Bees Knees Life

Get In Gear 10k recap

2013-05-10T09:42:00.000-07:00

So I ran the Get in Gear 10k on April 27th. I realize that's almost two weeks ago now, but everyone loves a race recap!

The Get in Gear is big race locally that has been going on for 36 years. It's a loop course that is mostly along the Mississippi River in Minneapolis and St. Paul.

Going in, I felt totally unprepared for this race and was bummed, because when I signed up I wanted to be really ready. Well, April was a crazy month with being out of town, the babies' first birthday, and them both being sick what seems like most of the month. I ran 7 miles two weeks before this, and that was the longest I ran besides 3-4 milers and speed work which were mostly on the treadmill.

Anyway, the weather FINALLY turned here, and Saturday morning was gorgeous. I was extremely excited to be putting on shorts and a t-shirt for once. The first mile was crowded, so I was doing the usual bob and weave. I think this is where I added my extra .10 of distance. The start was my only gripe. The 10k and 1/2 all start at the same time in the same start corral. Would have been nice to send out one of the two 10 minutes apart. But I am clearly not a race director.

The first two miles felt awesome, so I just went with it and pretty much kept my pace the whole way. I had no goal going in because I didn't want to set myself up for disappointment. I almost felt like I could have pushed a little more, but hindsight is 20/20 and all. My mile splits were all pretty even, so that's always a win.

I finished right around 52:00 and was 31st out of 350ish in my age group. My 10k PR is 48:42 (at this race, which I am doing again this year), so I have a lot of work to get back to that. I still think the 10k is a favorite distance of mine. It was a really fun race and the course was relatively flat, so I think I will be back next year. I've heard the weather is usually bad for it, but as long as the roads aren't covered in ice, I think it will still be a good one.

I know a race recap should be filled with photos, but I went to this one alone so I only have the one photo I took of the finish line flag. There's just something about those over sized finish line flags.

In addition to the Fill Their Plates 10k, I am also signed up for the Esprit de She 5k on July 25th. I signed up with a few co-workers, so I am looking forward to having fun with it. After that? I am undecided until September. I might just run for running's sake and build up to that fall 10k and then 1/2 marathon I have planned.

The Twins Turn One

2013-04-23T18:48:00.000-07:00

In light of the Boston tragedy, I wanted to say that I have been thinking about and praying for everyone that was affected. I have a lot of internet friends who were there, and while they are all okay, I know they are still dealing with the brevity of being there. I personally was not affected in any way except being a runner myself. I didn't feel right posting anything without mentioning this, because the posts to come will be happy things. I like to think finding the good in the world is what people need. So, if you find babies who are turning one to be a good thing, you have come to the right place.

In mom's of multiples circles, reaching the 1st birthday is a big milestone. Most people will tell you the hardest part is over. I guess only time will tell whether I can agree to that. As a fun trip down memory lane, here is my birth story.

I feel rather emotional, in a good way, about reaching one year. When I look back on the year, I have a hard time recalling to memory what each day really looked like. If you asked me what I did on say, June 17th of 2009, I could probably give you a good guess based on my calendar and job at the time.If you asked me what I was doing June 17th of 2012, I can't even picture it. Except to say that I was probably going through my routine of feeding, pumping, putting babies to sleep, over and over again. People told me the first 3 months would be a blur, and for the most part, they are. I have plenty of photos and videos, and of course memories, but recalling just how tiny they were now is so hard.

A few weeks old. Baby boy on the left, baby girl on the right.

The biggest smile you'll see. (baby boy)

Feisty and full of personality, this one. (baby girl)

Of course, most things are easier now, but then other things get harder. I like that they are mobile for the most part, but it's exhausting trying to contain two crawlers going in two different directions. They are also learning how to get our attention and testing boundaries. And, it amazes me at how different the two really are already.

I think this winter ( I hope) will go down as one of my most difficult. I was alone for the majority of evenings and every part of my being was challenged. I hope that I learned something from it all. Right now all I can really think of is that I don't think I could ever be a stay at home mom. Or a single parent. Not that I was an actual single parent, but parts of what I did were probably similar.

We had an amazing party for our duo because of our family and friends. There was cake smashing, wrapping paper ripping, and lots of attention getting. We went with a Mickey and Minnie Mouse theme. Their names also start with M, so it was really full circle.

My little mister was really hamming it up for all of his admirers.

Little lady wasn't quite as receptive, but she still had fun and got to eat frosting.

She must have been tired from taking her first steps the day before. (!)

We would have never made it this far without all of the support from everyone in our lives, including you. It truly does take a village.

Being realistic

2013-04-10T11:10:00.001-07:00

So thank you for those who responded to my last post. I feel like a bad blogger for not acknowledging your support until now.

I know it's lame, but I just have been too busy to formulate anything worth typing out. I often come up with the best blog post ideas when I am out running, but then never remember to sit down and put pen to paper so to speak. Or I guess remember isn't the right word. More like never find time.

On the forefront of blog related topics is my decision (or not) to run a 1/2 or long-ish race in May. I was optimistic in March when I was consistently getting in 3-4 week day runs, a decent long run, and a lifting session each week. My 7k race was rather lackluster given the weather, but it felt good and was encouraging.

Fast forward to April, and things have escalated quickly. Work has picked up and I am bringing stuff home in the evenings once again. I am missing some of my lunch time running again because of work. I am not complaining though. This job is much more enjoyable and doesn't feel nearly as much like work as when I was putting in this much time at my previous job.

Oh and those babies I have? Are turning ONE in two weeks. Yeah. There's that. We are planning a little family shindig, and as easy as one can make a party, it's still work and coordination. That same weekend we are also getting some professional photos done for the duo, so finding outfits, shoes, etc. has been some extra effort.

With all of the above, I haven't been getting in the quality running I thought I would. It's okay. There are much more important things right now and spending time with my soon to be one year-olds is tops.

After some careful thought, I've decided to scrap the idea of a 10+ mile race in May. I have a 10k coming up on 4/27 and depending on how it goes with my current level of fitness, will either look for a few more 10k's or 5k's for the summer. I want to keep up my 3-4 week day runs and one long run a week with the idea that getting into 1/2 marathon shape would only take a few extra weeks of careful training.

So that's where I am at with running. I hope to share some fun photos and stories from the next few weeks and of course a 10k race recap.

Get Lucky 7k recap

2013-03-21T06:47:00.003-07:00

Going into this race, I kept up a decent schedule of long runs and some speed work. It was only a few weeks worth, but I felt better than I had in a while about my running. I was looking forward to seeing what I could do, then the weather got crappy. And cold. The temp was 16F when I woke up that morning, and we had a nice layer of snow over ice from the night before. After the weather we had that week, I sort of let go of any expectations knowing it was going to be brutal.

I drove myself down to the race and already regretting my decision not to park further away and started getting stuck in traffic of those that were trying to do the same thing as me. I found a spot on the street, but the meter wouldn't take my credit card because the accept button was frozen. I can't make this stuff up. Fortunately, I found a ramp that was still open. A bunch of people were huddled in the lobby trying to keep warm. I didn't want to be shoving my way into the start, so I soldiered on outside. Dang it was cold. My toes were frozen immediately.

I jogged over to the start and met up with a friend.. He is one of those natural runners that is just always fast. We hung out near the 8:30 per minute mile markers and waited for our wave to start. I started with him and tried to keep up with him even though he was "taking it easy". The first mile was completely icy. It was impossible to get traction. There was a break when we hit a salted road, but the icy patches were everywhere so I would be going, but then lose my footing at no notice. Oh and my toes were frozen, making it even harder to sense my footing. I lost my friend at about the 2.5 mile mark. I could still see him for a while, but between dodging ice and other runners/walkers, I had to let him go.

Anyway, I kept a pretty steady pace the whole way and kept myself just a little uncomfortable pace wise the whole way. I ended up with an 8:23 average pace and a total time of 36:23. My goal going in was just to finish under 9 minute miles, so with the conditions, I was pleased. I think I was 70ish out of over 3000 in the 30-39 AG. For reference, I ran this same race two years ago with a time of 33:40.

I am not sure I will do this race again next year. The swag is great ( I love the sweatshirt you get) but it is getting ridiculously crowded. There were almost 10,000 runners. There were people still in the starting corals when I finished, and I am so glad I lined up to start where I did.

In the end it felt great to race again. And I hope someday I can get back to where I was two years ago, but I know i have to be patient. As hard as it is. Up next: Get in Gear 10k on 4/27. I made the tough decision not to do a 1/2 marathon in May. I might not do one until fall. I will reevaluate in a month and see if a June or July 1/2 is going to be realistic. For now, I think the 10k distance will suit me. I have another one in June on the docket.

Finally, here are some not purchased race photos! I am might have been the only one not wearing any green.

Is this real life?

2013-03-20T07:19:00.002-07:00

The impending shut down of Google Reader has had me really debating my role in this whole blog world as a creator and a consumer. When I first started this thing many years ago, it was a way to keep myself accountable to a new fitness and eating regimen and track my workouts. Last night I ate cereal for dinner. To say that the blog has taken a backseat is an understatement. I just don't have time to do what I want with it. I would love to spend time redesigning things, organizing posts better, etc. So why even bother to keep it up?

The one draw I have is that someday, some year, it will be a great journal of sorts to look back on and see what life was like in 2013. (Assuming Google doesn't shut down other things like blogger and Gmail, which isn't a given I guess.) As you can imagine, I never got around to starting baby books for the babies, shocking I know. So we started email addresses for each and have been writing to them about what's going on in life. And, the blog is a way for them to look back, too, especially as I already can't remember details about their lives like when they started sleeping in their cribs or slept through the night for the first time. It's all a blur to be honest. A good blur, but still a blur.

So, as I figure out what I want to do with this space, I hope you will hang out with me. I have a race recap to post (waiting for photos) and some other workout related fodder. And whether you like it or not, I am sure I will be posting a lot about the Big One Year, which is only a month away. I also hope to actually DO more things like go on walks, use a jogging stroller, go to the parks, etc. You know things that people do who don't live in this state of perpetual winter like I do.

As for the consumer side, I have seen a few Google Reader alternatives. So far Bloglovin looks the most appealing. But I hate change when it comes to my computer and software, so this transition will be fitful.

Anyone have an alternative to Google Reader they have used and love?

Double digits

2013-03-05T05:57:00.000-08:00

We've reached double digits! 10 months old. I was reminiscing and looking at photos and videos of when they were smaller, and I can hardly remember those days. Sad, but exciting all at the same time. Tiny babies are cute and snuggly, but I think I am enjoying this interaction and activity stage much better. Baby girl has moved quickly from crawling to pulling herself up to standing, to now attempting to just stand up in the middle of a room with no support. She is rather adventurous.

Baby boy is just chillin' for the most part. He scoots and rolls around, but hasn't quite gotten around to crawling yet. I am okay with that. Chasing one baby is plenty of work right now.

Both are clapping, doing "so big" and waving. They are also starting to talk to each other and laugh (and cry) when the other does. I'm sure it's comforting to them to have each other at daycare. They have other friends but I bet it's nice to have that familiar face throughout the day.

At the moment, their favorite foods are chicken breast and pancakes. As we try more real food with them, I'm sure this will evolve. It is pretty cute to see them excited about food and knowing what is coming when they are getting into their high chair.

Another milestone was our first outing as a family to a sit down restaurant. It wasn't relaxing like dinners out of yore, but a tap beer always makes things better for mom and dad. We kept the babies entertained with food from our plates and it worked well. We also ordered our food right away, and asked for the check as soon as possible. I am thinking we have a grace period when they sit in the high chair and are placated with food for a few months. I've heard that going out to eat with older toddlers can be quite the challenge.

Me? Trouble?

Never!

Mister and Mom

Playing toys, his favorite.

In other less cute happenings, I am starting to realize that my 7k race is quickly approaching. I know it's not a long race, but it's my first in a long time and I don't want to be totally unprepared. My tolerance for the treadmill is waning each day and the weather has not been pleasant. There seems to be a couple snowy days each week leading to annoyingly covered roads and trails and then it turns bitterly cold - too cold for me. There are SO many reasons I am dying for Spring to be here, but outdoor running is definitely one of them. I don't have huge goals for that race, but I would love to make it slightly under 9 minute miles.

Besides the 7k on 3/16, I keep hoping that I can get in a 1/2 marathon in May or June. I won't know if this is realistic or not until a few weeks into March when my baby daddy is done with his winter job. Here's hoping a 1/2 is on the horizon sooner than later.

I was happy with my mileage for January and February - both 51 miles. I was hoping for more in February, but I was sick for about 5 days and it was a short month. I am getting close to the double digits in long runs, too. I made it out for 8 on Sunday and it was fairly easy (?). I averaged 9:00-9:20 minute miles. Feels good to be able and go out and run for over an hour again.

Back at it

2013-02-22T07:06:00.001-08:00

Okay for some non-baby blog fodder...

Here is a legit workout report. I lifted actual weights! My new gym has some Olympic lifting gear, so I was able to do the deadlifts at the proper height with 25's. I was surprised at how easy 95 felt. I am excited to get back to 135 and hopefully it will be sooner than later. On the other hand, the BSS's were verrrry hard. I felt like my muscles were forming their neurons (yes, neurons) one at a time. So slow and jerky.

warm up
1.25 mile run

Deadlifts
3 x 10 x 95
Bulgarian split squat
3 x 6 x 25's
Lat pulldown
3 x 10 x 60 (I think...the weights are listed as single numbers, so this was a 6. Felt harder than 60 though.)
one arm shoulder press
3 x 6 x 20's
Palloff press
3 x 10 x 60

My goal is to do something similar once a week. I am sore all over today, which is always a good feeling.

Nine

2013-01-22T06:22:00.001-08:00

Nine months has a certain ring to it. I am awaiting the babies' one year mark because I feel like I will have "made it", but hitting 9 months feels good, too. Since I am still in the dark ages of winter and being a full-time working married-single mom in the evenings, I am really just in survival mode until my husband's winter job is over in March.

But let's talk about the good things have have been happening since I last posted.

1. I accepted a new job that combines both my professional life and my personal interests, i.e. all things fitness and/or what this blog used to be more about rather than babies. It's only been a little over a week but I am ecstatic. Not only about the work, but the many things that come with it including the right location for our family, the awesome little perks, and of course better pay and less stress (so far).

2. With #1 comes access to a gym for me and my family. I will be starting to workout more especially over the lunch hour and maybe, just maybe a 1/2 marathon might happen in 2013.

3. I signed up for the Get Lucky 2013 7k race in March. I ran this race in 2011 as one of my first races after getting back into distance running. It's an odd but fun distance. I have zero expectations right now, but hope to figure out a goal as I get closer based on adding in some actual training in the next couple weeks.

4. My babies are 9 months old! Life is still challenging, but many things are getting easier. We have had a great couple weeks of sleep which always helps. They are exploring their worlds more and more each day. Some big milestones are eating more "real" food like actual peas versus pea purees. They enjoy their puffs and cheerios quite a bit and we did have a good experience with red lentils over the weekend. Baby girl is getting anywhere she wants to by crawling, scooting, and army crawling. Baby boy is pretty content just sitting and playing. He also started clapping whenever you start singing the "patty cake" song.

5. My little brother got engaged! I am over the moon excited for him and his amazing fiance.

So far 2013 is going pretty well. I don't get all nostalgic about a previous year or make resolutions for the next, but this one seems to be on track. I have a few very loose fitness goals this year, but I have zero expectations. That may sound complacent to some, but with twins and a new full time job, just getting through each day is a success. I will admit I am looking forward to the babies getting a little older. I am excited for them to explore their world around them through walking and talking. I am excited to take them places and do things with them. Right now, they don't get to do a whole lot because for one, it's -5 degrees outside, and I haven't quite figured out the logistics of taking them places by myself; nor do I want to.

And for some real nostalgia, here is me roughly one year ago...

And here are some much more pleasant pictures to look at....

Getting closer to a year and it will be here before I know it. I guess I better start party planning? Any great ideas for a double 1 year birthday?

Mish Mash

2012-12-21T06:43:00.000-08:00

So, baby girl is 8 months old today. Baby boy will be 8 months tomorrow. As long as the world doesn't end. So far so good. They are getting to be quite a lot of fun lately. We have a few teeth that have finally popped, but are still in the throes of teething fussiness. We also had some sickness this month which led baby boy to getting his very first nebulizer for a cough. Also meant some long nights with little sleep for everyone.

In other good news, we are officially done with our Craniocap/helmet therapy for plagiocephaly. It really wasn't all that bad, but we are very happy not to have to deal with the appointments and stinky baby heads. Overall, I am really happy we decided to do the therapy. Both babies have great looking noggins.

Capped

It's been about a month since I posted, as usual. As I alluded in my last post, I am pretty much in survival mode during the week. In no way do I intend to be all "OMG look how OMGBUSY I am!!!!" Just thought I would share what a working mom with twins with busy husband's average day is like:

4:00am - 5:00am - wake up almost never by alarm. One baby is usually awake. They usually get brought into our bed and fall immediately asleep. Well played, babies.

5:15am - 6:45 am - Mad dash around the house to get everyone ready for the day. Sometimes is derailed by poopslosions, spit up, or general fussiness.

7:00am - 4:00pm - Work for me, which lately has been not a walk in the park.

4:00pm - Leave work for the 30 minute drive to daycare for pickup.

4:45 - 5:00pm - arrive home from daycare. Babies usually fall asleep in the car. This gives me a window of time to get myself changed, prepare bath necessities, layout clothes, and mix up some baby food.

5:30pm - Dinner time for the babies. They sit side by side in their high chairs (we have these) while I sit in front of them takign turns feeding them. Generally this goes smoothly, but lately they have been not as interested in bottles or food. (Occasionally one will have a poopslosion or gagging that turns into dinner coming back up. Then the fun begins!)

5:45-6:00pm - Bath time. I set up one on the floor with some toys while I bathe the other. Most of the time the floor baby is content, but often there is crying. After bath number one, the first baby is set up in the pack and play with toys. Again, sometimes content, other times screaming because they want to be held.

6:00-6:30 - Playtime. This varies, because sometimes bath time takes longer, or I get home later, so sometimes we don't get much playtime.

6:30pm - Bottle time. I usually pick the baby that looks more tired or is more fussy and set the other one up with toys nearby. As you can imagine, results vary as to how much crying happens. Usually they are pretty tired from their day at daycare, so getting them to sleep is pretty easy. If Mr. BKL is home "early", he is home by 6:30, so he helps with bedtime.

7:00pm - Bed time. Usually both babies are in their cribs sleeping by this point.

7:00pm - 9:00pm - Clean up high chairs, bottles, do laundry. If I am extra motivated, I will do a workout or run on the treadmill. Eat something - usually leftovers, a sandwich, cottage cheese out of the container, or some kind of frozen thing. Someday I will cook again. Maybe.

9:00pm - 10:00pm - More general chores and hopefully bed time.

I had a good stretch one week this month where I ran 3 times and did the MH Spartacus workout. I was feeling pretty dope about it. Of course, things got derailed with sickness and the busyness of the season. So far this week I have ran once, so I am hoping to do more of that with my time off.

I did however sent in my registration to my first race of 2013, and first since 2011 - the Get Lucky 7k in March. I did this one in 2011 and it's a fun distance. It's about 4.375 miles. I did it in 33:40 that year. I am guessing I won't be able to match that or beat it, but I would love to be under 9 minute miles. Lot of work to do for that to happen. I am eyeing a 1/2 marathon in April, but that is a huge commitment right now, so I am not making any promises.

I am looking forward to some time away from work and with my family. I am so excited to have the babies' first Christmas. It will be a great holiday. I am also excited to have some extra helping hands when we are at my parents house. And maybe even an overnight away from our little duo for some rest. Although, it's hard to not want to be with these two all the time....

Little Lady

The Mister

Wishing you all very happy holidays!

Seven Months

2012-11-21T09:23:00.001-08:00

Once again I've been terrible about updating the blog! Lots going on. Namely, the beginning of the dark ages (aka the beginning of winter sports season). This is a time that goes from the end of November until mid-March each year. A time that up until now, meant more alone time for me sans Mr. BKL.

This year, the challenge ahead of me is greater. The weeknight routine with two babies is challenging with two adults, but when you are outnumbered it's a little more unnerving. There is a lot of....crying. And wanting to be held. Our lovely duo has recently become aware of Mom and Dad and want to be held more now. I believe it's what the professionals call separation anxiety. It makes it much more difficult to leave one to play or bounce in a jumper while the other is bathed and vice versa. But, we will all get used to this new routine and hopefully I will survive gaining more patience.

Speaking of, we seem to have conquered both going to bed and breaking the swaddle. For those of you reading this with kids, you know this is a huge task. We tried to break the swaddles back around 4 months, but it did not go well. It's nice to know that bed time is at 7 and after that, I am free to get a few tasks accomplished. I am hoping I get comfortable enough to bring the monitor with me on the treadmill some evenings.

As the title alludes, my little ones are now seven months old. I have no cliches to go along with this like "it's gone so fast!" because really, it hasn't. It has gone by like normal time. Some days are harder than others, and I try to take it in stride. We had a rough week a few weeks back when a stomach virus/norovirus struck our house. Baby boy and myself were the only ones to fall victim, but it was trying. We had been getting little sleep prior to that and I thought I was at my wits end. Being sick myself and pretty much worthless to anyone was almost as hard as seeing baby boy sick and not his usual smiley self. Fortunately it only struck me down for about a day and a half. I could handle a cold for months on end if I never had to experience stomach bugs.

On a more positive note, the babies are constantly changing and reaching new milestones. There is so much change that will happen between now and 12 months, it should be fun. They are now eating various cereals and veggies. The exciting world of solids is upon us! There is a lot of chatter going on, and both seemed to have mastered the "da, da, da" sound, much to Mom's chagrin.

Here are a few pics. Baby boy is about 5 pounds bigger than his sister, so it should be obvious who is who in these.

We are excited to begin our first holiday season as a family. I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!

Running update

2012-11-06T06:56:00.000-08:00

I managed 37 whole miles in the month of October. A far cry from when I used to run one hundred thirty seven miles. But...onward and upward. The thing I am most pleased about is setting a goal of running 3 times a week, and achieving it. It seems ever so slightly possible that I could train for an actual race on this schedule. Right now, I am aiming to start increasing my Saturday run into a long run, one mile at a time.

Over the weekend I managed a confidence building 5 miler with negative splits. My last mile was around 9:06. I felt like I could have run another 5.

The other piece of this pie was actually running on my alleged lunch break at work. I say alleged because since becoming a "professional" I usually eat lunch at my desk whilst browsing the interwebz reading blogs and other fodder for about 30 minutes or so. That time can be sacrificed a few times a week for the greater good, no?

Scenes from a run

The following are my criteria for running during the work day:

1. Must be under 50 degrees, otherwise I sweat too much to not shower.
2. Must not have any meetings or crazy deadlines.
3. Must not be raining. Probably not good form to spend the afternoon with the drowned rat look and running mascara raccoon eyes.

I guess that's only 3. It helps that I have access to some nice trails to run on near my work and a locker room (with shower if I had the time) to change. So far, I have managed 3 miles. With changing before and after, it comes out to just under an hour. As I get faster again, I might be able to manage 4 miles at lunch.

The next piece in the action plan? Strength training. Carrying around a 20 pound baby sure does help, but I can't quite count it. My bro recently sent me an awesome workout plan from Men's Health that is a 30 minute interval/circuit style workout. If I could manage that once a week, I would be thrilled.

Sometimes I am hard on myself because I think I should be doing more. I don't like to make excuses for myself, but sometimes you do have to look at reality. I work full time and have 6.5 month old twins. I know that in time, things will get easier. For now, I have to be realistic with my goals. I am pretty set on running the Get Lucky 7k as my first race of 2013. Hopefully a 1/2 marathon in April/May would be next. I've already started scouting my options. Heck, I could even be out racing with the jogging stroller by then.

One year ago

2012-10-29T09:06:00.001-07:00

I will always remember the day 10/29 for the rest of my life. It was a day that was intended to ease some anxiety about my newly found pregnancy. When I took that first at home pregnancy test, it was of course a mix of emotions. Early on like that, I was very excited but a loss was always on my mind. Not to mention knowing that our lives would never be the same. I took that test on 9/10/11. Another easy date to remember. The next Monday, I called to make an appointment with a midwives group. I wouldn't see them until over 10 weeks along. That is a long time to wait and wonder. Once that appointment finally came and went without getting a heart beat, I was still apprehensive. Everything else seemed to go well, but I still was having anxiety over it. I was set to go back in two weeks, but again, it seemed like forever to wait.

As I alluded to in my announcement post, a very special person offered to do a quick ultrasound for me. So, on 10/29 we hopped in the car and made our way to what would be a life changing event.

For my very first ultrasound ever, I was nervous. I got on the table and held Mr. BKL's hand tight. I was watching the eyes of this very special person, and immediately upon placing the transducer on my belly, her eyes were wide. I asked "Is everything okay?" She said, after a few confirmation passes, "Oh my God you guys, there are two in there!"

I turned my head to the screen and said "What? You are kidding right?" And sure enough. Clear as day, there were two little bodies dancing around.

The 3 of us were crying, laughing, shaking, and in disbelief. Once we were able to compose ourselves, we took a few pictures of the little litter. They both had great heartbeats and were very active. Of course with twins comes the question of what kind of home they are living in. There are more risks if they share a placenta or even an amniotic sac. Highly rare, but it can happen. Fortunately, at that time we could see a separation, so we were pretty sure they were Dichorionic-Diamniotic.

We took our pictures with us and were on our way to sit in further disbelief. We were able to tell my parents in person that same day. I would say disbelief is the right word for their reactions as well. We simply sent the photo via text to other family members and friends and waited to see who guessed right at what they were really looking at. It was fun to see who was able to see two babies. Not many people get to announce they are pregnant, then get to announce an addendum to the news.

I can't say I know when it really set in. I don't think it really did until we started buying two of everything. There was joy, panic, apprehension, worry, stress...so many things that come along with twins. All that stuff never really went away during the whole pregnancy.

I am often reminded of just how blessed we are to have these two. There are a lot of things that can go wrong with a twin pregnancy...or any pregnancy for that matter.

Someday when they are old enough to understand, we will tell them the story of how we found out. I know one thing is for sure, I will never forget this day.

11 weeks:

6 months:

(a recycled photo...I know! More to come)

This morning

2012-10-16T06:16:00.003-07:00

We normally don't dress the babies on matching outfits, but this was a rare occasion. I wanted to get a picture. Easier said than done...

Happy Tuesday!

Five Months

2012-10-02T08:35:00.001-07:00

I figure it's high time for an update. The twins turned 5 months old on the 21st and 22nd. I know everyone says it goes fast and in some ways it has, and some ways it hasn't. I am looking forward to the big changes that will be coming soon, including sitting, rolling, and maybe even crawling in the coming months. We had a hilarious experience giving baby boy his first taste of solids last weekend. He was so confused and I don't think he swallowed any. He is big enough now to eat a steak dinner, so it's only a matter of time before he learns to love real food. I am a little meh on the whole rice cereal thing. I am not a crunchy hippie or anything, but we don't eat a lot of white processed grains ourselves, so why give it to them? I plan on giving them real food like avocado and banana sooner than later.

Both babies are doing great. They are doing typical baby-like things including babbling, constant smiling, trying ever so hard to roll over and occasionally succeeding, and putting everything in their mouths to name a few.

Happy to be 5 months old

They are wrapping up their second week of day care and so far we are no worse for the wear except for their first colds. I figured it would take all of a week before they were sick. I was about right. It seems that this cold has started to invade my nose as well. As an admitted germaphobe, this constant sickness thing is going to wear on me, but what can you do?

I mentioned in a previous post that baby boy had been getting some physical therapy for torticollis. The reason we got evaluated in the first place for torticollis was because of suspected plagiocephaly. (Don't you love these big words?) Both babies have mild cases of plagiocephaly and have started helmet therapy. And while it's slightly disheartening to know my little babies will be helmeted for the next 4 or so months, I know that they will never know the difference and they will have nicely shaped heads in the end. Plagiocephaly is more common in twins because they get rather squished in the womb, and then it affects their little noggins.

Not sure about this...

Of all the things we could be going to the children's hospital for, this is probably the best. Being there is a constant reminder of just how lucky we are to have healthy, happy babies.

Once again, I have nothing eventful to report on the workout front. With our daycare/nanny debacle and working more than I care to, there hasn't been a lot of extra time. My latest idea is to start running over the lunch hour. I refrain from calling it a lunch break, because in my 7+ years as a professional, I haven't worked at a place that forces you to take an hour break, so I don't. If this plan actually comes to fruition, I will let you know how it goes. In theory, I would run twice a week at lunch - 30 minutes max - and then one or two more times on the weekend.

And as I'm sure you can imagine, the Autumn Beer Review was a smashing success. I think we both got a little too excited with all the choices. I had a ton of great beers. So many that I got a little hopped-out after a while. The palette can only handle so much hops! A few that stick out in my mind are Fat Tire's Tart Lychee, mostly because it was so unique, and Boulder Beer's Mojo Nitro. It's their Mojo beer on a nitro tap. (Think Boddingtons or Guinness cans.) We also had a few local brews that I enjoyed including Steel Toe's Size 7 and Lucid Brewing's Foto.

Cheers!

That's all I got for now. Life is all work and babies!

Beer me

2012-09-12T07:39:00.000-07:00

Interrupting my usual twin-centric posts to talk about beer. Specifically, the Autumn Beer Review on Saturday.

A year ago, I longingly watched the ABR come and go. Not having tickets and being newly pregnant, it wasn't really in the cards. This year, I made a point to buy tickets. Those of which sold out in less than 5 minutes. I have been wanting to go to beer festivals for years now and the few small sampling events I have been to have been so much fun. I love tasting different beers and talking about beer. I am far from an expert, but I am learning slowly. I do know what I like and what I don't like. There isn't much I won't drink, but in general I prefer a good hoppy beer.

The ABR is one of the largest beer festivals in the Midwest and definitely the largest in Minnesota. The list of breweries participating makes my head spin...Southern Tier, Deschutes, Epic...where to start?!?!

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I am going to make a point to try some of the breweries that don't distribute to the area. And those that don't sell to stores, including the new crop of Minnesota craft brewers. The scene is hopping. Pardon the pun.

I have to admit I am also very excited to have a "date" with Mr. BKL. When we do get a chance to go out, we usually go for happy hour so this is quite fitting. Some co-workers who home brew and are much more scholarly when it comes to all things beer will also be there, so hopefully they can show me the ropes and of course how to properly wear a pretzel necklace. Another attendee I am excited about? None other than Kat! I hope we get to meet up - girl knows her beers. I will report back with all my new beer nerdery knowledge next week.

In totally unrelated news, we settled on a daycare center. Thanks to everyone who helped us search! I really hope it will be a good fit for us. Maybe, just maybe we will finally get a routine down. And when we do, I will find time to write about my thoughts on the whole ordeal we went through.

Turn it up to eleven

2012-08-31T12:20:00.003-07:00

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I feel like that is what life is doing to me right now...turning up everything to an eleven. Before I delve into life lately, let me preface this by saying I am grateful for all that I do have. I have two healthy, happy, thriving babies, a beyond amazing husband, a supportive family amazing friends, a roof over my head, a job, and so forth.

That being said...

1. My job has been very busy. The stress level keeps growing. The responsibilities, expectations, and tasks pile on each week. I am not sure how some of my co-workers are managing with more projects than me. That's about all I will say for now. Mostly because it wasn't that long ago that I would have killed for any job and I should still be grateful. To sum it up, I have been bringing work home or coming in on the weekend as an attempt to keep up, and I am no where close. And no one wants that.

2. My little guy has started physical therapy for a very common in twins condition called torticollis. We have been doing some stretches and exercises at home, too. He has made a ton of progress and did great at his first appointment yesterday. The problem is getting him to every other week appointments that can only be scheduled between 8 and 5. Just adds to an already complicated schedule, not to mention the logistics when we are only taking one baby. The other baby can't really come with because Mom or Dad have to help with the PT.

3. And, the piece de resistance, our nanny told me yesterday that "it's not going to work out." She said it wasn't us or the babies, and I guess I would rather know sooner than later if she was overwhelmed and feeling incapable. Still, I almost fainted and threw up on the spot. So, since yesterday at about noon, we have been in full fledged day care search mode. It was stressful and time consuming the first two times I did it this past spring, then again in June and July. Do.Not.Want. I put out a blast on Facebook about our situation which is so not like me, but am glad I did. I've already received lots of leads. As much as I get annoyed with people on Facebook, it does come in handy to reach a wide audience quickly.

4. The combination of #1 and #3 is a bigger picture type complaint. We both have to work, but we can't afford day care. What a joke. It's no secret there is a shortage of day care in this area. Not to mention, Minnesota has one of the worst states in the country in regards to home day care performance and regulation. We have one of the higher in home day care death rates in the country, as well as one of the highest day care prices per capita in the country, too. (I know there are links to back up my stats but I really don't have the energy. Google it.)

Because of all of the above, I have stopped reading some blogs. (When I have time to read them that is! And If you are reading this, it's not yours.) As much as I would hate to be "that girl", man would it be nice. A blogger as a full time job/stay at home mom? Sign me up. I wouldn't care what people thought of me and my "busy" schedule, my annoying organic creations, excess nut butter creations, and running a ton of races I wasn't trained* for...I would be happy and home with my babies. Nothing could stop me from wanting that. I know, I know. The whole "if your grass isn't green, water it" and all that jazz. Sometimes you just want things to go a little easier in life.

And now, look at the babies.

See? That makes it all better.

Speaking of the babies, they are 4 months old now. I promise when I have a hot minute I will post more about them and their milestones.

*Not that anyone was paying attention, but that little goal I had to run 50 miles in August was a big fat fail, if you didn't gather that from the above. September is a new month, right? I know, I should be doing stand-up.

A new goal

2012-08-01T06:56:00.001-07:00

While I am not yet throwing in the proverbial towel on my plans to run this race in October, I think part of being a good Mom (human?) is knowing when to say when.

I'm sure it's a surprise to no one when I say that I am having a hard time fitting in workouts and running. Not much has changed since my last post. I remember when I had a less demanding job and was newly married, I would wonder how people couldn't find time to workout. I thought to myself that I would never be that person and would always make time if it's important. Of course I could have never known I would that life would change dramatically in the course of a year and a half.

A typical weekday for the past couple weeks....(because I know how much people love these kind of posts):

4:45am - Up for the day. Baby boy starts squawking and then starts crying as he is OMG SO HUNGRY. The kid is an eater.

5:00-5:30am feed baby boy, try to put him back to sleep, or pass him off to Mr. BKL to get him back to sleep, or pick up a crying baby girl if she is now awake.

5:30-6:30am - make coffee, shower, start to get ready for work, pump. Finish getting ready and find something to bring for lunch.

6:30am - try to get out the door.

7:00am-4:00pm - work

4:30-6pm - arrive home, get some smiles from the babies, get changed, give Mr. BKL a break. On Mondays, he leaves for one of his summer jobs. If neither of us have somewhere to be (which has only happened a handful of times since I have been back at work) we may take a family walk or one or both of us will go running. Things like grocery shopping and Target trips have to happen at this time, too.

6:00-7pm - feed the babies, give baths if it's bath night

7:00-7:30pm - play with babies, then attempt to get them to nap

7:30-8:30pm - clean, laundry, pick up house, assemble* dinner, eat dinner (in shifts if one or both babies isn't sleeping)

8:30-9:30pm - feed babies, swaddle them, get them to sleep for the night

9:30pm - 10:30pm - wash dishes and bottles/load dishwasher, make lunch for the next day, get clothes ready for the next day. Possibly sit with Mr. BKL for a minute or watch something on TV.

10:30 - hopefully sleeping

So, the way I see it is I either get up before 4am to run on the treadmill or I start trying to do it at 9:30pm. Either way, I am losing sleep. The above does not factor in the possibility of one or either baby waking up in the night or earlier than 4am. Which has happened often.

I am not posting this to be all look how busy I am! But merely as a mea culpa of my former self who said she would always find time. I wanted to run a 1/2 mostly for the weight loss factor and wanting to get back into shape. Not to mention having some "me" time. I can accomplish those things without the time commitment that training for a 1/2 entails.

Enter: the new goal.

I recently joined a local faction of a Mom's of Multiples Group, and they set up an August Miles challenge. My new goal is to simply run 50 miles for the month. I know it doesn't sound like a lot, but I think it will be a happy medium between training for a 1/2 and getting some distances over 3 miles in.

As I said, I am not giving up my goal of the Monster Dash 1/2 quite yet, but I already looked ahead to see what early spring 1/2's are out there. Among my options:

-Get in Gear 1/2 4/27
-Get Lucky 1/2 3/16
-Goldy's Run 10 mile Late April

Then of course there are the two I ran in 2011 - Earth Day and Fargo. I really want to do Fargo again, but logistics with the wee babes is a bit more challenging. Earth Day would be easy because I can stay with my parents, and while I really liked it, it would be fun to try something new.

I think it will come down to timing. Earth Day is in late April, which would give me more time to train outside. If I did the Get Lucky 1/2, there is the potential for more severe winter conditions and the majority of training being done on the treadmill. Yawn.

So that's my stream of consciousness post on my future racing plans. As with everything related to having babies, things change in an instant!

*assemble, because it's things like sandwiches, cereal, or leftovers from the weekend. On that note...one of the best gifts you can give to families with newborns is a freezer meal!

3 months

2012-07-19T05:52:00.000-07:00

Since I am keeping up a once a month blog schedule, I guess I am now overdue.

On work....

This week marks my return to work full time. I am officially a working Mom now. I have so many mixed feelings about it and maybe in time they will sort themselves out. If I'm completely honest, I was in some ways ready to start back at work. Part of it was just wanting to get this transition over with and get settled into my new normal. Being on maternity leave was temporary and I never planned to be a full time stay at home mom. But only because it was never an option for us for me not to work. Trust me, we tried to make the numbers work. It would have been so much easier for me to stay home with twins. Even with how expensive two infants will be in daycare, it still didn't make sense for me to not work.

On workouts...

Even though it's only been a couple weeks, I am already realizing how hard this will be. One, I figured getting my workouts in would be manageable after work. Of course, I didn't factor in how much I would miss my little ones and want to spend time with them. The time I get to spend with them is so short now, I hate to be gone more than I have to. I am thinking eventually I will have to switch to early morning or late evening workouts when they are sleeping. I Loathe - with a capital L - morning workouts. I have always been terrible at working out first thing in the morning. With the new schedule I have, I would be getting up around 4:30 to make it happen. Yes, it's doable, but not in the least bit desirable. The evening is more appealing, but then it brings up questions of how and when to eat. I wouldn't want to eat my usual big dinner and try to attempt running, but also wouldn't want to wait until 10 pm to eat. So in a nutshell, I have yet to figure this one out.

Because of that, I haven't officially signed up for the Monster Dash 1/2 marathon I was hoping to train for. I have time to decide, but don't want to commit and be under trained and have to do some half-assed run/walk (which there is nothing wrong with - it's just not for me) or completely melt down somewhere around mile 8. The Hal Higdon Novice 2 program is enticing, since I know there is no way I could be ready to actually try for a PR, it would be about using the training to get back into shape and complete the race hopefully in 2 hours. If I can carve out 4 days a week to run, I think I could do it. (Or in other words, if Mr. BKL is supportive, I can do it. I know I can physically do it!) The long run is the key factor in completing the distance, so here is what I would tentatively do:

Sunday: 3-4 miles easy
Tuesday: 3-4 miles tempo or intervals
Thursday: 3-4 miles easy
Saturday: long run

On being a parent...

Yeah, I know. You read about how hard it is all the time. I get it. It is hard. They say the things in life that are hard are the things that are worth it. Or something like that. So far I find this to be true. I have never been challenged emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually as I have in the past 3 months. I also know that as far as twins go, we are in the thick of the hardest phase. Everyone says the first 4 months are the hardest. Maybe someday I will link back to this post and agree with that.

And here are the babies...because that's really why you are here.

Taken by Dad with the iPad. He likes to show me what I am missing while at work.

It's been a while...

2012-06-20T15:17:00.000-07:00

Welp, it's been ages since I've blogged. I'm sure you all know I have good excuses. I really thought I would have more time to sit down and write a little more. Part of the problem is my main access to the internet is via the iPad, which I love, but typing on that thing is less than desirable. So, here's what's been going on random list style:

- The babies are almost 2 months old! The last time I blogged things were pretty easy. Yes, it's all relative, but the first two weeks or so were them sleeping the whole time between feedings. After that, they started to be awake more and in turn need more of our attention. Now at almost two months, they are both more alert and starting to interact with us. I have gotten sort-of smiles from baby boy a few times. They both react to us and I hope lots of smiles are on the horizon.

- I started running again! At 5 weeks post-partum, I attempted my first run and it went well. I made it two miles which was way more than I thought I could do. Sure it wasn't easy, but I did it. I made it another two times that week and 3 times last week. I am up to 3 slow miles at a time, and did a "long run" of 4 miles on Saturday. I wanted to see how not fast I run, so I wore my Garmin today. As I expected, I am running about 10 minute miles. Hoping I can keep building on mileage and increase at least one run a week to 4, then 5, then maybe 6 eventually. I haven't signed up for the 1/2 marathon I want to run in the fall, but I think I can manage with some hard work. I don't plan on attempting to race it like I would have a year ago, but completion is the goal for now. I will need to try to train for it with only 4-5 runs a week at most.

- I officially return to work the week of July 2nd. Honestly, it will be bittersweet. Of course I love being home with my family, but I don't know if I am cut out for the stay at home mom gig. I guess I haven't let myself wonder too much because it's not an option for us. I have been tested many times being home by myself with two newborns. When both have been screaming out of hunger, discomfort, or just wanting to be held, it's been the hardest thing for me to figure out how to soothe. I am only one person and can only hold one at a time for now. There have been tears shed from them and me. Other Mom's of multiples refer to the first few months as "survival mode." It's so true.

- Speaking of feedings, the babies are getting 5/7ths breast milk and 2/7ths formula. And while I go through moments of guilt about not being able to provide 100% breastmilk for them, I have to be happy I have been able to do as much with twins. Someday I will look back and realize that my turmoil and guilt about how they were fed their first 6 months won't matter anymore. It seems like every new Mom has some kind of guilt in regards to breast feeding or nursing. No matter what we do, I think we all feel like there is always more we could have done. Could I have worked harder to tandem nurse my twins? Probably. Would I have been miserable? Most definitely. I am (still) reading Bringing up Bebe by Pamela Duckerman. I will try to write more about it at later time, but a few things have stuck with me. For one, she says something to the effect that American women are always trying to one up each other with the level of misery they endured raising babies. Like we are better if we endured 4 days of labor and nursed our babies until they were 2. Speaking of, if the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies be breastfed for 6 months, why aren't there laws ensuring mothers get 6 months maternity leave to do so? But I digress...

When I do go back to work, I hope to still pump a couple times a day. We'll see how long it lasts. Pumping takes time and work. And supplements. I can say with fairly good certainty that taking Motherlove More Milk Plus Special Blend has made a difference. I highly recommend it.

- Sleep is about 5 or so hours a night at most. Not in a row of course. We feed the babies at 9pm, then they wake between 1-2:30am, then again around 5am. I usually get to bed at 10:30 and take the first feeding. So I usually sleep like this: from 10:30pm to 1am, then 2:30am to 5:00am and then off and on until 7:00am. I get up to pump, then try to sleep until 8:30am or so when the babies get up for the day. From 7am on, they are pretty noisy and restless in their sleep. We recently transitioned them from sleeping in our room in these to their cribs, which didn't go very well, and now they are in the Rock and Plays in there room. They sleep so much better in them. In fact, the past two nights we have gotten almost 5 hour stretches from them. It's amazing how awesome 4 hours of sleep in a row feels.

- Like I mentioned, I will be going back to work full time. We are currently searching for either a day care or a nanny. I am really hoping we can find a nanny for many reasons. I went to home day care as a kid, but with two babies I really feel like our lives would be easier with them at home their first winter. In all seriousness, we are looking so if anyone out there is reading this and knows of an awesome nanny looking for a job this fall, let me know!

And now for some pics. They will be two months old tomorrow and Friday!

By the numbers

2012-05-15T15:57:00.001-07:00

As expected, blogging has taken a very far back seat to the goings-on in my life. It’s amazing how two little people can require so much work. I am sure mothers of one baby say the same.

Things have been going fairly smoothly so far mostly because I haven’t been alone. Mr. BKL had to return to work last week, and my Mom was fortunate enough to take two weeks off from her own job (and her life!) to come help us. I will be forever grateful. I also get to see just how lucky the babes are to have such an amazing Grandma in their life. She seems to love them as much as I do if that’s possible.

I thought I would write up a summation of my life the past 3 weeks with some numbers.

Pounds gained during pregnancy: 53 (7 of which came in the last week alone, a side effect of the pre-eclampsia)

Pounds lost by 12 days post partum: 40 (in other words, I had retained a LOT of water)

Pounds away from pre-pregnancy weight: 10

Beers consumed: Just enough to keep me sane and not enough to interfere with feeding. It’s a tricky balance.

Diapers changed in a day: 16+

Loads of baby laundry each day: 1-2

Doctors visits for the babies: 5

Feedings per 24 hours: 7-8

And now for some gratuitous baby photos….

Baby Girl

Baby Boy

Let me help you with that.

Oh Hai there. (Baby Girl)

Baby Boy

Baby Boy and Mom

No biting!

My first Mother's Day. Under eye bags included!

The Twins Birth Story

2012-04-29T12:17:00.001-07:00

Note: For the sake of privacy, I am not going to mention our babies’ names for now. I will call them Baby Boy and Baby Girl, and as always, my husband is Mr. BKL.

When we left off, I posted my 36 week update. Things were hanging steady being on bed rest. The following week, at 36 weeks 6 days, I had my usual Thursday appointments. My blood pressure was up a little and I had gained 7 pounds in a week. Holy fluid retention! I was puffy, but that’s a lot of water. After some lab work, it turned out I had a mild case of pre-eclampsia. My doctor called me on Friday afternoon around 5:00pm to tell me the news and that I should head over to the hospital to be induced. ZOMG! Mr. BKL and I scurried about the house getting things ready, even though we had our bags packed it was still a shock. I took a shower and we headed to the hospital.

Upon admitting, they got me all hooked up to the bane of my existence, the fetal monitors. You have to wear one for the baby and one for contractions, so I had three. We got moved into our room and luckily had a large one. That evening they started a drug called cervidil to get my cervix ready. I didn’t sleep a wink that first night because of the contractions caused my the cervidil and it was fairly painful. (little did I know what was to come) Between the cervidil and the 3 monitors, getting up to use the restroom was a chore. I had to take the monitors with me and would often move one inadvertently and the nurse would have to come back and get them all working again. Uggh.

I was told we would start pitocin early in the morning. Well, early morning turned into 10:30am by the time the Dr. came to see me. So now, I had 3 fetal monitors and an IV tower to take with me into the bathroom. FUN. I have to give credit to Mr. BKL for helping me get unhooked, out of bed, and hooked in again.

Around 5:00 pm, the Dr. once more came in to check my progress and unfortunately not much had been made. He said we would break the membranes on Baby A to get things moving. And move they did, as well as continue to jack up my pitocin. It only took about 15 minutes before I started feeling contractions come on. They got harder and faster by the second. My nurse said that I could get my epidural at any point and to give her 30 minutes to get it ready. I said I would try to tough it out a little longer because I wanted to make progress. Well, I think I made it to about 5:40 before I had to call her. I started feeling them in my back and they were coming almost every two minutes. She started getting things ready and called the anesthesiologist. Things got progressively worse for me and I was really having to focus and breathe through them. She would push on my back really hard to help with the back labor, but it really didn’t help. I was getting to the point where I was making noises I didn’t know I could make. I kept asking how much longer for the epidural, and she kept saying “soon”. The anesthesiologist was busy that night. (I never asked, but at one point I saw a screen that had all the active labors on it and I think there were about 10.)

By 7pm I was having keeping my breathing under control despite my best efforts. Contractions were coming every two minutes or faster and I was getting no break from them. In a moment of weakness, I accepted fentonyl. I didn’t want to take extra drugs that I didn’t have to for the babies sake, but I was having trouble keeping my breathing under control with the pain. (I was also mad at myself for not researching what it was before heading into my birth. So begins the mommy guilt…right?) It did help me relax some and took the edge off. This was key since each contraction I was having caused my legs to tremor uncontrollably, so I was nervous about holding still during the epidural.

Finally, by 7:30 the anesthesiologist appeared. I finally felt relief! I had no idea how crazy the contractions would be. I tip my hat to all women who do this whole thing without an epidural. I am pretty sure I would have passed out due to lack of oxygen if I would have kept going. The good news is that in those two hours, I went from 2cm dilated to 4cm dilated.

After the epidural, I tried to get comfortable because I have heard it can slow labor slightly. Well, the comfort didn’t last long before I started to feel intense pressure and an urge to push. The pain was numbed, but the pressure was very prominent. A little before 9, I told my nurse about this and she then deemed we were almost ready to start pushing. WHAT??? It had only been 4 hours of contracting. Okay then.

Since I was having twins, I would be delivering in the OR because of the increased risk of a c-section being necessary. We started pushing in our room first, then they wheeled me down to the OR. Mr. BKL donned some sweet scrubs, and we were off. We paused for one quick photo before we left.

The OR was bright, cold and full of people. I was placed into a new bed with large footrests, making me on display for all the world to see if you know what I mean. There were 8 people in the room. The funniest part was the resident following my Dr. who was very focused on what was going on. His face was one of serious study. Glad I could be an instrument of medical teaching, friend.

With lots of pushing and screams, Baby Girl arrived at 9:44pm weighing 5 pounds 4 ounces. She was beautiful! She was a little pale and was below the minimum weight to not go into the Special Care Nursery (level 2 NICU), so she was whisked off. It was awful seeing her being taken away like that. I tried to relax knowing I had to do this all over again, and even said “I have to do this again?” out loud. Mr. BKL says the way I asked that was the best thing I said during the whole process.

The last few pushes getting her out were tough. My epidural was still working though, so I didn’t experience the pain that was to come. Knowing she was the smaller of the two babies, I was nervous about Baby Boy’s arrival. My contractions come to a near halt, and pitocin was once again increased. I started to feel the contractions more and more as time went on. It took a good hour and a 1/2 before I started pushing hard again, and by then, I was started to feel every contraction. Legs shaking about this whole time, mind you even though I wasn’t cold. Before we went down to the OR I had a fleeting thought…what if my babies are born on different days?

Around 11:30, the pain was starting to become intense and I was having trouble breathing through each contraction. In some confusion, the anesthesiologist was called down to give me a bolus to my epidural (a boost), but for some reason he came and went without giving me more. At this point, i was having trouble not screaming each time to push. I worked so hard to get him out, but he started to get stuck. I got nervous when I saw everyone start scurrying around and asked “What is happening?” NO one answered, but I heard something about suction. The Dr. said we are going to have to assist to get him out. I was sad once again and felt like I was failing. I was feeling pressure, pain and burning, and worked so hard to get him out. Finally, with the suction he appeared. Baby boy was born at 12:02 am weighing 6 pounds 14 ounces. He was so gorgeous and pink, but was having trouble breathing. Most likely from getting stuck and possibly swallowing some fluid. He was also whisked away, and this time Mr. BKL followed to be with our babies.

The hard work was not over yet. Next came the placentas, then came the repair work. I was so sensitive and in pain, each time the Dr. touched me I writhed in pain. They once again offered fentynal, and since the babies were out, was happy to accept any and all drug. Finally the anesthesiologist returned to give me that bolus. I was sort of glad Mr. BKL wasn’t there to witness the aftermath. I think I did more screaming than during delivery since I was feeling the pain. I had 4 small tears that were in good places, so I came out of the whole ordeal pretty unscathed.

The first thing I noticed while laying there was the absence of my belly. It literally disappeared. I could see my ribs again! Granted, I was laying down, but it felt great. (More to come on my post partum bod).

After over an hour of work on me, I was finally transferred to a different bed, clothed, and cleaned up. I was taken back to my room where I would get wheel chaired to the Special Care Nursery to finally hold my babies. I wept when I saw them. Not only because they were in incubators hooked up to IV’s and monitors, but because they were my babies. By the time I got there, they had already done amazingly better. Baby Girl was pink, and Baby Boy’s breathing had gotten under control. They had to spend their first two nights and days in the nursery, but they were in great hands. The nurses were as amazing as can be, between reassuring us and caring for the babies.

We finally got back to our room around 4 for some sleep. I of course slept very little as I was all hopped up on drugs and had just delivered two babies. I got to take a shower though, which was probably the greatest shower ever. I still had to be hooked up to pitocin, but was glad to be rid of the monitors finally.

The next day were were back at the nursery for the babies first feeding. Because they were small and in the nursery we were going to give them formula to get their strength up. They were also on dextrose IV’s, so they were doing well. We did some practicing latching and then fed.

The next two days were a whirlwind of nursery visits, recovering, and finally getting ready to head home. We got the okay to head home on Tuesday around noon. My pride was bursting when we walked through the halls of the hospital with them and seeing people’s reactions to my precious babies. Twins are obviously a fun sight to see.

Coming home was great, but it was a lot of work. We had so much to unpack and prepare for even though, once again, we were pretty ready for them to come home before leaving.

All smiles for Dad

As for the babies, they are definitely individuals. Baby Girl is feisty as ever. She is a better eater than her younger brother and is constantly kicking and flailing her arms about. She always has her legs tucked way up, deeming her the nickname “frogger”. Baby Boy is a little chubbier than his sister and is definitely more temperamental. His burps are something to be heard.

Frog legs

We are slowly adjusting to life at home with two newborns. Of course there is the tiredness of little sleep, but when I do sleep it’s very deep. We feed them both every 3 hours around the clock to continue to get their strength up and to grow. Baby Boy is a little jaundice still, and we are working on getting him less yellowed. Each feeding takes about an hour for me. We practice latching, then feed with bottles (some formula and now more and more milk from Mom!), then change them, then I pump. It’s daunting knowing you have about two hours between each feeding before having to start the whole thing all over again. I am so happy to be able to provide my milk for my babies. We will continue to work on nursing, but for now giving them bottles of my milk is an amazing feeling. With twins, I don’t expect to be able to provide for them solely, and I am okay with that. Any breast milk is better than none. I actually don’t mind pumping since I am such a numbers/goal oriented person, and seeing the increase each time plays to my competitive side. As for me, I am really happy to report my swelling from the pre-eclampsia and pitocin is finally subsiding. I can see my ankles for the first time in weeks! Unfortunately, I can also see a significant loss in muscle in my legs. It will be a lot of work to get back to running and lifting. It was all worth it though….

Baby Boy and Baby Girl checking things out.

In a week I have fallen in love with 3 people. My two babies and the new father of my children. I know it’s cliché, but I didn’t think I could love him more than I did. Obviously the babies go without saying.

Thank you all for all the outpouring of love and support during my pregnancy and now on the birth of our babies.

Hello there!

2012-04-25T09:52:00.001-07:00

We are pleased to meet you. Mom will be back soon to post all about our arrival over the weekend.

36 week update

2012-04-17T09:57:00.001-07:00

So here I am, still pregnant at 36 weeks and change with twins. I wasn’t sure I would make it this far. You just never know. There are so many complications that can arise. Fortunately for me, my pre-term labor scare was just that, a scare. I am so glad I took the proper precautions though. I am glad the babies stayed put and continued to develop.

Now? I am ready for them to arrive. I am so ready to not be pregnant anymore. Things hurt. Moving in any capacity is a challenge, and driving sucks. I do have some good news though, I am no longer on bed rest. Don’t be too happy for me though. All those things I mentioned above? Pretty much keep me from moving too far from home. Granted it’s not been a day yet. I am going to ease into daily walks (short ones!) and doing a few more things around home. Just because I am not on strict bed rest doesn't mean I can go out and start training for my next 1/2 marathon. (Wouldn’t that be nice though?)

So, basically we wait for labor to start or, in less than 2 weeks we would schedule an induction or c-section. So, as far away as that seems, the end is in sight!

I took photos for this post but I just can’t bring myself to post them. I assure you I am big. Bigger than last time. Why I thought it was a good idea to take pictures first thing in the morning is beyond me. So for now, I am keeping them for myself to look back on in shock and awe. To be fair, I don’t think I look freaky huge. Yet. If this thing goes on for two more weeks, we might reach circus side show status.

As for the babies, a week ago they were estimated to be 4 pounds 13 ounces and 6 pounds 11 ounces. Our little boy is continuing to put on the lb’s! They are both within acceptable ranges and are simply different humans and are different sizes. I am hoping at this point baby girl is over 5 pounds. We won’t really know until they come out into the world, as ultrasound measurements can be off by quite a bit especially late in the game.

36 week stats:

Weeks along: 36 weeks and a few days
Weight gain: Still in the 40+ range. Hoping to stay under 50, but I don’t have much control over that anymore.
Symptoms: General uncomfortable-ness. Frequent trips to the bathroom at night. Not being able to sit upright.
Workout status: Zilch, but hoping to do a little walking as long as I have the energy.
Eats: I wasn’t doing any cooking the past few weeks, so I got what I was given. Luckily, my husband enjoys cooking and is good at it. I have way less room for food, though. I get full fast.
Cravings: None still.
Clothing: I am pretty much living in sweats and t-shirts these days. I have a handful of maternity t-shirts and tanks I wear on my big outings to the doctor. Otherwise I generally look pretty ridiculous.

Baby Watch - Week 2

2012-04-03T15:04:00.002-07:00

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Welp, it's been 13 days on bed rest. Not that I am counting or anything.

Obviously, there isn't much to report in the way of blog fodder. I can't think of much else in life that would procure less interesting blog posts. Prison? Nah, even that would be more interesting.

My big excursion last week was to go to my doctors appointments. Fortunately, no news is good news. Our baby boy was estimated at 5 lb. 15 oz and our baby girl was estimated at 4 lb. 9 oz. They both grew since our last growth scan, which is the good news, and I am sort of amazed that I have over 10 pounds of baby growing in me. I would be having a rather large singleton me thinks.

I have had some visitors, care packages, and phone calls that lift my spirits. Another great thing about this week is that Mr. BKL is home on spring break. Wild times for him! Poor guy is on baby watch, not to mention having to take care of my lazy bum. He has been making dinner each night, cleaning, setting up baby gear, doing laundry, washing bottles....all the things I wish I could be doing. It's hard to sit and not help prepare all these things. I get a lot of people asking if we need anything (and thank you for that!), but honestly he is taking care of everything we need. Not unlike during "normal life" where we share household chores equally.

In other news, I can see my ankle bones and veins in my feet again. I never thought I would appreciate my bony feet as much as I do. I can't tell if my calves have already lost muscle or they look small because I was so used to being puffy. The vain part of me also wonders if I am actually losing muscle. It will be a long road back to my former fitness levels. I want to be strong and healthy and set a good example for my kids. In due time.

Got any good time wasters for me?

A week can change your world

2012-03-27T07:36:00.001-07:00

This past week started like any other. I got home on Monday and since I was sporting a new maternity top and had a fresh 'do thanks to my sister in law, I had Mr. BKL take my photo for my belly progress series. I got changed and was about to head out on a walk, and saw I had missed a call from my Dad. To keep things succinct, he basically told me my Grandpa (mom's dad) was not doing well and was not expected to make it through the night. He hadn't been doing great in recent weeks, but this was still unexpected. I of course had a hard time hearing this news, but started praying and hoping for him to be in comfort. My parents did not want me driving to see him "in my condition" and at first it was hard to not drop everything to get there, but I eventually saw their reasoning.

The next morning my Mom said that he had passed over night. I immediately wished I could have been there to say goodbye, but had to let go. Fortunately work was busy and provided distraction. I had started my weekly appointments the week before and had a series of them on Thursday, but planned to go to the wake that afternoon and the funeral on Friday. The best laid plans...

At my appointment, we watched the babies via ultrasound in what is called a biophysical profile. The babies have to pass certain "tests". They both did great and we even saw baby girl has some hair on her head. I can't wait to see it. After that, I had a non-stress test. In this one, fetal monitors are hooked up to my belly to watch heart rates and movement as well as for contractions. Again, things went well. The babies did great. A few contractions were detected, but just the usual Braxton Hicks type I had been having hear and there for a while now. Finally, after all this, I saw my NP for the usual blood pressure, measuring, etc. I had asked her to make sure it was okay for me to travel the hour+ to the wake and funeral that day, and it wouldn't be a problem. She also did a cervical check. After how well things were going I almost didn't hear her say there was a lot of pressure from Baby A and I was effaced and had to go on bed rest immediately.

I am sure I turned white with terror and tears came to my eyes easily. It had been an emotional week already so, I was already on edge. I asked if I could still go to the funeral if I promised to sit...she said no, you have to lay down. She was comforting and consoling, but I was a bit of a mess. I tried to hold it together. I went straight home and once I got there let the tears really fly. I couldn't fathom missing my Grandpa's funeral and being with my family at such an important time. I worried about how to tell my Mom because of all she was dealing with and with what I know is constant worry about me and the babies. I worried about work - how is anyone possibly going to take over for me already? So much has to be done. I worried about money. I was upset at the prospect of losing my planned 12 weeks of leave with my babies by having to spend some of it on the couch alone instead of caring for them starting our journey as a family of four.

Once I had calmed down enough, I called my Mom. Of course, she was a pillar of strength and helped me by reassuring me that everything will be okay. Grandpa knows this is best and he is watching down on us now. As time went on that afternoon I did a lot of praying. My Dad always knows the right things to say. He told me that everything happens for a reason. The appointments I had that day were a sign that something was happening and we had to try to slow it down for the babies sake. It took me a while, but I am starting to see it now.

I think I was in denial that I hadn't been feeling great that day. I had more pressure than usual, more contractions and back pain than usual, was more nauseous and uncomfortable. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t had those appointments.

On Friday, I had a follow up test called a Fetal Fibronectin test. Fetal fibronectin attaches the amniotic sac to the uterus. If it's present near the cervix, it can indicate preterm labor is eminent 60% of the time. Not exactly a sure thing, but a positive test indicates again, that something is happening.

You know where this is going, right? Yep, my test was positive. I was also now 1 cm dilated. When I got the call back that my results were positive, I had to go back to get part one of a two course steroid shot intended to give the babies' lungs more maturity. It's often given any time pre-term labor has started before 34 weeks from my understanding. I was also given a prescription to help calm down contractions.
Once again, the emotions were overwhelming. I was suddenly scared that my babies could be arriving, and all too soon. I finally felt good on Saturday despite some trouble sleeping. I am hoping it's the shots and drugs that are waking me. My body is definitely responding to the rest it's finally getting. Part two of the shot was given on Saturday at the hospital. We also did another non-stress test and all was well with the babies' heart rates.

My spirits were lifted on Saturday as well as my parents came to visit as well as some amazing friends. They brought me the best care package ever. See if you can guess the theme:

My friends are awesome.

So, what next? Well, I lay around and do nothing which is mentally the hardest thing I've had to do. I would rather run a 1/2 marathon every day then be forced to lay around and not help around the house, cook, clean, earn money aka work, and generally prepare for our babies' arrival.

There is no real research that indicates bed rest slows down impending labor. A lot of doctors and health care professionals use it because it's really all that you can do and really, what can it hurt? Gravity can be your enemy sometimes. Of course I have thought about the petty things like how this will affect my own body and how much harder it will be to get my physical strength and endurance back. I was hopeful that my walking was giving me some cardio benefits. I try not to think too long on that though. Right now, my body is not mine and I have the rest of my life to get back into shape. It's sole purpose for the next few weeks is growing two babies.

I know that in time, everything that has happened this past week will seem like a small part of time in my life. I can never get back being able to say goodbye to my Grandpa, but I have a feeling he had something to do with what happened to me this week. I think he was looking out for us. And I know he is still watching over and will continue to watch over the whole family - in utero or not. I was lucky to have grown up close to my grandparents so we saw them often. They babysat us all the time. Grandpa pushed us on the swings, played ball with us, taught me how to play solitaire, built me beautiful toys with his woodworking skills including my beloved doll house, and he set an example of what being a true Christian means. My Grandparents were at almost every dance show (my early years...don't laugh), piano recital, and sporting event of mine growing up. Besides my parents, they were our biggest fans. My Grandpa loved sports. He hardly missed a Minnesota Twins game. He was a mechanic his whole life and loved cars. When he retired, he would transport cars between dealerships around the region. Him and my Grandma would often make day trips out of his drives. He loved being on the road. There is more I could say about what a great man my Grandpa was, but he touched so many lives and has a large family to be proud of.

I know this post is rather unorganized, but I guess my thoughts are also a bit scattered this week. I am sure I will have more musings on bed rest and the rest of this journey that is carrying and birthing twins as time goes on.