outcomes when contingency plans are written down ahead of the pain point (Clear, 2018; Duhigg, 2012).

Changing a thought: flipping it from fear to what you’d love starts the rewiring process of uninstalling an old program that has passed its use by date and upgrading to something better for who you are now (link back August Blog and September blog) If it feels like a choice or something you will enjoy because it helps another, it’s easier to get past the old pain point.

James Clear (2018, p.54 ) says ask yourself when you are preparing for change:

How can I make it obvious?
How can I make it attractive?
How can I make it easy?
How can I make it satisfying?

Change may not be as fast as you want it, or as easy as you thought, but with time and effort almost any habit can be reshaped. After all as Heraclitis said: ‘There is nothing permanent except change’ (Lascala, 2021)

If there is a change you are ready to make in 2023 and you believe you need a little help at an unconscious level, please call us to explore your options.

References

Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits: An easy & proven way to build good habits & break bad ones. Penguin Random House.

Dispenza, J. (2012). Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One (1st edition). Hay House.

Duhigg, C. (2012). The power of habit: Why we do what we do, and how to change. Heinemann.

Lascala, M. (2021, September 2). 30+ Inspiring Quotes About Change, Because We Never Stop Evolving. These Powerful Sayings Prove Moving on and Taking Risks Can Be Exactly What You Need.https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/g25383377/quotes-about-change/

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Weight loss and mindset

janine@lemoncrush.com.au — Mon, 05 Dec 2022 21:50:42 +0000

How to beat those extra kilos this festive season

Do you dream about achieving permanent and sustainable weight loss but think about food constantly?

How often have you found yourself searching for food when you are not even hungry?

Have you noticed that every diet you’ve ever embraced has worked for a short while and then you end up heavier than when you started?

Do you dread the start-stop yo-yo cycle of weight gain and loss, never believing you can lose weight and keep it off?

Well, the good news is that when you re-boot your mind and body to be free from habitual, non-hunger eating, not only will you be lighter physically, you’ll feel lighter emotionally and mentally to find happiness that you thought only others had access to. So read on to learn how to re-set your mind to better defaults, habits and strategies to beat those extra kilos this festive season.

“Food has become the Western world’s drug of choice“, says Paul McKenna (2014, p.191) and we are addicted to snacking on junk food more than ever – packed with fat, sugar and salt and cleverly manufactured to charge our tastebuds and have us craving more. In other words, the more we snack the more we eat (Mosley, 2019).

Dieting

If you’ve been caught in the yo-yoing of ‘weight off, weight on’, you won’t be surprised to read that research to date reveals that constant dieting leads to weight gain (Hyman, 2012; Mckenna, 2014; Mosely, 2017; Mosley, 2019). The same authors remind us that poor food choices disrupt every aspect of our lives; from our sleep, to concentration and memory recall, to physical, emotional and mental energy, as well as our physical and mental health. It seems there was something in that old phrase “you are what you eat” when we begin to realise that what we put into our body determines our physical, mental, emotional and purposeful health and wellbeing. So how can you re-set your mind to better defaults, habits and strategies and be a kinder to you and your body along the way?

Fasting and time restricted eating

The latest approaches to achievable and sustainable weight reduction have been well documented by the likes of Dr Michael Mosely (Mosley, 2019), Dr Mark Hyman (Hyman, 2012), and Dr Sunjay Gupta (Gupta, 2021) who have taught us that intermittent fasting and time restricted eating (TRE) can assist us to ‘re-set’ the mind so that we have greater control over food so it no longer influences every decision of our life.

Intermittent fasting is when we avoid all foods and drinks that contain calories (only consuming water or black tea/coffee, herbal tea, etc). Our body needs time away from eating, to clean, repair, and rebuild metabolic and digestive processes in our body. When we fast and let our body take a break from food, this results in less brain and body inflammation, a boost to our immunity, and greater energy both mentally and emotionally and the kilos will start to drop off.

Time restricted eating (TRE) involves eating all your calories within a narrow window of time each day that optimally is somewhere between 8 to 12 hours, explains Michael Mosley (2019). This ensures the body has more time to fast and in the process ‘flips your metabolic switch on’ after 10-12 hours fasting – when your body goes from burning sugar to burning fat for fuel. Your brain runs really well on ketones (chemicals the body produces to break down fat into energy) and in some ways it prefers ketones to glucose. Once you have decided on your ‘eating window’, you don’t eat or drink anything that contains calories outside that period. Try 12 hours fasting/12 hours TRE and once you’ve mastered that, try pushing the fasting period longer, say 14 hours fasting/10 hours TRE or be like Hugh Jackman and aim for 16:8 eg start eating midday and aim to finish by 8 pm – fasting for 16 hours.

Other ‘brain hacks’ to ensure the weight drops off and stays off

Aim to drink 2-3 litres water per day. Check in with yourself, ‘Is this hunger or thirst?’

Plan and prepare healthy meal choices for the week: chop or bake vegetables in advance; make a soup; get ingredients ready to blend for easy and efficient access to fast, healthier food choices.

Keep junk food out of the house: Party foods are for parties. (Guilespe, 2008)

Move your body and keep active: it lifts your mood and can distract you from cravings or hunger.

Always try and sit down to eat a meal and avoiding eating on the move or when distracted. You only have to go to the movies and watch the large buckets of popcorn the audience consumes to recognise that we eat more food when distracted; ignoring the satiation/satisfaction signals sent from stomach to brain.

Chop into smaller pieces, chew, smell, savor and let the food linger (Waterhouse, 1995, p.129) Taste bud satisfaction is always strongest in first three bites of food. “…the first three bites are the most important; satisfying your taste buds, chemoreceptors, nose and brain. The first bite emits the strongest stimulation, the second bite a little less, and the third even less. By the time you’ve taken your fourth or fifth bite, your taste buds are getting a little bored. And they don’t really care what’s going on anymore. Their job is done.”

Avoid ‘just in case’ eating signals from your brain – recognise those ‘I won’t have time to eat later so I’d better have it now’ thoughts. (Kausman, 1998, p.89)

Feelings of hunger can be associated with stress, and feeling deprived as well as dehydration.

Rick Kausman also suggests “Take a deep breath and check in with your body: I can have it if I want it but do I really feel like it now?“ (1998, p.83). This helps us avoid the ‘just in case I get hungry’ habits that make it difficult to drop weight and sustain it.

It can take 10-20 mins for the body for the brain to catch up with the body fullness. Ways to feel satiated faster are avoid distractions while you are eating; enjoy every mouthful; eat protein and vegetables first; be well hydrated and ensure you are getting 7-8 hours of sleep per night.

It’s good to know your body is better at handling sugar and fat in the morning or afternoon rather than later in the evening. By evening your body is getting ready to wind down for night and doesn’t enjoy having to rev up for the complex process of digestion which disrupts our sleep. (Mosley, 2021, p.66)

Prioritise sleep: most of us need 7-8 hours sleep (see November 2022 Sleep Blog post) and if that doesn’t happen, your body will increase hunger signals and cravings for high calorie food.

Connect to your WHY – remind yourself why it is important to do this for yourself and celebrate each micro-step along the way – you deserve to be your healthiest and happiest version of you.

And remember, all change takes change and even the smallest changes in a better direction have the impact to change your future for the better.

Let’s chat to assess if this is a habit that needs to be updated to something better, or if food has food become a crutch for unhelpful emotions such as anger, fear, sadness, feelings of isolation and aloneness. Many of these emotions may have been triggered in the past. Is your brain ready to be free, so you can beat those extra kilos this festive season and establish and maintain an ideal body weight as you head into the new year?

Feel free to call us and chat about your healthy living goals. Sometimes we need a little help from the inside out; to unplug from old habits and defaults and ‘install’ new strategies and beliefs that will enable you to embrace the lighter and free-er you.

References

Guilespe, D. G. (2008). Sweet Poison: Why Sugar Makes Us Fat. Penguin Books.

Gupta, S. (2021). Keep Sharp: Build a Better Brain at Any Age. Headline.

Hyman, M. (2012). The Blood Sugar Solution: The ultra healthy program for losing weight, preventing disease, and feeling great now!Little Brown Company.

Kausman, R. (1998). If Not Dieting Then What ? Allen & Unwin.

McKenna, P. (2014). Freedom From Emotional Eating. Transworld.

Mosely, M. (2017). The Clever Guts Diet: How to revolutionise your body from the inside out. Simon& Schuster, Australia.

Mosley, M. (2019). The fast 800: How to combine rapid weight loss and intermittent fasting for long term health. Simon& Schuster, Australia.

Waterhouse, D. (1995). Why Women Need Chocolate: Proof that a little of what you fancy really does do you good. Random House UK Ltd.

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The power of sleep

janine@lemoncrush.com.au — Thu, 10 Nov 2022 08:06:13 +0000

Have you ever experienced that sinking feeling when your phone’s battery is draining fast, and you don’t have ready access to a charger? Most of us default to sheer panic and a sense of urgency. We search cafes and airport terminals for those lifesaving power charging stations and utter a deep sigh of relief if we end up finding one. Phew! If only sleep, the greatest power-source for our mind, emotions and body was so easy to replenish when our lives are frantic, and we feel utterly depleted of energy. Sadly, sleep is the one energy source we relinquish when stressed and overwhelmed and instead of powering down and heading to bed earlier, we wish for more daylight hours to conquer our ever-expanding ‘to do’ lists.

When Arianna Huffington dedicated her Sleep Revolution book (2016) (one of my all-time favourite reads) to “all those who are sick and tired of being sick and tired”, I was keen to read more.

We often equate taking a nap or going to bed earlier with being lazy, bored, indulgent, sick, or feeling unwell. “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” is what I regularly hear many clients say, until they start feeling like “I’m not even here, I’m like the walking dead”. Sleep is THE most powerful and available resource we have for peak performance and yet as a ‘switched on 24/7’ society, sleep is largely dismissed as an underrated piece of the performance puzzle. Our body works hard for us when we are sleeping; cleaning (we even have little vacuum cleaner type cells in our brain called glial cells), clearing, repairing and revitalising.

“Sleep is a time of intense neurological activity – a rich time of renewal, memory consolidation, brain and neurochemical; cleansing, and cognitive maintenance”
Huffington, 2016, p.18

Impaired performance

According to sleep experts (Gupta, 2021; Walker, 2017), getting the recommended minimum of 7 hours sleep per night* is just as important as good nutrition, being physically active and wearing your seat belt. In fact, if you don’t get the recommended minimum number of hours of sleep per night, you are more likely to crave sugar and fat; be less motivated to exercise and social connectedness and decision making will all be impaired.

“In just two weeks of getting six hours sleep per night, the performance drop-off is the same as in someone who has gone 24 hours without sleep. For those getting four hours, the impairment is equivalent to that of going forty-eight hours without sleep”
Huffington, 2016, p.29

For the majority of us, work takes top priority when it comes to our time and energy and advances in technology mean we can access work now wherever we go, even taking technology into bed with us! As exhaustion, lack of focus, irritation and agitation become our ‘normal’, we deprive our bodies of better memory, and impair our social connections and decision making. I often caution my clients that if they rob themselves of the minimum number of recommended hours of sleep that it’s akin to sitting at their desk still working; hampering the deep-clean process the ‘cleaners’ require to ‘reset’ for optimal work efficiency. Studies have found that being awake for 17–19 hours (a normal day for many people), impacts brain function and performance equal to having a .05 blood alcohol level. (Huffington, 2016, p.30)

“Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.”
Benjamin Franklin

Many studies have linked sleep deprivation with higher anxiety (Huffington, 2016; Mosley, 2020; Walker, 2017). Alarmingly, regularly getting 4-6 hours sleep per night increases risks of dementia, depression, mood disorders, learning and memory problems, heart disease, blood pressure, weight gain obesity, diabetes, fall-related injuries and cancer (Gupta, 2021). As a brain surgeon and a great writer and scientific investigator, Dr Sunjay Gupta used to say, sleep is one of the three pillars of brain health (with exercise and diet). He now quotes many lead experts who advise that “sleep is the single most effective thing we can do to reset our brains and bodies, as well as increase healthy lifespan” (p.132).

“The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night’s sleep.”
E. Joseph Cossman

Sleep and weight

The whole area of research around sleep deprivation and weight gain is a fascinating one. Dr Sunjay Gupta quotes a well cited study that people sleeping four hours per night for two consecutive nights experienced a 24% increase in hunger and tended to gravitate towards high calorie, starchy, salty and fatty food (Gupta, 2021, p.135). This is due to ‘leptin’ being produced through sleep (the satiated and satisfied hormone), while sleep deprivation increases ‘ghrelin’ (the hunger hormone). Sadly, even having one night of poor sleep often leaves us wanting more fat and stimulants throughout the next day.

In his 2020 book Fast Asleep: How to get a really good night’s rest, Dr Michael Mosley refers to leading research about sleep and food habits that was conducted with people observed in sleep labs (Mosley, 2020, p.135). They found that the people who ate meals containing more saturated fat, carbs and sugar, experienced lighter, more disrupted sleep. Study participants whose meals were richer in protein and fibre got to sleep faster and spent more time in deep sleep.

Contrary to our inventive ways to justify alcohol ‘to put us to sleep’, alcohol relaxes us as it enters our system but can be a stimulant around 3am as it gets metabolised in the liver it disrupts deep cycles sleep (Huffington, 2016).

So just how much sleep do we need at different stages of our life?

Age-recommended hours sleep according to National Sleep Foundation quoted in (Mosley, 2020, p.75)

Age

1-12 months

1-3 years

3-6 years

7-12 years

12-18 years

18-65 years

65+ years

Hours

4-15

12-14

10-12

10-11

8-9

7-9

7-8

Preparing your body and mind for a better sleep

Avoid eating and drinking 3 hours before bed where possible
Cool (around 18 degrees Celsius), dark and quiet environments promote deeper sleep.
Dim the lights. By 9:30pm your pineal gland should be pumping out the hormone melatonin which signals to the rest of the brain to prepare for sleep. Melatonin levels start to rise at 9pm and peak in the early hours of the morning.
Really bright light (TV, phones, iPads) switches off the production of melatonin (especially blue frequency) (Mosley, 2020)
A warm bath or shower with a few drops lavender oil, reading a book, and listening to music all help us fall asleep and stay asleep. (Mosley, 2020, p.112)
Avoid listening to the news, arguing or having difficult conversations – you don’t want to take them into bed with you. Your bed is for sleep – and somehow it all seems easier to resolve in the morning
Avoid long naps – less than 30 minutes and nap before 3pm is considered a refreshing energy boost that is less likely to disrupt your night time sleep cycle
Exercise promotes good sleep and walking in nature calms the whole nervous system. We used to believe that if you exercised too late, it would disrupt your sleep. This is not so and it’s more to do with individual preferences (Mosley, 2020)
Achieving an ideal body weight enhances sleep quality and reduces likelihood of sleep apnoea
Yoga, mindfulness, mediation, and pilates are all good for sensory processing, assisting your body and mind to release the day.

Sleep aides

Stick to a regular schedule and aim to get up at the same time every day (even weekends and holidays), as much as possible
Create a calm, relaxing and nourishing bedroom environment so you genuinely look forward to going to bed to sleep.
Lavender essential oil on a cotton bud in your pillow case, and other comforters that relax you and bring joy are nice to have in your bedroom
The best bedtime is when you feel sleepy before midnight. It’s the hours before midnight that provide the deeper sleep, before the early hours of the morning
Avoid blue light (LEDs contain blue light) a few hours before bed for optimal melatonin production
Consider use of an eye mask and soft comfortable ear plugs
Mindfulness – being aware of your breath – following the rising of your chest and noticing what happens if you breath out for longer than you breath in. This is a fast way to shift from sympathetic (high alert, fight and flight) to parasympathetic (I’m relaxed, calm and in control here mindset), lowers heart rate, and blood pressure. Some people benefit from breathing in through nose for 4, hold 5 out through mouth for 7…
Paradoxical intention technique (Mosley, 2020, p.189) Rather than thinking stressful thoughts such as ”I must go to sleep now or I won’t function tomorrow”, flip them to “I am enjoying being awake. I really am. Let’s see how long I can stay awake for”. This takes the pressure off and may paradoxically lead to sleep.

I hope I have convinced you that if there is one kind thing you can do for yourself today, it’s add an hour to your sleep cycle and explore for yourself, what assists you – think of joyful relief as you prepare for a refreshing sleep.

*According to Gupta, (2021, p.131) only a very small percentage of us have the sleep gene, a very rare mutation in a gene that reduces the need for sleep. These individuals naturally sleep 4-6 hours and function healthily. We don’t know the long-term effect of this phenomenon and the vast amount of people are not genetically equipped, so when they survive on less than 7 hours sleep, they have ‘trained’ themselves to wake up early.

References

Gupta, S. (2021). Keep Sharp: Build a Better Brain at Any Age. Headline.

Huffington, A. S. (2016). https://www.ariannahuffington.com (First edition). Harmony Books.

Mosley, M. (2020). Fast Asleep: How to get a really good night’s rest. Simon& Schuster, Australia.

Walker, M. (2017). Why We Sleep: Unlocking the power of sleep and dreams. Scribner Book Company

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Rekindle Your Spark

janine@lemoncrush.com.au — Tue, 04 Oct 2022 06:45:18 +0000

Rekindle Your Spark

An online course to reclaim sexual confidence after cancer

It’s official… I answered the call from my clients to launch my first online course – ‘Rekindle Your Spark’: an online course to reclaim sexual confidence after cancer.

Since publishing my best-selling book ‘Sex & Cancer’, I have been humbled to receive such encouraging reader feedback and am thrilled to know that it has assisted so many people to move forward in positive ways after cancer.

Readers report feeling reinvigorated and experiencing emerging confidence with their body again. They’ve begun to reconnect with their body and clear their minds; and they were inspired to ask for more: “What’s next?” Here is the next step.

If you have read my book or prefer a highly interactive style of body and mind coaching from the comfort of your own home, then take a peek at what’s in my online course.

Drawing from the latest in neuroscience and years of sex and cancer counselling, research and supportive care, ‘Rekindle Your Spark’ provides simple, powerful and practical techniques and strategies that aim to take sexual and intimate confidence to that next level.

What you can expect in the program:

Hours of teachings, guidance and inspiration from Dr Amanda Hordern in the privacy of your own home at your own pace
Get the answers to the sensitive questions that you may have been too scared to ask your doctor
Motivating guidance and encouragement from Dr Amanda through inspiring videos and life-changing activities
Experience more confidence by actively embracing the tools to silence your ‘inner critic’ once and for all!
Simple techniques to reconnect with your mind, body and spirit, feel connected again.
Enhance your energy, desires, pleasure centres and libido in ways that have been recommended by sex therapists across the world
An online tour of my favourite sex shop where I show you a fantastic range of vibrators, lubricants and erectile pumps that have the capacity to enhance your desire and reignite your spark
Private access to Dr Amanda Hordern in a dedicated Facebook group
An international first in client-centred online ‘sex after cancer’ education
Tried and tested techniques from a leading health professional who has dedicated her life to promoting sexual confidence and self-esteem after cancer and illness

Plus so much more…

If you or a loved one has read 'Sex and Cancer' and want to take the next step, this course is for you! Or if you prefer to skip the read, you can jump straight into this highly interactive and informative course.

The Online Course Features:

8 comprehensive, self-paced modules
Over 5 hours of video presentations
Free downloads and extensive resources
Bonus Mp3 tracks by Dr Amanda Hordern
Online tour of a Sex Shop
Complimentary PDF copy of ‘Sex & Cancer: Rekindle your body and reclaim your spark’
Lifelong access to the course and materials.

The post Rekindle Your Spark appeared first on Bayside Healthy Living.

Love and fear

janine@lemoncrush.com.au — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 11:35:39 +0000

How to overcome fear

“There are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear. From love flows happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. From fear comes anger, hate, anxiety and guilt … we cannot feel these two emotions together, at exactly the same time. They’re opposites. If we’re in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we’re in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear.”

~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross¹

Defaulting to fear

I first came across these words many years ago but didn’t fully appreciate them until I started worked with people in private practice. It was then that I began to recognise how easily we focus our minds on the things we don’t want (our worst fears), instead of what we do want (our hopes and dreams for happiness and love).

Each day I notice how easy it is for clients to tell me about what they struggle with rather than what they excel at; what they can’t do as opposed to what they can! They ruminate over worst possible scenarios and outcomes instead of realising their capacity to shift into flow states of freedom and choice.

These fear-based defaults keep our brain and body locked in a perpetual cycle of anticipating danger. We assume that we will ‘fail’ and get things wrong, and we dread shame and the judgement of others. When we live in a constant state of fear, our body and mind switch onto ‘high alert’. As fear-based emotions trigger the release of stress hormones such as cortisol, it’s not unusual to experience an increased heart rate and rise in blood pressure, and as our heart pounds, our chest feels constricted and our body tenses as it prepares for high risk and danger. It’s utterly exhausting, isn’t it and if we had the ability to switch off this fear-based response, we would, wouldn’t we?

Good news

The good news is there is another option for a healthier, happier brain and body response as we can train our brain to shift from fearful thoughts to a love-based mindset. When we come from a place of love and gratitude, affection and warmth, compassion and kindness, we feel socially connected and experience multiple health benefits such as enhanced happiness and overall sense of wellbeing, that ultimately represent freedom and choice. Love is an elevated and joyous emotion which always overrides fear. This makes it easier to release past emotional problems and accept things as they are, rather than how we think they should be. As Kübler Ross points out – fear and love are opposites, so if we are in a loving state, we cannot be in fear.

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Sparking Joy

So, let’s live from love, not fear and embrace some powerful and efficient mindset hacks along the way by trying out the following activity which I’m sharing with you from my latest book Sex & Cancer: Connect with your body and rekindle your spark²

Ways to Spark Joy Activity

Write a list of all the things that bring you joy, elevate your emotions, and move you in to a loving mind zone. Think, feel, imagine and then each morning as you begin your day, choose to do something from your list and notice the difference in your loving energy.

Loving mind flips to get you started:

Identify your fears by listing them and asking yourself of each one:
- How young does this fear feel?
- Is this fear mine or someone else’s? (cross it off if it isn’t yours – it’s not yours to carry)
Remind yourself that everything is temporary; this too will pass
Pause, take a deep breath and ask yourself ‘how would love respond?’ or ‘how would this scenario change for the better if I acted from love?’

Calm & Stress Free Mp3

To practice and reinforce a healthier, freer and calmer mindset, download our free Calm & Stress Free Mp3.

10 Simple Steps to Control Anxiety

For other life-enhancing ideas and strategies to shift your mindset from fear to one of calm and confidence, download your complimentary copy of 10 Simple Steps to Control Anxiety.

And don’t forget that we are here to motivate and inspire you to let it go and be the best version of yourself, so if you have additional questions or want to understand how to put nagging fears permanently behind you, please give us a call.

References

Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth, and David Kessler MD. Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death & Dying Teach Us about the Mysteries of Life & Living. Updated edition. Scribner Book Company, 2014.
Hordern, Dr Amanda. Sex and Cancer: Connect with Your Body and Rekindle Your Spark. Mind Potential Publishing, 2021.

The post Love and fear appeared first on Bayside Healthy Living.

Breaking the cycle of rumination

janine@lemoncrush.com.au — Thu, 11 Aug 2022 15:07:52 +0000

Are you drained by negative self-talk?

Ever heard Henry Ford’s phrase “Whether you think you can or whether you think you can’t – you’re right”? Neuroscience has now demonstrated that the more you repeat the same behaviours or think the same thoughts, the stronger the jungle of neurones in your brain fire together to intensify the connections and reinforce the behaviour.

“Neurons that fire together, wire together”

Donald Webb

One new thought or fresh experience can change us neurologically, chemically – and ultimately genetically according to Professor Bruce Lipton in his mind-blowing book The Biology of Belief (2016). Put simply, we largely operate on automatic pilot and so our old ‘wiring and firing’ can either serve us or get in the way of us realising our goals and aspirations.

I used to nod my head in agreement and then unconsciously dismiss Henry Ford’s profound quote until I stumbled across the work of Dr Joe Dispenza in his incredible book: Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to lose your mind and create a new one (2016).

Drawing on neuroscience, Dr Joe Dispenza explains how we used to think of the mind as an incredible computer and while there may be some similarities, it’s a lot more complex than a ‘hard drive’ receiving new updates. Dr Joe Dispenza and many others remind us that our brain is approximately 75% water; made up of billions of nerve cells called neurones that are arranged like a gangly, stretchy, elastic oak tree (think Avatar!). These trees have roots and branches that connect and disconnect to other nerve cells. Joe Dispenza explains that as we think new thoughts, do new things and create new memories, our neurones make new synaptic connections and exchange electrochemical information; serotonin, dopamine, acetocholine are just a few you may have heard of.

What this means is that the more you repeat a new behaviour or thoughts, jungles of those elastic trees of neurones fire in unison to strengthen new connections which in turn support the new thought. We largely operate on automatic pilot and our old ‘wiring and firing’ can get in the way of achieving our goals. Dr Joe Dispenzer proposes that we think around 60-70000 thoughts per day and 90% of those are exactly the same thoughts we had the day before… and the day before that.

Focusing on what you want

We largely operate as creatures of habit; we get out of bed on the same side; repeat daily washing and grooming rituals, order or make our coffee in predictable ways, watch the same TV programs and so on. Each day we function on autopilot, repeating familiar patterns until we fall asleep, wake up and repeat all over again, which is all very well if you are happy, content and comfortable with the rituals you engage your mind and body in. If not – the good news is you are a thought away from everything you desire. Imagine that!

Remember the inspiring words of Mahatma Ghandi:

Your beliefs become your thoughts
Your thoughts become your words
Your words become your actions
Your actions become your habits
Your habits become your values
Your values become your destiny.

Let’s draw upon this wisdom and put more energy into what you do want, rather than what you don’t want. And the best place to start that is to recognise and dismiss negative and limiting thoughts that no longer serve us.

As you recognise yourself about to think a limiting belief, replace it with:

I choose to…
I am curious to…
I am open and loving
I am learning how to…
I’m practicing a new way
I am finding a new way

More loving mind backs to get you started

For one day keep track of every time you say:

‘It’s always my fault’
‘I don’t deserve it’
‘I can’t’
‘I shouldn’t’
‘I won’t ‘
‘I’ll never’

and replace with a more loving response:

‘I choose’
‘I want’
‘I can’
‘I am strong and wise’
‘I am learning how to be kinder to myself’
‘I am learning how to be a friend to me’
‘I am becoming more curious and open’

Remind yourself everything is temporary; this too will pass.

Practice self-kindness – wear an elastic band around your wrist for a day and flick it as you flip limiting thoughts to kindness, compassion for you.

Pause, take a deep breath and ask yourself ‘how would love respond?’, ‘what would I choose for a best friend?’, or ‘what would love do in this scenario?’

Adopt a mantra for the day: I am no longer limited by past thinking, I choose my thoughts with care, I joyously let go of things that no longer serve me (thank you Louise Hay)

For more ideas and techniques to break the cycle of negative thoughts you can download a copy of my eBook ’10 Simple Steps to Control Anxiety’.

We invite you to be the best version of yourself and we would love to hear how you are breaking the cycle of negative self-talk. If you have additional questions or want to understand how to ‘re-set’ your mind and body to a calmer, lighter and more energised place, please give us a call.

The post Breaking the cycle of rumination appeared first on Bayside Healthy Living.

How to win the battle with fear

janine@lemoncrush.com.au — Thu, 17 Jun 2021 01:11:35 +0000

Are fears and debilitating emotions keeping you chained to the past? Do you feel trapped and stuck in fear? Do you replay in your mind the worst possible scenarios over and over again?

When it comes to fear, we have a choice about how much of our daily lives we hand over to it. F.E.A.R. can stand for:

False Expectation Appears Real

Face Everything and Rise!

The choice is yours.

What are we worried about?

Over 30 years ago I was sitting in a London counselling course when the teacher said, “90% of your clients’ issues will be based in their past and 10% are based in today”.

Just as I was drifting off in the lecture, I was startled awake when the teacher threw down a pile of books and reversed the message:

“10% of what your client wants to work on today is about what’s going on in their life right now and 90% of it is based in the past”.

Real or imagined?

Recognising how we default to past fears in our everyday life is a pivotal concept in the work of Dr Joe Dispenza who draws on neuroscience and epigenetics to describe the way our body and mind are hard-wired to replay worst possible outcomes. He explains that as humans we have large brains that afford us the capacity to think and to imagine; about our problems, past events and how we might envisage our future; all kinds of thoughts that have the potential to flood our body with a cascade of neurochemicals.

When we constantly relive the past or try to control the unpredictable future, we exhaust our bodies and brains. Dr Joe Dispenza provides hundreds of case studies in his book, You are The Placebo Effect: Making Your Mind Matter (Dispenza, 2014), that reveal the body struggles to differentiate between a stressful even occurring in real time or our memory of it. Either way the body is flooded with fear-fueled neurochemicals as we ‘replay’ these fears over and over again.

Most of my clients want to break the draining and debilitating cycle of fear to be calmer, clearer, happier and freer from the past.

Ways to recognise if today’s response is based in fear from the past

Your response to a situation far exceeds the challenges of the event. For example, you become enraged by ‘small life’ frustrations and ‘freeze’ when somebody touches you or you hold your breath as you anticipate someone’s reaction.
Just thinking about a person or past trauma evokes a physical response of anger, fear, sadness, shame, guilt or other fear-based emotion.
A change of events or unexpected sound startles you and has you feeling in a heightened state of ‘hypervigilance’ for an extended period
You ‘shut down’ socially or professionally in response to facial expressions, the mood or passing comments of others
You feel drained and/or depleted just simply contemplating the day ahead and interpersonal interactions
Throughout the day you recognise persistent irritability, jumpiness, or feelings of being ‘on edge’
Even when you think ‘this isn’t rational’, your ruminations and body responses keep you hooked into imagining the worst possible outcomes
Having thoughts such as “I no longer feel like myself” or “I have never experienced my authentic self” (common themes I observe in the language of clients)
You feel alone and afraid as your brain tells you that you are ‘trapped’ or ‘locked’ in a mindset that can only default to fear
You resort to ‘checking out’ of your mind and body by numbing yourself with escalating crutches and vices such as emotional eating, alcohol, drugs, cigarettes and so on.

Freedom and choice

Austrian psychiatrist and holocaust survivor, Victor Frankel (1905-1997) reminded us that our worst nightmares and experiences can be our best teachers. Dr Edith Eger (another holocaust survivor) added that “healing, fulfilment and freedom come from our ability to choose a response to whatever life brings us, and to make meaning and derive purpose from all we experience – and in particular, from our suffering”. (Eger, 2021, p. 8). In this compassionate way, freedom is a lifetime practice. A choice we get to make again and again each day and “we can’t heal what we don’t feel”.

Freedom lies in our ability to ‘unplug’ from the mind-to-body-fear and find a way to go within and ‘befriend’ the inner child and traumatised parts of ourselves to ultimately ‘re-wire’ our responses to freedom and choice. As Dr Bessel van der Kolk said in his beautiful book: The Body Keeps the Score, “When you activate your gut feelings and listen to your heartbeat – when you follow the interoceptive pathways to your innermost recesses – things begin to change”. (van der Kolk, 2015, p. 238)

Freedom and choice are the kind of emotions most people are searching for. I invite you to leave shame, blame, and needing to be right (all fear-based emotions) further behind you as you become curious and courageous to open your heart to new possibilities.

Tried and tested techniques for you to try

1. Breathing

3 times every hour, aim to practice breathing out for longer than you breath in.

Breath in for 3
Hold for 4
Breath out for 6-7 breaths.

2. Sleep

Aim to get 7-8* hours per night. Good quality sleep not only cleans our brain but it also plays an important role in healing as the brain permits old memories to fade away (van der Kolk, 2015, p.260)

3. Change

Make one small change today. All change takes courage. We only change when we are ready.

4. Self-Talk

“We have a choice” and “that was then and this is now” – good self-talk reminders (Eger, 2021, p. 155)

5. Growth

In every crisis there is a transition.

6. Feeling

Healing requires feeling. “What do I feel in my body right now?” Find ways of experiencing your body through movement such as exercise, dance, theatre, yoga, etc.

Remember that what we practice we get better at. We also know from the work of the wonderful authors who have inspired this blog post, that energy flows where attention goes – what you pay attention to grows stronger… The choice is yours. We have a choice about how much of our daily lives we hand over to F.E.A.R. and each of us have the capacity to flip fear to a more loving frequency.

Face Everything And Rise

And if you need some assistance to shift the past further behind you so you can access more energy and greater choices, give us a call to explore your options.

With love for you and your true potential,

Amanda x

*The minimum number of hours recommended for adults; younger and older people require more hours than this (Huffington, 2016)

References

Dispenza, D. J. (2014). You Are the Placebo: Making Your Mind Matter. Hay House.

Eger, E. (2021). GIFT: 12 lessons to save your life. Rider.

Huffington, A. S. (2016). The sleep revolution: Transforming your life, one night at a time (First edition). Harmony Books.

van der Kolk, B. A. (2015). The body keeps the score: Mind, brain and body in the transformation of trauma. Penguin Books.

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