Bits and Pieces of Me

i'm back and better than ever ......

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 16:37:00 +0000

my last post was on saturday, april 3, 2010. now here i am again ....... wednesday, march 14, 2012 .......

last time i was still married and looking for a way out ...... well i'm out and divorced !!!!!!!!!!! the journey has not been an easy one ...... but well worth it ........

i found what i was looking for ....... i'd forgotten who i was ........... now i see it clearly ........ i am kind , i am loving , i am lovable .......

SATURDAY, APRIL 3,2010

feel good fridays

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 08:13:00 +0000

Feel Good Friday's is Hosted by The Girl Next Door Grow's Up.

5 Things That Have Made ME Happy This Week.

1. Laughing my head off with my 16 year old son.

2. Talking to my 21 year old son last night.

3. Enjoying a beautiful view yesterday that made me smile.

4. Coming up with my own plan for my own future.

5. Spending time on the internet tonight.

New Name

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 05:55:00 +0000

I have changed the name of my blog because I am changing too.
I believe I can find the happiness and peace I have wanted in my life for so long. But I am going to need a plan to figure out how to go about it sucessfully.

It's not going to be easy because there is so much for me to sort out, my first step will be to get professional help through a counselor. I've gone to counseling in the past but did not stay long enough to see the results that I needed. I left too soon for reasons such as; feeling I should be over the pain in my past by now, knowing others have it harder than me and feeling like a cry baby, feeling as if I was taking too long to make any real changes in my life.
Yesterday I saw a man walking his daughter to the school bus with the use of two canes, I could tell it was extremely difficult for him to walk. Having worked in Nursing Homes with Rehabilitation Departments, I thought this man was probablly getting some type of physical therapy.
That is when I started to think that I should view my emotional therapy as I would if I needed physical therapy. I would not consider myself a cry baby or weak for any physical disability, I would not get mad at myself if my body did not heal quickly. So this is what I need to change about my own perception about emotional therapy and take the time I need to heal and make the positive changes that I want to see in my life. I don't need to feel rushed about it, just enjoy any progress I make.

I feel better already!!!!

Do you have any out of the ordinary Easter Traditions?

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 04:44:00 +0000

When my kids got a little too old to hunt for Easter eggs outside, but were still young enough to enjoy it. I started hiding their Easter treats inside the house. I was not very good with holiday traditions, but sooooo glad I thought of this one. I used to tell them to go outside while I hid the treats, and once they were called in they would run as fast as they could through the house searching. It always made me laugh to see them and actually enjoyed it more than the traditional outdoor hunt. We also usually found candy hidden in the house way after Easter.

What are some of your traditions?

Every second

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 09:50:00 +0000

I found this quote at My HEART meet yours. A very nice blog I recommend.

Overcoming Battered Lives Blog - Domestic Violence, Domestic Abuse and Emotional Abuse Stories

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 21:57:00 +0000

Overcoming Battered Lives Blog - Domestic Violence, Domestic Abuse and Emotional Abuse Stories

France's National Assembly (comparable to the U.S. House of Representatives) approved a measure last night that makes psychological violence a crime. The law applies to men and women.
The law, said Prime Minister Francois Fillon, "will allow people to take into account the most insidious situations, which don't leave a mark to the naked eye but can mutilate the victim's inner self."

Getting out of an emotionally abusive relationships or stopping this form of manipulation is never easy. Problems between partners is typical, but when your partner turns emotionally abusive, hogging power and control for the purpose of ego gratification, then it is a matter that you should not overlook or dismiss.

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 21:55:00 +0000

Interesting.....

Podcast: Download (2.2MB)

Full hypnosis download Escape emotional abuse

Think I might try this. Let you know if I do. Let me know if you do.

A Letter From My Husband

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 21:18:00 +0000

You are a FUCKING DRUGGIE WHORE. I was right again on what you have been up to. Don't you feel bad getting fucked and then coming home to face your kids. I don't ever want to see your ugly face again much less talk to you. You can have all the mexicans,niggers,white fuckers you want. Thats is what you are known for.

Its all about those dicks and getting high. Poor kids, you shouldn't even be called a mother. You are a disgrace.

You present yourself as a caring caregiver when you can't even take care of your own. If they only knew your past. Thats how come the kids don't visit you.

Stay the fuck away from this condo or I will get a restraining order against you. You did me wrong again and this time it will be different. I have the original spare keys and will get the car back when you least expect it. Remember the title is under my name. I hope you don't forge a check because this time I will go after your ass.(whats left of it adter getting banged so much. Whore.

Homemade Pineapple Syrup

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 10:01:00 +0000

I've never thought of eating pancakes with pineapple syrup!!!! But doesn't it sound yummy!!!!!!!!!!!!

click HERE for recipe at Cooking Tip of the day

What's wrong with you!!!

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 17:03:00 +0000

"I know what's best for you...better than you do."

Emotional abuse can be subtle, happening without you realizing your being controlled. It can happen over time, little by little, slowly eroding at your self-esteem. Eventually losing confidence and questioning your own mind and sanity. Your left feeling confused, defensive, angry, sad, bitter, embarased about your weakness, and mostly hurt for having been hurt for so long this way, by the person who was supposed to be your best friend and companion for life. I tried so hard to make my marriage work. I prayed so hard for my marriage. I can't take walking away lightly. I don't understand why we had to end up like this, I was a good wife. And I did the very best I could to raise our children the right way. Passing on my values in life to them. I taught them to be compassionate, kind, and loving. I tried to teach them to value themselves, to let them know how wonderful they were. But in the end none of it was sufficient for you. I'm tapped out. I can't do this anymore. I have to take care of myself now. You don't need to accept me, but I need to find acceptance within myself now.

One can easily lose their identity and question themselves.

Emotional abuse is a game of intimidation used for power and control over another.

A psychologically abusive act is deliberately making someone feel devalued, demeaned, inferior, afraid, or humiliated,

with the intention of dominating, controlling, isolating, or intimidating.

An emotional abuser can manipulate the relationship in such a way that only his feelings and opinions count. Such a person demands his own way and goes to the extent of hurting you in order to achieve it. He has less interest in your personal standards or beliefs, and can force you or persuade you to do things against your own will. He refuses to listen or communicate and rejects the occurrence of certain events or conversations. Causing a major communication break down in the relationship.
It can start with simple tension and get nasty over the simplest of things. Frequent accusations, blaming, threatening and giving orders, with a judgmental attitude of “I know best”. Anger, blame, threats, constant criticizims, unreasonable demands, and arguing are a common occurances. Last night we fought about a dollar! An emotional abuser may deny your perception, memory, sanity, and personal needs, especially when the need is greatest. In order to get what he wants, an abuser will emotionally blackmail you by playing on your fears, guilt, compassion, religious values or other "hot buttons" to get what they want. If there is apology, it is usually tempered with self-righteous justification, excuses, denial that abuse happened, claiming the abuse is not as bad as the victim claims it to be, often adding that he had no choice but to get angry because of the way you are. The incident is forgotten, as if the abuse never took place. This cycle is repeated and sustained, and gets worse when I try to defend myself in any way.

Whether delivered directly or indirectly. His message says, "You need to trust my wisdom—over your own—regarding issues specific to you." You even come to recognize the subtle reinforcement employed to help you buy into his propaganda. You might observe reprimand or the withholding of something you desire when you resist the other person's demands. When you yield to his demands, things that were not available before are suddenly available. Abuse survivors begin to discount their inner knowledge and lose contact with their inner wisdom. Eventually, looking outward for answers and fail to factor in a wealth of hidden internal personal datum.

Emotional abuse involves many different tactics, but all have the same goal. He wants to make sure he has total control of you. Some of the tactics used by emotional abusers include the following:

Making you feel as if you can't be yourself or be trusted.
Yelling, cussing or name calling to belittle you.
Insults or makes fun of you in front of others or in private.
Threatens you with divorce frequently.
Attacks you verbally with no provocation.
Spies on you and then confronts you about your activities
Accuses you of doing things you did not do
constantly pointing out your flaws
berate, belittle, criticize and/ or threaten you frequently.
Uses looks and gestures that are intended to scare you without ever actually hitting you, he may yell and scream obscenities and then pull his fist back as if he intends on punching you but doesn’t follow through, being led to believe it could happen.
Demanding constant attention and expecting you to spend all your free time with him.
Deliberately starting an argument for no reason.
Treat you well in front of others, but will change back to a different person when both of you are alone, and vice versa.
Constant conflict either with you or with others.

Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behaviors which can include:

Physical Abuse:

Hitting, punching, slapping, shoving, kicking, burning, choking, use of weapons or other objects to cause injury.

Sexual Abuse:
Forcing a partner to engage in unwanted sexual acts, refusing to practice safe sex, treating a partner like a sex object; insisting on sex when a partner is ill.

Emotional Abuse/Intimidation:
Isolation from family or friends; intimidation; name-calling and put-downs; denying/shifting blame; treating a partner as an inferior; threatening to harm self/others; abusing children or pets; stalking; using threatening looks, actions or gestures.

Property/Economic Abuse:
Stealing or destroying belongings/money; refusing basic needs such as food or medical treatment; interfering with a partner’s work or education.

Some stay because they are afraid the abuse will worsen if they try to leave; they are ashamed; because they blame themselves; they stay out of fear of losing children or not being able to support them; they stay because of religious convictions; they stay because they have no money, few resources or little support; because of social pressure and cultural taboos, and a myriad of other reasons specific to their situations. Racism, homophobia, ageism, and discrimination based on physical ability, nationality and other factors can also make finding help and safety even more difficult for some victims.

Four“romantic" signs of control:

♦Jealousy:
Jealousy and possessiveness are forms of control that can easily escalate into emotional abuse and physical violence. Being asked to account for every minute of your day is a sign your partner is trying to limit your freedom.

♦Isolation:
His desire to spend all his time with you might seem romantic, but he is actually trying to make you dependent on him so he can control you. Isolating you from friends and family is a common form of control.

♦Charm:
Charm can be a weapon of abuse, by switching between charm and aggression, this behavior is designed to confuse you and make you doubt your judgment, which leaves you walking on eggshells as you anticipate his next outburst.

In addition, charmers use their skills to make everyone else believe they are a great catch and no one will believe you if you suggest their behavior is inappropriate.

♦Intimidation:
Controlling what you wear, who you see, where you go and events you attend, is a strategy for control.

Victims may experience sleep problems, depression, severe anxiety, low self-esteem, fearfulness, aggression, extreme dependence, frequent crying, suicidal thoughts or attempts, making unreasonable decisions at times.

Getting the Help You Deserve

When you are emotionally battered or abused, the best way to deal with the situation is to GET THE HELL OUT!!!!! No one should have to endure abuse of any kind.
It can often be difficult for an emotionally abused person to take the first step. If you see yourself in this situation it’s important you get professional help to help you overcome the natural consequences of emotional abuse and to get moving in the best possible direction for you. Get support from your friends and family.

If your abuser truly loves you, he will seek help. An abuser will often agree to counseling when a spouse has left only to quit and return to the abuse. It takes time and patience, but it’s perfectly possible to get therapy and restore the love within your marriage, but your abuser must be willing to admit he has a problem and be willing to get help.

If your abuser refuses to get the help you need get out and do not return! even if the abuser apologies, telling you that he has changed, that he cannot cope without you, or threaten to hurt himself. These behaviors are a form of abuse as well.

Do not hope or believe that the abuser is going to change with out professional help or that he is really sorry. Remember that this is about you, only you can take care of yourself. You need emotional stability in order to function well as a person. The abuser will not allow you to help yourself, the abuser only wants your help and is never going to give back. And no matter how much you do give him, it will never be enough. An abuser chooses to abuse, there are no excuses. There is NO reason that is EVER okay to abuse someone EVER!

Take the first step to breaking free from domestic abuse.

Feel the freedom to discover and become who you really are
find yourself and be the "You" that you are.
Create intimate relationships of mutual honoring and respect. Remember that before someone can be a part of your life, they must first prove they are worthy of your love and companionship. Any action that makes you feel uncomfortable or frightened should be given special consideration. Don’t ever sell yourself short or believe you deserve abusive behavior of any type.
Imagine yourself in healthy relationships and entertain this new image routinely, cherish the impact that it has on you and on your perception of an intimate relationship.
Someone who loves you lets you become more of what you are, rather than less of what you are.
Shed your tolerance for self-silencing and the deadening of your own spirit.

Help someone you know who is being abused by being a friend, listening and believing what they say. Help them to identify resources and options. Give nonjudgemental support and let them know they can come to you again if necessary.

Support your local domestic violence program. They can benefit from your time, financial support or other donations.

Expert on the subject from 21 years of marriage.

http://weagley.org/wpmu/updateosblog/2010/02/18/domestic-abuse-are-you-a-victim/

http://drthema.blogspot.com/2010/02/emotionally-abusive-relationships.html

The DIY Show Off Project Parade

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 01:55:00 +0000

~*~*~

These house number flower pots were featured in BHG's 100
Decorating Ideas under $100.
I want to make this and place it in front of my beautiful Tiny House one day. Here's the link .

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 00:12:00 +0000

Did You Know? It takes approximately 1 million years for a glass bottle to break down in a landfill.

Tiny Houses

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 00:00:00 +0000

I Love Tiny Houses and want one soooo bad! Not sure which one I want yet but here is another one I like.

Palladio’s Escape encloses 412 square feet and has a footprint that measures 18′ by 26'. It has a full kitchen, two small pantries, an eating bar, living room, and space for a washer and dryer. It also offers a large bedroom with amble storage space and a sleeping loft.

I ALSO LOVE THE NAME OF THE COTTAGE!!!!!!!!!!!

If you don’t have the skills or desire to tackle a project of this size, but want the house, Ricky will build one for you to the closed-in stage for $29,000. Also included in this price are high quality double glazed insulated windows and a front door.

Here are some sample pages from the plans and photos of the prototype.

Buy Palladio’s Escape Cottage Plans for $99.00

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 09:39:00 +0000

Everyone has a photographic memory, but mine is out of film.

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 08:09:00 +0000

"Life without liberty is like a body without spirit." ~ Kahlil Gibran

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 20:55:00 +0000

http://www.dailystrength.org/

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/emotional-abuse-discussions/general-support/1242919-emotional-abuse-or-am-i-crazy

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 05:00:00 +0000

20 years ago I was living in Big Bend National Park. I had married my husband the previous year. My first baby boy was a year old and I was already 7 months pregnant with my daughter. I stayed home with my son and was happy to be a mom.

I didn't know that 20 years later I'd feel crushed. And realize that I had married for the wrong reasons.

"There are so many fragile things, after all.

People break so easily,
and so do dreams and hearts." -Neil Gaiman
[image via weheartit]

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 05:02:00 +0000

“There is a wonderful mythical law of nature that the three things we crave most in life—happiness, freedom, and peace of mind—are always attained by giving them to someone else.”
PEYTON C. MARCH (1864-1955; General, US Army)

Arizona Snow

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 03:59:00 +0000

Most people think hot, hot, desert when they think of Arizona. But check out all the snow we got last week!

Fill In The Blank Friday

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 22:19:00 +0000

Lauren at the little things we do made a list of "fill in the blank." I'm joining in a day late, but better late than never.

1. If I weren't a caregiver I'd love to be a contractor.

2. When I'm super upset I cry.

3. My favorite thing about myself is my spirit.

4. If I found a $100 in the pocket of last winter's coat I'd spend it on groceries.

5. Even though some people might consider this a flaw, I love my sense of humor.

6. I love the way I feel when I learn to do something new.

7. I love my hair most when it's just been colored.

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 20:33:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 16:53:00 +0000

A mother's heart never forgets what it felt, the very first time you held your baby.

I found this beautiful digital stamp at Digital Two For Tuesday. Each week two vintage digital stamps are posted for artists. To inspire your create side and participate with other artist.

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 02:28:00 +0000

i want these shoes!!!!!!!

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 20:44:00 +0000

I lOVE tiny houses and this one is adorable!!!!

Tumbleweed XS-House $99 Sale Ends Saturday

Learn more about the XS-House.

Birds in the Brandy

noreply@blogger.com (dymphna) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 07:53:00 +0000

Birds in the Brandy: "
free pattern - click to get larger size and print!

Oh yeah. This bird had a bit too much to drink. This sheet has 6 large designs for kitchen towels. 3 feature the antics of these cute little birds - a mama bird with a baby in a teacup for 'China', a bird admiring its reflection in a silver pot for 'Silver', and this one, with the bird sleeping one off, for 'Glass.' 3 other designs show a puppy with a teacup on its head (for China), a bear holding a champagne flute (for Glass), and a kitten holding cutlery (for Silver). What's oddest about these 3 cute designs is that not only are they cute animals... they're cute animal puppets. On hands. Can it get any stranger or cuter? Now, jog my memory, people - did someone embroider one of these weird hand puppets awhile back? I think someone did, but I can't remember who or where I saw it. Have you embroidered this? Any links would be appreciated!

Also 3 adorable potholder motifs of critters holding signs: the kitten's sign says 'Don't Burn Your Paws', the bear's sign says 'Careful Hot Pots' and the puppy's sign says 'Watch Out It's Hot.' One more small design of the adorable bird burning its feet on a hot pan. My envelope is in perfect shape, and my transfer sheet is complete and uncut.