Be Healthy Inside Out

New Chapter of My Life

2023-04-04T12:37:00.004-07:00

Check out my social media accounts:

Facebook (Please Follow)

Youtube (Please LIKE and SUBSCRIBE)

Our Journey Two-Gether

2017-02-08T08:44:00.000-08:00

Our Journey Two-Gether
Updated last January 30, 2017 (Friday)

We officially have November 25, 2010 as mark of our commitment to love each other. When we met, we were both "broken". I came from a loss of my husband due to colon cancer and you have lots of unnecessary burdens that you kept on carrying with you. We're not perfect. There are times that we were hurting each other unintentionally.

I seriously fell in love with you because of your BIG HEART to help others through your "martial arts". And you were struck with my advocacy of "health is wealth". When we talk about our passion that's when all our differences were eradicated. No amount of fights and quarrels can break us apart when we talk about our "passion".

But things don't go smoothly between us all the time. And there was a time when we both gave up. I still remember telling you about God to take control of your life as I can't handle things between us anymore. I told you that I can't hate you enough no matter how painful your LOVE is because I believe in YOU.

When we parted ways, I cried to God so hard and prayed:

"Lord, please come between us. I love him so much and I believe he is a GREAT MAN. I know someday he will be GREAT because he has a BIG HEART to help people. Please TRANSFORM his HEART into your likeness. I believe that every great man is a WOMAN. Lord, let me be the WOMAN behind this great MAN. Lord, let him be the man to be exactly as you want him to be."

As I prayed these words, I entrusted everything unto the Lord. I stopped demanding things about our relationship and just kept on pushing you to move forward to pursue your passion for Guru Mike 101 Kenka System Club. You appointed me as the president of GM 101 which really didn't give me any choice. I was happy to see you slowly growing and becoming a GREAT MAN of Guru Mike 101 Kenka System. I am so proud of you that you were able to have black belters already. You dreamed of producing one thousand black belters before you die. Though you were not able to meet your target, but you were able to pass your FIRE to your faithful disciples namely: Jerry, John Paul, and Nikki. Rest assured that your one thousand black belters will be accomplished soon.

We are best buddies in so many things. We both love to watch movies, laugh out loud, brain storming about life, sharing inspirational stories, eat good and healthy foods, and many more. We function well as partners with advocacy of health is wealth. I pushed you on the spiritual side and you pushed me to be reminded of being a good example of our advocacy. You pushed me so hard to train and workout for my health.

We have different religious beliefs but we never lose the RESPECT and LOVE for each other. I never forced you to join me and you never forced me either. And so, when you told me that you were being baptized on March 27, 2016, I was really shocked. I asked which church and the name of your pastor. You said it's Cornerstone Baptist Church with Pastor Roland. To my surprise, this pastor is the same pastor who prayed over my sick husband before. I uttered a prayer unto the Lord, thanking Him how GREAT God is. Thanking God in leading YOU to His flock in His own TIME and in His own WAY.

From then on, I knew that YOU are in good hands already. The changes in your LIFE is becoming significant and obvious to anyone you meet. I myself have seen you GROWN in the LORD. You even told me that now you already understand why I was giving my tithes for the church. And I teased you that you might become a pastor and you said, "Malay mo." That moment you gave me a 100% KILIG.

The last time we saw each other was when we celebrated our last 74th monthsary together. I can vividly remember how you surprised me and called me on the phone at around 9:30pm of Jan 25, 2017, and said, "Mahal, buksan mo ung gate. Anong ulam mo dyan? Happy monthsary. Kala mo hindi na ako pupunta noh." I was teary-eyed when I saw you. You hugged me tightly and kissed me the usual way. And the usual pang-aasar of yours followed our sweet conversation. But that was you. You were never sweet with words. But you were the best to make me KILIG and for showing your LOVE in action.

That night was very memorable as we were all happy: You, Marsie and I. You never had an argument with Marsie and you had a good chit-chat with her. Though I was very busy with my paperworks, I would always make TIME for you whenever you're around. I always cherish every moment when we are together. We were able to plan a lot of things for Guru Mike 101 Kenka System. You even asked me to draw the gym/recreation area/educational area/healthy cafeteria/hobby computer lab/meditation area/book room/multi purpose halls - building that you are dreaming of. It's all written in my notebook. Though it was not precise, but somehow it shows all the interest of your loved ones and for all the people you cared for.

The cafeteria is for JM. The hobby computer room for Gelo and Amir. The educational area is for all your students who needs academic assistance where I can be of help. The book room is for everyone where Marsie can help to encourage people to read and speak English. The gym is for GM 101 where you can train more black belters. The meditation area is for everyone's access where anyone can come and pray whatever religion they may have. The recreation area is for everyone who is passionate about any sports where you can train them for sports conditioning and strength training.

If I would recall 3 years ago, we had this kind of plan before but you were full of "if" and "buts". But that night, you were full of POSITIVISM.

I want to THANK you from the bottom of my HEART that you were the one who gave me the inspiration to start TLC Tutorial Center. You encouraged me to do this as you will channel your students to TLC. You started by teaching my students for FREE and then you came up with the idea that Cris Joy or anyone from the group can help me as assistant tutors. In that way, I can help them earn money for their schooling, etc. That was indeed a BRILLIANT idea that we have discussed the night of our 74th monthsary.

The following day was just like another ordinary day. The usual day that you need to go back home. And you mentioned that you need to attend the Thursday Bible Study. Then you reminded me to attend church, as I never attend church often anymore than you do. I was really overwhelmed and felt God's deep conviction in me to go back to church.

You kissed me the "warmest" and "hugged" me so tight. You were bragging about your body as it was getting better. And I confirmed that you are indeed so "gwapo". I even told you, "You are gorgeously hot today". I kissed your macho arms and your armpit. You giggled and hated me doing the armpit kiss. I had no idea that it would be our last:
- workout together
- sweet-little-nothing-arguments
- asaran blues
- movie marathon
- dinner
- breakfast
- happy moments
- hug
- kiss
- goodbye
- I love you
- SMS
- cry

I LOVE YOU MAHAL. I AM RECALLING OUR HAPPY MOMENTS TOGETHER BECAUSE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU AND FEEL HONORED TO BE PART OF YOUR LIFE.

You life quote is "Life is 10% and how you react to it is 90%. You indeed spent the remaining 10% of your life to heed God's Calling for you. You are a finisher of your RACE. Your GOOD example is worthy to be followed.

Forgetting what lies behind
Setting our hearts on the prize
Always keeping our eyes on our lord Jesus
We're running the race to win
All the way to the end
Laying down every sin
That would seek to hinder us

And we'll be faithful to our calling
For you are able to keep us from falling
For in your promise
We will trust
We'll be faithful to finish the work you began in us

MikiSu's Journey

2017-02-02T20:24:00.000-08:00

My Journey with MikiSu

I can count in my fingers our photos just the two of us. Some were lost and these are the only ones I saved and cherished. Thank you for sharing your BIG HEART to me.

We started as best workout buddies. Sharing our common advocate of "Health is Wealth" that keeps us stronger everyday. Our relationship was not ideal and not the perfect one. We've battled countless storms already.

Losing you is very painful as we've been through tough times that even cause us to tear apart. We've hurt each other so often emotionally. But the LOVE that we have for each other survived.

We often argued about our relationship as I knew you still have excess baggage to settle. I'm deeply hurt and asked God to take over.

I remember the times when I was telling you that I can't hold on anymore but you can't let me go. There are times too that you can't stand my demands anymore and you already gave up on me.

But every time we parted ways, we're being brought back together again because of our "FRIENDSHIP", our love for our advocacy, and our love for Guru Mike 101 Kenka System Club.

We function well as partners when we talk about our advocacy. You started and founded GM 101, that's why I fell in LOVE with you. I saw your BIG HEART to help people especially the youth. You wanted so much to lead more kids to your "ART" to keep them away from vices. That's where we pick up the pieces together. Your ART and my advocate of HEALTH is WEALTH keeps on giving us more chances to fix our differences

There are times that we were being defeated by our "SELFISHNESS". That was really the toughest. I was full of anger and so mad and I said, "If you keep on hurting me inside, magsusumbong ako sa Diyos, plead heaven's door to pin you down on bended knees before God. I will not stop praying for you until you see God. I will not stop knocking heaven's door until you're "knock-out" before God. I will not stop crying in prayers until you surrender your LIFE to the Lord." When you heard those words from me, I can still remember that you were furiously mad at me. That moment, I felt God's assurance that he will handle things for us.

Things are getting lighter again between us. And every time I give you your most requested massage to comfort you when you were suffering from asthma attacks, I was praying for you from head to toe. I entrusted everything in God's care. I let GO of my selfishness, insecurities and let GOD take over.

2013 and 2014 was a roller coaster ride. I can't imagine how we can fix our differences. Every time we tried to fix it on our own, we FAILED. I even remember telling you to stop focusing fixing the problem, but focus on fixing ourselves before God. I asked you to attend church wherever you want to go. But you said, "Hindi ako nagsisiimba. Ipokrito ang mga taong nagsisimba." I tried bringing you to born-again churches, and you're patient enough to join me. However, you said, "Sarado Katoliko kami. Hindi ako magpapaconvert." I have high respect on you so I assured you that I am not forcing you to do so.

From then on, I have unexplainable peace inside. We spent 2015 until your very last breath together planning for GM 101, inspired to do more charitable works for kids,

Just last year as we were planning for the summer camp 2016, you told me that you have a surprise for me. And you said, "Nagpa-baptize ako ngayon". Tears rolled down as I heard it. It was the sweetest thing I've heard from you. Sweeter than your "I love you's". March 27, 2016 was the mark of your sincere walk with the Lord.

Walking with God is not easy. The more you walk with God, the more temptations may come your way. There are battles along the way that you failed. But you stood up fighting until your very last days here on earth.

Mahal, thank you so much for sharing your BIG HEART and for showing your LOVE for me. I feel honored to be part of your life because you are a GREAT man of GM 101 and a GREAT man of God. Natalo ka man sa maraming laban pero nagwagi ka pa rin sa huli. You fought a good fight of faith and you are now crowned with:

a. The Imperishable Crown - you won this reward as you inherit God's kingdom in Heaven (in inheritance incorruptible and undefiled that does not fade away.

b. The Crown of Rejoicing - God will wipe away every tear . . . there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away” (Revelation 21:4).

c. The Crown of Righteousness - it is obtained and possessed in a righteous way, and not by force and deceit as earthly crowns sometimes are, it is an everlasting crown, promised to all who love the Lord, just like you.

d. The Crown of Glory - this crown awarded as you long for or love God's appearing. Your sufferings before are not worthy to be compared with the glory which has been revealed by the Lord as you are now with Him in paradise.

e. The Crown of Life - This crown is for you as you endure all the sufferings, bravely confront persecution for Jesus, even to the point of death.

Maraming laban na natalo ka, ngunit sa bandang huli ay nasumpungan mo si Lord upang mapagwagian mo ang lahat with all these crowns.

Our last day together reminded me to keep on focusing my eyes to the Lord and to continue what He has started in you.

=============================
Forgetting what lies behind
Setting our hearts on the prize
Always keeping our eyes on our lord Jesus
We're running the race to win
All the way to the end
Laying down every sin
That would seek to hinder us

And we'll be faithful to our calling
For you are able to keep us from falling
For in your promise
We will trust
We'll be faithful to finish the work you began in us
===========================

All GLORY be unto GOD as he orchestrated everything in his own TIME and in His own WAYS.

"Thank you Lord for being with us. Bless GM 101 and be the one to rule over us."
Amen

2016-09-06T14:29:00.000-07:00

After the "Trojan Horse", kailangan naman ni Charis bukas ng tula na mayrong 4 na saknong, 12 sukat, at may tugma sa bawat taludtod.
Ito ang kinalabasan after an hour of finalizing the last 2 stanzas:

Asal ng Pinoy
Ni: Susivic P. Tañada (Sept 1, 20016)

Lahat ng Pilipino’y may karapatan.
Maunlad na bansa’y ating kailangan.
Itigil ang korapsyon, ‘yan ang solusyon.
Dapat tayo’y magka-isa t’wing eleksyon.

Ating kinabukasan sa hinaharap,
Ito ang sagot sa pagiging mahirap.
Hangad ng lahat ay maayos na buhay,
Upang magkaroon ng magandang bahay.

Sundin ang tagubilin at mga aral.
Itaas mo ang iyong puri at dangal.
Maging marangal, masipag, at maagap.
Maging totoo at hindi mapagpanggap.

Lahat ng ito’y biyaya ng Maykapal.
Kasinupan natin ay dapat umiral.
Biyayang tamo’y iyo ring ibahagi,
Upang sa gayo’y pagpalain ka lagi.

From my facebook post: https://www.facebook.com/susivic/posts/10208515361456528

SAVING RANDOM PICS FROM FACEBOOK

2016-07-07T09:11:00.000-07:00

I Found It! A Poem I Made for My Daughter for More Than a Decade Ago

2016-07-05T11:02:00.000-07:00

I published this poem from the forum that I joined in 2004. That forum is no longer active and I don't know how can I retrieve it. And then I remember that I took a screenshot of the poem and posted it in Facebook on June 19, 2011. I can't remember where I was when I wrote this. I searched for it and it took me for less than a minute to find it. I'm very happy that I found it. I immediately posted this poem here in this blog. The poem goes like this:

S - un will rise, sun will set
T - urn back and see what you may get
E - ven though life is sometimes unfair
P - eople anyway, we should really bear
H - and them your ears, listen to their cries
A - nd you will soon discover that they live in lies
N - now tell me who your friends are
I - 'll tell you who you really are
E - dn this deceitfulness, and start a new HOPE

M - ake everyday an opportunity to widen your horizon
A - and take a good glimpse of the beaut of Luzon
R - est assured you'll reach many places
S - tart meeting people and new faces
I - wish you'll be tough and firm with your faith
E - xtend your heart for others, for it is your only wealth

Finally, I'm Back to Writing Poems Again

2016-07-05T10:27:00.001-07:00

I started teaching Chinese students residing in China via Skype and QQ thru ABC360 in March 2016. I am teaching English classes online to help Chinese students with their grammar, pronunciation, intonation, and vocabulary. I love teaching them and I have gained loyal students.

There was a time that I shared to one of my students about this blog. Unfortunately, he can't view this link because it's prohibited in China for reasons that I don't know. His name is Murphy (not his real name). His real name is in Chinese characters which I can't read nor pronounce. He challenged me to make an acronym poem for him. I was able to finish it in 15 minutes but I delivered it to him after 3 days. The poem goes like this:

M - ust I forget the day I met you?
U - nique way that is, class via Skype and that is true.
R- ead, Speak and Think - are the things I taught you
P - honics and Pronunciation that challenges you each day
H - ard as you may say, but you will learn them anyway.
Y - ou are indeed a victor, who will rise on top one day.

by: Mikisu June 17, 2016 9:43pm

He was delighted as he read the poem. He was inspired too to make one for his wife. His wife's English name is Carol. He promised to share with me the poem he will be dedicating for his wife Carol. That was really sweet.

Another loyal student of mine is Vera. She is an amazing student as she improved a lot from when she first attended my class in May. I also shared this blog to her when her topic lesson was about "literature". She had a hard time pronouncing the word "poem" and didn't understand it as well. To explain what is poem, I showed the "Jack and Jill" poem and told her that I also made a poem for Murphy. She also wanted to have one as well. So, here's the poem I just made for her:

V - era is the name that I met through ABC360
E - every single class, she's learning English in immensity
R - reading, pronunciation, grammar - intonation and vocabulary, too
A - re the things she learned so hard - more practice she needs to do.

by: Mikisu July 6, 2016 12:46am

It's nice to be writing back again after a decade or so. I hope I could maintain the momentum. OSU!

Life.Begins at 40

2015-06-15T00:02:00.002-07:00

There are many wonderful things the Lord has made...
Still in progresa....
Will post details.soon....

2012-04-10T18:14:00.001-07:00

A Lenten Prayer for Our Beloved Guru-Sensei Mike (April 5, 2012):

We pray Thee oh God to bless his BIG HEART to reach as many people to share how you have burdened him to share his advocate HEALTH IS WEALTH through the skills and talent you have bestowed upon him. The talent to share his ART. We pray Thee Almighty Father to HEAL him INSIDE OUT. Heal him from the scars of his past, the deep wounds of his childhood and the misfortunes he has carried on his shoulders. Heal him PHYSICALLY and make him a brand new creature with a brand new STRENGTH to carry through your BIG PLANS for him. And dear LORD GOD, bless whatever he thinks, prosper whatever his hands will do, protect and guard him with your precious BLOOD wherever he goes. All these we pray in JESUS' MIGHTY name we pray, AMEN!

My One and Only

2011-07-24T07:24:00.000-07:00

My one and only Incomparable and irresistible – that’s what you are to me
Charming and conversationalist – I can’t resist
How I wish to stay with you forever
And I wish to take care of you when you needed most
Even though our situation is complicated
Love will always mend our differences
Honesty matters most to me I can proudly say that you complete me
Climate may change but never my love for you
Even when I’m alone, I would think of you
Thoughts about your dreams, our mission
And our CLUB makes me feel happy
Days can’t pass by without knowing if you’re okay
Energetic as you are
Leaving no traces that you are bothered inside
Always and forever I will love you
Come what may your love for me is sweet
Romantic moments are cherished
Unforgettable moments are kept in our hearts
Zeal our ardent love to last a lifetime

Our Wedding Rings

2010-10-21T20:43:00.000-07:00

October 19, 2001 - Marlon and I tied the knots together and promised to stay TWO-gether in sickness and in health, for rich or for poor, till death do us part...

Last October 19, 2010 was the 1st wedding anniversary to commemorate without Dadi Marlon. It's been quite a while that I no longer wear our wedding ring. Until last Oct. 19, 2010 I thought of wearing it again as I wanted to celebrate that myself in my own little way. I was wearing my wedding ring on my right hand and Marlon's wedding ring on my left hand. I have a shift that night. As usual I came to work earlier. I still have 2 hours to wait for my shift so I went to the sleeping quarters to take a nap. I took off the "rings" from my hands because I have to dub myself some lotion onto my arms and legs to soothe myself and give me warmth as it was too cold in the sleeping quarters.

When I woke up I rushed to the Production Floor and race with the other agents for a station. Thank God I found one. While I was on a call, I noticed something on my hands. Oh, our wedding RINGS! Suddenly, I felt bad about ME being so forgetful to wear it back after putting on some lotion onto my arms and legs. Partly, my focus on a call was divided with a thought that I should go back at the sleeping quarters on my first break.

Waiting for my first break was all in my mind and it seems 10 years of waiting. Finally, 1st break has come and off I went to the sleeping quarters as fast as I can and I only have 15 minutes to do the searching. I've already used up my 5 minutes from logging off to walk-and-run up to the Sleeping Quarters. Checking on Bed#3 there was someone sleeping so I reported to the Security Guard in-charged that I left our wedding "rings" on Bed #3. Another 5 minutes has lapsed so I only have last 5 minutes to go back at the Production Area to make calls again and wait for my EOS (end of shift).

I was just on time. I was happy because Joyce was sitting right next to me. I told her about our "wedding rings" and she suggested that I should really go back for it. We had a nice chit chat.

Last month I made some preparations for this occasion. I made a movie file to commemorate our togetherness. A team mate of mine named Osh helped me in scanning some of the pics. I even showed the rough draft of that movie file to Mavic and Joyce through my cellphone as I love the song "Keep Holding On" by Avril Lavigne. But while I was trying to retrieve the movie file, i can't find it. That's weird because I just watched it over and over a week ago with Marsie. I couldn't sleep nor eat. I hated myself and all that. Where could it be? How come?

Thoughts running on my head while on a call. I lost our RINGS and I lost the MOVIE FILE. What does it mean? Do I really have to let go of my emotions? Am I truly have recovered? Have I really MOVED ON? I know these questions will soon be answered in God's time.

Right after shift Joyce and I hang out for a while. Joyce was craving for twister fries so we went to McDo. Unfortunately, it will be served at 10:30am. It was only 7am and we can't wait that long. So we ended up at Bread Talk. We had a hearty talk again and enjoyed the rest of our time together.

We parted ways at 9am.

The thought of going home without our RINGS kept on lingering over my head. So I went back to Stellar to check it once again. I went to the Security Guard post and asked if somebody has reported to have found 2 wedding RINGS. The guard-on-duty said nobody does. And I checked on the log book, there were 2 people have slept at bed #3 after me. So, I worried so much maybe one of them has gotten it already. I asked permission from the guard-on-duty to check bed # 3 as there was nobody sleeping on it. The guard helped me and he even opened the lights on for me to have a better look on the bed.

My heart leaps as I found my ring with LON carved on it. It was lying next to the pillow. But where is the other one? I searched. I flipped the pillow, none. I checked on the bed cover - none. Last thought came up on my head was to flip the foam. It was heavy so it was the last resort. Thinking of leaving the quarters but I really have to make sure that I have examined all the corners and angles of bed # 3 before declaring that the other ring has gone for good.

I gave it another try to flip the heavy URATEX foam myself. The guard on duty has left me alone and I can't ask for his hand to help me. Flipping it was no joke. The Sleeping Quarters is an air-conditioned room but I felt some sweat running onto my forehead. At last I was able to flip it and have it lean onto the wall. I noticed a shimmering light coming from the darkest corner of the bed. I took a closer look at it and it was the other ring with a carved name SUZI. I was very happy and I uttered, "now my day is complete.... if I can't find the movie file I will make another one much better this time".

The guard-on-duty saw me at once as I went out of the sleeping quarters. He could see at the look on my face that I have found the rings. He asked me why did I left the rings? I gave him a brief answer and he smiled.

I rushed off and texted Joyce at once that I found the rings.

Going home makes me thank God while I was on a bus. This is my favorite part every time I'm going home. A bus ride home - praying and talking to God about me, my family, my friends, the country, my work, etc. A time to be with HIM is the best time for me to CRY and pour my heart out.

My questions were answered. The answer is YES I AM. By God's grace, He's able to make me strong no matter how big or small my challenges are.

When the Right One Comes Along...

2010-08-22T12:03:00.000-07:00

I commented on my friend's status in facebook...

FRIEND (Status): Oh it's sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along.. sobrang sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along...

SuZi Patajo Tañada: tama. eh pano mo malalaman who is the right one?

FRIEND: kapag sumubok ka ng left. bago mo malaman kung right nga si right, dapat may point of comparison. subukan mo kumabit or magkaroon ng number 2. hehe

SuZi Patajo Tañada: mhirap yan. eh pano kung ung number 2 eh ndi pa pla. may dumating na number 3... eh you belong to number 2 already. how would you handle that?

FRIEND: kabit lang ng kabit. the more the merrier. basta siguruhin mo lang na malinaw sa kanila. this is just for fun, no strings attached. tignan nyo na lang or just go with the flow. it'll all end in bed anyway. hehe

SuZi Patajo Tañada: hay naku. ndi ka makakahanap ng RIGHT person. Kse walang RIGHT person. you'll only know the RIGHT person for you if you have learned to truly LOVE and COMMIT yourself to a totally DEFECTIVE PERSON because no one is perfect.

pag ganyan philosophy mo na kabit lang ng kabit ndi ka talga makakahanap kse laging basehan mo ang "point of comparison". Kaka-compare mo, hanap ka ng hanap ng mas hihigit pa sa nakita mo.

Sa tingin ko, pag dumating ang RIGHT TIME for you to CHOOSE among your "kabits".... That's the only TIME you will have to LEARN and KNOW who among them should you KEEP.

Emie Nuevo: sorry cant help it.. very interesting point of view @suzie ^_^

SuZi Patajo Tañada: ‎@emie... thankz

Then I edited my point of view and posted it as my status:

you'll only know the RIGHT PERSON for you if you have learned to truly LOVE and COMMIT yourself to a totally DEFECTIVE PERSON because no one is perfect.

when the RIGHT TIME comes for you to CHOOSE among THEM, that's the only TIME you "have to" LEARN and KNOW who among THEM should you KEEP.

Remembering Marlon (A Journal of God's Power to Mend Relationships)

2010-08-14T17:42:00.000-07:00

This month of August is a very sentimental month for me as everything happened last year has turned my world upside down.

Below is a journal I made about Marlon's battle. I am dedicating this to our daughter Marsie so that when she grew up she will remember how brave her dad was.

July 4, 2010

I attended the Star Wars Sports Fest Opening 2009 of Stellar Global Solutions Philippines. I participated the Pump It Up dance contest to represent the Blue Team Pegasus. We won! I really enjoyed the Dance Revolution arcade with Randy, Ole, CM, etc. I also tried wall climbing with Joyce and Amy. Marsie, Mammoth and Daye were supposed to be with me at the opening unfortunately, Marlon was very sick by then and I have to cut my time with my friends. My office mates Garo, Randy and Roma gave me their food stamps for Marsie. It was fun and we had picture taking with TM Nes, Mae, Andie, Sam and TM Nes' son. While having fun, I've been receiving text messages from Marlon that he's asking to me go home before lunch time. I just maximized my time with my friends and had a little talk with Apple about Marlon's condition. She comforted me and I cried on her shoulders because I knew that when I get back home in Marikina, I would be facing a more serious problem.

As I arrived in Marikina I just rested for a while and talked with my husband. I know he's in pain so I kept on hugging him and re-assuring him that I will be with him no matter what.

Ate Mimi accompanied us at Amang Rodriguez Medical Center in Marikina. She paid for all laboratory tests.

July 6, 2009

Accompanied dadi Marlon at the hospital for his CT Scan at Amang Rodriguez. I contacted Ptr. Roland Ramos to ask help as to where to seek financial assistance. He introduced Sis. Glo Fajarda who works at Amang.

July 9, 2009

I went to Amang and and looked for Sis. Glo Fajarda at the Accounting Department. She's a member of Soul RX of Bread of Life Marikina. She assisted me on how to seek financial aid through Social Welfare Association.

July 11, 2009

Marlon woke up early around 3am to meet me at KFC Cubao near Stellar because we're going to East Avenue Medical Center for his Colonoscopy appointment with Dr. Ronald Umipig at 5am. Thank God at this time TL Aris was able to help me file for VTO. I could still vividly remember what happened. I saw him at a distant while I was walking toward KFC. I wanted to cry. Seeing him in pain makes me feel sad. I hate to see him that way because I'm used to seeing him as a jolly person with a light-heart spirit. We were then waiting for a cab across the street near Gateway. Suddenly, Roma and Ann called my attention. They saw me and Marlon and bade us goodbye hoping for a good result.

We arrived at East Avenue Medical Center at 4:30am but the doctor arrived at 6am. Just imagine how Marlon felt that day. He was on protocol to fast. He hasn't eaten anything yet and his fasting was prolonged. When Doctor Ronald Umipig arrived, he said that his assistant will not be available so he asked me to give him a hand. He handed me a pair of surgical gloves that I need to pay at the cashier.

Marlon was holding my left hand all throughout the process while my right hand was holding on the colonoscopy apparatus, I don't know how it is called. That thing is squirting feces of Marlon. It is pressurized and this is where the doctor used to control the colonoscopy camera as it entered into Marlon's tummy through his anus. I could see Marlon's face in distress and his hand tightly grasping mine. I could hear him cry in pain as the apparatus was slowly penetrating his intestines. Looking at the tv monitor, I could see blood gushing out from intestinal walls. There were mass of white color and some are blackish. The doctor confirmed that he's at stage 3. So he asked my permission to get a tissue for Histopath. We both agreed and the doctor performed a biopsy extraction.

July 16, 2009

Marlon's day 1 of confinement at the hospital. His hemoglobin count dropped to 6.3 versus the normal rate of 12.5 (very low). He needed blood transfusion for about 4 bags. That is equivalent to 8 donors. Though Marlon was confined, I still need to go to work. It was Mang Pekto who would accompany Marlon at the hospital while I'm away for work.

July 17, 2009

I brought up my concerns to my team leader Aris that Marlon needs blood transfusion and he was kind enough to bring the matter up to the whole Australasia Bay. Ate Mimi went to Amang together with 2 nurse attendants (George and the other guy, I forgot the name) to donate blood for Marlon. George is the closest friend of Marlon at Divine Mercy Psychiatric Institution. He was the only person whom Marlon trusted and he called him "tatay George". He is also the one who knew that he has a very serious illness that Marlon kept it from me as he don't want me to worry about him.

Randy Amora arrived at Amang. I was touched that he donated blood for Marlon. Randy is my wave mate at stellar and was my team mate too in Palau. He is one of my closest friends at work. Marlon was losing weight. His looks changed but his spirit is still intact. A jolly person with a good fighting spirit. I am happy to see Marlon that way. We were both fighting this battle TWO-gether.

July 18, 2009

Dadi Marlon received his first blood transfusion. He consumed 2 bags. I hate the nurse who attended Marlon. Marlon was supposed to be injected with vials of Vit. K in 3 intervals. The first interval was a panic to us. The nurse injected the first vial. Right after that in just a matter of 10 seconds, Marlon had a seizure and he had a mental block. Thank God there was somebody beside him another patient who helped him get up. I rushed to see dadi. He was pale and stiff. He can't talk and had a blank face as if he did not recognized me. I rushed to the nurse station and reported the incident. When I got back, Marlon was ok and he told me right after Vit K was injected he felt the numbness all over his body. That nurse walked out didn't showed up.

Marlon asked me to accompany him at the comfort room. I held his IV and BT (blood transfusion). As he stood up, blood gushed out from the bag. The syringe was detached from the main plug. That silly nurse's fault again. She failed to put the Micropor tape to secure the syringe. The floor was all blood. My hand was bloody red. I was in a panic mode. I don't know what to do. I have the IV and BT on my hands and I can't reach the syringe to stop the blood. I just needed to think fast and act fast. At last my brain functioned to react to the situation. I hang the IV and BT to the pole and grabbed the syringe as fast as I could. The blood stopped but I don't know if I should put it back on the plug, or should I clean it first. But I'm bloody red and can't grab anything to clean the mess. I just put back the syringe on the plug and asked Marlon to limit his movements. I cleaned myself, grabbed an alcohol and some cotton to sanitize the BT plug. I put the micropor around the plug to ensure that the syringe will not fall off again. I am very disappointed, that no one from the nurse station dared to help me. Just the neighboring patients stood up and helped us.

What do I expect? Amang Rodriguez is a public hospital. They are under-staffed and the atmosphere is not patient-friendly. I am not expecting anymore. If they would be nice THANK GOD. If not, it is theirs to think about it not mine. Their profession is to TAKE CARE patients and not to abandon them. It is for them to draw the line between PROFESSION and being STRESSED OUT. Work is work irregardless of what you feel. It is not an excuse to blame at the hospital's lack of equipment, lack of nurses, lack of doctors, etc.

July 19, 2009

TM Marie Faberes came to donate blood for Marlon (Type O). She is not my TM but we've been talking since I was selling Herbalife at the Pantry last 2008.

July 20, 2009

Jigger Antido (my best friend) came over to donate blood for Marlon.

July 21, 2009

Bryan from Team Kiribati came to donate blood for Marlon. Aww... so touching. Thank you so much Bryan. He's not my team mate but a close friend in the office. Papa Boy bought Marlon's 8th bag from the Blood Bank of Amang.

Doctor Salvani said that Marlon needs to eat more eggs and taho everyday to increase his protein and albumin count. This is essential for him in preparation for his surgery. Marlon needs several laboratory tests for clearance to see if he is capable of coping up with the surgery. The doctors need to see if his blood count is already at its normal level.

Doctor Salvani gave Marlon some free samples of protein milk to help him recover fast. Marlon was very happy to see his doctor. He said that he has a crush on doctor Salvani. I am happy for him as he joked and looked at me saying "SELOS KA NAMAN".

Ate Mimi came at Amang late in the afternoon. She told me that I should ask the doctors to stop the lab tests because she has no money to spend for it. Upon hearing that, my brain wants to explode and try to understand what she meant over and over again. Did I hear her correctly that she wants to get rid all of the lab tests to save her pocket? Didn't she realized that Marlon needs the lab tests all the more to make sure that he is able to LIVE after surgery? Didn't she want Marlon to have a successful surgery? Those were the questions kept lingering on my head at that time. Forgive me but that was me. I am not the type of person who would summon someone for a fight. I usually summon my brain and FIGHT my subconscious mind and try to bring back my composure as I can. For I believe it is far better to be "HUMANE" than being "HUMAN".

July 24, 2009

Marlon and I prayed last night. It was my day off yesterday so Pekto went home with his family. At this time, Marlon's color improved because of the good response from the blood transfusion and from his strict eggs/taho diet. Marlon was taking Herbalife too as his food supplement.

Marlon is becoming a prayerful man. He's learning to verbalize that God is taking in control of everything. And that he's got the strength now that he never have had before.

July 26, 2009

Marlon texted me while I was washing my clothes at Amy's house. He said that he needs 2 more BT's (blood transfusion). I can't help it but cry. This time I let my tears fall down because Marlon was not around. I don't want Marlon to see me crying as I don't want to affect his STRENGTH. It's going to be hard again for Marlon. BT usually lasts 4 hours. He will have to bear these 4 hours sitting as he's not allowed to sleep while on a BT. He preferred to sit so that there will be no problems in the BT process. He's getting rid of the clogging, backflowing and frequent visits to the comfort room. As much as possible he would not eat nor drink in 4 hours while BT is being performed. He is limiting his movements so that the line to his veins is still good to go.

Prior to this, yesterday I was very happy at the office. I talked to TL Nesty and updated him about Marlon's conditions. I also talked with TL Aris (my immediate supervisor) about my QA monitoring made by Ginno. I filed a dispute and Aris supported me. I was very happy also that my team Palau was showing their support for Marlon.

I need to be strong for my husband so that his PEACE and STRENGTH will remain in him and his prayerful heart should stay in his spirit.

TL Aris also allowed me to rest/sleep at the clinic for 3 hours. Oh, I appreciated it so much. Thank you TL Aris. Amy was very hospitable and accommodating to "all" my needs. In return, I patronized her merchandise. I bought some shorts and shirts for Marlon. Amy gave me a big discount and Robert (Amy's husband) gave Marlon some FREE shorts. Amy also gave me some of her old clothes.

July 27, 2009

This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Thank you Lord for being so faithful to us. Thank you Lord for FRIENDS who helped and supported us: mami Ruby, Roma, Amy, TL Nesty, TL Julius, TL Aris, TL Mari, OM Edz, Ice, Ayanne, Jigz, Obet, Randy, Berns, Gamma, Mavic, Apple, Bryan, Ann, etc.

This is the day that Marlon and I prayed together. And the Lord dealt us to fix our relationship first and foremost with the LORD and every relationships we've had will be fixed as well: spouse, children, parents, siblings, relatives, in-laws, friends, superiors, subordinates, strangers, co-workers, neighbors, countrymen and ENEMIES.

July 31, 2009

Marlon asked me to go home to check on Marsie and to ask for prayer requests from our JIA church mates. I was able to talked with Sis. Ruby and Bro. Alex. They assured me that their prayers will go with Marlon. Songs that struck me during the Praise and Worship was Eagle's Wings and His Eye is on the Sparrow.

I stayed overnight at Junix' place with Marsie. I attended Sunday Service at JIA. I finished the whole service in spite of Marlon's plea not to finish it so that I could go back to him asap with mama.

After the service Marsie and Jasmine went with me at Walter Mart to buy some toys and their baon for school. We bought a toy for Sarah too. Tita Ann and Tito Jerson went to Bulacan. Tita Ann is 5 months pregnant. We just had some few chit chats then mama and I have to rush in going to Manila. Marsie was clueless about his dad's situation.

Mama and I arrived Amang at 5:30pm. Papa Boy, Ate Mimi, Daye and Mang Mar were there. I had a spiritual encounter today with the Lord to fix broken relationships so God helped me mend my ill-feelings towards my in-laws. Had a chance to have a heart to heart talk with ate Mimi and I was able to show her the importance of spirituality in our lives. I invited her over to attend fellowships. She didn't say yes or no. She was just silent - but I would take it as a good sign to patch things up between us.

She asked for understanding if papa Boy has committed any shortcomings. She cried when I told her that Marlon's condition is at the worst scenario. And I shared with her that in spite of that Marlon and I still have this FAITH and believed that God is going to do MORE to fulfill HIS greater PLAN for ALL of us.

Then I uttered a prayer in my heart...

"Lord I pray, please use Marlon and I mightily to show forth your GLORY. Use every part of us, our body, soul and spirit to mend relationships and to save souls. Lord, we claim for HEALING, MIRACLES, SALVATION and SPIRITUAL BREAKTHROUGHS in the lives of every people around us (papa Boy, ate Mimi, kuya Ned, Agnes, Jenny, Daye, Mammoth, friends, relatives, etc). Use our life to display your power, glory, mercy, grace, love and greatness. AMEN."

August 2, 2009

Mama went with me in going back to Marikina as Marlon will be scheduled for surgery any time tomorrow. Marlon requested to have mama beside him right after his surgery. Marlon was very understanding that as much as I wanted to be with him after his surgery but I can't because I have to go to work. It was so touching because he requested my mom to be with him right after his surgery and "not" his dad nor his sister.

August 3, 2009

Sister Ronette Tan texted me and said that she still have the spare blood of her deceased mom and that she's going to donate it for Marlon. So I went to their house to get the blood bank request form from Bro. Tin at Pagataan. He gave me P1,000 for Marlon's needs.

While I was looking after Marlon's BT, papa Boy and ate Mimi has to buy the required stent for Marlon's surgery at Kidney Institute as Doctor Salvani instructed. There was no available stent at Kidney Institute. They were able to buy one at St. Luke's which is far more expensive than the one at Kidney Institute.

I went to Chinese General to get the blood needed for Marlon's backup BT while he's at the operating room. I bought a cooler and some ice to preserve the blood. But Chinese General Hospital will not release the blood until the request was signed by Doctor Salvani or any attending physician of Marlon. So I went back to Amang and waited for Salvani to sign the Blood Transfusion Request form. I rushed back to Chinese General Hospital to claim the blood and paid P3,140. I used the money that is supposed to be for our home amortization.

I took a cab in going back to Amang. I brought the blood at the Blood Bank of Amang Hospital immediately. I went to Male Surgery Ward to see Marlon's condition. He was ok. Mama was taking good care of him. Mama and Marlon prayed most of the time.

August 4, 2009

Marlon undergone his surgery. The doctors opened his tummy but didn't remove the mass (too numerous to remove and it spread to his urinary bladder). They put colostomy on his side and has NGT and catheter.

I was beside him when he went out of the recovery room. He saw me and showed me a thumbs up sign. I could hardly compose myself and I feel like crying. But seeing him smiling with a thumbs up, I have to hold back my tears. I embraced him, held his hands and uttered a thank you prayer to Jesus. He's not allowed to talk so I whispered to him that he should rest and I will take good care of him.

He didn't know that it was just an open and close surgery and that he has colostomy bag on his tummy. I don't know how to tell him about it without breaking his good spirit to fight his cancer. So, I just prayed and asked God for wisdom.

While he was sleeping, the doctor told me that I should learn how to change his colostomy bag. OMG! I just can't stand looking at how the nurse cleaned his colostomy. Blood gushing out and messed up his bed. Dadi was clueless as he was not feeling any pain while blood is gushing out from his tummy. Mama can't stand it and turned back.

I have to buy more colostomy bag as it is going to be his daily routine until he gets better. Colostomy bag is too expensive. Thinking about the cost plus his medicines and his food, oh my, I don't know where to find money to sustain his needs.

August 5, 2009

It's just now that everything gets into my nerve that Marlon is at Stage 3. I broke done at the office and many times I was not doing well at work. Going to work is my outlet to burst and be myself that I am WEAK and VULNERABLE. But I have to be okay for my husband and for my daughter. I have to remind myself that I am Marlon's PARTNER in this battlefield. And I am Marsie's mom to be her GUIDE.

August 6, 2009

I missed Marsie so much. Moreso, dadi Marlon missed his princess. I am too careful not to mention Marsie's name so that dadi will not feel bad.

Marlon's funds are totally drained. I cried for help once again, "Lord, may you provide our needs as you are my Jehovah Jireh."

I already went to St. Luke's to refund for the stent that was not used for Marlon's surgery. Was able to refund the amount of P2,087.87. Marlon is consuming P1,490 everyday.

August 7, 2009

A very prayerful day wherever I go...

"Lord, I knew that it's too late for me to realize that Marlon should have not undergone surgery as Ptr Alex said. But I know that there's a reason why it happened. Why papa Boy and ate Mimi keeps on insisting to have his surgery done asap. I would cling on to to you all the more because you are the "all-knowing" God. I love Marlon so much and I want him to be back with a different body that is full of miracles, love, mercy and grace. Nowadays, I want to believe that you are going to heal Marlon totally."

August 8, 2009

It's my day off. I would take care of him 24 hours today. I changed his colostomy, changed his soiled brief and shorts. I can't believe that I'm able to learn it fast. I used to "live" at the hospital already with Marlon. Right after work, I went straight to Amang to sleep a bit then wake up to attend to Marlon's needs. I used to take a bath at the children's ward comfort room at the ground floor. I used to buy our food at the hospital's cafetorium at the ground floor.

Today is his first day to eat malunggay soup with tilapia cooked by papa Boy for him. He's always asking me to pray for him several times. Before I go to work and several times during my day off. Our prayer is for his healing. Healing from his cancer and healing from broken relationships that we've had. The purpose is to save souls and to show God's glory to people around us.

During his afternoon nap he was in excruciating pain due to he's not able to digest well yet. He ate a lot during lunch time.

August 9, 2009

Again, Marlon was in excruciating pain when he ate a lot when papa cooked him nilagang baka. He was in pain for 30 minutes around 8:00pm to 8:30pm. He couldn't sleep.

This afternoon, Doc Salvani and Doc Batungbakal told us that we can go home tomorrow. And this was the day when TL Aris called me up telling me that I was tagged NCNS which I was clueless about because I knew it was my off.

August 10, 2009

Marlon's bill was P21,687. It was discounted to P8000 as I was able to seek financial assistance from SWA. Still I can't afford such an amount plus the fact Mimi and Papa didn't gave me any single penny to pay for the hospital. I went to the office of Congressman Marcy and they gave me P1500 and another P2000 from Senator Enrile. So it leaves to an amount of P4,500. Still I can't afford it because I only have P3500. I went to SWA again to seek if there's another way to get it lowered. They instructed me to go to the accounting department and check if Mayor Marides has got something to give. Thank God, the hospital gave P1500 and the balance was lowered to P3000.

I called ate Mimi and told her about it. She wants to get it lowered. She called me to go to Kagawad Enard and tell him that I was being referred to by Kagawad Gil Navarro. But Kagawad Enard was not around and didn't get any financial assistance in the end. So, I just acted upon it. I paid at the cashier worth P3000 before it gets closed. Marlon has one bag left at the blood bank. There was a woman who approached me if Marlon has a spare blood. She needs it for her daughter. I told her that we have one more bag left. She said she wants to buy it for P1000 because that's all she got. I agreed even if I paid it for P3,140 (my sweat and blood from my own pocket). So we went to Blood Bank to fix the transfer of ownership. That was the blood I bought at Chinese General Hospital that Marlon is supposed to use while he's at the operating room.

Today is a very tiresome day and yet I have to go on and on and on...

Marlon got a high fever while I was busy fixing his hospital bills. First, he chilled then he's fever rose up to 39 degrees Celsius. Sis. Babylita helped me. She gave us hot compress to ease Marlon's chilling and bought Biogesic for Marlon. Sis. Babylita is the woman who approached me who bought Marlon's blood for P750. She was supposed to pay me P1000 but because of her kindness and I know she has more challenges to face I only asked for P70 instead.

I called ate Mimi and she told me to go to Kagawad Gil for additional help. But Marlon was still chilling. I can't leave him anymore. I took care of him and pay much attention to his fever for 2 hours. I administered cold compress until his fever subsided. I took heed ate Mimi's suggestion to go to Kagawad Gil. Unfortunately, they gave nothing. Kagawad Gild is a friend of ate Mimi. I asked Mimi if papa can bring some money for Marlon's discharge. She said we have to wait until tomorrow, but Marlon is longing to go home.

When Marlon was chilling and having a high fever, it was only me and Sis. Babylita who helped him. I went to the nurse station several times asking for assistance but they kept on saying "one moment please". Damn phrase "one moment please" for a nurse to tell that to his dying/sick patients! When they came, it was too late. His fever already subsided.

Papa Boy called kuya Jun to drive Marlon back home with his jeep. Marlon was too tired and messy too. He ran out of colostomy bag. I asked ate Mimi some money to buy is colostomy bag. They all wanted to have Marlon's colostomy cleaned up because it's getting smelly already. Since there's no colostomy bag. I am improvising some ways to drain his soiled colostomy bag. I've been punching holes to drain it and put some micropor around the opening to close it. It's getting messier as they say how I improvised.

At last, papap Boy volunteered to buy the colostomy. Unfortunately, he was not able to buy one. I have instructed him that it can only be bought at the Mercury or Marikina Valley Hospital. Papa Boy only tried Mercury and bought nothing. So I rushed to Marikina Valley to buy a good quality Colostomy Bag. I left Marlon for a moment, securing his soiled bag first before I left.

When I came back, I replaced his colostomy bag. No more spills, no more foul odor, and he can move freely.

At the middle of the night while we were sleeping, he chilled again and his fever rose to 39 degrees Celsius. I rushed to ate Mimi and asked for medicines. I administered hot and cold compress.

Marlon was too weak yet to handle his own colostomy drain. So, I called TL Aris that I won't be able to go to work so that they will not tag me as NCNS.

August 11, 2009

Thank God it's my day off. I was able to look after Marlon again for 24 hours. I was able to give him immediate care when his fever attacked him once again. He lose bowel through his anus with blood. We didn't expect it because we thought that he's bowel will no longer pass through his anus but through his colostomy. He was eating his breakfast when a foul smell annoyed ate Mimi and Jenoy. I saw him he was wet with his bloody bowel. I cleaned him up. His papa Boy went out of the house and can't stand the smell it created at the dining table. Jenoy their househelp stepped out of the house too... vomiting.

I changed Marlon's clothes and brief. I secured him first, made him comfortable and let him sleep while I washed his soiled clothes. I cleaned up his mess at the dining table and scrubbed the floor where it got some stain. After the chores, I went back to his room and checked on his condition. He's got fever again.

I was worried about his situation so I asked Jenoy to reload my cellphone. I would have to call Doctor Batungbakal for some advice. Doctor said that due to his condition it is but normal to have fever once in a while. And this bowel movement is normal because they didn't closed his anus. He said that he's slowly recuperating but his immune system was very low. Doctor advised that he needs to eat well to recover.

August 12, 2009

It's my day off. Marlon's waper needs to be replaced. It's worth P400+ at the Marikina Valley Hospital. I used my own money to buy 2 wapers and 2 clamps.

Maribel, Marlon's cousin called him up on the phone. While he was talking with Maribel he was very enthusiastic but he was chilling again while talking on the phone. He did not tell Maribel about it. He just sounded ok and asked Maribel that he needs to rest and thanked her for the call. I grabbed his hand to help him walk to his room to have some rest. Marlon and I prayed all the more. He asked God to take away his fever so that he may get well soon. He cried and praised God when his fever subsided after 2 hours. He called is dad and thanked him for their financial support.

Now, we ran out of his milk, juices for protein and fiber (his daily requirement). We just let GO and LET GOD. We prayed together... We praised and worshiped God together... and we were TWO-gether.

Marlon loose some bloody bowel again. This time he didn't soiled his pants. He was able to manage to go to the bathroom. He shaved his goaty and now he looked better than yesterday.

During the night, he's complaining that he can't sleep. He was too sleepy but he can't go to sleep. It's because he was losing blood and has anemia. Thank God ate Mimi bought him iron tablets for his blood. He's unusually awake between the hours of 11pm to 3am.

August 13, 2009

Marlon woke up at 8am. Thank God he was able to sleep that long. I bought him coco crunch cereal for his breakfast. He finished his milk and his taho.

August 14, 2009

Mama brought Marsie to Marikina. Mama stayed overnight and she went back to Bulacan the following day. I explained to Marsie about her dad's situation. I told her that dadi has a wound on his tummy so she has to be very careful when she would hug her dad. She has to hug her dad gently. I told her that her dad is moving bowel through his tummy. Marsie can hardly believe me so I showed her dadi's colostomy. My fault, because Marsie was shocked and didn't want to go near her dad anymore. She kept on crying. So before I left for work, I explained to her again that it was just temporary.

August 15, 2009

When I came home from work, Marsie was able to get over her fear. She's drawing near her dad already and looking at us on how I cleaned his dad's colostomy.

We celebrated Marsie's 6th birthday in advanced. Marsie's visitors were Amy with her family, Apple and Joyce. I bought a cake, softdrinks, shanghai and pancit. Amy brought Crispy Ulo which Marlon ate.

August 16, 2009

I brought Marsie back to Bulacan for her school. Then I have to go back to work.

August 17, 2009

Kuya Myk called me up and encouraged me and Marlon to consider Doctor Navarro (a wellness doctor who specializes in cancer cases).

August 18, 2009

I went to Pag-ibig to pay the August monthly amortization with 13 days penalty. Today is my day off.

August 19, 2009

I have my shift and Marlon is having a fever again. I instructed him to take Biogesic round the clock every 4 hours while I'm at work. This time I missed Marsie so much. Me and Marlon have lost so many time with Marsie. Lord, help us manage a quality time with Marsie.

August 20, 2009

I went to doctor Navarro's clinic as instructed by kuya Myk. Doc Des gave me some lecture on Natural Food for Marlon and the Balancing Diet to combat cancer.

On my way home I saw Doc Estrellita Te getting off the MRT at Shaw Station. We talked and told her about Marlon's situation. She recalled that Levy has a colon cancer too before and now she has survived cancer 100%. Levy was at stage 3B then. And Marlon is at Stage 3.

Doc Des tole me that Marlon has a big chance to get better. Marlon accepted the treatment although he just disliked the enema routine which has to be administered daily. He wanted his colostomy out.

Tomorrow, I will go to Amang and ask Doc Salvani as to when his colostomy be taken out. Marlon and I kept on praying for his total healing.

September 1, 2009

Today is Marsie's actual birthday. I called Junix if we could greet Marsie a happy birthday. Unfortunately, Marsie didn't dropped by at Junix' house. I went to Doc Navarro's clinic and it was Doc Des who accommodated me. I bought the Balancing for Marlon worth P6350 that would last for 2weeks. Ate Mimi shared P2000, papa Boy shared P2000 and the rest are from me.

I bought bulalo, honey, dalandan, fish, etc for Marlon. To help Marlon recover fast, I have to give him all natural food. I have to change also my diet and pattern it to Marlon's diet to encourage him all the more.

September 2, 2009

Right after my shift I was asked by Amy if I could visit her dying mom at Heart Center. I took time to visit her mom even though Marlon is also sick. I was able to talk to her mom and prayed for her. Prayer for her salvation and have invited Jesus to take control of her being. Then I rushed going back home in Marikina.

Marlon started taking his Balancing. In the morning before breakfast on an empty stomach he needs to do the following:

* take 1 glass of distilled water mixed with half teaspoon of agua oxinada (food grade 10%)

* administer 1 liter enema of distilled water mixed with 1 tbsp agua oxinada

After breakfast, he has to take his Balancing Medicines with Carabao's Milk, Carrot Juice, etc. And during the night after dinner he has to take balancing meds again.

September 3, 2009

Marlon's responses to Balancing was very good. He's got a good sleep, good energy, good bowel movement, no pain, no more fever, no allergic reactions.

September 5, 2009

Marlon was in pain due to detox effect of the balancing. He's experiencing pain on his back, around the colostomy bag, stomach, upper stomach. But all these pains are tolerable compared to his pains before. Thank God today is my day off. I am able to monitor Marlon round the clock today. Marlon's stoma was inflamed. It grew so big as my arm 7 inches long. I was too worried about this. When I asked him if he's in pain he said that the pain was tolerable and that it changes directions of the pain.

I made carrot juice out of the 1 kilo of fresh carrots I bought from the market. Marlon's carrot juice was mixed with kinchay and celery. Ate Melinda lend me her juicer.

I receive a text message from Amy that her mom just passed away.

September 6, 2009

Marlon's stoma is still inflamed. We prayed so hard to help Marlon. We claimed that God is the Great Physician. We entrust everything into God's hands.

September 10, 2009

2nd Year Anniversary of Stellar. Francis J. Kong was invited to talk about Excellence. I asked for an autograph. I used Marlon's Colostomy Bag seal to have FJK's signature.

September 12, 2009

Finally Marlon and I went home to Bulacan by the grace and mercy of God. I thought we're not going to be home yet because ate Mimi told us that we can't go home yet. For what reason? She said we don't have a vehicle to bring us back home But Marlon was very persistent. He said he wants to be home to see Marsie performed on stage with her Declamation. He talked to kuya Jun Pineda if he could drive us back home in Bulacan. I just took a short nap then we headed homeward bound. It was raining cats and dogs but it didn't hinder us in going back home. Papa Boy accompanied us.

I don't have funds to sustain our needs in Bulacan. I don't know how are we going to survive. Thank God His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts - that I can't comprehend His goodness, mercy and love.

Ate Mimi gave Marlon a start up capital of P5,000 to have a sari sari store in Bulacan. Lord, give us wisdom on how to be a good steward of these blessings. Thank you Lord. Ate Mimi gave an additional P2,000 for Marlon's Balancing and papa boy gave P2000 as well.

On our way home, we encountered a collision along CP Garcia. We were hit by a Trooper because kuya Jun halted when there was a deep opening on the road. As a result, a truck hit the Trooper that collided to our vehicle. The process delayed our going home. Thank God I was able to bring some food for Marlon and some water. I took pictures of the damaged as Marlon can't get off the jeep. He wanted to see how bad we were hit. I showed him the pictures that we were not badly hit. It was the Trooper that has multiple cracks and damages. We were saved by God. No matter what happened still God has kept us safe and no one was wounded. We stopped by at Camp Karingal for 2 hours to settle the damage

We bought bangus at Anyhaw for lunch. Marlon was very happy to be home. Marsie was very excited to see us back.

Marlon's pain attacked again. We just prayed and asked God to touch his PAIN. Then Dadi was able to take his balancing.

Nanay Ising came over to visit Marlon. Dadi was very happy to see our friendly neighbor Nanay Ising. He testified that it was only through PRAYERS that he's getting better everyday.

September 13, 2009

Marlon was showing signs of improvements. Thus, I made use of the time to venture into Load Extreme business to augment our income. I also attended DLC seminar and signed up for P300.

October 19, 2009

Marlon and I celebrated our 8th year wedding anniversary. I cooked Bulalo for Dadi which he loved so much. He was getting better and was able to clean up his colostomy by himself. His sari sari store gained profit. He was frequently doing his morning routine to exercise by walking outside. He was able to do his routine to buy morning newspapers on our neighborhood and visited his cousin Third who lives down some few blocks away from our house. He's no longer in pain and no longer showing fever for quite some time.

We were able to go malling and he knows already how to manage his colostomy drain when were at Walter Mart. We have to bring his paraphernalia: alcohol, cotton and tissue paper.

We bought a wedding ring. He was the one who chose the design. We both have the same size. We bought it at Silver Works Walter Mart Sta. Maria. An engraved ring of our name and date of our wedding. On my ring it has LON 101901 and on his ring SUZI 101901

We were both happy and he ate his favorite Shawarma Rice at Walter Mart Food Court. He was full of hope. His energy level was good.

Today is also Papa Boy's Birthday. He called papa Boy on the cell phone and greeted him happy birthday.

October 22, 2009

Marlon thought of his dad most of the time. He wanted to visit his dad, so we went to Marikina. We were able to visit the Tiangge at the Riverbanks. Marlon at shawarma. He was ok and very happy seeing his family. I made sure that all his Balancing meds were taken on time and that his eating all natural foods.

We can't stay long in Marikina as Marsie has to go to school. I asked Marlon if he wants to stay but he insisted to go back home with us in Bulacan.

Marlon boast of our wedding ring to ate Mimi and Papa Boy. He was very happy and looking forward to his fast recovery.

October 31, 2009

Marlon remembered his deceased mom and brother. He lighted some candles outside our house for them.

December 25, 2009

Marlon was too excited to call papa Boy on the cell phone to confirm their coming to visit him here at Bulacan. Because ate Mimi and papa Boy have planned to spent Christmas with us here in Bulacan. It was an overnight stay and have December 26 as the set date for reunion with the rest of their cousins Third and Maribel.

But Marlon's spirit went low upon hearing that they're not able to come because they're all busy. They told Marlon to make up on his birthday on December 29. Marlon was very sad after their phone conversation.

I just comforted him with these words, "Dadi ok lang yun. At least ngayon alam na natin na marami ng pagbabago sa iyo. Unti unti ka ng lumalakas at gumagaling."

December 28, 2009

He called ate Mimi and asked if they will come visit him tomorrow on his birthday. But he was just upset to hear that they're busy.

December 29, 2009

Today is his 38th birthday. I cooked organic pasta for his birthday. I made him an organic salad, tacos, garden fresh salad and Bulalo (his favorite). But he was not happy. His spirit was low. No amount of encouraging words could cheer him up. He was thinking a lot lately. He refused to take his medicines, he's no longer opening his sari sari store, he refused to go outside, he frequently lie down and refused to eat well. I was too worried about his condition at this time. I could feel his PAIN. But this time, not the PAIN of his illness. But the PAIN in his heart that is more PAINFUL than his cancer.

I wanted to scream. I wanted so much to show my anger at them. Why can't they just spend time with Marlon? Why would they give him an excuse that they're busy? Can't they just pause for a while and think about Marlon who is sick of cancer? Can't they just leave their things for a moment and spend time with Marlon who needs EXTRA CARE and ATTENTION? Can't they just simply think about Marlon for a moment? Agh! It hurts! It's much painful for Marlon seeing that my family is taking good care of him MORE than his own family.

His composure just got back when my brother Rowell with Josie and Miko, cousins Ann and Jerson visited him. He was touched when my brother Rowell came over and cooked Bulalo for him.

December 30, 2009

Though Marlon knew that Me and my Family will always be there for him, he can't hide his longing to have his family looking after him the way we showed him. He wants to feel the warmth. Some physical touch and connection with him. Money can't replace LOVE and CARE. No amount of material nor money can replace the touch of love and genuine care.

January 18, 2010

Marlon's energy is deteriorating but Marlon's tummy is showing improvements. His tummy is no longer inflamed. He's no longer experiencing pain. His colostomy is no longer inflamed.

Marlon was depressed about his family. He's become silent most of the time. And I make sure that I talked to him once in a while. Telling him stories about work and God's blessings in our lives. I kept on hugging him and never failed to kiss him when I'm leaving for work. I assured him of my love for him and will always be with him.

His left leg was inflamed I don't know why. I called Doc Des and set an appointment on Thursday at 10am.

Though Marlon was refusing to take his Balancing meds, I was able to convince him to take it anyway before I left for work.

January 19, 2010

OM Don Lim caught me asleep during the call for 15 minutes. I was expecting for an IR at the end of the day. But he didn't approached me again and never had one.

Yasmine my office mate prayed for me and for Marlon before I left the office.

When I arrived home Marlon's colostomy is very small (at a normal size). This is another sign that his cancer cells are now asleep. Dadi was able to finish 1 whole duck's egg raw mixed with whey powder.

Dadi told me that he can hardly swallow, talk and eat. I was beginning to worry again about his situation. I could see that he's losing weight so fast.

Dadi also cried and was very sad about what Mimi told him. He said Mimi asked him to wear diapers because he is disturbing their sleep at night every time he asked to go to the comfort room. He then asked me to buy him some diapers. Since then on refused to move and stayed long hours lying down in bed. He doesn't want to go to the comfort room anymore. He'd rather do his thing lying down. Besides he's got his diapers on anyway. That's how he thinks these days.

January 21, 2010

Marlon attended the check up session with Doc Des. Ate Mimi drove us to Doc Navarro's clinic. Kuya Jun accompanied us. Ate Mimi just got her new Honda City car. Doc Des said that he's dehydrated and needs to be confined. Due to his refusal to eat, his energy level dropped. Doc Des advised to give Marlon the Balancing all the more. So there's a need to get Marlon's 2week supply of Balancing which is normally costs P6000.

At this time, ate Mimi knew that I don't have money anymore. We were on our own in Bulacan and we don't have any financial aid there at all. We're just expecting my salary to feed us, for Marlon and for Marsie's school.

When Doc Des said that his food and meds worth P6000, I asked ate Mimi if she can lend us some money. She plainly answered, "NO I have no money". So, what's next? What do we do now? I only have P2000 left in my pocket for Marlon's colostomy. Should we go home and leave Marlon's meds and food because we have nothing to pay for it? I can't stand this damn creepy selfishness in the air. So I talked to Doc Des in private. I told the whole story in a gist. That she just bought that 5day old Honda City car in COLD CASH. And that she has no MONEY. And that I only have P2000 left in my pocket (no more no less - my last grin so to speak). I am willing to shell out my P2000. I asked Doc Des if she could cut down the meds for just a week and I'll get back to get the remaining set. Doc Des can't believe of what she heard that Marlon's very own sister doesn't have the initiative to do something about Marlon's needs. She was just seated at the lounge with no reactions at all. I could still remember the words of Doc Des, "May bago siyang kotse pero hindi niya maisip mag withdraw. Madaming ATM diyan sa labas ah. May ATM ba siya? Tanong mo nga kung may ATM siya." So I went to ask ate Mimi if she brought her ATM to withdraw something for Marlon. Again, she just answered me in point-blank "NO". Doc Des again said these words, "Ah alam ko na kung bakit nagkaganyan si Marlon. Made-depress ka talga sa ganyang klaseng tao. Sige Susie bigay ko na lang sa iyo ng P2000 balikan mo na lang yung kulang. Tulong ko yan kay Marlon. Sige na alagaan mo na lang mabuti si Marlon." I thanked Doc Des and we left the clinic.

Ate Mimi discussed things with papa that we will have a private room for Marlon at St. Victoria Hospital.

I have work at night and I think I should stay with Marlon at the hospital. I texted TL Jules to get OM Dom's number. I need to avail a Vacation Leave. TL Jules texted me back stating that OM Don Lim can't approve of my VL because there was no available slot.

After few minutes, OM Dom of Asia texted me that he's giving me Friday and Saturday VL. Thank God for OM Dom. He's not really my immediate superior but God used him to grant my VL. Sunday is my scheduled off so I'll be back Monday then.

I texted Tita Glends to burn Marlon's favorites songs: Still, Isang Bagay and Dampi ng Kalwalhatian. I believe that Marlon is showing signs that he's letting go but I'm not ready to LET GO. I asked tita to bring Marsie at St. Victoria to give give his dad some strength to go on if there's still hope left.

January 22, 2010

Marlon was transferred to a Private Room in St. Victoria (room 205). Prior to that I told Mimi that it's ok for me if Marlon is going to be confined at the Surgical Ward. But she keeps on insisting at the Nurse Station if there's a private room available then we better bring Marlon to a much better room. Kuya Orly was with us along the way. He know how our conversation goes. It was clear that we will get a better place for Marlon even if a Surgical Ward is fine with us. I informed papa Boy about this and he said that it is far better to give Marlon a better room to stay.

Ate Mimi was asking Papa Boy to have Marlon take his Viaticum. When I heard of this, I want to jumped off my seat and walked out. Why? Because it feels like, she's thinking ahead that Marlon will die any moment this day. YES, I agreed that we need to face all possibilities even the worst and detrimental things may happen. But not this soon LORD please.

Tita Glendz, Jas and Marsie arrived at St. Victoria to visit dadi Marlon. Papa Boy thought that Marsie is going to stay at Marikina. I told her that Marsie has to go to school and that her studies should not be affected of any situation that may cause trauma to our daughter.

Marsie talked to her dad and she asked dadi Marlon to eat. Dadi smiled and he tried to eat. He was able to eat some sinigang na bangus and red rice.

Tita Glendz told me that Marsie's behavior changed. Marsie was gazing at something and somewhat at a state of shock.

Marsie asked me, "Mommy bakit maliit braso ni daddy?" I answered, "Kase hindi siya kumakain nang maayos kaya pumapayat siya. Kaya ikaw dapat kumain ka nang maayos para maging healthy ka." Then she looked are her dad and said, "Kase dadi kumain ka na."

Tita Glendz talked to dadi Marlon. She assured dadi Marlon that each and everyone of us will take turn in taking good care of him. And that he's going to stay with them at their house and not at our house so that even the kids (Jas, Sarah and Marsie) could take good care of him all the time. Papa and Mama will also take good care of him.

Dadi Marlon tried to talk even though he's got a hard time to speak. He thanked tita Glendz and went back to sleep.

January 24, 2010

Marlon was out of the hospital. During his stay at the hospital, I was able to administer his balancing instead of the medicines prescribed by Doctor Cruz (Regeron and Heracline Forte).

Marlon requested to bring him in Bulacan at my brother's house right after he was discharged from St. Victoria.

Ate Mimi and Papa Boy took us back home in Bulacan using the Honda City. Ate Mimi drove the car. On our way home, Marlon was very impatient and keeps on pounding the car every stops we've made.

As we arrived at Junix' house, he smiled at my brother and at tita Glendz and requested to lie down to take a rest. His sofa bed was all set and he was happy to be back home.

Papa Boy and Ate Mimi bade us goodbye and asked me and my family to take care of Marlon. Ate Mimi handed me P100 for Marlon's needs. I thanked her then they left.

Marlon's NEW LIFE has begun when he went back home in Bulacan. Everyone of us were involed to take good care of him. Papa used to watch over him at night while I'm at work. Mama was the one looking after his food and medicines. Tita Glendz took her turn to watch over him when mama is doing something. Junix was in charged to play Christian music over and over again to enlighten Dadi's spirit. I used to change Marlon's diaper and making him comfortable everyday. I make sure that his food are available for mama and tita glendz to serve him when I'm away. I talked to him all the more. We prayed together all the more during these days. I read the Bible to him and assured of God's love for him. I even opened SALVATION once again and that assured him that God is going to take good care of everything for all of us. I kept on telling him that I love him so much.

January 31, 2010

Today is my day off and this is my last night with Marlon that he was still alive. I could still remember I was so tired at that time. I wasn't able to sleep because Marlon was very hard head-head and having some tantrums. He asked for cold water most of the time at 30 minutes interval. He asked for Vita Plus and it should be cold. He was able to eat but after one bite he would refuse to eat for the 2nd bite. He just want to drink and drink a lot of cold water. He was talkative and restless. While he was sleeping, I lied down next to him. When he woke up, he fell off and landed on top of me. He was too heavy and I asked Junix to help me.

He asked for toothbrush and toothpaste. I helped him and complemented him that he looks good and smells like a baby. He smiled and laughed. After a while he asked again for a toothbrush and a toothpaste at 3am. He kept on asking for toothbrush and toothpaste over and over again until 7am. He was looking for his papa Boy and ate Mimi. My papa told him that they are in Marikina. He asked me to clean his face. He picked his nose and cleaned his hands. He kept on kissing me and saying "I love you" a lot of times. He was telling happy stories that happened in the past.

February 1, 2010

I hate to leave Marlon in that state but I have to be strong and go back to work the normal way as it used to be.

February 2, 2010

7:00am - Mama assisted Dadi to eat. He was able to finish a slice of papaya without struggling. Papa helped dadi to drink milk and water but he's no longer responding.

8:00am - I arrived home from work. I talked to him, hugged him and uttered "I love you" to his ears. I told him that I'm going to give him his favorite juice which is Vita Plus. He was able to drink half of his lock and lock jug.

8:30am - He's no longer asking for water. He keeps on sleeping and not talking. His reflexes and movements are limited. Normally he would ask for water at 10 minute interval but this time he's not.

10:00am - Still he's not able to drink water. I asked mama to prepare him beef liver soup, water with honey and milk. I asked Junix to buy a medicine dropper just to let him take a drink. But as I put on the dropper to his mouth, dadi was just biting it. When I force to put on the milk on his mouth using the dropper, it would just worsen the case. He was choking when I did that so I stopped. I just talked to him and prayed with him. I hugged him several times, kissed him and kept on telling him that we all love him.

I asked Junix to accompany me to look for a doctor who would administer NGT to dadi so that he could eat. I informed dadi Marlon about my plan to look for a doctor for his NGT. His faced turned stiff showing that he disliked the idea. But still, Junix and I went ahead to look for a doctor. Unfortunately, Junix and were not successful in finding one. We just went back home and I prayed in my heart to give me peace and wisdom on how to handle this situation.

Junix and I went back home. Dadi pas peacefully sleeping so I just took a short nap. I was holding his hand while I took the short nap. When I woke up, I saw he was holding his wedding ring on his right hand. I changed his diaper.

I asked dadi if he wants me to sing his favorite song. He just nodded his head slightly so I sang "Isang Bagay". The lyrics goes like this...

"Isang bagay ang hinihiling sa Panginoon. Ito ang hinahanap... Ito ang ninanais, na ako ay manirahan sa kanyang kaharian sa lahat ng araw ng aking buhay upang masdan and kagandahan ng panginoon at hanapin siya sa templo niyang banal"

Junix sang it with me. After awhile it was only me singing because Junix can't help it, he cried. I sang the song again softly in his ears - teary eyed. I knew that it's his time NOW to be with the Lord. I kept on reminding him about his Salvation. That he need not to be afraid. God is waiting for him in HEAVEN.

11:00am - Still dadi was not asking for water or anything.... Still I kept on trying to give him a drink though I knew that it's gonna be useless.

12:00pm - Took a quick lunch and went back beside dadi.. talking with him... praying with him.

1:00pm - Junix and I tried to check at the lying in for a dotor for dadi's NGT. Still no doctor available. We went back to Las Palmas and asked for Mang Neri son who is a nurse. But he was not around either.

2:00pm - Marlon's eyes keeps on dropping some tears. Kept on telling him that we all love him. Marsie and I loves him so much that I'm proud of him. I told him that he's the bravest person I've ever met. He was brave enough to face his battle and that he's man enough to face his Creator.

2:15pm - His eyes started to cloud. I texted kuya Third immediately that Marlon could leave anytime now.

2:20pm - Kuya Third called me up and just had a brief talk with him. I asked him to let papa Boy and ate Mimi know about Marlon's condition.

2:24pm - Papa called me outside while talking with kuya Third. He said the moment I turned back to answer Third's call, Marlon took a deep breath and never took another one. Papa said he just waited if dadi will take his 2nd breath but he didn't that's why he called my attention.

Marlon's time has come to be with the Lord. Even up to his last breath he always wants to see I'm ok. He didn't want me to see that he's leaving. He left peacefully. He wanted to make sure that I'll be ok when he's gone. I cried as I checked on his pulse, his heartbeat and his breath. His eyes was clouded but half opened. So i have to close his eyes and close his mouth while his body is till soft. Junix helped me in tying his his head with a hanky to lock his jaw. I was crying but I was at peace for I knew that he left in GOD's perfect time.

3:00pm - I have to compose myself and face the next step. Junix and I went to Immaculate Conception Funeral Home. By faith, I reserved the funeral service worth P19,000. Tita Glendz helped me to contact an agent of AMMAN Park for Marlon's interment. Again by faith, I reserved a lawn for dadi worth P16,000. I took all these responsibilities by faith.

3:30pm - The Immaculate Conception Funeral Service to take dadi's corpse. It was very timely because Marsie just arrived from school. She saw that her dad was lifeless and was taken by the funeral service out of the house. Marsie was crying. She knew that her dad was gone. I rushed back inside to give Marsie a hug. I explained to her that dadi has gone with the Lord already to become an angel to watch over us.

5:00pm - Marlon's corpse was brought back at Junix's houese where Marlon's wake will be held for one week. Marsie can't look at her dad's corpse. She was crying most of the time. She was at the state of shock as everybody else was.

February 3, 2010

Papa Boy and ate Mimi came. I told them what happened from the time they left us until his very last breath. Ate Mimi and Papa Boy were crying so loud. Mammoth and Daye were crying too. Papa Boy that he will take care of the Funeral Service Fee and ate Mimi will take care of the Interment.

My team mates Palauns and other Aussie agents came too: AA, Mae, Cali, Mavic, mami Ruby, Ad, Garro, Joyce, Bernz&Gamz, Sarah (Bernz' sis)

February 4, 2010

Marlon's relative came: Angge, Tito Manolo, Lily, etc. Emerald boys came too. Algerian came as well: TL Aris, Sam, Andie, AA with Jowa

When Marlon's relatives arrived I was very upset hearing Angge saying on my back that I didn't took care of Marlon's Funeral. Her words are "Bakit naman ganito pinabayaan lang and libing?"

I've heard a lot and have endured all these. I want to pay Marlon some respect. And I need not to defend myself because I knew very well deep down in my heart that MARLON has seen everything in HEAVEN. I know that Marlon knew EVERY motives of everyone who's visiting his wake.

February 5, 2010

Seychelles came: (TL Nes, Apple, Ella, Che, Hannah, Iris, Liz) as well as Jijie, Myk, Avie with her famiiy, Edd Gloria, Gian and Paulo, Maryann Wong with her special someone.

February 6, 2010

Early this morning more guests were coming. Team of TL Noli came: Gelu, Vanie, CM, Gretz, Mau, Abee, Ole and Denese.

Mañanita for Marlon was held. It was organized by papa Boy together with the rest of Kursilyo Brothers and Sisters. This is the very day that the LORD has made. And this is the very day that all of our prayers has been answered.

First, God has healed his cancer during his last days. And now he's gone with the Lord and his cancer vanished. Secondly, this is the day when God is going to mend broken relationships amongst us. No matter how painful it has caused me, I still need to forgive and love them anyway.

The Lord has answered our prayers to fulfill his purpose in saving more souls and to display God's greater glory. Bro. Alex was the one who officiated Marlon's Funeral Service. God was very good and his power has no limit. Initially, papa Boy wanted to held Mañanita first before Bro. Alex would officiate Marlon's funeral service. But it turned out to be Bro. Alex was allowed to speak first before they hold their Mañanita. It was a good movement of the holy spirit to prepare the hearts of people who were present. There were about 100 of them who heard of God's message of salvation, love and forgiveness. Then right after the service of Bro. Alex, more souls were awakened on how fortunate Marlon was to be assured of his salvation.

This is also the day God manifested that he is indeed our Jehovah Jireh. The Lord hsa blessed us and has provided every single needs we have from the smallest detail to the more complex ones.

My family was shaken too by their comments and negative point of view. My brother's patience was tested to deal with Mang Mar. And I was able to see how Pekto has changed. I was able to talk with Pekto and he said that he loves Marlon so much.

Ate Gigi and Jigz came also to show their support to my family. My relatives from Fairview came over as well. They have got to share their own stories on how Marlon's friends and families acted and treated the wake. But it doesn't matter anymore because Marlon is now happy with the Lord.

Whatever ill-feelings I've had in the past has been dealt already. I've learned to hold back my anger and have learned eventually to LOVE them anyway because I believe this is how Marlon wanted it to be.

As I kept on sharing with my friends that I was born for Marlon to take care of him and to love him. And that he was born to make me strong.

I wrote this journal for the purpose of documenting incidents how it happened. I don't mean to hurt anyone. Anything mentioned that could probably hurt anybody was not intentionally meant. I was just being me thinking out loud and expressing my emotions during that time. But has transpired in the past. I'm looking forward now praying and hoping that his journal of Dadi Marlon's Journey to Eternity may serve an inspiration on how he bravely fought his battle and how God has orchestrated everything with a purpose to mend broken relationships.

Palauans came back: TL Aris, JC and Mae.

CGC brethren came too: Haydon, Anna, Estrella, Bong, etc. Thank you for all your prayers, support and love gift.

February 9, 2010

At the Interment (AMMAN Park)

Ad and Sam Tamayo came... My brother's neighbor brought his 10 pigeons at Amman Park and he freed all of them during Marlon's Last Memorial Service that was officiated by Bro. Alex... Thanks to Engr. Cortez who voluntarily lend his bus to accommodate gueest in going to Amman. Thanks to all Marlon's friends who came. Thanks to our neighbors who comforted me when I was unceasingly crying all throughout the Memorial Service. Thanks to all familiy, friends and relatives who came but was not mentioned in this Journal. Thanks to Tanada Family that I have LOVED just as how I loved my husband.

After the Interment, we were all silent as we came back home. The kids were exhausted and they can also feel the sadness in the atmosphere. Sarah who is only 3 years old can simply understand that his Tito Marlon is now her angel to watch over her. Jasmine, who called his Tito Marlon as hi PRINCE. And Marsie, would always remember him as her DAD.

Being me who does not put things in a box noticed how everyone was exhausted. I thought of asking my brothers if they want to go somewhere else to unwind. The kids heard me, my cousins heard me, everybody present in the house heard me asking that question. They were shocked! Silence enveloped the place. Marsie cracked the silence and she said she wants to go out swimming. Then everybody agreed to that idea. In just a matter of 30 minutes we were all ready to pack our things to unwind. We all went to Sitio Lucia.

It was a very sentimental day for me because, Marlon and I have planned to spend summer 2010 at Sitio Lucia because he wanted to see his idol/crush Izzy of Sexbomb. Tears came rolling my eyes. Josie and I went to the cafetorium to buy some chips. It made me cry all the more upon seeing Izzy together with the cast of Daisy Siete inside the cafetorium. I looked at her. I smiled at her and she smiled back.

As everybody was having fun, we all can't help it but pause some short silence as we all remember Marlon. Our conversations were full of his memories. Ate Maribel and her daughter shared their moments with Marlon. My brothers has got so many things to say about him. Even the kids have joined us and shared their moments with their tito. Marsie shared her bonding moments with Dadi.

THE END

How are You Doing Now?

2010-07-21T07:02:00.000-07:00

Here are several questions for you to answer and find out how were you doing lately. This is fun. Please copy paste your answers in the comment box below. Thanks.

Who was your last text from?

Where was your default pic taken?

Your relationship status?

Have you ever lost a close friend?

What is your current mood?

What's your brother(s)/sister(s) names?

Have you ever been torn between two lovers?

Where do you wish you were right now?

Have a crazy side?

Have you ever had a near death experience.

Something you do a lot?

Angry at anyone?

When was the last time you cried?

Is there anyone you would do anything for?

What do you think about when you are falling asleep?

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?

What is your favorite song?

What are you doing right now?

Who do you trust right now?

Who do you love right now?

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?

Have you kissed someone in the past week?

Who was the last person who gave you a hug?

Who are your friends that live closest to you?

Describe your life in one word:

Who are you thinking of right now?

What should you be doing right now?

What are you listening to?

Who was the last person who yelled at you?

What is your natural hair color?

Who was the last person you ate with?

Who was the last person to make you laugh?

Who was the last person to make you sad?

What do you hear?

Is your hair curly or straight?

Do you have a best friend?

Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days?

Do you use smiley faces on the computer?

Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?

Are you happy with life right now?

Are you currently jealous?

What jewelry are you currently wearing?

What were you doing Friday night?

Have you ever had your heart broken?

Have you ever broken someone's heart?

Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?

What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?

How late did you stay up last night and why?

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?

Getting to Know Me

2010-07-12T21:52:00.000-07:00

Getting to Know Me and My Family Sunday, June 13, 2010 at 5:09am Dear Friend,

I just want to share this to you. I wrote this to a friend who wants to know more about me. And I guess you deserve to know more about me as well.

Here it goes...

I believe that in friendship, getting to know each other is the basic element of building it strong and making it fun and exciting. I guess I should introduce my family to you. I grew up in a very simple family. My father is a driver and my mom is a domestic helper. Both of them are care taker of a "Christian Chinese Church" in Manila. They both have a simple abode in the church where the raise their children. I'm the eldest and I have 2 brothers. I salute my parents for sending us to good schools that's why our values and spirituality molded us to become tough amidst life's challenges.

Sending me to college was the hardest thing for my parents to do. So what I did, I applied for a scholarship and I was able to make it for 2 years. And the rest, I was a working student. I studied in one of the famous universities here in the Philippines which is University of Santo Tomas. It was founded on April 28, 1611. I took up Bachelor of Science in Business Administration.

After my scholarship has lapsed due to my grades went low, I became a Private Tutor for academics and piano lessons. I took that career for 10 years. I love teaching so much and I love kids so much. But I got burned out teaching so I switched career as a Call Center Analyst. My first Call Center job was with American Express. I was in Collections as a Credit Analyst. Then I went with Federal Housing Aid as a Supervisor for 6 months. It was a finished contract so I am now with Stellar Global Solutions Philippines as a Communications assistant. I'm in my 5th year working in a Call Center Industry.

I got married on Oct. 19, 2001. I gave birth to my first daughter on Sept. 1, 2003. My husband was diagnosed with colon cancer stage 3 last July 4, 2010. Upon know that he has a colon cancer, I never gave up on him and never stopped praying for his healing. Our married life was tested and I can say that we were able to overcome all the humps and bumps. We experienced having nothing left in our pocket to buy for his medications. All we got is a "praying hand" and "bended knees" to kneel down and ask for God's provision, guidance and comfort.

My husband's immediate family were not supportive in terms of taking care of him physically. They lack support in LOVE and CARE in which my husband was disappointed about it. During the days when he was sick, there's no one from his family members nor relatives visited him in our house just to check on him if he's ok. It was just ME and my family helped him overcome his PAIN and SORROWS. After his hospitalization, he went back home in September 2009. He got disappointed and loose his drive to fight his cancer when his relatives didn't visited him last Christmas of 2009 and they didn't even visited him during his birthday on Dec. 29, 2009. So he asked me, "please bring me to my father's house in Marikina. If they can't afford to visit the sick, I will visit them who are well and healthy". His statement was strong and full of regrets. So I acted upon it immediately and sent him to Marikina as he requested last Jan. 14, 2010. I went with him, packed my things up to stay wherever he is so that I could take care of his needs. At this time, his cancer cells became inactive and he was able to gain his strength. As a matter of fact he hasn't got fever anymore after the hospitalization because the "herbal" medication worked well for him.

He has an open close surgery. Doctors just opened his tummy and closed it back because the "mass" was too big to be removed. He will not be able to make it if they would remove that mass. So the doctors made a colostomy on his tummy (where he used to discharge feces, an opening where part of his intestines was taken out to discharge bowel). I used to clean his colostomy regularly. I have to check on it on a daily basis. His daily routine was going to the bathroom more often at night so as to discharge he has eaten during the day. Even he was sick, I never stopped going to work as it is our bread and butter and I need it to support his needs, to pay our bills and to send our daughter to school.

The toughest role I have to perform was to balance on how to be a mother and a wife. But honestly speaking, I was never a mother to our daughter. It was a WIFE all throughout the days when he was suffering from his cancer. I asked help from my parents to watch over my husband when I'm at work. Then after work, I have to rush to the market to buy organic food to feed my husband as we are following the WELLNESS treatment rather the chemo therapy. Then I will prepare his meals, prepare his herbal medications, clean his colostomy, talk to him in a daily basis with what's happening (maintaining my composure to become tough), have good laughs with him, sing to him his favorite Christian song (Still: by Hillsongs) and prayed with him especially when PAIN would attack him badly. Then, after making sure that he was ok and my daughter has eaten and have done her school works, that's the only time I can sleep a bit.

After the POWER NAP, I then go to work, rush back home, do the routine chores and so on and so forth. For 7 long months that was my routine with the help of my parents, my brothers and my sisters in law. He was never neglected and we all experienced doing extra mile efforts for him. Every time he went to the bathroom, somebody has to be aware to see that he was ok even though he can manage to do so.

But on our second day of stay in Marikina, right after work when I got back home he was crying and asked me to buy him adult diapers. I asked him why. He said, "my sister and my dad said that I was disturbing their sleep at night every time I go to the bathroom. Mimi said that you should buy me adult diapers so that I will no longer go the backroom more often at night and I will not disturb their sleep anymore".

He was not bedridden, he can manage to walk around and yet his sister recommended an adult diaper for him. But that's what he hated most - to wear an adult diaper. Because he doesn't want to feel bad that he can no longer do things normally. What I did, I just comforted him and tried to turn things upside down. Turning bad moments into something BRIGHTER to look at. I comforted him with these words: "Dadi, don't worry you will only wear diapers when I'm not around. But I will make sure that you don't use diapers when I get back from work. Aren't you glad wearing diapers? It will save your energy in going back and forth in the comfort room. You are going to use that energy to walk with me in the morning when I got back from work." He liked the idea and was very excited to look forward to seeing me home to walk him around in the garage.

Knowing that he is a cancer patient, he is prone to being sensitive emotionally. He regretted so much and got disappointed when his own flesh and blood can't give him the kind of love and care that my family bestowed upon him.

One week has past during our stay in Marikina, dadi Marlon refused to eat anymore and didn't want to talk anymore. He refused to walk anymore and he kept on staying on bed all throughout the day. This is when I worried so much about him. Because, every time I would go to work no one is left to watch over him. His dad wouldn't check on him and his sister would not change his diapers either. As to whatever reason, I never dared to ask why. The only thing I know is that, I am here to help my husband nothing more ... nothing less. There's no room for me to argue with anyone, question no one, and hate no one. Any negative reactions would affect my husband as well. So, I just prayed so hard to give me strength for my HEART to continue LOVING, for my mind to keep on UNDERSTANDING, for my hand to keep on HELPING and for my soul to keep on LIVING.

And on the 2nd week of January, he was hospitalized due to malnutrition and dehydration. That was the toughest time for my husband. He kept on telling me that he can no longer hang on, and that he is giving up. My heart was crying out loud but I don't want him to see my crying. I would only cry out loud where no one is around. Still I have to be tough and used PRAYER as a tool to comfort him and to give me strength. We always see to it that we pray in a daily basis with our hands clasp together. I always make sure that I always tell him "I love you dadi", kiss him everyday, and show my LOVE for him everyday.

(at this time, while writing this - i can't help but cry)

On the 3rd week of January 2010, he pleaded his sister to bring him back to our home in Bulacan. His dad and his sister was startled. Wondering why he would prefer going back to Bulacan when he is INDEED at HOME where he used to live. So, his sister drove us back to Bulacan. To their surprise, dadi Marlon was very excited going back in Bulacan and he requested to stay at my brother's house because my sister in law asked him to stay with them so that they would have a chance to look after him as well. They all promised him that they would take good care of him.

(i can hardly see... tears are continuously running down my cheeks)

When we finally reached my brother's home (Junix), we was happy and kept on telling my sister in law that he will eat well and he will behave well. He keeps on gesturing a "thumbs up" to Junix with a wink. He laughed and played with my father and asked my mom to pray with him when I am at work. He hugged and kissed our lovely daughter Marsie and played with my 2 nieces Sarah and Jasmine. He joked around with my brother Rowell and had a nice chat with my uncle Martin and aunt Peria. He teased on my cousins Jerson and Anne. These were the happiest moments of dadi Marlon before he left.

And the most touching moment my family had with Marlon was the last 2 nights before he left. Everybody was awake because he was awake and kept on talking about anything he can think of. He laughed with us if he's telling something silly. He asked me to give him a bathe. He cleaned his nose and brushed his teeth. He asked me several times to change his diapers. He kept on kissing me several times... and he kept on saying "I love you" several times.

On the night before he left I was at work. When I went home, Junix told me that dadi Marlon was singing the song of Don Moen "Thank you Lord" as it keeps on playing in the Media Player together with other christian songs which are his favorites. Mama also has a story to share with me that dadi Marlon was able to finish up his slice of papaya in which normally he only eats 3 spoonfuls. My father has his story to tell as well. He said that he can hardly swallow and he can hardly drink. I rushed down to his side, took his hand and talked to him. My father said that since I left last night he never talked at all. Despite what my father told me, I still tried to talk to him. I asked him what he wanted to drink. I asked if he wants Milk with Honey, cold water or Vita Plus. When I mentioned Vita Plus, he nodded his head. He was able to finish up about 400ml. That was around 8am.

Normally, dadi would ask for cold water every 30 minutes. But it was passed 9am, he was not asking for water. Marsie was about to go to school. I asked her to give daddy a hug and a kiss. Dadi Marlon hugged her tightly. I asked dadi what he liked. I asked if he wants me to sing his favorite tagalog christian song, then he nodded. I sang the song and Junix sang it with me. Junix was crying while singing with me. I was crying too. I saw dadi doing some gestures telling me to repeat the song loudly. So I asked Junix to sing it again with me loudly.

I was very worried about him, I took out his milk with honey, beef liver soup, cold water and vita plus. Alternately I would put onto his mouth with a straw for him to have a drink. He has his reflex to sip it but his effort is not enough to have a drink. He was too weak to sip. I was very worried about his condition, I was thinking of looking for a nurse or a doctor to put on NGT to feed him because he's no longer eating. Once again I talked to him asking his permission to look for a nurse or doctor to put on NGT to feed him. He reacted violently. Although he was not talking but his facial expression could tell me he doesn't like it. Despite of him disagreeing with me, I still insist and asked Junix to help me find a doctor or a nurse. Before we left, I talked to daddy teary eyed. This time, I didn't hid my tears. I kept telling him that I love him so much. I prayed for him... then I prayed with him...... I asked God to give him a good rest when the right time comes. I asked God to forgive us... and asked God to remove all his PAIN when the right time comes. While I was praying, daddy was crying and he was holding me tight. No words... just tears..... Seeing him that way, I sent a text message to his cousin Third stating that daddy Marlon is showing signs that he is letting go. Right after sending the message in less than a minute, my phone rung and it was Third. When I stood up, my dad took turn in watching over dadi Marlon. Right after stepping out of the house just enough to say hello to Third, my dad called my attention and asked me to check on the pulse of Marlon. My dad said, as soon as I stood up, Dadi Marlon took his last breath.

I checked on his pulse, heartbeat and breath - it was confirmed that finally he's gone with the Lord happily. It was a sweet death because he did not suffer any pain or any discomfort. He was just sleeping.

(i'm being emotional at this time... still crying)

Junix and I went to the nearest funeral parlor and fixed his funeral service and burial. Marlon's friends Pastor Noel and Pastor Alex helped us out to get a discount from the funeral service.

Marsie came home from school. She saw that her dad was no life at all and was about to be taken out of the house for embalment. She was traumatized and was crying so hard. She kept on saying, "daddy are you dead, why are you dead, aren't you coming back, why?" I took her around my arms, I explained to her that daddy is going up in heaven to stay with the Lord, and that daddy will become an angel to watch over us. She understood what I said and stopped crying momentarily. I asked mom to watch over her as I need to go with the funeral service in charge.

There's a lot more things happened and I'll cut it short this way. The Lord has helped my family to become Marlon's FAMILY as if we were his OWN. More importantly, we were able to make him happy and was able to show forth the love and care he needs.

My apologies if I shared about my husband's loss in a very lengthy email. I hope you didn't get tired of reading it as I believe you should know this. Sharing you about this will let you know me and my family. Please feel free to ask anything if you have something in mind. Just as you said honesty will break the wall and can start friendship between us.

Take care and God bless, SuZi

My FB Posts and Comments

2010-07-10T06:37:00.000-07:00

Posted on August 14, 2010 (Sat - 10:57pm)

How to Find and Interpret Your Life Number

www.stepbystepdirections.com

I don't really believe in this but it's fun to find out what is your life number. My birth date is 01 02 1974. To find out my Life Number, add 01 + 02 + 1 + 9 + 7 + 4 = 24. Then add digits 2 + 4 to obtain a one-digit Life Number. So in my case the answer is 6. As I looked up and read my result I was surprised. I would agree to that result and it's really ME. I love nurturing people, taking good care of people especially those who are dear to me. So to all skeptics out there, why don't you just try it. And just try to check out your own result. Maybe, what it has to tell about you is true.

Posted on August 14, 2010 (Sat - 10:57pm)

How to Intepret Dreams

www.stepbystepdirections.com

When talking about dreams it makes me listen attentively to what people may share about it. I want to listen what are their dreams. As for me, every time I dreamed I have this difficulty in "talking" and saying WORDS out loud. But in most of my dreams I can fly, I can ran fast, I can swim and can breath for long hours under water. There are times that I dreamed of people that I haven't seen yet - mostly the dead people. First was when I dreamed about the deceased brother of my late husband. He was telling me to take good care of Marlon (my late husband). True enough, my late husband got sick of colon cancer. I was with him all throughout his agony and was able to take good care of him even up to his last breath. And the 2nd dream I've had was just recently. I was able to talk with the late mom of my boyfriend. She was telling me to LOVE him and make him feel that he's being LOVED. It feels so real that every time I have this ill-feelings toward my boyfriend it's easily being managed. It seems like my heart has grown big to understand him and love him all the more in spite of his imperfections. I believe that our dreams are connecting us from the past, at the present and to the future. It may also lead and guide us to our destiny in order to orchestrate our fate.

Posted on August 14, 2010 (Sat - 10:05pm)

Overcoming Inferiority Complex

www.stepbystepdirections.com

Overcoming inferiority complex is as easy as ABC. It is knowing your strengths and weaknesses. By so knowing your strengths and weaknesses you are able to determine along the way how to improve your interpersonal relationship with other people.

Posted on August 8, 2010 (time: 9:10am)

"Mind your own business and make money in any decent way. Grab the OT's and take advantage of the FREE online jobs being offered. It just takes a lot of PATIENCE, DILIGENCE and good sense of HUMOR. Why good sense of HUMOR? Because you will need it if you ran out of PATIENCE. Does it make sense?"

Posted on July 13, 2010

‎' __ ' TIME to be silent. 0 , 0 TIME to observe. yes... observe "everything"...... i just learned it's a happy feeling to just listen and observe... and BE STILL for a moment.... The calmness of your heart will give you STRENGTH to carry on.

Posted on July 10, 2010

* Time usually make things pass to TEST the genuine love, trust and faithfulness of every "relationship" that surrounds us. It is accompanied by FIRE which causes pain in each one's heart. But this FIRE will soon make GEMS that will come out shining under the TEST of TIME.

* Marsie is so funny: bumili sya ng stick O. sabi nya sa akin "mommy, ayaw ko talga ung stick O na green pangit lasa. UPO flavor pangit ng lasa"... sumakit tyan ko sa kakatawa.

FROM: MAHAL KITA, MANHID KA LANG.

* ‎TO SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP, ATTEMPT A GOOD COMMUNICATION July 5 at 9:14am

* OPEN YOUR HEART AND I WILL SHARE MINE July 2 at 11:50pm

* MAHAL KITA, KAYA KAHIT NASASAKTAN NA AKO TILA MANHID NA ANG PUSO KO. MAS PIPILIIN KO PA RING MAHALIN KA KESA IWANAN KA. July 2 at 2:11pm

* Sa pag-ibig, laging magkasama ang sakit at sarap...kasiyahan at kalungkutan. Ganunpaman, sa pag-ibig mahiwaga ito lalo na kapag nanahan sa PUSO ninuman. June 29 at 2:33pm

* MINSAN SA SOBRANG EMO HINDI NA NAKAKATUWA. June 26 at 7:33pm

* I don't want to let you go, but you are letting me go. June 25 at 10:57pm

* IS IT OVER - By: Nina

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxEW7QLajDA

Lately, you and I haven't been talking Lately, you and I were not connecting for real. You seem so far away, distant and lost in a haze

Lately, I've been doing much thinking Wonderin' if it's a phase that you're going through My love is here to stay but you are drifting away

Chorus: Tell me Is it over now? Between you and me Is it time to let go now? And set our hearts free Is it over now Between you and me If love's gone away Baby please just tell me

Forever, didn't we promise we'd stay Never, to go on our separate ways I need to hear you say is this the end of our days?

(repeat chorus 2x)

Coda: If your heart's flown away if love's gone away Baby please just tell me

ΘSuZi June 25 at 11:02pm

* Pagkatapos ng malakas na UNOS, ipahinga mo lang yan.... Asahan mo bukas sa bukangliwayway may magandang pag-asa na naghihintay sa iyo. Mapagtatanto rin ng MANHID na taong mahal mo na mahiwaga ang pag-ibig. Dahil sa kabila ng kanyang kamanhiran, siya ay mahal mo pa rin. June 22 at 7:25pm

* LESSON IN LOVE: Huwag mong isasasambulat agad lahat ng galit mo sa pamamagitan ng pagsabi ng masasakit na mga salita. Hayaan mo munang humupa ang galit mo bago ka uli magsalita. Dahil hindi mo alam kung ano ang mga pwede mong masira kapag nagsalita ka na may GALIT ka pa sa puso at isip mo. June 21 at 6:25pm

* wag mo muna sabihin hangga't hindi ka pa handa na makita kung ano ang magiging reaction nya kapag sinabi mo na mahal mo sya ng higit pa sa kaibigan. ΘSuZi June 21 at 2:44am

* sabi ng PUSO ko: "ang sakit naman ng ginawa mo". sabi ng UTAK ko: "gusto kitang gantihan". sabi ng kaluluwa ko: "ipagdarasal kitang lagi pagkat mahal kita". June 20 at 12:18pm

* Siguro pag napagod na ako.... balewala pa rin sa iyo. magsalita ka naman... mhirap manghula kung ano ba talga nararamdaman mo. June 16 at 2:46pm

* That sounds getting tired in a relationship... Try to REST for a while.. think it over and over again... Then try to evaluate what you're feeling again and again. July 5 at 9:18am

* sinasabi mong mahal mo ako, pero bakit kapag sinasabi mo iyon hindi tumatagos sa puso ko? ako ba ang may problema or may problema sa iyo? SAGOT: lack of communication. try to get a good timing to TALK it OUT. July 5 at 9:17am

* ndi ko alam kung nararamdaman mong mahal kita... o wala ka lang pakialam sa nararamdaman ko sayo.. awayin na lang kaya kita baka mas may maramdaman ka pa. June 4 at 1:56pm

* ndi talga ako mahilig mangaway dahil mahaba ang psensya ko... pero tao lang din ako... may hangganan. Pero bkit kapag gusto na kitang awayin.. ndi ko magawa? Dito p rin ako sa tabi mo pilit na iniintindi ka.... pero pag dumating ang time na wala na talaga. Baka maglaho na rin ako kasama ng KAWALAN. June 16 at 12:38pm

* Mahrap magparamdam sa taong walang pakiramdam. walang pakiramdam o nagmamanhidmanhidan? June 3 at 8:43am

Sweet Good Bye of Dadi Marlon - Tues, February 2, 2010 at 14:34pm

2010-04-02T17:41:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all who prayed, supported and helped marlon. he just left kanina 2:24pm, feb 2, 2010. i was beside him. it was a sweet good bye. he left without pain, God granted our prayers na kapag dumating na ang right time for him with the Lord - na sana walang pain at ndi sya mahirapan at maging panatag ang lahat. His death has a lot of touching moments in the lives of the people who witnessed his battle. His salvation has shaped him well:

S - spirit H - heart A - ability P - personality E - experience

to God be the glory that his LIFE has been a testimony of God's love, God's power, God's forgiveness and God's greatness (p> thanks to all friends, family and brethren who's been with us in prayers for Marlon. Now that he's with the LORD, he's happy now. He's th bravest MAN i knew that at the last 3 days of his life he stopped grumbling about his PAINS. Instead, he learned to surrender his life to our LORD.

My message for dadi Marlon;

i love you dadi until the last days of your life. even during the last minutes of your life we were together. I've witness your sufferings and your sweet good bye. Indeed, the Lord has answered our prayers to give you strength to face the pain and not quit.... to grant you a MIRACLE to heal you so that others may see how God works in you... and to grant you a sweet good bye time without PAIN, being HAPPY and READY to face GOD.

dadi, we have witnessed how GOD works in our lives. We've struggled a lot for your medications but only God is our Jehovah Jireh our great provider. You've lived your life to the fullest and God really loves you, that in your NOTHINGNESS He is your everything. The Lord provides everything from scratch.

dadi, maraming nagmamahal sa iyo kaya kahit salat tayo sa materyal, mayaman ang PUSO mo.

dadi, salamat din sa lahat ng alaala mo. I love you so much. I was really born for you... to take good care of you. and you were born for me....... to prepare me on how to become strong. Our faith in God was tested. And may GOD's GLORY be seen in every AREAS of our lives.

PRAY in all POSITIONS at any TIME and ANYWHERE

2009-11-30T05:11:00.000-08:00

My husband has a colon cancer and he's now at stage 3. Marriage is indeed through thick and thin, in richer or poorer, in SICKNESS or in health, till DEATH do us part...

I can't help it but share with you what I'm undergoing right now. for me it's a sigh of relief whenever E share to anyone how God has been very faithful to us even from the very first day we've learned that he has cancer.

We have NOTHING in our HANDS in terms of material or monies. Doctors advised he has to undergo Radiotherapy after his Open-Close Surgery (literally means they just opened his tummy, looked what's inside, then they closed it).

Deep inside me, I know that he's gonna live long than what the doctors told me that he has 4 years to live or less. I had a hard time to tell him honestly his real condition. I kept on kneeling and asking God to give me wisdom on how to handle such a situation.

God is indeed my HELPER in times of NEED, my COMFORTER and FRIEND, my PROVIDER, our HEALER - and our FATHER.

While my husband is in extreme PAIN, the hardest part for me to do is encourage him to THANK GOD amidst his PAIN. And he was very responsive and THANKED GOD for giving him STRENGTH to bear the PAIN and for giving him a STRONG SPIRIT to GO ON. This is how we started our prayer life together as husband and wife....then as a FAMILY....

First instance we prayed together WHOLEHEARTEDLY in TEARS, he was lying in bed crying out so loud in PAIN while I was kneeling right beside him holding his hands...

Then he was seated with less pain while I was kneeling right beside him holding his hands...

Then he was seated straight without pain while I was sitting right beside him holding his hands...

Then he was standing up without pain while I was standing next to him holding his hands....

Then both of us seated at a breakfast table with our 6 year old daughter, still thanking GOD.

Now, since he's no longer capable of working I'm now the sole bread winner in the family...

Financially, it's a BURDEN for me to handle such a great need to provide food in the table, provide for his needs, my needs and our daughter's needs. But it was never been a STRUGGLE when it comes to finances, because we were being strengthened by our DAILY PRAYERS to help us to be STRONG in FAITH and to have WISDOM on how to deal with our daily NEEDS. And we've learned SACRIFICE is the key to make us live. My daughter has experienced SACRIFICE as well at her tender age. We've learned to CUT DOWN WANTS and prioritize NEEDS above all things.

Hope this short story of mine makes your day SMILE and THANK GOD too for whatever YOU STILL HAVE. God bless you!

God's BIG Hand

2009-09-04T07:45:00.000-07:00

God's hand has never gone short in showing forth his glory. Marlon was diagnosed with Colon Cancer last July 4, 2009. The doctors advised surgery as soon as possible to prevent the widespread of the cancer cells to differenct parts of his body. In times like these, we can no longer imagine how are we going to survive it. Knowing the fact that our finances are short and it's gonna be hard for us to accept it.

July 4, 2009 - I attended the Star Wars Sports Fest Opening 2009 of Stellar Global Solutions Philippines. I participated the Pump It Up dance contest to represent the Blue Team Pegasus. We won! I really enjoyed the Dance Revolution arcade with Randy, Ole, CM, etc. I also tried wall climbing with Joyce and Amy. Marsie, Mammoth and Daye were supposed to be with me at the opening unfortunately, Marlon was very sick by then and I have to cut my time with my friends. My officemates Garo, Randy and Roma gave me their food stamps for Marsie. It was fun and we had picture taking with TM Nes, Mae, Andie, Sam and TM Nes' son. While having fun, I've been receiving text messages from Marlon that he's asking to me go home before lunch time. I just maximized my time with my friends and had a little talk with Apple about Marlon's condition. She comforted me and I cried on her shoulders because I knew that when I get back home in Marikina, I would be facing a more serious problem.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2012380&id=1082629167&op=12#/photo.php?pid=30216490&id=1082629167 (to be continued)

Being a Relay Operator

2009-03-15T20:45:00.000-07:00

I completed the training for IP Relay for 4 weeks and 5 days. It was a hard training but easy. Ironic, right? Anyways, the training was hard because everyday we have to deal with various challenges that we need to learn and survive each day to complete the 4 weeks and 5 days in order to become a certified Relay Operator. Everyday is a make or break situation. But at last, out of 28 in our wave, there are only 11 of us who made it. Whew, that was something!

When we get to the floor after our certification, the challenges we faced during the nesting ground was no longer a pain in a neck. We already get used to it to saying the words we don't usually say like SUCK MY DICK, FUCK YOU MOTHAFUCKER, FAGGOT, etc. Hahaha! Yes, I am saying those words now as often as everyday believe it or not.

Through relay i was able to learn some American Sign Language and ASL gloss. Want some example?

no bother i happy now work easy
i fine me go work at night and get call call from hearing impaired
that we be fine if you not know relay
expalain please relay
peter hit john
me go work finish go salon and eat

Isn't it very interesting to learn and understand ASL Gloss? But to balance, we also need to know how to communicate correctly and properly.

Do It Yourself by RevNoel of Singapore

2008-12-09T15:08:00.000-08:00

You have not glorified the God who holds your life-breath in His hand and who controls the whole course of your life. - DANIEL 5:23

Most Christians do not pant after God in the way the psalmist described in Psalm 42:1. Now I must attempt to make clear what I mean.

First, let me pull into focus the major problem with which we all struggle as soon as we are born. When God created us in the beginning, He designed us to have a relationship with Him. This means that deep within our being is a thirst for God which will not go away. It can be ignored, disguised, misunderstood, wrongly labeled, or submerged underneath a wealth of activity, but it will not disappear. And for good reason. We were designed to enjoy something better than this world can give us, particularly in the sphere of relationships. No human relationship can satisfy in the way that a relationship with God does.

This deep thirst for God that resides within us makes us dependent on God for satisfaction, and that is something our sinful human nature deeply resents. You see, due to Adam and Eve's sin in the garden of Eden, we have all been left a legacy called "Do It Yourself."

There is something within every single one of us that wants to take charge and have a hand in bringing about our own salvation. So here is the problem: facing the fact realistically that we inwardly thirst after God puts us in touch with a level of helplessness from which our sinful human nature shrinks. It reinforces the conviction that we are dependent on someone outside of ourselves for satisfaction. And that is something we don't care to acknowledge.

Herbalife is DSAP member

2008-12-04T22:54:00.000-08:00

http://www.dsap.ph/directory ---> Herbalife is DSAP member

Definition of Direct Selling and MLM versus Pyramiding

"Direct Selling necessitates the employment of a considerable number of people to effectively carry out the marketing and production activities of these companies. Consequently, not only will additional sales personnel be hired but factory workers as welll. As a result, the direct selling sector has the potential to bring additional revenues to the government"
Former Trade Unersecretary Ernesto M. Ordonez in a letter to Vicente A. Galang, Former Presidential Staff Director, quoted in DSAP supplement, Philippine Daily Inquirer, August 28, 1995
"The growing popularity of direct selling manifests the Filipino spirit of enterprise and self-reliance and the willingness as well to succeed and participate in the development of the country"
Former President Fidel V. Ramos, Sunday Inquirer Magazine, August 31, 1997
"The best protection of consumers against these get-rich-quick schemes is information. With this (anti-pyramiding) campaign, DSAP will teach their members how to spot pyramiding scams. These members will, in turn, share such know-how during their training of prospective direct sellers"
Undersecretary Adrian Cristobal, BusinessWorld, p.2, March 24, 2004

How to differentiate a legitimate direct selling company from pyramiding using the 8-point Test

1. Is there a product?
2. Are commissions paid on sale of products and not on registration/entry fees?
3. Is the intent to sell a product not a position?
4. Is there no direct correlation between the number of recruits and compensation?
5. If recruitment were to be stopped today, will the participants still make money?
6. Is there a reasonable product return policy?
7. Do products have fair market value?
8. Is there a compelling reason to buy?
If the answer to all the questions is YES, then the company being evaluated is a legitimate company. But if the answer is NO, then there is a high probability that it is a pyramid scam.

Christmas Is A Time To Love

2008-11-26T23:56:00.000-08:00

Papalapit na ang pasko. Muli ko na naman narinig ang kantang ito: Christmas is a Time to Love

Chorus:
Christmas is a time, Christmas is a time
Christmas is a time to love
(Repeat 2x)

Maybe things don't sound right
Or look the way the should
And maybe they're not perfectly in tune
It really doesn't matter
Just look our eyes above
Coz Christmas is a time to love

Ang pasko ay isang masayang okasyon na sabi ng iba ay para sa bata lang. Pero sa totoo lang ang pasko ay para sa lahat. Lahat tyo dito sa Pilipinas ay ramdam ito. Christmas Party dito at Christmas Party doon. Reunion dito at reunion doon. Ito rin ang panahon na nararamdaman nating bumibigat ang ating timbang at nagkakaroon ng extra bilbil sa tagilira. Ito kse ang pinakamasarap na okasyon sa loob ng isang taon.

Gayunpaman, salamat na lamang at meron na akong pananggalang sa mga party at tsibugan na aking dadaluhan. Sa wakas at ndi na ako mangangambang muli na naman akong tataba at magkaka hypertension uli. Thanks to my friend Coach Bea who's been very patient with me and has helped me to be into NUTRITION PROGRAM. My health has improved and I am armed with detox drinks to eliminate toxins, metabolism booster to burn fats even without exercise and energy booster to give me energy and vitality all throughout the day.

Want to stay fit and eliminate extra bulges during this holiday season? Ask ME How.
email: susivictanada@yahoo.com
mobile number: 0927-2748372

My Friendly Neighbor's Husband Passed Away

2008-11-16T18:18:00.000-08:00

Just last month, nanay Azing knocked on my door to buy some Fiber and Herb for her husband. We call her husband tatay. During the past few weeks tatay hadn't been moving. So, when tatay took the fiber and herb during lunch time, it was a relief for him when he already moved bowel after some couple of hours.

By the way, I have a Nutrition Club at home where my neighbors can buy their daily Nutritious Meal. Nanay Azing is one of my first customers when I started the Nutrition Club in September. Nanay Azing's health has improved but tatay is refusing to take heed of his doctor's advise.

But thank God, tatay can take the Nutritious Meal in a Shake (choco flavor). Nanay Azing is giving him choco shake 3x a week. Tatay would take it as nanay Azing is telling him that it's just a drink and not a medicine. Choco shake is more than a medicine. It gives him nutrients and energy.

Last week (Nov 9, 2008), I mentioned to nanay Azing that we were having a Bible Study at home every Sunday at 4pm. She was glad to know about it and would want to attend also on the following Sunday.

So yesterday (Nov 16, 2008), before the Bible Study starts I went to nanay Azing's house and invited her to come to our house. She said that Gina her daughter is out and no one is going to take care of tatay. She said that tatay is very week. I stepped inside their house and saw tatay lying down on the matress. He was indeed very weak and can see that he can hardly move and breath. Nanay told me that he's not eating well these past few days. So, I didn't insist her to come with me anymore. I just told pastor Noel and pastor Alex about the situation.

I was introduced to Bro. Dodie (a brethren from Crossroad 77). Sis. Malou (another neighbor of mine) came to our house. Since we're only few, we only discussed about the ministry in Las Palmas. We also tackled the war against principalities of darkness. And finally, I was able to share with Ptr. Noel and Ptr. Alex about my burdern for my father's spirituality and my husband's growthas a Christian. During that time, we also prayed over nanay Azing and her family.

Before Ptr. Alex and Ptr. Noel left, I introduced them to nanay Azing and she said that she will attend the Bible Study next week.

Just this morning while preparing Marsie for school, my husband saw an ambulance outside the house. He sneaked and find out what was happening. To my surprise, my husband told me that tatay died this morning. The reason why Gina was out, tatay forced Gina to go to Caloocan and talk to the funeral parlor to fetch him and prepare his burial. Tatay knew that his time is up. Tatay also told nanay Azing to take care of everything he left. Tatay wanted to have his wake at Caloocan. And so his remains were transported to Caloocan for embalment. Nanay Azing went to Caloocan to prepare his burial.

It was a sudden sweet death for tatay. At least, he knew that he felt better even for a while before he died. He didn't suffer that much and even his family didn't suffer that much as well. Tatay was prepared and his family were prepared as well. But we cannot hide the tears. Tears that would naturally fall down our cheeks in remembering how he's been a Father, Husband, Grandfather, Friend and Neighbor to us.

May his soul rests in peace. And may his family find refuge in God alone. It is my prayer and burden to have Tatay's family have teh PEACE of God in their hearts.

Stellar Nutrition Club

2008-10-06T04:59:00.000-07:00

Location: Stellar, 2nd Flr Pantry, Cubao QC club Owners: Bea Wong, Susie Tanada, Apple Carrera Date Started: August 5, 2008