Becoming Our Destiny

Final post (at least for this blog)

2006-11-08T17:47:00.000-05:00

I'm sure this post isn't really necessary, considering the obviousness of my not having posted for months. No sense being in the blogosphere if you don't post at least somewhat regularly.

I was blessed during the time I interacted with many of the people here, and I pray that I will be able to do so again some time in the future.

I have thought about starting another (different) blog, but I want to make sure it's something I will hold to for a while. I did post here for about 8 months before trailing off. I wonder how many bloggers come and go after a short while.

Well, until we meet again, I thank you all for reading and participating, and I pray that any of my posts on your sites were a blessing as well.

Jeff

Long time gone; coming back slowly but surely

2006-07-28T13:30:00.000-04:00

Hi all,

It's been busy for my wife and myself these past several months since we've been preparing to move and find jobs here in Texas. We are now temporarily living in a hotel while our home is being built. We hope it will be finished before the end of August. So far it's looking great. Y'all come on down and we'll have a great time!

I'm going to try and answer some currently unanswered comments, but please forgive me if I don't get to all of them. I'm going to try to write at least something on a weekly basis.

God bless you all, and I look forward to slowly but surely catching up on your blogs as well.

Jeff

Quick update

2006-02-17T16:18:00.000-05:00

It's been so busy lately. We sold our home, and have staked a claim on property in Texas. I figure we'll need to be out of our current place some time near the end of April. We'll rent for a while in a place near where we live now before heading down some time in the summer. So in the next several weeks we'll have to get all of our stuff out of our place and put some in storage and get rid of some.

Because of the move--the busy-ness of the coming weeks and the shortness of time until we leave for Texas--my wife, Kim, and I are slowly backing out of our ministry responsibilities. I'm also still looking for employment in Texas--nothing for sure yet. Thankfully I have made some connections with people in upper management, who are letting others know about my job hunt. For the past 18 months or so, Kim and I have felt assured this is God's will, so we know He won't lead us astray. He may not work on our timetable, but He's never late. Kim is pretty much assured of employment, so I'm thankful for that. My position with my current company is by no means assured. There have been several downsizings since I've been in my current division, and from what I can see I'm very near to being the next one out whenever another downsizing occurs. So I'll most definitely need to find another job one way or the other. It doesn't look good for my current company--there are very few job openings of any kind available in the whole country, and nothing for my skills. Oh well. God has known this day would come.

We also have made slow but sure progress in our adoption paperwork. The dossier is a threatening pile of to-dos, but we know we have to take it one step at a time.

Our ongoing challenge with our medical insurance continues. I don't know how many hours I've spent on the phone trying to straighten things out. And each time it seems to be fixed, either something else happens with that situation or another problem develops with a different medical issue.

I do want to keep this blog going, and believe I will once things settle down a bit. Many thanks to those of you who still stop in every now and then to see how it's going or to say hello. God bless you, and God willing I'll be back.

Moving to Texas

2006-01-19T11:22:00.000-05:00

I realize my posting has been scant of late, but my wife and I have been very busy. I didn't want to write about our move to Texas until we told our family and other loved ones. But now I think it's safe to spill the beans. A couple of weeks ago my wife and I met with a real estate agent she knows, and we decided that now was a good time to put our home on the market. We plan to move some time in early to mid-summer, so please keep that in your prayers. For much of what would have been our free time we were cleaning and organizing and doing some minor repairs.

We are flying out to Kim's (my wife) sister and brother-in-law in Texas to visit and look at the available properties. We also will be meeting with a design team.

This year is also busy because we will be finalizing our adoption of Sarah Joy and flying to China to pick her up.

I will certainly fill you in with more details in the coming days and weeks.

Please keep this in your prayers. I apologize for not keeping up with the bloggers I usually visit quite regularly. For the next several months I might need to post and read other blogs less (I'll try for at least once per week), but once we get everything settled I hope to be blogging more regularly.

Be well and may the Lord bless you.

Jeff

Resolved: Make resolutions happen

2006-01-04T13:44:00.000-05:00

For those of you who have not yet become jaded by New Year's resolutions, just give it some time. The excitement of the calendar rolling over to January will one day become a knowing sigh that sounds something like, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Twice? Ha!!! I can't count how many times I "vowed" to make the new year one that would lead people to write about how great of a person I was.

Oh, I was something special for a few days or even weeks. But once it no longer felt like a new year, the old Jeff started creeping back. Perhaps some of my resolutions stuck, but not necessarily because I kept thinking of them as resolutions. They simply became a part of me. Within a few weeks of New Year's Day, I probably couldn't remember what resolutions I made (maybe I need to resolve to be better organized so I can find my resolutions, eh?).

So why do resolutions so often go by the wayside, and how can we do better at making them stick? Here are some of my thoughts; please feel free to add yours:

First, I think we need to do away with the idea that somehow New Year's Day is the best day to resolve to do anything. If we see something about ourselves that needs changing, do something about it now. If I've waited until the new year, how resolved could I possibly be about addressing that issue in the first place?

We also need to always keep in mind M. Scott Peck's obvious but often forgotten truth: "Life is difficult." I don't know about you, but I tend to make resolutions when I feel excited about doing new things, but once the euphoria wears off and the challenges come, I'm ready to say "later." More often than not I will probably not feel like doing many of the things that have the potential to turn my life around, but I'll usually feel better afterward for having done them. In fact, even getting started makes me feel more motivated to do that thing than sitting there waiting for the motivation to hit me.

And perhaps we resolve to change too much too soon. I tend to create large lists of things I want to change about myself, and then I look at it and think, "It's too much." So I do nothing. Or I make half-hearted stabs. I think in the future I'll look at a handful of things that matter most in my life, and address them. At least I'll be a little better than I was by year's end. Hey, it beats setting lofty goals that I come nowhere near meeting.

Finally (at least for now), it might help me to visualize the potential outcomes based on doing/not doing what I resolve. What will I look and feel like in 20 years if I don't eat better and exercise more? How much joy will my wife experience if I write her more notes and cards?

I'll have to think through a handful of things I want to accomplish during 2006, and then pray for wisdom, courage, and strength to carry them out. May each of us be a little bit better come January 1, 2007. God bless you all.

New Year, resolution

The tragedy of miscommunication

2006-01-04T13:08:00.000-05:00

If you know how to Google the news stories about the mining tragedy in West Virginia, and put them in chronological order, you'll see a cacophony of fact and opinion rolled into what's purported to be news. As most of us now know, 12 of 13 miners have died, with the one survivor in critical condition. Of course, I'm not a reporter, so I'm just going by the latest I've read on this.

Many of those who call themselves journalists have shamed (even further?) the profession by printing an unsubstantiated report of the miner's survival. However the miscommunication occurred, that it somehow "became" fact spread across internet sites and newspaper covers shows the poor quality of fact-checking seen in our mainstream media. Let's hope the weeklies at least get it right.

God help those families who were celebrating what they thought was the miraculous recovery of their loved ones, only to find out later they were terribly misinformed. I can't imagine the tremendous letdown they felt, going from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows. We may never know for sure who said what where and to whom. What matters is that a severe disservice was done to these families and to the honor of journalistic integrity and professionalism.

And may that one miner who is the true and verified miracle find speedy recovery.

The attached picture can be found at http://apnews.myway.com/

Santa's real priority

2005-12-23T13:16:00.000-05:00

Have a wonderful, Christ-filled Christmas, all!

Christmas gift: Healed relationships

2005-12-22T13:37:00.000-05:00

My wife and I were recently discussing a relationship I have, barely, with somebody I would like to be closer with. Since I felt he hadn't pursued spending time with me (I feel I'm usually the one who initiates communication and plans to get together), I decided to let it remain at the status quo. After all, I thought, why bother? Does he feel that things are fine the way they are? Maybe he's not aware of how I feel. But my wife is challenging me to not leave it at that. She suggested I wish him a Merry Christmas, and then see if he initiates something in the near future. It needs to be a two-way street.

Part of the reason I've balked at moving forward is because it's scary. Will he accuse me of putting him down, saying "So you think I don't care? How could you?" Will he say, "I don't know what you mean. Things are fine between us." Will the initial moments of communication be so awkward that I'll wonder if it's so much easier to give up and say, "Well, I tried, but that's just the way it is"?

I'm sure I could have done better in our relationship. We need to talk about it and find out where we are, why we are there, where we want to go, and how best to get there. If it's not meant to be, then that's how it will have to be. But I shouldn't leave so many questions hanging.

Initially, I was frustrated that my wife brought it up. I wanted her to commiserate with my pouting. But she has always been one who, though she loves me as I am, cares enough to want me to make the best out of life. She wants me to have the best relationships possible. I am a much better person because of her prayers, support, and encouragement. And tough love. Sometimes even us adults need tough love.

Please pray for me during this time, that I will have the words to say, the proper timing, and the love and courage with which to say them. And if you are in a similar situation, let me know and I'll pray for you too.

The Real Santa Claus

2005-12-21T16:53:00.000-05:00

Gene Edward Veith at World Magazine shows us the real Santa Claus, a devout Christian named Nicholas of Myra, who participated as a delegate to the Council of Nicea in AD 325. He personally knew the One who provided him, and fellow believers, a better gift than he could ever deliver: eternal life. And he would likely be appalled at who he has (supposedly) morphed into.

HT to Doulos at Random Responses, where this article is linked from.

A (recycled) Christmas poem

2005-12-21T12:58:00.000-05:00

Here's a poem I wrote a couple of years back. Yes, unlike my stepson, I'm too lazy to actually work on something new! ;)

Christmas in Old Clothes
Christmas glitter gilds the town
Far as the eye can see:
Garland strung on every house,
Lights bright'ning every tree.

Shoppers shop until they drop;
The merchants clap with glee.
Wide-eyed children gape at gifts
They long for desperately.

A young boy and his sister
Hear Mom and Dad decree:
"Christmas cannot come to us
This year, unless it's free."

"Christmas free? How can that be?!"
Most shopping ads agree.
"Oh how indeed!" they wonder,
Those siblings, weepingly.

Just then they spot a veteran-
His smile wide as the sea-
Come to house of boy and girl
Where Christmas shall not be.

Their parents stare in wonder:
"He's far worse off than we.
His clothing looks so ragged,
And yet he's so carefree."

"I have a gift," he tells them.
The children shout, "Whoopee!"
While Mom and Dad both whisper,
"What kind of fool is he?"

He speaks to them of comfort
And precious majesty
That he has learned to notice
Since Christmas came for free.

"I've spent my share and then some,
And much has come to me
In packages and parcels
Which lie beneath the tree.

"Behold my few possessions;
Yet foolish would I be
To trade them for those presents
I loved so jealously.

"For in my heart is Jesus;
Look in my eyes and see
A joy, which He has given,
And which He offers thee."

For Jesus says, 'Where's Christmas
Amid this revelry?
Why do you have the season
And yet think not of Me?'"

"Kind sir, would you please tell us
How you expect that we
Could dare to ask for Jesus,
Yet offer poverty?

"Our rent's past due three months now;
Our bills we cannot meet.
The landlord has just warned us
We'll soon be on the street."

"Please listen, my dear people,
And take a look at me;
For what I have to give Him
Is only what you see.

"I too was shamed to face Him-
'What wretchedness you be,'
I've heard the folks of this town
Spew hatefully at me."

And yet I'm God's dear child;
While they, though rich may be,
Do worship worthless riches;
That's all the heav'n they see.

"You need to, therefore, offer
Yourselves on bended knee,
And hearts that are repentant
Toward Christ who died for thee."

"This gift, it is so precious.
What kind of Savior, He,
Who offers richest pardon
By perishing for me?

"Is that all He requires,
No costly gift or fee,
No presents He can open
From underneath a tree?"

"Please turn from holding onto
That which you now believe:
That gifts He holds most precious
Are underneath a tree.

"For we do quite insult Him
When giving as though we
Can gain from Him a present
Which He has granted free."

"Oh, let us now Him follow;
Let no more fettered be
Our hearts to dying riches.
He's joy, eternally."

Our son is so gifted

2005-12-21T12:46:00.000-05:00

My wife and I, along with her friend, watched our son's school production of Christmas Comes to Detroit Louie (see yesterday's post). He performed so well. I look forward to seeing him continue to blossom and show the world the gift God has given him. He doesn't merely recite in monotone. He gets into the character. That's quite special for a young teen. There's another play coming up in the Spring. Not sure what it is yet, but my wife and I are looking forward to it.

If you get a chance, read the script. There's a definite Christian message within. Being a public school, they had to tone it down somewhat, but I think they did mention the Bible and the "baby in the manger," so that's better than a lot of public schools. From what I could tell, there were no outcries of protest against it. Also, our son prayed with the other kids prior to the rehearsal and the play. He said it was OK since it was student initiated.

I pray that the true message of Christmas got through to the people who were watching. That the kids prayed in advance leads me to be encouraged about that.

How to fail: Get excited about planning, not doing

2005-12-20T12:11:00.000-05:00

I can get so excited about planning my life and my upcoming days. I have a pretty good picture of what I want to be down the road. Each month I take the time to think through and pray about what I can do for each key role (Faith, Fitness, Family, Friends, Favor, Finances, Firm, Fun) to move toward the vision I believe God has for me.

I put a check mark next to the things I've completed, and an X next to those things I neglected to do. So often at the end of the month, there are too many X's. So, I'll read something about motivation or inspiration or mission building, and I'll get all excited about next month. "OK, I'm really ready to rocket ahead this time," I tell myself. And yet as the month goes on, I'll realize I'm not keeping up.

Am I putting too much on my plate? Am I unfocused (I believe that is a problem of mine)? Do I depend too much on how I feel (probably)?

As for the "how I feel," I know that when I react to what I want to do rather than prioritizing what's best to do--despite the initial feelings, I end up feeling worse in the end than if I did what was best--which ultimately leads to good feelings.

How about you? Are you sometimes too big-eyed about your plans for your life? If you are falling behind your plans, do you think it's because you can't or won't keep up? What's holding you back? I'd love to hear some advice and testimonies. God bless. Let's be doers and not just planners.

A star of a son

2005-12-20T11:59:00.000-05:00

My 14-year-old stepson has landed the starring role of Detroit Louie in his school's production of Christmas Comes to Detroit Louie. He has shown his acting proficiency in past productions, and I believe he will excel in this play and in future acting endeavors. He stood out in as Mr. Potter in It's a Wonderful Life. My wife and I helped him rehearse for both plays, and he was so into it. I think it's great that a young teen can develop such a passion for something that can be so productive. God willing he'll have plenty more opportunities to show the talents God has given to him.

What are some things your children have done that have made you proud, and that have made you see something of a future talent or gift in them? For those of you with adult children, when did you first get the impression that they would become who they are now?

What inspires you to change?

2005-12-15T09:45:00.000-05:00

Earlier this week, I ministered to some teens at a nearby youth detention center. It's always an honor to bring God's word and love to these young men and women who have gone astray but who are now trying to get on the right path. When I finished, the pastor over that ministry thanked me, but added that I might want to include more of my personal experiences when I speak with them.

I can see his point. If they can see some of the struggles I've been through, even what I'm going through now, they'll realize that we all have it tought. We all make mistakes. And we stumble and get up, stumble some more, move forward, and so it goes.

Hopefully my blog has been at least somewhat balanced between talking of my failures and successes, giving examples of failures and successes from the news, and inspiration from Scripture. At least until heaven, only God will know what impact my words (and those who minister with their own blogs) will have. And I'm thankful for the feedback I've received from those who grace my blog with their presence.

I don't like reading blogs that only give instruction, with nary a word about their own person experience, including mistakes along the way. Maybe because they lack the human touch? Nor do I seek out those blogs that merely describe a person's day in the life (though these do seem to be quite popular; to each his own, I say). I guess I see the focus of my blog as a ministry. Some people like to just like to chat, and that's fine. Not every blog has to make a point of changing people.

But for those of you who like reading blogs that inspire you to grow into a better person, what do you look for? A slice of life mixed with instruction? Or more of one or the other? I'd love to hear from you on this. God bless.

about me, faith, health and wellness, my life, religion

This color doesn't run

2005-12-15T09:37:00.000-05:00

The purple finger of an Iraqi voter who braved the perils of election day. God bless them all.

Tags: Iraq, news and politics, world news, terrorism

HappyNews.com

2005-12-14T17:37:00.000-05:00

OK, so it may not be the whole truth, but aren't we tired of news agencies focusing on the bad news so that we grow more and more cynical? Have you viewed the site? What's your opinion?

happynews.com

Cute, but it's been done before

2005-12-14T17:20:00.000-05:00

Mayor Roberto Pereira da Silva has proposed banning death as a way to protest a bill banning expansion or construction of cemeteries in their town.

Of course, about 2000 years ago Jesus "banned" spiritual death for those who believe on and trust in Him for new life. I know it won't happen, but imagine if God had to be concerned about heaven overflowing? Well, at the very least may the knowledge of Jesus Christ as the heart of the Christmas season greatly increase the number of future residents of heaven.

Tags: Mayor Roberto Pereira da Silva, Christmas

Depraved Iranian President

2005-12-14T16:38:00.000-05:00

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad claims the Holocaust is a myth, and that Israel should be moved or wiped off the map.

Because of his power of office and of influence, Hitler and his propaganda machine convinced millions of Europeans that the Jews were deserving of sub-human status and, ultimately, extinction. President Ahmadinejad status will no doubt lead many Iranians to follow suit. Israel and the Jews have not exactly been honored by Europeans and the Middle East, so this will add fuel to an already smoldering fire. Unless there continues to be widespread denunciation of these comments, and unless the Iranian government itself takes President Ahmadinejad to task, a major conflagration could result.

The Bible says that to whom much is given, much will be required (Luke 12:48). The Lord has allowed the Iranian president his power (Romans 13:1), so that president is responsible to consider his thoughts before he puts them into words, especially knowing he may lead millions of Iranians to believe as he does.

I wield a much smaller reign. My influence is limited to my family and, to a lesser extent, the couples group my wife and I lead. I can't be sure how much the people in our group follow my words or example, but the fact I have been granted a leadership position by my church means they expect me, along with my wife, to influence for good and for God. If we are not having an impact, our leadership is little more than figurative. Believe me, I'm far from developing a cult of personality--in fact, I am very humbled by the fact I was even considered for co-leading the group. I realize that as a leader with the potential to influence a small group of people, I am ultimately responsible to God to a greater degree than if I didn't have such authority.

Dear Lord, please help this president see how his outrageous comments can cause grave harm. Open his eyes to the truth, especially the truth of who you are. Thank You for allowing my wife and I to lead our couples group. We are humbled and honored to be chosen, and may we honor and glorify You and bless those under our care. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Tags: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Iran, president, leadership

The devil's in the details

2005-12-14T16:29:00.000-05:00

Click the header for the story.

Are some cases of mental illness spiritually driven? Did this woman's history with Voodoo and Santeria mess up not only her spirit but also her mind? Either way, a 17-month-old girl, Ruby, is now dead because of this woman. May the Lord help her see the tragedy of dabbling in false religions, for they are of the devil. And may the court have wisdom in discerning what her frame of mind was when she killed her daughter.

Tags: Dawn Serrena Young, Ruby Young

The real center of Christmas

2005-12-13T16:03:00.000-05:00

My good friend and mentor Louise Bergmann DuMont gets to the heart of Christmas and cuts through the peripherals. Let's not forsake those fun and comforting things, but may we leave them secondary to why Jesus ultimately came.

Click the header for her post.

Sweet Christmas story

2005-12-13T15:31:00.000-05:00

OldGuy has a touching Christmas story (click the header above). Such are the gifts that really matter.

"Let's go outside," or "Let it slide"?

2005-12-13T12:14:00.000-05:00

I forgot my cell phone this morning. How do you respond when you forget things, when you make mistakes? I too often choose (I guess I should realize it is a choice) to beat myself down. "How stupid!" and "I'm such an idiot" come forth too easily. True, there are times when I'll be more decent to myself (and, I suppose, even times where I'll be too easy on myself).

My criticism also extends to others who have directly or indirectly wronged me. Too often (again) it's a reaction rather than a carefully thought out response. Which usually leads to an angry counter-reaction from those people, or they are totally oblivious to my anger. Either way, I must question whether my actions have led them to be more responsible, polite, etc. And I all the more must question whether I have glorified and pleased God (so many times I have been ashamed that I have a Christian fish symbol on my car after I have acted in a quite un-Christian manner).

I hate when I act so angrily toward myself and others. Rarely do I look back after the fact and say, "Boy, I'm glad I belittled myself," or "That idiot had it coming." Yes, I still want to get angry in a godly way, in a way that helps the person and the situation. I want to be led by the Holy Spirit, not my own flesh.

But why do I get so angry sometimes? Like I said above, it's so often a reaction--it explodes from me. I have snapped at my wife more than once; she was totally taken aback, since I'm usually so mild-mannered. I didn't sit there and carefully consider how my words would impact her or the situation, I just blurted them out. And then deeply regretted it.

So why do I snap? Why do I call myself and others hurtful names? Is it influenced by the fact that certain people did so to me during my childhood? Do I feel that by putting others down, I can make myself seem better (oh, and how often I have railed against those who climb on others backs to success!)? I wrote recently about how busyness keeps me from knowing myself better. This morning I was listening to an old sermon by Pastor Jack Hayford. The title was called, "Integrity of Heart." He said that it's not merely the sin that's the problem, it's when we don't listen to our heart speaking the truth as to how it's doing, and what it needs. I may try to make myself think that I'm helping the situation by yelling at a driver, but deep down I might just want to hurt that person's spirit. Of course, when I react rather than carefully respond, I don't allow myself time to consider my motives. Or, to dig even deeper, I might be ashamed of my own inadequacy in a certain area, so therefore I need to falsely elevate myself by "proving" to myself how bad the other person is.

Do you find that how you respond to your own mistakes parallels or differs from how you respond to the mistakes of others? What is at the core of your responses? Do you usually have a well thought out and helpful response? Or are you still struggling with reacting in hurtful anger? Or maybe you're still reacting improperly, but you've learned some things. In any event, I'd love to hear from you, and pray with you so that we all may grow toward Christlikeness.

Tags: anger management

Getting "back" to normal

2005-12-09T14:43:00.000-05:00

Here's a very good rendition of what I looked like this past Sunday night. As I hurried to get stuff out of the car, I stepped on a patch of ice and landed flat on my back. My stepson saw it all, and somehow managed to stifle a laugh (well, at least until the next day, when he repeatedly acted out my accident!). While it was quite painful (I still feel twinges at times), I'm so thankful my head didn't meet the pavement first.

It's ironic that I had been commenting about black ice on the roads not long before. Maybe I'll be reminded next time to be extra careful. After all, dangers are hidden all about, unless we are alert to them.

Just like I should have been more alert then, or this morning when I hit a patch of ice while driving to work and nearly skid into the center divider on the highway.

2 lives down, 7 to go?

By the way, if you get a chance, read some of the wisdom in the posts below. As you can see, I'm struggling in the wisdom area lately!

Christmas banners and children's comments

2005-12-09T14:14:00.000-05:00

Check out these wonderful banners, and the beautiful words about them by the kids at Zum Kripplein Christi Lutheran Elementary School. Sorry I didn't see them sooner (they're from December 1). By the way, did you know that Zum Kripplein Christi means "at the little manger of Christ"? May we appreciate the Child in the manger who came to us and grew up for the purpose of saving us from our sins, and giving us abundant life as a bonus.

Matt's Fight

2005-12-09T13:29:00.000-05:00

Matt's Fight
Matt had suffered a serious accident, and thank God he's now doing quite well. Send him your well wishes and make his Christmas even better