One of the most irritating things about having lots of children is that I start to hear the same comments over and over. Many of them are incredibly stupid and inane. Mostly they’re just things that people say because they don’t want you to know what they’re really thinking.  Here is a handy translation guide in case you’re clueless enough to take people’s comments at face value.

“You sure have your hands full”.  Translation (if you have 1-2 children): “Your kid’s a total spaz. I’ve heard good things about Stratera.” (If you have more than two children) “Would you mind shutting your kids up? I’m trying to shop/checkout books/sit on the beach in peace and quiet. The world is all about me, me, me and not your noisy brats.”

Of all the phrases I hear, this one irks me the most. What am I supposed to say? Some parents chose the passive-aggressive “better full than empty”.  Nice parents opt for a sweet smile, hoping to preserve enough self-control not to rip the person’s head off.  I like a simple “no friggin’ duh. So why don’t you help me unload my grocery cart?”

“She’s a keeper”. This phrase is strictly limited to newborns. Translation: (if said by a woman): “What an ugly baby.” (If said by a man): “All babies look the same to me”.  If you really do have a cute baby your friends and relatives will use words like “gorgeous”, “adorable”, “perfect” or “cutest baby I’ve ever seen”.  The only thing worse than “she’s a keeper” is a simple “awww.” (translation: “ewww”).

“They grow up so fast”. Translation, “I know that every day seems like a hundred hours. But eventually you’ll wish they were little again. Not until you’ve developed Alzheimers, though. In the mean time, try not to kill them.”

“Are all those kids yours?” Translation: “That is a hell of a lot of kids, you crazy woman!”  The proper response is: “no, I just love taking kids to the grocery store/airport/science center so much that I brought all the neighbor kids too.”

Honorable mention: “You just had a baby!”  Said in response to a postpartum woman’s lamentations about being fat. Translation, “I can’t believe you’re not on Weight Watchers already! I was way thinner than you by this point.”  Even if the woman had a baby three years ago, this is always the given response.

Readers, if I ever hear you say any of these phrases you will be instantly denounced as my friend. Consider yourself warned.

So, it’s time to fess up about my New Year’s Resolutions. We won’t get into the sordid details of every single one, but the big one has been giving up sugar. Which I have done. Sugar and I have gone our separate ways. Yes, I still eat things like bread that have some sugar in them. But I try to at least stick to whole wheat.

As I’ve mentioned about a million times on this blog, I have a major sugar addiction. An honest-to-goodness addiction and I’m not even exaggerating. I have never traded sex for baked goods, but I’ve done just about every other unseemly thing that involves sugar. And I was starting to scare myself.

Unlike other people who can “fill a craving”, I am a bottomless pit when it comes to sweets. There is no “off” button; only one that says “more, please”.

So I decided on New Year’s Eve to go cold turkey. As a farewell I ate half of a lemon pound cake (I would have eaten the whole thing but I didn’t make it til 3:00.) I also drank an entire two-liter of Mountain Dew. Myself. And I wasn’t even wired.  So you see why I had to do this?  It’s gotten a bit out of control.

You guys, I have been praying my guts out. That is the only way I have been able to have the strength to do this. I started the year out with a fast. Which I think will be my new tradition because it is such a zen, contemplative way to start new goals. Every day, almost every hour, I have had to pray for strength and discipline.  And that’s what I’ve gotten.

So last week when I did my cinnamon roll tutorial? I didn’t have even a smidge.  When I made coffee cake for my family on Sunday? Not a bite.  Nor have I had cookie dough all the times when my kids have made it. I am so incredibly proud of myself.

So proud.

But I’m still praying hard. Because it is still difficult. Man, is it difficult. It’s easier to say no than it was at the beginning. But it’s hard having the thing that you love so much surrounding you at ever store, at every restaurant and church activity.

My goal was to make it sugar-free til today, which is York’s birthday. I decided that I can have a piece of birthday cake on my children’s birthdays and then it’s back on the wagon. So I had my one piece of cake. A cake which is one of my favorites.

Holy crap, I feel horrendous. The sugar made me feel like I’m going to either throw up or die. And the cake didn’t even taste that good!  What is happening? Who am I?

So, yes, sugar free again. I had my little fling and I’ll be good  until March 14th when I get my slice of cake (it’s the next birthday in our family).  And after the reaction of my body to the cake tonight, I’m kind of excited to get the sugar out of my system again. Bleh.

At some point in every woman’s life, there will be a yearning to make cinnamon rolls. (OK, probably every American woman. I can’t imagine some Chinese lady in a rice paddy standing up one day and thinking “I would like to make a sweet bread I’ve never heard of.” Or however you say that in Chinese.) Most women ignore this primal urge because–my gosh!– how intimidating! Some women give it a shot and if you have never made yeast bread it can turn into quite a debacle. Making cinnamon rolls isn’t difficult as much as it is complicated. But I’m here to hold your hand and tell you that you can do it. It might be a little scary, but you really ought to know how. To motivate you a little, let me tell you that the cinnamon rolls in this tutorial are the best I’ve ever had. And I’ve had a lot of cinnamon rolls. If you think Cinnabon is good, wait until you try these!

This is my friend Bonnie. She has never made bread before. She made her first attempt at cinnamon rolls last week and it was not a success. So I invited her over to show her the ropes. (She is also the Relief Society President of my ward. If you think your failure in the kitchen is going to keep you out of that calling, wrong-o!). I’m all about teaching a man to fish, so Bonnie did a lot of the work in this tutorial. It was nice having an extra set of hands to help snap pictures (usually I must rely on 12-year-olds with notsogreat photography skills). If Bonnie, a total breadmaking amateur, can do it, so can you!

Let’s talk about yeast before we begin. Yeast is actual living creatures, like tiny and uninteresting sea monkeys. They’re dried and most often put in packets. Look at the date on the packets because once the expiration date has passed, it has passed. They’re dead. To make sure your yeast is alive and kicking, you need to proof it. Which means putting it in some lovely warm water where it promptly divides and grows and starts to get all bubbly. If this doesn’t happen after about ten minutes, your yeast is dead. Throw it out. Or you can skip all this rigmarole and get instant yeast instead. Instant yeast is preserved differently. Much more yeast is kept alive so there is no need to proof it to make sure. You just mix it in with your dry ingredients and it will magically work. Instant yeast (as opposed to regular yeast which is called “Active Yeast”) is a bit harder to find in stores. (If you live in central Texas you can get it at HEB.) It comes in a big one pound bag which looks like a block. I open the block and then keep it in an airtight container in the freezer where it will last much longer. Rapid-Rise yeast is very similar to instant. So if you can’t find instant yeast, get rapid rise. It will pretty much behave the same; i.e. no proofing needed.

Step one in our recipe will be combining the wet ingredients. You’ll want everything to be very warm since yeast loves to be nice and cozy. First you’ll need a room temperature egg. Since I never, ever think far enough to advance to let an egg sit on my counter long enough to warm up, let’s get it warm the cheaters way:  put it in a bowl with hot water for ten minutes.  Then break it into the bowl of your mixer and whisk it gently.

Combine the milk and water in a big measuring cup and heat it in the microwave for about 60 seconds.  This goes in the mixer bowl too. As does the butter which should have been melted in the microwave as well. You can also put in the vanilla at this point. (Notice how we’re using the paddle attachment. Don’t use the whisk!)

Now throw in all the dry ingredients:  flour, salt, sugar, flour, gluten and yeast.

A note about these ingredients: if you have it, use bread flour. It will make a sturdier bread that will rise higher. If you have regular flour that will work just fine too but the texture won’t be as lovely.  It’s not a deal-breaker, though. Also nice but not necessary is vital wheat gluten. You can get this at the store near the flour. It will add height and structure to your bread. I highly recommend it but if you don’t want to get it, your rolls will still turn out okay.

When I turn on a mixer full of flour, I generally drape a dish towel over the top for the first minute so the ingredients don’t fly all over the place.

Once your bread dough has gotten thoroughly mixed, you’re going to remove the paddle attachment and replace it with the dough hook (if you have one).  Once you put on the dough hook, this counts as kneading, not mixing.  You’re going to knead the dough for about five minutes. This helps the gluten to develop nice long strands that give bread its texture and height. You may want to try kneading by hand if you’re feeling ambitious. I’m super lazy so I rarely do this.  There is always the eternal question of how much kneading (whether by machine or by hand) is enough.  I’ll tell you how to find out.  You can apply this to any sort of bread-making: white bread, whole wheat, whatever. All yeast bread needs to develop gluten. After you’ve kneaded this bread for five minutes, rip off a chunk of dough that’s a little bigger than a ping pong ball. You’re going to pull it apart slowly and gently with both hands. If the gluten hasn’t developed well enough, the dough will simply rip apart in the middle. You’ll need to knead more.

Knead it for another minute or two and try again.  If your gluten has developed enough, the dough will become translucent and thin before it starts to rip (holding it up to the light will make it easier to see.) This is perfect:

Once your gluten has developed enough, you can stop kneading and start rising. Take a nice clean bowl and give it a light spray with Pam. Place your dough at the bottom and cover the bowl with either a clean tea towel or plastic wrap. Place it in a warm spot until it has doubled in size.  I like to preheat my oven for about a minute then turn off the heat. It gets to about 110°, a temperature that yeast loves.  At this temp, it takes about 45 minutes for it to double. If you have a chilly kitchen it will take up to an hour and a half. In my case with Bonnie it was just long enough to go get some tacos at Torchy’s. Yum!

While your dough is rising you’re going to soften a stick of margarine. Ew, margarine? Who uses that? I use butter pretty much exclusively except for making cinnamon roll filling. Let me tell you, margarine makes it much stickier and gooier. You want sticky, gooey filling, right? If you use butter it’s more likely to melt and dribble into the bottom of the pan.  I swear these will taste fantastic! Trust me! There’s all sorts of weird butter-esque stuff at the store these days. Look for the box that says “margarine”.  In a separate bowl you’ll mix brown sugar and cinnamon.

Once your dough has risen, you’ll grab it and throw it gruffly down on the counter, kneading it a couple of times. The dough is so soft and squishy at this point; not at all sticky. Honestly it reminds me of my stomach after I have a baby. What a pleasant thought, no?

You’ll now need a nice big expanse of countertop to roll out your dough. I have a great big Silpat that is just the right size. Take a rolling pin and keep rolling the dough until it’s 24″ x 15″. Make it as rectangular as possible. This takes a lot of elbow grease but it’s worth it.

It’s time to spread your margarine. You’ll spread it clear up to three edges. Leave the edge closest to you margarine-free so it can be sealed.

Sprinkle the brown sugar/cinnamon mixture evenly over the margarine, leaving the free edge bare. To make sure it stays put while baking, we’re going to press the sugar into the margarine with a rolling pin. This is my favorite rolling pin in the whole world. I got it in France about a million years ago. You can get a similar one for around $18 here on Amazon.

Let’s roll this sucker up! Rolling it tightly is going to give you lots of spirals and makes the difference between an impressive cinnamon roll and a lame, amateurish one.  It also improves the bread-to-gooey-cinnamon ratio. Start opposite the clean edge.

Once it’s all rolled up, you’ll want to pinch the edge closed.

After it’s pinched, gently roll it over so the smooth side is facing up and let’s get ready to cut. To cut the rolls we’ll use a perennial favorite: dental floss. I was lucky enough to have cinnamon in my drawer, but any flavor is fine. You won’t be able to taste it. Using a knife will squish the rolls and make them look misshapen and ugly.

First cut off any unevenness on the ends. They don’t need to be perfectly straight, but just get rid of most of the weirdness. To cut the dough, scootch the dental floss under the roll and criss cross the strands at the top. Then pull tightly and voilà! A nice, clean decapitation!

This batch of cinnamon rolls will yield 15. So we need to divide your giant log into 15 even sections. I like to use a table knife to play around with spacing. I gently press lines where I will later used the dental floss to cut. You know the old carpenter’s rule: measure twice, cut once? Well, it applies here too. Nothing’s worse than to be almost done slicing off rolls and realizing you’ve been cutting them all wrong and will now be four short.

In this picture you can see my dental floss and the yucky ends I cut off from both sides.

After I’ve cut off my ends I mark off three evenly-spaced sections about 8″ long. Then I divide each section into five smaller sections. If you’ve done it right, each cinnamon roll will be about 1 1/2″ thick. You can use a ruler or just eyeball it. (Also just so you know, locals pronounce Pedernales “pur-duh-NAL-iss”. No, it does not make any sense phonetically.)

If this isn’t quite how it worked out for you, mathematically-speaking, then do the best you can. Just remember that you’ll want to end up with 15 cinnamon rolls.

Ideally the best way to bake these is in three 8×8 pans. These rolls are thicker than most standard cinnamon rolls. If these rolls are all crammed together in one big pan some will still be raw, and some will be cooked too much. If you’ve ever been to Cinnabon when they’ve gotten pans fresh from the oven you’ll notice that there are only six rolls per pan. It’s because thicker, taller rolls don’t cook as well when they’re all baked together. If you’ve cut your rolls thinner (3/4″-1″ is the traditional width), placing them in a big, shallow pan is fine. But I don’t care for them when they’re this thin. I like a more substantial, hefty cinnamon roll.

The pans should be lined with parchment unless you’re in love with scrubbing hard, baked-on cinnamon sugar.

The pans I use are pretty cheap.  They don’t need to be fancy or great-quality. You can get them anywhere. I use 8x8s all the time so I think they’re a good investment. Otherwise, you can come up with any sort of configurations among the different pans you have. Just make sure you’ve got 1-2″ between each roll.

Now it’s time to let the rolls rise again. You’ll let them rise until they’re just barely touching. It won’t take as long as it did the first time. I’d check the rolls after 25 minutes to see how they’re progressing. While they rise you should make the frosting. (I’m not going to give you a photo tutorial because 1. it’s pretty basic and hard to screw up, and 2. pictures of white frosting in a bowl are beyond boring.)

Once the rolls are touching, preheat the oven to 330º and bake until they’re golden brown (about 16-18 minutes. Longer if you have more in a big pan.)

Gorgeous!

Ocassionally one or two rolls will develop a Tower of Babel spiral coming out of the center. If this happens, gently press the top of the spiral down with a fork until the roll is perfectly flat across the top.  While the rolls are still warm, slather with frosting. You might want to hide one from the hordes of locusts family at this point. You deserve at least a couple of these.

These rolls take about four hours from start to finish. Most of the time will be waiting around while the dough rises and you won’t have to do anything. But it means you’ll be getting up pretty early to make these for breakfast. A lot of times I’ll make most of the recipe the night before. You can do everything up to letting the rolls rise in their pans. Before they’ve done their second rise, cover the pans with  plastic wrap or a towel and put them in the fridge overnight. The next morning they’ll do their final rise and be baked. Just be warned that since they’ve been very cold all night, it will take them much longer to rise. Preheat your oven for one minute (don’t forget to turn it off!) and let them rise there. It may take up to 70 minutes for them to rise. Give yourself an hour and a half from the time you take them out of the fridge til the time breakfast will be served, just to be on the safe side.

Jennie’s Marvelous Cinnamon Rolls

DOUGH:

1 egg at room temp, slightly beaten

1 cup whole milk

1/4 cup water

1/2 cup butter, melted

1 tsp. vanilla

4 1/2 cups bread flour

1/2 cup sugar

1 Tbs. vital wheat gluten

1/2 tsp. salt

1/4 oz. yeast

FILLING:

1/2 cup margarine or butter, softened

1 cup brown sugar, firmly packed

5 Tbs. cinnamon

ICING:

4 oz cream cheese, slightly softened

1/2 cup butter, slightly softenend

1 3/4 cups powdered sugar

1 tsp. vanilla

3-4 drops lemon flavor

In a mixing bowl, beat one egg with a whisk. Pour milk and water into a large measuring cup and heat in microwave until very warm (about 60 seconds). Add to mixing bowl. Add melted butter and vanilla.

Add dry ingredients to mixing bowl in order listed (these can also be made in a bread machine on the “dough” setting).  Mix ingredients til well-combined. Remove paddle attachment and use dough hook. Knead with dough hook for five minutes.

Allow dough  to rise in a warm place until doubled (45-60 minutes). Remove dough from bowl and roll into rectangle 24″ x 15″.  Spread rectangle with softened margarine, avoiding one long edge. Combine brown sugar and cinnamon in a small bowl and sprinkle over margarine, avoiding clean edge.  Use a rolling pin to lightly press sugar into margarine.

Starting at long edge opposite clean edge, roll up dough tightly. Pinch edge to seal.

Using dental floss, trim edges flat. Gently mark off 15 rolls about 1 1/2″ wide. Cut with dental floss.

Line three 8×8 pans with parchment paper. Place five rolls in each pan and let rise til gently touching (25-40 minutes).

Preheat oven to 330° and bake until golden brown (16-18 minutes). Don’t bake more than two pans at once.

FROSTING:

Place cream cheese and butter in mixing bowl. Using whisk attachment, beat for four minutes on low speed. Then beat for four minutes on med-high speed.

Add one cup of sugar and mix on low for one minute. Add remaining sugar and mix an additional minute.  Add vanilla and lemon and mix on high for one minute on med-high.

Frost rolls while still warm.

This is what I’ve been thinking about lately:

People never use the word “marvelous” anymore. I think it’s a shame. What a great word! As a matter of fact it’s marvelous. So expect to hear it a lot more on this blog.

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My New Year’s resolutions have gone outstandingly well except one: to not sleep on top of my arms. I got in the habit of this while I was pregnant. I’m a stomach sleeper and when my belly got big I’d sleep on my arms to sort of cradle it and buy myself a few more weeks of sleeping in that position.  But now it’s just a bad habit and I can’t stop! Even though my arms go numb every single night and I’m sure I’m causing some sort of damage to them.  It turns out that keeping resolutions while you’re fast asleep is a smidge difficult.

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I’ve been watching and rewatching Downton Abbey so much that I’m a little peeved that nobody dresses me in the morning. My husband hates Mary and thinks she’s the devil but Mary reminds me a lot of myself, so I don’t know what to think of my husband hating her. He must just think I’m a super sweet, cheerful person. (Not sure how that’s possible but that’s the only explanation, right?)  If you’re not watching Downton, you are the only person in America who isn’t. Just so you know. And for heaven’s sake, don’t watch it on Netflix; the picture quality is really terrible. Get the BluRay. So much better.

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I’m starting to get back into cake decorating. I was doing it a lot several years ago but wedding cakes were really freaking me out so I sort of quit. Then I had a bunch of babies and while you might think a woman with six children would be the perfect person to make lots of cakes since she has an excuse, it turns out she is much too tired for that sort of thing. But I’m starting to get back on the bandwagon. I did a really fun cake this summer for one of India’s friends and I’d forgotten how much I like it (and hate it. It’s stressful.)  I’m doing a few master classes with some pretty well-known people in the cake biz in February. Hopefully this will get me psyched to be up to my elbows in buttercream again.

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It’s Girl Scout cookie season again here. For some super bizarre reason the cookies in Texas have different names than they did in Oregon and Michigan. Tagalongs are called Peanut Butter Patties. Who wants to eat a cookie that’s called a “patty”? Gross.  Samoas are called Caramel deLites. While I think “caramel” is a good move, “deLite” makes it sound like diet food. I wish, little Girl Scouts, I wish.

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Is there anything better than clean sheets tucked in extra tight? And to you naysayers who think tight sheets will give you ingrown toenails, you are dead wrong (and crazy). I’ve never had an ingrown toenail in my life.

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The other day at a church activity a girl was asked what one food she would take with her to a desert island.  I’ve thought a lot about my answer because I like to think about that sort of earth-shattering stuff. If I could get away with it I would say chips, salsa and guacamole from Chuy’s.  That’s more than one food but if you consider something like, say, spaghetti and meatballs which has lots of components, then chips, salsa and guac should totally be allowable.  If only one food were allowed I would say a deep dish pizza with sausage, black olives and mushrooms.  In either case I would require a supply of thoroughly chilled Mtn. Dew to go with.

While I do like to get dressed up and go out, my favorite is to sit around and do my little hobbies. While partying in Las Vegas can be fun (maybe like once a decade), I enjoy peace and quiet. Most of my friends are of the same mind. So when my friend Cheryl said that she’d planned a girls-only trip to a beach house over MLK weekend for four of us, we knew we wouldn’t need much more than books, knitting and food.

And indeed it proved to be laid-back and wonderful. The weather was sunny and pleasant because it’s Texas. But not warm, because it isn’t Hawaii for pete’s sake.

The rental house was teeny and slightly, ahem, rustic in a ramshackle-at-the-beach sort of way. So if you didn’t get invited, blame the fact that the house was so small it only had one bathroom and not even a kitchen table.

We stayed in our pajamas all weekend. We watched movies. We looked for shells on the beach (it hadn’t been plundered by a thousand children like it is in the summer and there were shells a-plenty). I knit (unravelled and reknit the beginning of a scarfy/shawly thing about five times), and read the first half of three different books.  We took turns making meals and didn’t venture out in public the entire time.

As you can imagine I was relaxed and revived after several days of lazy bliss. So the fact that kitchen was an absolute disaster when I got home only made me slightly furious; not incredibly furious as it usually does.

I really love birds. Even seagulls. Turns out they’re sort of cannibalistic and didn’t mind eating some left over chicken.  Ah, look at the joy on my face. Does anyone not like feeding birds? (Yes. Cheryl. Who cowered in the house whenever there were more than ten birds visible at any one time.)

What’s up with the seagull’s leg?

We also didn’t bring makeup.

Sometimes I see families at church that are very cuddly with each other. They’re all sitting on the pew with their arms around each other. This is not us. This is not how we are. I view them like I do people who have clean laundry rooms: with admiration, bafflement and a smidge of suspicion.

Even as very little children, none of mine loved to kiss or hug their siblings.  I am pretty affectionate with my very young children but not so snuggly once they hit about age 5. Mister, God love him, is always kissing or hugging somebody around our house. He’s very touchy.

OK, now that I think about it Arabella really, really likes to touch people. Especially me. Which drives me batty. I’m pretty sure that girl would be surgically attached to me if she could. Or climb back into my womb. I’m thanking my lucky stars that’s not possible. But I make myself cuddle her because I’m a good mom and I know that’s her Love Language blah, blah, blah. But she is surrounded on all sides by siblings who would rather not be touched.  Not in an autistic way, just in a “stop annoying me” way.

Also, none of my children have ever liked baby dolls. Is this a symptom of the same thing? That my kids have no desire to comfort and  help those who need it? Oh my gosh, what if I’m raising a houseful of psychopaths???

My boys don’t even wrestle with each other! Isn’t that something they’re supposed to do? Doesn’t wrestling mean something? Or that just considered fighting and it’s bad?

My children will, however, all shoot each other with various nerf, airsoft and dart guns.

Which is almost the same as putting your arm around your sister in church.

Phew, I was worried for a minute there.

I have straight hair that rarely gives me any trouble. I always wished it were curly, but it isn’t and I’m learning to accept that. It used to be rather thick but is also baby fine. Now it seems that my hair isn’t quite so think any more (Am I actually going bald? I cannot, cannot contemplate that possibility.) So I have been a big fan of body-boosting shampoo and conditioner. And my philosophy when it comes to beauty and health products is to try the cheap brands first. All shampoo and conditioner is just a bunch of chemicals anyway. I have never believed my hairdressers when they’ve told my anything different because I was sure they just wanted me to buy expensive hair-care products from them.

The main problem with fine hair is that it doesn’t always look good long. After a certain point my ends start to fall apart and I have to get all the new growth cut off every time I get a trim. It’s very frustrating.

I began to wonder if my cheapo hair products might be making the problem worse. And let’s not forget that the idea behind body-building hair products is to not add moisture and heaviness. So maybe the many inexpensive products I’ve used over the years have been stripping away my hair’s mosture and making it even weaker. Maybe they’ve been too harsh on my delicate, wimpy baby hair.

I stopped by Ulta*, one of my favorite stores, to peruse the hair products and was utterly overwhemled. Too, too much to chose from. My brain felt like exploding. I ended up buying one small bottle of hairspray.

I happened to be at Target a few days later (I always happen to be at Target) and noticed they have quite a nice selection of fancy hair products.  I read the backs of every single shampoo and conditioner bottle and settled for Rusk Calm shampoo and conditioner (“nourishes troubled, stressed hair”). They were on sale so I ended up paying $15 each for very big bottles.  They should last me 4-6 months and when you think about it isn’t an extra $20 worth it to have healthy hair?

The first time I used it all I could think was “WOW!”. Never has my hair been so silky and soft. It definitely wasn’t as fluffy as it usually was with my cheapo products but the fluffiness never last more than a few hours anyway. The smell of the shampoo is very delicate and pleasant. Quite a nice change from the grocery-store brands: the cheaper they are the more scent they have.  After my kids use Suave it’s like my whole bathroom smells like a giant green apple; a giant green apple make of chemicals. I can barely breathe!

This is the most amazing thing about my Rusk Shampoo and conditioner: my hair has actually become healthier. When I went in for a trim after using these products for a few weeks my hairstylist could notice a huge difference. She barely had to cut any split ends. My hair is the longest it’s been in quite a while and it looks healthy!

Moral of the story: while you don’t have to try Rusk in particular (although I do really like it, everybody has different needs when it comes to shampoo/conditioner), don’t dismiss the fancier brands. I’m sure they’re not all fantastic but I’ve begun to realize that the price isn’t really as big a deal as it seems. It only breaks down to a couple of cents more per day. In my case I’m having to get my hair cut less often since it’s staying healthier longer. That saves me money too.

What shampoo do you use? Do you like it? Are you a grocery store brand person or do you spend the big bucks?

*If you have an Ulta near you and have never been there, repent! It is the most wonderful store. They have everything beauty-related: makeup, hair care, lotions, perfume.  Unlike Sephora which has only upscale brands and nothing ever goes on sale, Ulta has fancy brands as well as drugstore brands. And they have a much bigger selection than most other stores. Plus they have coupons all the time (only for the cheap brands, sadly) so you can save money. I love this place!

I was not paid or compensated in any way for this review. Although I wish Ulta would!

New Year’s Resolutions? Normally I say “no thanks!”. But this year I’ve got a secret weapon. Read about it over at Segullah.

The Kindergarten birthday party circuit has begun. And now that I’m on my sixth kindergartener I have made a decision: if I can’t drop my kid off and leave the party then we won’t be coming. Sorry. Your child’s birthday is not important to me. Isn’t it enough that we bought a present? Asking me to sit in a smelly bouncy house place for two hours is too much. TOO MUCH! I would do it for a best friend. But some random school acquaintance? Forget it! Life is too short to sit and make pitiful small talk. I’m not about to waste my precious Saturday on you.

Of course you say that it’s fine to leave. But I can tell from the feast of kid-unfriendly sandwiches and the relish tray that you mean to feed me so I won’t go. And then there are all the other parents who are standing around. I know they’ll raise an eyebrow if I take off. Maybe they’ll just be jealous. Just know this: as I sit in the corner glaring at you when I look up from my knitting, I don’t like you one bit.

I am pretty thrilled to see 2011 go. It was sort of a dismal year for me and my fam. I’m trying to think of anything really great happened . . .

. . . still thinking . . .

. . . thinking . . .

Nah. Nothing.

I am completely excited for 2012. Everything will be wonderful and super and full of perfection. I am so looking forward to flipping that calendar page over and seeing January. Only that’s really just a metaphor because I have yet to buy a new calendar.

I have a hard time committing to one style of calendar for a whole year. A calendar says a lot about you. Do I want whimsical? Pretty? Funny? Or do I just want something plain with extra big squares? See, this is way too much to think about after having to endure Christmas.

This was my house a week ago.

Fortunately it doesn’t still look like that. It’s kind of how I feel on the inside, though. I have a lot of work to do this year, physically, spiritually and emotionally.

This is quite possibly the most pathetic and depressing New Year’s Post by any blogger out there.

Yeah, so. Happy New Year. Hope it’s better than last.