Beautiful Mommy Feet

Trading Places

2016-11-04T11:52:00.001-04:00

A Warning to Mothers

2013-02-25T08:19:00.000-05:00

Hi Friends! I am excited to invite you to join me over at Missional Women. Missional Women is a website dedicated to teaching Women how to live Missionally. We hope to teach how to view the world as your mission field and to see how Christ can use you in the every day simple moments.

This month I realized, it had been YEARS since I have actually sat through a commercial because we use a DVR. I never watch television when the children are awake so everything I watch I Fast Forward or I watch it on Netflix. Am I the only one? :)

Well last month I was rudely awakened to an area I never had considered guarding my children

If you are a DVR addict as well I would love to invite you to join me over at Missional Women and give me your thoughts.

http://www.missionalwomen.com/20/post/2013/02/a-warning-to-mothers.html

It's been a while. I am currently writing periodically over at

http://www.missionalwomen.com,

http://radiancewomen.me/

and trying to keep up (but miserably failing ;) )

http://treybradley.blogspot.com/

Surrendering a Gripey Heart

2012-10-18T08:33:00.003-04:00

The other night, after I had sent my children to their bed for the 3rd time, I overheard my son reading rather loudly. After I told him, "Baby, it's past quiet time. It's now sleep time. You must go to sleep." He said, "Mommy, I'm reading Paitlyn a book to help her calm down. Her heart is broken."

For the last year or so my children have been sneaking into my bed around 2:30 every morning for "mommy snuggles". I LOVE those times with my children but my lack of sleep was getting old, my husband and I are trying to toughen up, through their tears and broken hearts and keep them in their beds all night.

Paitlyn (3) was still snubbing from her broken heart and that is why Jaxson (5) was reading a book to her. My heart melted over the love my son has for his sister and how thoughtful he can be towards her. What a blessed little girl, I thought. Then I considered how one day she might take that love and care forgranted, just like we do with ALL blessings.

Over the last few days I have struggled with a gripey heart. I have had this amazing ability to find fault and conflict in everything. I HATE when my heart becomes so negative. When my heart is negative it is even hard to pray because I feel so far away from the Lord, it's a miserable feeling. I began praying so hard for the Lord to bless me with perspective. I prayed for Him to give me His eyes to see circumstances. His compassion to view conflict. His grace to overcome my negative mindset.

That was the night I found my son caring for his sister. What a blessing! I stayed in the living room listening to him talk to her and when he finished reading to her he prayed for her and for... well he's 5 so he prayed for everything under the sun, even Woody and Buzz Lightyear. :)

Today if you're feeling the weight of a negative heart, if you feel like you're the only one and no one else could understand your frustration, pain, loneliness, anger or regret - whatever you're going through. I challenge you (and this may be hard) to consider your blessings, find ways to bless others and pray for perspective. (James 1:5)

Psalm 119:169-176 (NAS)

Let my cry come before You, O Lord;
Give me understanding according to Your word.

Let my supplication come before You;
Deliver me according to Your word.
Let my lips utter praise,
For You teach me Your statutes.

Let my tongue sing of Your word,
For all Your commandments are righteousness.
Let Your hand be ready to help me,
For I have chosen Your precepts.
I long for Your salvation, O Lord,
And Your law is my delight.
Let my soul live that it may praise You,
And let Your ordinances help me.
I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek Your servant,
For I do not forget Your commandments.

Our hearts are incapable of being full of Praise and Complaint at the same time. Lord fill our hearts and thoughts full of YOUR PRAISE!!!

HIS clay,

Melissa

There's No Such Thing as a Cliche Verse

2012-07-14T20:11:00.000-04:00

I have always heard the 23rd Psalm. I think I've had it memorized since I was in Children's Church. You hear it read at every funeral, and even recited by secular rap stars- but I never thought about what it really meant. I've unfortunately always thought of it as a "cliche verse", in which case there's really no such thing. I pray that it blesses you the way that it just blessed me.

Psalms 23 was written by David.

The Lord is my shepherd; -David was a shepherd. Sheep are a very trusting animal.

I shall not want. - the sheep have no worries over tomorrow, what they will eat, what they will drink. Their shepherd provides all of their needs-their only job is to follow their Master.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters. - He's a good Shepherd, who gives good things to His sheep. He doesn't give them His left overs, or what will just "make do", dirty water or just a place to stay. He's a good Shepherd who takes pride in His flock.

He restores my soul. - His presence brings His sheep peace.

He leads me in paths of righteousness
    for his name's sake. - He leads me to do what is right - He takes pride in me, He shows me off. As a shepherd shows off his flock he adores, cherishes and protects.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil,for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff, they comfort me. - It does not matter where His feet may lead me, I will have no fear in the presence of my Master. He guards me from evil and fends off my enemies. - I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.-John 10:11 (ESV)

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; -I can face my fears when He's guiding me. In His presence I am never alone.
you anoint my head with oil;- He blesses me.
my cup overflows.- His love overwhelms me
Surelygoodness (steadfast love) and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life, - When I pursue Him, when I follow Him, when I cling to His side, His Blessings will never cease!
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord

forever. - and I will forever remain in the presence of my Good Shepherd!

I was thinking about all the times as a sheep, I ran off from the flock. I wound up chasing butterflies or something else and lost sight of my Master.

Don't we, so often, start chasing after something else and somehow wind up stuck in the thorn bushes? Crying out for our Shepherd and sometimes having the audacity to blame Him saying "Why did You bring me here? Why have You left me?" When I'm the one that left and it started when I began chasing after something else?

Then I am overwhelmed at the realization that I have "the Good Shepherd". He doesn't roll His eyes and think - "I told you so. Too bad, so sad." Nope I have "the Good Shepherd" who instead:

...If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them has gone astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray? And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray.- Matthew 18:12-13

He chases after you with His steadfast love, rejoicing when He finds His little one. In those days of shepherding; if a shepherd had one of his sheep run off, when he found him, break his legs and carry it across his shoulders, to retrain that lamb to remember his masters voice and for the lamb to remember the goodness and provision found in the master's presence.

Lord I pray to have complete trust in You, as a lamb does for it's shepherd. May I know Your presence and bask in Your goodness. Lord break my legs if it will draw me deeper into Your presence. Increase my faith.

Your Clay,

Melissa

Beautiful Feet

2012-05-14T10:13:00.000-04:00

For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.”For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile —the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent?

As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”

-Romans 10:10-15

This morning I was listening to this song, and I am so struck by it. I wonder if we have an enormous amount of Christians that think, "Hey, Lord, you send me to India (or insert your destination) and I will Go. I will preach Your good news. Oh wait, but I can't go Lord because I don't have the finances....sorry. Maybe next time."

But what I can't get over is, Why am I not being Missional WHERE I AM! How dare I be so audacious to think, "Lord, You send me somewhere that no one knows me, where I can pretend to be this Christian that has it all together and I will tell them how they can have it all together too." How dare I think that I could live my life any differently in a different location. If I'm not sharing the gospel - HERE- I doubt I will be comfortable enough with it to share the gospel -there.

If I feel that the Lord is telling me to "GO" - Why am I wasting so many opportunities to "GO" here.

Because I don't know how?

On a Mission Trip you generally have a leader that gives you organized activities, these activities sometimes present the opportunity to share the gospel. That is do-able.

Do not get me wrong - I am not knocking Mission Trips. My life and heart have been dramatically changed by Mission Trips, but my concern is that outside of that or Vacation Bible School, we are Christians who do not know how to share our faith in our daily setting.

Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from ME you can do nothing.

-John 15:4-5

My concern is that we train people how to follow these simple steps, that someone magically created and not how to recognize the Holy Spirit's prompting. We teach people how to trust us, over how to seek Him.

How can I serve the Lord if I don't know how to follow Him?

Following God is not a Big Yes at one moment. Meaning God doesn't usually speak to your heart and say "Jim Bob, I want you to go down to 3rd street, say "Hulla Ballew" and 19,000 people will come to know me."

Following God is learning how to remain in Him, moment by moment. It's not a "Yes Lord, now You tell me: who, what, where, when and why...Oooh and if You could give me some sort of time table - that'd be great. I'll get these things checked off for You. Glad to be of service."

He says Follow ME! "I (not My holy to-do list) will make you Fishers of men."

Kind of like taking a road trip with a friend, I'm in the drivers seat, not knowing the destination, as He gives me turn by turn directions - Will I trust His every turn and direction or do I have more faith in the map?

How dare we claim to be following Christ, when we have yet to learn how to Remain in Him? How can we say that we are serving Him, when we don't know how to follow or seek Him?

I am married to my husband, and I love finding ways to surprise him and make him feel loved. The best way to do that is by getting to know him. If I were to surprise him by waking up early to make him a pot of coffee, even though he would probably smile and appreciate the effort, he would not be pleased because he hates coffee. We can't do that for God either. How can I please Him without getting to know Him?

So when I say, "I will Go!" Will I "Go" - here, as well as there? Will I come up with excuses? Will I seek to Know Him, Remain in Him, Follow Him - moment by moment?

His Clay,

Melissa

Being Put in my Place

2012-04-09T10:05:00.002-04:00

I took my children to go and visit their Grandparents in South Carolina last week. That, by the way, is a 6+ hour drive. With a van that is having some problems, I can honestly tell you, that drive can make me a little anxious and impatient at times.

At one point on the way back to Kentucky, I looked back at my son and noticed that he drew with green crayon all over my freshly washed window by his seat. The words I felt coming to my lips were less than encouraging or building up. I mean, he's 5, shouldn't he know better? Do I really have to tell him "everything"? I knew my attitude was less than... and I knew my words had potential to be hurtful, so I took a moment and Prayed before I spoke. "Lord, what do I say here. I can't be passive, but I don't want to hurt his feelings either."

The Lord graciously changed my tone of voice and Oh my goodness I'm so grateful He did. He changed my words and my reaction to say: "Jaxson, What did you do? Do you think that was a good idea?" He said: "Look Mommy. I made you a pretty picture with my favorite color, Green. I thought it was a good idea because I was making it for you and I thought you would think it was beautiful. Do you like it?"

Oh how my words would have unknowingly crushed his precious spirit if I hadn't surrendered them to the Lord. I then took the opportunity to Praise his artwork and tell him that it's beautiful but I'd rather have it on paper, so I could keep it forever, and we calmly talked about appropriate places to color.

Lord, place a seal over our mouths. Help us to constantly remember that our children are constantly being shaped by our actions and reactions. May I encourage them in You and never discourage them from being the Young people You created them to be. May I be worthy of the precious gifts You've entrusted me with.

YOUR clay-

Melissa Bradley

"Godspeed" is on my playlist because nearly 10 years ago I used to listen to this song on repeat, praying over my future children and daydreaming about what it would be like to be the mom of a precious baby boy. I daydreamed about the Super Hero stage (that he just so happens to be in right now). The day's he would be so worn out from saving the world from Supervillian's and Bad Guys that he would accidentally fall asleep on the couch, still in his cape.
I listen to it to remind myself just how precious and fleeting these days are and that no matter how exhausted and overwhelmed I am, to treasure my precious "Spiderman".

Rocks My Socks Off!

2012-03-26T11:21:00.003-04:00

"This is My command: Love one another"... You know this verse? Yeah, it's short and sweet and I think it's on at least a thousand book marks. But if you've grown up in Church you've probably always seen it in a Cutesy, on a child's T-Shirt way that I always have.

Here's the full verse.
This is My command: Love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends.-John 15:12-13 (HCSB)

That's not cute-sy. That's hard core!

How has Christ Loved you?

I spoke to the teens about this yesterday at church, but what if you, as my friend or my acquaintance, were standing in front of an 18-wheeler you didn't see it but I did. I jumped in front of it taking the fatal hit and pushing you out of the way.

Everyone would think that was awesome! Aw, what a heroic and noble act. Stories about the Good Samaritan would be on the front page of the local newspaper and maybe even on the national headlines.

Is that the kind of love God calls us to? If He says, "Love one another as I have loved you." Is that how He loved us?

Although I think that would be noble, I don't think it grasps Christ's love. Because truthfully I could do that out of a "spur of the moment instinct" myself, without Christ doing it through me.

But what if it was your worst enemy? What if it was that person who hated you. Who spread deceiving, lies and rumors about you. Harmed your children. Cursed and spat upon you. Hated you so much that they were plotting your death. What if they were standing in front of an 18-wheeler they didn't see? You came and pushed them out of the way and took the brutal death in their place.

That's Crazy! That's not easily explained or understood...
THAT's Christ's love!

That's what He knowingly did on our behalf. He knew who we'd be. He knew what a sinner we would become. He knew how often we would deny Him, out of fear for our reputation. He knew how we would intentionally hurt His children. HE knew all of this and yet died in our place anyway.

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.-Romans 5:8

Pushing someone out from in front of a truck is kind of extreme though, that doesn't happen everyday, but here's things that do. This is how we are to love like Christ daily. When someone deeply hurts you, destroys your trust or mistreats you - do you love them anyway. Are our affections easily earned or quickly lost, are we distrusting for fear of being hurt? Do you love despite your fear, because we aren't supposed to love for what we can get out of a relationship in the first place...If we're loving like Christ.

I mean we should go out of our way to treat them with respect and; well...this is an area that needs to be surrendered to Christ so that He can do it through us...because our desire is not to/it can't be, to impress Christ. His desire is not for us to "be good for Him" His desire is for us to be Like Him. For us to surrender daily to be molded into His image. To imitate Him as dearly beloved children. (Ephesians 5:1-2)

To love one another as Christ has loved you, requires a daily laying down of pride and self. It is daily saying, "not me but You Lord". It is daily not looking to be good or to do the good moral thing, but wanting to look like Christ and seeking His direction, which can't be done without consulting Him first.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! - Romans 5:6-9 (NIV)

That a Perfect Savior would die my death, that I deserved, to satisfy the righteousness of God on my behalf...

- that, "That's" The Love of Christ....!

THAT, my friend, Rocks my Socks Off!

HIS clay~
Melissa Bradley

Do you see this?

2012-03-24T11:26:00.008-04:00

What do you see when you see this picture?

I see children that I long to run to wrap in my arms, kiss them, clothe and provide for them.

I wonder about what all these tiny, precious, innocent eyes have had to see in their short lives.

I wonder if these children have parents, or anyone to provide for them.

I wonder if they're being fed, nutured, taught, cared for, loved...

All of this pain we're looking at is in other countries. I send the resources I can and pray, "Lord, if You send me...I Will Go!"

I will Go!

Show me what You want me to do from here, but if You send me, I Will GO!......

As I prayed that prayer many years ago, and continue to daily, this is what He has shown me...

This is where He's planted me for right now....America.

A Missionary doesn't become a missionary because God sends them over seas...a Missionary is someone who accepts the call and is Planted. Anywhere, and freely gives to those who are equipped and sent to go over seas!

This is where I'm planted.

This is America. Do you see them?

The girl who's lost both her parents to abuse and drugs. The child who should know unconditional love but instead is on her own at 4 years old..?

The child who doesn't have support, or love at home. Isn't sure if she'll even get to eat tonight..?

The child down your street who listens to her parents fighting every night, and watches as her father beats her mother, and tries to get away before he turns on her?

The teenager struggling with depression. Without any friends. Without parents to care about where she is or who she is with. She is questioning life, questioning her existence, questioning her value and worth....

Do you see them?

This is America.

We so often get sidetracked by these heart breaking images, that we miss the pictures all around us. Worst of all we miss the Big Picture.

All of it.... It's SIN! All of it. Our entire world: China, Africa, Japan, Indonesia, America... is filled with brokenness, Hopelessness and Sin!

All of the people in the images are in Desperate need of a Savior...

These happy girls in the hall of your school

These teens sitting on the sidewalk in your neighborhood park.

Will we Go there...?

That child whose eyes are filled with preciousness and is filthy from head to toe. :)

She needs a Savior.

Whether it's a precious stranger you meet at the park...

The Next Door Neighbor you've never met...

The receptionist or traveler you run into....

The Employees you run into at the grocery store...

Your child's teacher...

Or Just an insanely busy mom...

We're All the Same! We're All Sinners in desperate need of a Savior...

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.- John 15:13 (NIV)

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! - Romans 5:6-9 (NIV)

Do you see them? Will you go? Are we being missionaries where we're planted? Are we going where we've been called?

....

Linked With:

These Five of Mine Plus Two

Mommy Invisibility

2012-03-16T11:18:00.009-04:00

My life is full and my hands are full! I don't get to do a whole lot outside of my immediate daily responsibilities but I'm in Love with my life! So Blessed that God has entrusted me with SO MUCH! My hope is to be a 100% Christian, meaning every aspect of my life is used in service to the Lord. Even when you realize you have a case of "Mommy Invisibility".

Image Credit

Mommies are the one's who change a thousand diapers, wash dishes, sweep and mop floors, magically wash clothes and have them folded, clean the bathrooms twice a day because of young potty-ers and are Master toy picker uppers, nose wipers, boo-boo-fixers, fight breaker uppers, prepare 3 meals a day for 6ppl., teachers, tutors, Prayer Warriors, Child Advocates, potty plungers, trash taker outers and so much more but we somehow have people think that mommies don't do anything....Thus Mommy Invisibility.

Granted it may hurt our feelings for a moment but we have to realize, we don't do these things for the thanks or immediate gratification; we do it as unto the Lord.

Our small acts of service are acts of Love pointing our families to Christ. We're teaching them how to run a household. We're teaching our small ones conflict management and most importantly we're teaching them how to treat one another as Christ wants them to be treated. We're teaching them to view conflict through the mind of Christ. Our every action is shaping their tiny hearts and shaping their world view - What a Huge responsibility!

We're teaching them, by example, how to have the Fruit of the Spirit and how to withstand everything this world is going to throw at them. We're in constant prayer for them to be able to endure life's challenges as a reflection of Christ.

So we should take invisibility as a compliment, because truthfully we shouldn't want to be seen. We need to live to reflect and pour out Christ's love on our children!

We should consider invisibility as: "I must be doing something right if I make it look so easy" ;)

Proverbs 31:10-31 (NIV)

A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
...
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
^...

²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
^...

²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. ³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

If you suffer from a case of Mommy Invisibility, know that it's a beautiful place to be and a beautiful calling to accept. Next time you mop for the 3rd time in a day and have run yourself thin and no one seems to see it, know that invisbility is sometimes a symptom of being a Beautiful Proverbs 31 Wife!

Truth vs. Junk Food

2012-02-28T10:45:00.007-05:00

I recently started Weight Watchers. I love it. Well, the principals are really easy to understand and live by, I love that part-not the doing. Every time I diet I consider how easy, it is to study the principals of the diet, dedicate it to memory, be able to recite it to others and act like a know it all when someone asks a "How To" question. I could even roll my eyes, in judgement, at someone who doesn't diet and probably should. :(

Kinda like Christians. So many of us have been fed the word of God our entire lives. We can recite the principals, some memory verses, may even have a few catchy T-Shirts. I can turn my head in disgust when I see someone in sin. I can tell you what you should and shouldn't do. We may even think we have "All the Right Answers".

But what's the point in studying all of those Dieting principals if we're not applying them. What's the point in filling my head with all of that knowledge and chowing down on a Big Mac? How can I be living out the diet plan; and look at someone, who needs to diet but isn't, with disgust and not with compassion. Since I know exactly how hard it is to diet. Wouldn't I instead become their biggest encourager - Because I've been there?

I think the biggest problem with the "Kinda Like Christians" is that we're "Kinda Like Christians". We grew up being fed principals and never realized we had a "Sin Problem". We were born into the church and were accepted and learned to live a lifestyle that looks- "Kinda Like Christians."

I heard this verse this past weekend and the Lord has brought it to mind repeatedly.
But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.- James 1:22 (ESV)

Whats the Difference?

Do you know that gossip is wrong - but the Holy Spirit inside of you is not convicting you of it...
Do you know that negativity (always finding complaints for everything) is wrong - but the Holy Spirit is not convicting you?
Do you Know that Lying is wrong - but there's no conviction?
Meanness...
A Critical Spirit...
Do you struggle with a constant fear of others (Self Conscience) ....but you've never stopped to consider that's something the Lord wants to free you from.
Do you struggle with Pride or you never considered that you should...
Do you have the Fruit of the Spirit (or are you daily fighting for it) Gal. 5:22
Do you consider the needs of others above your own?
Has the Lord filled you with compassion for the lost, broken, wounded, neglected...others?

The reason I mention the above is because these are not things you can fake. These are things that as your pursue Christ, He begins working on your heart in these areas or areas like this. Only His work can overcome these.

This is How I Do not doubt God's presence; because I played "Kinda Like Christian" until I was 24yrs old. I remember clearly who I was without His presence in my life and He's graciously continuing to remove these differences.

Am I trying to get you to question your faith? I Absolutely am! Not out of harsh judgement or condemnation but, look at the High Price you'll pay if you Don't! So many times the bible calls us to examine ourselves - Read the entire book of 1 John. Examine yourself!

Know, for certainty, that you have not been blinded by having a knowledge of truth, without Living a life of Truth!

Let me warn you of our immediate tendency to compare ourselves to our brother, who's not our FATHER. Examine your life up next to HIS.

I'm not suggesting here a works based salvation. The question is: is He changing your life.

I would look like a fool to tell you I was late for work because I was just run over by a train but I had no apparent marks or bruises. How much more foolish is it for me to say I've had an encounter with the HOLY GOD but I look the same?

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test! - 2 Corinthians 13:5 (ESV)

Image Credit

Are we feasting on truth or junk food?

HIS clay~

Melissa Bradley

Linked With:

A Pause on the Path - Mrs. Shanda Oakley

Teach Me

2012-02-20T11:19:00.006-05:00

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Teach Me

Teach me to be Loving; when I feel unloved.

Teach me to recognize the needs of others; when I feel most needy.

Teach me to have a gentle, quiet heart; when I want to cry out of frustration.

Teach me to seek Your face; when I get focused on me.

Teach me to surrender my judgements of others; when I feel judged.

Teach me to have Your heart; when mine is so easily broken.

Teach me to be humble and teachable; when I feel I have all the answers.

Teach me to trust solely in You; when I'm drowning in insecurity.

Teach me to remember all of my offenses; when I feel offended.

Teach me to lay my life down and recognize the needs of others above my own.

Teach me to live my life as a reflection of my love for You; when I'm tempted to crawl back in bed and hide under the covers.

Teach me to be bold in my witness; when my heart is filled with fear.

Teach me to be confident in You alone; Proud of You alone; to acknowledge all greatness and glory as Yours alone; to accept Your Truth above this world's wisdom; to accept Your desires above my own.

Teach me to be made less to Make you More.

Teach me to be Your clay!

Linked With:

...And I Knew He was the One {Ashlie Oestreich}

2012-02-14T08:52:00.000-05:00

I am so excited to be closing out ...And I Knew He was the One, with Ashlie from One Small Town Girl.

Don't Forget that TOMORROW is your last day to link-up your Love Story!

Please Welcome

Ashlie Oestreich

from

One Small Town Girl

Beautiful Mommy Feet
...........

Why is My Marriage so dry? {On Garden Hoses & True Love}

I'm one of those hopeless romantics.

Call me cheesy, but I love a happy ending, "twuuue wuvvv" (thank you, Princess Bride) and I love it when the damsel in distress is rescued by the handsome warrior.

The thing is, I've found that I've put a lot of Christian labels on a lot of my fairytale-like expectations just so that I could feel good about them, and honestly, because I really thought I was doing the right thing.

Let me just say that I believe that marriage is a beautiful gift. I do believe that God created us to crave connection, and I believe in seeking the Lord continually regarding our marriages, or relationships in general so that He receives the glory.

But, the fact that we're human often gets in the way of the part where He receives the glory. And intimacy with Him and in our marriages becomes a tad estranged.

Early in my marriage, I became so completely focused on having a Godly relationship that I failed to remain focused God Himself.

Yes, I wanted His will. Yes, I wanted to honor Him. Yes, I wanted us to grow in our walks with Him. (All good things.)

But tucked inside my fairytale ideas and expectations was the idea that a Godly, intimate marriage relationship would facilitate an intimate relationship with God.

I didn't mean for it to be like that, but when I allowed God to examine my heart, that's what was there. It seemed as though when things were harmonious and smooth in my marriage, I was much more consistent with my time in the Word and in prayer. And when things began to unravel, I would still be on my knees, but my mind and heart were all over the place. I was fidgety, begging for answers, confused, discontent, and wondering what in the world was going on.

"And he answered, "Love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength, and with all your mind, and Love your neighbor as yourself." - Luke 10:27

I had it backwards, friends. You see, there's a reason why the Bible tells us to love the Lord our God with all of our heart, soul, and strength and then to love our neighbor. The first is paramount in order for the second to even become possible. The only way to experience true love and intimacy with our neighbor (like our closest neighbor - our spouses) is to obtain it from the Source of Love. The only Love that can truly fill is Love Himself. Even the most romantic, sweep-you-off-of-your-feet, follow-the-marriage-books-to-a-T relationship will fall painfully short of fulfilling a place that was meant only for Him.

I've tried so many times over the years to take my marriage and make it stretch to fill the corners of my heart (and, who am I kidding - I still fall into this often if I'm not careful!). I would tug, pull at the edges, read books, pray, seek counsel, and no matter what I did - it came up short.

This idea of loving Him first may seem like a no-brainer if you've been in Christian circles for any length of time. But I've found that the ways we get tripped up are often sneaky. I'm sure you've heard the saying, "When Satan tempts you, it won't be to rob a bank." It's true. He will never dangle something crazy in front of our faces - he's too smart for that. He knows that the best way to trip up a Christian is to make them think they're doing God's will. It's often something good, with all of the right intentions (we know where those lead!), but without God at the center of it, it leads down a path of futility and wasted energy.

I'm reminded of a time when I was helping my mom with her garden, and it was my job to water the long rows of plants. I swore I had turned the water on full blast, but alas, when I walked over to pick up the end of the hose, a small trickle of stale, lukewarm water came out of the end and soon came to a sorry halt. I waited, shook the hose to get any kinks out, expecting a gush to arrive. But, clearly, there was no water coming for those thirsty plants.

Muttering under my breath, I walked over to the hydrant and realized there were two hoses. They looked exactly alike, and I had mistakenly grabbed the one that wasn't attached. The one hooked up was trailing into the yard, and a gushing stream of fresh, cold water was creating a huge, needless puddle in the grass. With my unattached hose, however, I would have been waiting quite a long time for water to come considering there was only air at the other end.

Isn't this often like us? Thinking we're doing all of the right things, that we're hooked up to the source, only to be left scratching our heads when things go dry? This reminds me of my futile attempts to revive and strengthen my marriage when it felt like my hose had a trickle at best. Have you ever tried to water a garden with a hose that's not hooked up to the hydrant? There might be leftover water in the hose, and if you shake it, you might be able to spread a few drops over the plants. If I had stood there all day, waiting, shaking the almost-empty hose, those plants would soon shrivel up.

I thought I'd done it all right - I mean, I'd turned on the hydrant, hadn't I?

The hose that wasn't hooked up to the hydrant is like our own expectations, our plans, our understanding, and what seems like the "right way". How many times have I turned on the hydrant and been left frustrated and staring at a shriveled garden? It wasn't because there wasn't water coming out of the Source - I had just chosen the wrong way to get to it.

I became engulfed in finding true love within my marriage, but ignored True Love Himself. After all, wouldn't things be so much smoother if we were having lots of devotionals together? If my husband would just lead the way he was supposed to, and if I would just be the submissive wife of Titus 2? If I would just figure out the respect thing, and he would just figure out the love and dwell with your wife with understanding thing, then God's presence would be made manifest right there in our living room...right?

Not really. Please don't think I'm undermining those important principals of marriage - they are necessary for a healthy relationship. But without God's true love as the source - it becomes exactly what the Apostle Paul writes about in 1 Corinthians 13:1

"Though I speak with the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal."

We can be doing all of the right things with all of the right goals, and still completely miss the point.

I start to really understand that annoying clanging cymbals thing when I'm standing at the end of that empty garden hose wondering where I went wrong.

The cold, fresh water is still there, my friends. Which hose are you using?

"There is a way that seems right to man, but the end of it leads to death." - Proverbs 16:25

More About Ashlie: Ashlie is a wife to her high school sweetheart, mommy of two little girls, dreamer, thinker, thrift store shopper, recovering perfectionist, and sinner saved by grace.

Ashlie’s heart is to encourage fellow sojourners in the midst of her own struggles. Seeing others discover His vast love and grace makes her do a happy dance! She endeavors to seek God’s truth in the journey while finding His grace in the mess, knowing that at the end of the day, it really is all about Him.

She loves winding gravel roads, muddy romps, and country life, yet Starbucks, skinny jeans, and pedicures hold a special place in her heart, too. This creates a bit of a conundrum that she is still trying to figure out. Lovely word pictures, insane amounts of coffee, silly times with her family, and chocolate make her world go ’round.

Visit her at One Small Town Girl, where writing through her journey gives her a place to breathe. She tweets as @AshlieWrites and can be found on Facebook as well.

...And I Knew He was the One {Lindsay Evatt}

2012-02-13T00:01:00.005-05:00

I am so glad to have my precious friend Lindsay back to writing again. She just blesses my heart! She had to take a little break over the last few months and I've missed her greatly! Anyways so glad to have my sweet friend Guest Posting today!

Please Welcome

Lindsay Evatt

from

Evatt's Beautiful Mess

Beautiful Mommy Feet!

.........................

We recently moved.

In our 6 years of marriage, this was our 4th move! I'm growing to hate it! However, there is always one thing I enjoy about moving; the day when I find "the box"! Unpacking is such an arduous task, and it seems to take longer and longer with each move no matter how much junk I think I have eliminated! On my last adventure of unpacking and sorting, it took much longer to go through "the box" and take a walk down memory lane!

You see, "the box" just keeps growing! "The Box" is filled with letters, cards, gifts, pictures, and other random memorabilia exchanged between me and my husband. "The box" is a welcomed trap to deter me from further work of unpacking! With each move, I have usually taken a whole day just sitting and looking through everything. With a recent upgrade to a bigger box, it took much longer this time around! I added all of my journals, overflowing with thoughts and emotions of a teenager/young woman(Me)! I usually laugh until I cry, and cry until I laugh when I read through the story of my life! But there is always one journal in particular, that always reminds me how God works so mysteriously. It's the journal of the year me and my boyfriend were apart. Literally, WE BROKE UP! For some, this may not sound too serious, but to me, it was tragic! We like to refer to this journal as the "roller coaster journal"!

Wesley and I met in church, at the ages of five and seven! We grew up in church together and became great friends, only to start dating when I was 15 and he was 17! We then went off to the same college, and never dreamed we would ever be apart! But after dating for 5 years and two years away from our assumed marriage, we broke up!

Thus my "roller coaster journal" is filled with days in which I really was depending on God to help me through everything, and then other days that I was mad at God and couldn't understand why God wouldn't just let me and Wesley be happy together! Though "young love drama", it was still very real and painful at times!

Going through all of the ups and downs of the break up would be another story in itself, but in brief, we both needed that time away from one another to realize we were taking each other for granted, and depending too much on one another and not enough on God! I was sucking the life out of Wesley because I was so needy and clingy, seeing that he was the only boyfriend I ever had! I also imagined myself as a minister's wife, and he was not feeling the leading in that direction at all! He, on the other hand, had just lost a ton of weight, and wanted to get out there and live life with this new found attention he was getting from everyone for looking so hot! We were a mess!

It took us a year to grow up a little and learn some hard lessons, but we began to work on a friendly relationship, assuming that we would never be "together" again! God had different plans though! Big surprise! :) Just like God always does, He brought the conclusion to our saga, after we had finally resolved that our only hope was to TRUST HIM FOR EVERYTHING! One night, after both of us earnestly prayed in the altar after a church service, we continued our thoughts and prayers in the basement Sunday school classes of the church we had grown up in. We talked for a VERY LONG TIME, and the Lord spoke clearly to both of our hearts! We left the room holding hands, though a very strange, yet glorious feeling! More importantly, we left that room resolved that we could face this world together in true love if we always placed Him above all else in our relationship and in our personal lives!

This May, we will be 8 years removed from that day in the basement of our old church! (The church we were married in just a year later!) In our seven years of marriage, we have brought three precious children into this world, moved 4 times, and haven't had two nickels to rub together most of that time, but God has been faithful! HE hasn't answered all of my/our questions about life and what things He still has in store for us, but we still live with the resolve that we love HIM more than ANYTHING, and we are trusting HIM for EVERYTHING!

Marriage is tough, but when God put us together He knew we would bring Him greater glory together than apart! Yet in His mysterious way of working, we had to be apart for that year to realize that we were not trusting Him enough! Although that year was down right miserable, for the both of us, it brought us even closer, and I am so happy to be serving the Lord side by side with my very best friend! For the 23 years that I've known this very best friend, he has only increased his love that he has for me, and I him, because we love each other out of our devotion to Christ!

We have enjoyed serving in ministry together, and learning the ropes of having a family together. It's not easy some days, and maybe that's why we've moved 4 times in our 6 years of marriage. God wants me to constantly remember! Each time I find "the box", I feel entirely too special, and so undeserving of such a wonderful man! God truly placed us together!

I'm reminded of the Children of Israel! Boy, what a journey they had! But in Deuteronomy Chapter 8, he gave specific instruction to "remember how the Lord you God led you all the way". Some of the experiences were awesome; manna from heaven, Red Sea split, and clothes and shoes growing along with them. (Just to name a few) While other experiences of life down right stink! They are to "humble you and test you in order to know what is in your heart, whether or not you will keep His commands."

Phew! Doesn't that speak alot about life in general! I'm so glad that I am with THE ONE to face the amazing AND stinky times of life! I will always take the time to REMEMBER the journey too, so we will be found worthy to "go and possess the land"!

The day Wesley and I walked out of that basement, hand in hand, I KNEW HE WAS THE ONE! Yet, everyday with him (and HIM), helps me to know that he still is, and will always be THE ONE FOR ME!

Just a FEW items from "my box"!

Do you have "a box"?

What type of stuff do you keep there?

If you don't have "a box", I encourage you to start one! Write down all the memories you can possibly think of and store them away along with cards and other special gifts from your spouse! In the trying times of marriage and life, pull out your "box" and REMEMBER where the Lord has brought you from and where He has promised to take you! Take the box out on Valentine's Day or your Anniversary each year and REMEMBER!

Lindsay is a wife, mom, nursing student, and most importantly, a disciple of Christ!
She enjoys blogging over at The Evatt's Beautiful Mess. Along with her fellow mess-makers; Wesley, Bella, Nate, and Marleigh, Lindsay enjoys blogging about the messy realities of life and how God makes them beautiful! They make their home in the upstate of South Carolina, and enjoy serving Christ together with the talents the Lord has blessed them with!

Planking

2012-02-12T21:28:00.001-05:00

Planking is pretty funny. It cracks me up how something so simple has caught on in such a huge way. The part that's funny is that it's completely random and unexpected. The video I've attached keeps me laughing at how very creative people can be in their "Planking". :)

Recently I've been praying for ways to sacrifically serve others, to show them the love of Christ.

My parents are complete opposites, and I joke that because of their crazy opposite gene's, I turned out to be an Introverted-Extrovert. Which means I can't stop talking or doing Extraverted things but as soon as I do, I'm embarassed, lol!

So that makes what I'm about to say Really hard on me. :)

I've started praying for the Lord to lay people on my heart that have a need. Everytime I do He brings at least one person to mind. There's a difference between Him doing it and it being a random person I'm thinking of - He plagues me with this person, brings them to mind repeatedly and as soon as I start to try and push it aside He makes it even louder. (He has to do this because I struggle with praying and then immediately being sucked back into "Life" and forgetting what I prayed. Does anyone else do that?)
So then I begin to pray that the Lord would lay on my heart how I can serve them and show them the love of Christ.

Side Note: Who He brings to mind is not always non-Christians. It's often sisters in Christ! We must never have the mindset that the only people that need the love of Christ are non-Christians.

Everytime He answers it's random. Completely out of my comfort zone - Makes me feel like a weirdo to ask ... Random.

~Insert Introverted-Extrovert and minor freak out of "Lord, Really? That...? But what if they're offended? What if they think I have ulterior motives? What if, What if, What if...?"
Think Moses at the Burning Bush, questioning, and you've got the embarrassing picture. :)

I KNOW it's crazy! I just asked, HE just answered - why can't I just trust?

You know the first "Planker" had to have been dared by his friends. He had to feel a little bit awkward. ok, maybe alot! But he had alot of friends cheering him on, laughing in the back ground and taking pictures to put on Facebook. :)

We don't want that audience.

Matthew 6:1-4 (NIV)

“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. “So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

We don't want to earn anything from this random act of Christ's love. Our only desire should be to Glorify God through our lives; by being the Hand's and Feet of Jesus! Not trying make a friend or earning their affection, like a self-serving politician. It's to point to Christ only!

My point is- surrendering to be the Hands and Feet of Jesus, comes at a sacrifice, comes at a little risk of embarrassment. But my prayer is that this mindset will one day become such a part of the Christian Community the way that "Planking" has such a part of the world!

Because attempting to do some of these things makes me feel as awkward as I would feel by Planking on an Airport Escalator. :)

HIS clay,

Melissa Bradley

Don't Forget to Link-Up your Love Story! :)

Back in the Day

2012-02-11T15:29:00.002-05:00

I was so cool in my
permed hair and
multi colored spandex!

I was just in my kitchen doing the "Dishes Dance" with my IPod and this song came on that I had never heard, but it was cracking me up - Back in the Day by KJ-52. Talking about how cool we were as teenagers. How hot we thought we were in all the latest styles. Boyfriend/girlfriend goofy phone calls. Etc.

It caused me to reflect back on all the things I thought were Big Deals. Like the way I looked, who I hung out with, the break ups, boyfriend status and so on. How petty I was and how small my world was. So many things I wish I knew then. So many things I wish I could go back and gently tell that little girl, "Quit worrying over who you're going to marry. God's going to take care of that. Don't worry over these little disputes between friends, it will pan out, and if it doesn't - Life Goes On! Enjoy these Days! Because even though this is all you know for the moment and it's hard to see past that, this time is fleeting and you will never get it back!"

It's 10 yrs later and I still have worries, they're much different than they were. I still have disputes with friends. I still have unanswered questions, I still have tiny, petty everyday things that consume my thoughts and take me away from what's important.

Which leads me to believe that I will have a 40yr old me wanting to come back to this young mother and say: "It's going to work out! Love those babies and Trust God! When you try to fix it in your own strength you just make it worse. So Love those babies and your husband and leave the rest alone! Enjoy these Days! Because even though this is all you know for the moment and it's hard to see past that, this time is fleeting and you will never get it back!"

What were some of your worries as a teen?
What are some of your worries now?
What do you think you will be thinking about today's concerns 10yrs from now?

James 4:14

Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.

...And I Knew He was the One {Beautiful Mommy Feet Edition}

2012-02-11T00:02:00.003-05:00

Our son Jaxson at 20mos with my husband Trey

As all little girls, when I was growing up I daydreamed about my future husband. I had him all planned out. Tall, dark and handsome. In my imagination I had him penned down to a T and without a doubt he would somehow resemble Dean Cain from "The New Adventures of Superman". :)

I had self designed every detail I wanted in my future husband: personality, height, style, he had to drink coffee, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh and he had to love the Lord - at least I had a clue there. I had to have a husband who was stronger in his faith than I was.

My Sophomore year in college I was on the Baptist Student Counsel. Over Spring Break we went on a planning retreat along with the Mission Team Leaders. I didn't know many people in the group, except Trey, I had met him briefly through a friend the previous semester. So that entire weekend he and I hung out and got to know each other better.

I was too comfortable around him. Within our first few hours together we ended up discussing theology. I really didn't think this could be anything more than a quaint friendship.

We had been dating for about 2 months when we went on separate Mission Trips for the entire summer. We talked every chance we got. I loved talking to him about the Lord, and hearing the things that were happening on his trip.

I thought he was a sweet guy but I could not for the life of me decide if I was interested in him. It was weird, to me, that I was so comfortable around him. Not remotely worried about him thinking about other girls while we were apart. He was so different from other guys. He treated me like I was the only girl in the world.

Also, we're total opposites.

He's quiet and reserved, while I talk even in my sleep!
He's extremely patient, while that's number one on my daily prayer requests.
He's a type B personality, I am an A+ personality.
He hates coffee, I am not sure who I'd be without it.

I could keep going but you get the point.

Everything I had always associated with "Love" this wasn't that, I was so confused. This wasn't sweaty palms, butterflies, worried over security in the relationship, can't help but drool at the mere thought of him, hoping he likes me as much as I like him, etc. He looked nothing like Dean Cain. He's a little shorter than me and he can't tan to save his life. But he was amazing!

He was brought up with the same values as I was. We agreed on how children should be raised. I felt comfortable around his family and he did mine. I saw how he interacted with others and children and the number one selling point was the direction we felt the Lord leading us in our lives was in sync.

He is the most Godly, humble, loving man I know. He treats me like a princess, even when I'm acting like the evil queen. I've never met anyone who has challenged me so much in my relationship with the Lord, not because he's always preaching at me- he never does, it's how he lives. He would never say anything mean or off colored about someone. He knows how to put me in my place :) but it's never with words, it's in how he responds to situations with grace. He's a perfect example of a humble servant leader.

I remain blown away at the thought of how great a husband and father he is. He loves me as Christ loves the Church and seeing his love makes me want to learn how to love better. Don't get me wrong, our marriage isn't always perfect; but when it's not it's usually my fault. Even though he generally takes the blame. :)

I am so grateful I serve a God who knows me better than I know myself. I am so grateful He didn't let me handcraft my husband.

I had no idea what to look for in a spouse, so glad God did! I am thankful that God wrote our love story!

I pray that my son grows up to be just like his daddy and I pray my daughter is blessed to marry a man with such character.

and I Knew He was the One - {Mary Clendenin}

2012-02-10T08:42:00.000-05:00

Please Welcome

Mary Clendenin

writer from

Beautiful Mommy Feet

.................

I first met the one who would become my husband when I was only 13 years old. He was my best friend’s older brother. I thought he was so handsome and nice…I had a crush on him all during my teen years. He was 19 and knew me as his “little sister’s best friend”. He used to pick us up from driver’s ed.

I never dated much and wasn’t allowed to go out until I was 17. Even then, the few nice guys I went out with (usually only one time), I always compared them to Andrew. I didn’t really “know” Andrew, just always liked him and knew there was something special about him. Mom even said that I didn’t think any guy measured up to Andrew…she was right.
I graduated from college and did not have a boyfriend. I was not one to date just for fun and if I didn’t feel that after the first date it would go anywhere, I wouldn’t go back out with the guy. I wasn’t being snobby, I just wanted to save all of my heart and emotions for the one God had picked out for me. Plus, I was very shy.
I had convinced myself that I would be an old maid school teacher. I had also convinced myself that if I did get married, I would either get a good, godly man or a handsome one…not one in the same package. I look back and see silly I was and how little faith I had for the good gifts God wants to bestow on His children.
In 1997, when I was 22 years old…my best friend was killed in a car accident. We took food to the family and I skipped my college graduation to attend the funeral. It really touched Andrew. He called to talk a week later and then started visiting my family. I never really thought it would go anywhere because we were helping each other through the grieving process.
We started dating and getting to know each other. Andrew was as nice as I thought he was. Life had hit him hard with the death of his sister and it was a difficult time for both of us. Grief over her death, guilt over falling in love during that time and that it took her death to bring us together.
We grew closer and enjoyed one another’s company…then he got scared. {I would find out years later why love was so hard for him}. So he said we should quit seeing one another for a while. It was the day before I started my first teaching job. I was devastated and cried most of the day during teacher meetings. That only lasted a few weeks and we started seeing each other again.
We dated for 6 months and then he proposed before Christmas, after asking my parents’ for my hand in marriage and receiving their blessing. We were married 6 ½ months later. I still can’t believe at times that I am married to Andrew...the one I had liked for so many years. A seed was planted in my heart and slowly grew over the years.
We have had a good marriage, but we have had our ups and downs. I am thankful for each day that I had the privilege of loving my husband. I am so thankful for the seed of love that was planted in my heart at a young age. I found out how much I needed that seed that was planted during 2011…when my husband and his siblings were finally able to talk about years of daily abuse {of every type} they received at the boarding school/concentration camp style cult their parents put them in.
It is a very deep, dark, and heart breaking story. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to love and marry Andrew after learning of all this. It is only by God’s grace that he survived - physically and mentally. I am blessed beyond words that he has any desire to know God and walk so closely with Him, because he was only taught that God was a tyrant. I also understood why we had the initial break up in our relationship ~ he had never known love before (unless he was earning it) and wasn’t sure what to do with it.
Finding out about all of this and struggling to make sense of it all took a toll on our lives and marriage. Andrew had been dealing with this for years and had learned how to deal as best he could. He would have never talked about it, but his other sister finally brought things out in the open. It hit me like a ton of bricks between my eyes. I grew up in a normal home and had only read of things that didn’t even come close to this. My mind could not comprehend the evil that my husband and so many children had endured from birth through teens.
I was a roller coaster of emotions, trying to help him heal, be strong for him, and figure out how to move forward and not become buried under the weight of it all. I also had to work hard not to hate those and forgive those who were supposed to love and protect him, not harm him. There were times that I didn’t know how I could make it and thought that this is not what I signed up for…it was just too much to bear.
I thought my dream life had all been a lie. I didn’t understand why he didn’t tell me about all this. I allowed things to become about “me”. I put myself in his shoes (as best I could) and thought about what I would have done. If he had shared all this before we were married, I am not sure what would have happened. I would have been too young and immature in our love to have handled it. I was shocked at all the years I had spent with his family and wondered how I had missed all the pain the children endured.
God has done a great work in our lives this last year. The worst year of my life drove me to a deeper relationship with God. He was the only way that I survived the struggles and didn’t lose my mind…believe me there were days I thought I would. He was the only way we were able to work through the past and move on toward what God had for us. He is the only way our love and marriage grew stronger.
As I look back over our marriage and travel back to the first time I saw Andrew, I am amazed at the journey God has brought us on. His amazing love and grace has sustained us and brought us to a deeper love for one another and a deeper love of God’s grace and plan for our lives.
Oh, by the way, God did answer my silly request… I did get a good, godly, very handsome, kind man …all wrapped up in one package. ;)

Mary is a stay at home wife and mom. She has been married to the love of her life for almost 14 years and they have 2 sons. They live on a busy dairy farm. She blogs about her life and helping others at The Encouraging Home. She writes about home, family, homeschooling, natural living, homeschooling, and the craziness that comes with it all.

and I Knew He was the One - {Jenifer Metzger}

2012-02-09T09:20:00.003-05:00

I am so happy to have my sweet friend Jenifer sharing her love story with us today!

Please Welcome

Jenifer Metzger

from

Sweet Blessings &

Woman to Woman Ministries

Beautiful Mommy Feet

.........

This year my best friend, Jeremy, and I will celebrate 15 years of marriage. I cannot even believe I am saying that. In some ways it feels like we have been together forever (in a good way) and in some ways if feels like yesterday. In only two short years I will have been a wife the same number of years I was not a wife, which is a weird feeling. Yes, I know I just told you my age and yes, I know I just told you that I was married at only seventeen.
Let me start with the time I knew he was the one. At a very young age, I had felt the call of God on my life. I knew that I would be the wife of a minister. When Jeremy and I were dating, I told him this. Sometime later he told me that he thought he felt called to be in ministry with children or youth. He said he was still praying about it but that if he realized he was not called to a minister, then he wanted to give me that out. The ‘okay’ to move on to someone who was called to ministry. I knew right then that this was the man I wanted forever and I knew we would someday be in ministry together. Only a few months later, we were married.
Marriage is hard.
Marriage takes work.
When you marry so young, not only do you have to learn how to be a wife, but you are still learning how to be an adult. Then very soon a little blessing comes along and you have to learn how to be a parent.
In the first six years of our marriage we had four children, went through financial struggles, and suffered serious health issues with our daughter. We had many hard times yet many good times.
Humans in general tend to be selfish creatures. When we marry, we have to learn that it is no longer about me. What I want, my needs, my plans, my money. We now have to take someone else’s thoughts, likes and dislikes, schedule, feelings, and traditions into consideration. This is something that fifteen years later, Jeremy and I are still working on.

These days marriage is throw away. People get married with the plan to divorce at the first sign of problems. Marriage is hardly a few years, let alone forever. Daily I praise God for my husband. My marriage is far from perfect. We have struggles, many of them. We are still learning to mesh our two lives together. But I thank God for a man who has the physical ability and desire to take care of his family, wants to be an active part in his children’s lives, loves to make me smile and desires to please God.
If you are married, I greatly encourage you to pray for your husband daily but to also pray that God would help you be the wife He has called you to be. Be slow to anger and quick to forgive. Express your love and appreciation for your husband each and every day. If you are not yet married, pray this prayer anyway. So that when you do find the right man that you would be the woman God wants you to be.

Bio:
Jenifer is the wife to Jeremy, mother to four blessings from Heaven that she homeschools, founder and co-leader of Woman to Woman Ministries and writer at Sweet Blessings. She is an ordinary woman learning to say yes to God. You can find her at www.jenifermetzger.org

and I Knew He was the One - {Wendy Woerner}

2012-02-08T09:13:00.000-05:00

I am so blessed to be able to see each of these stories as they come in. There's nothing more beautiful than seeing how God weaves two paths and people together.

Please Welcome

Wendy Woerner

Following in His Footsteps

Beautiful Mommy Feet

Don't Forget to Link-Up your Love Story! :)

.......................

I met my husband when I was 15. We were in the same English class at our high school. He sat one row to my left and one seat back. I first noticed him because he was talking to the girl behind me, and he was quoting scripture to her!

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

That caught my attention. Even though I was not attending church at the time, I had been in church enough to recognize the verse. I was not living that verse at the time either, spending a lot of time‘partying’, but I was still impressed. I knew he was someone I wanted to get to know. And I believe now that God thought he was someone I needed to get to know, too. So, one day, I joined their conversation.

A couple of weeks later, he asked me to meet him after the football game that night. This was a big deal to me! I had really grown to like him a lot. He was very cute, very polite, and I didn’t want to disappoint him.

As soon as I got home I found my mom and asked(begged!) her to allow me to go to the game. She said she was not going to take me. I was devastated! I cried, and I remember telling her that if I didn’t go he was going to think that I didn’t like him and I couldn’t bear the thought of that. I did like him so much!

She still made me scrounge a ride to the game.

We dated all throughout high school and I began attending church with him. Though I was saved, I was not really living the Christian life, yet this young man stuck with me. He cared about me, about my happiness. I began to learn and grow, just in little bits, through the time I spent at the church, but I wasn’t living the life yet. We graduated, he entered the Marine Corps, and I went off to Junior College. We were dating long distance, seeing each other as much as we could, but it was tough! I had known I wanted to marry him since about 6 months after we began dating, but my priorities were not what they should have been. I was still spending too much time going to parties, which resulted in some very poor decisions.

My young boyfriend had a good head on his shoulders, though. I remember having a conversation with him and he said these words to me, “I am not going to have a wife who has a bottle in one hand and a baby in the other.” Wow! I was stunned because I did not have an addiction. How could he think that was our future? However, from his perspective, that’s how it looked.

I began to reflect on some choices I had made,and those I was continuing to make. I asked myself, “Am I going to be who my[future] husband expects me to be?” Thus began the real journey to becoming who we are together today.

My husband and I have been married for 16.5years. We have 5 beautiful children. There was a time, several actually, when we were not sure if our marriage could stand the stress of our ‘growing up’ together.We were so young when we found each other! We did not go about things the right way. We got very serious, very quickly. Our decisions were not based on God and His word. But He has been faithful. God keeps His promises!

Though we have had struggles in many areas, we both have held a steadfast belief that we could make it with Christ’s help.Over the years we have sought out churches in whichever area we were living,attended couples’ classes, and read the Word in order to learn and grow closer together,and closer to our God. Our Lord has blessed us abundantly in our seeking. We are not perfect, but we don’t have to be, because Jesus has made us perfect through His sacrifice on the cross.

Through His grace and mercy every day, we are able to continue growing together, raising our children together, laughing together. There are times when we can just look at each other across the room and know we are thinking the same thing. I know he will be there for me,anytime. He is a fabulous provider and an excellent father. He would lay down his life for me. I love him so much and it is only through God’s sovereignty that I could ever be blessed with this husband and the life I am living.
I am a mother and wife, a writer, aunt to a niece and nephews…..only because of Jesus. At any time I may stop, take stock of my life, and think to myself, “He’s still the one,” because I know that God’s hand was in all of it, even when I wasn’t following Him. God promises us in Jeremiah29:11:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

More About Wendy: Wendy Woerner has been married to her husband Karl for 16.5 years. Together they have 5 beautiful children, ranging in age from 16 months to 14 years old. The family has been homeschooling for 6 years and love it! You can find Wendy blogging at www.followinginhisfootsteps.wordpress.com, documenting their days as they seek to follow Jesus along the way.

and I Knew He was the One - {Wendy Woerner}

2012-02-08T09:04:00.000-05:00

I am so blessed to be able to see each of these stories as they come in. There's nothing more beautiful than seeing how God weaves two paths and people together.

Please Welcome

Wendy Woerner

Following in His Footsteps

Beautiful Mommy Feet

Don't Forget to Link-Up your Love Story! :)

.......................

I met my husband when I was 15. We were in the same English class at our high school. He sat one row to my left and one seat back. I first noticed him because he was talking to the girl behind me, and he was quoting scripture to her!

1 Corinthians 6:19-20
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

That caught my attention. Even though I was not attending church at the time, I had been in church enough to recognize the verse. I was not living that verse at the time either, spending a lot of time‘partying’, but I was still impressed. I knew he was someone I wanted to get to know. And I believe now that God thought he was someone I needed to get to know, too. So, one day, I joined their conversation.
A couple of weeks later, he asked me to meet him after the football game that night. This was a big deal to me! I had really grown to like him a lot. He was very cute, very polite, and I didn’t want to disappoint him.
As soon as I got home I found my mom and asked(begged!) her to allow me to go to the game. She said she was not going to take me. I was devastated! I cried, and I remember telling her that if I didn’t go he was going to think that I didn’t like him and I couldn’t bear the thought of that. I did like him so much!
She still made me scrounge a ride to the game.
We dated all throughout high school and I began attending church with him. Though I was saved, I was not really living the Christian life, yet this young man stuck with me. He cared about me, about my happiness. I began to learn and grow, just in little bits, through the time I spent at the church, but I wasn’t living the life yet. We graduated, he entered the Marine Corps, and I went off to Junior College. We were dating long distance, seeing each other as much as we could, but it was tough! I had known I wanted to marry him since about 6 months after we began dating, but my priorities were not what they should have been. I was still spending too much time going to parties, which resulted in some very poor decisions.

My young boyfriend had a good head on his shoulders, though. I remember having a conversation with him and he said these words to me, “I am not going to have a wife who has a bottle in one hand and a baby in the other.” Wow! I was stunned because I did not have an addiction. How could he think that was our future? However, from his perspective, that’s how it looked.

I began to reflect on some choices I had made,and those I was continuing to make. I asked myself, “Am I going to be who my[future] husband expects me to be?” Thus began the real journey to becoming who we are together today.

My husband and I have been married for 16.5years. We have 5 beautiful children. There was a time, several actually, when we were not sure if our marriage could stand the stress of our ‘growing up’ together.We were so young when we found each other! We did not go about things the right way. We got very serious, very quickly. Our decisions were not based on God and His word. But He has been faithful. God keeps His promises!
Though we have had struggles in many areas, we both have held a steadfast belief that we could make it with Christ’s help.Over the years we have sought out churches in whichever area we were living,attended couples’ classes, and read the Word in order to learn and grow closer together,and closer to our God. Our Lord has blessed us abundantly in our seeking. We are not perfect, but we don’t have to be, because Jesus has made us perfect through His sacrifice on the cross.

Through His grace and mercy every day, we are able to continue growing together, raising our children together, laughing together. There are times when we can just look at each other across the room and know we are thinking the same thing. I know he will be there for me,anytime. He is a fabulous provider and an excellent father. He would lay down his life for me. I love him so much and it is only through God’s sovereignty that I could ever be blessed with this husband and the life I am living.
I am a mother and wife, a writer, aunt to a niece and nephews…..only because of Jesus. At any time I may stop, take stock of my life, and think to myself, “He’s still the one,” because I know that God’s hand was in all of it, even when I wasn’t following Him. God promises us in Jeremiah29:11:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

The Accidental Wife - {Guest Post Richele McFarlin}

2012-02-07T00:01:00.004-05:00

I am so honored and excited to have Richele McFarlin sharing her heart today. I am so blessed by her transparency in sharing that not everyone comes from the fairy tale beginnings, however we serve a God that runs to the broken and quickly forgives His children even when we struggle to forgive ourselves.

Please Welcome

Richele McFarlin

writer from

Under the Golden Apple Tree

Beautiful Mommy Feet

and don't forget to link-up your story for the chance to win Paul Tripps book "What Did You Expect?"

.......................................

With pregnancy test in hand I began to pray.

“Please God, not pregnant. Please, not pregnant…not pregnant.”

The strangeness of this prayer was not lost on me. After having lived without the Lord’s guidance for so long I was praying for God to save me from the natural consequence of sin. Desperation drowns out reason.

Weakness flooded my body and my knees buckled. The result window revealed my life would be forever changed. How could this be happening to me now? While the biological answer is simple, I felt like many women in my situation who all of a sudden feel it is unreasonable to expect pregnancy while being unmarried and sexually active.

Shaking fingers dialed my boyfriend’s number. Thoughts of last night’s discussion on the merit of their relationship pierced my mind. He sounded concerned by the tremble in my voice and said he would be right over.

He took the news like hearing a bad weather report. How could he be so calm? His thoughts centered on logistics. Without medical insurance a plan had to be made concerning the financial obligation of the birth. He said that marriage may be the only option since he had insurance through his employment.

Marriage the may be the only option.

My heart shattered.

I tired to scoop up the pieces of my heart but it kept falling through my fingers. Pieces hit the ground and some would forever be embedded in that moment.

The day was not celebrated with throwing rice, flowers, or an elegant reception. It was a day. The next day happened as if it was all a dream.

Was there any hope of a loving marriage and a happy family?

Living outside the will of God is like living in an alternate reality. You doubt where you are and where you should be. The questions you ask yourself are never ending.

Is he the man I should be married to? Am I the wife I should be? Is this the family God intended? Will he ever love me? Does he want to be married to me? Would he have married me if I did not get pregnant?

Mercy, grace, love and forgiveness break down dark walls and shine God’s light into your soul. The Lord can scoop up the pieces. Yes, even the smallest bits and restore your heart. Even on the days you cannot forgive yourself. Even on the days you doubt love exists. Even on the days the pieces seem too small and too jagged to be restored. The Lord wants your heart to be whole and will put it back together as many times as you are foolish enough to break it apart.

Love never left the equation but it was buried by a logical decision to marry. My marriage felt unauthentic since my hand was not asked for on bended knee. I would never have a white gown; a first pregnancy introduced with joy, the reassurance marriage was not forced. I spent years frustrating my husband with unreasonable behavior which disguised pleas for proof of love. I spent years overlooking the proof. The enemy uses a heart determined to stay broken to cast doubt and fear. The enemy will cripple you with the past sin you refuse to leave at the cross. If you live in the shadow of sin long enough your soul will wilt. I love my husband and thank God for him and my family. The Lord has blessed my marriage with love and four reflections of heaven. His mercy did that despite my sin.

My hope is that every woman experiences a pure marriage. Marriage is the picture of Christ’s love. When it is tainted the reverberations last throughout the years as a natural consequence of going outside the will of God. Frail humans were not intended to go down the rocky path of sin. The Lord is protecting you when He demands you walk in spirit and not in the flesh.

If you are an accidental wife I know the questions, doubt and ache in your heart. Be encouraged that the Lord heals brokenness and restores hearts.

More about the heart of Richele McFarlin: Richele is a freelance writer, blogger, and business owner. Most importantly she is a mother of four reflections of God’s love and married to a man who she does not deserve. She is thankful for the trials and blessings that serve to bring her closer to the Lord. She desperately tries to live a purposeful life amongst spilled milk and crumbs on the carpet. You can find her blogging at Under the Golden Apple Tree. You can also find her on Facebook!

And I Knew He was the One -{Guest Post Ann Stringer}

2012-02-06T00:01:00.024-05:00

Here's a post from my sweet friend Ann Stringer from Stringer Mama. I am so excited to have her posting here today. I appreciate her precious friendship so much!

Dont don't forget to link up for the
...and I Knew He was the One
Contest and Link-Up!

~Please Welcome~
Ann Stringer
Stringer Mama
to
Beautiful Mommy Feet

....................

“Dad!!! I really want a boyfriend!”

I sobbed, and I mean SOBBED on my dad’s shoulder. My sister was already planning on marrying her
boyfriend and she was YOUNGER than I was by two years! In just three short months I would be graduating from college and then heading back to literally “no-man’s land” at least, no CHRISTIAN man I would ever dream of marrying lived in no-man’s land.

My hometown was a mere 500 people and our church was only about 30 people so it truly was a place where I would not meet a man of my dreams.

Therefore, I was devastated by this state of singleness I found myself. My dad then told me those horrible, dreadful words that every fiber of my BEING wanted to throw back at him and make him take back. “Maybe God doesn’t want you to get married.” HA! That’s ridiculous! My life verse at
the time was:

“Delight
thyself in the Lord and

He will
give you the desires of thine heart.”

Psalm 37:4

The desire of my heart is to be married. Period. Dad just didn’t understand that! Oh, but he did and as he continued to talk to me I realized that maybe I wasn’t delighting myself in the Lord like I thought I was at all. I had made this demand for a husband and was at that moment throwing a little temper tantrum at my Lord because He wasn’t giving me what I wanted.

It took a little time for this new thought to sink from my head into my heart but within a week my heart and mind had clicked together and I prayed:

“Lord, I don’t
understand why there is no man in my

life because I know it’s
what I desire.

But I want what You
desire for my life to be what I desire.

Please help me be
content with being single if that is what You plan for me.

I know that You are
the only one who can take this ache and emptiness

and fill it up with a love for You.

Amen.”

A week later I was shopping for a house there in that small town two blocks from my parents house and I was excited about this new life I was preparing for myself. I found a house and was in the process of filling out the necessary paperwork to apply for a loan when I got a phone call. It was a man. And he asked me to go on a date with him. Needless to say, I did not buy that house because at the end of that date this pastoral-major classmate asked me to be his girlfriend and within 6 weeks we were engaged.

That man is now my wonderful and amazing husband and even today we still stand in awe about how God brought us together.
I wasn’t the only one who had to find their contentment in God and God alone
first, my husband did too. But when he did, God laid my name on his heart and
that was when he made that call. You can read more about our amazing love story in a 6-part series on my blog, Stringer Mama.

In HIS Grip,

About Ann: Being married to the pastor may seem to be an awe-inspiring position, but for me, I know that life as a pastor's wife is not abnormal from any other woman seeking to serve God with her life. Because there are so many Pastor's wives out there who feel as though they are alone in their attempts to keep their fishbowl or image spotless, I have decided to let people SEE into my fishbowl and in the process encourage other women who will find they are just like me. Women struggle with many of the same things and Pastor's wives are no exception - feel free to come alongside and see how I live my life enjoying the string of responsibilities and loves that God has fashioned just for me on my blog www.StringerMama.com!

I {finally} Know He's the One

2012-02-03T00:01:00.029-05:00

Here's a post from my sweet friend Angela Vance from Hidden Treasures. I am so excited to have her posting here today. She is such a precious treasure to me!
Dont don't forget to link up for the
...and I Knew He was the One
Contest and Link-Up!

~Please Welcome~

Angela Vance

Hidden Treasures

Beautiful Mommy Feet

My husband and I were in totally different groups in Bible college. I have to admit, I didn't like one or two of his friends. He was just different than I was. His clothes were flashy. The first time I ever saw him he was wearing a white suit with a bright blue shirt with white collar and cuffs and a gold tie. That was shocking to me! My dad only ever wore dark suits with "normal" ties.

Then, it happened. I got a job. It was job that I loved! $7.00 an hour to teach in an after school care program. All I had to do was decorate my room, write lesson plans and keep the children busy from 2 to 6 every day. I loved that job! The only problem with the job was my co-teacher. Can you guess who my co-teacher was??? Basically, I wrote up the lesson plans, cleaned and decorated the room and organized things...he played and had fun with the kids. I'm pretty sure he did his best NOT to do a single thing that was on my lesson plans!

Funny side note: The first thing my husband ever said to me was: "You shave your arms, don't you!?!" I was shocked and completely put off. He was sitting beside me while I was writing out lesson plans. He was wasting time, mind you, and I was working, because that's what good employes do...echem... I was about to inform him that none of that was any of his business and ask him what would possess him to ask such a question when I noticed he was looking at my arms - my fore arms. Well, that was relief! I informed him that no, I don't shave my arms I just have little tiny blond hairs and I was very sorry that it was so concerning to him. {Yep,we were off to a great start...!}

Back to the topic...

He jokes around that we do well together because I do all the work and he has all the fun...not much has changed over the years. I do all the planning and he just does whatever pops into his head - even though his ideas are not usually apart of the "plan". He doesn't share my views that planning is half the fun of doing!

{Did I mention marriage takes adjusting? But don't worry. It only took me about 10 years to adjust to this particular difference.}

One day my co-worker didn't show up to work. His grandfather was sick in the hospital. He had gone home to see him. I actually missed him that day at work. Shocking!! I realized that he actually did help and he even made work a bit more fun.

The next day in College Chapel they announced that we should all pray for him because his grandfather had passed away. I found myself crying right there in chapel. I was so sorry for him. I knew this would be hard on him, since he had been raised by his grandfather.

The next time I saw him was the following Monday at work. He walked into the room and sat down. No crazy jokes. No hiding my things to annoy me. He was just quiet. I walked over and sat down beside him. He started talking. He poured his heart out. I sat and listened.

Later that night he called his mother and told her he knew who he was going to marry. Apparently he knew I was the one.... I would have died {or laughed out loud} if I had known what he had said to her that night!

There was still no way in my mind! We spent a good deal of time together. We worked together. We ate dinner together after work every night and on some days he even ate lunch with me. The fact that we had to leave for work right after lunch made eating together seem reasonable and convenient.

The more I got to know him, the more I realized he was a great guy. I asked around. Everyone thought well of him. He was bit "out there"; never knowing a stranger or caring what anyone thought of him. He was more than willing to make a scene if he thought he'd have fun in the process.

He also went on visitation 3 or 4 times a week. I remember asking him why he participated in so many out reach programs. His answer was that he was at Bible College to learn how to reach people. How would he learn if he didn't go out and reach them?? I was impressed with that answer! So, he went to the jails, the University of Tennessee campus, worked a bus route, and sometimes went on church wide visitation too!

He asked me to date him a few different times. Each time I said no. I just didn't see us "together". I finally did say "yes" to him due to his continued asking and my dad insisting that I "give it a try". I strategically said yes right before the end of the spring semester. I figured I'd be safe if I agreed at the end of the semester and let it fizzle out during the Summer break. {Although I did still hope we'd still be co-teachers the next year at work.}

We had fun together for about 3 weeks before the end of that semester. Our first, second and third dates were all church services or camp meetings of some kind. We did allot of talking. There were things that we had to agree on. 3 things in fact.

We had to agree on how children should be raised and trained. We had to agree on discipline BEFORE the wedding.

We had to agree that debt is a bad thing BEFORE the wedding. I was against credit cards and I'm so glad he was too!

We had to agree on doctrinal issues, but that was pretty much not a big issue, since we were at the same Bible college...

I was scared. Not sure of what?? I prayed that God would lead and I promised that I'd just let things happen. I'd walk through whatever doors God opened. I did enjoy the attention. I did miss him when the semester was over and I had to go home. I did wait for him to call me because....I guess because I had nothing better to look forward too?? I was refused to admit that I really liked him.

I don't really remember a day when I decided that he was "the one". I just remember having fun and looking forward to seeing him. I remember laying in my bed one Sunday afternoon reading my Bible and praying and I just felt a perfect peace that I was right to let it all happen. I knew that day that I would probably marry him - if the whole relationship didn't fizzle as I had suspected it might. In fact, I started to get nervous that it might...

Jeremy came to see me on July 4th - one of my favorite holidays. He popped "the question" that day. {That's a rather funny story too. You can read it here!} I said yes and that was the beginning of the whole thing! We dated for approximately 2 months. We were engaged for approximately 11 months and we've been married for nearly 11 years.

I'm not exactly sure when I KNEW he was the one, but I do know that he is the one now.... And that's what counts. I always wanted nothing more than to be a wife and a mother. A wife is to support and encourage her husband and I knew that Jeremy would be a great man. I knew that he was a born leader and that he would be able to influence people. Who wouldn't want to be involved in something like that??

I also knew that he'd never make it on his own! Believe me! He needs help! And so, here I am! I help with whatever I can. If nothing else I can usually find his keys, cell phone or wallet. And believe me, we search for those things nearly every day! See, I'm very necessary!!

We have 4 beautiful children and lots of fun - not much of it is planned though. I am living the life I always dreamed of. I'm a wife and a mother. What more could I want??

I'm glad I Know He's the One...Finally!!

Angela was raised a Military Brat. She met and married her Preacher husband at Bible college. God has blessed them with 6 beautiful children, 2 of which are in Heaven. {4 girls and 2 boys}

Understanding how hard life can be and desiring to love other ladies, Angela took on blogging. You can join Angela at Hidden Treasures where she blogs about the Christian life, children, whole foods, saving money and time, and living a more natural life the way God intended.

Finding "The One"

2012-02-02T00:01:00.008-05:00

I am so excited to have Kathryn Sneed Guest Posting today. She is absolutely precious! I am enjoying getting to know her, she's such an encouragment to me!

~Please Welcome~

Kathryn Sneed:

Singing Through the Rain

Beautiful Mommy Feet

.................................

A lot of people talk about finding "the one". Finding that one person that they can spend the rest of their life with, someone they will love and cherish and that will love and cherish them as well. Some people don't believe in finding "the one". They don't think there is any one person out there that is meant for them. What do I believe? I believe, before I was born God knew exactly who I would be with. He knew my personality, and He knew exactly who to create to be my partner through life. Finding that person is the hard part. I have been asked by a lot of people over the years how I knew my husband was "the one". And I thought I would share my story with you.

Jon and I didn't have that fairytale beginning, I did not like him from the start. There is a lot more to the story of how we met, and you can read more about it here, but I am going to rewind back a little bit. Before college, I was always the shy girl. Quiet, and pretty much afraid of boys, at least talking to them. I had maybe one or two guys like me, but never had a boyfriend, which at the time I was sad about. I look back now and am grateful for that. I did not have to go through all the hurt of wading through boyfriends to get to the one gemstone I ended up marrying.

In college, it seemed all my friends had boyfriends or someone who they were interested in, and I was sad because I had no one. I was shy and quiet, but yet I still hoped that some boy would make the first move in being friends with me and it turning into something more. I remember one night I prayed about it to God. My roommates were all out of the room and I had just started thinking about everything. I told God how I felt, and I even thought about the exact kind of guy I was looking for. Tall (at least a head taller), outgoing (since I was shy), and more!

Again, I will not tell you how we met, that is a story you can read here, but it was crazy how God brought us together, and I started to realize that Jon was all those things I had told God I wanted in a guy! While we were in the "just friends" stage, we both knew we wanted more and we talked about it before we went ahead and started dating. To me, I did not want to just "date around" I wanted to be with him with the intent that we were going to be seeking God to find out if we were the ones God intended for us to marry. We both decided that if at anytime we felt that we were not the ones God intended for us to marry that we would break it off.

Another thing that we did that I liked, is Jon asked my mother's permission to date me. Believe it or not, your parents know you best, and they have good perception about the people you date. Granted, we were at college so my mom was not able to meet him until later, but just asking her permission shows that we wanted to honor our parents in getting their opinion, and that we cared what they thought of our relationship.

We got together officially in October 2005, but in March of 2006 I broke it off. I will not get into the details of what happened, as there were many factors that played into it, including friend's opinions, pressure, and stress. But I remember that night, tears pouring down my face wondering if this was the right decision or not. I had been praying about it for awhile asking God to show me some sign. And I believed it was the right thing to do. The next day, I remember waking up and immediately everything that had happened the night before hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew in that moment, I loved him. I was heart-broken. I remember sobbing in the shower, and not even being able to finish. My suite mate from the next room heard me and came in to give me a hug. I didn't go to classes that day, because I just needed time to think, plus I wanted to avoid seeing Jon as much as possible for the moment.

Jon, on the other hand, was totally shocked. He did not understand what had happened and wanted to fix it as much as possible. I just drew away and I told him I needed space. I need my time to think. I used that time to pray, think about what happened, think about the future, pray some more, and I even read a book that helped me a lot, called "Boy Meets Girl".

During that time apart we both matured. We both took time apart to get closer to God, and even though it was one of the worst time's in our lives, it ended up being the best as well, because it brought us back together. I look back and I am so thankful for that time apart. Time to get refocused, to get our priorities straight, and to mature. Two months later, we started talking again. It was the end of the semester at college, and we were both about to go home, miles apart. We decided that over the summer we would pray about everything and then see where it brought us. Later on, when I got on the plane to go home, I was so confused. Here are a few excerpts from my diary.

"I am sitting in the airplane on the way to Boston and I am watching the rain fall outside. I just talked to Bethany on the phone and I started crying. Today, no this whole week as been rough. I started talking to Jon on the phone, I think it was Monday. It's hard because it just brings everything back, and makes me more confused."

I went on to talk about the rough day I had for awhile.

"On top of it all, all I can think about is Jon. I want to call and just talk and all the while I keep thinking, is he thinking about me?"

Then I wrote out a prayer.

"Lord, I am so confused. Right now I feel that I love him. Am I wrong or right, or is it just because I'm lonely? I don't know, just please help me sort out all my feelings, fears,and doubts. Lord, I love you and I do want this summer to be about you. Please help me to find ways to serve you and be a blessing to others. I love you Lord, give me peace and give mom the right words to lead, guide, and encourage when I tell her everything. In your precious name Amen."

That night, when I got home from the airport, I decided to call him to tell him I got home safely. The next day he did the same. From that day, we started talking a lot more on the phone. We discussed things that had happened, why we broke up, and what we did wrong. It felt good to get everything out and just be us again.

One day, I met my mom for lunch near her work. We wanted to catch up on everything that had happened while I had been gone, and I wanted to tell her what had happened with Jon and I. I wanted her opinion. It was so important to me. I told her the whole story and and was surprised by some of the advice she gave me. She even thought we should get back together if that was what I wanted. Jon and I talked some more and we decided that we would both pray about it and ask our parents to pray about it, and if they all felt that is was ok, and this was God's will we would get back together.

I didn't want to rush things, and I wanted to make sure beyond a shadow of a doubt this was God's will. I knew if we got back together again it would be forever (and it was!). So we all took a week and prayed about it, at the end of the week we both talked to our parents and got the ok, and two months later, May 2006 we were back together.

The story did not end there however. After we got engaged and only a few weeks before we got married, we had pre-marital counseling with our pastor who was going to marry us. I remember him asking us if either of us had cold feet. He said if we do that is something we needed to deal with. He said if we had any doubts about marrying then we needed to call off the wedding right now. Because if it was God's will we would have real peace, and no doubts. And I remember that being so true. I didn't even need to second guess myself or the wedding, I was absolutely sure from the bottom of my heart, that Jon was the man I was supposed to marry and the one God had for me. I had found "the one."

Does that mean we were perfect or have a perfect marriage or will always have a perfect marriage? Of course not! We have our fair share of troubles and ups and downs. But I never have to worry if I married the right man, because I did exactly what I was supposed to and followed the will of God.

Here some steps I suggest:

1. Prayer.
Tell God exactly the kind of person you are looking for. Ask him to be the center of your relationship and always seek to put Him first. Ask God to give you a strong love for this person, if it is meant to be, and to take away any feelings you might have if this is not who God intends for you to be with.

2. Discuss your relationship.
What are the rules? What is the purpose in both of you being together? Is it for marriage or something else?

3. Ask parents' permission.
Your parents know you better than anyone else, and they know the type of person that would suit you.

4. Talk with people you trust.
Get their view on the relationship. Especially if you are not sure about things. Sometimes people see things that we would never have seen because we are blind to the truth, or because we do not want to see them.

5. Go to Pre-marital counseling.
I know you may think it is silly, but I tell you this is a great thing to do before marriage. It is only a few sessions and you will be glad you took the time to discuss the things mentioned during these sessions.

One last thing I wanted to mention, is that both Jon and I were virgins until the day we were married. Today, in our society and even among Christians this is unheard of and even frowned upon. I want to say that is was THE BEST decision I have ever made, and I think helped our relationship a lot. I am not going to lie and say it was easy. Because it was probably the hardest thing I have ever done, but it is worth it. I am not saying, that if you did not remain a virgin before marriage that you will have a bad relationship, or that you will not find the one for you. I believe you still can and will. But this is a huge area in a relationship, and if you do the right thing God will honor that.

Thanks for reading my story, and I hope that this is a help and encouragement to someone somewhere!

Bio
Kathryn is a 25 year old Christian military wife and stay-at-home mom. She has been married to her husband Jonathan 3 years, and together they have a 1 year old little boy named Adam. She loves ministering to military wives and moms and enjoys blogging at www.singingthroughtherain.net.

...and I Knew He was the One - {Guest Post by Triple Braided}

2012-01-31T23:23:00.000-05:00

I am so excited to invite Brenda Rodgers to be the first post in: "...and I Knew He was the One"

(Just a reminder the link-up is up)

Please Welcome

Brenda Rodgers writer of

Triple Braided

Beautiful Mommy Feet!

................

Last week I read an article on Kyria’s Culture Blog entitled “Why Young Men Aren’t Manning Up?” The article discusses the reasons why men now-a-days seem to have a prolonged state of adolescence and refuse to “Man Up” while all the women sit around wondering where all the good men have gone – as if they are mature, adult women ready for responsibility and family and "womaning up" at age 22, I will add. And it got me asking myself,

At 22 years of age, did I “woman up”?

Photo Credit: Creative Commons: Victoria Garcia

Around this age a lot of women (I would really say most women) begin to think about marriage. If it wasn’t on the radar before, then it is now. There is a heightened awareness for the need to find a husband. I have found this to be true for the career-minded, want-to-conquer-the-world woman and the woman who’s desire is to be a homemaker. It doesn’t matter. I was determined to get my Master’s degree before getting married, so I went into the Master’s program a year after college, but that does not mean that I was not keenly aware of the fact that I better start looking. Because there was that underlying sense – that ever small fear – that I might just end up alone. So I started looking.

But was I really ready?

At 35 years old I still envy strong, young Christian couples who are firm in their faith, secure in their roles as men and women, and commit to marriage out of sacrificial love for one another because that was not me. And I suspect that even though the majority of women think they are ready for marriage and desire marriage at an early age, it is not them either – truly.

After being married for only three and half years, I can tell you the one thing I learned only two short weeks in: Marriage is a daily laying down of your life for another person – every day, day in and day out, selflessly.

At 22 years old (and even years beyond), I was not concerned about laying down my life for anyone. I was concerned about being lonely, having someone share the work load, wanting children, fulfilling my desire to be a homemaker, the wedding I had been planning for years, and decorating a home. My mind was filled with everything that would make me more content and secure and happy.

Not once did I think about uniting with someone to become more like Christ or creating a legacy for future generations or being used to fulfill a greater purpose in another person’s life.

With this mindset did I help the men I dated to “man up”, or did I just assist them in staying 22?

First of all, I didn’t give them a reason to want to “man up” as is mentioned in Jonathan Sprowl’s article. The expectations I had for a man were way above anything he could live up to because most of the time I was asking him to fill a void in my heart that only God can fill. My expectations were for him to fulfill the fairy tale not a calling.

If a man I was dating was not ready to pursue me like a man is supposed to, that was o.k. I would help him along by calling just one more time at night or reminding him that Valentine’s Day is coming up or sending him an email just to say “hey” in the middle of the day. I made it easy for him believing myself that I was not worth the work of pursuing.

My world became wrapped up in this other person – to the point of idolatry – and I became easily accessible. I let go of my interests and friends to keep this man close by. Life was easy for him. He had me when he wanted me and when he did not he could let me go knowing that I would be there waiting when he was ready for me again.

All of this kept him from having to be a man. He didn’t have to pursue and fight and conquer to win his princess. He already had her.

So he stayed 22. And I stayed 22, too. He suffered from no need to “man up”, and I allowed not “womaning up” to sabotage my true desires.

It is easy for me to think back and get angry at the men I dated not "manning up". But what if I had been a different woman? Well, either they would have gone on their way without me, leaving me with some emotional pain, no doubt, but as the woman God called me to be - a woman of integrity, sold out in surrender to Him, or they might, just might, have been persuaded to "man up".

We can't point fingers at our fellow brothers in Christ until we first examine ourselves.

Are there areas that you need to "woman up"?

May I encourage you to first "delight in the Lord".

Pursue Him above all else.

This is the ultimate "womaning up".

After years as a single woman chasing after marriage instead of chasing after Jesus, Brenda considers herself a “Recovering Single”. Now her passion is to help single women findpeace in God as they use their single years to grow their relationship with Himand prepare for marriage. She alsoencourages married women to create authentic relationships with single women inorder to mentor and disciple them during this season of their lives. Brenda writes about singleness, marriage, andlife with Jesus on her blog TripleBraided. She and her husband havebeen married for almost four years.

I'm sure Brenda would love to hear from you! You can find her at: http://www.triplebraidedlife.com/ also on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/triplebraided