Are you building a foundation for big things in your life? (Photo: Tom Marcoux . . . Disney material (c) Disney)

One year, a coach prompted me with the words “I want–” And I responded: “. . . to rest.” Can you relate to that? Are you losing too much sleep? Do you feel like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? We’ll use the N.O.W. process:

N – notice
O – open
W – write a log

1. Notice

Ask yourself this empowering question: “Why am I so rested?”
My clients say:

* Because I exercise in the morning so it’s easier to fall asleep at night

* Because I don’t watch TV after 8 pm [yes, the person watches the occasional TV show prerecorded on the previous day]

I would add: “Because I went back to sleep in the morning–after doing some writing. (I can do that because I usually awaken early).

Using a question activates that part of you that automatically looks for your personal answers. So ask yourself: “Why am I so rested?” And then notice how you can modify your schedule so you make rest a natural, non-negotiable part of your life. By “non-negotiable,” I mean that you invoke some self-discipline and actually make things happen so that you get more rest. For example, at home watching a DVD with family, I have actually gotten up during the middle of the film and gone upstairs to bed. I make the decision based on a question: Is this film worth my throwing off my sleep schedule? At various times, the film is not. At other times, my family starts watching a DVD earlier in the evening so I keep to an empowering sleep schedule.

2. Open

You need to be open to rearranging your schedule. Also, you’ll need to drop some activities. Let’s face it: Many of us are so busy that we become a “sleep cheat.” That is, someone who cheats himself or herself of adequate sleep. I understand that you work hard and that you need some relaxation time in your life. I discovered that when I get up early, exercise early and have some quality alone-time in the morning, I feel better the whole day. So I get some relaxation and renewal time in the morning before my work activities. This was a big switch for me. There were years when I had relaxation time late at night from 12 midnight to 2 AM. That could cause some difficulty. I had to be open to modifying my schedule. It has really uplifted my life.

3. Write a log

A reliable way to change a habit is to keep a log. For example, for years, I continue to keep a log of how much sleep I get per night. Why? Because I place a high value on maintaining excellent health and having the capacity to do big things.

When I saw that I missed sleep for a couple of nights in a row, I did something to get more sleep.

With your log, reward yourself for doing positive activities. In this way, you become your own coach.

Start with the question: “Why am I so rested?”
And then make being rested your new reality.

Then you’ll have more capacity to make your dreams come true.

It’s worth it.

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
Author of 10 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )

P.S. Make 2012 Your Best Year Ever with a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

Books to help you strengthen yourself:

1) New! Darkest Secrets of Film Directing: How Successful Film Directors Overcome Hidden Traps

2) Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

3) Darkest Secrets of Negotiation Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Overcome Intimidation, Get Stronger, and Turn the Power to Good

4) Darkest Secrets of Spiritual Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Boost Your Psychological Immune System and Strengthen Your Spirit

5) Darkest Secrets of the Film and Television Industry Every Actor Should Know: A Film Director and Actor Reveals Secrets for Your Acting, Auditions, Movie Roles and Self-Promotion

Free chapters of the above books at Amazon.com

* * * * * * *

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

* 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

P.P.S. Get a Free Special Report “9 Deadly Mistakes to Avoid  . . . and 9 Surefire Solutions for Your Next Speech”
and learn the secrets Tom Marcoux, America’s Communication Coach, provides for CEOs, Business Owners, and Graduate Students Click for Your Free Report

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter  at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

Are you focusing and making something magical in your life?

Want to take a leap forward? You’ll need energy and capacity. Use this empowering question: “Does this strengthen me?” We’ll use the O.N. process:

O – open your eyes
N – nurture yourself

1. Open your eyes

The power of the question “Does this strengthen me?” it that is can expand your vision and your awareness. Some friends or relatives may tell you, “Would you give up on that already? You’ve never had a big success with that ever.”

A particular friend said that to me. He said it with the words, “I’m telling you this for your own good.” But after I asked, “Is there anything else you need me to hear?” I heard that it just simply annoyed him to hear that I was still working on a particular project. This wasn’t for my own good. Instead it was to stop something from annoying him.

The truth is: some projects or activities take time so that we grow into a new role in life.

So after I heard the friend out, I said, “From everything you said, it just sounds like there are a number of things I do that annoy you. So it seems like we just need space–away from each other.”

I decided at that point that talking to this person did not strengthen me. And in truly listening during the conversation, I had my eyes opened to the truth. This person was not truly supporting me. His negative fortune-telling was the opposite of my colleagues who help me improve my projects. I hire editors who give me “tough love,” guiding me to write better.

Remember, ask yourself: “Does this strengthen me?”

2. Nurture yourself

Let’s look at this truth together: when you nurture yourself, you develop capacity. And with capacity, you can be nurturing to others.

Many of us pride ourselves on being supportive friends and family members. And that’s good. And still, we must take care so that we do not overextend ourselves. Let’s face it: people will fill up your time–if you let them. What’s the solution? It’s for you to focus on what you truly want so you will be careful and thoughtful about your time and schedule.

For example, there was a time when I really changed my personal schedule. I discovered that if I went to sleep earlier and rose earlier, I could get in writing and exercise time before everyone in my household awakened–including the two cats.

I simply felt refreshed before interacting with anyone during the day.

Nurturing myself made a huge difference! It was like a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. This process of early to bed and early to rise–and writing and exercise in the mornings simply brought more good feelings into my daily experience.

I invite you to find ways to nurture yourself.

One of the most useful methods is to take a break. For example, I write in the morning. When I feel fatigued, I take a break and go for a run. I return to the computer refreshed.

With more capacity, you’ll feel better and people will feel better near you, too.

When you ask yourself: “Does this strengthen me?”–you’ll do well by cutting some activities that drain you.

When you nurture yourself, you will improve your experience of daily life.

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
Author of 10 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )

P.S. Make 2012 Your Best Year Ever with a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

Books to help you strengthen yourself:

1) Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

2) Darkest Secrets of Negotiation Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Overcome Intimidation, Get Stronger, and Turn the Power to Good

3) Darkest Secrets of Spiritual Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Boost Your Psychological Immune System and Strengthen Your Spirit

4) Darkest Secrets of the Film and Television Industry Every Actor Should Know: A Film Director and Actor Reveals Secrets for Your Acting, Auditions, Movie Roles and Self-Promotion

Free chapters of the above books at Amazon.com

* * * * * * *

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

* 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

P.P.S. Get a Free Special Report “9 Deadly Mistakes to Avoid  . . . and 9 Surefire Solutions for Your Next Speech”
and learn the secrets Tom Marcoux, America’s Communication Coach, provides for CEOs, Business Owners, and Graduate Students Click for Your Free Report

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter  at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

** Tom Marcoux photographed the image with this article **

Instead of just "happy birthday"--how about "Happy Today"?

Do you want more energy and better relationships–both business and personal? Focus on “talk about what you love.” We’ll use the U.P. process:

U – untangle yourself from habitual complaining
P – point to what works

1. Untangle yourself from habitual complaining

How do people bond with each other? Many commiserate. What a word “commiserate.” They share misery–in fact they co-operate to create more!

Instead, make a new, empowering habit: Talk about what you love.

What do you love in your current life?

I’m not talking about either extreme: a) living in the future or b) denying the tough parts of one’s current life.

The truth is many of us have positive things in life like friends, family, a job and a safe place to sleep. And we forget how these are truly blessings.

Further, if you’re taking daily steps toward something you like (perhaps, a hobby or some entrepreneurial pursuit), then you do have something positive to talk about.

2. Point to what works

My neighbor who races motorcycles said, “You go where you’re looking.” That’s a reason that car racers avoid looking at the wall–because they do NOT want to crash into it!

So when we talk about “point to what works” — we’re talking about accentuating the positive and then you’ll continue going in that positive direction.

Many people lose too much time talking about unfair things that have happened in their past. I invite you to focus most of your energy on your present choices and opportunities. We have a choice in every moment. Recently, I read a phrase in a book: “Make peace with each moment.” This means, to me, that I have a choice to cherish this present moment and not waste it on past disappointments.

Often, I find that I purposely avoid rehashing bad times or disappointments when I talk with friends. There’s a whole world of opportunities out there–if we’ll just look in that direction.

Don’t look at the wall!

Focus and talk about what you love.

You’ll brighten your own day–and make a positive contribution to those around you.

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
Author of 10 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )

P.S. Make 2012 Your Best Year Ever with a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

Books to help you strengthen yourself:

1) Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

2) Darkest Secrets of Negotiation Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Overcome Intimidation, Get Stronger, and Turn the Power to Good

3) Darkest Secrets of Spiritual Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Boost Your Psychological Immune System and Strengthen Your Spirit

4) Darkest Secrets of the Film and Television Industry Every Actor Should Know: A Film Director and Actor Reveals Secrets for Your Acting, Auditions, Movie Roles and Self-Promotion

Free chapters of the above books at Amazon.com

* * * * * * *

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

* 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

P.P.S. Get a Free Special Report “9 Deadly Mistakes to Avoid  . . . and 9 Surefire Solutions for Your Next Speech”
and learn the secrets Tom Marcoux, America’s Communication Coach, provides for CEOs, Business Owners, and Graduate Students Click for Your Free Report

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter  at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

Imagine that you can feel happy as you walk up the stairs to success

What if you could make your life much happier? Focus on this question: “Why Am I Happy?” We’ll use the O.N. process:

O – open
N – notice

1. Open

Imagine you could open the door to happiness even in the presence of uncertainty. That’s the task. If we wait until so many loose ends are tied up, we’ll miss life and happiness. Let’s face it together. There is always something pending. Something “not right yet.”

Our choice is to focus on the question: “Why am I happy?” — as opposed to the idea: “when ____ happens, then I’ll be happy.” There’s always something that we’d prefer to have or get done or to get past. So it’s not helpful to obsess on “when ____ happens, then I’ll be happy.”

Now, this moment, is the real gift — and it is truly all that we have.

2. Notice

When you ask yourself, “Why am I happy?” there’s a part of you that automatically answers. When you ask this question you notice what is positive in your life.

Some losses are overwhelming for a time. I remember the end of one romantic relationship. I cried and cried. Eventually, there came a time when I was able to be sad and see some positive things still going on in my life. I still had friends, family, my health and a direction and purpose for my life.

When we notice our blessings, something good happens. The door to gratitude can open. Trust me: When you feel gratitude, you simply feel better.

It all begins with the question “Why am I happy?”

Warmly,

Tom

Tom Marcoux
Author of 10 books (with free chapters on Amazon.com )

P.S. Make 2012 Your Best Year Ever with a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

Books to help you strengthen yourself:

1) Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

2) Darkest Secrets of Negotiation Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Overcome Intimidation, Get Stronger, and Turn the Power to Good

3) Darkest Secrets of Spiritual Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Boost Your Psychological Immune System and Strengthen Your Spirit

4) Darkest Secrets of the Film and Television Industry Every Actor Should Know: A Film Director and Actor Reveals Secrets for Your Acting, Auditions, Movie Roles and Self-Promotion

Free chapters of the above books at Amazon.com

* * * * * * *

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

* 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

P.P.S. Get a Free Special Report “9 Deadly Mistakes to Avoid  . . . and 9 Surefire Solutions for Your Next Speech”
and learn the secrets Tom Marcoux, America’s Communication Coach, provides for CEOs, Business Owners, and Graduate Students Click for Your Free Report

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter  at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

Watch out for what's important.

What are three words that can get you into trouble? “I deserve this.” Have you ever overeaten or spent too much on some item? Did “I deserve this” pop into your mind? “Hey, I deserve this . . . third piece of pie, recliner, new high end car . . . ” We’ll use the D.O. process:

D – drop demands and explore your preferences
O – open to possibilities

1. Drop demands and explore your preferences.

I’ll say it right now. You deserve all the blessings: The chocolate cake, the top level home entertainment system. All of it.

The important question is: What do you really want? Because you’re going to pay for it! I have a phrase “Expensive so Choose Well.” Too much chocolate cake, and you “pay for it.” Too many consumer purchases, and you won’t have the funds for your highest priorities.

I work many hours and I may feel that I deserve more ice cream or 327 books from Amazon.com. But what do I really want? To feel healthy and strong. What else? To feel that I’m using my various budgets in an empowering manner.

“I deserve this” is an idea that relates to demands. It’s sort of similar to: “I work really hard so I demand more ice cream because I deserve this.”

I suggest that you “drop demands and explore your preferences.”

So the question is not about whether you deserve positive things in life. It’s about whether you consciously decide what will empower you, give you value and get you smiling.

At the moment, someone I know “Matilda” is upset with her friend Susan. Matilda feels she knows exactly what Susan should do: get a particular graduate degree and quit her job. Really? Matilda knows this–for certain?

My point here is that both Matilda and Susan have automatic demands. Matilda, through her insistent manner, demands that Susan acknowledge that she’s right. Perhaps, she would like to hear. “You’re right, Matilda. I’ve been wrong all along. I’ll apply to XYZ Graduate School in the next 10 minutes.”

Susan demands that Matilda back off.

Will they get their demands met? Maybe. Maybe not.

But here’s something they’ll get if they both remain rigid: Drama, pain, wasted time — and perhaps, damage to their friendship.

How about they both convert a demand into a preference?

Susan would like to demand that Matilda “let her be” and simply “understand her.”

Instead, Susan can gently express her preference. And then see what happens. If Matilda stays rigid and demanding, then Susan can choose to avoid calling her at times when Susan feels vulnerable.

Meanwhile, Matilda can also switch from “demanding” to preferring. Matilda could prefer that Susan consider her advice, but she could also let go and trust that Susan will find her own path.

Demands, particularly with friends, cause trouble.

Expressing a preference can often help.

One of my clients recently asked, “But what happens when you express your preference and then the other person does not respect your request?”

Sometimes, you may choose to “have some space” or “time away” from some people. You’re choosing where you’ll be. And you avoid “demanding” that anyone change.

2. Open to possibilities

Recently, a friend said, “That won’t work. You’ve never had success with that product line in the past.”

Whoa, stop.

Just because something didn’t work before, does not guarantee that it will never work — particularly if you’ve learned much in the meantime and if you’re getting new support and have a new plan.

As a side note . . . .  I’ve learned: Handle fear with getting support and having a plan.

It all begins with being “open to possibilities.” You need to start with the idea that something you want is possible.

How does this relate to “I deserve this”?

“I deserve this” gets us into trouble because we’re focusing solely on “this.” And as we focus on this, we’re demanding that “this” happens only in the way we want it to. It’s like walking with blinders on.

Sure, I prefer that all my books become best-sellers. But that’s a preference.

There are many good things related to my writing 11 books.

For example, in writing the books, I have thought deeply on a variety of topics. I like ideas and learning — and I’ve grown as a human being — in writing the books.

I get emails from people who tell me of the value they’ve gained from the books — and that brightens my day. It feels great to be helpful to others. (free chapters of the books at Amazon.com )

And another benefit: a number of people read my books and then want to partner with me on business opportunities. Why? Because they have learned of my experiences and my understanding.

I invite you to take the blinders off, start expressing preferences and see what surprise-blessings blossom in your life.

Remember it’s not about “I deserve this.”

You’re a worthwhile person; you already deserve blessings.

It’s really about consciously deciding to take action for what you really want.

Warmly,

Tom

P.S. Make 2012 Your Best Year Ever with a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

Books to help you strengthen yourself:

1) Darkest Secrets of Persuasion and Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself and Turn the Power to Good

2) Darkest Secrets of Negotiation Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Overcome Intimidation, Get Stronger, and Turn the Power to Good

3) Darkest Secrets of Spiritual Seduction Masters: How to Protect Yourself, Boost Your Psychological Immune System and Strengthen Your Spirit

4) Darkest Secrets of the Film and Television Industry Every Actor Should Know: A Film Director and Actor Reveals Secrets for Your Acting, Auditions, Movie Roles and Self-Promotion

Free chapters of the above books at Amazon.com

* * * * * * *

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

* 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

P.P.S. Get a Free Special Report “9 Deadly Mistakes to Avoid  . . . and 9 Surefire Solutions for Your Next Speech”
and learn the secrets Tom Marcoux, America’s Communication Coach, provides for CEOs, Business Owners, and Graduate Students Click for Your Free Report

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter  at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

You can bloom and reach past any fence.

Would you like more energy? Then, you’ll have to protect your time. We’ll use the U.P. process:

U – untangle
P – “Purpose your time”

1. Untangle

At one point, I was invited to travel to another state. Some friends “Jonathan” and “Sheryl” invited my sweetheart and me to stay at their home. But one day, I was talking with my coach and I discovered something powerful. I could not relax with the people inviting me. Why? They had so many “rules.” It’s their home and I fully support people being comfortable in their own home. However, the “rules” made me uncomfortable. Have you ever worked with or lived with someone who could be called a “control freak”? No relaxation there.

So I did something difficult. I personally declined going [or "untangled" myself] to that particular home. My sweetheart went ahead and visited with Jonathan and Sheryl. That’s fine. We’re not joined at the hip.

I devote much of my life to service. To listening to clients, friends and family members. That takes energy. Sometimes, I feel depleted. If I’m going to recharge my batteries, I’m going to have to be careful with my choices. I coined a phrase “Expensive so choose well.” What I mean is: my leisure time is in such short supply — that, to me, it is expensive. If I share my leisure time with someone, I want to make sure that the interaction does not drain my energy.

Now, let’s pause for a moment. There are many uncomfortable times — perhaps, with some family members. We have family obligations; and we need to be supportive to family members.  I call that “family time.” On the other hand, when I’m talking about “untangle” — I’m referring to your true leisure time. Choose well.

2. “Purpose your time”

Many of us have heard about “repurposing” something. Perhaps, you wrote an article and you can “repurpose” it to be a speech for an association. Along these lines, let’s talk about “purpose your time.” What is the purpose for your activity? Do you anticipate having a good time? You see, money can be recovered. For example, people buy my books on Amazon.com [free chapters of 10 books are here ] — and I’m making money while I’m sleeping. But time is irrecoverable.

So to “purpose your time,” ask yourself: “Does this drain me or refresh me?”

At one point, I thought, “I want to talk to people who are full of hope and life; those people who are making good things happen.” So I decided to “purpose my time” and avoid spending time with certain “downer people.”

This reminds me of Louise Hay’s comment: “I’m no longer curious about things that upset me.”

Be good to yourself.
Protect your energy, and you’ll likely be kinder to people near you.
That is a blessing.

Warmly,

Tom

***image with this article photographed by Johanna E. Mac Leod**

P.S. Empower yourself to make 2012 Your Best Year Ever with a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

* 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

P.P.S. Get a Free Special Report “9 Deadly Mistakes to Avoid  . . . and 9 Surefire Solutions for Your Next Speech”
and learn the secrets Tom Marcoux, America’s Communication Coach, provides for CEOs, Business Owners, and Graduate Students Click for Your Free Report

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter  at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

Free up your energy; learn to drop worries.

Would you like more energy to make this new year phenomenal? I’ll now share with you a powerful method that begins with three words: “It’s just stuff.” We’ll use the I.T. process.

I – identify
T – target

1. Identify

You need to identify what is truly vital for your happiness. The technique of “It’s just stuff” is a short cut to the process called “non-attachment.”  For example, I experienced twinges of sadness with the closing of Borders bookstores. Why? I had enjoyed many times exploring and finding new books. A Borders store was a place for me to relax and have fun. Really? Because I read a lot of books (85 books in 2011).

But I have discovered a way to quickly move onto a new feeling and new energy. I tell myself “It’s just stuff.” This phrase (which I call a “Switch Phrase”) switches the direction of my thoughts. By saying “it’s just stuff,” I remind myself that I have other ways to have fun — like calling up a friend and having a conversation. You see, I have just reminded myself that material objects are not the only way to enjoy life.

The idea of “non-attachment” is about being free to think other things and have other feelings. On the other hand, I know people who are truly attached to some things, and it just creates misery. We can be attached to physical things like jewelry or books –  you name it.

We also get attached to ideas. For example, if Sam says, “I can’t be happy if my mother keeps criticizing me” — then Sam is attached to one idea. This is a problem because his mother may never approve of him or his actions.

On the other hand, Approval is an occasional dessert. This idea came to my thoughts as I have noticed that some extended family members tend to be hyper-critical. Over the years, I have taught myself not to “demand” or expect approval from various people. I have identified that someone’s approval is not required for me to have an enjoyable life. I can even say, metaphorically, that someone’s lack of approval is “just stuff” — and I can flow onward with my life.

2. Target

What do you want to target as good experiences in your life? Sure, your targets can be goals. But we’re also looking at experiencing good feelings now. You can target your own good feelings.

Let’s say your target is to have better relationships. You can use two phrases: 1) “it’s just stuff” and 2) “make space for people to feel their feelings.” Above, I’ve talked about the idea of being non-attached. Imagine that you can figure out what “stuff” you can drop (what you can be non-attached to). I have a wide circle of friends. Some friends tend to argue with each other. I’ve learned to drop the “stuff” of trying to broker peace between them.

I’ve also learned to “make space for people to feel their feelings.” For example, I have a friend “George” who really pushes waiters to make significant changes when ordering food at restaurants. What changes? George requires a $1.00 discount when he orders a dish without an ingredient.

I remind myself to “make space for people to feel their feelings.” George feels that he has a right to push for certain changes. Okay.

I also hold to an idea: “People can ask for what they want.”

My point is that I do not expect or demand that George change. I drop “the stuff.”

Also, I do not expect or demand that I’ll always have the patience to be near George’s big “$1.00 negotiation” at the restaurant table. I can choose on a given day to decline going to a restaurant with George.

I make space for other people to have their feelings. And I make space for me to have feelings.

And guess what?

I feel free.

This is the power of non-attachment.

By the way, you and I can choose what to be attached to.

I am attached to the idea of being kind to my friends and family. I am attached to doing my best to demonstrate loving actions toward loved ones.

And, I identify what I can let go of.

In this way, I free up a lot of energy. I can use this energy to be really productive.

I invite you to:

* Identify what is truly vital for your happiness. (Let go of other things.)

* Target the good experiences you want in your life. (Let go of things that do not help you.)

Many blessings to you this New Year,

Tom

***image with this article photographed by Tom Marcoux**

P.S. Empower yourself to make 2012 Your Best Year Ever with a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

* 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

P.P.S. Get a Free Special Report “9 Deadly Mistakes to Avoid  . . . and 9 Surefire Solutions for Your Next Speech”
and learn the secrets Tom Marcoux, America’s Communication Coach, provides for CEOs, Business Owners, and Graduate Students Click for Your Free Report

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter  at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

Are you looking forward to joy, success and fulfillment in 2012?

How do you feel as this new year begins? Hopeful? Concerned? You can brighten each day; take action to make 2012 your terrific year. We’ll use the A.L.L. process:

A – align with your heartfelt desires
L – lift up
L – learn

1. Align with your heartfelt desires

Are you doing something related to your dreams each day? One year when I was not making space for writing I wrote: “Writers write or they’re not writers, right?” Simplistic, perhaps. But it served like a boot in the rear to get me to write. Now, I tend to write every day.

What do you really want — from your heart?

I like making films so I’m sure that I’ll be making a couple of films this year.

Identify something that you can do on a modest level that can lead to more opportunities. A number of singers record themselves doing covers of popular songs — and they place videos on YouTube.com  I have bought a number of songs from iTunes.com after discovering less well-known artists’ work.

And it is legendary that Usher saw Justin Bieber’s cover versions of his songs. Usher became Justin’s song producer. So Justin went from YouTube.com to superstardom.

2. Lift up

Lift up your eyes to possibilities. There’s always the first time — the first time you sell a book you’ve written. The first time you actually glide on the dance floor after eight sessions of ballroom dance lessons.

You need to lift up your own eyes. It is likely that you know a number of people who don’t have the hope or imagination that something great can happen. Don’t let their downer energy hold you back.

Realize that before anyone makes a big leap forward, they need to hold the idea in their mind.

Recently, I saw a documentary about the six films of the ROCKY franchise. It all began with one man and one dream. Sylvester Stallone wanted to play leading roles in film. He invested his energy and efforts in writing Rocky in long-hand on a pad of paper. His then-wife typed up the screenplay.

You cannot win if you don’t get in the game. Rocky was not Stallone’s first screenplay. In fact the producers who ultimately produced Rocky, saw Stallone’s other written work and said, “What else have you got?”

Lift up your eyes and hope — and get busy. (I invite you to see the free chapter of my book Nothing Can Stop You This Year!: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great at Amazon.com)

3. Learn

Each time you try something new, you win if you learn something . . . even if things turn out in some disappointing way.

Some friends seem to try to protect you from disappointment. They may say, “Do you know hard it is to do that?” “Do you know how unlikely it is that you’ll succeed at that?–at getting a big audience?”

Recently, I met with a new colleague. He asked, “How much money can be made with that project?”

I truthfully replied, “It could make no money at all. You need to discover if you really want to do this.”

Some projects lead to bigger and better. For example, the TV series Sanctuary began as an eight-webisode series that was released via the Internet in 2007. In 2008, Syfy Channel released the Sanctuary TV series. Sanctuary has continued with the current 4th season.

As I mentioned, if you learn something, you always win. I’ve learned to be really good about setting budgets for projects. Why? Because I want the freedom to explore and to experiment. So I have multiple projects going at any time — and any one of them can become “red hot.” That’s when I focus more resources on the particular project.

To keep my focus, I have a written list of goals, and I’ve learned to postpone some projects. For example, I have already written down two projects that I’m postponing to next year.

So make 2012 a year of joy, stretching to fulfill your potential, and personal fulfillment.

Remember to:

A – align with your heartfelt desires
L – lift up
L – learn

A great New Year to you and loved ones,

Tom

***image with this article photographed by Johanna E. Mac Leod**

P.S. Empower yourself to make 2012 Your Best Year Ever with a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

* 10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

P.P.S. Get a Free Special Report “9 Deadly Mistakes to Avoid  . . . and 9 Surefire Solutions for Your Next Speech”
and learn the secrets Tom Marcoux, America’s Communication Coach, provides for CEOs, Business Owners, and Graduate Students Click for Your Free Report

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter  at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

Savor every sweet moment.

Have you ever wanted to really feel joy? Successful people I have interviewed squeeze each day like an orange and get the juice. How? They bounce back quickly after tough moments. They find the discipline to “flow to the next moment.” We’ll use the Y.E.S. process:

Y – yield the judgments
E – embrace possibilities
S – savor

1. Yield the Judgments

“I’m sorry that you’re having a bad day,” a friend may say. Really?–the whole day is bad? That is a judgment, and it causes trouble because it limits your perception. For example, recently, I had a choice. One member of my extended family unloaded a lot of judgmental comments on me. It felt so burdensome that I said, “That’s being judgmental.” Finally, after being pummeled by the person’s rant, I said, “Judge this. I cancel.” With that, I cancelled my participation in a get together.

On the other hand, during the previous week I had demonstrated great patience with the same unruly person. But the time I said “I cancel,” I was missing too important things “reserves” and “capacity.” I admit it: I was tired after completing final grades of 7 classes of graduate students and college students.

Now here is where the big choice comes in. Do I interpret this unpleasant exchange (the family member’s ranting) as making a bad day? Or do I choose to say, I just went through some bumpy moments, and let’s see what’s next. This relates to my phrase: “Flow to the Next Moment.”

I’m talking about “yield the judgments” — in other words, I mean “give up your judgments.” Why? They won’t serve you, anyway. If I judge a day ruined by some “bumpy moments,” then I simply hurt myself. Further, I disrupt the day of people near me with my continued bad mood. On the other hand, when I focus on “flow to the next moment” I free up new energy and new possibilities.

2. Embrace possibilities

Have you ever heard someone say something that is so bitter and so “frozen in the past”? Perhaps, “George” says something like: “You know how my father is. It’ll be another uncomfortable moment when he criticizes Janet’s weight.”

Does George know for sure what his father will say in this next moment? No. And even if his father says something critical, perhaps, Janet and the other people present will be feeling so good that the critical remark just “bounces off.”

To have the chance to embrace possibilities, we need to choose to let go of our predictions.

3. Savor

It helps to step into each moment fresh and enjoy what you find in the particular moment. This is especially relevant during the holiday season. We remember the good times and want them to happen again. Not possible. People around you are not the same. You’re not the same. Imagine that the next moment can be “good and different.”

Let this next moment be what it is. Savor whatever you find that is positive in this present moment.

Shake off the dust of the past and flow to the next moment.

That’s where we do our real living! In each moment, we have the possibility to discover joy, surprise, love, compassion, and connection.

Many joyful moments,

Tom

***Image with this article photographed by Tom Marcoux ***

P.S. This Holiday Season give a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

that include hundreds of quotes by billionaires, millionaires, extraordinary people both contemporary and throughout history:

10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video

about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

P.P.S. Get a Free Special Report “9 Deadly Mistakes to Avoid  . . . and 9 Surefire Solutions for Your Next Speech”
and learn the secrets Tom Marcoux, America’s Communication Coach, provides for CEOs, Business Owners, and Graduate Students Click for Your Free Report

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter  at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5

Focus on What You Really Want

Do you have just a vague idea about how you’d like your life to improve? No one got energized by vague, wishy-washy goals. Your real power ignites when you say, “I am resolved.” We’ll use the A.M. process:

A – aim high
M – make it a game you can win

1. Aim high

Yes–have a big goal. Why? No one got excited by: “Yeah, join us. We’re making something mediocre.”

So when I begin a project, I’m not thinking just one book. I’m thinking “Trilogy!”

No. More than that. I’m thinking: books, graphic novels, and feature films–and a TV series.

Someone asks me, “Have you done a TV series?”
I reply, “Not yet.”

“Have you met Steven Spielberg?”
Not yet.

Someone might ask me, “How do you even think you’d meet Steven Spielberg?”

I’d reply, “Have your heard of my book TimePulse: Beyond Titanic? He might get interested in that.” [If you're curious, see the first 9 chapters at Amazon.com ]

To jump forward, one needs to take good steps. You need to be IN the game to have a chance to win it.

2. Make it a game you can win

I know a filmmaker who had a film that didn’t make any money. An absolute failure–yes?

She told me, “We had three goals:

* Make something that uplifted people
* Further our careers
* Make money.
We got two out of three.”

So some people would say that two out of three is not an absolute failure. And, certainly, she is now motivated to do projects “that make money.” And, she learned so much with her first film.

How can you “make it a game you can win”?

First, identify goals that you have real control over. What are those? I call them Effort-goals. You control how many pages you write a day. You control how many agents you submit a query letter to. Here we’re talking about “I am resolved.” So with an Effort-goal, you can say something like: “I am resolved to write my book this year. I am resolved to write at least 100 words each day.”

It’s reported that the first Chicken Soup for the Soul book was rejected 130 times. How many of us would have given up at 99 submissions to publishers?

So target your Effort-goals. Give yourself a reward for accomplishing each of your Effort-goals.

The other form of a goal is a Result-goal like: “Having an agent accept my book and represent me.” Do you control that? Not really. But you do control how many query letters or email messages that you send. You control whether you place yourself in a position where good fortune can occur.

One of my mentors said, “Have three screenplays at all times. One screenplay out there in the marketplace; one screenplay that you’re finishing; and one screenplay that you’re starting.” Why? Because if no one buys the “script that is out in the marketplace,” you are okay because you’ve already moved onward with a new script.

Give yourself credit for making daily steps with your Effort-goals. Make it a game you can win.

Focus on what you really want and discover the power when you say to yourself: “I am resolved” . . .

- to write three pages today
- to make fifteen marketing phone calls
- to send two query letters
- to take a 45 minute walk with my spouse and talk about our day

Be resolved to take action for what is most important for your life and happiness.

Warmly,

Tom

***Image with this article photographed by Tom Marcoux ***

P.S. This Holiday Season give a huge dose of inspiration with Tom Marcoux’s books:

that include hundreds of quotes by billionaires, millionaires, extraordinary people both contemporary and throughout history:

10 Seconds to Wealth: Master the Moment using Your Divine Giftsnow available on Amazon.com at http://amzn.to/gDub2e [See a video

about 10 Seconds to Wealth at YouTube.com

Nothing Can Stop You This Year: How to Unleash Your Hidden Power to Persuade Well, Get More Done, Gain Sudden Profits, Command Intuition and Feel Great – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8zQywm

Do you really want to connect with someone important? (a friend, a loved one, a job interviewer, a supervisor). See a free chapter:

Be Heard and Be Trusted:
How You Can Use Secrets of the Greatest Communicators to Get What You Want, 3rd edition – free chapter at http://bit.ly/8H0rOO

P.P.S. Get a Free Special Report “9 Deadly Mistakes to Avoid  . . . and 9 Surefire Solutions for Your Next Speech”
and learn the secrets Tom Marcoux, America’s Communication Coach, provides for CEOs, Business Owners, and Graduate Students Click for Your Free Report

Tom Marcoux
CEO,
America’s Communication Coach

Author of

Truth No One Will Tell You: How to Feed Your Soul, Save a Business, or Get a Job During an Economic Crisis — free chapter  at http://bit.ly/8RTRk5