1.  Stay with your exercise routine: Or at least do not quit altogether. If you usually exercise four times a week, at the very least, exercise twice a week during the holidays. This will actually give you more energy to accomplish all the extra work, like buying and wrapping presents, decorating, giving and attending holiday parties, and probably cooking more.

I really did not have time to go to my yoga class, but after I went, I was so much more at peace in body and mind, so all the additional items on my to do list were more enjoyable. When your heart is pumping, you deliver more nutrients and oxygen to your brain! The result will be a stress-free holiday.

2. Take your vitamin D: As many of you probably know, I am a strong advocate of Vitamin D and have written four blog posts about it. As winter is upon us, we do not have 40% of our skin exposed to sunshine 20 minutes every day. Vitamin D supports a healthy immune system and uplifted mood. Vitamin D affects 200 genes, helps diabetes, heart, prevents some cancers, and helps improve your moods.

3. Give to others: To help keep everyting in perspective, reach out and help those less fortunate than yourself.  Some possible choices are to give a gift that keeps on giving to Kiva. You are actually investing in a micro loan of $25 that will “help someone to fish for a lifetime,” instead of just “giving them a fish for a day.”  Once they pay the loan back, it can be borrowed by another entrepreneur.

Another possibility for giving back is to donate to the rebuilding of Monterosso and Vernazza, Italy,  two of the beautiful Cinque Terre villages where I teach my Italy Retreats each September.  Any, and I do mean, any small amount will be appreciated.  100% of your donations will go directly to rebuilding these two towns that were devastated by mudslides and floods. Travel expert, Rick Steves, said that Vernazza had the most idyllic piazza(town square) in Europe. I agree.  However, all that is changed.  The people of Vernazza were forced to evacuate on October 25.

I am feeling quite overwhelmed with my “to do” list this season because I leave in three days, to visit extended family 12 hours away. So, the last thing I wanted to add was a community service project. Not now, some other time, yes.  But, some friends and I decided to volunteer at a local organization that provides clothing and toys for 200 families. In the fulfillment of that, the items on my “to do list” somehow became more enjoyable and gratifying. This leads me to my fourth step for having happy holidays.

4. Practice the art of gratitude. If you’ve read some of my other articles, you know I encourage you to have a journal by your bed, so that each day you can jot down what you are grateful for. Writing it down is more powerful than thinking it, but if you can only stop and reflect on what you’re grateful for, then go for it.

5. Eat healthy foods. I would include this in any list for feeling happier. Last weekend, I actually went to four holiday parties. I only ate dessert at one of them, even though I love sweets. Of course, I’m eating holiday sweets, but much smaller amounts than usual. Try eating more fruit instead. The extra desserts can weaken your immune system, add pounds to your belly, and bring you down. I managed to bake only one batch of cookies. Even though they are the thin and delicious Florentine Lace, I have resisted eating many of them.

I hope this helps! May your holiday season bring you laughter, warmth, and peace in your heart.  If it does not come to you, bring it to another.

Wishing you an enriched life!

What do you do to create Happy Holidays?

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The Red Queen from Alice in Wonderland

‘There’s no use trying,’ Alice said.  ’One can’t believe impossible things.’

“‘I daresay you haven’t had much practice,’ said the Queen.  ’When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day.  Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.’

What ‘impossible’ things do you want to believe? I don’t know the scientific terms for this, but our minds DO get stretched with practice.  Open-minded means you’ve broken open the narrow thinking of negativity and fear.

I’ve been working with beliefs for over 20 years now.  During one of Oprah’s Life Lessons shows,  she emphasized one of the themes I live by,  ”You Become What You Believe”. Knowing this one pearl of wisdom will be helpful to people feeling blocked. Glad she’s getting it out there in a bigger way.

The time is NOW. During this season of renewal, let’s join hands and practice believing what we used to think was “impossible”.

What are you waiting for?

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“When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I wrote down “happy.” They told me that I didn’t understand the assignment and I told them that they didn’t understand life.”
–John Lennon

I love this quote, and after  I posted it on Facebook recently, one friend commented about being graded poorly in first grade because he didn’t color in the picture of a chicken. My friend figured that the teacher had missed the white crayon covering the chicken. He actually showed it to her and she gave him a better grade. He did understand the assignment!

Sometimes, we go through life wondering if we have missed the assignment for OUR lives. I hear it all the time during my workshops and coaching sessions.  I am always amazed, though, at how we emerge from divorce, loss, or betrayal with wisdom and hope for the future.  Even a small dose of optimism immunizes us from fear.  Optimism is like a tincture for courage.

The world is quite a mess these days. How do we stay optimistic about the future when we are blasted with news of doom and gloom from all sectors of the globe?  What I have noticed is that human beings, since the beginning of time, have moved beyond their pain to reach new heights, in spite of the seeming evidence at hand.

As I prepare to leave for Italy to lead my Third Annual Italy Retreat for Women to Live La Dolce Vita, I am  thinking about optimism because recently I read an eye-opening article about optimism in Time Magazine.

The premise of the article is that we are, by nature, optimists.  Surprised at first, I immediately realized from my life’s work with individuals that this is so true. The article proves that, “The scientific evidence points to the conclusion that optimism may be hardwired by evolution into the human brain.” The researchers believe that our brains are not just imprinted by the past, but are being shaped for the future.

Without optimism, my Italian born grandparents, and millions of other immigrants, would never have left behind their families behind to sail to America, without knowing what lay ahead.

If you’d like a deeper understanding of the workings of
our brains, check out the article in Time Magazine.  In the meantime, know that our brains are part of our support team in life. Let’s use it, and continue to believe that life is a precious gift that we will mold into something fantastic, in spite of all odds.

Let’s give ourselves the gift of self-discovery and journey together toward optimism beyond our wildest imagination.
Years ago, I optimistically decided to teach my  Option Method Workshops and travel with the course participants in Italy.  And now, I am on my ay for the 3rd Annual Italy Retreat for women.

I will write my next post from Italy. Hope you can join me on my Italy Retreat to LIVE LA DOLCE VITA next year!

What has the gift of optimism brought into your life? Would love to hear from you.

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The shadows, I call limiting beliefs, your ego, or stress. They act like they are friends who resent that you are asking them to leave.

They exist to help you stay safe in your cocoon life, away from the saber tooth tigers, but I’d say those belief guys and girls just want to be in control of you, similar to the movie, The Adjustment Bureau. It was a simple movie but I thought fascinating that some bureau controlled humanity, and made adjustments to people’s minds, so they could see things more according to the BIG PLAN from the BIG GUY. Not god but the main agent, whoever that was. I say it was a metaphor for the ego, or the old belief.

‘The Adjustment Bureau’ Trailer

According to the Adjustment Bureau, if anyone veered off plan, they had to be ‘adjusted’.  They said that humans could not have choices because humanity has screwed up so much when they had free will, such as creating World War I  and WWII, that we couldn’t be trusted.

What the movie allows us to see is the importance of choosing our lives. I say, “Let the shadows wail their tonsils out!” We have been strangled by their scrawny, dirty hands for a long time.

I invite myself, and anyone who will listen, to gently yet firmly take each finger from around your neck, and pry them away. You can breathe so much better. Your laughter takes on a new lilt. Why wouldn’t it, free of  unwelcomed strangled hands. Find your OWN voice.

We can be our own Adjustment Bureau. The shadow will stop wailing, the crying will stop, the sobbing turning to silent stares.

We may just have to write a new diary of our lives, a different story line with fresh characters, those that we interviewed and chose to be on our life’s pages. They have served their time, and now death to the shadow friends! Be off with thee,arrivederci, ciao, get lost, take a hike, a presto, good riddance!

Ask yourself: “How would my life be different if I did not listen to the shadows?” ” Would I find MY voice?”

Be your own adjustment bureau.  You choose. You find YOUR Truth.

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Cinque Terre Women Travel

Check out my guest post entitled Five Reasons Why Women Need to Go on a Retreat on Smart Women Travelers blog.

As many of my readers know, I am passionate about Italy and all things Italian, especially since last fall when I received dual citizenship with Italy.

The deadline is fast approaching to register for my third annual transformational workshop in Italy which includes 2 days of creating the life you love, plus 5 days of traveling along the Italian Riviera.

You owe it to yourself  to at least find out more about my Italy Retreat for Women to live la dolce vita (the sweet life), September 10-18, 2011. Of course, it’s all taught in English.

“Love and understand the Italians, for the people are more marvelous than the land.” ~~~ E.M Forster

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You must watch this video of the baby rocking out to Dog Days are Over by Florence and The Machine. When the music stops, he cries.

Playing for Change, Song Around The World from Nepal to Africa, India, Ireland and more. Watch and enjoy music from the award winning 2009 documentary, “Playing For Change. You can join the movement to inspire change through music around the world.

What music makes you happy? Let us know in your comments.

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My good friend, #1 New York Times best-selling author Marci Shimoff, has written a new book, Love for No Reason: 7 Steps to Creating a Life of Unconditional Love.  In it, you will learn the best kept secret about love.

I’ve personally known Marci for over 30 years, and she has always been a seeker of happiness and love. She has participated in hundreds of personal development programs, giving her a wealth of knowledge to share and uplift humanity.

Even though Marci has authored  seven other New York Times best selling books, more importantly, Marci gave me LOVE.

How?  She introduced me to my wonderful husband, whom I have now been married to for 29 years. I usually tell her, that as far as I’m concerned,  that was her greatest success!

I’ve read most of the book, and it is sprinkled with scientific research along with heaping dollops of  ancient wisdom, powerful exercises and  beautiful stories that give us a delicious recipe for creating unconditional love in our lives.

I’m heartily recommending this breakthrough book to everyone, giving it two very enthusiastic thumbs up! Get it TODAY, and you’ll also receive the exclusive Love For No Reason GIft Package as a BONUS.

The bonus includes a powerful recording to remove your blocks to love, audio interviews with famous Love Luminaries, a 5-minute daily love practice, practical ebooks, and much more!

Be sure to look on page 237 for an exercise from ‘yours truly’ that will help you dissolve limiting beliefs and open your heart.

I love the book because it fulfills my life-long dream that each and every one of us, will love ourselves and acknowledge our true worth. Over the years, I have seen so many people struggle with feelings of unworthiness. I think this book will hold your hand and sooth your soul.

As Marci says, “Whatever your experiences of love have been in the past, you can now begin to love at a much higher level than ever before.”

Happy New Year! Buon Anno! May it be filled with love.  What is your best kept secret about love?

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Since my last newsletter, I have spent a wonderful month in Italy. I spent the first week teaching my annual transformational Italy Retreat for women to live la dolce vita (the sweet life) to a wonderful group of ladies! We laughed, we hiked, we ate and we created memories that will last a lifetime.

I’m now planning the September 10-18, 2011 Retreat on the Italian Riviera. You can read Three Things I Learned on My Italy Retreat” on my Italy Retreat Blog.

In this post, I’m including my thoughts from my ezine,

Are You In A War Zone?
Recently, I watched a 2007 documentary called WarDance with a friend who is from South Africa. The award-winning film was filled with vivid accounts of the kids from the Acholi tribe affected by the two-decade rebel war in northern Uganda.

I was struck with the words of wisdom from the children, which was part of their grace. In addition to the inspirational quote of the month from Hafiz, I’m including quotes from the children.

Their gift to me was a clearer insight into seeing that so many of us create war zones in our own minds and hearts.

I am not trivializing the horrors of war that these kids live through. I cannot even write the details of the atrocities they have endured, but I was still struck by the idea that those who live in peace, often have the habits of fighting wars within their own minds and hearts.

Three lessons I learned from WarDance, which as Hafiz has stated, can help all of us “come into this exquisite world to experience ever and ever more deeply our divine courage, freedom and light!”

1.) Remember to sing, dance and laugh. “Music is our tradition. Even war cannot take it from us.”  Singing and dancing is just part of African life, on buses, in the homes and on the street.  Even in the face of devastation and loss of parents and stable home life, they danced and sang. In the midst of hopelessness arrives  two music and dance teachers who dared to journey across the dangerous remote war zone to reach Patonga elementary school.

Their sole purpose was to help the kids prepare to compete against over 5000 students from all of Uganda in the National Music/Dance Competition over 200 miles away in Kampala, Uganda.

2.) Believe in ourselves.  “In my heart, I am more than a child of war.  I am the future of our tribe.”  We all belong to the tribe of the human race. “We’ve lost our sisters, mothers, fathers, but our story does not end here.”

I was in awe of their divine courage, freedom and strength of the human spirit– the power of a made up mind. One of the teachers actually had the kids practice pronouncing and repeating the word,“champion” in English.  Then during the intense competition, she said one word: “mood”, “mood”, meaning ‘check your attitudes, kids!’

Besides all the obvious handicaps they had to overcome, many of the other performers at first called the Patonga Primary School kids rebels and murderers.  The kids were merely victims of their circumstances but misunderstood and looked down upon.

3.) Practice and don’t give up. One child said, “I am excited to see what peace looks like.”  “Even if we live in a war zone, we can do great things.” “We are still able to be the best.”

The power of a made up mind and believing they had something to offer.  The WarDance that they performed will be etched into my heart forever–like the phoenix rising out of the ashes of the war zone.
During this season of transformation and holy days, may your war zones be shifted into grace zones.  May you whisper, “champion” to yourself and offer your best to the awaiting world.

Have you been persistent and met with success?

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Question Your Limiting Beliefs

Limiting Belief Exercise:

Dissolving Limiting Beliefs Exercise using The Option Method.  The following questions are part of the series of questions used in The Option Method.

Step 1: Write down a negative judgment, or limiting belief that you know keeps you stuck or makes you unhappy. A belief is a perception of reality or a conclusion that you’ve come to based on past conditioning. Some examples are “I’m not good enough.” “I can’t do it.”
Write the following questions on paper. After you ask the question, notice your first thoughts, body sensations, images, then write your responses without editing.

Step 2: Ask the first question: Do you believe that? If you believe it sometimes, then it is still affecting every decision you make in your life.

Step 3: Why do you believe that? You have some reasons or proof that you’ve used in the past to build your case, trying to prove the belief to be factual. Explore it here.

Step 4: Do you know if it’s true? (Why might you believe something that you don’t know is true?)

Step 5: What might concern you if that belief were gone? This is a crucial question to answer. In other words, “what might happen that you would not like?” There is a concern about the belief being eliminated, otherwise it would not be there. It’s serving you in some way. Let this question sink into your heart and it will awaken you.

Simply questioning your limiting beliefs—and the reasons you may have been holding on to them—allows those limiting beliefs to start dissolving automatically. When you realize the limiting belief is no longer true, you feel freer, happier and more open to love.
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This is an exploration of limiting beliefs, not an exercise to choose a better belief. If another limiting belief is uncovered during this process, then begin with Step 1 again and question a new belief.  Just explore the limiting ones, and our perceptions will change. When our perceptions change, new possibilities open like fresh air and sunshine.

Ask these questions for any limiting belief that limits you or hurts you in some way.

The dissolution of limiting beliefs works because once you realize that the belief is no longer true, it starts to dissolve, along with the conflicting feelings attached to the belief.

In addition to unraveling limiting beliefs that we know we have, there are also unconscious limiting beliefs that can be uncovered with other Option Method questions. For more information, visit http://www.ChangeLimitingBeliefs.com.

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I know Italy is not perfect, but I think George Clooney summed it up perfectly. In this article he simply said that moving to Italy has changed his life. Working hard in Hollywood, he didn’t care how his personal life was going.

When he purchased a villa in Laglio on Lake Como in northern Italy, he thought he’d be there a couple weeks a year.  He soon realized how beautiful life was in Italy and it helped calm him.

I think the result of spending a week on my retreat in Italy does just that. The course participants will all agree that it ‘calmed their lives.’

Usually, the hiking trails I choose in the Cinque Terre are the tame ones. By taking a steep climb up the paths or steps you are instantly rewarded with jaw dropping beautiful scenery.

On the day we visited Riomaggiore, the southern most village of the Cinque Terre, the young women at the Tourist Information Center suggested we walk through the botanical gardens because it was a 25 minute walk and we’d end up back at the center of town, where we’d take a gelato break, and then do another 20 minutes walk on the famous Via Dell’Amore (path of love) to arrive for dinner in Manarola to watch the sunset over the Mediterranean. (Photo of the seven of us at Ristorante Marina Piccola.)

However, I forgot that when someone says something, especially in a different culture, it might have a completely different meaning to me.   I love gardens and I had waited since last year to visit this botanical garden, but this was no ‘walk in the garden’.  I did notice some signs describing cacti and trees by their Latin names on the concrete walking path.

However, none of us knew how difficult the trail was going to become, and then we discovered why no one else was walking it. It turned into a rocky uneven narrow trail, many times on the edge of a sheer mountainside, lots of stairs, and it was raining for part of the hike. There was a railing but it jutted out at a 30-degree angle sometimes or it was so loose you didn’t feel safe holding onto it.

One of the women in our retreat group was afraid of heights and I myself, felt a bit woozy if looked down all of the time at the sea below. Sometimes, we could see through the path to the sea below. In order to make it to the end, she had to walk sideways, face the mountainside, her back to the sea, and manage her panic.

It was breathtaking but it felt more like taking our breath away. *The top photo is taken from the height of the rocky path as we began our ascent to the center of the town toward the beach, and the last photo is near the end, so it’s much closer to sea level!

My courageous student later said that no one in her family would ever believe her when she tells them what she did.  It was an epiphany for her to face her fears and her belief that she could never do this. That mountain is her metaphor for life now and her life will never be the same. For the rest of the workshop her victory was our symbol for change.

I did not plan this hike to force the course participants to face her fears.  I thought it was a walk in the garden to add to our experience to live la dolce vita near the Mediterranean.  My idea of facing fears is usually done in the Option Method Dialogue work that we do in the meeting room during the retreat– it’s gentle and you’re comfortably sitting in a chair!  But, sometimes life gets organized for us, and we enjoy the ride.

Here’s to calming our lives and living la dolce vita (the sweet life) wherever we are!

Have you hiked the Cinque Terre trails? What is your favorite one? Want to join me next year in Italy for my Italy Retreat for women to live la dolce vita?

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