Personal Tech Blog

Life without Karen

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Mon, 22 Jul 2024 13:29:00 +0000

July 2,2024 was one of the best days I have had since Karen died. Attended the Janet Jackson concert with Michelle Baker. Fantastic show and I held on to Michelle the whole night. Her beauty smile and sexy presence energized me the whole night. Hoping to create more events with Michelle in the future.

Life without Karen

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Sun, 02 Jun 2024 22:54:00 +0000

The start of the 6th month,June was an incredible weekend. First, convinced Genise to attend the jazz event at the Dirty Dog Jazz club and she said yes. She was the talk of the night showing off her sexy outfit.

It was a great night plus we talked on the phone for over 2 hours after the event. Genise is a very nice women and maybe in the future we could hook up.

Sunday started off rainy but cleared up through our the day. Met Michelle at the breakfast stop in Southfield and we had a wonderful time. Outside in the parking lot we hugged, I kised her multiple times on the lips, neck, and cheeks. I finally felt that "America's Ass' too. Michelle is such a wonderful woman and I am glad to spend our current limited time together.

Life without Karen

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Wed, 15 May 2024 00:26:00 +0000

The last few weeks overall have been my best in a long time. Hopefully I have found a true woman companion in Michelle Baker. We have had a great time together and this las Friday may be the breakthrough. We both had a great time at the Blue Llama jazz club. I finally kissed her on the neck and lips outside her home Friday night. I did surprise her with the gentle kisses on her neck. Michelle also posted a picture of us on Facebook. I continue at a moderate pace with the relationship but wish I could just kiss and cuddle with her for hours at a time. She one gorgeous,smart and caring black woman.❤️❤️💋💋

Life without Karen

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Wed, 10 Apr 2024 03:32:00 +0000

Today was a good day. Caught up with Michelle Baker at LTU alumni event at Shields Pizza. I believe we synced up and will plan further events after her PMP conference next week. She is so fucking hot, positive energy and intelligent.

Life without Karen

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Tue, 05 Mar 2024 20:04:00 +0000

Seems like life and the universe get together and say, Oh he recovered from that event, hold my beer and let me throw this at him.

Life after Karen Jan 2024

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Mon, 29 Jan 2024 06:29:00 +0000

Well, a positive change for the new year's. Met a women for attending social events. Register as a Friends zone level 2 relationship. Attend events but no real romance. At this point in life, I take what I can get. At least it's not the dreaded friends zone pit level 5 with no hope of anything meaningful. Just need to adjust my life to attract women who will not tose me immediately in the friends zone pit like so many others. This causes me miss and appreciate Karen even more since she never friends zone. Currently not sure to accomplish that task.

Life after Karen. Not a Happy New Year 2024

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Tue, 02 Jan 2024 02:09:00 +0000

This is the 3rd New Years without Karen. Went out to Jazz event but no one to ring in the New Year again. 2023 was a year of pure loneliness. Attended events and meet people but no one to really talk and have companionship. Accepting the fact that these last 20 - 40 years and planet Terra may not have contain any true female companionship, just minor acquaintances. The women I know do not have any interest in becoming a companion only occasional phone contact. Getting use to coming to an empty home and no one to talk to.

1000 Days since Karen died

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Wed, 08 Nov 2023 17:20:00 +0000

November 5, 2023 was 1000 days since Karen died. Nothing will ever truly fill the loss.

Life after Karen The Most HEARTBREAKING Moments From After Life S3 | Netflix

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Tue, 03 Oct 2023 17:32:00 +0000

This is a good depiction on my life today.

Life without Karen , the LX decade.

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Wed, 20 Sep 2023 15:15:00 +0000

I begin the next decade of my life reaching 60 years old today. The fifties started off good but went downhill hill fast and totally crashed on Karen's death on February 9,2021. I enter this new decade without her and alone. I do my best to slowly move forward. Just so fucking empty.

Life without Karen

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Tue, 20 Jun 2023 17:00:00 +0000

Today is 5 years since Dad died.

3 years since Karen died. This new millennium and my decade of 50 years old is nothing but heartbreaking. It's been an down hill slide since 2013 and since 2018 a masters degree in sorrow.

Life after Karen

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Sat, 27 May 2023 02:00:00 +0000

Feeling more like an old man everyday. I am thankful to ne this age but being alone makes it harder. Always the lone wolf looking inside the social events.

What After Life Teaches Us About Grief | Netflix

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Wed, 19 Apr 2023 19:23:00 +0000

Life without Karen

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Fri, 14 Apr 2023 00:50:00 +0000

Warm spring today. Belle Isle was on jam with couple's, friends, and family.

Just felt like a lonely old man.

No connections to really share 100%.

Life without Karen

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Mon, 20 Mar 2023 14:30:00 +0000

6 months till 60 years old. This was to be one of the last few great milestones in life and currently feels so empty. Each day seems the same. Not much to look forward to. Unable to create lasting relationships or joy these last few months. Disappointment is now the rule of the day. No great expectations , just to expect disappointment. Have to make life go in my direction for a change. This decade is the worst since the 1980s.

Life without Karen 2023

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Tue, 24 Jan 2023 02:05:00 +0000

Just a New Year, no happy yet. Approaching 2 calendar since Karen died and 3 years of missed major events. Both hips are now replaced so major physical pain will be reduced but emotions still low. Loneliness has settled in and maybe by the big 60 that could change.

Must go back in the workforce to make a living, sell other unit, clear out all storage area, and remove Karen's belongings. All I can say is these last 6 years, I am truly at the lowest point in my life.

Life without Karen 2022

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Thu, 29 Dec 2022 03:45:00 +0000

The new year starts in 3 days. I will be going out alone but was fully prepared mentally. 2023 marks year 60 on this planetary body called Earth. Not sure what to do to mark this landmark but Karen will not be here for the celebration. Motto for 2023; It is what it is. Taking back the helm from this grief and sorrow path. Controlling my expectations and work to increase personal happiness.

Life after Karen

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Tue, 20 Dec 2022 18:33:00 +0000

Last entry of the year possibly. Second holiday season without Karen. So isolated at home by myself. No shoulder to cry on take help relief the pain of being alone during what is to be a joyous time of year. Getting harder to get out bed the laat few weeks. Looking forward to New Year's eve event but realize not to allow my expectations to run wild.

Physical pain is reduced and after January 2023, should be at more manageable levels.

https://youtu.be/9EqMmGlTc_w

Today's theme

Life without Karen

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Tue, 20 Sep 2022 23:31:00 +0000

Its now year 2 celebrating my time around the Sun. It so empty and lonely especially this year. The big LX next year. Physical pain is greatly reduced but still a big hole in my heart. An appropriate rainy day today for this Birthday.

Life without Karen

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Tue, 05 Jul 2022 18:54:00 +0000

These last few weeks have been very empty. Days blur into weeks and now months. Holidays have little meaning. Just hanging in on the little blibs of events. Just barely able to laugh.

Life without Karen

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Fri, 17 Jun 2022 14:29:00 +0000

I have come around a complete circle in life. I watched the new Top Gun movie alone at the theater over 30 year later watching the original movie alone in 1986.

😭😭😭😭

alone

Life without Karen

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Tue, 14 Jun 2022 16:16:00 +0000

Happiness depends on having something to do, someone to love and something to look forward to.

Currently no one to love or hug. Little connection since most of my causes have also dried up. Feels like looking from the outside of the world.

Life after Karen

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Thu, 02 Jun 2022 00:02:00 +0000

My life has been a slow slope of advances but with many steps backward. I move forward,then fallback, move up a bit, then fall back. Since 2018, just a series of set backs: Dad died in 2018, pushed out of job due to racism in 2019, Covid hits me and Karen in 2020, Karen dying in 2021. The fabulous 50's of my life quickly turned into the total crashing of everything. Truly have hit the absolute bottom with my milestone Birthday of 60 next year. I realize that life is worse for others in the world but having a hard time finding the joy in life currently. Not ready to hit the self destruct button but need a major boost soon to contine.

Life after Karen

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Tue, 19 Apr 2022 19:18:00 +0000

Life for me is a shit show since 2018.

Dad died 2018, pushed out of job in 2019,Covid 2020 and Karen died 2021.

Find it hard to continue with the game of life. Believed so many lies on life and how it was supposed to work.

Life after Karen

noreply@blogger.com (C Samuels Jr) — Wed, 06 Apr 2022 23:57:00 +0000

These last few months are very difficult. Hard to get out of bed unless an event is planned or critical task to perform. Just lay in bed most day till late afternoon. Weekends just run together.

Hard to get motivated but still able to laugh and limited enjoyment at outside events.

Need to some hugs. Missing human contact. Hug batteries are nearly empty.