Bees Knees Life

By the numbers

2012-05-15T15:57:00.001-07:00

As expected, blogging has taken a very far back seat to the goings-on in my life. It’s amazing how two little people can require so much work. I am sure mothers of one baby say the same.

Things have been going fairly smoothly so far mostly because I haven’t been alone. Mr. BKL had to return to work last week, and my Mom was fortunate enough to take two weeks off from her own job (and her life!) to come help us. I will be forever grateful. I also get to see just how lucky the babes are to have such an amazing Grandma in their life. She seems to love them as much as I do if that’s possible.

I thought I would write up a summation of my life the past 3 weeks with some numbers.

Pounds gained during pregnancy: 53 (7 of which came in the last week alone, a side effect of the pre-eclampsia)

Pounds lost by 12 days post partum: 40 (in other words, I had retained a LOT of water)

Pounds away from pre-pregnancy weight: 10

Beers consumed: Just enough to keep me sane and not enough to interfere with feeding. It’s a tricky balance.

Diapers changed in a day: 16+

Loads of baby laundry each day: 1-2

Doctors visits for the babies: 5

Feedings per 24 hours: 7-8

And now for some gratuitous baby photos….

Baby Girl

Baby Boy

Let me help you with that.

Oh Hai there. (Baby Girl)

Baby Boy

Baby Boy and Mom

No biting!

My first Mother's Day. Under eye bags included!

The Twins Birth Story

2012-04-29T12:17:00.001-07:00

Note: For the sake of privacy, I am not going to mention our babies’ names for now. I will call them Baby Boy and Baby Girl, and as always, my husband is Mr. BKL.

When we left off, I posted my 36 week update. Things were hanging steady being on bed rest. The following week, at 36 weeks 6 days, I had my usual Thursday appointments. My blood pressure was up a little and I had gained 7 pounds in a week. Holy fluid retention! I was puffy, but that’s a lot of water. After some lab work, it turned out I had a mild case of pre-eclampsia. My doctor called me on Friday afternoon around 5:00pm to tell me the news and that I should head over to the hospital to be induced. ZOMG! Mr. BKL and I scurried about the house getting things ready, even though we had our bags packed it was still a shock. I took a shower and we headed to the hospital.

Upon admitting, they got me all hooked up to the bane of my existence, the fetal monitors. You have to wear one for the baby and one for contractions, so I had three. We got moved into our room and luckily had a large one. That evening they started a drug called cervidil to get my cervix ready. I didn’t sleep a wink that first night because of the contractions caused my the cervidil and it was fairly painful. (little did I know what was to come) Between the cervidil and the 3 monitors, getting up to use the restroom was a chore. I had to take the monitors with me and would often move one inadvertently and the nurse would have to come back and get them all working again. Uggh.

I was told we would start pitocin early in the morning. Well, early morning turned into 10:30am by the time the Dr. came to see me. So now, I had 3 fetal monitors and an IV tower to take with me into the bathroom. FUN. I have to give credit to Mr. BKL for helping me get unhooked, out of bed, and hooked in again.

Around 5:00 pm, the Dr. once more came in to check my progress and unfortunately not much had been made. He said we would break the membranes on Baby A to get things moving. And move they did, as well as continue to jack up my pitocin. It only took about 15 minutes before I started feeling contractions come on. They got harder and faster by the second. My nurse said that I could get my epidural at any point and to give her 30 minutes to get it ready. I said I would try to tough it out a little longer because I wanted to make progress. Well, I think I made it to about 5:40 before I had to call her. I started feeling them in my back and they were coming almost every two minutes. She started getting things ready and called the anesthesiologist. Things got progressively worse for me and I was really having to focus and breathe through them. She would push on my back really hard to help with the back labor, but it really didn’t help. I was getting to the point where I was making noises I didn’t know I could make. I kept asking how much longer for the epidural, and she kept saying “soon”. The anesthesiologist was busy that night. (I never asked, but at one point I saw a screen that had all the active labors on it and I think there were about 10.)

By 7pm I was having keeping my breathing under control despite my best efforts. Contractions were coming every two minutes or faster and I was getting no break from them. In a moment of weakness, I accepted fentonyl. I didn’t want to take extra drugs that I didn’t have to for the babies sake, but I was having trouble keeping my breathing under control with the pain. (I was also mad at myself for not researching what it was before heading into my birth. So begins the mommy guilt…right?) It did help me relax some and took the edge off. This was key since each contraction I was having caused my legs to tremor uncontrollably, so I was nervous about holding still during the epidural.

Finally, by 7:30 the anesthesiologist appeared. I finally felt relief! I had no idea how crazy the contractions would be. I tip my hat to all women who do this whole thing without an epidural. I am pretty sure I would have passed out due to lack of oxygen if I would have kept going. The good news is that in those two hours, I went from 2cm dilated to 4cm dilated.

After the epidural, I tried to get comfortable because I have heard it can slow labor slightly. Well, the comfort didn’t last long before I started to feel intense pressure and an urge to push. The pain was numbed, but the pressure was very prominent. A little before 9, I told my nurse about this and she then deemed we were almost ready to start pushing. WHAT??? It had only been 4 hours of contracting. Okay then.

Since I was having twins, I would be delivering in the OR because of the increased risk of a c-section being necessary. We started pushing in our room first, then they wheeled me down to the OR. Mr. BKL donned some sweet scrubs, and we were off. We paused for one quick photo before we left.

The OR was bright, cold and full of people. I was placed into a new bed with large footrests, making me on display for all the world to see if you know what I mean. There were 8 people in the room. The funniest part was the resident following my Dr. who was very focused on what was going on. His face was one of serious study. Glad I could be an instrument of medical teaching, friend.

With lots of pushing and screams, Baby Girl arrived at 9:44pm weighing 5 pounds 4 ounces. She was beautiful! She was a little pale and was below the minimum weight to not go into the Special Care Nursery (level 2 NICU), so she was whisked off. It was awful seeing her being taken away like that. I tried to relax knowing I had to do this all over again, and even said “I have to do this again?” out loud. Mr. BKL says the way I asked that was the best thing I said during the whole process.

The last few pushes getting her out were tough. My epidural was still working though, so I didn’t experience the pain that was to come. Knowing she was the smaller of the two babies, I was nervous about Baby Boy’s arrival. My contractions come to a near halt, and pitocin was once again increased. I started to feel the contractions more and more as time went on. It took a good hour and a 1/2 before I started pushing hard again, and by then, I was started to feel every contraction. Legs shaking about this whole time, mind you even though I wasn’t cold. Before we went down to the OR I had a fleeting thought…what if my babies are born on different days?

Around 11:30, the pain was starting to become intense and I was having trouble breathing through each contraction. In some confusion, the anesthesiologist was called down to give me a bolus to my epidural (a boost), but for some reason he came and went without giving me more. At this point, i was having trouble not screaming each time to push. I worked so hard to get him out, but he started to get stuck. I got nervous when I saw everyone start scurrying around and asked “What is happening?” NO one answered, but I heard something about suction. The Dr. said we are going to have to assist to get him out. I was sad once again and felt like I was failing. I was feeling pressure, pain and burning, and worked so hard to get him out. Finally, with the suction he appeared. Baby boy was born at 12:02 am weighing 6 pounds 14 ounces. He was so gorgeous and pink, but was having trouble breathing. Most likely from getting stuck and possibly swallowing some fluid. He was also whisked away, and this time Mr. BKL followed to be with our babies.

The hard work was not over yet. Next came the placentas, then came the repair work. I was so sensitive and in pain, each time the Dr. touched me I writhed in pain. They once again offered fentynal, and since the babies were out, was happy to accept any and all drug. Finally the anesthesiologist returned to give me that bolus. I was sort of glad Mr. BKL wasn’t there to witness the aftermath. I think I did more screaming than during delivery since I was feeling the pain. I had 4 small tears that were in good places, so I came out of the whole ordeal pretty unscathed.

The first thing I noticed while laying there was the absence of my belly. It literally disappeared. I could see my ribs again! Granted, I was laying down, but it felt great. (More to come on my post partum bod).

After over an hour of work on me, I was finally transferred to a different bed, clothed, and cleaned up. I was taken back to my room where I would get wheel chaired to the Special Care Nursery to finally hold my babies. I wept when I saw them. Not only because they were in incubators hooked up to IV’s and monitors, but because they were my babies. By the time I got there, they had already done amazingly better. Baby Girl was pink, and Baby Boy’s breathing had gotten under control. They had to spend their first two nights and days in the nursery, but they were in great hands. The nurses were as amazing as can be, between reassuring us and caring for the babies.

We finally got back to our room around 4 for some sleep. I of course slept very little as I was all hopped up on drugs and had just delivered two babies. I got to take a shower though, which was probably the greatest shower ever. I still had to be hooked up to pitocin, but was glad to be rid of the monitors finally.

The next day were were back at the nursery for the babies first feeding. Because they were small and in the nursery we were going to give them formula to get their strength up. They were also on dextrose IV’s, so they were doing well. We did some practicing latching and then fed.

The next two days were a whirlwind of nursery visits, recovering, and finally getting ready to head home. We got the okay to head home on Tuesday around noon. My pride was bursting when we walked through the halls of the hospital with them and seeing people’s reactions to my precious babies. Twins are obviously a fun sight to see.

Coming home was great, but it was a lot of work. We had so much to unpack and prepare for even though, once again, we were pretty ready for them to come home before leaving.

All smiles for Dad

As for the babies, they are definitely individuals. Baby Girl is feisty as ever. She is a better eater than her younger brother and is constantly kicking and flailing her arms about. She always has her legs tucked way up, deeming her the nickname “frogger”. Baby Boy is a little chubbier than his sister and is definitely more temperamental. His burps are something to be heard.

Frog legs

We are slowly adjusting to life at home with two newborns. Of course there is the tiredness of little sleep, but when I do sleep it’s very deep. We feed them both every 3 hours around the clock to continue to get their strength up and to grow. Baby Boy is a little jaundice still, and we are working on getting him less yellowed. Each feeding takes about an hour for me. We practice latching, then feed with bottles (some formula and now more and more milk from Mom!), then change them, then I pump. It’s daunting knowing you have about two hours between each feeding before having to start the whole thing all over again. I am so happy to be able to provide my milk for my babies. We will continue to work on nursing, but for now giving them bottles of my milk is an amazing feeling. With twins, I don’t expect to be able to provide for them solely, and I am okay with that. Any breast milk is better than none. I actually don’t mind pumping since I am such a numbers/goal oriented person, and seeing the increase each time plays to my competitive side. As for me, I am really happy to report my swelling from the pre-eclampsia and pitocin is finally subsiding. I can see my ankles for the first time in weeks! Unfortunately, I can also see a significant loss in muscle in my legs. It will be a lot of work to get back to running and lifting. It was all worth it though….

Baby Boy and Baby Girl checking things out.

In a week I have fallen in love with 3 people. My two babies and the new father of my children. I know it’s cliché, but I didn’t think I could love him more than I did. Obviously the babies go without saying.

Thank you all for all the outpouring of love and support during my pregnancy and now on the birth of our babies.

Hello there!

2012-04-25T09:52:00.001-07:00

We are pleased to meet you. Mom will be back soon to post all about our arrival over the weekend.

36 week update

2012-04-17T09:57:00.001-07:00

So here I am, still pregnant at 36 weeks and change with twins. I wasn’t sure I would make it this far. You just never know. There are so many complications that can arise. Fortunately for me, my pre-term labor scare was just that, a scare. I am so glad I took the proper precautions though. I am glad the babies stayed put and continued to develop.

Now? I am ready for them to arrive. I am so ready to not be pregnant anymore. Things hurt. Moving in any capacity is a challenge, and driving sucks. I do have some good news though, I am no longer on bed rest. Don’t be too happy for me though. All those things I mentioned above? Pretty much keep me from moving too far from home. Granted it’s not been a day yet. I am going to ease into daily walks (short ones!) and doing a few more things around home. Just because I am not on strict bed rest doesn't mean I can go out and start training for my next 1/2 marathon. (Wouldn’t that be nice though?)

So, basically we wait for labor to start or, in less than 2 weeks we would schedule an induction or c-section. So, as far away as that seems, the end is in sight!

I took photos for this post but I just can’t bring myself to post them. I assure you I am big. Bigger than last time. Why I thought it was a good idea to take pictures first thing in the morning is beyond me. So for now, I am keeping them for myself to look back on in shock and awe. To be fair, I don’t think I look freaky huge. Yet. If this thing goes on for two more weeks, we might reach circus side show status.

As for the babies, a week ago they were estimated to be 4 pounds 13 ounces and 6 pounds 11 ounces. Our little boy is continuing to put on the lb’s! They are both within acceptable ranges and are simply different humans and are different sizes. I am hoping at this point baby girl is over 5 pounds. We won’t really know until they come out into the world, as ultrasound measurements can be off by quite a bit especially late in the game.

36 week stats:

Weeks along: 36 weeks and a few days
Weight gain: Still in the 40+ range. Hoping to stay under 50, but I don’t have much control over that anymore.
Symptoms: General uncomfortable-ness. Frequent trips to the bathroom at night. Not being able to sit upright.
Workout status: Zilch, but hoping to do a little walking as long as I have the energy.
Eats: I wasn’t doing any cooking the past few weeks, so I got what I was given. Luckily, my husband enjoys cooking and is good at it. I have way less room for food, though. I get full fast.
Cravings: None still.
Clothing: I am pretty much living in sweats and t-shirts these days. I have a handful of maternity t-shirts and tanks I wear on my big outings to the doctor. Otherwise I generally look pretty ridiculous.

Baby Watch - Week 2

2012-04-03T15:04:00.002-07:00

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Welp, it's been 13 days on bed rest. Not that I am counting or anything.

Obviously, there isn't much to report in the way of blog fodder. I can't think of much else in life that would procure less interesting blog posts. Prison? Nah, even that would be more interesting.

My big excursion last week was to go to my doctors appointments. Fortunately, no news is good news. Our baby boy was estimated at 5 lb. 15 oz and our baby girl was estimated at 4 lb. 9 oz. They both grew since our last growth scan, which is the good news, and I am sort of amazed that I have over 10 pounds of baby growing in me. I would be having a rather large singleton me thinks.

I have had some visitors, care packages, and phone calls that lift my spirits. Another great thing about this week is that Mr. BKL is home on spring break. Wild times for him! Poor guy is on baby watch, not to mention having to take care of my lazy bum. He has been making dinner each night, cleaning, setting up baby gear, doing laundry, washing bottles....all the things I wish I could be doing. It's hard to sit and not help prepare all these things. I get a lot of people asking if we need anything (and thank you for that!), but honestly he is taking care of everything we need. Not unlike during "normal life" where we share household chores equally.

In other news, I can see my ankle bones and veins in my feet again. I never thought I would appreciate my bony feet as much as I do. I can't tell if my calves have already lost muscle or they look small because I was so used to being puffy. The vain part of me also wonders if I am actually losing muscle. It will be a long road back to my former fitness levels. I want to be strong and healthy and set a good example for my kids. In due time.

Got any good time wasters for me?

A week can change your world

2012-03-27T07:36:00.001-07:00

This past week started like any other. I got home on Monday and since I was sporting a new maternity top and had a fresh 'do thanks to my sister in law, I had Mr. BKL take my photo for my belly progress series. I got changed and was about to head out on a walk, and saw I had missed a call from my Dad. To keep things succinct, he basically told me my Grandpa (mom's dad) was not doing well and was not expected to make it through the night. He hadn't been doing great in recent weeks, but this was still unexpected. I of course had a hard time hearing this news, but started praying and hoping for him to be in comfort. My parents did not want me driving to see him "in my condition" and at first it was hard to not drop everything to get there, but I eventually saw their reasoning.

The next morning my Mom said that he had passed over night. I immediately wished I could have been there to say goodbye, but had to let go. Fortunately work was busy and provided distraction. I had started my weekly appointments the week before and had a series of them on Thursday, but planned to go to the wake that afternoon and the funeral on Friday. The best laid plans...

At my appointment, we watched the babies via ultrasound in what is called a biophysical profile. The babies have to pass certain "tests". They both did great and we even saw baby girl has some hair on her head. I can't wait to see it. After that, I had a non-stress test. In this one, fetal monitors are hooked up to my belly to watch heart rates and movement as well as for contractions. Again, things went well. The babies did great. A few contractions were detected, but just the usual Braxton Hicks type I had been having hear and there for a while now. Finally, after all this, I saw my NP for the usual blood pressure, measuring, etc. I had asked her to make sure it was okay for me to travel the hour+ to the wake and funeral that day, and it wouldn't be a problem. She also did a cervical check. After how well things were going I almost didn't hear her say there was a lot of pressure from Baby A and I was effaced and had to go on bed rest immediately.

I am sure I turned white with terror and tears came to my eyes easily. It had been an emotional week already so, I was already on edge. I asked if I could still go to the funeral if I promised to sit...she said no, you have to lay down. She was comforting and consoling, but I was a bit of a mess. I tried to hold it together. I went straight home and once I got there let the tears really fly. I couldn't fathom missing my Grandpa's funeral and being with my family at such an important time. I worried about how to tell my Mom because of all she was dealing with and with what I know is constant worry about me and the babies. I worried about work - how is anyone possibly going to take over for me already? So much has to be done. I worried about money. I was upset at the prospect of losing my planned 12 weeks of leave with my babies by having to spend some of it on the couch alone instead of caring for them starting our journey as a family of four.

Once I had calmed down enough, I called my Mom. Of course, she was a pillar of strength and helped me by reassuring me that everything will be okay. Grandpa knows this is best and he is watching down on us now. As time went on that afternoon I did a lot of praying. My Dad always knows the right things to say. He told me that everything happens for a reason. The appointments I had that day were a sign that something was happening and we had to try to slow it down for the babies sake. It took me a while, but I am starting to see it now.

I think I was in denial that I hadn't been feeling great that day. I had more pressure than usual, more contractions and back pain than usual, was more nauseous and uncomfortable. I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t had those appointments.

On Friday, I had a follow up test called a Fetal Fibronectin test. Fetal fibronectin attaches the amniotic sac to the uterus. If it's present near the cervix, it can indicate preterm labor is eminent 60% of the time. Not exactly a sure thing, but a positive test indicates again, that something is happening.

You know where this is going, right? Yep, my test was positive. I was also now 1 cm dilated. When I got the call back that my results were positive, I had to go back to get part one of a two course steroid shot intended to give the babies' lungs more maturity. It's often given any time pre-term labor has started before 34 weeks from my understanding. I was also given a prescription to help calm down contractions.
Once again, the emotions were overwhelming. I was suddenly scared that my babies could be arriving, and all too soon. I finally felt good on Saturday despite some trouble sleeping. I am hoping it's the shots and drugs that are waking me. My body is definitely responding to the rest it's finally getting. Part two of the shot was given on Saturday at the hospital. We also did another non-stress test and all was well with the babies' heart rates.

My spirits were lifted on Saturday as well as my parents came to visit as well as some amazing friends. They brought me the best care package ever. See if you can guess the theme:

My friends are awesome.

So, what next? Well, I lay around and do nothing which is mentally the hardest thing I've had to do. I would rather run a 1/2 marathon every day then be forced to lay around and not help around the house, cook, clean, earn money aka work, and generally prepare for our babies' arrival.

There is no real research that indicates bed rest slows down impending labor. A lot of doctors and health care professionals use it because it's really all that you can do and really, what can it hurt? Gravity can be your enemy sometimes. Of course I have thought about the petty things like how this will affect my own body and how much harder it will be to get my physical strength and endurance back. I was hopeful that my walking was giving me some cardio benefits. I try not to think too long on that though. Right now, my body is not mine and I have the rest of my life to get back into shape. It's sole purpose for the next few weeks is growing two babies.

I know that in time, everything that has happened this past week will seem like a small part of time in my life. I can never get back being able to say goodbye to my Grandpa, but I have a feeling he had something to do with what happened to me this week. I think he was looking out for us. And I know he is still watching over and will continue to watch over the whole family - in utero or not. I was lucky to have grown up close to my grandparents so we saw them often. They babysat us all the time. Grandpa pushed us on the swings, played ball with us, taught me how to play solitaire, built me beautiful toys with his woodworking skills including my beloved doll house, and he set an example of what being a true Christian means. My Grandparents were at almost every dance show (my early years...don't laugh), piano recital, and sporting event of mine growing up. Besides my parents, they were our biggest fans. My Grandpa loved sports. He hardly missed a Minnesota Twins game. He was a mechanic his whole life and loved cars. When he retired, he would transport cars between dealerships around the region. Him and my Grandma would often make day trips out of his drives. He loved being on the road. There is more I could say about what a great man my Grandpa was, but he touched so many lives and has a large family to be proud of.

I know this post is rather unorganized, but I guess my thoughts are also a bit scattered this week. I am sure I will have more musings on bed rest and the rest of this journey that is carrying and birthing twins as time goes on.

33 weeks

2012-03-26T09:08:00.001-07:00

I fully intended to write up a 32 week update, but time came and went and before I knew it I was getting my Baby Center 33 week email.

So, things have definitely changed in the past couple weeks. I am not one to complain about this absurd spring we've been having, but heat and humidity do not play nice with very pregnant women. At least not this one. My ankles, calves, and face were super swollen pretty much all the time. Shoes? Not cool. Even flip flops hurt. Actually any foot wear is not my friend. I don't think my feet have actually grown in length, which can happen in pregnancy, they have just puffed up.

In all honesty, besides wanting to constantly soak my feet in cold ice water by about 2:30 at work each day, and being generally large and uncomfortable, it hasn't been all that bad. I still don't have many complaints.

On the home front, things are shaping up. I feel like we could bring home two babies and they would have what they and we need. No matter what we do to prepare, I know that nothing in the world - gear, books, toys, a bigger house - will prepare us for what we are about to experience. On the to-do list is installing the car seats, some more baby laundry, attempting to make sense of my breast pump, and setting up the "baby stations" which for now are setting up a pack and play in our living room and the Fisher Price Rock n Plays in our bedroom where I hope to have the babies sleep for their first few weeks at home with us. Nothing that can't be done in a few hours though.

In reality, the babies could arrive at any time now. Twins are commonly born around 36-37 weeks. I want to hold on as long as possible so they can be big and healthy, but the reality is my body will be done when it's done, and there isn't much we can do so stop nature. 34 weeks is a milestone for lung development, so from here on out each week will be a victory.

The babies are growing very well! Our little man isn't so little. He is ahead of gestational age for even a singleton. Ultrasound growth scans are simply estimates, but it's still a good sign. At our last growth scan at 32 weeks, he was estimated to be 4lb. 11 oz and our little lady was 3 lb. 12. oz. She's so demure already. She has been smaller than him the whole time so far, but both have grown
proportionately, and that's all that matters. They are two different babies and just happen to be growing in my belly at the same time. Like I mentioned, with over an estimated 8 pounds of baby in my belly, my body might not let me keep them until 38-40 weeks. I have genetics on my side as bigger babies run in the family and I was 8lb. 6 oz. myself. Here's hoping!

On to the deets:

This is my manic Monday face.

33 week stats:

Weeks along: 33 weeks and a few days
Weight gain: 40+ pounds...whoa nelly
Symptoms: Babies are hiccupping a lot! Weird and cool at the same time. I have a lot of swelling like I mentioned. I haven't seen any stretch marks yet, which would be a true miracle if I end up with little to none. Lots of night time restroom trips. All to be expected.
Workout status: Made it on a few walks in the nice weather, but resting is of most priority right now. Especially after a long work day.
Eats: Trying to avoid sodium and eat lots of protein to help the babes keep growing. At this point I am not hungry much so eating has become something of a chore. Never in my life did I see this one coming.
Cravings: Nothing definite still.
Clothing: Limited to maternity tops, tanks, and pants. Luckily I can still wear my beloved sweats (all 5 pairs of my VS Pink boyfriend sweats) just below the belly comfortably. I am wearing more of Mr. BKL's t-shirts with the sweats and for bed, and even some of those are tight.

30 weeks with twins

2012-03-05T16:45:00.001-08:00

I have been looking forward to hitting 30 weeks for quite a while now. You may have noticed I was doing every two week updates, but decided to wait for this milestone to post again. I've been a bad blogger, that's for sure. Not much to talk about besides ZOMG BABIES, and we all know there are plenty of blogs out there to get your fill of that. Not as many with twins though, amirite??? ;)

So as you will see in the photos below, I am growing A LOT each week. This belly is getting harder to manage. I recently bought another maternity support belt for daily use. I had bought a Gabrialla a while back for running, which turned into walking, but it's a bit bulky to wear under clothes. The newest is the Pretnatal Cradle Mini. Check out the sweet perm on the model:

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Maybe it's not a perm. In fact, now that I look at it closer, I bet I could duplicate that 'do pretty easily with my curls. The unitard/singlet? Might be harder to find. I've only worn it two days so far, so I can't comment on how effective it is. I am hoping it takes some of the pressure off my pelvic region at work - even though I have a desk job, I do walk to the restroom often and have quite a few flights of stairs to contend with each day. I haven't succumbed to the elevator yet, although I am definitely out of breath something fierce after that 5 flight climb each morning.

Update: After 4 days of use, my ankles and feet are a lot less swollen.

I have recently given up trying to wear non-maternity shirts. They don't quite cover the mass as they should. I also don't want to buy more maternity clothes right now, so I need to become okay with wearing a lot of repeat outfits week after week. (My personal standard is to not wear the same thing two weeks in a row....I have no idea where I came up with this.)

The babies are definitely on the move. Their kicks, punches, and rolls (?) don't hurt at all, but baby B (boy) likes to get up all in my ribs some evenings and I have to adjust the way I am sitting to get more comfortable. Again, it doesn't hurt, just feels uncomfortable.

I wasn't delusional in thinking having babies wasn't work, but there are a lot of little things that you don't think of right away that have to get done (your lists may vary) before they arrive for the most part. Things like figuring out a baptism strategy, attending classes, visiting labor and delivery at the hospital, coordinating with HR at work, doing laundry and getting organized, researching sleep training, finding a pediatrician, figuring out how to not leave my work projects in complete disorder for when I am gone, oh and the daycare situation. Holy hell is that overwhelming. Anyone want to come be a nanny for twins? For free? I kid. Sort of.

I figure I have about 8 weeks/2 months to go at the most before baby day. I lot of twins are born between 35-37 weeks. Only time will tell, and until then, I want to be prepared. I have this frightening image of my water breaking at work, so I plan to pack a bag to keep in my car just in case.

Here’s the latest….

The front view is decidedly less dramatic.

30 week stats:

Weeks along: 30 weeks and 3 days
Weight gain: Most likely over 30 pounds.
Symptoms: Active babies, tiredness, some aches, thirst, some swelling.
Workout status: Keeping up the walks. It’s still going well.
Eats: I have been rather ambivalent to cooking and exploring food still. I still feel like I am eating pretty decent. I have ice cream occasionally and weekly pizza, but that is pretty standard fare.
Cravings: Still no cravings that I can tell. It’s a good thing I guess.
Clothing: My wardrobe is definitely becoming more limited. I am pretty sure I can make it to the end with what I have. (Don’t tell Mr. BKL I said that.)

27 weeks

2012-02-16T15:20:00.001-08:00

Marching towards 30 one day at a time. For some reason 30 weeks will feel like a big milestone. I also should mention that I sort of glossed over another 30 milestone...as in 30 years. My day of birth is 2/1. I had a post planned, but it was very much the opposite of monumental. I was actually excited to be 30, probably because of what this year brings for me.

My twenties were awesome. I did what most people do in their 20's...meet an awesome person to spend life with, graduate college, get married, and buy a house. The unexpected things in there were being unemployed for almost a year and of course, finding out our planned pregnancy was twice as nice. I had a lot of fun in my twenties, and while some days I think a night out on the town or doing crazy college aged person things sounds fun, I have been pretty content being more of a homebody the past few years. I enjoy hanging out with a few friends at someone's house, maybe playing some yard games, and enjoying some BBQ and beers quite a bit. Good thing a lot of my friends are having or have had babies recently so they have some little buddies to hang out with when we get together.

We also made a new purchase that sort of has to do with my birthday, since I used the generous birthday money from our parents towards a new iPad 2.

So far I love it. (Duh). I have a smart phone, which essentially does all the same things, but this is so much more practical. It also helps me indulge my lazy side that I have been embracing lately. I know it will come in hand when the wee ones are here, too. Apparently there is an app for charting feeding times, ounces fed, diaper changes, sleep, etc. The more you know I guess.

In pregnancy news, fortunately since the last time we spoke I haven't had any bad bouts of heartburn. ::knocks on wood:: Not sure what it was all about, but I have a feeling it may return.
My biggest gripe this week is what would at any other time in life be a run of the mill head cold. This time though, having a cold while pregnant has really taken it's toll. Each "phase" seems to be lasting double the time. I think I am now over the beginning "feel like death" phase, but have moved into the annoying sneezing, stuffy nose, congestion phase. Also, according to my beloved, I have been snoring in my sleep. As far as I know, I have never snored. The combination of no breathing room, and no breathing passages must be to blame. I feel so attractive right now.

On a brighter note, I had my first baby shower this past weekend. I am beyond blessed with such amazing friends and family. My friends hosted a brunch with amazing food, decor, and great times. The babies got some great gifts, too. They are spoiled already. Two of my good friends are also pregnant and one is due in a little over a month. We are about 6 weeks apart, and here is how our bellies compare. She is all baby and has the cutest bump:

I think it's fun to see how different women carry their babies during pregnancy. My bump seems to just be all over, while hers is a little lower.

Another thing that keeps me in awe is that really, at any point from now on I could start to have complications like pre-term labor. Many Mom's of multiples are put on bed rest already at this point. I am still feelings so, so lucky to still be working full time and for the most part pretty good 90% of the time. My blood pressure is still low, and my aches and pains are relatively mild.

Today we had a growth scan and check up with the Perinatology clinic. We got great news all around. Both babies are head down and they are growing well. Only time will tell if they will stay head down, but it’s a good start!

Do these stripes make me look fat? ;)

27week stats:

Weeks along: 27and 6 days
Weight gain: I think I am nearing 30 pounds already. Lord help me. Luckily, I passed my gestational diabetes test.
Symptoms: Active babies, tiredness, some aches, thirst, and I think I am starting to waddle slightly. Workout status: Keeping up the walks. Besides my week off from being sick, walking is going well. reading on the iPad is really nice and helps pass the time.
Eats: Same old. I still like the things I did pre-pregnancy just as much.
Cravings: Still no cravings that I can tell. It’s a good thing I guess.
Clothing: Starting to run out of options for things like pajamas and workout shirts. My usual T-shirts are coming up short. Literally. Time to start wearing the extra large variety found in Mr. BKL’s closet.

Pasta Fresca

2012-02-15T16:49:00.001-08:00

Remember when I used to blog about food? That was neat. Well don’t get too excited because I have actually blogged about this one before, but that rendition was for a pre-race meal that I made for myself. I have always loved the Pasta Fresca from Noodles and Co., but didn't think Mr. BKL was a big fan.
Recently, he picked this one out of my recipe binder and we made it for dinner.

It turned out even better the second time and he even loved it. I even got to have tomatoes in it. I don't love tomatoes, but I do liked soft sweet ones in pastas like this. He on the other hand, does not like tomatoes in any shape or form.

It's a very simple recipe, really. You get some greens in the way of spinach and using wheat pasta will up your nutrition factor. We used frozen shrimp from Costco, which for this worked just fine.
One difference this time between the last time I made this was the wine. The first time I had 1/2 a bottle of sauvignon blanc that had been opened the day before. (When the recipe calls for 3 tablespoons of wine, you are totally justified in opening a new bottle. You have my permission.) Well this time I broke down and bought white cooking wine from the grocery store. Boo. The joy of cooking with wine is enjoying a glass while you cook, no? Since I would be the only one to drink it, I decided not to buy a bottle for this occasion.

Regardless of your preferred alcohol cooking method, this recipe turns out well.

Click here for the recipe from Gimme Some Oven. Be sure to top with copious amounts of feta cheese.

Someday I will cook food in the daylight so my camera can really shine.

25 weeks

2012-02-02T17:01:00.001-08:00

As of this posting, I am almost 26 weeks now, but I like odd numbers better, and since the picture is from 25, I am sticking with that.

I feel like I am hugely pregnant these days. When I catch a glimpse of myself in a reflection, I am pretty bumptastic. As to be expected with twins I guess.

My little duo continue to impress me with their activity. It doesn’t hurt yet, but I swear they are switching positions constantly. It’s all very alien like…especially when I feel their bodies turning around through the outside. I love feeling them move and only wish I knew who was doing what and when.

My biggest gripe as of this week is heartburn. Apparently what I thought was heartburn in the past was clearly not. Wow…does it hurt. Doesn’t seem to come from certain foods, just starts up around 3:30 in the afternoon. Ever the investigator, I am hoping I can figure out what makes it worse some days than others. Empty stomach maybe?

Other lesser gripes include dull back aches, some swelling at my ankles, tiredness, and just getting more and more uncomfortable in daily life. Putting on socks downright sucks. I am very happy I won’t be pregnant over the summer, but flip flops sound lovely right now.

Once again though, I really can’t complain. Even though I’ve never done this before, I really don’t feel all that bad 80% of the time.

Another thing that is lifting my spirits this week is actually working 8 hour days. The 50+ hour work weeks were really taking a toll on my body and my mind. I am hoping the lightened workload will stay with me until my final days at work.

25 weeks

25 week stats
Weeks along: 25 and 6 days
Weight gain: We’ll see on Monday at my next appointment. Definitely haven’t been losing! I will also find out if I need to call Wilford Brimely for those testing strips for diabetes.
Symptoms: Heartburn, backaches, tiredness, and active babies!
Running status: Nil. Keeping up the walks. A dear friend borrowed me her Kindle to read The Hunger Games and I love being able to read and walk at the same time. I also lifted twice this week.
Eats: Nothing new here. Still loving sandwiches (yes I am eating deli meat) and chips.
Cravings: Nothing new. I feel like I am missing out on this pregnancy craving thing. Oh well…there’s still time.
Clothing: Testing the stretch limits of all my non-maternity shirts! I am hoping they don’t become permanently stretched out. Some of my actual maternity shirts seem to add so much bulk making me look like a house. I would rather look smaller than bigger thankyouverymuch.

Here’s the whole lineup so far:

I’m Listening

2012-02-01T06:16:00.001-08:00

I admit it. I sometimes roll my eyes when people say "listen to your body." Shelby wrote a great post on the topic, so I won't elaborate because I agree with her for the most part. (Funny enough, this same post was referenced by another awesome runner and new mom last week.) Mostly because my body tells me to do things like drink beer, eat pizza, and watch entire seasons of Mad Men in one sitting. Sometimes it tells me to go running or lift, but I usually have to tell it that with my inner voice.

I also admit I can be bad at "listening" when I probably should be. I have been sick with a simple cold and have turned it into bronchitis or pneumonia many times by not slowing down. I was such a rebellious teenager that I would sneak out to go running when I was sick despite knowing better or when my Mom or Doctor told me not to. Wild times, I tell ya.

I fought it for as long as I could, but I come to tell you with a heavy heart that I am no longer running. I am actually listening to my body and the bodies inside it. (And I was told a week and a half ago by one of my doctors to limit activity to walking and swimming). The first week of January, I really slowed down. I was running about 3 miles at 5.0 mph on the treadmill or about 10:00 minute miles outside 3-4 times a week. Problem was, that right after Christmas, the slight achy feeling that I would always feel after my runs was getting worse. It lasted through until the next day, which would then cause me to not run two days in a row. I made the difficult decision to stop on what was one of the warmest weeks of January on record. Figures. Seeing all the tweets and blog posts about glorious long runs in shorts in January made me green with envy. Of course it would happen that the winter I am not training for a race is one of the mildest I can recall.

I think the hardest part about giving it up is knowing how long it will be until I can pick it up again. Best case scenario I would be back running beginning of June. I often cross over my beloved running trail in my car and get nostalgic. I think about last winter and how I was often the sole inhabitant for miles on end. Just me, the cold, my music, and one foot in front of the other.

This will definitely be the longest stretch of my life since about age 13 without running. I broke my foot in college and was out for about 2 months. They always say you don't know what you have until it's gone. I definitely took for granted the ease and freedom at which I could lace up, grab my tunes, and head out the door essentially whenever I wanted. Maybe I am mourning not only my weekly mileage but also the ease at which I could go out and do it.

For now, it's treadmill walking and some lifting. My goal is to walk 2.5 miles 3-4 times a week and lift 2 times a week. For the most part it's been happening. After some 10 hour workdays, it hasn't. Once it get's a little nicer out, I will move my walks back outside. The one nice thing about the treadmill is I can walk at an incline to get the heart rate a little higher.

Knowing my luck, I'm sure we will have an amazingly warm spring that will make me even more envious. But don't feel too sorry for me. I have been incredibly lucky during this pregnancy so far. It's almost 25 weeks and besides getting more tired and more back aches, I have had it pretty darn good.

See you soon, finish line.

Room and Board

2012-01-18T16:18:00.001-08:00

When I tell people we are having twins, usually the conversation turns to how we will need twice as much stuff. This isn’t always true, but there are some big things you need two of.

Car seats:

Cribs:

And time will tell on other things like swings, bouncy seats, etc. A lot of times one baby will like one thing, but the other won’t. Shocking right? They are individuals, how dare they.

Since we have a limited amount of space to work with, we are trying to keep things simple. Their room isn’t complete, but I wanted to share the progress so far. We picked out a bold green color before we knew it was twins or what sex they were. Luckily, this has still worked out well.

There is a long probably weird story that goes a long with pandas and Mr. BKL and I, but we started an inside joke that had to do with pandas years ago. (Does any couples’ inside jokes not seem stupid when you have to explain them? Exactly why I wont’ try) It seemed fitting when I found some wall decals on Etsy from this seller, Lulukuku.

I emailed the seller and made a few mods, and she was great to work with. Here is what we ended up with after using some creativity and departing slightly from the original design.

The whole wall in view without the cribs in place.

And with the cribs in place.

The paint color is Behr Sparkling Apple. It is as bright as you are imagining. These shots were taken at night, so the color varied a little depending on where I was standing.

Cribs are Ikea Sundvik in white. Before they arrive, we plan to get a large black rug, a similar in style changing table from Ikea, and a small, dim lamp for those nighttime feedings and changes. On the two blank walls you can see in the photos, I want to do some kind of collage or montage with their names, photos, and other fun images for each baby. But that may come with time as their personalities start to come through. I think a light, airy mobile would be fun and I am looking for DIY ideas or on Etsy for something that would fit.

What you don’t see in the photos is opposite the panda wall is a large wardrobe that will hopefully house all their clothes, diapers, books, and toys.

More to come!

23 weeks

2012-01-16T16:57:00.001-08:00

My health care team (OB, NP, and perinatologist) decided my due date should be moved up 8 days to May 11th. I am not one to argue with most health professionals, so I essentially skipped a week and am now at 23 and some change. In the grand scheme of things, 8 days isn’t much, but to a pregnant lady, it is. Considering most twins are delivered around 36-37 weeks, the clock is winding down.

Another fun fact from this appointment was that I measure what I would at 27 weeks with a singleton. Good to know when I want to compare bellies to those at 27 weeks.

I am thrilled to get to see the wee ones again on Thursday. Another perk of having twins is that you get more frequent ultrasounds. Always fun to see them bopping around in there.

Here is what that looks like:

23 weeks

The progression so far for comparison:

17 weeks

20 weeks

23 weeks (or 22)

Conclusion: The bump is on the move.

23 week stats
Weeks along: 23 and a few days
Weight gain: Just over 20 pounds. Depending on the day.
Symptoms: Nothing new compared to last week besides feeling more and more affected by being busy. I couldn’t keep my eyes open Saturday night starting around 7 pm. Exciting weekends around here. I am also feeling each baby a lot more each day. I am staring to notice patterns of their activity, too. For now their little kicks and punches are fun and cute, but I have a feeling soon it will keep me up at night and possibly hurt. Or so I’ve been told.
Running status: I talked big last update. Unfortunately, I have to say my running has come to an end save for a few intervals during my walks. I am now walking at an incline for about 40 minutes and doing some lifting.
Eats: Focusing on the good stuff. I have been eating a lot of big salads for lunch.Protein and calcium are important to twin baby growth.
Cravings: Nothing new.
Clothing: About the same. Starting to feel bigger by the day! I am holding off on buying anything for a while until I start to really outgrow some non-maternity shirts.

20 week update

2012-01-05T06:51:00.000-08:00

I've officially reached the half way mark in weeks. It's a little over 4.5 months, because we all know 40 weeks does not equal 9 months.

Considering most twin pregnancies don't make it to 40 weeks, I could be over halfway. I read in one of my many books last night that the average twin delivery in the U.S. was 35.5 weeks. Ummm that's not that far away. Of course, the longer I am pregnant, the bigger the babies, so that is the ultimate goal.

On with the show...

20 weeks

Here's a tip: When you are pregnant, don't go back and look at photos of you from the summer before, in 140 mile-per-month-running shape, with a tan. You will hardly recognize your own face. Just based on how I retain water in non-pregnancy states, I knew going into this I would be puffy. And will be getting puffier.

Half way stats

Weeks along: 20 and a few days as of this posting

Weight gain: ~20 pounds (whoa) My Mom told me that Mariah Carey gained 70 with her twins. I can't imagine gaining another 50!!!!! That would be some serious eatin'.

Symptoms: Starting some back pain, getting some pelvic area pain and pressure after running, and on a positive note, I am starting to feel some little pokes and pops from my inhabitants. Mr. BKL even got to feel a couple on Christmas day. I am such a softie it made me tear up.

Running status: Still running but continuing to get more difficult and much slower. 3 miles at a time is what I aim for. Last week I had one run where 2.5 was as struggle. Because of the pressure and pain I am starting to feel, I am wary about continuing much longer. I am ordering one of these bad boys because I want to see if it helps. My heart and lungs feel great, but the pressure in the pelvic region and back after does not.

Eats: I met with an RD this week and she would like me to focus on more small meals throughout the day as well as my calcium intake. The month of December was a little too free and loose when it came to desserts and indulging, so I am trying to shape back up and focus on the good stuff. It's hard to want to eat fresh veggies when they look so sad in the grocery store. January in Minnesota doesn't exactly provide the bounty that summer does. I've been eating more frozen veggies and things like applesauce for fruit. She also mentioned maintaining my lean muscle mass. I agree. I need to do some more lifting and if I can't run soon, it will be my workout of choice. I won't be busting out the back squat PR's, but I think a 20 minute routine with dumbbells and body weight would be a good fit.

Cravings: None really. I think I experienced a true craving for fountain Diet Coke a few weeks back. It was strange because I used to swim in fountain DC's, but quit the habit about 3 years ago. Cereal and milk also always sound good. And, Mr. BKL teases me about my recent affinity towards sandwiches.

Clothing: I still have two pairs of non-maternity pants that I can wear to work. One I like to call my "magic pants" that I bought for $20 at Vanity in college. They were always big on me, but somehow they are still working and continue to be one of my favorites. The other pair is my Old Navy pants with elastic waist. I guess those barely count because of the elastic. Most shirts are still a go. I notice a lot of them becoming shorter in the front, so that will have to stop soon since I loathe too short shirts. A lot of regular tops out there today are pretty maternity friendly. I can't imagine being pregnant in the late 90's/early 00's with the belly shirts and low waist bell bottom jeans. *shudder*

Another year

2012-01-03T16:50:00.001-08:00

I am pretty sure my apathy towards setting New Years resolutions came across well in last year's post. Well, if ever there were a time to not set any, 20 weeks pregnant with twins would be it.

I am not going to give up on life totally, although today, after almost a week off from work, I definitely feel the urge to do nothing. Sort of goes along with my New Years post happening on the 3rd. Of course, I have goals surrounding the birth of the babies. Most importantly continuing to be proactive and healthy for the remaining 17/18/19 (20?) weeks of the pregnancy. And of course there are the little things like finishing our babies' room, buying truckloads of diapers and wipes, and continuing to reorganize our quaint house to fit two new humans into it.

(srcs)

Side note: After putting together both of our cribs, it would seem that you could fit about 4 newborns into one crib. I mean, I could even take a nap in those things.

I often get overwhelmed at being a good Mom. I worry that I won't know what to do in certain scenarios or handle the sleep deprivation. I worry about breastfeeding and the challenges it brings. I worry about worrying too much…you get the idea. So I try not to get caught up in stuff, but I have also been enjoying reading up on twins.

As for fitness and general healthiness, I feel like it goes without saying that I will want to get back into shape after the babies arrive. I have lost weight before, and I know I can do it again. So far, I haven't added too much extra padding anywhere besides my belly, but seeing as though I am only halfway, I figure I will at least double my current gain. Breastfeeding helps a lot of people lose the baby weight, while it keeps some extra pounds on for others. Time will tell.

As a long term goal, signing up for a 10 mile or 1/2 marathon race in the fall will keep me motivated and force me to take some time for myself. Here's hopin' there will be time for such endeavors as long runs.
An arbitrary short term goal is to learn more about my new camera so that when I have stuff to take pictures of, like dressing my twins in ridiculous outfits, not bowls of oatmeal, I know how to capture everything the way I want.

The last couple years have taught me that no matter how much I plan and set goals, life changes. And while it would be great to make a list of 20 things I am going to do in 2012, realistically I have no idea what each day will bring. I hesitate to even plan for next week, when I really do have to take it one day at a time. One of 137 to go.

1208

2011-12-23T07:19:00.000-08:00

1208

That's the amount of miles I've ran so far in 2011. Back in June, I thought I could hit 1500 no problem. Then I got pregnant, and things slowed down. I still wanted to make it to 1200, and am thankful my babies let me. I took a moment to pause as I finished that 1200th mile on Sunday (at a speedy 10 minutes) to reflect on the year and because I need to break more often. Again, thanks babies :) Getting back into running this year was one of the best things I've done. It's made me happy with my fitness, my body, and my confidence. Sure I would love to be faster, but maybe that will come in time.

I know in the running world, 1200 isn't that much. Some people will be running 2011 in 2011! For me, it's the most I've done in a year. I guess I may have ran more back in high school, but I never kept track.

I would love to set a mileage goal for next year, too. I don't want to get too set on something though, and then be disappointed when I don't have time to finish it. Considering I might not be allowed to work out until end of May (and that's being optimistic), it leaves about 7 months of the year. I think it would be enough time to train for a 10k, 10 mile or maybe even a 1/2 marathon in the fall. This is assuming I will have the time. I keep reading that taking time for yourself is crucial as a new parent. I hope that running will become my 30 minutes a day of "me" time. As crazy as it sounds, I miss my long runs. I miss those Saturday mornings of challenging myself to go further and feeling amazing the rest of the weekend because of it. I hope there will be time for those, too.

New Mom of twins runs 1/2 marathon. I like the way it sounds.

I hope you all enjoy your holiday and have safe travels. I will have some very much needed blissful vacation time. Sleep will be mine!

And then there were four

2011-12-19T18:21:00.001-08:00

Buy one, get one free? Sure thing. I guess God wanted to let us know he loved a good bargain, too. Two babies in one pregnancy. Otherwise known as twins.

The surprise of our lives happened at the end of October. I was 11 weeks along. There is a more personal story that goes along with how we found out about our two little pumpkins. I would like to keep that part private and hopefully you, my dear readers, can respect that. Just know that the way we found out was special.

Special, but completely shocking. We had no reason to suspect twins. At all. This whole journey has all been surprising and quick, so twins never crossed our minds. Often mothers carrying twins experience more severe symptoms like morning sickness, exhaustion and fatigue because there is just so much more going on. I had a few days here and there of nausea....less than almost all mom's of singletons experience. I even measured a normal size for a singleton at my first appointment. And while there are some twins in Mr. BKL's extended family, I have since learned that the fathers heredity has nothing to do with twins. Identical twins are completely spontaneous and fraternal twins are the result of two fertilized eggs. Twins can be passed down on the mother's side causing hyper ovulation (two eggs), but the father has no part in the multiples factor.

The emotions have run the gamut from overjoyed, shocked, overwhelmed, anxious, happy, concerned, and nervous. I would say I experience all of those still on a daily basis. And about once a day saying the word "babies" instead of "baby" causes disbelief. There are two babies growing inside me. Wow.
I have to take a second to get all sappy about my husband. Maybe it's cliché, and maybe all pregnant women experience this, but I can't believe how lucky I am to be going through all this with him. He truly is a partner and I know we are in this together and I will never feel alone. He will be there through all the sleepless nights, changing diapers, feeding, swaddling, rocking, protecting and caring for his family. The three of us are grateful already.

Before I knew it was twins, I didn't want to find out. I still think about not knowing the day they are born, and how exciting it would be. But I quickly changed my mind to being beyond excited to know what they are. Well, we found out on Friday that we have healthy, fraternal twins. One boy and one girl. One of each. We feel beyond blessed and I am bursting at the seams with excitement...I couldn't wait any longer to announce it.

My first boy/girl purchase…tiny socks.

Another amazing thing about twins is how much food I am supposed to be eating. Lots of research abounds that shows gaining 20 pounds by 20 weeks helps grow big babies. The goal of twins is to make sure they are large enough at the end to be healthy for the outside world. Most twins are born between 4-6 pounds. The thought is if I can gain weight, the babies have a better chance of getting to a good size early when there is still room in the womb (heh) to develop. At the end things just get crowded, so they don't have as much space to grow those little bodies. So far, I think I am on track. It's been hard letting go of everything I know about eating and what I have been trying to maintain all these years. It's not about me now, and it won't be for a very long time. Might as well get used to it, right Mom's?

As for running and exercise, of course carrying twins makes everything riskier. I haven't been told not to run yet, but I know that soon it will be just too uncomfortable. As I grow, there is more pressure on everything. It's estimated that your size when pregnant with twins is to measure about 8 weeks ahead. So if I am 18 weeks, my size is more like 26. Eventually I will just walk. And after that I might just rest. After all, I have my 3/4's of my family to think about.

17 week update

2011-12-12T17:02:00.001-08:00

This past week, I finally got to see my OB. In what is sort of a long story in which I will share soon, I had started out seeing a midwives group. Also for reasons which I will share soon, it was determined that I would be seeing a doctor from then on.

Even though we didn't do much at the appointment, I feel really good about having a plan in place and some appointments on the calendar to look forward to. The biggest one being the anatomy scan or 20 week ultrasound in which we can find out the sex if we want.

Another interesting tidbit is that based on my previous ultrasound, she mentioned I am (or the baby is) measuring a week ahead. I would rather be ahead than behind! Or, I am just growing a large baby. Which, wouldn't be a shock as big babies run in both my side and Mr. BKL's side. Yay?

I am feeling more and more pregnant each day, as I seem to continue to grow. I was thrilled to run 5 miles yesterday, albeit slowly. It was my longest run since November 12th, when I ran 7.5 miles. It was about 37 degrees yesterday and besides the wind, it was a perfect day for a winter run. I much enjoy and relish my time outdoors over the treadmill, but am thankful still to have purchased on this fall.

I started taking extra iron over the weekend per recommendation of my doctor. I am hoping it will help with my energy levels (and my workouts) as I had been feeling pretty exhausted some days. They say the baby takes what it needs, and the mother is left to feel the effects. I think this was the case for me the past couple weeks. Must have been a growth spurt – for both of us!

By the numbers
Weeks pregnant: 17 (or 18!)
November miles run: 87.5 (YTD as of end of November: 1166)
Maternity pants purchased: 4
Baby size fruit/veggie comparison: an onion

And for your viewing pleasure, a bump photo. 17 weeks in all it's glory.

Please ignore my semi-wet hair and deer in headlights look. I will work on the “art of the bump” photos for next time.

Pants Party

2011-12-07T16:30:00.001-08:00

This is the furthest thing from a fashion blog, but I wanted to send out a PSA about my new favorite pants. (I didn’t think the title of my two current posts would have pants in them, but never say never.)Now, I’m sure you’re thinking “yeah maternity pants do look pretty comfy…duh", but these pants are for everyone – gestating or not.

I pretty much gave up trying to make most pants at Old Navy work long ago. They always gapped at the waist and just fit funny. I know people love them, and I wish I did because they are affordable. Then one day, I saw these:

src

I of course was probably more excited about the prospect of elastic waisted pants in my current state than I would have been normally. But seriously…non maternity, non workout, non sweat pant elastic waist pants. What’s not to like? They also had them in denim, but I wasn’t a fan of the wash. And, it appears they are on sale for $20 now. The great news about these pants is the waist also sits low enough that I think my bump will stay above it. Time will tell. So far, they are my go-to pants.

Since I am on the topic of clothing, it’s such a strange phenomenon to have everything fit except in your waist. I have always had the opposite problem with pants most of my life. If I wanted my thighs to fit, the waist was usually too large. I have gained weight, but based on how my clothes are fitting, it seems to be all in the bump ‘n boobs. I guess that’s what is desirable. I don’t want to be putting on extra weight in my arms and legs because that would serve no physiological purpose. At least I wouldn’t think so. If I do I won’t be upset of course, but I’m glad my body is cooperating. Only 24 weeks to go!

P.S. I know this post would be a lot more relevant with me pictured in the pants, and so you can see my expanding waist. I wore them today, but am really trying to avoid the whole taking cell phone in work restroom thing. I can’t imagine a more awkward moment if someone else walked in. Moar photoz to come!

The one with the fat pants

2011-11-29T09:30:00.001-08:00

TV shows have become so relatable to my life lately. Seinfeld almost always can be worked into a conversation. It was no coincidence that over Thanksgiving I became the owner of my very first fat maternity pants, because you may recall the friends episode where Joey borrows Phoebe's maternity pants for Thanksgiving dinner to make more room for food.

src

I've been able to wing it with a lot of my pants up until now, but things haven't been going as well in the last couple weeks. The fact that my belly seems to swell depending on the day determines what pants will fit. One day I couldn't even come close to buttoning a pair of jeans, but the following day the same pants fit just fine and were actually comfortable. What gives? I assume water retention.

Besides waving the white flag on some more fitted pants a few weeks ago, I discovered yesterday that my growing belly/love handles/thighs no longer jive with some Nike Pro winter running tights. I was pulling them up about every mile during my 4 mile run yesterday. I am sure I was quite the sight. I guess before they would sit above or at my hip bones just right.

Moments like these are still hard to swallow. I know my weight gain and changing body is for the greater good, but as someone who has never been 100% comfortable body image wise, it takes some mental fortitude to justify it all. I think the fact that I am not at that cute bump stage yet doesn't help. I just look like I ate a lot for 4 days. (Which I did this weekend, btw).

So, do I buy another more accommodating pair of running tights? I have one pair that works just fine and should since they have always been a little looser in the waist. Do I need more than one pair is more of the question. It's another sad realization that I won't be needing deluxe winter running gear when the longest I will probably venture out is 5 miles the duration of the 2011/2012 winter season. My goal for now is to keep running until 26 weeks, or roughly the end of 2nd trimester. It might be a bit ambitious, but my definition of running may be modified to only a couple miles jogged at a time.

It's still running, right?

Musings on running while pregnant, et al

2011-11-22T04:21:00.001-08:00

Thank you all for your kind words, congratulations, and comments that made me laugh on my previous post. It's an exciting yet nerve wracking time. I am the ultimate worrywart, so I always think about the "what if's" probably too much.

Since pregnancy is pretty much at the forefront right now, not a whole lot else has been happening in my life. To top it off, I have been working 50+ hours a week, so exciting things like a social life, weekend excursions, and general fun have been limited. You know, because drinking = fun. No? (Just kidding Mom and Dad).

As I mentioned in my last post, I have still been running. It's really interesting to deal with the mental aspect of this. Being about a minute per mile slower has been humbling. (And even slower on the treadmill!) Not that I think I was fast to begin with or anything. I leave the Garmin at home quite often. I usually only take it with for my "long runs" which haven't been more than 9.5 miles since September. My pace for those is usually right around 9:20 to 9:30 per mile. I usually take a few breaks for water every 2-3 miles as well.

Interestingly enough, I feel like I can still run fast and push the tempo, but I don't because I know I probably shouldn't. It always makes me wonder what if? There's all these rules out there, but how much do we really know? I feel like exercise and pregnancy is a gray area. You always hear the same rehashed stuff like don't let your heart rate get over 140 bpm. Funny, because I am pretty sure mine is always over that and it was before I was pregnant on easy runs. I hear of many success stories of mama's to be running until their water breaks, so I think the key here is having a receptive and knowledgeable OB/midwife on your side. I feel like it's a broken record to say "listen to your body", but if you are an experienced runner or exerciser in general, you know when you are pushing too hard. (My body actually tells me to eat pizza and lay on the couch all day. Perhaps yours tells you different.)

Speaking of running, I took my growing belly and it's precious contents and hit the road on Sunday for my first pregnant sub-freezing run. It was about 25 degrees with no wind. Perfect. The roads and trails were a bit messy with some slushy and icy spots, so I was extra careful to watch my footing. I've only fallen twice (I think…maybe less) in 15 years of running outside in winter, so I feel pretty sure-footed out there. Still, I won't be taking the risks I used to in the icy, crunchy snow this year.

This weekend also included a lot of much needed organization, purging, re-decorating, and re-arranging. Since Mr. BKL has to be the one to paint the baby's room, we had to get a head start on it. He coaches a winter sport, so his time is even more limited. And by the time that's over, I will probably be too huge and miserable to be of any use to anyone. We chose a neutral color for the walls. I am not big into pastels and don’t want the room to be so baby like, rather, I want it to be more kid friendly so they can grow into it. They are only babies for a short time after all.

Behr Sparkling Apple (src)

To round out this random post, I hope everyone is enjoying the awesome short week. (And if you have to work over the holiday celebrating gluttony, I am sorry for bringing it up again.) I need a day off something fierce. Sorry I’m not sorry I don’t have a Thanksgiving recipe or 500 to share. I will be contributing nothing but a bottle of wine. If I can’t drink it, someone should.

Without further ado, the reason for my absence.

2011-11-14T19:22:00.001-08:00

I was never good at answering the question "where do you see yourself in 5 years? What about 10?" Mostly because I've never been good at setting non-exercise related goals. In high school I always said I would be graduated college with a degree and a job. Married and with a family someday. It was pretty vague. I never said I am going to be a marine biologist or something else that generated the ooohs and ahhs of accomplishment. (I know you went to school with those girls who said they were going to be marine biologists.) I went to college thinking I would be an architect because it sounded neat and I liked to draw…and stuff. I had no idea what I was getting myself into at the time. I just assumed I would always follow the beaten path of professional career, marriage, and family. You don't plan on things like unemployment along the way. When I was in college I can honestly say that not being able to find a job whilst having a bachelors degree from a university never crossed my mind. In fact, not being able to find any job at all never crossed my mind. My serving and bar tending gigs of high school and college came easily.

Not a real marine biologist. (src)

When the layoffs came around to me, I was in shock. I was scared. I felt like a failure. I felt worthless. It felt unfair that this was happening to me and more importantly us. I feel like I let my husband down somehow. Our plans of starting a family together were put on hold indefinitely. At least I had a great and typically me cynical come back for when those annoying "when are you going to have babies?" questions came up.

Then I got a job. I felt like I had won the lottery. The privilege to have benefits and a steady paycheck had been all I wanted for a year, because deep down, I didn't really care about being the CEO of a company or some other grand position (see above), I just wanted a stable life. I am sure I am making it sound like I have always been baby crazy. Not true. I have gone through serious phases of ultimate doubt. How will I ever be able to take care of another human if I still feel like a teenager? I can't remember my lunch in the morning, how will I be able to remember soccer practice, doctors appointments, and their lunch? I have to give up beer/wine/coffee/sushi/anything delicious for 9 months or MORE? I won't be able to spend money on ME? I will have to get fat and say goodbye to my mediocre abs? When will I sleep? How will we afford it? What about their college tuition? You get the idea.

Apparently, everyone says "oh you will never be ready!" Well, I was pretty far from ready for a long time. After getting the job, I felt pressure to get this baby train rolling. I wasn't getting any younger, and my biggest concern was age. I always knew I wanted a family, but knew I couldn't wait until I was 45 to start. (At least not ideally for me - I know there are lots of couples who start their families later in life.)

The summer of 2011 rolled on. Our "plan" was in place. All of a sudden it was time for the "plan" to commence. Because of this I held off on signing up for a ton of races this fall. I really wanted to run a 1/2 marathon, but knew in the back of my mind it probably wasn't the best. I didn't know what would happen if I did end up pregnant and how my body would handle it. Being the frugal gal that I am, I knew spending money on race fees that I would potentially have to bow out of wasn't smart.

I did keep one race on my calendar. The Bear Water Run 10 mile on 9/10/11. Remember that one? Remember how I said it "just wasn't my day?" Well, it really was my day. But not for running. That morning I took a pregnancy test and it was positive. (I had a good hunch it would be positive because I had been feeling very off - especially during my training runs - the previous two weeks. They say you just know sometimes. I guess I did.) For some reason, I decided to still run the race. (See above about money.) I was distracted and completely exhausted. I started out way too fast and totally died at the end. My thoughts were most certainly not on the race. It was still fun and I can now say it was baby’s first race.

Since the day we found out, I have been reading, researching, and day dreaming about what the little bean will look like. I can't say I was immediately in love with my embryo. It barely felt real. The day I saw the first ultrasound, I have to admit it was hard to keep the smile off my face. I look at them often.

During the first trimester, most days I felt exactly the same and barely noticed “my condition.” I have to say I feel pretty lucky in terms of first trimester sickness from the horror stories I hear from others. I had days where I felt really tired or had some nausea, aches and pains, and bloating, but nothing I couldn't battle through. I haven't had any strong aversions or cravings. Sure, lots of things sound good, but I don't think I've experienced a true craving. Now that I am in the second trimester, I'm told things only get better from here, until they get downright uncomfortable at the end. I am also extremely lucky to have been bale to keep up my running. I have managed 20-25 miles per week which is just a little less than before the spawn. Sure I'm a LOT slower, but I am still out there putting one foot in front of the other and for that I am grateful.

So now you know where I've been hiding and why I've not been blogging. Of course I've had lots to talk about, but we (Mr. BKL and I) made a decision to wait to spread the news.

As for the future of what's to come on this blog, well it's mine and I can talk about what I want. But, I don't think it's in my nature to be all ZOMG BABIES all the time. That being said, I've learned to never say never about anything anymore. I do know that for the foreseeable future, there won't be talk about beer or running races. ::dabs lone tear off cheek:: My goal is to talk about staying healthy and sane during this ultimate endurance event. And let’s face it, millions of women have birthed babies. This is nothing new and I am not that special. (Don’t tell my Mom that.)

Also, since we don't have a huge house or tons of disposable income, there won't be much talk about mega glam nurseries, the latest and greatest large plastic objects (aka baby toys), or new vehicles. I also won't sit here and write out an elaborate birth plan or even pretend to know what the heck is going on when it comes to birthing and raising babies. Things can happen. If it's one thing that remains the same, it's that things change.

Current stats
Weeks along: 13 weeks and 3 days (technically 2nd trimester if you divide 40 by 3)
Maternity clothes: Not yet, but some pants have already been phased out.
Workouts: Running 20-25 mpw and lifting about 2x a week.
Weight gained: ? More than 5, less than 10. I haven't been weighing closely.
Favorite foods: cheese, soft pretzels, bread, Twix bars, Sweet Baby Rays Buffalo Wing dipping sauce
Least favorite food: fruity gummy bears
Current symptoms: Fatigue, continually slowing running speeds, indigestion.
Thing that annoys me right now: A co-riker eating an apple loudly and painfully slow, every. single. day, the neighbors obnoxious security flood light that seems to be possessed by the underworld and wakes me up at night, the sometimes smelly bathroom at work.*

And that my friends, is how to do a blogger pregnancy announcement with a lone photo of George Costanza.

* These are not necessarily related to pregnancy. I am annoyed easily.

Dark Days

2011-11-08T08:38:00.000-08:00

I am breaking my silence to simply complain about daylight savings time ending. Ever since I can remember, I hated the "fall back" time change. And it all stems from one thing: running. When I was in high school, I ran outdoors year round. In cotton clothing no less. I would make it home in time to run quick before it got dark, and still get to my job which usually started at 5. There were the days where the weather forced me to run at the local senior center indoor walking track. It was a bargain, but I got bored and it smelled funny. I also got sick A LOT that winter. Just sayin'.

(Insert goofy clip art of clock falling back here.)

In college, I was able to keep my class schedule outdoor running friendly for the most part. That's right, I planned my schedule around not too early classes and not too late classes. It worked until the final year when my thesis was from 1-5pm, 4 days a week. That year was also the year I did the least amount of running in my life. Not a coincidence.

Which brings me to today. The modern era of the working woman who doesn't get home before 5pm. Guess when it gets dark here? 5pm. Now that I have my own treadmill, it makes things easier, but let's be honest. It's still a treadmill.

I'm sure most people don't see why this is a problem and I agree, I could explore some options.

For instance, I could find some friends who also like to run. We could run together in the dark, thereby making it safer. Sort of. Depends on where we would run. I like running alone and finding a friend who runs at the same pace and wants to run in the winter is harder than it sounds.
I could join a running group, again with the same goal. I am apprehensive at joining a group because a) I am not that fast, b) I am not a joiner c) it intimidates me and d) I don't want to pay for it.
I could find somewhere safe to run. This is doable, but I would have to drive quite a bit out of my way. Not exactly a time efficient activity during rush hour. And even then, is anywhere really completely safe? Is anywhere safe in the day light for that matter? Finding somewhere safe also involves finding safe surfaces. One the snow and ice are here, the streets are pretty much the only option. I worry about a car not seeing me more than stranger danger.
Where/when do you run in the dark, cold days?

I might venture out in the dark on some higher traffic streets with sidewalks before the snow is here. Once the snow piles up, you can't guarantee sidewalks will be kept clear unfortunately, as it's up to the homeowner. I need to get a sweet reflective vest or maybe a blinky light first!

10 things

2011-10-18T11:13:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I know I just said I would be back in a few weeks, but I have to heed the call to answer a meme!

The lovely Lisa from Cow Spots and Tales nominated me as a Versatile Blog and a Blog she Digs. Thanks Lisa, I dig your blog, too!

The deets with this meme are easy, just post 10 facts about yourself. Onward.

1. I think I have used this one as a fun fact before, but I have never mowed a lawn. Before you judge, let me explain. When I was growing up, my dear father kept a very nice yard and lawn. He is one of what I assume is a few people who enjoy mowing the lawn. (On a riding mower of course). So, he always did it. I think my brother was asked to do it a few times, but his diagonals were not up to par, so he got booted. That's how I remember it anyway. If I told you how many lawns/acres of lawn my Dad mows in the summer, your minds will be boggled.

2. My first car was a '89 Toyota Camry. It had a Power button near the emergency brake. I have since learned that many foreign cars of that era also had a Power button. I have yet to learn what purpose it served.

3. I have one brother and one sister. My sister just turned 18 last week and is a senior this year. It's a bit of an age gap, but it has kept life interesting and fun. I'm sure my parents would say the same thing.

4. At the age of 11, I won the MN State Archery Indoor Target Championship. And I still have the t-shirt to prove it. And I still wear it for pajamas. Bet you didn't see that one coming.

5. My favorite sport is hockey, but I never played. (On a team anyway). It's always been a part of my life and hopefully will be in some way or another for years to come.

6. I am a self professed font geek. I can name a lot of fonts on the spot and believe that a baby kitten dies every time you write any professional correspondence using Comic Sans. Because when you do? I can't possibly take you serious. Oh there's a meeting at 3? Or are you just joshin' because your message looks so light and humorous. Will there be a clown there?

I wish I had more time to dabble and learn more about graphic design. I think in a different life I would have went in a more artistic direction than the one I am currently leading.

7. Favorite foods: Ice cream, chips and fresh salsa and/or nachos, cheese (yes, any and all cheese), monster cookies, hot peppers/giardiniera, coffee, dark hoppy beer. Lots of health right there folks.

8. Least favorite foods: Iceberg lettuce, water chestnuts, celery, tuna, canned chunk chicken. In other words, stay far, far away from me with your tuna salad sandwich.

9. I have only seen one Star Wars movie in it's entirety. Once.

10. I have been cleaning and organizing some of our closets lately. I gathered enough of my own clothes to discard to fill two garbage bags, but can't seem to part with my old team track and soccer t-shirts circa 1994-2000. I hardly wear them, but for some reason am nostalgic about them. The practical side of me does not compute.

So there you have it! I know I am supposed to nominate some other bloggers, so here are a few. You can play along if you like. I won't hunt you down if you don't want to play. Promise.

Kat at Tenaciously Yours
Kier from Life and Running in Iowa
Jeri from JerBear Shares