If you enjoyed reading “Eat Pray Love”, perhaps you’d like to create your own eat pray love experience with me on my Italy Retreat for Women to live la dolce vita, the sweet life. Even though the Italy Retreat this September is filled, I encourage you to make plans for the September 2011 Italy Retreat.

How can you prepare?
4 Steps:

1.) Start saving money for the trip.  Have a special jar on your shelf or a travel savings account. Each week add more to your Italy jar.

2.) Create the trip in your imagination. Visualize yourself strolling along the Mediterranean, eating gelato or enjoying a spa on the Italian island of Ischia or Capri.

3.) Jump out of the duldrums and be courageous like Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat Pray Love. Check out her book if you haven’t already, and read other books about Italy throughout the year. Some of my favorite books to read about Italy can be found on my Italy Retreat blog.  Just scroll to the bottom of the page.

4.) Even if you don’t create your own Eat Pray Love experience in Italy, find the moments in your life to go for more than you ever dreamed possible.

The book was a huge success and I’m sure the movie will be too (opening Friday August 13) because Elizabeth captures the joy of courageously following a dream, even though it may not be supported by others.  She also reminds us that we will recover from sadness in our lives.

I love this section  from the book about happiness:

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”

Each day think of 3 aspects to experience happiness:

EAT: I’m not promoting eating your troubles away in order to find happiness. Far from that, but part of travel in Italy naturally includes indulging in the pleasure of eating delicious food.  Again, if your eat pray love adventure does not include leaving your own town, know that eating is symbolic for experiencing life’s pleasures.

PRAY: is a daily experience whether  or not you are in Italy visiting an ancient church, or enjoying art, architecture, and turquoise waters that take your breath away, you will be filled with tranquility. Even if not in Italy, daily spend time in prayer, meditation, and communing with nature. I’m visiting Boulder and walking in the mountains to connect with the beauty of creation.  This can be deep prayer.

LOVE: Open heart, feel deeply. Think about self-love–you will fall in love with yourself, and the possibilities that the outer beauty of Italy offers. Self-love does not have to mean narcissism, but an appreciation of your beauty and qualities.  Love yourself first to be able to love others in a more accepting way.

How do you manifest eating, praying, and loving in your life?

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Gotta love this kid!

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Commitment is tangible, like the beat of your heart felt in your pulse. Have you ever had the experience of being so committed to a goal that no matter how many roadblocks you encountered, you would not give up? How do you know when to continue in the same vein or take another path? Are the roadblocks a sign that you should quit?

I can’t answer that for anyone else, but I’d advise you if you want to re-examine your commitment, to do 3 things first:  First, be quiet for awhile, secondly, ask yourself questions, and lastly, listen for your answer deep in your soul.

I do know that once I was committed to applying for Italian citizenship for me and my children, I jumped through all the hoops. More than four years ago, I requested information from the U.S. Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services.  It was two years before they even looked at my request. I was told that, every day, they get 96,000 requests.

In order for me to apply for Italian citizenship, I had to prove that my paternal grandfather was still an Italian citizen when my father was born in the United States. If he had denounced his Italian citizenship, then I could not apply.

These last four years have been an emotional roller coaster while I was researching, waiting, gathering documents, having them translated into Italian, getting gold apostilles on each document from State agencies, and waiting some more. I wanted to quit so many times.

Twelve months ago, after driving five hours to the Italian Consulate in the US, to apply, I hit another major roadblock. I was told I had to get a court order from a judge to have the spelling of our last name match the spelling of my grandfather’s name on his Italian birth certificate.

My grandfather hadn’t spelled his name correctly since he arrived in America in 1911. Two letters were different. This meant eight documents had to be re-done, with new gold apostilles, and the translations updated.  It was almost like starting from the beginning, but once I got over the shock, with encouragement from friends, I got off the “pity pot,” and re-committed.

As I kept striving and hitting up against all the impossibles, occasionally a door would crack open, and I’d squeeze through. A helping hand would appear, like my cousin, Sharon, who is a lawyer and spent time working on getting the names changed. Right after a judge and the  director at the Office of Vital Statistics told us that a court order was out of the question, and we could not change our spelling, I met Peter Farina online at his Italian cultural heritage company, italyMONDO! Peter suggested I get a court order from the judge for a “One and the Same Declaration” stating that my grandfather was one and the same person, even though his name was spelled slightly differently.

During this four-year process, many times I would read one of my favorite quotes on commitment by W.H. Murray from his 1951 book entitled The Scottish Himalayan Expedition.

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.”

This quote explains my journey. I ran into challenges up until the night before my appointment, for which Providence moved in the guise of my friend, Rosemarie, who had several new documents translated at the very last minute.

Rosemarie’s Italian Citizenship Company is www.EccolaYourItalianCitizenship.com and she is efficient and thorough in assisting Italian Americans in the application process for dual citizenship. There were so many other roadblocks and some kept getting so ridiculous that sometimes, I just laughed.

As I mentioned in my recent Earth Day Post, on my Earth day birthday, I again drove 5 hours to my appointment to one of the Italian Consulates in the US to once again apply for dual citizenship, and our applications (mine and my two children’s) for Italian Citizenship were accepted, finally!

I do feel like a different person, a warrior of sorts, like I’ve torn through the curtain of impossibilities, to lie on the other side where there’s a field of lavender with lemon and olive groves. I’ve proven my worthiness of returning to my roots.I feel more complete, more Italian. I’m carrying on the connection to my ancestor’s homeland.Otherwise, it would be lost. I’m keeping the connection alive for future generations. I love being a US citizen too, and now I have the best of both worlds.

But, even more importantly, I stayed committed to my cause. The lesson of stick-to-itiveness.The feeling on the other side. That’s the joy and transformation.

How do you know when to quit? If your will is strong, you just keep going, until something gives.

Photo: Lenora committed to getting her Italian Citizenship (dual citizenship)

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Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers in the world!  This is a fun video, but just so you know, the women break dancing are NOT really pregnant, just the women watching.  I was a little worried when I first watched it wondering how one could be pregnant and break dancing!

Here’s to having fun on our special day!

My brother sent me an email about job titles for moms:

A woman, renewing her driver’s license at the County Clerk ’s office,

Was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

‘What I mean is, ‘ explained the recorder,

‘do you have a job or are you just a …?’

‘Of course I have a job,’ snapped the woman. ’I'm a Mom.’
‘We don’t list ‘Mom’ as an occupation,

‘housewife’ covers it,’ Said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself

In the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.

The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,

Efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,

‘Official Interrogator’ or ‘Town Registrar.’

‘What is your occupation?’ she probed.

What made me say it?  I do not know.

The words simply popped out.

‘I’m a Research Associate in the field of

Child Development and Human Relations.’

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and

Looked up as though she had not heard right.   

I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words..

Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,

In bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

‘Might I ask,’ said the clerk with new interest,

‘just what you do in your field?’

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,

I heard myself reply,

‘I have a continuing program of research,

(what mother doesn’t)

In the laboratory and in the field,

(normally I would have said indoors and out).

I’m working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)

And already have four credits (all daughters)

Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,

(any mother care to disagree?)

And I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).

But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers

And the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.’

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk’s voice as she

Completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,

I was greeted by my lab assistants — ages 13, 7, and 3.

Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,

(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,

Testing out a new vocal pattern.

I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!

And I had gone on the official records as someone more

Distinguished and indispensable to mankind than ‘just another Mom.’

Motherhood!

What a glorious career!

Especially when there’s a title on the door.

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Earth Day

Earth Day is my birthday and  I received a great gift from the Italian Consulate in the US yesterday.  I have been working diligently for four years gathering documents for application for dual citizenship  for myself and my 2 kids (my husband can apply once I have a passport). Yesterday, my application was finally accepted after 3 different rejections!  This was the greatest gift I could’ve received. As you know if you’ve read my Italy Retreat Blog, I am passionate about all things Italian.

I’ll write more about this tomorrow, but wanted to celebrate Earth Day too by sharing this wonderful video  by Aqualise that my daughter, Grace, sent to me.

May we take care of planet Earth on this day and always.  Please watch the beautiful video.  What do you do to preserve our planet?

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Letting Go . . Again

Some years ago, I accompanied my husband on a business trip to The Cayman Islands, which are known for some of the best snorkeling in the world. He decided to teach me to snorkel by having me jump from a low wall into rough water wearing my snorkel gear. I began thrashing and almost drowned the two of us. We made it out of the water alive, and then noticed a group of beginner snorkelers swimming in a barrier reef that looked like a shallow pool.

That’s where I finally learned to breathe through that ridiculously narrow tube. I don’t do well when I am thrown in over my head. I like to wade in with my feet touching the bottom, if needed, at least at first. This makes it easier for me to let go of my fears.

Once I got the hang of it, my husband would wake up in the mornings, startled to see me standing beside his side of the bed with my snorkel gear ready to go. I had surrendered to the ocean.

That’s what I felt like when I was thrown into India last week. I again traveled with my husband for this adventure. This time for ayurvedic  health purification treatments.

Even though this was my fourth trip to India, the accommodations were more third world than I expected. My room was without windows and had a broken air conditioner with no one available to fix it. The electricity went out every day at noon for a couple hours without any regard for the 100+ degree temperatures. And did I mention the roaches in my room, including one climbing out of my toothbrush?

I know it sounds strange to many people that I would even go to India for rejuvenation treatments,but it is the home of an ancient health treatment called panchakarma.
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In the same breath, I might add that India is not for wimps, but it is a great place to burn off karma, stretch your boundaries and let go of limiting beliefs. In my clearer moments, I watched preconceived perceptions wash down the drain.

It’s a country of opposites — beggars, poverty, deeply spiritual citizens and holy people in the Himalayan mountains are quite common.

The scene outsidewas interesting — an empty lot filled with trash, that was burned on a daily basis, filling the air with choking smoke. Right next to the lot, was a small country club with a beautiful swimming pool filled with water, but no swimmers.  Indian chants were blasting over a loudspeaker in the lovely park on the other side of the trash lot. The clinic is in a nice neighborhood, so there were no beggars on the streets, nor smoke from cow dung burning at night.

Their standards of cleanliness, however, are different than mine. I won’t even go into detail. Each day I would let go of my notions of what I needed to feel comfortable.

In each moment I had to die to my beliefs of cleanliness, of fine customer service, of being in control of my environment.

India was a gift that gave me practice allowing the death of my ego, the surrender of how things SHOULD be. The little deaths we go through when we fail, or find ourselves in deep water outside our comfort zone, create a more open-hearted, compassionate, enriching life.

For me, I find that coming up for air to find solid familiar space under my feet every once in awhile, supports the practice of letting go.

LETTING GO is a fast track to experiencing strength, growth and freedom. When we choose to try something different, we learn to stay flexible.

Grab change by the hand, maybe get a lifejacket, and swim.

What is your ‘India’? How have you learned to let go? I’d love to hear from  you.

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A recent Gallup Poll, called the Healthways Well-Being Index, has rated Boulder, Colorado, the #1 healthiest and happiest city in the country. It was based on an analysis of 353,000 Americans in 2009.  The interviewers asked individuals to assess their jobs, finances, physical health, emotional state and communities.

Having just visited my daughter, Grace Boyle, who lives in Boulder, I was not surprised.  The restaurants are excellent, the town is surrounded by boulders, mountains, and forests with Boulder Creek flowing through the center of the town.  Boulder is surrounded by a wonderful greenbelt with 120 miles of trails and there are 9 bookstores between 9th and  18th streets.  Does reading books make us happier?  I’m pretty happy when I spend time in bookstores!

I think the 300 days of sunshine per year in Boulder contributes to feeling happy.  In Iowa, I think we have  almost 300 days of gray skies. Okay, this isn’t official data but it seems true.  I think the sunshine alone adds to their happiness level as I’ve written about in many posts about how 20 minutes/day of skin exposure to sunshine is needed to manufacture Vitamin D in our bodies.

I have two conflicting opinions regarding living in locations that ‘make’  you feel happier.  First,  I think the Zen saying is somewhat true, ‘wherever you go, there you are.’ My interpretation is that if you have problems while living in Huntington, WVa, you more than likely take the problems with you, even if you move to Boulder.  (Huntington, W.Va was poorly rated  at #162 at the bottom of the large and medium sized cities in the survey.)

However, I have noticed in my life  that I have felt better in Italy, Florida and Colorado.  I have been pretty happy  wherever I have been, but there are places that I feel more alive.  If there are more jobs, healthier choices available, and like-minded people, the quality of your life could significantly improve. But, again, this doesn’t guarantee peace of mind or happiness.

Boulder’s weather  offers a chance to be outside in the fresh mountain air almost everyday. In addition to the focus on health and exercise, the jobless rate is 5.7%. In the US it is 9.7%. Salaries vary in Boulder but between Denver and Boulder there are 171 start-ups.  Health is an essential contributing factor to happiness, and if you live in Boulder and you’re not in shape, you are a minority.  People of all ages enjoy biking, hiking, skiing, snowshoeing, snowboarding and more.  Bike lanes rule.

The measures used by the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index makes sense to me.

According to their website, “the Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index™ has been developed to provide the official measure for health and well-being. It’s the voice of Americans and the most ambitious effort ever undertaken to measure what people believe constitutes a good life.”

“Over the next 25 years, the Well-Being Index will collect and measure the daily pulse of the nation’s well-being and provide best-in-class solutions for a healthier world. By helping Americans understand how work impacts life and health and conversely how life affects work and health, we can work together to improve well-being for a better way of life.”

According to the  Gallup Poll, the next nine happiest cities in the U.S. are:

#2 Holland-Grand Haven, MI  on the shore of Lake Michigan, western Michigan
#3 Honolulu, HI
#4 Provo-Orem, UT
#5 Santa Rosa-Petaluma, CA
#6 Santa Barbara-Santa Maria-Goleta, CA
#7 San Jose-Sunnyvale-Santa Clara, CA
#8 Washington-Arlington-Alexandria, DC-VA-MD-WV
#9 Ogden-Clearfield, UT
#10 Oxnard-Thousand Oaks-Ventura, CA

How about you?  Are you in a happy city?  Does reading make you happier?  How about sunshine alot of the time?  Let me know

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Happy and Healthy Heart

In 1995 researchers started following 1,739 healthy adults living in Nova Scotia, Canada, for 10 years to determine whether attitudes affected their health.

Known heart disease risk factors were calculated, and still researchers found that the happiest people were 22% less likely to develop heart disease over the 10 years of follow-up than people who were in the middle of the negative-positive emotion scale. This study involved 14,916 person-years of observation.

People with the most negative emotions had the highest risk for heart disease and people who scored highest for happiness had the lowest risk.

On a NONscientific note, when we’re happy, we tend to use expressions describing our heart–such as ‘my heart is full of love’, ‘I’m open-hearted’, or she’s a ‘big-hearted’ person, or my ‘heart is overflowing’. It makes sense to me that the heart is closely linked to happiness.

The researchers  are theorizing that if they could make people happier (‘increase positive affect‘), they could decrease cardiac risk in a larger part of the population.  My personal experience over 18 years of helping people to be happier, shows that when we decrease the number of limiting beliefs we live by, we are free of the pain they create in our lives.  The result is that we feel happier …and often  healthier.

Additional research is needed, to prove (not just to suggest) that heart disease prevention may be helped by experiencing positive feelings as well as reducing symptoms of depression.  The findings also do not prove that happiness protects the heart. This will require rigorous clinical trials. I don’t usually wait for scientists to tell me what I already suspect is true!   One way that happiness may protect the heart is because many happy people eat and sleep better.

Do you have a healthy heart because you have  more positive emotions? What do you think?

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VITAMIN D, the SUNSHINE VITAMIN:  It’s that time of year in the northern hemisphere when there is cloud cover about 70% of the time, and many people begin to feel dreary.

I started taking 5000 international units of vitamin D3 every day exactly  one year ago in January 2009. I wrote the first of 4 posts about the amazing healing properties of Vitamin D3. My main purpose was to offset this feeling of gloom that I feel in the depth of winter.

After only one week, my mind became clearer and that clarity has lasted. I didn’t expect that result, nor did I figure I’d notice any changes that quickly.  It was as though a light had been turned on.

Funny thing is, recently I read Linda Carroll’s article  on msn.com that mentioned a report published in 2006  where Belgian researchers “used functional MRIs to look at the effects of broad spectrum light – which is similar to daylight. They concluded that as soon as people were exposed to bright light, brain activity sparked more strongly. When the light was taken away, brains became less energized.”

I don’t know that this means that all the  people who live in sunny climates have more energized brain activity but when I took Vitamin D it was like pouring sunlight into my brain.

To track my progress, a few weeks ago, I had my blood work done again. The blood sample was sent to Mayo Clinic and I’m happy to report that in one year, my Vitamin D3 level increased from 24 ng/ml to 58, so in twelve months it was raised by 60%. Optimal level is 50-65 ng/ml.

“Big Decision? You May Think Best on Sunny Days” article  by Linda Carroll on msnbc.com also mentioned: “The latest study, conducted at the University of Alabama at Birmingham, found that people were almost three times as likely to have impaired cognition after gloomy weather compared to those in sunny climes, if they were also experiencing some symptoms of depression.

In yet another article entitled, “We Will Be What We Eat” from the February 2010 issue of the U.S. News & World Report, Alice Lichtenstein, director of the Cardiovascular Nutrition Laboratory at Tufts University, stated that “Fewer than 7 percent of Americans between 50 to 70  get enough vitamin D from the foods they eat…”

It’s tough to get enough vitamin D from foods. Since Vitamin D is naturally found in very few foods (like cod liver oil, egg yolks, salmon, and tuna) it’s important to add it to your diet. Some foods like milk and cereals are fortified with vitamin D. Our bodies form vitamin D when our skin is exposed to the sun.  Hence, the problem in northern climates.

Many doctors fear giving higher doses of vitamin D-3, because during their medical training they remember hearing that vitamin D is linked to calcification of tissues.  In fact, calcification of blood vessels and other tissues is much more common with low intakes of vitamin D-3 than high intakes.  Some doctors  may not be familiar with the newer studies, which clearly show that these fears are unfounded.

90 % of what we know about Vitamin D has only been discovered in the last 10 years, as it wasn’t measurable before that. [I shared my experiences with my doctor and asked him to check out the research both from the medical and alternative communities.]

An article that was prepared by Hematology Week editors from staff and other reports in Hematology Week mentioned, “This study is the first indication of a genetic link between vitamin D action and heart disease,” says Robert U. Simpson, professor of pharmacology at the University of Michigan Medical School and one of the authors of the study in the journal Pharmacogenomics.  More research needs to be done and it is ongoing.

Dr. Mercola promotes the importance of getting your blood checked so you have an idea of your levels. He also has vitamin D available as a spray, which is readily absorbable. I’ve always ordered my vitamin D3 from Women to Women where the 30 capsule bottle is $7.00. It’s available from most health food stores also.

The powerful point I want to leave you with is that it’s not just a “sunshine vitamin”– feel happier vitamin, although that makes Vitamin D3 worth its weight in gold, but a vitamin that  has been shown to regulate 2000 genes in your body and have healing or preventative affects on certain cancers, diabetes, immune system, and  heart disease (plus much more).  It is essential for certain absorption of calcium and other nutrients which strengthen bones.

Have you been experiencing better health from taking Vitamin D?  Please share your reply in the box below.

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“What would you do if you weren’t afraid?” my friend Jana asked me over a year ago.  (She actually recorded a song with that same title and performs many other wonderful motivational songs). I answered, “I’d have fun in Italy and teach a women’s retreat there, but…. how would I do that?” When I asked one of my client’s the same question, he said, “I’d take more risks in my business, but… I might fail.”

Listen to the words that follow your ‘but’.  They reveal your doubts and limiting beliefs. This is the pivotal point from which you take courage to leap, or at least walk through the flame of fear.

Over the years, I’ve asked people about their courage.   They seemed so confident and together.  Usually they say that they’re afraid but they just make themselves take the baby steps needed to do the task.

That’s why I’m inspired by what Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear…”

I started skiing when I was 43 years old and I’ve never really lost the fear of speed or of getting hurt.  I just do it to be social and to hang out with my  friends, kids and husband. When I told my husband I was too afraid to really enjoy it, he said ‘that fear is part of the excitement and fun.’ Being afraid is not my idea of fun, but I kind of know what he means. Courage can be fragile. It does not mean being fearless.

I’m more like a reluctant adventurer in life. I ease out of my comfort zone, but contract for longer times than I expand, like a turtle who tucks her head neatly inside her shell, then sticks her neck out and moves out of the water, slowly crawling through the sand, knowing that her destiny is to lay eggs every 30 days, only to return to the sea for a month of frolicking in the warm Costa Rican waters.

I think change requires courage, maybe fragile courage. Otherwise,  how could we leave our security to try something different?  Like the turtle, we don’t know exactly how or if our actions will be rewarded.

The turtle doesn’t know if the eggs she lays will be taken by the locals for their dinner, or by animals on the beach, but she sees the moon beams and knows that change is calling out like a wounded friend who needs her. The strings of change pull our hearts and we swim, walk, drag our limp legs, and claw our way toward hope, waiting, wanting more and carrying the fear on our hardened shells that cover our  tender hearts.

When we conjure up the notion of courage,  the slow moving turtle may not be the power animal that comes to mind, but I think she’s very brave to stick her neck out and move.

What would you do this year if YOU weren’t afraid? Can you do something every week that you’re scared to do?

May your new year be filled with all possibilities as you walk through your fears!

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