Ahh summer.  A time when my mind turns to thoughts of dusty quarries, dead animals that have stopped stinking millions of years ago, and that perfect brew to tip back after a day of intense sun, dried-out PB and J sandwiches, and plaster encrusted fingernails.

Only after briefly researching this brew did I find out that Blue Moon was a subsidiary of Coors.  I’ve only recently been a Blue Moon convert; their variety is rather nice in the beer deprived singularity that is western South Dakota.  However, the old adage of Coors being like “relations in a canoe” is not too far off the mark, but I thought I’d dive in liver first and see what transpired.

The Blue Moon website describes it as a “wheat ale crafted with clover honey for a hint of sweetness balanced out with a touch of orange peel for subtle citrus notes.”

Color: Light straw color more reminiscent of wheat rather than the honey in the description.  Light effervescence.  Very thin head.

Aroma: I cannot really distinguish a whole lot from this.  Its pretty devoid of any distinct nose.

Taste: Very light mouthfeel.  Slightly bitter biscuit or Saltine cracker start that is pretty powerful.  The “subtle citrus notes” do come through after the biscuit essence has faded.  No real finish to speak of.

While this isn’t bad, it suffers from the same problem as most summer beers, a real lack of character.  While summer beers should be light and refreshing, I guess I’d opt for something much more minimalistic.  This brew seems to want to be a summer ale, but is trying to sneak in some substance in a way that is a bit too subtle.  Even the citrus, which isn’t bad in a summer ale, just doesn’t seem to cut it.

That being said, I’ll probably finish this one and start another.

As an albino, I’ll probably never get to spend that much time in the tropical regions of the world.  To me, Nashville is a bit too close to equator for my melanin challenged epidermis (as well as being too far South).  So when my friend Wayne brought me a Kalik from his trip to the Bahamas, I thought to myself, “This may be the only taste of the Caribbean I’ll get without a side dish of basal cell carcinoma.”

Apparently, this brew is produced by Heineken, at the Commonwealth Brewery in Nassau.  The folks at Heineken studied the Bahamian taste in beer and developed their own variety to ease the thirst of the masses.  It’s pretty light, but I would expect this, as I also found in Taiwan, you do not want a heavy beer in the Torrid Zone.

Color: Very pale yellow or straw, almost clear at the periphery.  Highly effervescent with constant bubbles reminiscent of the regulator on a scuba kit in the tropical Caribbean Sea (which I’ll never see *sob*).

Aroma: Until this point, I was not aware that the skunk was native or even introduced to the Bahamas.  Clearly someone got their hands on one and stuffed part of it in this bottle.

Taste: Extremely light in taste but with a bit heavier mouthfeel.  It has a sweet character all its own.  Generally a light beer of this style would have a “Bud Light” taste to it that I don’t care for, but this one is okay in its minimalism.  Where most beers of this style would be watery with a bitter finish, this one just stays light and refreshing the whole way through.

While this individual of the albinic persuasion may never safely experience the peace and beauty of the Caribbean islands, as far as I’m concerned, with this brew, “everything criss.”

If you feel a certain sense of comedic dread at the thought of an albino reviewing an “extra pale ale”, you’re not alone.  But despite my jocular trepidation, I went home, closed the blinds, applied my SPF 376 sunblock, donned my wide-brimmed hat, and dove in.

St. Lupulin is Odell’s newest addition to the summer ale family.  Named after a supposed mythical figure who relentlessly “tended the hops” (beer geeks, I’m giving you that euphemism, gratis, so I expect it to be used), I found this a nice example of a summer brew, something I’m normally not that thrilled with.

Color: Deep clear gold to yellow, thin, white head, little effervescence.

Aroma: Hoppy, hoppy, joy, joy, Hoppy, Hoppy, Joy, Joy, HOPPY, HOPPY, JOY, JOY, JOY!!  Oh, did I mention the hops?

Taste: Very light and refreshing, but not overkill.  Light mouthfeel, comes on subtle with just a hint of malt.  I got a bit of a charred barrel flavor just before the finishing hops took the stage with a memorable ending.

Overall: I’m usually not a fan of the summer brews; too light and flavorless for my taste.  This one, however, stood out, particularly how it brought the hops to the forefront without overdoing it and maintaining a heavier feel than your Bud Light clones.  I’ll definitely add this to my summer beer rotation, as should you.

In keeping with the extra pale theme, I’ll leave you with a question to ponder.  Why does everyone hate us?

Dale's Pale Ale

Beer: Dale’s Pale Ale – Oskar Blue’s Brewery

6.5% ABV

65 IBUs

Ahhh…. can beer. How I (haven’t) missed thee. You and I shared some special times. Our love affair began when I saw that I could buy 30 of you for only $13.99. It was love at first sale. I drank you regular, lite, and Ice. You were the best friend one could have when it came to drinking games and beer bongs. Sadly our relationship ended when I moved out West and discovered that there was such a thing as beer that you could enjoy drinking, rather than just get hammered off of (though the two aren’t mutually exclusive). And that type of beer never came in a can.

Well, it seems as if that stereotype has been smashed. A few breweries are braving new territory and betting on craft beer in a can. Oskar Blue’s is one such brewery. I’ve seen Dale’s Pale Ale around a few times here and there, but now my local store is starting to carry more of their line up, as well as some other canned craft beers. So I thought I’d be brave and see how the canned stuff stacked up.

Well as you can see from the picture, it certainly looks like an American Pale Ale. It’s a dirty-straw color that has very good clarity. It pours a decent head, which is something I actually look for in an APA. I like the creamy, hoppy, malty head you usually get with one of these beers. It didn’t stick around for too long, but that’s okay. I smelled a bit of citrusy hops, though a bit of resin might have been present as well. I also was able to whif a bit of the pale malts used, but overwhelmingly it was hops. Usually I like to smell a bit of hops, but with APAs, I’ve come to expect a certain…. refreshing aroma muddled in with the malt. None of that here really.

The beer has an overall light mouthfeel, fairly typical of this style. I’d like to say I enjoyed the malt (which I did) but it was too damn hard to find underneath all those hops. I’m sorry, but I think this beer is too hoppy. While I usually don’t nitpick over style guidelines, American Pale Ales top out at 40 IBU’s. I really don’t understand why they wanted to make an American Pale using this much hops, rather than just make a proper IPA. When I look for an APA I want something refreshing, but with a bit more malt and hops that you’d find in a Hefe or Blonde or some other lighter beer. This beer wasn’t refreshing, and had too much hop cloying to enjoy. I’m sure the hop heads out there are crying foul and that’s fine. I’m just not a huge fan of hop-bombed beers, especially for a style that isn’t characterized by the hop presence.

On the other hand, I’m sure lots and lots of people enjoy this. It did win gold at the World Beer Championships. And I’m not at all against people getting creative vs. sticking to style guidelines. I just didn’t really enjoy this beer. However, I’ve heard great things about this brewery, so I’m going to give their Old Chubb a try next and see how it goes. If you enjoy hops and hoppy beers, do what you can to buy this, because you’ll surely enjoy it.

Cheers

Brewery:

Ninkasi Brewing Company

Name/style:

Radiant Ale – Seasonal Summer Ale

IBUs: 40

ABV: 6%

Ninkasi is a Northwest Brewery based in Eugene, OR. I’ve only recently stumbled upon their beers, but I’ve been pleasantly surprised. Radiant Ale is their seasonal Summertime offering. Most summer-themed ales out there are in the pilsner-esque category. Lighter beers, sometimes heavily hopped, sometimes not. The goal is usually refreshing over total substance, and in the middle of summer who doesn’t want that?

However, Ninkasi got their namesake from the Sumerian Goddess of fermentation. Fearing her wrath, they decided that going big was the only way to go with their Radiant Ale. It is a wonderfully bright copper-blonde colored ale that pours a decent white head. The beer has a definite complex malt presence. Not complex as in too much flavor, but complex refreshing. It has a medium mouthfeel, but ends up washing away rather quickly. A tiny bit of citrus makes it’s way to the nose, as does a faint bit of alcohol. The hops are well balanced for this beer. They cut through the maltiness to deliver a refreshing citrusy aroma and moderately assertive bitterness. However, if you pair it with food, the maltiness fades to the background fast and you’re left with a mouthful of hops.

Given the higher body of this beer, this makes for more of a summer evening ale, rather than a middle-of-the-day thirst quencher. Definitely worth the 3.99 I paid for the 22oz’er. If you can get your hands on it, do it before summer is over or you’ll end up with a Sumerian deity trying to destroy your city.

Obligatory Ghostbuster reference:

Cheers.

LENINADE!

I saw this at my local grocery store in a new craft soda section and this stuck out like a capitalist waiting in line for rations! The Councilman’s Board of Flavor Declarations declares that this is one of the best carbonated lemonades ever created by the proletariat! It’s the perfect level of carbonation, lemon, real cane sugar, and a touch of grapefruit. Perfect after a 12 hour day working on the railroad that will eventually take you to your new hovel in Siberia! Also the bottle comes with plenty of party slogans and inspiration such as:

Get really hammered and sickled! 

A taste worth standing in line for! 

Drink Comrade! Drink! It’s this or the Gulag! 

Beware the repressed communist party animal who is really a proletarian in denial masquerading as a bourgeois cold war monger! 

A party in every bottle! 

Obligatory World’s greatest capitalist tearing down the wall video: 

Cheers.

Ahh, the obligatory longship...

Whenever life gets you down, just remember, it could always be worse.  Take, for instance, the example of poor Sæhrímnir.  Sæhrímnir is a beast in Norse lore, some say a large boar, others say a giant sea beast.  Anyway, Sæhrímnir’s sole job is to hang out in Valhalla (where all good, dead Vikings go) until suppertime.  Then, he is slaughtered and prepared for the evening feast, only to rise again the next morning to do it all over again.  Sæhrímnir will do this until Ragnarok, or the end of time as we know it.  So, here is this giant pig whose only purpose in existence is to die and be eaten on a daily basis until the end of the universe.  Quit yer goddamn whining!

This, however, is where Andhrimnir comes in.  Andhrimnir’s job is not only to slaughter and prepare Sæhrímnir, but also to make the glorious mead and brew consumed by all these undead berserkers squatting for eternity in Odin’s living room.  In honor of this timeless brewmaster, Nøgne Ø has introduced a barley wine.  Does it live up to the high standards of the einharjar (you know, those dead Vikings)?

Color: Buff colored, lively head (the best kind), dark amber brown bordering on burgundy, very clear, excellent

Aroma: Spring allergies have seriously dampened my aromatic tools, but I am getting a heavy waft of malt with some pretty serious alcohol tang.  Add a dash of toffee along for the ride.

Taste: Heavy mouthfeel, light effervescence.  Blast of caramel at the onset with a pretty overpowering dose of the ethyl alcohol bringing up the rear.

Overall: I expect more from my barley wines, simply because they are one of my favorite varieties of “beer” (tipping my horned helmet to you true connoisseurs).  All I really got from this one was a heavy blast of the ethanol, which was covering up what may be a very good taste experience.

I’m only going to drink one of these this evening due to the high alcohol content.  If I imbibe anymore, I may wake up tomorrow knowing exactly what Sæhrímnir endures with each rising of the sun.

Until then, think about all those unemployed Vikings just trying to get by…

Aroma: No hops. You godda problem with that??? I did smell a little bit of Juniper and licorish though. There was definitely a decent caramel malt presence there.

Color: Dark red/orange-copper. Sorry, I’m a guy and I didn’t get the creative color naming gene. It did have good clarity for how dark it is.

Flavor: No real bitterness. But there is a complexity of other flavors. Stone fruit, coriander, star anise, and licorish all add to a really floral/spicy flavor profile. This beer is 7.2%, and there is noticeable roaste/caramel malt presence. Remember that scene in the Godfather 2 when DeNiro was on the rooftops, and then he went and shot that guy, thereby becoming the Godfather? Kind of like that. But in your mouth. And instead of Italian stereotypes it was more like a rich, complex beer.

Obligatory video of Italian stereotype:

Cheers

Appearance: Darker than John’s underwear after one of his all day chili-and-zazen sessions. Not much head, but it’s a dopplebock, so no worries. I came here for the roasted malt, not the foam.

Aroma: The website says there are plenty of hops, but I didn’t notice any. I just smelled dark malts and a bit of black liquorice.

Flavor: Licorice, roasted malts, and just a hint of coffee. No chocolate notes in this one, which you can sometimes get in a dark beer like this. It had a medium-light mouthfeel, no cloying, just a bit of a syrupy aftertaste/feel. This beer came in at 8.4% ABV, but there isn’t too much alcohol present. You can tell this has been lagered well, as it has a very clean overall taste that isn’t very complex. Again, I really couldn’t tell there were too many hops in there. There was a little bitterness, but it was appropriate and not overwhelming.

I liked this beer, though with dark, heavy beers like this, one is usually enough. If you can get your hands on it, and darker beers are your thing, grab one.

And since Dopplebocks are German in origin, here is the obligatory weird German video:

Cheers.

From Ratebeer:

Ragnar:

To counteract your Easter propoganda, I will be writing my review in Old Norse style.  Try and keep up.

Color:  Æggressive hæd, more like meringe than hæd.  Excellent color, dark amber to copper, clær

Aroma: Hôppy with a bit of alcohol in the background

Taste: Hôpps the overwhelming component, very carbonated, sôûr, combination between an IPA and a lambic.  Probably similar to ðhe poison that Sygn collects in a bowl to prevent it from burning Loki’s face, but in a good way.  Þhe burn was plæsant, and overall I enjoyed this brew.

Shawna:

Color: murky ambery copper, with persistent head

Aroma: hoppy

Taste: sour + hoppy( times 4= bitter) = weird. This beer is almost lambicy approaching a sour red ale.  Rather than registering on the tongue this beer hits on the palate, which is really weird and unexpected. Overall, I don’t like this beer. I like sour browns (lips of faith), sour reds are ok, but the combination of bitter from all the hops and the sour together is not good. If this is what element 115 tastes like it can stay hidden as the bottle proclaims.

Cheers,

The Douchebags

And now…for something completely different.