The quote I mentioned above has always stayed with me and you don’t have to live in New York to know the feeling. Being successful at feeling gratitude or excitement about our successes can be a huge challenge if there are areas of your life you are unhappy with. I don’t know about you but I know that part of the reason I don’t allow myself to embrace the good is because I think it means I’m not giving enough focus to the areas of my life that I’m unhappy with. So, how do we celebrate success in one area without it affecting our ability to move forward in others?

Start by realizing that praising our success, in any area of life no matter how big or small, is just as important as creating goals for new success. For example, if you spend all day searching for a new job or apartment afterwards have dinner with a close friend or loved one. Spend the end of your day celebrating the success of that great relationship. Allow yourself to laugh and embrace the joy of good company. Or, if you have the job and the house but what you want is someone to share it with, be proactive while improving yourself. Start taking yoga or cooking classes, this way you’re not only improving yourself, but you’re putting yourself in situations to meet like minded people.

On the journey to being grateful we can’t forget to feed our spirit. So often when we become obsessed with the things in our lives that we aren’t satisfied with, our spirit is the first thing to take a backseat. For so long I thought that nurturing my spirit was too time consuming. I knew I didn’t have time to meditate hours on end, so I pushed the idea aside. But the farther I got on my journey, the more important I realized taking this time was. So I began to evaluate what I needed to feel reconnected with myself and I got honest about how much time I could give. So I’ve tried to create little things or habits that force me to be still a few moments a day. It can be doing a Pilates DVD or reading a good book. But taking this time, no matter how short, is essential to feeding my spirit and therefore becoming more grateful.

At White House Black Market, we call this pant the City Pant. That is probably definitely not it’s actual name but that’s what they like to do. Whatever it’s real name, I absolutely adore these pants, and they have been seen everywhere (literally in almost every store). They are a light weight ankle pant that can be dressed up or down, just depending on what you pair with them. What’s also really cool is the fact that they come in almost EVERY color (just like jeans!) but also multiple different patterns. That’s what’s cool. So, you could get a khaki pair like I did (for work, obvi) and a crazy geometric colorful pair, and still maintain your own style. I honestly want like ten pair. This pant is the perfect way to start transitioning your wardrobe from summer to fall (even though you might now want to). Stay tuned for what the hot item is next week!!!

All any of us can do is try. If you do something every day to take you one step closer to your goal, you’re on track. I’ve talked about this topic many times throughout the life of bebecause.com. I think it’s because it’s an endless journey for me and for all of us. Enjoying every moment and all the in between is hard when we have so many things on the outside screaming for our attention. In my quest for joy and gratitude I’ve decided to meditate. I’ve never meditated before and I have no idea how to go about it. I’ve done research and meditate seems to be a pretty loose term. It means different things to different people.
So what I’m going to do to meditate is reserve 15 minutes a day to write in my journal and to list all the things I’m grateful for. In addition I’m going to write all the things that are keeping me from being in touch with the positive voices in my mind. Hopefully in doing this I can identify the things that are bothering me and keep me from breathing. If nothing else at least my meditation will provide me with a few deep breathes every day.

Please share with me your methods for meditation in the comment box below.

I’ve spent my entire life being inspired by every song I hear and every movie I see. Nothing makes me want to take over the world like an epic film and nothing makes me want to fall in love more than a romantic comedy. But what happens when you grow up and realize that life is hard. Harder than you thought and certainly harder than anyone ever warned you about it being. What happens when although the music is playing, you’re so lost in your own thoughts you can’t hear it? You stop. You have to stop and be.

I’ve being struggling with being inspired lately because all the things around me that demand attention(bills, bills, bills) clog my mind and literally stop anything new and inspiring from entering. At first I tried to attack it head on. I read new blogs, watched videos, dug up old songs and movies, but nothing was changing. I couldn’t figure out what I was doing wrong. Then it hit me, just yesterday. I stopped and thought about all the times I was really inspired and realized that in those times I wasn’t trying, I was just being. I was doing the very best I could, in wherever I was and I was opened to be inspired. I allowed myself to be still. I didn’t punish myself for watching a movie in the middle of the day or for sleeping in. I allowed myself to find joy in the little things, even if they didn’t seem to be moving me forward.

So what this time has taught me is to enjoy the in between. While I’m certainly not where I thought I would be in my career at this time, I have so many other wonderful things to be thankful for. Many of my dreams have already come true and I’m certain if I can be still and find joy in the small things, inspiration will find me.

I am guilty of feeling all of those things on multiple occasions, and will probably be guilty of feeling them again. It feels good at time to carry around the angry, it makes me feel justified, like if the person that hurt me knows I’m still angry then they are getting what they deserved, right? I mean every action has a reaction, and if you hurt me then my reaction is to hold on to the pain, because hopefully doing so also causes you pain.

The problem is that carrying around anger and hurt means that I have to live through it. I have to feel those emotions and deal with the overflow of that negativity. Here’s the truth: short and simple. Forgiveness is more for us than it is for the person that hurt us. We are only responsible for the feelings we carry around. For some of you that may be hard to hear because you have been hurt and you want someone else to answer for that pain, but the truth is you can let it go if you want.
You can forgive the person that wronged you and feel the freedom of not carrying around the pain. All of the power is yours. Maybe you don’t want to let go because the hurt is comfortable, because you’ve held it for so long letting it go is terrifying.

Maybe you just aren’t ready, and that’s fine. The journey is yours, but I promise you the freedom that comes from letting go and forgiving will be worth it. Cliche time: Forgive and forget. Nearly impossible, but can you imagine how nice it would be to walk around without the weight of all your hurt?
Start with something small, and work your way up to things that seem too big to let go of. It will probably get easier each time you do it. I have a pile of my own I’m working through. I’m having an emotion spring cleaning (even though it’s July) and the space in my head and heart is cleaner all the time.

So if you need to throw out some emotional crap, I have rented a very large dumpster so come on over. There is plenty of room.

2. Exercise. Move that butt! Walking, dancing or swimming 30 minutes a day can help decrease stress and your chances of depression. Not to mention it increase your metabolism!

3. Hit the list. You know, that list of little things that stresses you out on a semi regular basis, but you never take the time to do. Organize your closet, clean out the freezer or finish a book you started 6 months ago.

4. Volunteer. Giving back is important for clearing your head, feeling reconnected and bringing joy to other people.

5. Enjoy! You work hard, so when you have a day off don’t feel guilty doing absolutely nothing or watching a Kardashian marathon.

On a beautiful March day I woke up, from a very successful night of sleep, and got ready for another Monday school day. I crawled out of bed, stumbling in the dark to the sink to begin the usual everyday routine of getting ready.

Step one: Contacts in / teeth brushed
Step two: Shower it up, while singing Mumford and Sons
Step three: Make up and attempt to make my hair presentable
Step four: Put on cloths

Step four is where my problems began on this sunny day. I had picked out the night before this very cute blue and white striped dress that I had gotten for Christmas. I had not had a chance to wear it since the weather had been freezing or raining up to this interesting day. Now this dress was kind of tight and short, but I was like “Hey, it looks cute and it’s long enough, not slutty short.

I rushed out the door with my coffee cup in hand and five minutes till class. While walking across campus I realized my dress seemed to want to be a shirt, because every step I took the dress began to become shorter and shorter. I did my best to pull it down but my attempts were surely failing. It didn’t help that every time I pulled it down the more cleavage I showed and so adding to my problems of looking like a hooker.

I began to notice people around me, every guy was checking out my ass and every girl was screaming “SHE’S SUCH A SLUT” in their heads. It was too late to go back to my dorm and change, and so this slutty dress became my name tag for the moment. “Hooker” seemed to be written across my chest. This unbearable judgment came over me and I felt like every eye was on me.

It’s funny to me that because this one thing you say, do, or in my case wear, you can shape the way the world around you sees you forever. I can admit that I can offer judgment as easy as the next person…though I can also admit that this quality is not a trait I brag about. It does not make sense that our identity lies in what we wear, say, or do. Or maybe if we looked a little deeper we’ll find the true person and not the one we so easily identify.

The one thing that keeps me from being the best version of myself is me. For as long as I can remember my father has harped on me about being motivated and having confidence. It’s only now that I realize what he meant. Because I never actively thought, “I’m not good enough”. So I thought the self esteem comment was ungrounded. And while I’m good at doing nothing on a Sunday, I’m by no means lazy. So what did he mean and why won’t he keep saying it after twenty seven years?

It’s because he could see what I’m only now able to see, or understand. That having self confidence and motivation is the base of all success. It plays a part in the way you approach every area of your life. So first I’ll approach the self esteem journey.

Having self esteem seems so easy and if you’re like me, you think so long as you don’t make a habit of telling yourself ‘you suck’ then you have high self esteem. But what I started to realize is that my actions were a result of my lack of self esteem. I was not only staying in relationships, romantic or other, that I was not only being treated poorly but also giving these people attention instead of myself because I didn’t believe in myself enough to walk away. But relationships are a pretty common ground for which to discuss self esteem. We have all had the friend that stayed with the jerk because she thought she wasn’t good enough to find anyone else. So I can see where my dad was coming from here, because I have dated some real jerks.

So ok, self esteem and relationships got it, but what else? This is where it gets tricky for me. I actually feel uncomfortable talking about it. I have friends that have nailed it. They have self esteem and share it with everyone. They think that they deserve everything great that comes along and their right, because they have worked for it. I should have them write this paragraph. I think the key to building self esteem is to focus on the things in life that you are great at. Celebrate all of your strong points and stop worrying constantly about what you can’t do. If there is a job that you really want but aren’t necessarily qualified to do, do more research on the it. Find what about the job you are good at and apply. When you interview spend the time talking about what you can bring and learn, not why you shouldn’t be hired. Hang reassuring phrases on your mirror to look at every morning, it sounds corny but it’s true. Building and embracing high self esteem is a life long journey. But you deserve it, so start now.

Ok so onto motivation. The Dalai Lama recently said that the first thing he thinks of when he wakes up in the morning is, “Shaping motivation.” He said, everyone, including himself, has to be vigilant so intentions are focused in the right direction, and that shaping his motivation on a daily basis reminds him to extend loving kindness and compassion to all others. Such motivation takes you beyond yourself so you are not limited by a lack of confidence or self-esteem. Ah. Sounds so easy when put that way. The only thing I can say about motivation is that the only way I have found to be motivated is to take steps. Set goals for yourself and do one thing every day that brings you closer to that goal. This will keep you actively moving forward and prevent a burn out. I’ve also found that sharing your goals with other, can help increase motivation. Having someone to be accountable to really helps me stay motivated when all I want to do is quit.

Check this out! Oprah has an entire book dedicated to phrases that encourage.

http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Os-Words-That-Matter-Inspirational-Quotes

This is why people stop working out after six weeks or so. They either get burned out because they aren’t enjoying what they are doing or they get hurt because the loose focus. Working out doesn’t have to be something you dread. It’s been engrained in us since we were young, that staying in shape isn’t fun. High school two a day’s anyone? We have been made to believe that if you don’t dread your workout and feel a certain level of pain, it was a waste of time. But I challenge this. I don’t hate working out, I hate doing Jillian Michaels videos every day. And just because everyone else loves them, doesn’t mean I have to. I love swimming and doing Pilates. I look forward to them. I don’t even think of them as a workout or something I have to do. I can pepper in some Jillian to build muscle but I think I’ll leave her 30 day shred to the others.

So if you’re over working out or in a rut, find something new. Try rock climbing or yoga. Challenge yourself to find something that you have fun doing, while staying healthy.

First, research, research, research!!! Find what you want to do and figure out how to do it. Sometimes it includes going to school or taking additional classes. If you’re like me and you have to work full time, the thought of going to school is overwhelming and frankly unwelcome. But no one says you have to go to school full time. Take one or two classes a semester. By over working yourself or forcing yourself to take on too much, the joy of doing what you want will fade.

Secondly, commit! This can seem like the easiest part, but it’s often the hardest. Committing to something new or trying a new career can feel crazy or even embarrassing. But if you don’t give 100% and enlist the support of others, you aren’t really giving yourself a chance.

And finally! Don’t forget to have fun! It’s great to focus but if you are working full time and going to school part time, or whatever it is you have to do, pause for some fun. Take a night off to watch a chick flick or read a book you weren’t assigned to read. Take a moment here and there to reconnect with yourself. Allowing a little time for fun will help prevent you from getting burned out. This way you will go back with a fresh mind, allowing you to do your best.

I use different types of exercise to do the same thing. It gives me a break from thinking about the stresses of my life and lets me escape the problems. I think this is one of the most beneficial reasons to work out and be active… that is as long as you eventually come back to reality.

There is a woman that runs along my street all the time. I would argue more than once a day. Sometimes I see her in the morning when I’m headed to work, sometimes she is running when I am coming home, sometimes I see her in the morning and evening (I hope she has really good shoes).

She is always very focused; eyes glued straight in front of her, never distracted by anything. Sometimes I wonder why she runs so hard and the other day I couldn’t help but wonder what she is running from?

People use all kinds of mechanisms to avoid facing their problems, because in truth it is much easier to run from the difficult things in life than stand strong and face them head-on. Facing your issues or problems or the impossible circumstances you can find yourself in, means owning responsibility (if there is any) demonstrating courage, asking for forgiveness (if it is required), be willing to forgive, and mustering the strength to change.

Problems are like monsters running along behind you; no matter how fast you run at any moment that monster could leap from the ground and squash you like a bug (sad, but true). You can’t out run them, you can’t over power them, and you can’t hide from them. Only dealing with them makes them shrivel back into the dark and disappear.

Stop running from your problems, stop beating your feet against the pavement hoping the sound will scare away what’s following you. I promise if you turn around it will still be there. I know facing problems is painful, but you have more strength inside you than any problem has. You have always had the power to face and defeat each struggle that comes your way.

Cheesy (yet true) cliché: life will never give you anything you can’t deal with, and tomorrow will never give you anything you can’t handle today.

So turn those running shoes around, face your monsters and  once he (or she) is defeated, then do a victory lap. I won’t be running beside you, but I’ll be cheering super loud from the sidelines.

One of my all time favorite tools in the kitchen is (you probably guessed it by the title of this article) my crock pot!  When we first got it for our wedding, I thought, how often are we even going to use this, we don’t make roast beef that often!  Boy was I wrong.  There are an infinite amount of recipes available for the crock pot.  There is anything from a delicious breakfast ready when you wake up, to desserts, and everything in between.  You can do big hunks of meat (pot roast, pork butt, etc.) or pastas and casseroles.  I mean, Google “crock pot recipes” and you will find sites with literally thousands of recipes.  The crock pot is one of those devices where you throw everything in, set it, and forget it.  Come back a few hours later and your food is delectable and waiting for you!  I am absolutely in love with my crock pot, so if you don’t have one, I would definitely suggest you get one (plus you’ll need one to make this amazing chicken recipe)!

I made this recipe a couple of weekends ago for my friends and everyone raved about it.  Some of you out there may have seen it around, because it has been all over the place, but if you haven’t, it’s a recipe you definitely need in your repertoire of dinners.  It was absolutely delicious and it was so incredibly easy.  So without further or due, here is the recipe for the Italian Crockpot Chicken!

Ingredients:

• 4 boneless/skinless chicken breasts
• 2 cans of Campbell’s Cream of Chicken soup
• 8oz. package of cream cheese
• 1 packet of Good Seasons Zesty Italian Seasoning Mix

Here is how you make it…

1.       Put the chicken on the bottom of the crock pot

2.       Pour the Italian Seasoning Mix evenly over the chicken

3.       In a saucepan, combine the cans of soup and cream cheese until combined

4.       Pour the soup and cheese mixture over the chicken

5.       Put your crock pot on low and let it cook for at least 4 hours

6.       Take out the chicken and either cut it up or shred it (mine was so tender, it fell apart so I shredded mine)

7.       Put the chicken back into the sauce and let it simmer for about 10 minutes

8.       If the sauce is too thick, add some milk to thin it out

9.       Serve over rice or egg noodles, and enjoy!

How easy is that!?  Oh goodness it was so yummy.  We didn’t even need rice or noodles with it, it was great on its own.

Here are a couple of extra things I did to mine that I think put it over the top!

1.        I poured the seasoning over the chicken and let it sit for a couple of hours to really get those Italian spices in the chicken.

2.       I chopped up some garlic too and put it over the chicken.

3.       I added a little (…probably more like a lot) of parmesan cheese to the soup and cream cheese mixture.

4.       I also added some garlic powder to give it a little more garlic flavor because it’s my favorite.

5.       Once the sauce was done, I added some sour cream along with the milk to make it extra yummy.

This easy and cost-effective meal is wonderful any night of the week.  Another way to make it even easier is now Reynolds’s brand has crock pot liners.  They are these plastic bag looking things that you put into your crock pot before you put all your ingredients in, and it makes for an incredibly easy clean-up.

I hope you guys try this one, anyone you serve it to will be so impressed and you will be grinning because you know how easy it was for you to have your crock pot do all the work! Now into the kitchen and make up some good stuff that your family and friends can enjoy with you!

First, I must tell you about how these cookies have a very special place in my heart. I grew up in Beaverton, Oregon, and my next door neighbor (a wonderfully amazing woman) was my babysitter. She would make these DELICIOUS no-bake cookies for all of us kids and every time I eat them, I think of the great times that we all shared at her house. I even remember when she made them, we just couldn’t wait for them to cool so we could eat them! So to get us to stop bugging her, she would take a spoonful of the warm cookie “batter” and plop it into our hands. Then we’d run outside to the play structure and lick our fingers clean! Seriously, these cookies are THAT good.

So, without further or do, here is the recipe to these easy and yummy no-bake cookies!

Ingredients you will need:

* 2 cups sugar
* 4 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
* 1 stick butter (hey..I didn’t say these were healthy cookies!)
* 1/2 cup milk
* 1 cup peanut butter
* 1 tablespoon vanilla
* 3 cups oatmeal
* Wax or Parchment Paper

1. In a saucepan, bring to a boil the butter, sugar, cocoa, and milk.
2. Let this mixture boil gently for 1 minute.
3. Add peanut butter until melted.
4. Add vanilla.
5. Add oatmeal
6. Drop the mixture in heaping tablespoons onto a sheet pan lined with wax paper.

Allow those puppies to cool (or not, like me!) and then enjoy! These are so easy and are great last minute additions to parties or get togethers. This is also a great recipe for kids to help in the kitchen because it is really easy and they can learn about cooking terms like measurements and “boiling”. I hope you guys enjoy these cookies as much as I do! Now, get in that kitchen and start making memories!

Peplum is an extra piece of fabric attached to a dress, blazer or even a skirt, that flares right above your waist, creating a very eye pleasing line from your waist to your hips. (Now, everything probably makes sense.) I can hear everyone out there going “Ohhhhh, that’s what those things are…” Yes, it takes some getting used to, but I assure you, if you were to wear a peplum dress to a party, you would be a hit. The extra bit of fabric actually makes you look slimmer because it accentuates your waist. And if you are already slendor, it will give the illusion of curves. Either way, it’s a winner ?