BEDLAM BEDLAM

Be Aware

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Fri, 03 May 2013 07:06:00 +0000

Bedlam

Motorists everywhere - Please Be Aware

To My Children

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Sun, 28 Apr 2013 11:55:00 +0000

Bedlam

Everything You Want

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Sat, 27 Apr 2013 12:17:00 +0000

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Are My Testicles Black?

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 17:10:00 +0000

Bedlam Humour

This has been sent in by John and Maureen Evans from Alcalali in Spain - which is close to where I live.

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again through his mask, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:

Are - my - test - results - back?"

Nice one John - is this from personal experience....Lol

The Italian Funeral

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 18:13:00 +0000

Bedlam Humour

A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.

The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said: "I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen an Italian funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"

"My wife's."

''What happened to her?"

"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

The Italian man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."

A very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood and silence passed between the two men.. Until ....

"Can I borrow the dog?"

The man replied, "Get in line."

Dog in Bed

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 12:07:00 +0000

Bedlam

Love this video

The Handsome Man

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 07:51:00 +0000

Bedlam Humour

This joke was sent in by Elsie Smith of Leek in Staffordshire

A handsome Lebanese was sitting in a posh restaurant in the States. He asked a waiter to take the most expensive bottle of Wine to an unusually attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cosy corner.

Waiter brought in the elitist wine bottle & took the bottle to the woman and said, 'Excuse me lady, this precious bottle is from that gentleman who is seated over there.' ..and indicated the sender with a nod of his head.

She stared at the bottle coolly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, then decided to send a reply to him by a note. The waiter, who was staying nearby for a response, took the note from her and conveyed it to the gentleman.

The note read: 'For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a BMW in your garage, a million dollars in the bank and 7 inches in your pants.'

After reading the note, the Lebanese decided to compose one of his own in return. He folded the note, handed it to the waiter and instructed him to deliver it to the lady.

It read: 'Just to let you know, things aren't always what they appear to be. I have a Ferrari Maranello, BMW Z8, Mercedes CL600, and a Porsche Turbo in my several garages; I have beautiful homes in Spain , Aspen & Miami , and a
10,000 acre ranch in Louisiana . There is over twenty million dollars in my bank account and portfolio. But, even for a woman as beautiful as you are, I am not going to cut off three inches. Just send the bottle back pls.'

Two Benidorm Tornados

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Sun, 03 Mar 2013 08:29:00 +0000

Bedlam

Jack Chambers has sent this video of two tornado just off the coast at Villajosa, just down the road from Benidorm resort in Alicante, Spain. I note there are no sun-worshippers out like they usually are...

A Living Will

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Tue, 19 Feb 2013 14:52:00 +0000

Bedlam Humour

A Living Will

Wanting

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Tue, 19 Feb 2013 12:54:00 +0000

Bedlam

Supermarket Scam

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Mon, 18 Feb 2013 11:16:00 +0000

Bedlam Humour

Here's another joke from Jack Chambers...

Over the last month I have become a victim of a clever 'Eastern European' scam while out shopping. Simply dropping into the supermarket for a bit of shopping turned out to be quite an experience.

Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two seriously good-looking voluptuous 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the boot. They both start cleaning your windscreen, their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts.

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they'll say 'No' and instead ask you for a lift to another supermarket.

You agree and they both get in the back seat. On the way, they start undressing, until both are completely naked. Then, when you pull over to remonstrate, one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over your lap, kissing you, touching you intimately, and thrusting herself against you, while the other one steals your wallet!

I had my wallet stolen September 4th, 9th,10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th and 29th. On October 1st, 4th, 6th, 10th and 13th and twice yesterday.

So please warn all the older men you know to be on the lookout for this scam.

PS. The best times seem to be just before lunch and about 4:30 in the afternoon.

Never Run for a Bus

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 07:28:00 +0000

Beldam Humour

Never run for a Bus

Confusing roadsign or what

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 07:06:00 +0000

Bedlam

Confusing roadsign or what???

Hahaha

Senior Moment

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Mon, 04 Feb 2013 12:08:00 +0000

Bedlam Humour

Hahaha! Love this - having a senior moment

Scaredy Cat

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Wed, 30 Jan 2013 07:17:00 +0000

Bedlam

I just love this

Scaredy Cat

Crystal Windows, Spain

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Mon, 28 Jan 2013 15:43:00 +0000

Bedlam

Crystal Windows
Mostly I have a rant and slap out brickbats about the standard of work by certain firms on the Costa Blanca. Today I'm handing out bouquets.

It's not often I pat a company on the back out here in Spain, but CRYSTAL WINDOWS, DOORS, & CONSERVATORIES S.L. located in Pedreguer, Costa Blanca, deserve high praise.

In early December we had aging wooden doors and windows replaced with double glazed units. There are a number of companies to choose from out here, and most seem of reasonable quality.

We chose Crystal Windows because

They speak my language,
Were much cheaper than the competition,
The units were more stylish than others we saw,
They were very well constructed.

The company actually construct the units at the site in Pedregeur and invite you to look around the high-tech workshops.

The installation was completed efficiently, cleanly, and on the date promised. The workmen were very polite. I simply could not have asked for more.

During the last few weeks we suffered high winds in the area and it highlighted a slight problem. The windows facing the winds had minor draughts from corners. Today I telephoned the company and asked if they could help me.

To my shock the lady in the office said a workman would be there within the hour if it was convenient.

The man arrived in less than an hour, politely apologized for any aggravation caused, then checked and corrected the problems. He went on to check the rest of the installation to make sure we hadn't missed any problems.

So bravo to Crystal Windows. Good luck to anyone who provides good service at a reasonable price.

Pissing You Off

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Thu, 17 Jan 2013 14:26:00 +0000

Bedlam

I Don't Fart

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Thu, 17 Jan 2013 12:41:00 +0000

Bedlam

I don't fart, I whisper in my panties...

Ancestors

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 08:26:00 +0000

Bedlam

Ancestors

I thought this statement about ancestors from Linda Hogan, profound.

I love it.

Who Says Women Can't Hack It?

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Thu, 10 Jan 2013 16:28:00 +0000

Bedlam

Who Says Women Can't Hack It?

Meerkats Are Wonderful, Meerkats Are Great...

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Tue, 08 Jan 2013 06:24:00 +0000

Bedlam

I just couldn't resist this picture of meerkats - they're so funny...

Cool Stretch

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Fri, 04 Jan 2013 07:49:00 +0000

Bedlam

If I have to be honest, stretch limousines don't do anything for me. In general think they're ugly and flashy.

In the land of glitz, this one is just plain cool

Cool Stretch limousine??

True Love

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Thu, 03 Jan 2013 07:51:00 +0000

Bedlam

I just couldn't resist posting this lovely shot from a Twitter friend @minimalhome

True Love

Wow!

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Tue, 01 Jan 2013 12:17:00 +0000

Bedlam

Wow, I just love this shot. Wish I knew where it was...
There are some places where you'd just love to visit - this is for me

Cats...

noreply@blogger.com (ajbarnett) — Mon, 31 Dec 2012 08:07:00 +0000

Bedlam Humour

Saw this on Rhonda Savin's Facebook. I just couldn't resist it. (Click to make it larger)

Cats!