Becoming my own

2012-05-25T14:58:00.000-05:00

RECALL NOTICE:

The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central   component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect = has been identified as "Subsequential Internal Non-morality," more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory- authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (BEST Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.

WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties,exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will result in the human   unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you for your attention!
-  GOD
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!

God is NOT dead!!

2012-04-09T10:45:00.001-05:00

Here is what is happening in my life right now:

My Papa fell and broke his neck
We spent two months going between Texas and Florida to support him
He came to Texas, got sicker
Multiple setback in his health
Bedsore keeping him from rehab
Their house flooded
His Social Security Number was stolen
My boyfriend got rejected from the nursing school of choice
The person that used to be my best friend won't talk to me
My family's life has been put on hold
School is exausting
I keep getting sick
I am physically and mentally exausted

BUT MY GOD IS STILL KING!!!
MY GOD IS STILL RIGHT!!!
MY GOD IS STILL IN CONTROL!!!
MY GOD IS NOT DEAD!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_OTz-lpDjw

LYRICS:
Let love explode and bring the dead to life
A love so bold
To see a revolution somehow

Let love explode and bring the dead to life
A love so bold
To see a revolution somehow
Now I'm lost in Your freedom
In this world I'll overcome

My God's not dead
He's surely alive
He's living on the inside
Roaring like a lion [x2]

Roaring He's roaring roaring like a lion

Let hope arise and make the darkness hide
My faith is dead I need resurrection somehow
Now I'm lost in Your freedom
In this world I'll overcome

My God's not dead
He's surely alive
He's living on the inside
Roaring like a lion [x2]

Roaring He's roaring roaring like a lion
Roaring He's roaring

Let heaven roar and fire fall
Come shake the ground
With the sounds of revival [x3]

My God's not dead
He's surely alive
He's living on the inside
Roaring like a lion [x4]

He's Roaring He's roaring He's roaring like a lion [x2]

odd

2012-02-06T14:05:00.000-06:00

It's funny you know, how one moment you're on top of the world and the next you're hitting the bottom of the ocean floor. I guess I never really understood why I was so akward or where my shy nature was coming from, but then I realized it. Well rather I realized what had changed in my life. All my life I had music to express everything, from soaring arpegios to resonating vibrados I had always been able to play what was in my heart and on my mind. If I was happy I could play a march or a fun tune, if I was sad I could play a slow sad piece, anger was always fun to portray because I got to be huge and strong and powerful when all I felt was small and insignificant. When I was upset all I had to do was play my trombone or piano and the rest of the world would fade away if only for a moment... but then that moment would end and I would have to come back to reality stronger and more determined to move foreward.
I remember one day, my sophomore year of highschool, I had just lost a dear friend due to a break up and me not having the self control to face him without falling apart inside. I was in the bandhall just messing around on my trombone and I was playing some durge and fell apart right there in the practice room. I had to go to the choir hall's practice room so that I could play the piano because I needed music but was crying to hard to get the air to go through my horn. I started playing a song from the movie "A Walk to Remember." It was a slow song that started off with one melody but soon added chords and harmonies and as I played, everything else faded, I didn't feel the hurt or the sadness. I felt myself being lifted and swelling and tumbling with the chord progressions and in that moment everything was perfect. But then that moment ended and I had to go back to class. I didn't know how I was going to cope, how everything would work out, all I knew was that if I could just keep it together for a few more hours I could go back to playing the piano and everything would be alright again.

I have now moved off to college and have been faced with every possible means of pain imaginable. I have bruised my lung, injured my sternum, lost a dear friend to his crazy girlfriend and that was before everything went downhill. As I am faced with many heartbreaking challenges I find myself longing to be shut into a practice room with simply a trombone and a piano. A trombone for the anger and pain, and a piano to play as I pour out my heart and empty the tears from my eyes. It's weird for me that I miss my music so much. I have never thought that I would miss music but as I look back I finally see all the little notes that music left in my heart.

I hit rock bottom when my grandfather (Papa) fell out of bed and injured his neck. The ER in Houston told him that he was fine and just gave him a pain pill and let him drive 3,000 miles to Florida. The next morning he fell in his hotel room and completely broke his neck. He spent the next month fighting for his life everyday in ICU. Then they moved him to a normal room where he got a bedsore. He finally reached rehab and it has been decided that he will not be able to walk again ever.

With the heartbreak and emotional strain of Papa being in constant pain and unable to move, semester ended. I went home and visited Granny in the nursing home. She to had fallen recently but she had only bumped her head. However, at 92 years of age, a bump on the head was all it took to send her on the downward spiral. As I visited her I watched her stop eating and slowly slip away. Then late one December night we got the news that Granny had passed away. My number one fan was no long there to cheer me on. Now Granny was not actually related to me, however she and I had a connection that nobody else shared. We could easily talk for hours on end. I was always helping her when I could and she always had something good to say about me, even when I was at my worst. I had experience death many times before this, however I was never truely close to anyone like I was to her. Her passing destroyed me. That night I was told at ten that she had passed and did not stop crying until at six am I fell asleep completely and utterly empty.

Two days later I got on a plane and flew to visit my Papa in the ICU unit in Florida. He was frail and looked horrible. It was the longest week of my life. I spent every hour at the hospital with him and was very careful to not show any emotion other than encouraging him and trying to be happy and bubbly to help mom and Nana have lifted spirits as we were with Papa. In that moment I wanted to curl up and let the world fade away. But then that moment ended, and life moved foreward.

I went back to campus and was soo happy to see my wonderful boyfriend. We got to spend some time together before classes started and we had a lot of fun. we went to the movies and to the mall. One night we were snuggling in the back of his car and I fell asleep in his hims. In that moment everything else faded away I felt happy, like everything was going to be alright, but then that moment ended. He could only stay this semester if he got into nursing school here, and on the first day of classes we found out htat he did not get into the program. This meant that my security blanket, my number one fan, and the person I thought I absolutely needed, had to go home...three hours away.

In all of this, I was pressed but not crushed, prosecuted not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed. But I was alright, because my God's not dead he's surely alive and he's living on the inside roaring like a lion. I found my self in every moment, every struggle, every heartbreak, turing to God. This is where I found my strength. As our hearts break, we cry out to God. Where as we don't understand why this is happening, we cry out to God. When we are hurt because of doctor's errors in houston, We cry our to God. When we don't have to strength to stand any longer, we fall to our knees and cry out to God. In my times of complete and untter weakness, I cried out to God and he was there, he comforted me and strengthened me. He gives me the strength for this moment and when it ends I have no fear because he will give me the strength for the next moment in its time.

Weird huh?

2012-01-27T01:01:00.002-06:00

My God, My Strength

2012-01-27T00:59:00.002-06:00

I hit rock bottom when my grandfather (Papa) fell out of bed and injured his neck. The ER in Houston told him that he was fine and just gave him a pain pill and let him drive 3,000 miles to Florida. The next morning he fell in his hotel room and completely broke his neck. He spent the next month fighting for his life everyday in ICU. Then they moved him to a normal room where he got a bedsore. He finally reached rehab and it has been decided that he will not be able to walk again ever.
With the heartbreak and emotional strain of Papa being in constant pain and unable to move, semester ended. I went home and visited Granny in the nursing home. She to had fallen recently but she had only bumped her head. However, at 92 years of age, a bump on the head was all it took to send her on the downward spiral. As I visited her I watched her stop eating and slowly slip away. Then late one December night we got the news that Granny had passed away. My number one fan was no long there to cheer me on. Now Granny was not actually related to me, however she and I had a connection that nobody else shared. We could easily talk for hours on end. I was always helping her when I could and she always had something good to say about me, even when I was at my worst. I had experience death many times before this, however I was never truely close to anyone like I was to her. Her passing destroyed me. That night I was told at ten that she had passed and did not stop crying until at six am I fell asleep completely and utterly empty.
Two days later I got on a plane and flew to visit my Papa in the ICU unit in Florida. He was frail and looked horrible. It was the longest week of my life. I spent every hour at the hospital with him and was very careful to not show any emotion other than encouraging him and trying to be happy and bubbly to help mom and Nana have lifted spirits as we were with Papa. In that moment I wanted to curl up and let the world fade away. But then that moment ended, and life moved foreward.
I went back to campus and was soo happy to see my wonderful boyfriend. We got to spend some time together before classes started and we had a lot of fun. we went to the movies and to the mall. One night we were snuggling in the back of his car and I fell asleep in his hims. In that moment everything else faded away I felt happy, like everything was going to be alright, but then that moment ended. He could only stay this semester if he got into nursing school here, and on the first day of classes we found out htat he did not get into the program. This meant that my security blanket, my number one fan, and the person I thought I absolutely needed, had to go home...three hours away.
In all of this, I was pressed but not crushed, prosecuted not abandoned, struck down but not destroyed. But I was alright, because my God's not dead he's surely alive and he's living on the inside roaring like a lion. I found my self in every moment, every struggle, every heartbreak, turing to God. This is where I found my strength. As our hearts break, we cry out to God. Where as we don't understand why this is happening, we cry out to God. When we are hurt because of doctor's errors in houston, We cry our to God. When we don't have to strength to stand any longer, we fall to our knees and cry out to God. In my times of complete and untter weakness, I cried out to God and he was there, he comforted me and strengthened me. He gives me the strength for this moment and when it ends I have no fear because he will give me the strength for the next moment in its time.

The person this is for knows who he is...

2011-12-16T20:03:00.002-06:00

Good videos - look them up on youtube or vevo for a little extra inspiration in your day

2011-12-05T17:23:00.001-06:00

Daughtry - What About Now?

Josh Wilson - I Refuse

Newsboys - Born Again

The Almost - Hands

Fireflight - For Those Who Wait

Jeremy Camp - The Way

Audrey Assad - For Love of You - Live at KLOVE

The Afters - Light Up the Sky

The Afters - Lift Me Up

Britt Nicole - The Lost Get Found

Kirk Franklin - Revolution

Jake Smith - Can't Save Your Soul

Manafest - Avalanche

David Crowder Band - SMS (Shine)

A Great Country Song - sorry I'm in a song mood

2011-11-30T10:34:00.001-06:00

Jake Owen - Don't Think I Can't Love You

Well, I learned the hard way real early in life
That money sure don't grow on a tree
And there's a few things that a dollar can't buy
The best things in life, they come free

Chorus:
So, girl, I can't buy you a big diamond ring
No house on a hill full of life's finer things
And I'll tell you right now there's a whole lot that I just can't do
Oh, but baby, don't think I can't love you

And when I get home after workin' all day
I'm beat down, girl I'm dead on my feet
But as tired as I am, if you wanna play
Well, playin' sounds real good to me

Chorus:
'Cause girl, I can't buy you a big diamond ring
No house on a hill full of life's finer things
And I'll tell you right now there's a whole lot that I just can't do
Oh, but baby, don't think I can't love you

Oh girl, I can't buy you a big diamond ring
No house on a hill full of life's finer things
But I'll tell you right now there's a whole lot that I just can't do
Oh, but baby, baby, oh baby, don't think I can't love you

Amazing Song I Heard the Other Day

2011-11-30T10:28:00.001-06:00

Desert Song Tells of God's Great Love and Provision in our Lives

This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides
Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames
Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here
Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand
Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship
Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

One of These Days - original Poem

2011-11-18T00:00:00.001-06:00

One of These Days

One of these days

I'm gonna get over

the way you made me feel

one of these days

I'm gonna stop thinking

about our ordeal

one of these days

I'm gonna fly

and soar with my broken wing

But for now

I'm gonna stand here

Taller, and stronger, and smarter

and better off without you

But for now

I'll only break down

on the inside, where you can't see me

Cause I'm better off without you

One of these days

I'm gonna burn

everything you ever gave me

one of these days

I'm gonna forget

everything you said to me

one of these days

I'm gonna laugh

every time I hear your name

But for now

I'm gonna stand here

Tall, and stronger, and smarter

and better off without you

But for now

I'll only break down

on the inside, where you can't see me

Cause I'm better off without you

One of these days

I'm gonna forget

your name, your laugh

one of these days

I'm gonna look back

and smile at the fool you are

one of these days

I'm gonna forget

everything we ever had

But for now

I'm gonna stand here

Taller, and stronger and smarter

and better off without you

but for now

I'll only break down

on the inside, where you can't see me

Cause I'm better off without you

Merry Christmas

2011-11-09T00:07:00.003-06:00

Twas the month before Christmas

When all through our land,

Not a Christian was praying
...
Nor taking a stand.

See the PC Police had taken away

The reason for Christmas - no one could say.

The children were told by their schools not to sing

About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.

It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say

December 25th is just a ' Holiday '.

Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit

Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!

CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-Pod

Something was changing, something quite odd!

Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa

In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.

As Targets were hanging their trees upside down

At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.

At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears

You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.

Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty

Are words that were used to intimidate me.

Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen

On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !

At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter

To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.

And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith

Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace

The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded

The reason for the season, stopped before it started.

So as you celebrate 'Winter Break' under your 'Dream Tree'

Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.

Choose your words carefully, choose what you say

Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS ,

not Happy Holiday !

Please, all Christians join together and

wish everyone you meet

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Christ is The Reason' for the Christ-mas Season!

2011-10-21T10:04:00.001-05:00

From Bob Rice,
From Heavens View - A Blob-Fetus-or Unborn Child

Hebrews 7:1-10

When it comes to the priestly order of Melchizedek, the first three verses of Hebrews 7 give us some of the best insights into his personality. “For this Melchizedek, king of Salem, priest of the Most High God, met Abraham returning from the slaughter of the kings and blessed him, and to him Abraham apportioned a tenth part of everything. He is first, by translation of his name, king of righteousness, and then he is also king of Salem, that is king of peace. He is without father or mother or genealogy, having neither beginning of days nor end of life, but resembling the Son of God he continues a priest forever.” I believe there is enough information on Melchizedek to agree that he is not like you or I. It can be said that Melchizedek is a type of Christ, and that he is part of an eternal order, to say anything else would to be guessing.

I was drawn to verses 9 and 10, “One might even say that Levi himself, who receives tithes, paid tithes through Abraham, for he was still in the loins of his ancestor when Melchizedek met him.” You must ask the question, was Levi a surprise to the Most High God? And the answer is no, God saw him in the loins of Abraham and yet it was over 500 years before he set foot on this earth. Levi was part of God’s plan, he was in God’s thoughts, before the creation of the world, and so were you. We often listen to men, and not to God, and that is to our shame. I am often confused; some say to an expecting mother, you are with child, while others call it a blob or a fetus. The dictionary defines fetus: “As an unborn vertebrate at a stage when all the structural features of the adult are recognizable, especially an unborn human offspring after eight weeks of development.” And in another dictionary it gave this: an unborn offspring of a mammal, in particular an unborn human baby more than eight weeks after conception.

Now, that is what the world has to say, that’s the best scientists can come up with, and the world’s wisdom is that from conception it is some kind of a blob, and then it turns into a fetus that looks just like a human baby, but if it has defects or is unwanted, it not a child, it is a fetus; now that’s strange. But we dare not call it a baby, because it may bother the person or their family who want to get rid of this embarrassment, this blob that is inconvenient. But it is somewhat confusing to me that the same culture, the same social order, will get all excited if the blob is wanted and they never refer to it as a blob, or a fetus, they call it a baby, they name it, and they show pictures of what it looks like in the mothers womb. How can that happen? I must say a little more on this subject: It make one wonder, has what the Abortionist calls a blob, ever came out anything other than a human baby? It is a simple answer; when the one who is carrying it does not want the child, they put a spin on what it is called, and God calls that murder.

One thing is for sure, many in the church are on both sides of this confusion, it seems as if what God has said means nothing to them, and if that is so, you have been taken captive by the schemes of the devil. When I read Psalm 139:16, I have no other question on when life begins, it began in the heart of God long before I was. “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them.” For my Christian brothers or sisters who are open to the killing of the inconvenient baby, O’ I know you do not call it a baby, but God does, how can you read this and say that is not what I believe. Has God given you a choice on what part of Scripture you can believe, I think not, it is written, what happens to the person who does that, and it is not about heaven. I also know that many a young lady has gone the abortion route, only to have great guilt later, that also is not God’s doing, ask and you will be forgiven, and it then becomes the past. And if it is still coming into your mind, it is not coming from God.

encouragement

2011-10-19T21:15:00.002-05:00

When your burdens seem too much to bear…
• 'Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.' Psalm 55:22

When you doubt God's care for you…
• 'Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the LORD forever.' Psalm 23:6
• 'God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.' Psalm 46:1
• 'For he orders his angels to protect you wherever you go.' Psalm 91:11
• 'The LORD keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever.' Psalm 121:8
• 'I will be your God throughout your lifetime - until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.' Isaiah 46:4

When you wonder if the Bible is true and accurate…
• 'All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It straightens us out and teaches us to do what is right.' 2 Timothy 3:16
(Sidenote: The Bible is also historically accurate – the events that happened in the Bible are recorded in history. Take the Roman Census as one example.)

When you think God is always angry at you…
• 'The LORD is merciful and gracious; he is slow to get angry and full of unfailing love.' Psalm 103:8

When you wonder if God cares what happens to you…
• '"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope."' Jeremiah 29:11

When you feel abandoned by God…
• 'Understand, therefore, that the LORD your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and constantly love those who love him and obey his commands.' Deuteronomy 7:9

When you need some comfort…
• 'The LORD is close to the broken-hearted; he rescues those who are crushed in spirit.' Psalm 34:18
• 'He heals the broken-hearted, binding up their wounds.' Psalm 147:3

When you feel emptiness inside…
• 'For he satisfies the thirsty, and fills the hungry with good things.' Psalm 107:9
• 'And I will give you a new heart with new and right desires, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony heart of sin and give you a new, obedient heart.' Ezekiel 36:26

When you need the courage to go on…
• 'I command you – be strong and courageous! Do not be discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.' Joshua 1:9
• 'You will have courage because you will have hope. You will be protected and will rest in safety.' Job 11:18
• 'The high and lofty one who inhabits eternity, the Holy One, says this: "I live in that high and holy place with those whose spirits are contrite (when you feel remorse or guilt) and humble. I refresh the humble and give new courage to those with repentant hearts."' Isaiah 57:15

When you become impatient for God to act…
• 'The LORD is wonderfully good to those who wait for him and seek him.' Lamentations 3:25

When you think your sins are too big for God's forgiveness…
• '"Come now, let us argue this out," says the LORD. "No matter how deep the stain of your sins, I can remove it, I can make you as clean as freshly fallen snow. Even if you are stained as red as crimson, I can make you as white as wool."' Isaiah 1:18

When you need more strength to go on…
• 'He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak. Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will give up. But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. ' Isaiah 40:29-31

When you don't feel safe…
• 'He will protect his godly ones, but the wicked will perish in darkness. No one will succeed by strength alone.' 1 Samuel 2:9
• 'The LORD is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble.' Psalm 9:9

· No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:37-39

Rose

2011-10-19T20:38:00.002-05:00

Looking out upon the vast fields of eternity

A simple rose is still in bloom,

Yet beyond that rose doth apear another rose,

though not so fair when to the first I compare

In this field the roses fade, though none desire this fate.

Tis the same with love though few believe

True love fades as time steals the heart.

The young fair maiden as a rose will be

Trampled by all and left without

A rose blooms quickly with bountiful colors

Then quickly fades in to shades of grey.

Love at first is sweet and grand

Then time marches on chasing the heart

It chases the rose and devours the beauty

In the end all love dies, all flowers fade and all beauty falls.

I wanna see the Colors

2011-10-19T20:15:00.001-05:00

I wanna see the fire in the sky,

I wanna see the baby’s blue eye.
I wanna see the colors run
I wanna see the light of the sun.

All I see is black and white,

Never bright, always under attack,
Surrounded by a cloud, stranded in my mind
and all I see is black and white.

I wanna see the fire in the sky,
I wanna see the baby’s blue eye.
I wanna see the colors run
I wanna see the light of the sun.

Black and white to shades of grey
The world becomes brighter with every day
The storm is passed, the rain is gone
Yet the dreary shades carry on

I wanna see the fire in the sky,
I wanna see the baby’s blue eye.
I wanna see the colors run
I wanna see the light of the sun.

I carry on, walk along
The nights grow short,
The days grow long
The colors soon again report

I wanna see the fire in the sky,
I wanna see the baby’s blue eye.
I wanna see the colors run
I wanna see the light of the sun.

I stand tall and smile, hide the tears for a while
Darkness fades, fears subside
The colors return like the ocean tide
Hearts all heal, days gain appeal
The broken is fixed, the lights are switched

I wanna see the fire in the sky,
I wanna see the baby’s blue eye.
I wanna see the colors run
I wanna see the light of the sun.
I wanna see the fire in the sky,
I wanna see the baby’s blue eye.
I wanna see the colors run
I wanna see the light of the sun.

Warrior or Wimp?

2011-10-10T11:03:00.002-05:00

     What do we do when we hit rock bottom? When life seems to destroy us what do we do? We cry out to God. We wait to call on him until we are at the very bottom, the lowest point in our lives. Why do we wait until we are so desperate that we just have to cry out as a last resort. Why don't we cry out when life is good? Why do we cry out when we first start to get in trouble. Why do we call on God as a last resort? We have abandoned God and in the process the willingness to do the right thing before God. We have given up on loving God and honoring him. We do not realize that the consequences of disobeying God are not just limited to us. When we disobey God we affect everyone around us, our friends, our families, our collegues, and our leaders. We hurt ourselves and those we love.
     We are wimps. We are losers. We are so scared to stand up for our faith, yet we are afraid to talk to that stranger sitting beside us because they may think we are weird. Well, Christ died for them, Paul was persecuted for them, Stephen was stoned for them, Missionaries die for them. Yet, we don't talk becuase they might think we are weird. Where did we go wrong?
     We went wrong when we took Chist out of our every moment life. We schedule him into our Sundays and some even on Wednesday. We call ourselves good little Chistians because we went to church and checked it off of our to do list. But why is he not allowed at school with us? why is he not allowed at work, or with our friends, or our families? why do we put him in a box on the shelf? When did we go from GOD OF THE UNIVERSE WHO CREATED EVERYTHING AND IS IN EVERYTHING to God, that guy we pray to when we need something and sometimes visit on sundays.
where did we go wrong?

2011-10-07T11:34:00.002-05:00

Dear Family,

It has been a very emotional few days for us, but Will has made the decision to leave Texas College after this semester. Things there are not very good and we wonder how the college continues to operate.

His classes are pathethic. He should be in college algebra and instead, they are working on a 5th-6th grade level. Will spends part of his class time helping other students who are unable to add two digit addition problems. In his sophomore level literature class, he is one of the few who can read above an elementary level.

Drugs are rampant. Classes are completely out of control with students yelling out and talking continuously. Scholarship money that was promsied has not been paid and the team will not be playing any other colleges this fall in baseball due to funding.

Will is completely frustrated because he is not learning anything. He contacted a friend who teaches at Blinn in Brenham and was also the assistant baseball coach for 5 years. He told him what was going on with the academics and asked if it would look bad for him to forego baseball in order to not get behind academically. He was told Will that "is the right way" and that he would be respected for putting academics first. He said that good kids will often get a better shot sometimes than those who have loads of talent. He thinks that Will would have as good a chance as anyone in walking on next fall and with Will's talent leaving TC to go to Blinn will look better in most coaches eyes. He advised Will to contact Coach McIntrye at Blinn after the fall season is over.

Will talked with his coaches at TC and they told him to go home for the weekend and talk with us before giving them a decsion on Monday. The coaches understand and are very aware of all of the academic problems with the college. Why they don't let prospects know is really unfair.

Will's roommates are transferring out as well as a good number of his teammates. The culture there is very difficult and racism is an issue. No one talks to him other than baseball players.

He is trying to contact the UT Tyler coach, but if nothing comes of that, he will be back home in December for the spring semester. We know that God is not surprised by any of this and that there is a plan. We are proud of Will for looking at the big picture and the academic importance of getting a good education. He has faith that God will provide him a place to place ball. It was hard for all of us to come to this point, but know that it is the right thing.

We appreciate prayers for apartment leases ( that is all another whole story) and we still hope for a baseball miracle...

Love you all

The Dunlaps

Tonite, Without You

2011-10-07T11:29:00.002-05:00

tonight, I am going to live
tonight, I am going to be
tonight, I am going breath
for the first time
cause without you, I am strong
without you, I am smart
without you, I have all I need

I scream without lungs and shout without a tongue
I jump and dance but am invisible in my seat,
I starve myself to be thin, but only self- esteem is gone
I search for light with only darkness around
I cry my heart out, but you only see a smile on my face
I am beaten and destroyed, but you will never see
I am invisible, but that's alright with me.

cause tonight, I am going to live
tonight, I am going to be
tonight, I am going breath
for the first time
cause without you, I am strong
without you, I am smart
without you, I have all I need

There are still days where the sun don't shine
there are still tears that fall on dry cheeks
there are still seconds that last forever
but that's alright behind my smile
cause behind my smile I fall apart
I shout with a closed mouth
I fight against the invisible pains
I am invisible, but that's alright with me.

cause tonight, I am going to live
tonight, I am going to be
tonight, I am going breath
for the first time
cause without you, I am strong
without you, I am smart
without you, I have all I need

Forgiven by my momma

2011-10-07T11:26:00.001-05:00

You always say, “Trust is earned”

And you think by now I must have learned

But still I mess up and blow it

But you still love me and you show it

Every baby is born with blue eyes

Every opportunity comes with a small disguise

I am starting again and this time I hope

is different because I am sick of this selfish dope

I am sorry for messing up

But I am blessed to have you to see when I look up

You lead me and show me

The way to grace and God’s glory

Letter from God

2011-10-07T11:25:00.003-05:00

My Daughter,

This is God with a little

Advice for your life so brittle

Always have friends like peas in a pod.

Because that is what I want for I am God.

Live your life for all that it is worth

And do not forget my precious son’s birth

I watch you and I made you

You are who I want you to be.

Please don’t let me see

You not living your life for me.

I knit you in your mother’s womb

As I watched my son go in the tomb

I sent him for you to see

What my plans are for you to be.

Don’t fall short of living your life

Always know I am there through struggle and strife.

For I am God you father forever and I love

you my daughter your are more beautiful than a dove.

This is God and I am here for you to see

Please become what I want you to be.

Love,

God your Father everlasting

2011-10-07T11:24:00.001-05:00

Amazing Song!

Teach me to number my days
And count every moment before it slips away Taking all the colors before they fade to gray I don't want to miss even just a second more of this

It happens in a blink
It happens in a flash
It happens in the time it takes to look back I try to hold on tight, but there's no stopping time What is it I've done with my life It happens in a blink

When it's all said and done
No one remembers how far we have run
The only thing that matters is how we have loved I don't want to miss even just a second more of this

It happens in a blink
it happens in a flash
it happens in the time it takes to look back I try to hold on tight but there's no stopping time What is it I've done with my life It happens in a blink

Slow down, slow down
Before today becomes our yesterday
Slow down, slow down
Before you turn around and it's too late

It happens in a blink
it happens in a flash
it happens in the time it takes to look back I try to hold on tight but there's no stopping time What is it I've done with my life It happens in a blink

So you thought you had to keep this up
All the work that you do
So we think that you're good
And you can't believe it's not enough
All the walls you built up
Are just glass on the outside

So let 'em fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now

This is where the healing begins
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won't disappear

So let it fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now
We're here now

Oh This is where the healing begins
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don't fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us

This is where the healing begins
This is where the healing starts
Come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

2011-10-07T11:23:00.001-05:00

How Can I Be My Best?

How can I be my best

When all my life’s a test?

Who am I loyal to?

What am I supposed to do?

I need to do this

But I want to do that.

I feel like a mouse

Chased by a great cat.

How can I be my best

When all my life’s a test?

I see friends going down the wrong path

While I’m stuck sitting in math.

In a world full of girls

Who love boys and hate curls

How can I be my best

When all my life’s a test?

How can I be my best

When all my life’s a test?

Not by chance

But my being MY best

I will pass my life’s test.

For the Love of a Rose

2011-10-07T11:22:00.002-05:00

For the Love of a Rose

Looking out upon the vast fields of eternity

A simple rose is still in bloom,

Yet beyond that rose doth apear another rose,

though not so fair when to the first I compare

In this field the roses fade, though none desire this fate.

Tis the same with love though few believe

True love fades as time steals the heart.

The young fair maiden as a rose will be

Trampled by all and left without

A rose blooms quickly with bountiful colors

Then quickly fades in to shades of grey.

Love at first is sweet and grand

Then time marches on chasing the heart

It chases the rose and devours the beauty

In the end all love dies, all flowers fade and all beauty falls.

2011-10-07T11:21:00.000-05:00

Christmas is the time of year,

When all the family gathers near.

Those at colleges far away,

Come home to celebrate the special day.

For around this day many years ago,

Joseph took Mary on a journey long and slow.

For the king at that time was a strange old man,

He wanted the people counted in all the land.

So to the town of Bethlehem the young couple went,

Poor Mary was pregnant and no room could they rent.

There was only one place for them to stay,

It was a dirty old stable filled with hay.

But the filth didn’t matter when baby Jesus came,

For he was born of a virgin and without any shame.

The shepherds were watching their flocks that night

When all around them appeared such a sight.

There was singing of glory to God most high,

While the brilliance of angels lit up the sky.

When the angels had left and the sky had grown dim,

The shepherds went to find Jesus so they could worship him.

The wise men came also when they had heard

And brought lovely gifts of gold, incense, and myrrh.

This birth always draws families close together,

So they can share love and joy with one another.

I hope this Christmas we will all see,

How humbly Christ came to save you and me.

2011-10-07T11:19:00.001-05:00

Psalm 121:1-3

¹ I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
² My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.

³ He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.

Exodus 14:14

¹⁴ The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Psalm 16:1

¹Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge.

Psalm 18:30

³⁰As for God, his way is perfect: The LORD’s word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him.

Psalm 34:8

⁸Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

Psalm 13:5

⁵But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.

Psalm 33:22

²²May your unfailing love be with us, LORD, even as we put our hope in you.

Psalm 36:5

⁵Your love, LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.

Isaiah 40:28-31

²⁸ Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.