Iowa City is a pretty walkable town, so we decided to walk the 5-6 blocks from the hotel to the church. It was nice, after being cooped up in the car all morning. We expected Pookie to bring at least one of his dogs, but he didn’t. He left them all sleeping in the hotel room. (he put them on the pillow and pulled the covers up to their little doggie chins). At the last minute, Giggles decided to bring her dog, Caprico. Caprico technically belongs to Giggles. But Pookie has merged Caprico into his Dog Pack. So, its always interesting to see what Pookie does when Giggles asserts her ownership. In this case, he allowed it, and just kept an eye on Caprico from a distance.

As you may have expected, Geetle did not want to wear a dress to the wedding. I know you would be shocked if I still expected her to wear dresses. Its just not who she is. I have accepted it and truly don’t have an issue with it. As long as she looks tidy, I don’t care if its in a dress or not.

Weeks ago, I had been planning wedding attire and asked her if she would like it if I got her and Pookie matching shirts for the wedding. I was thinking polo shirts, in the same color. Instead, I found 2 light blue Oxford shirts on the clearance rack at JCP and thought they would look cute with khakis. When I showed them to Geetle, she got very excited and asked if she and Pookie could wear ties too. I admit….they looked adorable! And it was her idea. Giggles wore a new party dress, new sandals that she later declared to be the worst shoes ever (because of the “toe separator”) and a friendship necklace that she and EB made out of 2 pipe cleaners and 2 mini wooden thread spools.

The wedding itself was very nice. Pookie had a complaint about the pipe organ, but that part did not last long. He actually didn’t really complain, he just made me help him cover his ears when the lady played it. The kids all did great. I know it was not their favorite part, but they were very well-behaved.

In the lobby afterwards, we discovered that Geetle is nearly as tall as Great Grandma J. I suspect that the next time we see her, Geetle will be in the lead.

We walked back to the hotel after the wedding. I like walking with my little family. I like when Giggles stops to look at flowers. I like it when Geetle reminds everyone to wait at the curb so we can cross together. I like it when BAGD holds my hand.

I do not like it when Pookie finds a dead sparrow and picks it up for a closer look.

************************
Stay tuned for part 3!

One of BAGD’s Peoria cousins got married in Iowa this weekend. It was almost enough to fry our circuits, since the cousins on the OTHER side of the family are collectively known as his “Iowa Cousins”. So for a Peoria, IL cousin to get married in Iowa was a real brain pickler. And then, on top of that, the wedding was in Iowa City, the homeland of BAGD’s mighty Iowa Hawkeyes! We were all akilter and extremely excited all weekend (or, at least I was..but I am easily akiltered.)

We set out early Saturday morning, as the drive to IA is about 3 hours. We all remembered the last time we set out for a wedding in IA…and missed the ceremony…so we were determined to improve our stats. We had been talking to the kids about the wedding for a few weeks. We needed to prep Geetle for the fact that she would be expected to tighten up her pony tail and “dress up.” We needed to prep Pookie for the fact that he would need to be quiet at the ceremony and that we were sleeping away from home. Finally, we needed to prep Giggles so that she had time to file the edges off her excitement and bring it down to acceptable public levels.

Pookie also began to prep BAGD and I. Weeks ago, he began to tell us that he was taking his stuffed dog Ribsy to the wedding. We said that was fine. A few days later, he announced that he was taking Ribsy…and Giggles was taking her dog Caprico. We said that was also fine, but that it was up to Giggles. As the days progressed, he began to tell us that he was taking Ribsy, Giggles was taking Caprico, Geetle was taking Biscuit, BAGD was taking Beethoven and I was to take Heavy Dog. We laughed. We should not have laughed.

On Saturday morning, Pookie rushed to gather up all the stuffed dogs. He carried them to the car and sat patiently as we loaded the trunk. As soon as we were underway, he began passing out dogs.

The girls took their assigned dogs, thanked him politely and went back to their books and DS games. I accepted my dog as well. Unfortunately for BAGD, his assigned dog was one known as Beethoven. Beethoven is a foot tall and about 2 feet long. He has hard wooden dowels in his legs and is permanently in a standing position. He is not very compact and cuddly.

Pookie kept offering Beethoven to BAGD. And BAGD kept declining, citing Beethoven’s size and the fact that he was busy driving. In order to make nice, I tried to accept BAGD’s assigned dog and have it sit on my lap with Heavy Dog. Pookie did not approve. When I took Beethoven, he yelled “BeAGoodMother BeAGoodFamily! Give that dog to BeAGoodFather BeAGoodFamily!” (he thinks using our full names makes it more serious…he might be right.)

When I refused, Pookie took Beethoven back and sat with him on his own lap…..and then quietly tried to sneak the giant dog up between the front seats and on to BAGD’s lap while he drove! We finally found an acceptable solution when Pookie allowed BAGD and I to swap dogs.

When we arrived at the hotel, Pookie collected all our dogs and carried them inside. Upstairs, he and Geetle propped them up on the window sill so that they could see what was going on in the hotel courtyard…the Iowa Pride Festival!

Iowa City has a pretty nice Pedestrian Mall, and our hotel opened right on to it. It was within walking distance to the Old Capital and a bunch of nice shops and restaurants too. The Mall had a playground and water feature as well. We walked around a bit, but didn’t really get to see anything of the Pride Festival. The parade had already ended, and the stage was just being used for impromptu lip-synching acts. Geetle asked us what the party was for (as she tried to sound out the picket sign of the one lone protestor….Luckily, sodomy and abomination are hard words to sound out, by the way, and she gave up).

We explained that the party was to celebrate the fact that in Iowa anyone who wants to get married can do it…no matter who you love. We explained that some people, including that one protestor, think girls have to marry boys and boys have to marry girls. But that all the people at the festival, and BAGD and I, think you can marry whoever you love, even if its another girl, or another boy. She nodded and walked away….because she is 10 and doesn’t want to marry anyone…at all. I don’t think we established any significant understanding of the world, but I think things like that require layers of ground work. So, we laid some foundation about the importance of equality, if nothing else.

*********************
Stay tuned for more about our trip…including the actual wedding stuff!

I took the kids shopping for Father’s Day presents. Geetle picked out a $25 item (can’t say what it is yet!). Pookie was silent, because I had vetoed his “Sunflower in a pot” idea. Giggles wanted to get a $40 item. Geetle thought the $40 item was a good idea, but she had been keeping track of my pennies for me.

Geetle: Is that what you are getting him Giggles?
Giggles: Yep.
Geetle: Uh, well its a lot of money.
Giggles: I want to get it!
Geetle: OK, you can get it….but (waggling her finger at both Pookie and Giggles) its from the both of you. (plus she added a stern look)

BAGD and I love to step back and watch her parent our other children sometimes. Its quite entertaining…and she’s not too shabby at it.

Recently, 2 new co-workers asked me a bunch of questions about Pookie and what life is like for him, and with him. They were truly curious and wanted to understand more about who he really is. I always struggle with those conversations, since I never claim to be an Autism expert. I just claim to be a Pookie Beagoodkid expert.

I talked for a while, they listened, they asked questions, I answered.
I can’t honestly remember most of what I said, but a few things stand out in my memory.

They asked me what the whole “script” thing means. They were very interested in this whole idea.
Does he sound like he is reading from a paper when he talks?
Does he do it all the time?
Does it mean anything?

I tried to answer their questions, but its hard to understand if you don’t live with the boy. And who is to say that its the same for him as other kids. All I can think of is to break it down to an analogy.

Imagine that you are fluent in Mandarin, but then move to the US and want to learn English. You might know a fair number of words, in your head. And if the conversation plays out just right, at just the right speed, you can make a nice sentence and add something to the conversation. But, if things happen too fast, or the subject is too complex, too emotional, too “slangy”, too anything…you have to stay quiet. But in your head, you can see all the words you do know swimming around. But you can’t make them into anything.

Maybe the conversation is about picnics. You love picnics and want to talk about them too. You can understand everything they are saying, but when it comes down to it, the only English words you can pull out of your own head and offer to the conversation are “hot dog” and “park”.

But wait! You once saw an episode of Phineas and Ferb where they went on a picnic! All you have to do is remember the words from that episode (and you do know it all by heart!) and just repeat them! Yes! There they are! Valid, important words about picnics. Sure, they are a word-by-word recitation of that TV show episode, but thats OK! You can talk about picnics too! And when the words run out, when the episode of Phineas and Ferb is over, you can just repeat it over from the beginning! Perfect!

That is a script. And that is why he does it. One of the reasons anyway.

The kids started Summer Camp this week. They are at Mamaw’s Mondays and Tuesdays, Summer Camp on Wednesdays and Thursdays and then hanging out at home on Fridays. They are pretty excited about all of these scheduled events and we are having our first full week of the new system.

Last Summer we went to the Summer Camp at the Park and Rec department near my office. This year, since I switched departments and am now technically a 100% tele-worker, we are going to Camp right down the street, close to home. Last year went well, it was the first time Pookie had been in an all-day, long-term babysitting environment. Geetle kept an eye on things and we didn’t have any big issues.

This year, Pookie is an old-timer at this “Camp” thing and he seems to be settling in all right. We did have a few moments worth noting:

1. Looks like I will have to continue to put Geetle in charge of passing out the afternoon snacks at camp, just like last year. If I give him a snack for after lunch…he eats it at lunch. He is sort of a “eat everything in the lunch box” sort of guy. But we know that.

2. He remembers quite a bit about last year’s camp and is trying to make relevant comparisons to this year. Last year, the Campers walked to the city pool every day; a distance of 4 blocks or so. This year the local camp is in more of a wooded area and quite far from our city pool. I assumed (silly me) that it was obvious that the Camp would provide transportation to the pool each day. Pookie thought this was worth clarifying and asked me point blank if he had to walk to the pool each day.

3. Geetle says that she and the counselor talked Pookie into jumping off the end of the high dive today. Usually he sort of dismounts via the side of the diving board, in more timid way. But apparently he is getting over that.

The girls are also loving Camp. Since this is close to home, there are a few kids from school at Camp, which Geetle loves. They have played baseball, dodgeball, and Slip n Slide already, so she is in Heaven.

Giggles loves the idea of being at such a big kid place. She ran around the night before, eagerly checking things off of the “Campers Checklist” that we had been mailed. She laid her shoes by the front door and made sure to have a hat, because the checklist said so, even though she has not worn a Summer hat for any other reason before or since. We had to upgrade her to a full-sized backpack to hold all her supplies and lunch box. She looks like a tortoise carrying the thing, its hilarious. Today, they rode in a REAL SCHOOL BUS to the pool! Her first time in a yellow bus! She was so excited.

At this point, it looks like their enthusiasm will last thru the Summer!

I guess it was a mouse! Either that, or the home remedies work. We put a bowl of vinegar and an open box of baking soda near Stink Central and within a day or two…things were back to normal!

I just got back from a 4 day business trip. I nailed the 4 presentations that I gave to the New York branches, BAGD and the kids missed me the appropriate amount while I was gone, the house was tidy when I got back….it was a successful trip all around. Except for one thing.

BAGD informed me last night, while I was in a hotel in Uniondale, NY, that he and Geetle were pretty sure that something had “died” under our porch. I responded with skepticism. I mean…come on…its probably a stinky towel in the laundry room or something.

BAGD assured me that its one of those smells that you just know when you smell it. And now that I am home, I can agree…some thing done died up in there.

So, what now?

You can smell it in the basement and by the front door the most, which makes sense with his porch theory. You really notice it when you first enter the front door. There is no real way to tell what we are dealing with her, and where it is exactly. We have a concrete porch and can’t really get under there…plus that might not be precisely where it is. Might be the that weird soffit thing in the basement near the porch area.

So, we Googled it. The professional advice is to just wait it out. Apparently mice /rats will stink for a week. Raccoons for a month. Put out some air fresheners, they say, and wait it out. So, I guess that is what we will do.

I don’t know if I wrote about this at the time (couldn’t find it in my archives) so I wanted to jot it down now. This story came up over dinner the other night, for some reason.

When Giggles was an infant, only a few months old, Geetle became really interested in baby dolls, of course. She had about 5-6 of them and they all had names. I remember Burnita, was one. I wish I could remember the others. As you know, 4 1/2 year old Geetle was my little assistant when Giggles was born, and she learned a lot by watching me. When she played with her baby dolls, she was all business and treated them very well.

So….

One day, 4 1/2 year old Geetle was playing babies while I sat in the living room with baby Giggles. Geetle announced that she was leaving, and asked if I would please babysit her babies while she was gone. I said sure, no problem.

Geetle put all the babies on a blanket, covered them up with another blanket, kissed them and left. She walked into the other room and sat on a chair for about 20-30 seconds, looking at a picture book. She came back into the living room and announced:

Geetle: I’m back! How are the babies?
BAGM: They’re doing fine. Very good babies.
Geetle: (concerned) Uhhhh…did you feed them?
BAGM: No, they slept the whole time you were gone.
Geetle: (aghast, approaching me in a very alpha-dog sort of way) You didn’t feed them?! I was gone EIGHT HOURS!!!
BAGM: Well…I…ahhh…I just thought….
Geetle: (gathering her babies up while glaring at me over her shoulder) They get hungry you know!

You’ve probably never seen me cry.
But I do.

I cry when Pookie flawlessly delivers his one line in the 4th grade play.
I cry when he tears off his entire big toenail because he can’t stop fussing with a hangnail.

I cry when the girls are truly exited to play one of Pookie’s weird games.
I cry when the girls can’t go to the library because I have to stay home with a melting down Pookie.

I cry when Pookie pays for popcorn all by himself at the School Fun Fair.
I cry when he pulls his pants down in Target.

I cry when I see Pookie playing so well with his 4th grade friends.
I cry when I think about what High School might be like.

I cry when a smiling stranger asks Pookie a question about his stuffed dog, Ribsy.
I cry when he screams at a random crying baby at the Museum.

I cry when Pookie has days of total lucidity and everything he says is relevant and makes some kind of sense.
I cry when he gets on a downward spiral and ricochets from one screaming fit to another.

I cry when Pookie tries new foods, never hassling us or making faces, no matter how what we put in front of him.
I cry when he starts nagging me at 3:30 for dinner, or pitching a fit because there is no dessert tonight.

I cry when Pookie makes beautiful drawings of dogs and cats.
I cry when I realize its just another script.

I cry when he politely asks to watch Wheel of Fortune.
I cry when I have to say its not on today, knowing that he will ask me 100 more times.

I cry when Pookie asks to go to bed, because its late and he says he is tired.
I cry when he wakes up at 5am every morning and starts doing his Frog and Toad script into his kareoke machine, over and over, outside my bedroom door.

I cry.
Believe me, I cry.