Beauty and the Bullshit

How To Understand Women (aka Get Men In Line Without Murdering Them)

2023-07-15T20:52:00.014+02:00

Men are simple.

When they say they are hungry, it means they are hungry.

When they say they are sleepy, it means they are sleepy.

Nice blouse means nice boobs. Nice pants means nice ass.

If they don't have an erection, make them a sandwich.

If that doesn't work, give them a beer, a ball or a stick.

Women however? Hooboy!

Which is partly the reason for this book.

Men need to take it slow. They need to understand the fundamentals before they can comprehend the special bond between the tree and the stars.

We can't just saunter in with our healing crystal shenanigans and our mercury retrograde ass and expect these Xy creatures to understand.

They will think we're crazy!

Your book should not be more than 10 pages, otherwise it's not worth reading.

Said my grumpy old friend, Declan.

Joke’s on you, Declan. I can do it in a 10 item manifesto. But we know darn well where 10 item manifestos have brought us innit?

I have a working theory that initially, life came with an instruction manual.

But man, the designated driver, used it to wipe his ass and decided to wing it.

Fool wouldn't even ask for directions.

To make matters worse, these clueless creatures don't have enough blood

to power both the brain and a hard-on. A MAJOR biological design flaw.

What’s a girl to do?

Of course men mean well.

It’s adorable how they sincerely want to be useful.

Only that they are stupid wired differently. (Rowena, behave.)

Men solve problems. They thrive in competition.

It is ingrained in their DNA from the moment they’re teeny tiny sperms.

Even deprived of all toys, they will make pissing into a contest.

Don’t get me wrong. I am no feminist. I do not want equality.

I fully accept my fate of being the superior gender.

It’s not an easy job but I choose to be gracious about it.

I am not impressed though with how things are run around here.

Modern technology has become our master instead of slave.

Funneling all our life energy to the hands of very few.

Shopping has become an addiction rather than a source of empowerment.

Weighing us down in debt and debris of plastic and decaying batteries.

Travel has become a commercialized race in a bubble of comfort

rather than a spontaneous source of wonder.

In our quest to go faster, we aren’t going any further,

In our quest to go bigger, we have become fat and frail,

In our quest for cheap, we end up with a planetary pile of toxic shit.

Our life has become a daily drudgery to pay the bills.

It cramps our style, men and women alike.

So think of this book as an intervention coming from a place of love.

Men and women are not enemies.

The Xy chromosome has a blind spot, that's all.

And we all would benefit if we could learn to play nice.

(Constant reminder to self, help me gawd)

Book Excerpt.

Rowena Reddragon Sauntering the Silk Road bit.ly/3DsmdD9

My 10 Suggestions

2023-05-06T22:05:00.005+02:00

Truth

2021-04-04T13:34:00.004+02:00

When the words have lost all meaning
When you cant tell right from left
When freedom feels like suffocating
When kindness gives us but torment

When search for better takes you deeper in a bottomless despair
When for peace we need to slaughter a neighbor outside of our fence

When the truth is made of conflict with exceptions to the rule
When both science and religion favor those that take the reign

Then its time to use a language
Thats incapable of lies
Go inside yourself in silence
For only there, the truth resides

Chapter 1: It gets better

2021-03-03T15:58:00.012+01:00

You’re on a boat

Along with 20 people, one of them is a baby.
You are floating at sea in darkness, surrounded by enemies looking for you.
If anyone makes a sound, the enemies might hear and will kill you.
If the baby cries, you can all be dead.

Will you kill the baby?

------------------------

I recently had a reunion with my ex-colleagues from a Beauty Industry Giant.

Though most of us have moved on doing our own thing, one of my colleagues, stayed on to become the global company’s head honcho. Mr. Big Shot.

He hubnubbed with influential people and profess to being the deciding factor in our country’s current President’s election.

Curious, I asked what his take was on the President, a known henchman of the poor.

To which, after giving me the boat analogy, concluded …

“He is the father that this country needs.
He will pull the trigger himself and kill the baby to protect the many.”

He asked me If I’d kill the baby.

“Hell no”, I answered.

“Ah, you’re idealistic. You don’t count.”

And he dismissed me and my opinion from then on.

My knee jerk reaction was to say this:

You don’t kill a fucking baby, you monster!

But someone wise inside me said.

Will this reaction solve it? If not, do not waste your energy.

And so, I said:

That is a great analogy. May I use it for my book?

To which he graciously responded:

“Sure! And send me an autographed copy.”

So yes, my inner pussy won.

Because she is right.

It was pointless at that time to get into an argument. And if I may quote my favorite drunk, Churchill:

You will not reach your destination if you throw stones at every dog that barks.

------------

In life, it is important to ask the right questions.
The question is not whether to kill the baby or die.

The real question is :

How the hell did we get here?

How can we, “intelligent” “human” “beings” allow the baby, fruit of our loins, our future...

without shelter

floating on a boat

in darkness

surrounded by enemies,

and its own people ready to kill “it”

if it dared to cry. If it dared to breathe. If it dared to whimper.
If it dared to weep at what we have become.

What have we become?

And knowing what we have become, is there a way out?

---------

Somebody wise once said:

“Either you solve it from the root or you leave it the fuck alone.”

But what is the root?

Who is to blame?
Where do we start?
How do we start?

And so this book.

It will give you answers.

And it knows that you, guided with clarity, will follow your heart, and solve it from the root.

...

That, or the baby dies.

And by the way, plot twist:

You are the baby.

You are the plot twist.

Author's note: This is the beginning chapter of my book which is tentatively titled:

Do the math. A traveller's cheatsheet to life or

Life Roadmap. Cheatsheet by Number

Smelly Pussy

2021-03-01T16:40:00.005+01:00

Some of you may have had the good fortune of having a best friend.

That one person that picks on your flaws, calls you on your shit, embarrasses you in public, laughs at your drama, documents your misfortunes but that you know, deep, deep down inside loves you for all your shit.

Well, I have the fortune of coming from a town whose peculiarity is that everyone, from the town doctor to the street drunk, a grandmother to a preschooler- act as if they are your best friend.

They will call on your shit and keep you grounded, make a joke of your misfortunes and in their own weird way make you feel that life isn’t that hard if you don’t take everything too seriously. They are the types of assholes that if you can see the lightheartedness of their assholeness actually toughens and tenderizes you up for school and the school of life.

In fact, our town sport could well be :

“let’s see who can come up with the best insult

and whoever gets affected loses”.

And with generations of practice, nobody loses his shit over insults, over a string of words.

Anyway, we have an event that we look forward to in the month of May which could well be the town’s olympic sport. It is called “Flores de Mayo” and here, the most beautiful women gets to wear over the top gowns and a crown and gets paraded all over town to be admired for their beauty. And as you would expect of our town- be called on their flaws.

So, in one of these parades, we stood waiting and unleashing the best insults for every girl that passes. And mind you, we are all in this fun little town exercise together, so the girls can whip back insults of their own- a beautiful camarederie of tough love give and take.

But then came, the last one. The “Reyna Elena” position assigned to the most beautiful one.

She was flawless. And us, speechless.

Everyone searched for a flaw but failed. No one can come up with nothing in what seemed like an eternity of searching and silence. Till an elderly woman from the back broke the silence and said-

She has a smelly pussy.

So I guess, the moral of this story is this:

We all have flaws. You can punish yourself needlessly and be in denial of it.

Or you can accept it, laugh about it and use it to connect yourself to a wonderfully flawed world.

That is, of course, if you aren’t blindsided by a smelly pussy.

Know Your Limits

2021-03-01T16:11:00.003+01:00

I have two sides to myself.

One is the stoner life of the party and one is the designated sober driver.

I used to think that leading a “correct” life means leading the boring ascetic life of the designated driver. Of leaving all the ways of the world, losing one’s excesses, wearing hemp and singing kumbaya and telling people “don’t do drugs”.

I think this artificial sainthood void of authentic laughter with hallow repetitions of 108 “Oms” and 25 “Hail Mary”s (done both) is no better than unfettered hedonism or military discipline.

And that life of the party, like ego, the insecure self important drama queen, the catty and confused indecisive bitch, inspite of its many faults – can never be accused of being boring. And no matter how we try, the ego is here to stay.

So, instead of being a self righteous goody two shoes, I make friends with my inner bad girl. I acknowledge that it is there and yes, i have great fun with the troubles it gets me into sometimes oftentimes.

But like a wiser and older drunk, I now acknowledge my limit.

If I go beyond 2 puffs of spliff, I aint leaving the house to party.

And 3 times beyond the coughing limit, i will go transcendental.

So yes, I will not ask us ladies to deny ourselves of sic clothes, foodfests or your drug of choice.

But, for the love of drugs, let us know our limits.

Because at the rate that we have gone, that party ho has put all the kids on a school bus, set it on fire and is driving it off the cliff. It is time to heed our inner designated sober driver, sit Ms Stoner Partypants down and tell her-

“bitch- you gotta know your limit”

And this blog will discuss our limit on how we can have fun without setting the bus on fire.

Let’s do this.

How To Heal A Government

2021-02-26T18:32:00.005+01:00

You cannot fight a government designed for inequality.

But you can create a new one that makes it obsolete.

One by the people, for the people, respecting our nature and rights to land, food, water, air. Where no one is above the law. And everyone leads by example.

Recognise that the government’s power is also its weakness. A divided people united by a common delusion.

Start with what you can control.

Lose the labels that separate you from the other. Be it religion, class or political position.

See people's realities without the label of judgement and expand your perspective of reality to include theirs. This makes you wiser, stronger.

Recognise the grief behind one’s anger. For pain needs to be acknowledged before it can go away.

Know that whoever you give power to judge you, you give power to control your life. So neither judge nor compare, everyone has their cross to bear.

Be neither anti or pro, the good guy or the bad guy. Discuss the pros and the cons but do not make it your identity. It is a trap to a divisive war on semantics. A rigged war of gladiators where only the emperor wins.

If in doubt, get inspiration from nature. It does not judge what is wrong or right. Like a lotus with roots in the mud while facing the sun. It gives and receives without ambition nor profit.

Give light to your delusion and recognise the real from the imagined.

The currency that powers a government is a printed piece of paper whose only value is in your mind. Disable the old government by seeing this for what it is, a piece of paper. No more real than monopoly money.

Deal only with what is real. Value the people and the fruits of the land and sea.

Shift from profiting to sharing. And when you receive, give thanks and pay it forward. Nature is a cycle of gratitude, there is no need for greed.

Realize that we do not own the land. The land owns us. Commit only to land that you can personally take care of and enrich it for your children and your children’s children. Plant a tree that will give them shade.

Free the rest to those who can take care of it better. For their own family, garden or vegetation.

Be your neighbor's keeper. They have as much right to the bounties of the earth as you do. Defend their right if need be for your children. For if they fall, you fall.

Leave the forests be.

Divide the fruits of the land amongst its townpeople. Share any excess with the neighboring towns.

Work not for money but in freeing the land, making it breathe so it can bear fruit again. So it can feed the community again.

Free and clean the rivers so it can be drinkable again.

Rise with the sun and rest when it sets. When it rains, stay home while the clouds water the earth. Learn to work with the power of nature again.

Be a part of community that raises every child. Take roles in feeding, educating, and building her shelter. Give the child your time learning through play.

Have a community pool of clothes, gadgets, furniture that you hand down once you have outgrown them.

Practice your art and share it freely so it can remind people how simple it is to find joy in this life.

Embrace simplicity. Be reconnected with the earth. Spend time with whom you love. Lead by example. Do what you love.

Give thanks to the earth under your feet, the wind in your hair, the sun in your face, the clothes on your back.

Live light. Travel slow. Share.

Dance.

Breathe in hope, breathe out gratitude.

For as long as you are breathing.

And leave those who are not ready to embrace the new normal alone, give them time to awaken, to battle with their imagined demons. The man who throws stones at every dog that barks will not reach his destination.

And when they are ready, welcome them to the new world that you created with grace.

The new normal is not up to the old government.

The new normal is up to you.

You hold the power.

And its easier than you think.

It is in your instinct. Heed it.

Fear and faith, in the same breath.

We do not prepare a child for society. We prepare society for the child.

How To Dump Consumerism Like An Old Boyfriend

2018-04-17T20:05:00.003+02:00

Hello bishes!

I was invited to talk in the Global Zeitgeist Day 2018 in Frankfurt Germany last 7 April 2018.

This was a big deal to me. Years before, I regularly spoke to female audiences of thousands to get them to buy more. This time, I am speaking to about 200 forward thinking people on buying less.

Real change can only happen from the ground up: from us, the individual to our neighborhood and to the whole world. And us women, hold the future in our hands.

It starts by knowing the real impact of our decision and making a conscious effort to make better choices, making those choices stick that they become habits and then on to uniting with others so we can effect change on the local level.

I tried to make the serious subject as amusing as possible relating the process to things we are familiar and passionate about sprinkling it with some tidbits on myself and my mini-theories on light subjects as:

- How many ex-boyfriends can you claim to your current boyfriend before they go mental?
- Who is better at moving on? Men or women?

- How many shades of lipstick do you really need?

- How many outfits do you really need?

Here goes:

Though the take on it is fun, I would like to credit sources/references of the subjects i covered:

Consumption/De-consumption:
Yankelovich Monitor & Greenfield Online
Readings on Serge Latouche

Behavioural Study & Manipulation Techniques
Emotions Revealed by Paul Ekman
The Crowd: Study of the popular mind by Gustave le Bon
Thinking Fast & Slow, Daniel Kahnemann
On Death & Dying, Kübler-Ross

Robert Sapolsky lectures on human behavioural biology: https://youtu.be/NNnIGh9g6fA

Science of Bottom up Revolution. Why everyone matters:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPh3c8Sa37M Ted Talk by Tom Chi

Whatever gender, age, race, religion you are. It is my honour to invite you to join girlsquad.

Learn more about girlsquad here.

Thank you and see you on the bright side of beauty!

When is It Ok To Lie To Kids?

2017-11-07T06:53:00.004+01:00

I am a six-time aunt and a zero-time mother. So unlike moms who have their excuses cut out for them like…

“because as your mother, it is my duty to protect you from the evils of this world for as long as I can”

or

“because I carried you in my body for 9 months and If I told you so, it is so”

or

“because I am too busy trying to earn a living to answer your questions”

… alas, as a mere aunt, I have no justified excuse to lie my way out of difficult questions.

…

A few years ago, I had the wonderful opportunity to prepare and see my 5 year old niece Arwen to school every morning.

I am not a big fan of mindless TV, so I forbade her to turn the TV on while we were going through our business of preparing. (At 5, Arwen is also forbidden to have her own FB account)

In exchange, I promised to answer all her questions truthfully. A “Q&A hour with Auntie Rowena” if you must.

Here, she gives me rules on how to tie her hair.

So she threw me some difficult ones and one question led to more questions. Some delved into science, religion, biases, sex, politics - all excellent subjects for lying.

So did I cave in and lie? Naah, I stuck to my guns however difficult it was. (Well, maybe, except for one question- but read on and you be the judge).

Ok Arwen, shoot me!

10. Will I grow taller than my parents?

(explain the human genome to a 5 year old, I dare 'ya!)

Here I enclose a picture of Arwen’s family so you can appreciate the gravity of her concern.

A simple 'yes' or 'no' question, you say?

Adults are easy, we pretend to understand to avoid looking stupid. But with 5 year olds- there will be barrage of follow up “whys” until she REALLY gets it.

You are like a puzzle. Some parts came from your mother and some from your father.

The part of the puzzle that decides how tall you will be, adds the height pieces from your father and the height pieces from your mother. So, if you get all the height pieces of your father and mother, you will be taller than your parents.

That is why most children grow up to be taller than their parents.

(And I continue on. Because, note to self *Don't only give her education, but inspire her to wonder.*)

People who study the human puzzle call it human genome. Unlike most puzzles that is a flat paper, the human puzzle is long like a string. There is one string that comes from your father, and one string that comes from your mother and they are twisted together to make you.

They found that your genome is 99.96% the same with all the people in the world.
The very small difference between us helps us survive diseases. So when a virus kills some people, others survive. Our differences help humans survive sicknesses and continue living.

So when you see someone different from you. Think more of what makes you similar than different . And that your differences help both of you survive.

What about you?

When did you stop questioning so as not to appear stupid?

When did you let that little girl who wouldn’t stop asking till she gets the answers be silenced?

Speaking of genome, may I recommend this excellent video documentary-

*The Search for Scientific Adam that will help you realize how alike we are as humans.

9. Why does Mickey Mouse like hotdogs when mice are supposed to like cheese?

To give you a perspective of this question, here is a video of little Arwen dancing to Mickey Mouse “HotDog Dance”.

Mickey Mouse is a mouse drawing by a man called Walt Disney. Showing Mickey moving like that on TV needs lots of drawings and Disney needs money to pay people to do that.

The man who makes hotdogs gave Disney money if Disney will help him sell hotdogs. So even if mice are supposed to eat cheese, Disney made Mickey eat hotdogs. So if you keep seeing Mickey eating hotdogs, you will also eat hotdogs.

If you see a lie over and over again, there will come a time that you just accept it without asking or thinking. It is called brainwashing.

Sting knows a thing or two about making a hit song

So, if you spot a lie, even if it is a small lie, ask yourself, why is the person lying? What does he want from me? Will it be good for him and bad for me?

You should always find out more when someone is lying, so you can decide what is really good for you.

Me: So Arwen, do you want hotdog for breakfast?
Arwen : Is hotdog good for me?
Me: No, because … (I explained the food that makes her grow taller and what hotdogs are made of)
Arwen: No. I want food that will make me grow taller.

8. How did the world start?

You will hear two different versions: one from science and one from religion. I will tell you both.

FROM SCIENCE:
Scientists looked for clues. They tested materials on the earth and found that it came from stars that exploded a long long time ago. They call this “The Big Bang Theory”.

They call it a “Theory” because it is still an incomplete explanation from all the things they tested. Scientists continue asking and testing so that they can find out more. Scientists always challenge what we know because they want to know the truth, even if it is not what they thought it to be.

FROM RELIGION:
Religion says that the world and the whole universe is created by a most powerful, most intelligent and most perfect God* (*Catholic religion calls it God but there are other religions who call it other names).

Unlike science, religion knew this from people who said they have been chosen by God to tell us about it. These chosen people also said that God said you should believe them and not question or ask for proof, otherwise, God will be angry and punish you.

Arwen : Which one is true?

Science is sure of what they know but they still cannot explain a lot of things. Religion has an explanation to everything but what they knew came only from chosen people who do not want to be questioned.

Arwen: What do you think?

I want to believe that science and religion both mean good - but try to find the answer in different ways.

I think that a real scientist should discover but recognize that they do not have an explanation for everything yet and respect "non-scientifics" because we still know very little about it, not because it is untrue.

When Einstein, the poster boy of science was asked if he prays,
his answer was that "God does not play dice with the universe".

I think that a real religious should respect others to find their own good and do their own questioning. I think that we all can find the truth, not just the 'chosen ones', if we learn to listen and try to understand. When faith is not questioned, it can be abused by the "chosen ones" and gives "God" a bad rep.

Carol had. But she ain't snitching.
Like a good Christian that she is.

When you find out more about the world, you will find that it is very, very smart - much smarter than we can understand right now. Even if I or other people have answers, you should always ask yourself and everyone should respect your right to ask.

Faith gets stronger when tested, not when taken for granted.

Learn all versions. That is the difference between education and indoctrination.

Never stop questioning what you know.

7. Is my father really adopted?

Arwen’s father, my brother, is adopted when he was just 3 days old. It is a fact that we never hid from anyone so much so that neighbors thought we were lying. But I believe, I should rephrase the question here as asked by my brother, when he himself was 5 years old.

Why do people ask me if I am “just” adopted? Why “just”?

People project to words what they have in their hearts.
When a person has love, an adopted child is a gift. When a person has fear, an adopted child is a threat.

When a person is ashamed, he will hide with a lie. When he is threatened, he will fight and belittle. When he is proud, he will shout it out to the world.
So when a person does not value the gift of an adopted child, that person does not speak from love but from ignorance.

So, trust yourself and learn to listen only to people who have love.

Tony Robin-esque inspirationally cheesy, but true.

6. Why is she lying to her father?

"She" is my nephew's girlfriend and has a different religion. She is lying to her father because she does not want to be disowned . I am not saying her name here because it is up to her to own up to her truth. Me and Arwen love her.

Arwen, it is the same way when you lie because you think you are going to be punished for something which you think you have done wrong. Sometimes, old people make up rules that they want others to follow.

I think that is very sad because love should not be something to lie about. And if one's rules causes someone who loves to lie, maybe one should question those rules.

Before you do something, always ask yourself one question - "Is my motive positive or negative?" Revenge, showing-off, dividing people and making them fight are not good motives. Love, uniting people and learning are good motives.

When education interferes with learning.

So long as you act on good motives, even if you do not succeed, you know you are doing good and you do not have to lie about it.

And if someone or something will not accept your good motive and will cause you to lie, then you know you are in the right to stand up against it and question them.

Hold your truth.
No person, religion or institution should cause a person with good motives to lie. Ever.

Who are we to say that we are better at crocheting than Radical Islam Terrorists?

5. Is Santa Claus real? (aka Will I be the one to "ruin" her Christmas by snitching?)

Arwen, what do you know about Santa?

He gave me a gift on Christmas because I was good.

He entered through the window while I was sleeping.

He is an old fat man with white beard that wears a red suit.

Let us investigate this together.

This is true.

We don't know this because you were sleeping. Your windows are high (second floor) and small, so no one bigger than a child can enter through there and no child can climb that high. It is more possible that Santa entered through the door. Maybe somebody let him in or maybe he was already inside when you locked the door before sleeping.

If you have not seen him yourself, we cannot be sure of this. In Europe, where I am from, "Santa" is called "Saint Nicholas" and is thin and wears a long gown (different colors), but I also have not seen him.

Arwen, all we know for sure about Santa is that he brings you gifts because you were good. So he is someone who wants you to be a good girl. That is one important clue. Concentrate on that.

But the rest, we have no proof. Maybe Santa is an avatar, you know, just like when you use an avatar when you play games online. Or maybe not, we do not know for sure because we have not seen him when he left your gift.

Arwen: So is he real?

That is a mystery for you to solve (she can google at 5). And solving mysteries yourself make you smarter. Oh, look at the time! Time to go to school now. (Phew!)

Weeks later, Arwen's mom, told me that Arwen got her to admit that she is Santa.
Arwen was really cool about it. But Arwen's mom was pretty shaken - lolz

So my suggestion-
Santa is an avatar of someone who secretly wants you to be a good person.
The tooth fairy is an avatar of someone who secretly wants you to be brave after enduring pain.
The rest of the story is just noise. And damn commercialism for blurring the message.

PS Never underestimate your 5 year old. They are much smarter than you think. And they can google the arse out of your lies.

4. What is anal sex?

Oh my oh my, I squirmed on this one. How can I avoid without lying? Where did she hear this anyway?

Arwen, do you know how you feel when you see blood?
Arwen: Yes, it makes my toes curl. I hate it!
Well, ok, I can tell you but it might make your toes curl, do you still want to know?
Arwen: Hmm, I guess not.

Weeks later, a variation of the same question...

Arwen, I prefer to answer that when you are older, like 60 years old. Is it ok?
Arwen: But that is a long time from now. I will forget.
I can remind you.

In my defense, sex was a taboo subject in our household.

By the age of 8, a neighbor tried to seduce me. Fortunately, my parents arrived in time, saw the neighbor alone with me in my room and started questioning me what happened.

I felt something wasn't right but they didn't explain to me why. So it got ingrained in my head that being alone with men is bad. Heck, by the age of 16, I thought I could get pregnant by watching a movie with a boy. No shit.

My apologies to my first boyfriend for being a crazy bitch.

Anyway, I think I could have done better here. I think Arwen needs to learn it from parents/aunts because even if we want her to stay innocent, we cannot protect her from predators like *Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Terry Richardson etcetera that way. We need a different strategy. If we learn to talk about it to our daughters, and to each other, then we all can be better armed when faced with a predator.

So, I call on you dear readers for your wisdom and suggestions on how to handle this one. You can criticize but let's be nice to our fellow sisters, shall we? We all go through a lot of shit already.

3. Are kings good people?

Arwen, I think it is too simplistic to judge people as either good or bad.

People do things and react to what happens to them. If they are angry or afraid, they tend to say and do "bad" things. If they are happy, they do good things.

I think it bad to give up on people. But if they keep doing bad things to you, it is just better to avoid them rather than they affect you and you do bad things yourself because of what they did to you.

(So with that disclaimer,) kings got to be kings because they claimed land as theirs and declared they were chosen to do so. The way they got to be kings was through a "bad" thought and a "bad" deed.

2. Can I be a princess?

No you cannot. Princesses get to be that way because they are either daughters of kings or marry a prince. But you cannot marry a prince if you are not a princess.

I thought this was a simple question. But for the first time.... Arwen cried.

Arwen: But I want to be a princess. *More sobs*

But why do you want to be a princess Arwen? All a princess does is think of parties and clothes and prince charmings. You can do more than that, you will be bored.

But she kept crying. She doesn't hear me. And for the first time, I felt bad for telling her the truth. I broke her heart. I shattered her dream. Maybe telling the truth was a bad idea...

Until....

Angelina Jolie, I want to thank you for making Maleficent. I know, I know, haters will say, she isn't real either - but she is more real in that she gave fairy tale characters more dimension. It is not just princesses are good, witches are bad narrative. It is one step to progress.

Arwen and I watched Maleficent. Twice. Then she got to see "School of Rock" and wanted to be a drummer. And a cook, and a manicurist, and a cashier, and a singer, and a scientist and on and on.

So, with that admission, Arwen has gone from fairytale princess to badass.
In your face princess!

1. Do I sing well?

Hmm, how well does a 5 year old sing?

She is no Taylor Swift but....

To me, she sings great! But I will not put her in The Voice because they cannot see how cute she is. And we all know how mothers and aunts think their child/niece is the bestest in the world so I will not bore you.

But I still tell her she is great! All of us family think she is a great singer. She basks in the sunlight of our total love and admiration.

And that is when her dad, my brother, stepped in. With wise words from a dad that not even a bitch of an aunt can muster.

Don't praise her more than necessary. If she starts believing she is better than she actually is, she and the world will have a bigger problem. And if she is determined to sing better, she will keep practicing to prove us wrong.
Then both ways, she wins.

Here is a video of Arwen singing.

So, my recommendation- When is it ok to lie to kids?

Never.

Growth only comes when you know and face the truth, not when you deny it.

The truth will make her stronger. Protecting them from it does not help.

So let us please skip the "You are the most beautiful princess in the whole world" bullshit, shall we?

And as Arwen will prove to you - they will be ok.

Arwen gets the medal for best in class. Yey! #proudaunt

Arwen teaches her grandma how to hashtag #seniormoments

BONUS: So how to test if you are ballsy:

If your truths cannot stand the cross examination of a 5 year old, that she can reduce you to a lying, deflecting adult, start questioning the 'truths' you have accepted. It is possible that you might be full of shit.

At the end of the day, there are no "necessary evils", no "white lies" - just people not ballsy enough to stand up for what they feel deep in their hearts to be right.

PS

There is mom's day, dad's day, sibling, sister, cat, dog, armpit and grandparents day.
Can we please have an aunt day?

But don't let it be a day where we buy our aunts something (I am so over consumerism right now). Just a day when we get back to our 5 year old self and truly question.

Like a #questionlikefive #askauntie What do you say? May i suggest these questions to start with?

Why are teachers paid so little and politicians paid so much?
Who decides whose time is more valuable?
Who gives money its value?

If tech is so advanced now, why not cut off the money and the middleman altogether and technify barter to give power to the producer and the consumer, base prices on its true cost to the planet? Do we lack the technology, or the imagination? Or are we just too deep into our bullshit now? (Ok, that is me asking)

If we take out the bullshit we have accepted in our lives, and learn to recognize our similarities rather than our differences, you will find that we have the power to shut down all these seemingly insurmountable evils happening now.

Unite as humans and question like you are 5.
Then the world is ours to change for the better. Shall we start?

#asklikefive

Why you shouldn't fear whitening soaps

2015-03-28T00:01:00.000+01:00

In Asia, you will lament the fact that all they sell are whitening soaps- because er, people in Asia want to be white much the same way white people want to be bronzed.

Whitening soaps have enzymes which promote sloughing off of the outer layers of the skin.

Skin has a 28 day cycle to renew itself, the topmost layer being the "oldest", ready to be shed away. This is the reason why all "wonder" skin creams promise a difference after 28 days- your skin did not just rejuvenate, that is really new skin right there bitch!

So for the olive skinned- do not fear whitening soaps, it will not ruin your beautiful skin. It is just a marketing term to lure the insecures.

A random thought- as I need to buy soap. #beautyandthebullshit

Slow Travel to Italia

2014-06-04T06:00:00.002+02:00

This blog has had its share of accolades. I can boast to be perhaps the only beauty blog that has male heterosexual followers (for realz). I am also one to tell you not to spend your money but rather hold on to it.

But I also had criticisms for not knowing how to celebrate joy in the form of a new shade of lipstick. And yes, I am guilty.

After all, once you have found your own shade of red that makes your face light up and sparkle- what else can the spectrum of colors entice you with? Certainly not the overrated Viva Glam de Jour that donates to “charity” yet will never have the same effect as your own personal red.

So yes, this blog may teach you a lot of things but it does not have passion (for yet another ho-hum lipstick).

With this post, I would like to change that.

----

Every Viva Glam I turned down, a lip balm I refused, a new miracle (aherm cough*BB, mineral) formula I resisted, a new trendy color I skipped-

allowed me a thousand steps more of travel.

------

And by travel, I do not mean the type where you stress to finish all work in the office, stay a week in a hotel, have a day to day agenda of buildings, museums and monuments to see, then go home more tired than before the vacation.

That’s being a tourist, where you have instagram pictures to show but not a real experience that you can say enriched you.

Try travelling slow.

Stay longer without a real agenda but to live like and with the locals.

----

For how else can you do much if you have a week full planned of dead museums to see?

· Challenge Ferraris to race in the Tuscan highways (in a shoe filled Volkswagen Beetle)

· Get yourself invited then thrown out (on purpose, they were getting too wild for my taste and there are lines I do not cross) of an artist’s party in Pietra Santa

· Ride in a midnight train full of sailors in Napoli,

· Be cooked for and fed by a castle owning Italian boy in Modena,

· Ride around Rome with a Milanese in a Vespa,

· Be shown around to mingle with the 25,000 local Venetian population by a real merchant of Venice

· Be asked to do a bible reading in an Italian wedding in Bari

Not. Unless you take it slow.

And the place in Italy which has a special place in my heart and where I recommend you start is Florence, the birthplace of the Renaissance.

Here are glimpses of it from an adopted native’s perspective.

Beauty Ad nauseam

There is a real medical condition called Florence syndrome, so called because a lot of incidents happened after seeing the Loggia dei Lenzi in Piazza dela Signoria (the place where Bonfire of the Vanities happened) in Florence.

In this you get overwhelmed with so much beauty that you actually go frenzy dizzy.

I would not waste my time describing or showing you pictures. It is to be experienced. Put this in your bucket list.

Medici is dead, long live the Medicis

This banking family has fostered the arts, science, literature, architecture that gave birth to Michelangelo, Galileo, Da Vinci and Dante (to but name a few).

The last of the Medicis was the gay Gaston and the childless Luisa.

Yet they are alive in the legacy of greatness that they helped flourish.

But the real legacy is the wonder that are the Florentines. I can wax poetry about them, but allow me to just be stupid and say - gawd, they are really nice people!

Why Does Michelangelo Have a Beard?

I once stayed in a student’s flat where one of the tenants is a sculpture student.

I learned that beards have two practical uses. For sculptors, they sometimes need to see better and up close without a mask. A beard helps shield their faces from the marble being chipped.

The second practical use of beards is to conceal a small penis.

Why/why not Prosecco?

Sparkling wine, when grown in the Champagne region in France is called Champagne. When grown in Italy is called Prosecco. When grown in Spain is called Cava.

I had a week long tour of vineyards in the Champagne region and there would be better and lesser quaity Champagnes as I imagine that there would be better and lesser proseccos. The difference is just the French would be complete asses about protecting their name (remember the fate of YSL’s Champagne fragrance?).

So, when I hear someone deploring prosecco in favour of Champagne, I scratch my head and ask what the hell this common beeatch think she is talking about?

How to Tell A Good Gelato

Bad gelato

This Italian ice cream is made from real fruits and hearty ingredients. (To try is the sesame nero from Vivali, black sesame is imported from Japan and once the batch for the year is over, it is over)

When you see gelato piled yey high atop its container, it would require quite some unnatural shit to make it stand that way.

Stay away from gelatos piled yey high.

American Students as Party Shepherds

Florence attracts a lot of students (and it is easy to enroll there as most schools offer courses with translators.)

The cooler ones sometimes get jobs as party shepherds, that is leading the throng of party goers to the next bar.

They can be great fun to live with but they often forget that I am old enough to be their mamma and would bother me a lot to party. I love them! (Dylan and Tracey!)

How is All This Possible?

Easier said than done, you will say.

True.

But possible. Especially now more than ever when jobs can be done via the internet and an iphone full of app enablers.

But you start with small steps.

So find and stick to the one true shade of red lipstick that celebrates you.

Keep your load light.

And go out and learn how the rest of the world wags and what wags it.

Let me recommend that you start with Florence, Italy.

It is the where the Renaissance started.

It could also be the start of your own personal renaissance.

-----

Some practical tips:

Easy for you to say, you do not have a job and kids…

If you have a regular job or a family, the book 4Hr workweek by Tim Ferris shows you how to hack it. Though I am not in lurv with the author who is a doppelganger of Woody Harrelson, the guy gives a good system and is selfless about sharing his tools to do it. You got to give him that.

How to Find a Legit Housing

If looking for long term housing, do Craig’s list.

If someone says they do not currently live there and will just send you key, go away.

At no instance should you ever pay via Western Union. If you must, pay perhaps a small reservation amount via a proper bank account (volunteer your ID and ask for the recipients ID as well).

If it can be arranged, secure your first two nights stay first in a hotel and spend those first days checking out your long term lodging options before you commit.

Note that for 1-2 days stay, hotels are aplenty and cheaper near train stations.

Eurail Tickets? Yes Or No?

Almost every tourist guide site I see tells you to buy those Eurail tickets where you get to travel so many countries for a period of time for a flat fee.

I say no.

First, those tickets limit your travel to ungodly hours or slow trains. So you either spend your time waiting and being inconvenienced or paying more for a better train schedule.

Second, to cram so many countries in a definite period; move on from one place you are just starting to love to another country just so you can make the most out of your Eurail pass?

Might as well wear a Hawaiian shirt and some leis while you are at it.

The option, travel by cheap airlines or by bus. Or carpool.

What to Pack

For this I found this video of Ms. St. Claire to be the one of the best tips out there (except for the spare glasses, you do not need them with a Portocchiali) The other is by Mr. Doug Dyment of Onebag.com

Me personally, I would take these:

Little black sleeveless jersey dresses that I layer up with vests, coats, sweaters, shirts. (the best I find are from Max Mara, some of mine are more than 25 years old and still look great)

A good quality black leather motorcycle coat.
A pair of capri black jeans (got mine from H&M)
A fringy black mini skirt
A pair of ballet flats that I would wear then I would shop for appropriate shoes as I need them in Italy.
I load up on the accessories
And I think that capes are especially wonderful for travel and can do so many seasons.

Finally a disclaimer:

I do not earn from any of these recommendations. They do not even know I recommended them.
Not all these images are mine. I found them floating around the internet. If you would know the owners of the images, kindly let me know so I may give them proper credit.

No BS Make Up Guide For Engineers

2014-05-22T15:05:00.000+02:00

Author's note:

Could be interesting read for men who just couldn't understand how "that" could have taken two hours and 14 products.

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The only rule in make-up is that there are no rules- yadda yadda yadda.

- said all those who wrote a whole book on make up.

---------------

I know a lot of smart women who just couldn't understand how to put on make up.

Throw them any problem - and they can solve shit fast. But when it comes to make up, no amount of youtube how-to-videos or explanation from the friendly avon lady can make them get it.

I used to be one of them. And it is really "unfortunate" that I should land a coveted position in cosmetics.

I studied mechanical engineering - or rather, i crammed my way to an engineering degree. The way i did it then was, i would attend the first class, get the syllabus and see if the teacher will give me anything on top of what I can read in the textbook.

If yes, i attend his classes. If not, i just show up for exams.

This is not to say I am smarter than the average engineer, mind you - it only says I am lazy.

However, to actually pass the exams with the least effort, one has to develop a fast and efficient way of learning. And in this respect, the "Dummies' Guide" Book Series is not my best guide.

Here is why-

First, the baby talk. Hate that shit.
Second, they become apologetic if they had to introduce techno jargons or "difficult concepts"- and the time it took reading their apologies and assuring us that everything will be alright could have been used to actually explaining them.
Then they hit the ground running on the "how" without an explanation of the "why".

Anyway, i found that the best way to learn it is to understand the basic underlying principles - the why before the how. The Engineering Way.

If you understand it enough to derive the formula, then given any variation of the problem - you can figure anything out. This is how i learned most of what i know anyway, french language included.

And so, without further ado -

Make Up Guide For Engineers

First, I assume you know what a mascara, lipstick, blush, powder, foundation are.

If not, I think you have a much bigger problem here. Turn off your computer screen, get out, lose your virginity then come back here when you are ready for this lesson.

Anyhoo, so many products- which to use when?

First : Rule of Textures. Apply from the lighter to heavier texture.

Definition: A texture is considered lighter if it gets absorbed more easily by the skin.

So, a serum gets to be applied first before a foundation.
A foundation before cream.
And a cream before powder.

I made you a complete cheatsheet, by order of application- because i lurvs you.

Pretty simple, innit?

Betray this order, say, put powder before your foundation and you will be mixing the two textures up- in a baaad way-like making paste.

Make up is about proper layering, not mixing all the shit up together.

Example application.
Now, i often hear this phrase-

"put on powder to 'set' the make up".

What the fuck does that mean?

The word"set" is in the Guinness Book of World Records as the word that has the most meanings- 25 in all, for Webster's sake! Engineers cannot work with that.

Second: Rule of Colors. Apply color from light to dark.

Have you ever observed how a water colorist paints? You haven't? Watch this.

Same rule goes for make up. Do the light colors first before the darker.
So you apply foundation before you blush before you contour.

So that is-

From light to heavy texture.
From light to dark color.

IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER-

Rule 1 trumps rule 2. Texture trumps color.

That means, if you have a light texture darker color, and heavy texture lighter color - the lighter texture gets applied first.

Third Rule on Applicators. Use the right material, right size for the right stroke for best results.

Right Material

If you use a liquid formula, you do not want your brush to absorb the liquid.
So you would like to use a synthetic brush for your emulsions.
If you use powder based textures, you have a wide array of choices, from cheaper synthetics to expensive sables. (For more info look at my special post on brushes).

Size
Rule is simple, the bigger area you are applying to, the bigger brush you will use.
This will help you apply more evenly.
If you want to do precise lines, use a smaller brush.

And then...

Then, i finish with the age old adage-

Once you have learned the rules, then you may fuck with them.

In doubt?

NB
You can now follow my mindfarts at tweeter@beautyandtheBS.

The BB on BB Creams

2014-05-12T15:03:00.001+02:00

-->

Beauty Balm has the same initials as Beauty and the Bullshit.

Coincidence? I think not.

I have been ignoring all this BB cream hooha for the longest time - i figure that at some point, all this -

developed by ( ~~insert adjective~~) German doctor,

does (~~insert logic-defying miracle wonders~~) heals scars

and (~~call existing feature by a new name)~~ a skin care and make up all in one

and used by ~~(insert adjective~~)Korean actresses

story is anything but new and I thought, nah, nobody falls for that anymore!

Or you will find it intriguing, try it, then find that this new cream is the same as the old one and you will move on and be all the wiser after having made cosmetic companies richer just by a few billion dollars.

However, the day that some marketing joker who is late in the BB game and had to make it up to his disgruntled executive board else he will lose his job has combined AA(Anti-Ageing) + BB to come up with the “genius” CC cream or as some version would have it, have color correction aaaaand even go to the length of giving you comparative charts that "guarantee" like this for example-

and women are now scrambling all over again to rid themselves of the BB to get the CC – the time has come for a serious bullshit intervention. Enough of this madness!

BB creams are bullshit.

Think about it. Just what do all BB creams have in common?

· BB creams can come in all kinds of textures, they could be light to heavy

· They can come in all range of coverage from sheer to full coverage

· They revel in their multifunctionality- some have SPF, some have light diffusing age concealing ingredients, some have healing properties, skin care and makeup in one, concealer too...yadda yadda yadda.

Well, hello ordinary foundation. Nothing unifies all BB creams except for that BB story.

So ask yourself before you junk your ordinary liquid foundation for some BB or CC or whatever the FF cream they might be peddling next- aside from that tired story, what difference does your BB and CC cream have from your “ordinary” liquid foundation?

Nothing.

There are 3 morals to this story-

Don’t junk your old trusted cream to try the BB just because it is BB
And don’t pay for more just because it’s BB.
Insert (~~new name~~)CC to BB in the first 2 statements whenever something new comes along.

To my personal bullshit whistle blower

2013-12-22T07:03:00.001+01:00

Today marks the 25th death anniversary of my father. He was a brilliant inventor, a so-so entrepreneur and a progressive activist.

He shunned all things pretentious and can speak heart to heart with anyone - from the president of the country to the street prostitute (but he does have a flaw of discriminating against idiots).

We had intense arguments but we always have love and respect for each other. I might not be able to visit his grave (long story) and i know this blog entry might be a cheeky way to write a commemoration to him, but i go along with the times and use this modern medium to remember a person who had such a strong positive influence to my existence and the values i hold.

As energy is neither created nor destroyed but transforms from one form to another, my thoughts and love to the 21grams of positive, passionate, pained energy unleashed unto the universe at 5 am on the 22nd of December 1988, the day he took his own life.

Positive vibes unto you Papa.

Careers in the beauty business

2013-10-24T06:36:00.002+02:00

Author's note: This post is only advisable to those contemplating on a career in the beauty biz. Can apply to bloggers who want to dig deeper, students or new graduates who want to enter the corporate side of the biz, etcetera. Not worth shit for all others.

And forewarning, uncensored language- not for the squirmish.
--------------

I regularly receive "Dear Auntie Rowena" emails from those aspiring for a career in the beauty business. Through these, I have met many a passionate individual willing to share me their story- and for that i feel so privileged, thank you. I get fielded with questions like what course to take, how do i make myself interesting enough to land a job, what should i be training myself to do and all that shit.

I have also been told that a school in L.A. offers a major in beauty industry marketing and merchandising. The school apparently says that "one should definitely study on their major in order to get into a beauty company because their programs are so much specialized than any other 4 year University" and for only $29,300 per year.

Well, er, fuck that. No one is required to take a specialized course and this is definitely not a requirement to get in the biz. Though we get people who are clever, personable, ambitious and passionate (and yes, have a college degree)- most things are learned as you go along.

But heck, some of you are more driven than others and would do anything to get ahead- and i have a lot of respect for that. But I do not wish you to fall into financial abyss by following your passion.

So I have been promising each and everyone that i will hold online courses on the corporate side of beauty and this post is a start towards that.

First of all, i will be straight with you what this course is and is not .

Personally, I will not shove it to your face. I do not think anyone 'needs' this course.

Will it give you practical knowledge on how the business works? Yes.
Will it give you a headway and make you do your job well? Yes.
Do you need it to get a job? No.
Do I guarantee it will land you an interview? No.
Will you be better prepared for an interview? Yes.

As well, though I have successfully managed a whole global brand, I have my limitations.

I am not a chemist. I do not talk ingredients or formulations.

I am not a makeup artist. I do not do how-to's and do not get all ga-ga over textures

I have 'attitude problems'. I will not scrub anyone's balls to get ahead. And I give my people credit for what I myself have done well and own up to their blunders. If you want to go corporate, this attitude will not do.

I am very good at what i do but I am not passionate about cosmetics. And life is too short to spend your life doing things just because you are good at them.

So anyway, my plan is to have short courses where you can enroll in one or more as you want and i can release them in phases. But to get into the succeeding ones, the first basic course i would suggest. I have not finalized the courses but i give you more details what they are about.

As this is a start, I do not want to offer it to a lot of people, just 20 per course. Being the course's willing guinea pigs*, the first 20 will have access to the course's future improvements and updates - provided you give me your no bullshit feedback which i will work on.
*marketeers will call you pioneers to make you feel good buying but i am not to mince my words here just to sell.

No, i will not offer a money back guarantee, so if you are not sure, ask me more questions- i will tell you no lies. And if in doubt, don't do it. I have seen enough self proclaimed wunder yogi rock star guru samurai "experts" out there who will promise you invincibility to sell more. Fuck that. I will only do it if there is truly an unforced "need" for it.

So, after all that and you still think you need special beauty business courses, read on what courses there are that i can comfortably offer as an "authority" -

Beauty quickie
A general overview of the cosmetics market from a corporate vantage point, how to evaluate a brand, how to prepare for an interview, sample actual interview questions, links to useful references. This course is very basic but i suggest it anyway so you can have better understanding of the context of the future courses. Though it will give you concepts and buzzwords, this does not give practical knowledge to do a good job once inside.
Waiting list of 50 but will preselect the first 20. Approx price 300€.
Beauty business strategy. From business expectation to industry, country, competitor analysis, to product line strategy, forecast. This course is number heavy. Brush up on your excel skills prior to start of course.
Brand pyramid and product story. Understand and dissect the context under which a brand operates and build the story about it.
This course has both theory, case studies and your own brand assignment.
Emotional branding. How to train your eye on imagery and design your own brand image.
This course is image heavy with lots of exercises. It will help you dissect an advertisement and understand the "story" behind it. I suggest you take this after a brand pyramid background to have more "context".
Product Development. Primer on product development: basics of product development, prepare a brief that will be taken seriously by your suppliers, finding and evaluating suppliers, how to conduct plant visits. Will cover all textures and packaging types.
Image Development. Construct imagery for a brand - how to plan and supervise an image shoot (with models), how to plan and supervise a product and texture shoot. I would advise this course only after courses 3 and 4 so you can have better context in planning and which is a good foundation for execution.

So if seriously interested, push this button and send me your email. I will perhaps ask you some standard question for preselection purposes and give you more details on when to start.

Cheers!

Rowena

WTF woman?

2013-05-04T08:20:00.001+02:00

I believe in woman. A fragile figure with the force of nature.

She will suffer for love and sacrifice for beauty.

She can control with tenderness and hurt with silence.

She can empower a nation and yet cringe from a spider.

Love unrequited, she will sing the most poignant songs;

Scorned, not even hell can stand her fury;

Defeated, she licks her wounds and rises again.

And again. And again.

But - how could she?

How could she believe that her beauty is lacking against a plasticized ideal?

How could she be shamed of the proof of her wise years from those peddling her a cream?

How could she think that her value is equal to the bag weighing heavy on her arm?

Yes, she is worth it- THAT is a no-brainer.

But the real question is not whether she is worth it- but rather- does she need it?

I believe in woman.

I believe she can choose to refuse these silly notions made to make her feel less of the glorious creature that she is just so one can sell more creams, more lipsticks, more bags.

I believe she doesn’t need much. And by refusing things she doesn’t need, she has the power to leave the rest of the creatures she cohabitates with their fair share of the planet.

I believe the power of her refusal can make this planet beautiful again.

I believe in woman.

And I count on her to believe in herself and save us all from our self inflicted doom.

Ten Worst Reasons To Buy Cosmetics

2013-02-18T06:02:00.004+01:00

Author's Note: This article appeared in a local Asian daily.. It is profanity-free and fit for mass consumption. I am keen to know what you think.

--------------------------

Just when you think you have enough lipstick, mascara, foundation and moisturizer stashed to last you till the shoulder pad’s second coming, there will come a New Truly Amazing Wunderkind of a Cosmetic Miracle that will send you rushing to the checkout counter faster than Apple can come out with the next generation iPhone.

DON’T. Just not yet.

As someone who worked in the global beauty industry developing these products with “irresistibly compelling arguments,” I would like to give you an insider’s guide on what the claims really mean to help you thresh out the real cosmetic gems from the run-of-the-mill rubble.

Here, without further ado, the 10 worst reasons to buy cosmetics:

10. Because “some proceeds will go to charity.”

Cosmetic companies identify with charities that they know their customers will like (children, animals, nature, aids, woman related issues), donate a miniscule amount to the charity’s high visibility PR programs and write off their expenses against taxes.
Want to really help charity? Skip the mediocre lipgloss, let the cosmetic company pay their due in taxes that help propel the nation’s growth and donate straight to the charity of your choice without commercial intermediaries.
Try Kiva.org and be instantly gratified for empowering micro entrepreneurs who try to make a difference or bahay amihan, a foundation that helps empower solo parents.
9. Because it “contains the ingredient proven/ known to cure…”

Whenever you see this claim and feel swayed by it, walk away. It is a common play on words used by marketeers to mislead. Product contains the ingredient but in proportions too small to deliver the benefit, yet enough to get away with claiming that ingredient is there all right. So that means, ingredient, present; benefit, absent.

8. Because it has a (pseudo-) medical practitioner’s “seal of approval”

Here’s the deal: all commercially-marketed products have to comply to one regulating body that sets the rules of what is safe for consumption. For us, that regulating body is the BFAD/FDA which has standard regulations, procedure and government-set fees.
When a “seal of approval” is given by other medical and pseudo-medical associations, it does not mean that a product complied with additional standards. It means that the brand outbid other brands to pay a large sum to get the exclusive seal of approval. This large amount goes to the association’s coffers controlled by the association’s officers. Not that I am implying anything but read between the lines.

7. Because it is “dermatologically tested.”

A corollary of the medical practitioner’s seal of approval, of all the claims a product can have, this is the most meaningless. Just ask this question: Dermatologically tested for what?

6. Because it is “kind to animals.”

All products are subject to the same rules and are in the same boat. They all use ingredients that have been previously tested on animals, otherwise, they would not get BFAD approval to trade. But the good news for animal lovers is that companies are not required to do anymore testing for ingredients that have been previously tested. So to claim no animal testing, cruelty free –– whatevs –– is just academic. And to insist and brag that a company is really vigilant on this one, is one big income-generating PR hype.
FYI, if a product claims to be truly innovative, they will have to test on animals to prove their claims. If they say they don’t, then be wary of that innovative claim. On another note, you cannot claim to support animal testing, then support AIDS research — because AIDS research tests on animals.

5. Because it has “patent pending innovation.”

This is how it works: If you tweak the percentage of an ingredient in a formula, or change three dimensions of your packaging –– you can already file for a patent. That doesn’t mean it will be approved though –– the process can take months to years and most times, the patent will be disapproved or just dropped. But the beauty is the company is allowed to claim to have a patent pending innovation –– and rake in sales. Patent pending? Just say no.

4. Because it is “natural.”

Foregoing the obvious argument that everything surrounding us comes from nature and is thus natural, there is no one guideline or regulation about where to draw the line and what can be claimed natural. So, what is the point?

3. Because it is “hypoallergenic.”

If you are not particularly allergic to a certain ingredient, why go for a hypoallergenic brand that rids itself of fragrances, all active ingredients then pay dearly for it? It is a manic preoccupation with needless sanitation that is costing you dearly. And get this: the term hypoallergenic is “self-controlled” –– BFAD has no predefined/accepted definition for it. So, why bother?

2. Because “ X% of women agree that …”

Ah, lying with statistics! All it takes to get a favorable statistical result is a well-chosen panel size and ambiguous questions. And if that test can be done in-house (which it almost always is), even better. And besides, your beauty is unique. No matter if 100 percent of women agree, they are not you, are they?

1. Because it is expensive.

A product is expensive because it chooses to be so. It has a higher profit margin because it has to pay for seals of approval, advertising, endorsers and its exclusive distribution channel. A higher percentage of the product cost goes to packaging, not the formula. Expensive is not an assurance that a product is good. Most times you can find exact replicas of expensive products in a mass market brand in less flashy packaging. (However, if you are buying expensive so you can brag to your friends, that is another issue altogether.)

So far, I have discouraged you from swiping that almighty plastic. But then, when Mr. MasterCard is burning a hole in the your handbag, you ask, “Okay, ex-beauty insider, what, in Santa Madonna’s name, are the right reasons to buy cosmetics?”

Well, unlike purchasing electro-gadgets that require a fair amount of Google-fu and comparative reasoning, in cosmetics, what you should trust most are your five senses and the omni-sapient feminine instinct.

Try the product first without buying. Let that overly zealous beauty rep demonstrate and make her day.Take your time to smell the faint aroma on your bare skin, feel how the texture easily subsides as you apply it, marvel at how weightless it feels, how easily it blends or how the color looks on you in different lights. Enjoy the moment and let your senses be seduced by the product.

Happy? Good. Do not purchase it yet. Walk away. (Tell the rep that you need to wear it a few hours to judge how long it lasts.) Go through the rest of your day, continue with your “leche vitrine” (the fancy French term for window shopping — literally translated, “lick the window“), see the leatest chick flick, share a bottle of New World Merlot with your bestie or a capuccino à la viennoise for the sage –– then sleep on it.

If, after this exercise, you do not have a sentimental recollection of the product and do not care much about it –– then forget it. If, however, it is something you fell in love with, enjoyed wearing and gave you that j’en sais quoi glow that your friends cannot put a finger on –– and remembered the morning after –– then you have got yourself a winner.

Go for it. Get that product and include it in your vast beauty armament.

For in cosmetics, there is only one good reason to buy ––

and that is because it makes you look and feel pretty.

* * *

If you liked this post, you might also like my "Bullshit Beauty Secrets"

* * *

Rowena has launched more than 700 cosmetic products, trained managers around the globe on branding by design and was responsible for the resurrection of a top global makeup brand. Her blog, quoted and referenced by international beauty bloggers, is heralded by Elle International magazine as the cosmetic industry’s answer to The Devil Wears Prada.

Stop and Smell The Bullshit

2012-06-29T00:22:00.001+02:00

Well hello there stranger, thought your world could use some rocking today. A little post from your friendly neighborhood bitch.

Recently, at a Body Shop in Brussels, I was asked to sign an international petition against animal testing in cosmetics.

Oh, what a delightful gem of an idea, protecting those cute fuzzy little bunnies, I thought to myself... isn't the world such a beautiful place?

But then, an alarm went ringing in my head that said:

"BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT! BULLSHIT!"

This is what I saw in my head:

The end.

Author disclaimer.

The author does not take the side of pro or anti animal testing here (Well, at least not in this post). Just that you stop and smell the bullshit before you commend in haste anyone's seemingly noble actions.

Rowena Dating 101 (aka why perhaps I am single to this day)

2012-06-01T11:02:00.002+02:00

How to Hop Over a bench in a Miniskirt

2012-04-22T04:34:00.001+02:00

(This is a repost as I am rewriting the post this originally came from)

Top 6: Those Pestering Patents

2012-03-28T06:22:00.000+02:00

Author's Note: This post can also benefit male readers, with special kudos to my colleagues from engineering. (Sorry, I missed the reunion.)
This article is part of a series countdown- Top Ten tactics to Make you buy More cosmetics.
I have done 10, 9, 8 and 7.

Now for the Top 6: Those Pestering Patents.
-------------------------------
I got three words about patents... sneaky little bastards.

Let me tell you why-

Publishing Vs. Patenting

If someone gets to concoct something really innovative, she can do either of two things:

One is to divulge it so that the whole world benefits - that is called publishing*
Or keep it exclusive so that whoever uses it, pays a price- that is called patenting.

This is the main reason why cosmetic companies hire an army of researchers, formulators, engineers and chemists- because anything they "discover" while working for the company gets to be denied to the whole world for the company's financial gain.

*A little piece of trivia- only those who publish their discoveries, innovations and inventions are eligible for a Nobel Prize. No glory for those who dig for gold here.

Perhaps you would say- well that is fair, after all, if they worked for it, they deserve to reap financial gains. Right?

I would agree (my father was an inventor and when I was a wardrobe-deprived teenager, i wished he cashed in from his inventions so I could have had more of those fantastic 80's Dynasty shoulder pads - but i digress)...

... BUT sadly, that is just half of the story.

28,462 Patents and counting...

L'Ucifer claims to have 28,462 patents... but, tell me, are your wrinkles gone yet?

You see, 99.99% of the time, a product will not have any stupefying effect on your skin- and yet, stupid moisturizer can have as much as 478 patents. What gives?

Allow me to briefly explain the technicalities of patenting.

What can you patent really?
You cannot patent just anything, silly! You must have something über-extraordinary like ...

A "Miracle" Formula. If you use whale sperm extract like everybody else, why, you can still patent your formula to contain 1. 2875% sperm whale while rest of the world use 1.28748%. And don't be shy about it, miracle worker you!
A "Magic" Ingredient. What? Your sperm extract comes only from atlantic-swimming albino whales? Extra patent points for you oh pioneering one!
An "Innovative" container. Increase the diameter of your competitor's lipstick case by 0.025mm, change its curve by 0.0025° and round the edges .0018mm more and voila! Don't see a difference? Well, numbers don't lie- so advance to GO and collect 500. Your "innovative" case is now patent worthy.
A "Special" Delivery System. So, you think my mascara wand looks like any other? Well, mine has exactly 207 hair filaments which are 3cm long twisted 8.5 times with a torque of 500joules in a .02mm wire*. Who is special now?
*I might not be making sense here, forgot most my engineering studies you see.
A "Pioneering" Idea. Hmm, seems to me that none of my competitors has thought of patenting this idea we all are using. Well let me do it for them then and sue the ass of everybody else! (See this post for more juicy details on this one.)

Ok. But let us say for example that I have this stupid moisturizer that doesn't do shit, really. (Heehee! Don't they all?)

And what if I have a technically-challenged marketing bitch (who also goes by the "original" name of "marketing guru" or "marketing ninja") that couldn't be bothered to get into the nitty-gritty of patenting. What then?

Meet "Pestering Patent's" worthy sidekick- "Trademark, the Traitor"

Instead of calling my cream a "stupid moisturizer"*, we shall now call it the Pro-ultraelectropixellizedhyaluruminizingpieceofmiracleXTM, give it a snazzy logo and a "scientific" illustration of silver hexagons and double helixes and trademark the damn thing.

* Marketing gurus and ninjas never (and i mean ever) call them "stupid moisturizers" as we have been properly indoctrinated to believe in our own shit.

You know, something like this-

For your reading pleasure, I have included here fine examples of "stupid moisturizers" other aliases.

See all these fancy products below? They all answer to one generic name....

--- stupid moisturizer.

Now, why patent if there is nothing innovative after all?

I think you all know the answer. But here is a clue anyway.

Patent is Still Pending yet Money's Already Coming

And you know what else is so beautiful? The patent pending claim. Absolute genius!

You see, after I have filed for my patents, (for a very small price, mind you) and way even before it is proven or accepted (can take a few months to a few decades) - why, I can already advertise that I have a patent pending application and give you all the illusion that I have the fountain of youth in my hands.

A concrete example- remember this product?

When it was first launched, it claimed to have been the result of 10 (or 20- but 10 bullshit year difference doesn't matter really) years of research and 20 pending patents (or a stupid number like that).

Years hence, where are 'em patents now?

Maybe this article will give you a clue as to what becomes of disapproved/expired patent applications.

But disapproved or not, doesn't really matter.

What's important is - that I was able to launch with a big bang, made a mark on you dear consumers with an illusion of a miracle who in turn gave the Council of the Clueless enough money to wipe their arses with.

And to this I have those sneaky little bastards, patents and trademarks to thank for!

Conned to Blog

2012-03-23T02:28:00.000+01:00

Author note: This post is a writing exercise to get my blogging mojo back. It is the story of how I got started blogging. There is no useful practical make up knowledge here, though it is dang scandalous anyway.
This post was prompted by two things:

A fellow blogger suggested that I get raging mad then start writing as a way to get my mojo back. And I remembered that this was how i got started- mad! So I am revisiting my stressor (as Criminal Minds would describe it), to help trigger back the fire in my loins.
I was reading Donald Trump who said - "When somebody hits you, hit them back harder" because if you don't, you are one big schmuck who deserves to be taken advantaged of.

And so, here goes the story of How Beauty and the Bullshit was born...

I had the idea of Beauty and the Bullshit while I was still in the beauty industry. I was not allowed and didn't have the time to write it back then but I registered the domain name anyway.

When i quit the biz, in spite of all the material I had, I still did not have the inclination to start blogging.

Years later, while struggling with a new business that I launched in Belgium, I was introduced to a smooth-talking, gay Asian version of George Hamilton who I will not hide with the name Miguel Sarmiento.

http://www.facebook.com/miguel.sarmiento

I have been warned that Miguel has a shady past. That he conned people to lending him millions in Manila and fled on a one way plane ticket to Singapore to avoid jail and/or death. His then roommate just found himself locked out one day because Miguel didn't pay the rent and was gone. Without a word.

In Singapore, Miguel found work assembling cellphones and would swing by classy bars after work to find a man that will save him from his misery. He found a rich gay Belgian national whom he married and had then settled comfortably in Belgium.

Miguel admitted to his past, and adds...

I have learned my lesson. I have come clean to my husband who has paid off my debts. I have changed and am a new person now and i hope you give me a second chance.

And so his ex-roommate forgave him. And that was how I met him, introduced by his ex-roommate, our common friend who visited me in Brussels that time.

However, we found out later that Miguel never admitted his past to anyone else in Belgium. In fact, he insinuates to be a relative of one of our country's ex-Presidents and that he left the country because he is pissed off by how stupid our people are*.

Anyway, Miguel has aspirations to be internationally known and to go back to our country with a vengeance. His plan was to establish himself as the new version of Robert Leech of the Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous series fame of the eighties and to do that, he will first start blogging.

Problem is, Miguel is grammatically challenged. And that is where I come in.

He begged me to write for him while my business has not yet taken off. I declined, but after a lot of prodding, begging, courting on his part, I agreed, on the condition that he pays on time. So I wrote, he paid a partial sum and then kept me hanging week by week for two months promising the rest of the money.

Money never came.

In the meantime, he was enjoying his blogger clout. Think of all the dirty blogging practices in the book - he does it all- and more.

He asks for airline ticket upgrades and if he doesn't get it, he trashes the airline
He asks for free hotel accommodations, meals for him and his boyfriends
He claims adamantly to have paid full fare for everything nonetheless
He blogs about events that never happened, name drops people he has never met (Vuitton heir, Richard Branson) and holds contests that never had prizes nor winners
He trashes fake products but buys just fakes himself

In spite of his changed situation, his nature of living beyond his reality stayed intact. Nothing has changed, and in fact he was worse.

I remember one incident - he invited me to join him watch a polo match. He claimed he was invited, yet he fumbled looking for his invitation when security asked for it. We were sent to the public viewing deck instead where he still insisted to buy a champagne in a plastic glass from a kiosk.

Later that day he wrote in his FB something like "The polo match was ok, my argentinian polo instructor's team did well and won but the VIP food was so bad that me and Rowena left early to eat elsewhere."

WTF? I didn't even see the shadow of that VIP food!

I can cite many other incidents like that- well in fact, all incidents in his life were fabulously distorted.

His blog bio boasts of a law degree when he didn't even graduate from college, having worked in CNN and the European Parliament- when in fact he didn't.

*Our embassy has declared him persona non grata and the networking group ASmallWorld has ousted him from its roster of members.

Anyway, at the final day that he was supposed to pay, he again cancelled.

And that was when I went Jessica Rabid.

I had a couple of blog posts that i wasn't submitting yet till i was paid. So I went into blogspot, registered a blog, drew the logo of Beauty and the Bullshit, then started blogging.

And so it was in July 26, 2010 after 6 hours of hammering blind and foaming at the mouth on my keyboard, that Beauty and the Bullshit was born.

And to this, I have a con artist to thank for.

-------------
Epilogue

When Miguel learned of the new blog, and realizing that I can expose his sham to the rest of the world, he started a smear campaign and fabricated stories to discredit me. Eventually, after a flurry of an email war, people caught on the real story or at least raised suspicions in his circles. He has since decreased his presence in Belgium and has set his sights in the US and now the Arab world.

To this date, he refused to take out the unpaid blog posts that I have written, took all the credit of my past work and would trash me in his posts. He also claims ownership of Beauty and the Bullshit and maintains that I should pay him for using it.

Till this day, he takes every chance he gets to do me bad.

I am not one to use my blog for revenge but I believe that if I can save another soul from being conned by this Satan's little helper, then this rant has served its purpose.

And so may the public be warned.

------------------
P.S. In my country, whistle blowers like me are sued for libel. That is to protect offenders who are most often those that make the law (or sleep with them). This con-artist makes my life hell every chance he gets- so I say- bring it on, till death do us part!

No Bullshit Product Review: MUJI MAKE UP BASE

2012-03-19T17:47:00.001+01:00

In my line of work, I never had to buy my own make up and am even paid to try them. But since I quit the industry, I have to spend my hard earned money for it.
Even with my insider knowledge, I still occasionally get disappointments from my purchases. Here is one.

Recently, I bought this Muji Clear Make Up Base.

I chose a clear make up base instead of foundation because:

Foundations look too made-up, even the light coverage ones
Foundations come only in limited number of shades (for the brand's economic reasons). So chances are, it will be dang difficult to find a perfect match to my skin color
My skin tone darkens or lightens depending on the quantity of my exposure to the sun. So even if I find a perfect match today, it will not be a perfect match tomorrow.
A clear base helps provide a good layer to hold the rest of my make up well and longer. I can look my "natural best" without seeming like I have spent much time on myself (and well, I haven't- I only spend 5 minutes max to make my Face Zero)

I chose the MUJI brand because of the ff. reasons:

ORIGIN: MUJI is made in Japan. My experience is good with most Japanese made products and brands as Japan is more stringent with its quality standards compared to FDA of US and that of Europe.
PACKAGING: MUJI has decent and yet non-superfluous packaging. No box but with a sticker seal, and just a one color printing. This means that more of the cost goes to the product rather than the packaging, ergo, I do not spend unnecesarily to show off.
As well, they chose a dropper type of delivery system. This means that there is less chance of product contamination which helps the product stay good longer.

NO TECHNOJARGON BULLSHIT: MUJI did not give me any bullshit descriptor- no techno jargon, no vitamin bullshit. It just claims SPF 15 at the back (SPF15, is nothing impressive. An SPF claim, though not bullshit, is no reason for me to buy a product). Of course it could have said some bullshit in Japanese but since I cannot read Japanese, I judged only from what i read.
NO ADVERTISING BULLSHIT: It is not promoted by celebrities or expensive advertising. But it was presented well in the counter. So I don't give the company money just to blind my judgement by celebrity and/or advertising.
GOOD TEXTURE: I tested the texture in my hand and it was just the right consistency, it is absorbed easily and did not leave a sticky sensation.
GOOD PRICE: I bought this in Asia and paid about 6€ for a 30ml.

I felt good when i bought the product. It didn't make any false promises and delivered just what I needed for a fair price.

However, after about 3 months, the formula became runny and its components have separated. %*#!!!

Now, a little technical backgrounder to explain to you what happened here.

Emulsion 101

This product is an emulsion. An emulsion is made of oil and water and as you know, oil and water do not normally mix. For them to mix, an emulsifying agent is introduced.

A good formulation which is packaged well (protected from sunlight and contamination) should remain stable for at least 3 years.

They are tested in the lab for stability by subjecting them to an elevated temperature for a few months. If the product remains stable (water and oil do not separate) during this time, it is assumed that it will remain stable for at least 3 years in normal climate conditions.*

Sub -note on expiration dates
*BTW, if a formulation is good, it can stay longer than the expiry date states. Expiry date is just a legally required guideline. Learn to judge if a formula is good aside from the expiration date and save yourself money.

So, What happened?

The formula itself is obviously not very stable.

Though the texture feels good, and the product has passed its lab stability test, lab tests are just simulations and are never a 100% assurance of a product's long term stability.

It also did not help that the packaging is white as it could not have been enough to protect the formula from the sun and heat. So, the texture is more exposed, more "aggressed" and thus broke down.

If you live in colder country and you can keep your product in a less aggressive environment, then this product might be worth the risk, though there is no guarantee.

What would I do?

To avoid this formula separation, and if I were Muji, i will :

tweak my formulation and subject them to more stringent and longer lab testing
go for a darker color packaging
I will also refund me for this texture fiasco

Will I buy this product again?

Not unless MUJI has changed the formulation and the packaging- I will not and I do not recommend you to buy it either.

Nonetheless, I will not discourage you to try the other MUJI products in the range because of the other reasons I had when I bought this product. BUT, not because it is MUJI means all products are good- be sure to try the textures that they are satisfactory and hope that they do not break down on you in the long run.

There you go! My first hands-on no bullshit product review.

In the next posts, I will write to give more guidelines in choosing your textures.

DISCLOSURE:

I received no compensation, whether it be in cash or in kind to write this review.

I have no contact with any MUJI company representative prior to this article- well, except of course for the sales person who assisted me in this sale.

PMS Journals: Dignity in Humility

2011-07-18T05:09:00.004+02:00

My mum, as she wil remain in my eyes

Today, I have witnessed my mother hold on to the last vestiges of her pride.

She is one gracious woman, who prides herself for being the proper lady. At the age of 71, she would boast that so far, in spite of her sicknesses, she has always been in control of herself, her mind and her body functions.

In her hospital bed, with dextrose on her arm and air tube stuck in her nostrils- she insisted to go to the bathroom, resisted all efforts for a bedpan or diapers inspite of doctors orders to lie down, inspite of the fact that she cannot support her weight. She had to be held down by several nurses. And yet she insisted- tearing away all the tubes attached to her body.

After an eternity of battling, she gave up, peed in her bed and wept. And I felt her tears.

Mom, the human body is frail. It will give up on us before our consciousness does.
Accepting this takes humility. And there is much more dignity in that.

You will always be the dignified human being in my eyes even if your body will have given up on you.

I love my mum.

Drawn by my nephew, Mox

Purse and Prejudice: HOW TO BE COOL

2011-07-01T17:25:00.011+02:00

Hello and welcome to Purse and Prejudice- a new section of Beauty and the Bullshit that talks fashion and lifestyle.

It will be filled with lots of inspirations - pictures, moodboards and sensorial delights but for now, a little intro - see if it rhymes with yours.

---------

COOL

It is simple.
If you are in the quest of cool. Big chance is that you are not.

Because this is the cardinal rule of cool.
Substance over style.

Let me explain.

Have you ever experienced public speaking and you fret over how you come across, what you will wear, what poses you will take, what you will do with your hands and how people will see you? Nerve wracking innit?

And uncool too.

But once you get over yourself and get into the message you will deliver, that you will fashion yourself in a way that will help in the message being understood - then message takes possession of the messenger, your substance takes over style.

You will find that getting lost in the message, you forget about yourself and you think only of how you can make your audience understand, on how you can win them over to your point of view.

That is cool.

Allow me please to give you a concrete example.

No-grade glasses. WTF for?

Not unless you are Doogie Howser (which you are not, he is a fictitious character) who needs to make himself look older to be taken seriously so as not get in the way of the message- no-grade glasses are uncool. (Ok, so Doogie doesn't wear glasses but you get the point)

Look who else are cool-

Jesus
Einstein
John Lennon
Manny Pacquiao

These people have messages bigger than themselves. Whether you buy that message or not, you have to respect the sincerity of their belief.

And the ones who are not:

Boy Bands
Kimora Lee Simmons (fabulous, which she is not anyway- is not a message)
Jlo (singer that can’t sing)

They are but marketing products, all style, no substance.

Successful? Perhaps. Cool? Not.

So, bref, want to be cool? Get over yourself already.
Stand for something.

Not sure what it is you stand for?

Search for it. Meet people, try new things, be the lowly student of life.
But do not look for answers in your navel.* That is not cool.

*there is a beautiful word for it and I think that it should be used more in conversational language. Omphaloskeptic- someone who contemplates the meaning of the universe by staring at his own navel.

Now that we established priority of substance over style, here are some thoughts on how style can support your substance.

If you read style books (and I must have read them all! I am a sucker for them and I am thinking of reviewing them all here), you get mixed messages.

They will start of with a statement like “be yourself” or "that the only rule is that there are no rules" or some shit like that.

And then, they start bombarding you with rules and rules on rules and exception to the rules and rules of the exception. What gives?

I think that there are 3 balancing acts which is up to you to decide on.

Blend In or Stand Out

Standing out is great! I love being overdressed and standing out and showing off my style (which is a combination of Mrs. Robinson, Amy Winehouse, Bianca Jagger, Jim Morisson, Iris Apfel and Jackie O- go figure). But consider this…

You get to observe and learn from people more if you make them comfortable in their own habitat. At times, have the confidence to blend in, be a local. Be just one of the crowd. .
It is easy to power play and stand out but it takes the utmost confidence to just blend in.

Beauty Vs Comfort

I am one to favor beauty over comfort.

For if i were to be honest, if i didn’t favor beauty, i will be in my adidas sweatpants and flipflops all day long. Heck I might throw in some UGG Boots in winter for good measure. And I will not wear make up.
And oh, i will also not be taking a bath.

On the other end of the spectrum, hell impossible to run in 4 inch heels at the airport, or carry a Chanel Ibiza bag in the favelas of Manila or wear mink in meeting my vegan unenlightened business colleagues.

What is your message? And how much comfort or beauty are you willing to sacrifice to deliver that message? You be the judge, you set the rules.

Important Vs Essential

An object is either important in helping you deliver your message or essential - it doesn’t play a part, you don’t care about it but you need it just the same.

If an object is important, buy the best you can afford as you cannot afford not to.

If it is essential, buy the cheapest generic shit out there.

It is either Brunello Cuccinelli or H&M, IKEA or Eames (No, I don't like Stark).

Anything in between is superfluous and money not well spent.

So decide, which things are important and which are essential?

Then, spend your money accordingly.

In the next posts, I hope to review concretely things that are essential and important and other things.
It will be all Purse and Prejudice. I hope you stay around and we can be inspired together.